#I keep forgetting that I'm doomed to be alone and keep getting my heart broke I'm so angry and hate myself

[sensitivegoblin]

Vent

[rou-luxe]

please elaborate on the grandpa clavis bc I don't know much about Alfons, so idk what to think about that 😭

hEHehEhhAaAaHAHA LET'S GO I HAVE PERMISSION TO GET THE IDEA OUT OF MY HEAD (cracks knuckles) I love them both

analysis under the cut spoilers for Clavis, light spoilers for Alfons

I kinda quit Alfons route early to go to the English server release because my brain is too lazy to translate everything 😭 so this is just from what I know about him. this is doomed to be inaccurate 💀

warning this gets off topic in some places because my analysis ideas carried me a bit too far because I love them

The central point is that they both use pleasurable experiences to ignore reality. Alfons focuses a LOT on the pleasure part of that, as seen from erm his lack of sleep and mentions it plenty in voicelines. Alfons also applies this philosophy to people other than himself. Alfons sometimes protects MC from uncomfortable realities, like the scene where he and Ellis kill someone, and uses his power to convince MC that it was just a play (Kate LOVES plays).

As seen from his profile, Alfons heavily resents pain of any sort. I already forgot when exactly (chapter 4 premium avatar challenge?), but at some point, MC is crying and he consoles them before you know- this is just an assumption, but I think he doesn't want any sort of emotional turmoil in those close to his heart. He keeps reassuring Elbert that he is much more beautiful than MC without hesitation. Not only is he making sure MC is safe and doesn't get in a horror-esque story (nervously looks at Elbert trailer), he's also making sure that Elbert doesn't get jealous to the point of performing taxidermy on a person... because the events leading up to that would hurt them both. This makes Alfons feel so kind and considerate ngl 😭

Clavis wants to be loved by all. The game sometimes describes him as "lonely" - this is likely because he was overshadowed by Chev as a kid, and because he felt so shaken by his mother's death that he needed attention from others to feel more complete. It also connects to his pranks. He wants to feel something, anything to pretend he's not dying inside. Whether the attention he gets is positive or negative, at least he feels something.

It's mentioned quite a lot in his path that the more pained / scared Clavis is feeling, the more he smiles. It's sort of his coping mechanism. By smiling, he can pretend everything is alright (HIS MOM 😭😭 I'M GONNA FUHGKING CRY SHE MUST'VE BEEN SO SWEET AND BEAUTIFUL AND Cybird I want to see his mom).

He also does somewhat force MC to be around him, but it's not in a Silvio way, it comes off more clingy to me. He's been left alone, abandoned so many times, that he can't bare the pain of loneliness anymore. And thus we get dragged to his breakfast parties. Another coping mechanism. Clavis gets to spend time with MC every morning, gets to cook for her (...it's the thought that counts) and terrorize a couple of his half-brothers... just to forget it all. Clavis even escapes from his prison cell just to see you, the light of his life. (I love him)

"Sylvatica" comes from the scientific name for "forget-me-not". This one is completely an assumption that seems rather unlikely, but perhaps like Clavis, Alfons wants to be remembered somehow.

I can't remember if this was legit or not because I've been scrolling through Tumblr too much but I remember seeing a post that went something like: "Alfons has MC sign (something) papers because after he dies, his curse will make him forgotten and he just wants something to prove that he loved MC" or something. (That post broke my heart so bad.) Is that why he's called a "phantom"?

In summary:

They both have their own ways of ignoring reality, and they are both up to trickery (especially when it comes to MC). Both endulge in enjoyment, it's part of their lifestyle. doesn't necessarily refer to seggs but it does sure sound like it

I'm not quite sure where Alfons' ignorance originates, but all Clavis wants is to be loved. Give him the love.

Okay onto the shorter sillier theories because my heart can't take this

Clavis' epithet is "The Pleasure-Loving Beast", and Alfons' is "The Hedonistic Thrill-Seeker".

Clavis likes tricks and teasing, and so does Alfons. Though Clavis does that MUCH more often.

They also act like they're fucking around but they actually know what they're doing.

They pretend to be worse than they are 😭 (omg shakespeare too... is that my type... 💀)

Others have made this remark before but Alfons feels like a darker Clavis + more unhinged

They both like to cook. And eat. And they both have stomachs of steel.

sword

They both have bad handwriting. Clavis is notorious for this, and Alfons says he has bad handwriting in the first letter of his path.

Fuck I forgot I had science homework due tomorrow

edit: I forgot another one they both are self-described "gentlemen" 😭😭

[annabellenaughtyprincessrose]

My Brothers, The Lovers ❤ (Repost: Classic fanfic)

My Brothers, The Lovers *Revised version*

By Annabelle Naughty Princess Rose

Summary:I wouldn't trade my Brothers for anything in the world. SAM/DEAN/OFC. Wincest!

Rated: MA (18+)

Author notes: Hey guys! Well, I have  another classic fic of mine to share. This was a little idea I had while I wrote this story, an OFC sister of Sam and Dean Winchester, and thier growing forbidden bond. So, this is a Wincest story.

This story was recently published on my Fanfiction.net, as well as on live journal, Wattpad, and WordPress page. There may be some little changes I made because the story had bad typos. (Don't judge me.)

Please note: That this story contains Wincest. If you are uncomfortable with this nature, please DO NOT read!

Lastly, I don't own any characters. The story plot was my idea. ;)

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

(Reader's POV:)

I love my brothers. They are caring. They are protective. When you're feeling down, they turn your frown upside down. If it was over a guy, they would stop at nothing to nail his ass to a wall. Any person, whether boy or girl is lucky to have them.

I wouldn't trade my brothers for anything in the world. They are a godsend. Sam and Dean: my knights in shinning amour.

We been through a lot together. Since our father died, it has been hell on earth...literally!

But no matter, we had stuck it through till the end and now we could live our lives...

A lot has happened since we saved the world from certain doom. We had one hard challenge: to learn how to live normal lives. I mean, I know it sounds stupid to do one simple thing, but come on, In our eyes, we are hunters. We were born as hunters. I don't think the three of us couldn't shake the fact that life was over. It was the only thing we knew.

But still, we somehow mange to cope with it. We settled in Kansas with the help of our father's will. We brought a house pretty much like the one you see on those commercials with the white picket fence.

It was close to the University Sam was planning to attend to resume his studies as a attorney and close to Lisa, Dean's one last stand and his possible legitimate lovechild Ben. I, myself was planning to go to a local Community College. At first, I didn't really wanted to go to school, but Sam insisted that it was serve me well later in life.

Yeah, life was perfect... at least for the half of that year. The urge of the life of freedom were still brewing inside us. We miss the life with no worries, of bills, school, kids...

So we sold the house hop into the impala and left.

About three months after, I noticed that our bond was changing. I noticed Dean would at times, would make quick glances out from the corner of my eye. I really didn't pay to much attention to it at first because I thought it was something that brothers normally do.

But now I found at night when I take turns laying next to him or Sam, at times I could have swore I felt his eyes staring down at me while I sleep.

Sam on the other hand had a very different approach. There would be times whenever me and him are alone, he wouldn't normally act like your typical big brother. He would act as though like a boyfriend. When me and him are alone, He would be a lot closer than usual. At times when I'm in the shower, I could have swore that I heard him breathing on the other side of the curtain not to mention to very tall figure I see just standing mere inches.

I guess I'm just imagination things. That's it's all in my head. Or maybe, I have a bad case of thinking dirty. Can I help it? I am not going to lie. My brothers are absolutely drop-dead gorgeous! They could get the princess of Cambridge a heat attack! I found that comment to be quite interesting! I begin to think the times when the three of us would be out, like geoceries shopping, bars,at the park. I have women rolling their eyes, whispering words about me, thinking that I was a whore for my brothers...

Nothing could prepare me for what happened two weeks later...

I remember that day as if it was yesterday. I was sitting on the sidewalk in front of a sleazy hotel. I was writing in my journal at the same time sneaking glances at Dean as he was wiping down the impala. The way he smiles as he glazes down at his baby makes me happy but a tad jealous...but he assure me that I was his main baby.

I could hear the faint sound of water coming from the bathroom. Sam,was inside, washing his god build form in the shower.

Turning my head, I couldn't help but grin as I saw a narrow view of his ass. Even after all these years, Sam still had a nasty habit about leaving the shower curtain open.

"Hey," Dean replies getting my attention. I turn my head towards him trying to look innocent."What are you smirking at?" He asks.

At his question, I raised my eyebrows giving him a side smile.

"Nothing. just a thought I was thinking." I looked up at him and I could tell he wasn't buying it. That's the thing I love about Dean, he has the sense to know whether something was troubling me or Sam...and he would stop at nothing to find out.

"About? I curious," He replies in a singing tone making me laugh.

"It's personal. My thoughts only," I winked. Finally he give up the debate and returns to his duty wiping down his impala.

Later that night, we decided to pay a visit at local bar. That day was the worst night of my life.

To be from what seemed, the only sibling with two very handsome attractive brothers was a bitch!

From the second we walk in, there were woman, whether their were in a relationship,married, or even betrayal their same-sex partner, had cornered us.

One was a blonde, who I can tell had the personality of stupid trying to seduce Dean with her luscious but totally fake breasts. While a brunette who was staring Sam down and was the bartender of the bar didn't give a damn if she had other people waiting to be served. It disgust me how women could be so depraved for a man.

I wanted to get out of there. The room felt as through it was trying to suffocate me. It hurt my heart to see I was the only one left out. To keep myself from bursting into tears, I did just that but my attempt to leave was cut short by a hand on by wrists.

Turning my head, I came face to face to a man who was pure hillbilly. He had messy hair,oily jumper and I remember that when I was at the bar, I would turn my head and he would smile at me.

"Where do you think you're going, darling?" The man asked. I can tell that he was drunk and had the slightest clue as what he was doing.

"Going home," I replied. "And I appreciated if you remove your hand from my wrist." I tried to Jerk him away but it was a useless attempt.

"I don't think so darling, You're looking very pretty there's no need for an angel face like you to scurry away..."He tried to pull me along, but I stood my ground. Then he does the unthinkable, He roughly pulls me against him loosing his balance completely falling on one of the now broken tables.

Everyone turned their heads Including Sam and Dean who immediately lest from their social gathering to my aid.

"Hey Asshole!"Dean replies as he and Sam walked over to the scene. "What are you doing with my sister?!" He began to throw insults at the poor man, while ignoring Sam's attempt to help me up, I stood up on my feet.

"I'm fine," I replied. "The fat ass broke my fall."

"Fat ass?" The man shouted. "Who are you calling a fat ass you bitch!"

"Hey!" Dean shouted. reaching down to jerk the man up by his collar. "Don't fucking talk to my sister like that!"

"What happened?" Sam asked, taking my hand and I jerked it away.

"Oh! Like you care! he was trying to rape me!" I shouted. "Forget it! I'm getting the fuck out of here!" The last thing I remember was Dean calling that fat bastard "a Son of a Bitch" before throwing punches and Sam trying to calm him down.

At the Hotel, I stood fully nude in the shoulder letting the warm water abuse my body. I was just so relieved that I got out of there.

So what I acted like a ass. So what if I act like a jealous girlfriend. I'm not going to be held responsive. I could hear the door to the hotel room opening following the distant voices between the two.

Dean was shouted some sentence that were inseparable and Sam was speaking in a mild tone. I covered my ears, to try to block out the conversation, along with the pounding of the door, but it a useless. Finally, I finished my shower, wrapped myself in a towel, and took a deep breath. I made my way out of the bathroom with my head down before glazing at the faces of my older brothers.

Sam, who now has a sad look on his face. His green eyes sparking with concern. Whilst Dean has a pissed off expression, trying his best to remain calm. There were no words that were unable to fall out of mouth. I just walked passed them and climb into to very large king side bed we shared with saying a unexpectedly surprising, I suddenly began to cry my ear out.

Almost immediately, Sam and Dean's expressions changed. If they were confused, I could say the same thing. The reason why I was crying, I couldn't understand. I was always the second tough one when it comes from intense situations, I guess with everything that we had been through together finally had took a toll on me. I see with my watery eyes Sam turned towards Dean and he nodded his head. without hesitation, they began to walk towards me.

Dean lay on my left, Sam lay on my right. They huddled up against me trying to console me. Sam was wiping away from my tears, while Dean began to rub small circles down my back.

This warm fuzzy feeling began to grow inside me. I gaze into Sam's eyes and I can see the easiness and calm in his face. Then I did the unthinkable. I reached my hand and caress his cheek and I leaned in a kiss him passionately on the lips.

There was no feeling I can't describe other than, I felt as through I explode into a million pieces. What was more shocking is that Sam didn't pull away. He gave in and began to response with my advances. Dean was anxious to show his passion. I could feel his lips on my neck, his hands trailed down to my breast giving them a firm squeeze.

I moaned in response breaking my lips with Sam replacing them with his. I tried to show my love for the both of them. Wanting to give them all of me...

Everything happen in a flash. the removing of clothes. The hot soft lips on my heated skin. The feeling of being completely filled. Like flipping a page in a book. Like riding the biggest wave and suddenly ,you're caught in the tide.I felt so much pleasure.

It felt like Heaven. It was heaven...

That was last night...

And here we are...

Today is a new day. I stare at the ceiling with a smile on my face as I felt warm naked bodies sleeping silently against me...

Nude Dean on my left...

Nude Sam on my right.

Right now, I can't say that God is pleased. Not with the events that had happened. Now, When I said I love my brothers...I love them more than just a sibling nature. I love them, I'm madly in love with them! When I think of their eyes and their smiling faces, it makes my body want to explode in fireworks.I don't care what people would say. I don't care if our father would turn over in his grave, I feel like I'm the luckiest girl in the world! it always will be the three of us forever...

Sam and Dean,

My brothers, the lovers.

The End.

[iffyswriting]

Gang-Related 1

Pairing: Ann-Marie x Black!OC

Genre: Romance and Angst.

Summary: Journey Nelson is in need of money, quick and fast. She's enlisted by her friend to become a dealer for one of the most fearful Gangs in their city. She meets the leader, Ann-Marie and sooner than later they begin a romance that is doomed to burn up in flames.

Note: I might as well start dropping some of my lesbian fics over here. I'm finding it difficult finding black gay fics 🥺. If y'all have any, don't be shy- DM it too me!

"Hurry the fuck up, Journey!" Tika yelled to me breathlessly, her feet slapping against the pavement just as fast as mine.

I looked both ways before crossing the street, more sweat gathering on my hands. My heart drummed in my chest the darkness surrounding me furthering the anxiety I felt.

2 months ago I'd never be out this late but things had changed and I had changed. I was desperate and when you're desperate you become a person you've never known before.

We came up to a building shrouded in darkness, slipping into its shadows. Under the umbrella, Tika knocked on the door three times, grabbing my arm to making me stand back. We waited for what seemed like longer than a few minutes when a slot under the door opened and Tika slipped something to the other side.

It opened seconds later and a girl glared at both Tika and I as we came in. A small number of girls covered the entire area leaning on furniture. Some were counting money, others were packaging- all were talking but it came to a stop when I stepped into the room.

I puffed out my chest to seem a little tougher under their scrutinizing gaze but I still felt like I was posing. Pretending to be hard when I was really easily breakable.

"Who the fuck is this?"

"Someone new."

"You got cleared for that?" The girl with green hair questioned, leaning on her hip.

"You about to get cleared for an ass-whooping, if you keep asking questions. "Tika gritted through her teeth. "Where's Ann?"

"Where she always is- in the back."

"Thank you." Their eyes had yet to leave me, burning holes into my back as we walked down the long hall. I started to feel more restless, the closer we got to the back and I couldn't control the twitching in my body.

Knocking on a new door, Tika glanced my way sucking her teeth at the sight of my shaking hands.

"You need to get your nerves together. You can't look nervous in front of this girl- you'll look like a pussy."

"I can't help it." I said wiggling my fingers."My body shakes on its own."

"What are you scared for anyway?" Chewing on my bottom lip, I felt embarrassed to say.

"What if she doesn't like me?"

"That's what the hell you're worried about!?"

"She has to like me- if I'm gonna work for her, she has to think of me in a positive light. That's how a good, boss-employee relationship works."

"Fuck Journey," She rubbed the space between her eyes." I forget how you are sometimes."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Before she could answer the door opened and a single person moved out of the way showcasing who we needed to see. The Ann-Marie, sat on a table counting her stacks, the hard-earned money she worked for.

You could consider her enigma- her male counterparts taking her as a joke when it came to selling and handling a kingdom. Nothing was funny about how she moved, however, and she proved herself to more ruthless than expected.

Ann-Marie isn't a terrifying name but she makes it scary. She brings dread just by a mere mention and that's power a single person holds. Power that surrounds her crew and everything else she does.

Tika asked me why I was so afraid- the reputation before me proceeded all things especially fear.

"Tika Ray!"Ann gave a fake warm welcome, her eyes bouncing onto me as an intruder."I see you bringing visitors unannounced now."

"I'm bringing you, workers."

"I didn't ask for that." Her mouth was drawn into a frown, prepared to dig into Tika.

"We always could use the help." She attempted before a scoff was heard.

"So, you think we're struggling by ourselves?" Ann asked accusingly, Tika's foot beginning to jump.

"No, I just think-"

"You think about everything else but never think to ask." She pointed at her head, her nails shaped like claws. "Never think to check-in with the person actually in charge."

"Ann-"

"I don't wanna address this in-front of company."She said paying me attention. "Let me hear from her why she's here." Tika started to talk again but Ann raised her hand, cutting her off.

"I wasn't speaking to you, I was speaking to her."

Ann was so intimidating, even with how tiny she was she still had an aura that made her feel bigger, taller, maybe even stronger. She hopped down from the table she sat on and walked up to me, staring straight into my eyes. Her eye contact was scary and made me feel inferior but like I was the only thing in the room.

"Why you here, baby?" Her tone became soft, truly catching me off guard.

"Tika told me you could give me work." I gulped down air before continuing."Easy and quick money."

"That's all you want? Just to pull weight?"

"Yes." I said confidently, hoping Ann couldn't see through my front.

"You don't look built for it, honestly." She clasped her hands together, standing straighter. "But none of us are when we start out."

"I can prove that I'm useful. I run really fast and I've always been good at math." I listed off, looking more awkward than qualified. Ann actually gave me a smile, a ghost of a laugh coming from her throat.

"You don't gotta treat this like an interview, baby." Swiping her tongue over her bottom lip."If Tika trusts you, then I have to trust her word." She gave Tika a slick smirk, Tika keeping her face neutral and her stance calm.

"I'm gonna try you out on a test run and if you do well- we'll continue to talk."

"I don't think you'll be a disappointment."

"Thank you so much for giving me a chance." I gushed, a bit of relief flushing out of me.

"Don't mention it." Ann looked at me longer- suddenly she took ahold of my chin making my heart speed up tenfold. Bringing my face closer to her's, She examined each of my features, her eyebrows scrunching together in deep thought.

"You are so pretty."She mumbled, her eyelids lowered.

"Thank you."

"I'll get out your space since I'm making you uncomfortable." Ann laughed good-naturedly but that didn't make the tension I felt leave my system.

"You aren't."

"Your body language says different." Her hand dropped to her side, and it felt as if our eyes finally broke away from one another. Ann started to talk to another girl as Tika threw her arm over my shoulder giving me a hopeful smile.

Within the crew, there was a huge sense of loyalty. Looking at everyone, I knew I wanted to belong here. I knew if I joined them that I would never be hungry or alone. I knew I would belong to an actual family.

Glancing at Ann, the one person I had to impress- a new feeling sprung up inside of me. Determination. I had to ace my test run, and prove myself and consequently not embarrass Tika.

[barnesaintdead]

Pandora's Box Chapter One

Summary: Times have changed, great heroes were gone and all that remained was wreckage and lives to start over. After an alleged attack, Bucky is taken back to the past. With nightmares still vivid in his mind, he must choose between succumbing to fear or standing before it.

Warnings: smut, angst, mentions!abuse/rape/torture, +18

Word count: +1,200

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Mutant!OC

A/N: after Endgame, another Stark Tower was built in honor of Tony and everything he has done for the world. There are lots of details about him all the way in the new Tower. Also, I'm hearing Griss's soundtrack while writing this.

The first thing she noticed when her brain woke up was how cold her body was. The warm sunlight kissed her cheeks gently, seeping under her lashes and making her eyelids flutter open to a blinding white room. Observing her surroundings, she noticed she wasn't alone. A men was sitting next to her bed, a long forgotten book in his hands and low snores coming out of his parted lips. Her entire upper body ache when she tried to sit against the headboard silently. She stayed quiet, watching dust motes travel across the room in the early morning haze. It was a chilly one, for sure. Her last memories started to appear in quick flashes trough her head. She was sleeping peacefully when the first explosion startled everyone in the building, flames already taking over almost everything in the first round. And then a second and a third, and everything was chaos and smoke and her only wish was to crumble down with the building because, fuck, it was happening all over again. The the fourth explosion came, those strong arms that were holding her tight vanished in a split second and everything she knew was the hard ground and the iron taste on her tongue.

"Good morning, sunshine", the man greets, throwing her off of her reveries. He stretched his arms up in the air, joints cracking all the way.

"Why am I here?" She asked under a troubled look. Her eyes darted to the window. From that level, all she could bring up was the Statue of Tony Stark resting above the fountain, his hand aiming at something beyond the horizon. She was in the Stark Tower.

"You know why", Sam answered. "Pandora, am I right? Like in the files?"

The girl nodded once, her slender fingers tugging to the thin fabrid that covered her legs. The moment he called her by her codename, she knew she was doomed and he was already aware of everything she was and everything that was done to her. She wondered he knew a lot more than necessary when he swinged her personal diary in his hand before throwing at her side on the bed.

"I want you to see someone... Do you think you can walk?"

Pandora nods once more and start dragging her feet off the bed's edge, startling herself by the purple marks all along her skin. It wasn't a pretty view. The first steps were difficult, like the ones of a newborn doe, she would have fallen instantly without  Sam's support on her waist. Side by side, they moved slowly towards the room next door.

Once Sam pushed the door open, her entire body tensed as if the blood in her veins had turned into ice. With her knees shaking, she stammered unconsciously:

"Zim... Zimniy s-soldat..." [Winter Soldier].

In his bed, Bucky's head moved to the side and his eyelids fluttered seconds before open slowly. His movements were lethargic by the sedatives.

"Gotov soblyudat..." [Ready to comply]. He flashes a weak smile, his voice nothing more but a growl and he focuse his blue irises on the terrified girl. "Nobody have called me that in a long time".

"Yeah. I call him asshole", Sam scoffed.

Pandora, still petrified, let a diminish laugh scape before forgetting the excruciating pain that was rushing furiously trough her body and let herself collapse against the cold floor. Images of a long lost life before her freedom takes place, filling her mind and projecting painful memories that went straight trough her heart like daggers.‎ Fear hit her hard and suddenly she is out of breath and the floor underneath her seems to disappear. Choking and trying to collect herself hysterically from the ground, she end up falling back onto Sam's grip. He hugged her tight and hid her face against his chest without hesitation, hiding her. Pandora's entire body trembled to the point of chattering teeth, her knuckles already white from tugging his shirt between her fingers.

"It's okay, darling. Nobody's gonna hurt you", Sam assured, whispering with lips touching her hair. "I promise. You can trust me, can't you? I'm here with you, nothing's gonna hurt you".

Sam had seen many post-traumatic stress atacks, more so panic ones. He knew how to deal with it. With her. She was scared and feeling unsafe and probably triggered by whatever Bucky said to her in russian, kidding or not. The first thing he did was lift them both from the ground and place her small crooked figure onto the spare bad next to the wall and covered her with the biggest blanket he could find at the moment. He watched as she started to roll herself up in a messy coccon mode.

"Don't worry, Panda. I'm gonna be here with you. Just breath, darling", Sam is now stroking long caresses across the girl's back. Bucky who had been silent trough the whole situation looked at her fondly, but there was still a hint of pain or guilt in his baby blue eyes. He knew he caused her that crisis. It was his fault. He desired to erase himself from her mind for a moment.

Almost an hour passed until Pandora was stable again. Her muscles were slowly untwining and letting her breathe properly, full deep inhales and long exhales to soothe her aching throat. Sam smiled when she looked at him with teary, but thankful eyes, but he kept his hand in motion caressing her for a while, observing how relaxed she was once she saw that were no danger. Not in him nor in the room or in Bucky's presence. She was now laying with face half buried in the sheets. looking dead into Bucky's figure like she was studying him.

"Feeling better?" Sam finally asks, taking a step back from the bed. Pandora nods and looks at him. "I need to report to Fury and get you both some food. Think you can manage to be alone here with him for a moment?"

"I guess... Yeah."

"I'll be back in a second then. Distract her, Barnes, will ya'?"

Bucky waved at him and whitin a second Sam was out of their sight. The air tensed a bit with the sudden silence, she wasn't much of a talker, neither was him, but they kept the eye contact before Bucky broke the connection to take a look outside the window.

"What happened to you?" Pandora's voice startles him, making him let out a chuckle begore putting his attention back on her. She was more mature, it was visible, there were some new scars, but still the same soft, childish features. Her question was short but complicated. He sighed.

"A lot, after Hydra. They wanted me to murder Steve, but I just couldn't finish. He broke the brainwash and after that I started to remember. When everything crumbled down, I found a place to stay in Bucharest", He lost himself in his thoughts for a moment, looking at his metal fingers. "I started a routine, everything was about remember who I was and be invisible. Then, the enemies came... Zemo, he caused a lot of problems... Thanos and the war. I turned to dust when he snapped his fingers, but Steve and the others brought us back. We fought, we won. I'm very thankful for their help. Shuri, who erased Hydra's poison from my head. I wouldn't be nothing without them, probably dead by now".

"So did you nightmares stopped?"

Bucky remembered his times under Hydra control once again, a specific moment, when he was in a cage. The girl next to him helped him sleep trough his nightmares that day. Pandora helped him even tho she was just as scared.

"Those never go away. They're always there, lurking inside my head", He laughed. "The nightmares never were about the brainwash, but about what I did when I was their puppet".

Pandora's eyes went to the ground. She understood him, her own nightmares almost drove her crazy most nights. She abused sleep pills and alcohol, but not even that made them go away. They would be always there. Her heart sinked into her chest for a second and then she heart his voice calling again.

"What about you?" He now had turned his body a bit to the side, for her to look at his front. The sheet went down a bit, showing his marked skin, so many scars in a tiny piece of him. A cold chill went down her spine.

"I was always running. Everytime something would get out of control, I just ran away to another city, then another state, and another country until I end up in that apartament".

"Get out of control...?" He lifted his eyebrow and she licked her lips.

"The things like those explosions and the fire?" She let out a faint laugh. "I'm used to that happening all time. I bring disgrace to everyone around me and that's why you should let me get out of here as soon as possible. I wouldn't want to ruin your lives."

"You mean you started the fire? You caused the explosions?" He asked.

"No. God, no. I... I didn't do anything is just... It happens around me, like I'm cursed or have this terribly bad luck", she shook her head. "I would never hurt anyone".

Outside the room, Sam and Fury listened carefully to their conversation. They new eachother from another times and leaving them alone was the best idea Sam had to show his boss that the girls wasn't a threat. Fury continued to listen while reading the girl's diary carefully while Sam got out to get the food he promised. When he got back, his boss was watching both of Hydra's best agents talking about their periods of peace and chaos with his hands befind his back.

"You hungry?" Sam asked munching on a big piece of his own cheeseburguer before handing one in the other man's direction.

Fury refused with a hand gesture and handed over her diary. He need to know nothing more, that was more than necessary.

"We're keeping her".

"Excuse me?"

"Project 001: Pandora", Fury repeated slowly, with a mischievous smirk in his face. "We're keeping her."

[kittenshift-17]

Hi I hope you're doing ok I just wanted to ask a question. What do you think of Daenerys from game of thrones,I'm sorry its really random right but I've always wanted to know.oh and those christmas stories are really great are you going to continue those or were they just a one shot ? And as always I love you and you're writing.

Christmas stories? You mean the 👀👀👀 side-eye ask-responses fics? Because they weren’t Christmas stories, so much as people sending those “inviting creators to share something in progress that they wanted to finish in 2019, but didn’t manage to” asks to me and me sharing snippets of WIPs. Eventually all of them will be completed fics and will be shared on the appropriate archives, but until then, they’re just sitting in my “In Progress” folder, waiting to be worked on.

As for you query about Dany, I’m very on the fence about her. Throughout the books and the early seasons of the TV show, she’s my least favourite character because she’s so far removed from all the other plotlines all the way over across the Narrow Sea. There are some sections in the middle where I quite liked her, and I confess that in Season 7, I was all for having her take over as Queen of Westeros.

Unfortunately, D & D ruined that. And though I can see WHY they had to play it that way from an author’s perspective (particularly since they’re not the original authors, essentially making the last couple of seasons a D & D version of fanfic, if you think about it), I didn’t like her by the end. She went too far (no matter how Cersei pushed her to get there) and honestly, she became too hell-bent on ruling the world. Early on, her acts of violence were all for the sake of rescuing the oppressed and championing freedom. She weeded out injustice and beat it back with fire and blood, and that was great. 

The continuity of that is where D & D (I beleive) were trying to take it all, but they forgot one uncomfortable thing.

When she overthrows the Khals, she rescues the men and women of the hoard and the vast number of peoples they enslave. When she overthrows the Masters of Pentos, she resuces the enslaved and downtrodden. When she overthrows the Salvers mutilating boys for their armies, she’s resucing future generations of boys from that fate. When she ‘overthrows’ Cersei, on the other hand, she rescues no one. She loses sight of doing it to protect the innocent and to help the down-trodden. Instead she roasts those very same innocent, frightened, downtrodden, terrified people of King’s Landing alive, and for what? 

Power. Revenge. 

There is a theme throughout her timeline that she defies those who look down on her and those who say no to her, and she does do ruthless things to the people who refuse to support her cause, but she was perceieved to temper it throughout those things as a champion for the weak because she herself had once been weak.

She loses sight of that when she faces Cersei. And in fairness, Cersei is a vicious cunt who deserverd far worse than was done to her throughout the series, but Dany lost it. The saying of the Targaryens being doomed to madness or greatness was supposed to fall on the line of greatness with her. Under her reign, I beleive Westeros could have been properous and happy. But D & D, just wanted to do a big scene with the dragon(s) I think. 

And okay, yes, being traded to the Dothraki for their army and treated like a common whore by Viserys made her brittle, and losing Khal Drogo hurt her deeply. Losing Viserion to the Night King, and Rhaegal to something so stupid as a lance in broad daylight when the beast could literally have flown in any direction to dodge it was just dumb. That broke her, I think. To couple it with the ‘betrayal’ of Jon’s true origins and the threat he then posed to her rule, and then losing Missandei to Cersei’s bitchiness definitely pushed her over the edge, I think. All of these things would certainly have fucked with her mental health, and it’s not unreasonable to state that she could’ve slipped into madness.

Which I suppose, is the point, in the end, isn’t it? She becomes the very monster she slayed so many times for the sake of her people, and she acts in the ways she has always done when the people in between her and her throne won’t bend the knee, and give her what she wants. The only thing that changes is that she loses sight of who is an enemy, and who is just a helpless victim.

And I empthaize with that. The longer you spend as a survivor, the less you recall the days of only being a victim. The longer you spend rising above your trauma, the less patience you have for those wallowing in their own. It becomes easy to forget that those other victims are scared and helpless and suffering, when you want them or need them to be strong, and brave, and valiant. By the time Dany reaches King’s Landing, most of her army is destroyed. Two of three dragons dead, her lover a traitor (and her nephew, ewwww) her friend captured and killed, and so all of these things could and probably should have broken her again, like the crying, broken, helpless girl who let herself be sold for an army, and raped like a helpless female dog. 

Throughout the series we watch her overcome the early trauma, and we watch the way she learns to solider on in the face of new traumas, too. They’re hurting. They’re like limbs being hacked off, I’d imagine, but she’s got to go on. She doesn’t have the luxury of breaking down in tears. She is Khaleesi. The Unburnt. The Breaker of Chains. She can’t just crumple. She’s got an army at her back relying on her strength and her guidance. 

She’s toughened, maybe a little dead inside by the end after all she loses.

So she has no patience for those victims still in the early stages of their trauma journey. The small folk of King’s Landing know suffering under Cersei, but they’ve seen everyone else who stood up to the Lannisters decimated in one way or another. Ned, beheaded. Renly, slain. Robb, beheaded. Catelyn, slain. Stannis, slain. The Tyrells, murdered. All three of Cersei’s children were killed, too, but just like Dany, she soldiered on. When all the other contenders have fallen beneath the mighty paws of the Lannister tyranny, what indiciation did any of them have that Dany would be any different? What else could they do, but follow orders or be beaten to death? Die on the outside of the gates by the hand of people claiming they want to protect you, or follow orders and scurry inside, beleiving that once again, the Lannisters will be the victors?

But Dany didn’t consider any of that, because everyone else she liberated hadn’t lived through battle after battle, war after war, watching their oppressors win. The Unsullied knew only how to follow orders, and being sold to a new Master meant doing only what they were told. The enslaved rose up against the masters because before Dany, only individuals had tried to fight back, not entire armies. When you are downtrodden and someone says, “Hey, if we all rise up, we can win” and it’s the first time anyone has tried, you are filled with naive hope and courage.

But the people of King’s Landing aren’t naive and courageous. They’d seen 5 kings rise and fall at the feet of the Lannister Queen, 6 if you count King Robert. Already, many had tried to rise up and overthrow her, and already all had failed. A new queen riding in, even on the back of a dragon, wasn’t enough to rouse them from their hard-learned slavery and acceptance. No one else had won before, so better to avoid trying again. Dany’s lack of understanding for that scenario - her unwillingness to heed what Varys and Tyrion tried to tell her to educate her about the way things worked in Westerous compared to Braavos - is ultimately what made her the monster she died as.

She refused to recall that others weren’t as brave as her; weren’t as hard-hearted as her; and she refused to recognize that the people she sought to ‘free’ had already been ‘freed’ five times over, at least, and still their tyrant queen stood tall. Dany’s impatience and her anger got the better of her thanks to the suppressed agonies she endured, and her unwillingness to see reason and understand that this time, things had to be different, was ultimately why she jumped into the role of brutal overlord doomed to die. 

I suppose, too, that when you flip the coin for madness or greatness, with only 2 Targaryens left on earth, you have to pick on, don’t you? Viserys was the mad one, and Dany the great one, but then Jon came along, and you flip it again, and to stay true to Jon’s nature throughout everything else, he must be the great one, so Dany has to be the mad one. 

So I suppose, in answer to your question on my thoughts about Danerys,  I’m... disappointed. She’s brave and brilliant and courageous in all she faces until excessive trauma makes her angry, makes her sloppy, and makes her foolish. She tries what she’s tried before and when it doesn’t work as it has every time before she throws a tantrum vile enough to end the world and to seal her fate, once and for all. I tolerated her until I liked her, and then I liked her until I didn’t. Now, I think of her as a tragic plot piece used, ultimately, to chart the course of valiant saviour to all right up until the Army of the Dead problem is resolved, a tool to batter down the walls without killing any more Starks in order to finally see Cersei dead once and for all, and then she’s tossed aside as being superfluous and in the way of the overall goal to see the Starks rise from the ashes of their destoryed family.

It’s hard to fathom in a tale with so many majoy players, but Jon Snow has always been the MAIN protagonist of the story; and everything else, including Dany, is all just circumstantial plot device to keep the story moving and to ultimately further Jon’s arc. That’s why he, alone, despite breaking every oath he took, and still trying to do what’s right, survives to the end, but gets no hero’s reward.

Based on what I know of G.R.R.M. from interviews he’s given and the overarching theme of this series as a whole, Dany’s end is fitting. You can’t stay a hero forever, you know? Eventually someone takes your hero’s crown or you become a tyrant to keep it, and someone else has to rise up and kill you, as you once rose up and slayed monsters, yourself. His whole schtick has always been that being a good person doesn’t mean you’ll get to live and doing the right thing for noble reasons will just get you killed sooner (Ned), but even those willing to do the wrong thing for the right reasons must pay their penance in the end. 

After all, valar morghulis.