#I keep talking about the romance of cannibalism so much my mother has gotten so so so tired of me (my friends are more mixed)

[forgetful-river]

Sometimes being in love is like getting your eye gored in a fit of purifying violence, sometimes it's not

[alinaandalion]

Top 10 Books of 2022

this was actually a pretty great reading year even if I fell short of some of my goals but these were the top 10 books I’ve read in 2022. 

1. Tender Is the Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica - it might be because it was something I picked up very late in the year, but this book has been burned into my brain since I read it.  it’s deeply disturbing, since the plot revolves around legalized cannibalism and the main character works at a processing plant, but it takes an unflinching look at what that reality would like without absolutely reveling it.  every time I said “this can’t get worse,” it did and there was another awful layer to peel back. but even beyond the general horror, what this book has to say about how systems swallow us all up but also the justifications we feed ourselves to continue to live in the world as it is was an absolute gut punch and an uncomfortable confrontation.  I remain absolutely obsessed.

2. The Liar’s Knot by M.A. Carrick - complete tone change from the previous book.  this one is fun.  what I find most enjoyable about this trilogy is that it loves fantasy and telling stories and leans into the setting.  so much of the conflict is based solely in decisions characters make, the secrets they keep, the ones they reveal.  anyway, if you like con artists, tarot readings mixed with magic, swashbuckling romance, sword fights with mysterious masked heroes, this is worth checking out.

3. The Justice of Kings by Richard Swan - this book was the surprise of the year for me.  I added it to my to-read list as something to try out but based on the cover, it felt like it might be trying to copy A Song of Ice and Fire (not a diss to G.R.R Martin, I love those books; not the pale imitators).  and while the book is grim, it’s definitely not trying to be a copy.  it’s written from the perspective of the main female character but from the POV of her telling her own history.  Also, Sir Konrad is amazing and a dad-shaped character.

4. Babel, Or the Necessity of Violence:  An Arcane History of the Oxford Translators’ Revolution by R.F. Kuang - I mean, this one isn’t a surprise.  I love Kuang’s writing, especially how keenly she understands the nature of violence.  if anything, I wish this book had been longer and more self-indulgent.  still, a really great book and I continue to think about it today.

5. Wrath Goddess Sing by Maya Deane - if you have gotten a little bored with all the Greek myth retellings out there, read this.  even if you haven’t, read this.  I’ve never read any retelling that is this bold and fascinating.  it did fall apart for me a little at the end, but the ride there was beyond worth it and it blew my mind. 

6. The Mothers by Brit Bennett - definitely a new favorite author.  it stayed with me long after I finished the actual book.  it grapples with a lot of difficult topics and definitely had an impact beyond just reading it and has made me think about how to tackle some things in my own writing.  and I’ll always love a book that is able to do that.

7. The Hellbound Heart by Clive Barker - what can I say, I watched the first two Hellraiser movies for the first time this year, lost my mind a bit over them, then checked this out from the library and read it in almost one sitting.  new favorite horror author, I remain obsessed and think about this book on a regular basis.

8. Calling a Wolf a Wolf by Kaveh Akbar - I still don’t know what to say about this book of poetry but I regularly find myself turning over pieces of the poems within it in my head.  it talks a lot about addiction but it doesn’t skate over the surface.  it’s amazing.  please read it.

9. A Memory Called Empire by Arkady Martine - so many books about empire are weirdly uncomplicated in the main character’s mind.  the empire is bad, their side is good, the end.  so I really loved how complicated this book made it, where the main character genuinely loves so much about the empire even as it threatens to destroy her home and consume her in the process.  very much looking forward to reading the next book in 2023.

10. Please by Jericho Brown - Jericho Brown is one of my favorite poets writing today.  The language is astounding and you have to sit with his work to fully take it in.  if you’re going to read a poet currently writing, definitely pick up one of his books of poetry.  it’s absolutely worth it.

[mysurveys]

Random Qs

Survey #4 on the Countdown to 2018!

I’m sure we all know what your name is, so what's the name of your boss?

When it comes to my nonprofit group, I'm the boss which is how I earned the nickname of Lady Boss with some friends.

Do you actually read your friends' surveys or do you just copy-paste them and fill them out yourself?

I'll read those done by my besties and close friends sometimes, but it's most likely that they got them from me.

Whenever I copy-pasta one from someone else that I don't know personally, I may read the whole thing or just parts depending on which taker I've gotten it from. Some people have more interesting answers than others.

Which is your favorite episode of I Love Lucy?

I'd rather not watch that show since I'm not that into old reruns. I never liked that one very much to begin with.

Do you consider yourself a deep thinker?

I tend to be very introspective and I'm able to analyze what others are saying and doing. I've studied behavioral science for over ten years, but I'm also an intuitive empath who has the gift of discernment.

Who're two people you're closest with?

My mother and maybe Sasuke M. or Makoto whose last name I keep forgetting. I've even gotten the last initial wrong!

Which one of those two people would you eat first if you were starving?

I would never resort to cannibalism as the Bible calls it an abominable sin.

How many red shirts do you own?

Just one that has black writing on it that says, "I'm not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing."

No one cares whether or not you believe in love at first sight, but do you believe in hate at first sight?

Duh? Prejudice exists. You can hate a black man before you know anything about him.

You just can't love someone before you know anything about them as a person. I don't understand why people can't figure this out. It's so simple.

How old will you be in 2021?

I hate even simple math since I have severe dyscalculia. This is 2017 and I'm turning 31 this year. So that means I'll be turning 35 in 2021, right?

Would you rather be tone deaf or color blind?

There are variations of each. My father has blue/green color blindness as well as trouble with higher tones. I personally have less severe blue/green blindness than he does. Certain shades look way too alike to me.

When do you think is the proper time in a relationship to give the other person your business card?

I read "relationship" and assumed it would be about love. Surveys so often use that word only to denote romance.

As far as the actual question goes, it's irrelevant to someone who's been on disability as long as I have. I wouldn't know the proper etiquette for handing out your business card, but I wouldn't be bothered by receiving such right away personally.

When you were a kid, which comic strip was your favorite?

I wasn't really into comic strips or comic books, although the exceptions were some manga.

If you could only wear a sock on one foot for the rest of your life, which foot would you choose?

I'd rather go sock-less. Wearing only one seems pointless.

How many words can you make out of the letters of your name?

My name is Leanne and if you want to play this game then you can feel free to do it yourself.

How do you feel about fake plants?

I'd rather not keep fake ones at all and I have a black thumb. Maybe I could handle a cactus?

I'd probably be able to handle a carnivorous plant like the Venus fly trap if I just educated myself on it beforehand. I can relate to it more and I know that's a weird thing to say, but I can't figure out most other plants. I understand ones that're carnivores better.

What's your obsessive compulsion?

I don't have any, thankfully. I can't even form habits since I'm an HSP, though.

Do you know the difference between the statements "We’re just dating." and "We’re together."?

You don't have to be in a relationship to just date someone. You could even be seeing multiple people. It's something you can do before jumping into an official relationship.

Being together with someone means that you've become a couple. That's more than simply dating them. If you're monogamous then you're not seeing anyone else.

When you think, do you see the words that you're thinking in your mind as if they were being written down?

I can do that if I want to, but they don't stay in my mind's eye very long. I've wondered if anyone else ever does that.

If a person's brought up speaking both Spanish and English in equal amounts and equal fluency, which language do they think in?

You would have to ask someone who's been brought up in a bilingual household. I only speak English and Japanese on a fluent level and I can say that I think in a mixture of the two most of the time. Some Japanese expressions are just more expressive.

Does it make you uncomfortable when people ask you your shoe size?

Not really, but my size varies depending on the brand and sometimes I'll buy men’s shoes in a different size.

Would you feel guilty about cheating on your taxes if you got away with it?

I would never do that in the first place, but I would definitely feel guilty if I had. I do have a conscience.

A genie gives you three wishes, but what do you think he did with his time while he was in that lamp?

I'm guessing the inside of a genie lamp is just an Arabic-themed room like in fictional accounts. You would have to assume that it's simply lived in like a home, so maybe he watches cat videos online and frequents Twitter. Who knows.

If you had braces, would you put little diamonds on your brackets and call them your grill?

No, I wouldn't.

You have 24 hours to live, so what're you going to wear?

Who cares.

Which is worse, someone blowing cigarette smoke in your face or kissing someone who has dip in their mouth?

The latter sounds worse to me, but both options are disgusting.

Had you ever answered any of these questions before?

I don't think I've done this exact survey and yet I've seen some similar questions before. I've talked about not having obsessive-compulsive behaviors and disliking fake plants for instance.

Have you ever thought about getting your lip pierced?

I don't want to get any piercings whatsoever for religious reasons.

Who were you with last night?

I was alone in bed most of the night.

What woke you up this morning?

I got up at almost one in the afternoon without being very coherent. Then I plopped back in bed until it was almost five. I had just gotten off a bout of insomnia, though. That always throws me for a loop.

Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor?

I haven't. I've fainted in a kitchen, but it had nothing to do with any substance.