#I literally have never had a celebrity crush or fantasized about a hot person

[sanchosammy]

It wasn’t a mistake.

Description: You and Frankie have been best friends for years, which is why you’re shocked to wake up in his bed after a night of drinking together. Too scared he’ll push you away after this, you push him out first. Too bad the two of you are forced to deal with your feelings on a camping trip with the guys.

Warnings: Cursing, talks of sex, drinking, I think that’s all?

NOTE: This isn’t my best work, I am not going to lie. but it is a fun read if you’re interested. Enjoy babes!

Word Count: 5,038.

“Fuck,” You moaned out. The pain from your splitting headache made for a rude awakening from your slumber. A familiar smell of cologne surrounded you as you breathed in, and a coolness lingered over your exposed skin causing you to stir further.

Your eyes slowly lifted open as you looked around your surroundings. Frankie’s bedroom... 

Oh God, Frankie’s bedroom. You noticed his arm loosely hugging your waist as he slept. The alcohol filled memories started to flood your brain and the night came back to you.

You found out about your promotion yesterday, which was kind of a big deal to you. It was something you worked your ass off for and to be recognized with a raise was everything you wanted. The boys wanted to celebrate with you truly, but it all fell through. Everyone had something come up last minute.

It wasn’t something taken personally by you, you didn’t know about the promotion until the last minute yourself. However, that did not stop Francisco Morales from wanting to celebrate this moment with you. The two of you were the closest out of everyone, a friendship that was filled with so many stupid stories and wonderful memories.

With the pictures to prove it.

Frankie was there no matter the situation. The man simply had balance to him, he would be there when you needed some to wrap their arms around you for comfort but he would also spend his weekend helping you with house projects. He does it all. The problem was he was too good of a man. Which left you madly in love with him. It started off throughout your time in the army together. You had only grown closer as time went on. Him and you spending more time together than anyone else within the last three years. 

You thought over the night before to remember how you found yourself in Frankie’s bed. The two of you had never even kissed before, how did it escalate into sex so fast? 

You carefully sat up trying not to disturb Frankie’s sleeping figure. The side of his face was pushed against his pillow as his arm hung around you. He looked so peaceful when he slept. A small smile formed as you noticed his bedhead, you loved his shaggy hair.

You looked around the room as you once again thought over the memories. Frankie wanted to celebrate the promotion no matter how much you told him it wasn’t a big deal. He knew you wanted to acknowledge your hard work deep down so he pushed on anyway. It started off with a small cheers with a couple of beers, and that turned into full blown drinking after Frankie decided to teach you an old drinking game he played as a teenager.

Truthfully, it was a simple game. You needed a shot glass and a bottle cap. The both of you had to take turns attempting to get the bottle cap into the shot glass from a distance, and if you missed then you had to drink. And if one of you actually managed to get the cap into the glass, the other person had to chug their drink.

The both of you knew you were too old to be drinking like this, but the game became a friendly competition between the two of you. The small example round turning into a full blown game and after a while the both of you were equally fucked up.

You don’t know why the mood shifted. At some point Frankie’s touch seemed to light a fire on your skin, and he must’ve felt it too because he was the first one to lean in for the kiss. Which somehow turned into the two of you having sex in his bedroom. You could remember it and you knew Frankie would too. The both of you knew how to handle your alcohol, but the judgement of sleeping with your best friend seemed to slip away with a little help from liquid courage.

Your cheeks burned at the details flashing through your mind. You had fantasized about the idea of sleeping with Frankie countless times, seeming you’ve been in love with him so long, but the real thing was so much better than you could’ve expected. He was focused on you the entire time and dammit… Francisco was a giving lover. 

The picture of him between your legs was now burned in your mind. A shame lingered behind though. You slept with your best friend. How could you do something so stupid? You managed to not openly flirt with the man for over several years and it all came crashing down after the both of you knocked back a few drinks? 

The realization of how this changed everything creeped in. The two of you probably wouldn’t be the same after this. From the silence of the house you could hear your heart shatter if you listened hard enough. All of your time together stripped away from you within a night. 

Your eyes burned at the sudden presence of hot tears. You just wanted to leave at this point, it was overwhelming. How could something feel so right, and somehow end up being so wrong? 

You shifted from the bed removing his arm as gentle as you could. Finding your clothes scattered on the floor and you hurriedly put them on. You were for sure a little hungover, but you’d have to pick something up on the way home because you didn’t have the balls to face him and have the ‘This was a mistake’ talk. You just couldn’t, it would absolutely crush you.

You closed his door and made sure to lock it behind you. The sun was too bright today as you forced yourself into the car faster than usual. The light from the sky and your sudden sky rocket of emotion causing the headache to feel so much worse.

As you backed out of his driveway, you found tears streaming down your face silently. You weren’t one to just burst into tears but this felt like a death suddenly. A death in friendship and a passing of the best part of your life so far. You looked at his house once more before pulling off and heading home.

+

The phone beeped again. You looked at it across the room before turning the TV louder. At this point you simply ignored your phone at all costs. It had been a week since you last saw Frankie, and to be honest you’ve been purposefully ignoring the man. When he did finally wake up after you left, there was no hesitation on his end to call you but you didn’t answer. And then there were several texts throughout the week. 

You tried not to read them. A few you happened to catch a glimpse of because out of a sickened curiosity you wondered if he hated you after what happened. The few that you caught said ‘(Y/N), call me please.’, ‘Can we talk about what happened?’, ‘Please talk to me.’. 

In your mind, all Frankie wanted to talk about was how this wouldn’t happen again. That it was a mistake, or maybe that drunken mistakes happen and he didn’t see you in that way. No matter what he had to say, it was somehow going to hurt you and you couldn’t bring yourself to face it. You were brave in the direct aim of live bullets shooting straight at you on operations, and somehow you found yourself being such a coward at the idea of emotional pain.

The phone rang out again and you found yourself annoyed at this point. Not at the fact Frankie was attempting to reach you all week, but that you were being forced to face emotional baggage of your failed love life. You pulled yourself off the couch and snatched the phone off the counter to silence it, that was until you saw the caller ID. 

You swiped to accept and put the phone to your ear. A part of you was nervous Frankie had told him, but you knew he wasn’t that kind of guy. He didn’t kiss and tell, or so you hoped so. 

“Hey Santiago!” 

“Hey, where you been cariño? You’re usually blowing up my phone more.” He teased you, but he was serious somewhat about the question.

You talked to all of the guys throughout your week, some more than others but that was kind of your thing nonetheless. All of you left the army with a brotherhood, and though they weren’t saps about it. Those boys were emotionally attached to you, and somewhat even adored you.

You sighed out a huff pulling some excuse out your ass about work and the promotion. He brushed the topic forward to what he really called for, “This isn’t going to be a problem for the trip, right?

You paused in your spot as you reviewed his words in your mind… Fuck, the camping trip. Your silence wasn’t the answer Pope wanted to hear. 

All of you planned out this camping trip so everyone could meet up somewhere that wasn’t a bar. It was some idea you had thrown out carelessly one night, and you were actually excited when everyone came around to the idea pretty fast. Even old grumpy ass Tom was willing to join in after a little persuading of drinking beers in the woods away from all his stress and worries. Needless to say, that sold him pretty easy.

However, this was before you drunkenly hooked up with your best friend. You ignored Frankie all week and the trip was in less than three days. You couldn’t possibly face him for several days in the literal woods without any escape from your embarrassment. No, absolutely not.

“I don’t think I can, Santi… I’m going to be pretty piled up with work now.” You lied. You felt awful doing so, but you lied your ass off.

“Listen, you’re not getting out of this trip unless you’re dead or kidnapped.” Yeah, that sounded like Santiago. You tried to cut in with a but before he continued, he brushed off your plea to escape this. “You’re not cancelling on us, (Y/L/N). I don’t care if I have to pull you out of bed Saturday morning, you’re coming with us.”

Fuck me. You have to be kidding me. You internally groaned.  “Alright, alright! No need to threaten me, sheesh. I’ll be ready.”

In much Santiago style, he teased you with a “Don’t pretend like you don’t like it,” which pulled a chuckle out of you in response as you rolled your eyes.

You said your goodbyes before hanging up the phone. The home screen goes back to reveal the five missed text messages and two missed calls from Frankie from this week. You guiltily put your phone back down to once again pretend you didn’t see the unopened messages from him.

You had no idea how you were going to get through this trip without wanting to throw yourself off a cliff. This was about to be torture.

+

You pulled into Frankie’s driveway noticing several men gathered around a van, all of them filled with laughter about something. All of you pitched in to rent a travel van instead of driving two separate cars. Unsure on who decided that bright idea because six of you in a van sounded like possibly the best and worst experience all in one.

The group turned towards you as you shut the car door behind you. “Finally, the pretty one has arrived.” You chirped in as a joke. Will replied before anyone else had a chance to, “Oh please, you know that’s Pope’s title.”

You would’ve smacked him on the arm jokingly, but Will picked you up in a bear hug before you could. You hadn’t seen him in nearly two months, and so the hug was extra special this time. You laughed in his tight hold before he released you back on your feet.  You made sure to hug the rest of the guys as you always did.

The comfort of their hugs is something money couldn’t buy.. After you hugged Tom you noticed Frankie wasn’t around. As awful as it sounded, a part of you hoped he would cancel out on the trip because of the awkwardness between the both of you.

“Catfish is inside, he’ll be out in a second.” Will commented as he noticed your wandering eyes. You just nodded before going back to your car to pull out the cooler. Benny followed behind to help without being asked. 

You purchased half of the food for the trip. Everyone had agreed to pitch money in for different parts of the trip. Food, supplies, gas, and so forth. You pulled your backpack from the backseat before locking the doors, fully ready to start your little adventure.

“Hey,” Frankie’s voice came from behind you causing you to jump. You turned to look at him before mumbling a quiet hey back. You noticed how he looked at you in a way that seemed like he was studying your face rather than simply looking at it. His brown eyes scanning over your features.

You knew he wanted to say something about your disappearance the past week. You could see it on his face. He was fully ready to confront the situation, and he would’ve if your mutual friends weren’t standing behind him.

You looked at each other silently for a moment. Frankie was looking at you like a kicked animal, and he felt like one too. The emotional and physical distance you placed confused and hurt him more than you knew.

You shifted your stare past him to break the uncomfortable eye contact only to find Santiago watching the moment unfold. You pushed past Frankie without a word before heading to the van.

Normally, in any situation, you had unspoken rights to sit beside Frankie. It was just an unofficial rule that everyone naturally followed by now, and that’s probably why Tom and Santiago stared at you suspiciously as you crammed yourself in the back seat with Will instead.

The hurt in Frankie’s face wasn’t something you were blind to. He sat down with a huff coming from his chest as he found a spot in front of you beside Ben. The whole situation was becoming ridiculous and you knew that, but you couldn’t find the strength to talk it out with him. You found it so much easier to avoid the situation completely as selfish as it was.

Will wrapped his arm around you and snickered, “Looks like I stole your girl, fish.”

You cringed in response to his words. Frankie crossed his arms as he adjusted in his seat. If someone didn’t know Frankie well, it seemed like he just ignored the statement completely. A joke that he didn’t find funny possibly. However, you could read his body language. His shoulders remained tight as they often did when he was stressed out.

You wanted to shrink under the vision of Tom who looked at you from the sun visor mirror. It was only a small moment of eye contact before he lifted the visor back up. This was going to be a long three days… 

+

The rest of the car ride wasn’t terrible. The conversation moved to different topics like Benny’s upcoming fight, which you promised to go to. Sunset was already in motion once you arrived at the location and so the six of you carried stuff down the trail as a team.  It kind of reminded you of the past and it was a little heart warming of a thought.

You all agreed on a spot that was far out from the other campers. It could have been the bitterness of a grumpy old man but none of you wanted to deal with people on this trip. It was meant to be total isolation with friends.

“Wait a minute, what’s this?” You asked as you picked up the box. A tent labeled for four to six people. No, he did not. “Will, you seriously expect everyone to sleep in the same tent for three days?”

All eyes shifted to Will. Tom letting out a dramatic huff with a ‘isn’t that fucking great.’ and everyone else let out some sort of complaint at the thought of being squished together for several days.

“What?” Will shrugged as he pulled the box from your hands. He walked back over to where the tent was supposed to go  soon as he snickered out. “You guys scared I’m gonna cuddle you or some shit?”

You rolled your eyes. “No, I’m more scared you’ll get the wrong idea. I don’t think you’re our type, sorry Ironhead.”

The joke earned a few chuckles from the rest of the guys. Will hardly looked over at you as he replied, his focus remained too busy on pulling out the tent materials. “Apparently nobody’s your type. I mean, seriously, when was the last time we’ve seen Ghost date somebody?”

Your face felt warm from embarrassment. He wasn’t wrong though, it had been nearly two years since you’ve been on an actual date. Tom chuckled as he looked up from the little travel grill he was setting up for dinner “He’s got you there. You batting for the other team or something, (Y/N)?”

Everyone pretended to continue their tasks but you could feel their attention on you. You handed him the supplies for dinner as you mumbled out, clearly unhappy by the question “No, I just… haven’t found someone is all.”  

A certain pair of eyes were burning in the back of your head. A pain in Frankie’s heart as he heard the words. It was not only a confirmation that you regretted the week before, but that you weren’t interested in him at all. He wanted to go home already, this was a stupid idea.

There was a weird shift in the air before Will returned to the original topic at hand. “There’s another tent over there. Walmart only had two left in the camping section,” 

And sure enough there was. The second tent was much smaller and by the time you helped finish setting them both up, you realized one of them would only fit two people inside. You fell back into the chair looking at the work you accomplished in the thirty minutes. 

“So, who is sleeping in the peasant tent?” You joked.

“You and Frankie.” Santi commented casually as he helped Tom. The both of them focused on the burger’s he attempted to cook on the small travel grill. Frankie watched you to see your reaction.

“What? Why us?” You mumbled popping the top off your beer. 

Santi continued “Why not? The two of you have already shared a bed before at the rental house. That is unless you’re trying to sneak me into your tent, (Y/N).” He winked before looking back at the food. He flirted mindlessly but it was never serious with Pope, he saw you as a sister at the end of the day.

 “Frankie it is then.” You laughed but inside you wanted to die. You had to sleep next to Frankie for three nights after the awkward tension of sleeping together. What did you do so wrong in the world, you wondered.

Time had passed by pretty quick. Everyone was full from dinner and sitting around the fire with a beer. You found yourself next to Will once again. At this point it was simply to avoid putting your chair next to Frankie to put some distance between the two of you. 

Benny was talking about some girl he was seeing for the last two months. “Yeah, I don’t know. I don’t think it’s going to work out.” He sipped his beer as he stared into the fire.

“What, why?” You asked.

“I think she’s more into the idea of hooking up more than anything.” He shrugged. 

You hummed in acknowledgment before Tom chuckled. “I can’t believe you’re complaining about having sex with someone.”

“Leave him alone, Benny is a teddy bear. He needs a little more care with his lovin’” You mumbled with a teasing smile as you pulled your jacket tighter around you. Benny let out a small ‘whatever’ while laughing, not caring to explain himself further.

“Hey Fish, whatever happened to that girl you were seeing?” Tom looked over at him and everyone followed the action to watch Frankie now.

He looked a little surprised at the sudden attention. When the conversation wasn’t on him, he liked to sit back and listen in silence for the most part. He tended to be a quiet person like that, not wanting to put forth too much.

He shook his head as he looked back down at the fire. His words coming out nonchalant and not interested in the topic, “Tina? That was over two years ago.” 

“No, not that one.” Tom said without much thought. Frankie stiffened as the realization washed over him. He never thought the situation would be brought to light. Tom continued on, “That one hookup a couple of months ago. You two didn’t have anything going on?”

Frankie found himself frozen under your sudden stare on him. His eyes caught yours, and he wanted to die in his seat.

It was a mindless one night stand… That happened twice, funny enough. It was the one thing he never mentioned to you in fear it would ruin his future chance. The whole thing happened seven months ago. Someone close to him passed suddenly and he wanted to forget it for a moment, and a woman he knew from high school happened to be in the bar two weekends in a row. 

“You never told me about that.” You tried to sound uninterested, but the look in your eyes spoke loudly. 

He cleared his throat. The ability to say anything helpful in this situation left him, and he just looked at the bottle in his hand. “It was a mistake anyway.” He said before pressing his lips to the top of the bottle and swallowing a mouthful.

You didn’t know why you were this upset. You sat miserable watching Frankie avoid your stare. 

Your jaw tight from anger building up inside. Not only were you hurt by him keeping secrets, but that wasn’t the part that hurt the most. Jealousy had washed over like some sort of fire. A painful and filled with an unstoppable burning inside. 

“Whatever, I’m going to go piss.” You muttered under your breath as you walked away from the men. You just wanted to be alone and away from him.

Santi shook his head as he stood up from his chair, “You’ve really done it now, Fish.” 

“What is that supposed to mean?” Frankie muttered as he crossed his arms and leaned into his chair hoping to sink into the ground.

Santiago ignored him as he followed you into the woods. He knew this was just some lame excuse to walk away from the situation. If sexual tension was ever in the air, the first person to find it would be Pope. He knew what was going on with the two of you, he figured it out after spending the day watching the both of you interact.

“So, when did you and Frankie sleep together?” 

You jumped at the sound of his voice. Santi matched with your now slowing steps as the both of you stopped completely. Far enough out of view from the boys. You recovered from the small scare before rolling your eyes, “What are you talking about Pope?” 

He chuckled with a small smirk on his face. The moon was the only reason you could see his face considering you forgot your flashlight in your hurry. “Oh, come on. You don’t think I know?”

You considered not answering because you didn’t want to admit out loud. The situation is humiliating enough already. A small sigh left your lips before you nodded in confirmation, your tone sounding defeated. “Alright, yeah. We slept together last week, but we were pretty drunk… It was a mistake.”

“I don’t think it was.” Pope commented as he found a tree to lean against. He watched you for a moment before continuing. “I know this isn’t my place to say this, but… Somebody needs to because Frankie won’t grow a pair. You know the real reason him and Tina broke up?”

You shrugged, “Something about not liking me around.”

He chuckled, “Yeah, that was a part of it.” You watched as he chewed on his lip for a moment. He wasn’t nervous by any means, but deep in thought about what he was about to reveal. “They were in some argument one night, she asked him if he loved you… And he couldn’t say no.”

“What?” You were left stunned. Your mouth felt dry as you processed the information. 

Santi walked over laying a hand on your shoulder, “I’m telling you, (Y/N). It wasn’t a mistake.” He patted your shoulder as he walked past you and continued back to the campsite.

The talk was short and sweet, but it left you more confused than before. Did Frankie actually love you? He mentioned she didn’t like you in the past, but you didn’t know that was the reason. What if Frankie really stayed single this long because he was trying to find a chance with you?

You walked back in silence to the spot you came from. Frankie focusing on you as you walked into view before sitting down again. Nobody mentioned the situation with Santi, or how long you had been gone. It wasn’t worth ruining the conversation over. 

You found yourself leaning on Will’s shoulder sleepily. The chatter of friends filling your ears as you sat there quietly. You didn’t know if it was the emotions draining you or the day of travel. The longer the night went on you found yourself more and more tired.

You closed your eyes to rest them. It was supposed to be a second, but it must’ve been much longer because you opened them again and you were safely in the tent now.  You could tell Frankie was in the tent, his body as far away from you as possible as he slept. When did you fall asleep? When did everyone call it a night? You wondered silently.

You shivered in the drop of temperature. You didn’t think it would be this cold tonight, the weather throughout the day was so warm on your skin and now you had goosebumps. 

“Are you cold?” Frankie’s quiet voice scared you. He shifted from his side onto his back as he looked over at you.

“Shit, you scared me.” You let out a quiet laugh before clearing your throat awkwardly, your voice thick with sleep. “Yeah, I’m sorry. Go back to sleep.”

He paid no attention to your comment as he moved his extra blanket on you instead. You attempted to make out his features as he moved to lay back down in his spot away from you, the darkness of the tent made it impossible though. A moment passed as you listened to the sound of his quiet breathing.

You swallowed hard trying to settle your nerves before speaking up in a whisper. “I’m sorry by the way.”

“For what?” He asked, turning his face towards yours. He wished he could see your beautiful face.

“Everything… I shouldn’t have avoided you, you know?” 

He heard you, but he didn’t reply. The soft sound of crickets outside filled your ears instead. You decided to continue even if it wasn’t the ideal location to do so. “Do you regret sleeping with me?” 

“No…” His voice croaked from whispering. He cleared his throat after a bit before asking “Do you?”

“No,” You admit and although you couldn’t see it, a small smile formed on his face. A chance of hope flashing through his eyes. 

“Can I tell you something?” You breathed out.

“Yeah, of course.” 

Frankie stiffened when he felt your hand brush against his. When he realized you were reaching out to hold it, his fingers automatically linked between yours and he squeezed your hand softly.

“Don’t laugh at me, okay?” Your voice broke with emotion before you let out a breathy chuckle. His thumb subconsciously began to stroke your hand in an attempt to soothe you. “I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you since the first time we went on a helicopter ride.”

He stopped to recall the memory. Both of you were still in the army together when Frankie wanted to take you on your first flight. You were so nervous in the beginning, he had spent half the flight talking to keep you distracted. “That was over five years ago.” Frankie commented, the shock was noticeable in his voice. 

“Yeah, I know.” You laughed.

Frankie moved closer to you. His movements slow and careful in case you asked him to stop. He was leaning above you now, you didn’t realize how close he was until you could feel the warmth of his breath. Your fingers moved to run through his hair similar to the way they did the night you slept together. He was hesitant to move in as if he wasn’t sure if he should kiss you, so you leaned in pressing your lips to his. 

The kiss was slow and drawn out this time as if Frankie was soaking in the moment. Unlike the night before when the two of you were nearly falling over each other. He pulled away pressing his forehead against yours “I’ve known since the time you made me a cake for my birthday.”

“Frankie, that was our first year in the Army?” 

He chuckles as he pecks your lips, repeating the same line you used, “Yeah, I know.”

“Why did we wait this long?” You asked out loud. Your arms wrapped around him before he pulled you down to lay on his chest instead. His body heat warming you up within seconds.

He shook his head. He should’ve done this so long ago. A smile settled on his face as the realization settled in he finally got his girl.

[hopeworldfan]

dress

summary: carve your name into my bedpost, ‘cause i don’t want you like a best friend, only bought this dress so you could take it off.

pairing: jimin/reader

word count: 5k+

rating: 18+

genre: smut, fluff, angst, bestfriend!au, friends to lovers, college!au

warning: smut, mild assault, cunnilingus, jimin is a tease

a/n: YES a taylor swift song inspired this, NO i don’t want to hear any criticisms of my music choices

You knew you should have stopped drinking after your third shot of tequila. But it was a Saturday night and you had aced two of your exams that week, so you were celebrating! Plus, your girlfriends were hyping you up so who were you to say no?  

“Whoo!” You shouted, slamming the shot glass down on the bar as your girlfriends cheered. Yeah, you were drunk drunk.

“(y/n)!” Someone shouted, slurring just as much as you and you whipped your head around, squealing when you laid eyes on your best friend.

“Chimchim! When’d you get heeeeeere?” You slurred, wobbling over to him and collapsing into his arms, giggling.

“Dunno!” Jimin laughed, wrapping his arms around you and spinning around. You were both too drunk to remember that you literally arrived together since you lived together.

The two of you had been best friends since your freshman year of college. You sat next to him during that hellish 7:30 am lecture and bonded over wanting to literally die and laughing about how the teacher sounded like Forrest Gump. It wasn’t long before you went halfsies on a little two-bedroom one bath apartment and the rest was history.

“You look s’hot tonight!” You shouted into his ear, making sure he could hear you over the booming music. He always looked hot, but you weren’t going to say that no matter how drunk you were.

The thing was, you had a giant crush on your best friend. He was so sweet, funny, caring, and unbelievably hot. You accidentally walked in on him in the shower one time and couldn’t get the image out of your head for weeks. No man should look that good.

However, he was your best friend and that was something you cherished more.

“S’do you!” He shouted and you both giggled.

What you didn’t know what that he had a giant crush on you. He had since the 7:30 lecture, but you were oblivious to his advances and before he knew it you were calling him your best friend; and well, he cared about you so much he was just happy being by your side. Then the two of you were living together and that only made it stickier. Especially that one time he walked in on you masturbating and couldn’t look you in the eye for weeks without blushing.

“Lesh dance!” You shrieked, grabbing your friend’s toned arm and dragging him onto the dance floor. The two of you made absolute fools of yourselves, but it didn’t matter because you were only focused on each other.  

Later that night the two of you were stumbling back into your apartment, giggling and trying to hush each other at the same time.

“Oh god I’m drunk.” You groaned, turning to lock the door before breaking into another round of giggles. You were definitely a giggly drunk and Jimin thought it was adorable as fuck.

You started stumbling to the bathroom, trying desperately to pull the strappy top you were wearing over your head, but only succeeding in getting horrendously tangled in it.

“Jimiiiiiiiiiin.” You whined and your best friend came to the rescue, like always.

“You are r’diclus.” He slurred before laughing and fumbling with you top before getting it over your head.

“Thanks Chimchim.” You breathed before meeting his eyes. Both of you were suddenly aware that you were now very much shirtless, and the lacy bra you were wearing was more than a little provocative. Hey, you were already ready for the unknown.

Jimin swallowed hard. He was drunk, he knew he was drunk, but god you looked so fucking good. Your cheeks were flushed from the alcohol, your hair already a mess, and now you were standing in front of him in that lacy little bra that he wanted to rip off.

“Jimin?” You whispered, entranced by the intense look on his face. God, he was so fucking attractive. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the years of pining, but you suddenly wanted nothing more than him all over you.

It was a bad idea. You were best friends, that friendship was so important, but holy fuck. You were just the right amount of drunk to not care about whether it was a bad idea or not.

“Jimin,” You started, slightly out of breath. “Kiss me.”

“Are you sure?” He asked, eyes dilated from the alcohol.

“Yes.”

You didn’t have to ask twice before his mouth was on yours. His kiss was needy, begging, desperate and you moaned when he bit your bottom lip. He took the opportunity to shove his tongue into your mouth, deepening the kiss. The bathroom counter harshly pressed against your back and you winced at the sharp pain. Jimin responded by reaching down, roughly grabbing your hips, and hiking you up so you were sitting on the counter.

You instinctively spread your legs and Jimin slid right between them, rubbing his hands up and down your thighs. Your arms were wrapped around his neck before sliding down his chest, tugging at his shirt. He chuckled against your mouth before pulling back and removing the fabric from his body. You ogled at his chiseled body, reaching forward to run your hands along his toned chest.

He flexed under your fingers and shivers raced up your spine. His mouth was on your neck in the next moment and the breathy moans slipped out before you could stop him. The last things you remembered was clinging onto his body as he walked the two of you into his bedroom.

The first thing you felt when you woke up was pure bliss. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt so at peace. There was a surprising lack of a hangover considering how much you remembered drinking last night (and no doubt what you didn’t remember.) It wasn’t until an arm tightened around your waist that you felt the panic.

What the fuck.

More important. Who the fuck?

You usually weren’t one for drunken one-night stands, though it wasn’t completely unheard of. It was never so bad that you couldn’t even remember the person you slept with.

As carefully as you could, to not disturb the other person, you turned your neck, curious and a bit scared about just who you could see.  

It took everything in you not to make a sound when Jimin’s sleeping face was the one that greeted you.

What the fuck.

Holy fucking shit.

Ohhhhhhhhhhh no.

You had slept with Jimin.

And you knew it wasn’t a ‘we fell asleep cuddling’ because the both of you were very much naked and you could feel the soreness in your lower body. Fuck. Had the two of you really been that drunk?

The idea hit you like a lightning bolt. If you hadn’t woken up with Jimin, you might not have remembered that the two of you even slept together. Maybe Jimin wouldn’t remember. Or maybe he would just think it was one of those awkward dreams where you had sex with your friend.

As carefully as you possibly could, you slid out of his grip, praying to every god in existence that he wouldn’t wake up. Your legs almost gave out on you when you got to your feet. Jesus Christ, you ached. Jimin hadn’t been gentle apparently.  

You quietly grabbed your clothes off his floor, eyes widening when you saw your ripped panties. Huh.

Confident that you left no traces behind, you gently padded to your room, only relaxing when your door was closed.

Fuck, you thought the whole ‘getting drunk and sleeping with your best friend’ only happened in movies. Sure, you’d been fantasizing about your best friend for months, but you never would have acted on it.  

You happened to glance in the mirror before pulling on a big t-shirt and you instinctively clenched your legs together when you noticed the bruises in the shape of fingers on your waist, the hickeys trailing along your collarbone, the sex hair you had, jesus, it was the worst you had ever had.

Flashes from the night before popped into your head, Jimin leaning over you, a sheen of sweat covering his body, his hair sticking to his head. Jimin between your legs. Jimin a moaning mess as you rode him.

Fuuuuuuuuuck.

You made sure your door was locked before crawling into your bed and digging through your nightstand until you found your handy dandy vibrator.  

Jimin woke up with a smile on his face, not something that usually happened. It faltered when he realized you weren’t in bed with him anymore. When had you gotten out of bed?

Maybe you were just using the bathroom.

He sighed before using his arms to prop his head up and smiling as memories from the night before played through his head. Jimin was a lot better at holding his liquor than you were so he had sobered up rather quickly. He was glad. It gave him the ability to truly appreciate your body, to give you what you deserved.

And jesus, you were even better than he ever imagined. None of his fantasies did you justice.

When the minutes ticked by and you didn’t join him in bed, he decided to see what was up. He slid on a pair of grey sweatpants just for decency before looking for you. He grinned when he saw you in the kitchen, wearing a pair of sweatpants and a big t-shirt with your hair in a messy bun, standing in front of the stove with a spatula in your hand.

God, if he could wake up to that every morning, he would be the happiest man in the world.

“Good morning.” He whispered from behind as he started to slide his hands around your waist.

You jumped about a foot in the air when you felt his breath on your ear and his arms wrapping around your waist.

“What’s wrong?” He asked when you whipped around, dancing out of his grip.

“Nothing!” You squeaked, willing your blush to go away and trying your best to keep your eyes from wandering to his bare chest. “You just scared me is all.”

“Last night was amazing.” Jimin smiled and you froze. Did he remember? Or was he referring to the partying aspect? You didn’t want to look like an idiot if he was talking about the partying. Best to just play dumb, nothing could go wrong there.

“Was it?” You laughed, turning back to work on the eggs you were making. “I don’t remember anything after I took my third shot of tequila.”

You were lying. It was a lie. You remembered almost all of it, some things were still fuzzy, but you didn’t want to ruin your friendship with Jimin, and you were scared that’s what would happen if both of you remembered last night. What you had was good, it was great. There was no need to complicate it.

“Oh,” Jimin replied, taking a step back.

You didn’t remember? You didn’t remember that the two of you had literal hours of mind-blowing sex? You didn’t remember the hushed ‘i love you’ he had said like a prayer? You didn’t remember the ‘i love you too’ you chanted?

“Yeah,” he started with a forced laugh. “I don’t remember anything after the club either.”

Things were awkward between the two of you, and you hated it. You tried so hard to pretend everything was normal, but every time you looked at him your mind would flash back to that night. You couldn’t even look at your best friend without getting horny as fuck, which made doing stuff with him extremely difficult.

Jimin wasn’t faring any better. Any time you bent down in front of him, every time you walked around the apartment without a bra and he saw the outline of your nipples, every time you did anything all he wanted to do was fuck you into oblivion.

But it was more than sex obviously. He was so in love with you. He wanted to be able to hold you, to kiss you, to just touch you, not even in a sexual way. He wanted to absentmindedly drag his fingers across your skin, to lay with you wrapped in his arms, to wake up in the morning and you be the first thing he saw.  

It was torture to have to pretend everything was normal between the two of you.

“You did what?” Your closest friend (only second to Jimin), Rose screeched when you confessed the messy situation you were in.

“Oh my god be quiet.” You pleaded, burying your face in your hands.

“Oh my god, I can not believe you. You and Jimin finally fuck and you pretend that you don’t remember any of it?”

“I didn’t know what else to do! I don’t want to ruin our friendship.” You defended.

Rose scoffed. “(y/n), you have been in love with that boy for god knows how long and I wasn’t going to say anything, but it’s so obvious that he’s in love with you too, the both of you are just fucking idiots.”

“You’re being ridiculous, he’s not in love with me.”  

You friend just rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “Puh-lease. Ask literally anyone who’s seen the two of you together. The reason you don’t get hit on at parties is because everyone thinks you guys are already dating.”

You did always wonder why no one ever hit on you. It was a little damaging to your ego.

“So what if we look like a couple, that doesn’t mean he’s in love with me.” You pointed out.

“He is. You should see the way he looks at you, it’s honestly gross. I would bet everything I own on it.” Before you had time to really think about your friends’ words, she changed the subject. “But more importantly, how good was the sex.”

You groaned. “It was so good.”

“I always knew Jimin would be good in bed, that cute face is a disguise. Also, both of you have to come to my birthday party on Saturday.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

You were going to change. You looked ridiculous. You couldn’t believe you let Rose talk you into buying the little strip of fabric that called itself a dress.

It barely covered your ass! And it was so tight it left nothing to the imagination. She said there was no way Jimin would be able to keep his hands off of you. Why were you even trying to seduce him? That went against everything you were trying to do.

You were going to change.

Before you could pull the garment over your head there was a knock on your door. “We’re gonna be late (y/n).”

Fuck.

With a big sigh, you opened the door, not meeting Jimin’s eyes.

He was glad you weren’t looking at his face because he couldn’t control the way his eyes widened, and his mouth literally dropped open the slightest bit.

Holy fuck. You looked so fucking sexy it should have been illegal. He wanted nothing more than to rip that skimpy black dress right off and ravage you. He had to use every ounce of self-control in him to not pop a boner.

It was going to be a long night.

Usually, when the two of you went out, you rarely separated from each other. You were linked together the whole time. Tonight though, Jimin was nowhere to be found.

“Where’s your lover boy?” Rose asked loudly, giggling as she sipped on the margarita in her hand. “You look hot as fuck! Do you wanna sleep with me tonight? Because I totally would.”

“You are entirely too drunk.” You laughed, grabbing the drink from her hand.

She pouted before whining. “C’mon (y/n), it’s my birthday, lemme get smashed.”

“You’re ridiculous.” You sighed before handing the drink back to her.

“You need to drink! You’ve only had like one drink in the past hour!”  

You sighed before glancing around, looking for any sign of your friends but not having any luck. “Just not feeling like it tonight Rose, besides, it looks like someone’s gonna need to take care of you tonight.”

“I’m grown! I can take care of myself, go have fun!” Your friend shouted before joining a group of girls and leaving you alone at the bar.

Great. You were a loser sitting alone at a bar in a way too tight dress.

“Hi, can I buy you a drink?” A deep voice said from beside you and you whipped your head around, an attractive guy standing at your side, a charming smile on his face.

He was cute.

“Ah sorry, I’m with-” You trailed off as your eyes surfed through the crowd, looking for Jimin. Finally, you spotted him…dancing with another girl. Not just innocent dancing, no, his hands were gripping her hips tight and she was grinding on him like a maniac. They were basically having sex on the dancefloor.

Oh.

Ouch.

“I’d love it if you bought me a drink.” You smiled at the guy and his grin widened.

“Great, I’m Jason.”

“(y/n).” You replied before standing. “Do you wanna dance.”

His eyes raked up your body and it made you feel slimy. He was looking at you like you were a piece of meat. Maybe that’s what you needed though. To get over your stupid crush, to salvage your relationship with your best friend.

You couldn’t keep fantasizing about him every night, that wasn’t a healthy friendship.

Jason took your hand and lead you onto the dance floor. You cringed when you ended up in the same vicinity of Jimin and the girl. It was fine, you were fine. You were going to forget about your best friend and how good he looked with his hair stuck to his forehead.

The guy immediately pulled you close, molding your body against his. You closed your eyes and just let your body move, trying to banish the memories with Jimin, the feeling of his body against yours. You needed to move on.

Jason’s hands slipped lower and lower until he was practically grabbing your ass. It was fine, you were fine.

“You’re so fucking fine.” He growled into your ear and you help back the eyeroll. You gasped when he roughly grabbed you, turning you around to face him and smashing his mouth against yours.

Whoa. Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. This wasn’t. You didn’t like this. You tried to pull away but had such a strong grip on your face you really couldn’t. What the fuck.

You started hitting his arm, struggling to get out of his grip, but he wouldn’t fucking let go. He roughly bit your lip and your involuntarily opened your mouth, giving him the opportunity to shove his tongue into your mouth.

You didn’t want this.  

…

Jimin had to get away from you. He could not stop staring. That little black dress shouldn’t have affected him so much, but it did. He felt guilty leaving you alone, but it was for his own sanity.

He had to get his mind off of you, and the blonde girl was all too willing to help. He tried really hard to get into it. She was attractive and eager, but he couldn’t stop thinking about you.

And then there you were, directly in his line of sight, dancing with another guy. Jealousy coursed through him. He wanted that to be him. His hands on your waist, your body pressed against his.  

Fuck.

He peeled his eyes off of you, trying to concentrate on the girl grinding on him, but his eyes kept finding their way back to you.

God, the guy literally had his hands on your ass. Jimin knew he was only causing pain for himself by watching the interaction. You looked like you were having a good time. It made him sick.

But then the guy roughly twisted you around and he saw the confused look on your face before the guy roughly pressed his lips against yours. He moved his hands to grip your head and Jimin immediately noticed when you began to struggle against his grip.

He was across the dance floor in seconds.

You were still struggling against Jason’s grip when he was roughly pulled off of you, causing you to stumble back before regaining your balance.

“What the fuck?!” He shouted angrily and your eyes teared up when you saw Jimin standing in front of you, muscles tensed as he faced off with the much larger guy.

“Leave her alone.” Your best friend commanded.

“Who the fuck even are you, her boyfriend or something?”

Jimin paused. “No, I’m her best friend.”

“That’s great dude, but we were having a good time and fucking look at her. She’s obviously looking to get fucked in that little getup. Are you mad that she’s not fucking you?” Jason laughed and you could only watch in horror when Jimin lunged at the guy.

“Jimin!” You screeched as both boys hit the ground. A crowd began to form around the two as punches were exchanged. “Jimin stop!”

In a matter of seconds, security was pulling them apart and dragging them out of the club. You trailed behind, eyes wide as tears streamed down your face.

“Get out of here!” One of the guards shouted before shutting the door.

“Oh my god Jimin.” You cried, grabbing your best friend by his shoulders so he was forced to face you.

“Fuck this, you’re not worth it.” You vaguely heard Jason mutter before walking off.

“What were you thinking?” You asked, gently running a hand across the cut on his cheek. Jimin didn’t answer, still breathing heavy from the fight.

Adrenaline was still pulsing through his veins and he gently cupped your face, brushing away your tears. Gently, ever so gently, he brought his face down to press his lips to yours. It was so sweet and loving, and it made your heart melt.

But this was wrong. He wasn’t thinking straight, had probably been drinking, was high on the adrenaline, so you stepped away.

“C’mon Chimchim, let’s get you home.” You said softly, putting his arm around your shoulders so you could support his weight. He didn’t say anything, just let him guide you back to your apartment.

You had forced him to sit on the edge of the bathtub so you could bandage up his face, but neither of you was saying anything. You were still in your dress, more concerned about getting your best friend patched up. It wasn’t bad, a few scratches, the cut on his face, and he’d probably be pretty bruised in the morning.

“God, what were you thinking Jimin? You’re not a fighter.” You asked with a sigh before leaning back to inspect your work. He was staring at your face and you fought the blush that wanted to spread across your face.

“I love you.” He said simply.

You froze.

Um.

What?

“I love you too Chimchim.” You laughed nervously, turning your back to him to wash your hands.

“No,” He said firmly, getting to his feet to stand behind you. “Not like that, not platonically. I am in love with you.”

You looked up into the mirror, seeing the seriousness on his face in the reflection. Your heart was in your throat.

“Stop.” You begged, closing your eyes.

“Why?” And you heard the pain in his voice.

“Because you’re my best friend in the whole world Jimin. What if something goes wrong? What if we’re not compatible as a couple? What if we break up and our relationship is ruined? If this is ruined?”

“Look at me.” He pleaded and you looked up at his reflection. “No, look at me.”

You sighed before turning around, tilting your chin to meet his eyes.

“I have been in love with you since the first week of that 7:30 lecture. I get butterflies any time I see you smile. When you laugh, I swear it’s like music to my ears. When I picture what I want my future to be like, you’re always the one by my side. I think you are the most amazing, smart, talented, beautiful woman I’ve ever met. I’m not worried about the future, about the what if’s because I know I will always love you.” Tears were streaming down your face by the end of his speech. You had no idea he felt that way.

“I’m in love with you too.” You managed to say and Jimin gently grabbed your face before bringing his lips down to yours.  

It felt different than the ones before. Because no one was drunk, and no one had an adrenaline high and he loved you and you loved him and for the first time, you didn’t feel worried about the future.

You gasped when Jimin’s hands slid down your body and he picked you up to sit you on the counter.

“This feels awfully familiar.” You laughed and Jimin pulled back with a smirk.

“I knew there was no way you didn’t remember that night. I fucked you way too good for you to forget.”

“Jimin, I literally had bruises on my hips from your hands, I had to try so hard to not let you see that I was walking funny the next day. I’ve been masturbating every night, imagining it was your hard cock slamming into me.”

Jimin growled before smashing his lips against yours. This kiss was hungrier, more passionate, and you moaned when one of his hands cupped your breast.

“Jimin,” you panted. “Take me to the bedroom.”

You squealed when he complied immediately, wrapping your arms around his neck and legs around his waist. History was literally repeating itself.

He dropped you onto his bed and you grinned up at him.

“As hot as you look in that dress, you’ll look even hotter without it.” He breathed and excitement coursed through you.

“You know, I only bought this dress so you could take it off.” You informed and he smirked, reaching forward to help you pull it over your head.

You gasped when he grabbed your legs and pulled you to the edge of the bed. The look on his face could only be described as devilish as he grabbed the edges of your panties and yanked them off in one fluid motion.

“Glad you didn’t rip them this time.” You teased.

“We’ll see how long you can keep up that cheeky attitude.”  There was a comeback already on your lips, but it went right out the window when Jimin buried his face between your legs.

“Oh fuck Jimin.” You moaned, arching your back as he sucked on your clit. He roughly grabbed your waist and pressed down, effectively pinning you to the bed, stopping your wiggling. You reached down and grabbed a fist full of his golden locks, pressing him even closer against your core. You swore you could feel him smiling.

“Oh shit, of fuck Jimin I’m gonna cum.” You panted, feeling the heat pooling in your stomach. In the moments right before you were pushed over the edge, Jimin pulled back.

You whined immediately, bucking your hips at the loss of contact. You reached down to finish the job yourself, but Jimin grabbed your wrist before you could.

“Nu uh, not yet.” He clucked.

“Jimin please.” You begged, aching from having been so close to release yet denied it. You watched in agony as he slowly licked his lips, getting all the excess juices from your pussy.

“You taste so good (y/n), so wet, so eager. What a naughty girl.” He purred, letting go of your wrist to slip his clothes off.

“Fuck me Jimin, I need you to fuck me.” He chuckled, running his hands along your legs. Your eyes were on his cock, already rock hard.  

“Is this what you want?” He asked, grabbing his cock and rubbing it against your slit. “You want me to fuck you with this cock?”

“Yes. Oh my god please.”

“Say it.” He slapped his cock right on your clit and you whimpered. “Look at me and say it.”

Your eyes shot open and you made eye contact with Jimin.  

He had never seen a sight so enticing. Your pupils were blown out with lust, your lips swollen, legs spread wide open, whining, whimpering for him. Moaning his name, aching for him.

“Please Jimin, please fuck me with your cock.” He couldn’t keep the coy act up anymore, not when you sounded so desperate for him. You cried out when he plunged into you, your walls expanding to accommodate his size.  

“Oh fuck, you’re so tight (y/n).” He groaned, refusing to move until you gave him the okay.  

“Fuck me Jimin.” You breathed and he wasted no time in pulling all the way back out and snapping his hips forward. The sight of Jimin lording over you as he fucked you into the mattress was the hottest thing you had ever seen. He leaned forward to press a messy kiss against your lips and you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, clawing at his back.

You couldn’t believe you had been denying yourself this the whole time. Absolutely ridiculous.

“Do you like the way I fuck you (y/n)?” Jimin panted as he thrust into you.

“Yes, yes, yes fuck yes,” You mewled, arching your back and throwing your head back.

It didn’t take long for you to feel your orgasm approaching. You had been so close before and Jimin was fucking you better than you had ever been fucked.

“Are you going to cum for me (y/n)? Huh? Are you going to cum all over my hard cock?” The fact that Jimin was so into dirty talk only turned you on even more.

“Yes, oh fuck yes!”

His pace increased, going even harder and faster. He had wanted to tease you more, to make you beg, but seeing you come undone under him was more enticing.

“Cum for me baby,” he commanded, reaching down to rub your clit. That’s what sent you over the edge, waves of pleasure crashing over you.

“Jimin, oh god, oh fuck, holy shit,” You babbled between moans as he continued pounding into you, making sure you received every bit of pleasure from your orgasm.  

“Oh fuck.” He breathed before burying himself into you and dropping his forehead to press against yours as his own orgasm washed over him. You cupped his face and pressed your lips against his, feeling him smile against your lips.

“I love you.” You said softly.

“I love you too.” He replied before pressing a soft kiss to the tip of your nose.

“You literally have a black eye. I can’t believe you fought that guy.” You sighed, pressing a pack of frozen peas against Jimin’s angry looking eye.

“He was an asshole.” He grumbled and you giggled.

“That’s true, but since when do you fight assholes? You’re not a fighter.”

“He was messing with my girl.”

Your heart fluttered. “Your girl huh?”

Jimin’s cheeks went red and you couldn’t help but laugh at how cute he was. “Well, you are my girl…right?”

You reached over and placed a kiss on his forehead. “Yes, I’m your girl.”

[ebthecelebrity]

#ManCrushMonday

I feel like all my life, I had a crush on someone. Well, from what I can remember since I was 6 years old. It was 1989.  I think the first time I saw him, he was performing on Showtime at the Apollo and I couldn’t take my eyes off him.  He had high energy, he could rap, and he could dance his ass off! MC Hammer.  The swag was impeccable with the bigger than life pants and at that very inappropriate age of 6, I couldn’t help put stare at his muscular chest. He was always shirtless and my virgin eyes would fixate on the beads of sweat dripping off it. It wasn’t a sexual crush that I had on him then, hell, I didn’t know I even had a vagina. It was something about that testosterone that caught my estrogen’s attention, and he was so unique.  MC Hammer fascinated me. At the same time, I was also fascinated by the rap duo, Salt n Pepa, but it was something about MC Hammer.......

It was official; I was crushing on boys, well, in this case a grown ass man.

MC Hammer dominated the early 90s.  He was on a plethora of television commercials, he had a cartoon that aired on Saturday mornings and he was staring in multiple movies. I was in MC Hammer Heaven from 6 – 9 years old.  It’s 1992 and one night I see three cuties singing about “Da Munchies” on the BET channel. When I set eyes on Immature also known as IMx, it was a wrap for Hammer. He drifted far away in those balloon pants to a land unknown from then on out. Similar to how my current dating life is like, but that’s a whole other blog I can’t even get into right now lol. This boy band literally consumed my mind and I found myself constantly singing love songs like I had been cheated on for the 25th time by a raggedy 5th grader. Each member in this trio was very different and I had my eyes set on the “bad boy” Romeo. He was the rapper of the crew and the eye patch he wore over his right eye was mysterious.  Just like Hammer, he was unique in his own right and this crush lasted for the next 3 years.  

It is now 1995 and I had mentally cheated on Romeo with numerous members of young boy bands in my innocent mind.  Jordan from New Kids on the Block, Ronnie Devoe from New Edition, Red from Another Bad Creation, and even the guy with the light eyes in Milli Vanilli…..I was swapping out these crushes like drawers.  Middle School created an obsessive with Layzie Bone from the popular rap group Bone Thugs n Harmony. It wasn’t until I saw the music video, “Thuggish Ruggish Bone” that I attempted to understand every fast spitting word they said. I equally loved them all, sometimes rotating which member I liked more with each performance, each music video, each magazine spread. If you knew me back in High School, you knew! My adolescent bedroom became a shrine. My parents questioned what the hell was going on and couldn’t understand why I liked these “Thugs.” The crush I had on Layzie Bone became so embedded in my mind that I created a married life with him and 3 kids. My best friend and I just knew we were going to graduate high school, move to Cleveland and have this life! These plans were made at 13 years old.  No offense, but there’s no way in hell I’d move to Cleveland now lol.

The solid crush on Bone Thugs n Harmony lasted until well after college. Finally, I started to really date and the crushes became boyfriends. The boyfriend became a husband. The husband became an ex husband. Now here I am, it’s 2019 and I’m knocking at 40’s door.  With the take off of social media, you can see the love across the multiple platforms with the hashtag, “ManCrushMonday also known as #MCM.” It’s the social media trend to post pictures and express your affection for your crush on a Monday. Like clockwork, each Monday, I was reminded of everyone’s crush on my timeline. About 90% of them were of their significant other.  I started questioning myself, “Who is your crush, Eb?”  Looking back, I had never posted a real life #MCM. I was pretty private with my love life, but honestly to get the #MCM post, you had to give me the same feeling I felt when I saw hot fish come out of grease. I wasn’t feeling that with no one. There wasn’t a connection.  Would I ever have a #MCM? Shit was depressing. So, I thought back on how my crushes started as a young girl. Never were they truly someone I went to school with, dated, or even personally knew.   They were all celebrities.  

To get my #MCM started, I began my Mondays with some eye candy.   A different celebrity graced my page. I didn’t know a damn thing about their personal life. They could have been a real life asshole for all I knew.  They were all finer than frog hair though.  Rappers Dave East and Nas, and actor Kofi Siriboe were all exposed on my page. Each week, I fantasized for a brief moment about my celebrity #MCMs and chuckled to myself how they didn’t even know my black ass existed. One Monday, my routine was abruptly disrupted.  I thought about posting singer, Trey Songz. I had actually met him in a club years ago and conversed with him. I remember him being as fine as his pictures online and the short conversation sent me floating on cloud 99.  I scrolled his Instagram and said to myself, “Bih, Trey don’t know you!”   I quickly put my phone down and found myself so deep in thought. “Who does know you, Eb?”

As I sat back and analyzed the consistent men in my life, one stuck out the most. My brother.  He was there through all the youthful crushes. At the tender age of 1, my brother was there for MC Hammer. He was 4 when I fell in love with Immature. At 8, he didn’t realize it but I was mentally married to a thug.  He was always there, and he always had my back. Being five years apart, we never went to school together but the neighborhood knew I was his sister and he was my brother. Now, here we are…I’m in a mid life crisis and he’s in his prime. At 31 years old, he never was the over protective brother. He gave me just enough space and opportunity to do me. He would be vocal if necessary and I appreciated that. Sometimes the big sister had to let little brother be big brother and there were times he had to counsel me.

He’s my #MCM! Sometimes we single people get caught up in the hype of a fantasy. I’ve been in that hype majority of my life. Loving celebrities who don’t even care about your existence, and ignoring those who do. I want to dedicate my #ManCrushMonday to my brother, Weedee. If I told you his government name I’d have to kill you. He was my Weedee before any of you knew him. I watched him love me from a little brother’s point of view and be there for me when the crushes were nothing but a memory. He’s a stand up guy and if my crush is not even 10% of what he is made of, I am not interested. I challenge all single ladies who participate in weekly #MCMs to utilize your platform and shout out your loved one who is a male that has been CONSISTENT.  Many confuse a crush with someone who you have to date or be sexually involved with. No, a crush is someone who you can be intensely infatuated with, without it having to be inappropriate.

I salute you Weedee. Thank you for looking out for me when literally there has been no one I could turn to.  Having a crush on someone is fine and all, but having a real life bond for eternity with someone you respect and admire with the same DNA is incomparable.  No crush compares to my brother.

[evans-dream]

All You Never Say 

Pairing: Tom x OC

Word Count: 2k 

Chapter: “Shivers” 1/ ?

Summary: Isabelle was baffled at both of them, sighing as she decided to give up and head for her own room. Her eyes met Tom’s as she walked up the stairs, an intriguing look was on his face as he talked on the phone, there was almost a roughness to it which made her frown. 

He diverted his eyes after a few seconds, focusing back on his order and a weird feeling settled in the pit of her stomach. She didn’t know if she should push for it, maybe Harrison was right and Tom was just tired. But she knew him too well, if it were for any other instance, she’d confront him about it right away, this time though, something was stopping her. She didn’t quite understand why she felt weird about this, or maybe she was imagining things. She too was very tired.

or the Friends to lovers AU where Tom’s crushing on his best friend, who’s conveniently his personal assistant and well, things work out for the best and for the worst. 

        Isabelle unlocked the door and walked inside the large house, sighing deeply as she removed her heels. The lights were still on and she could hear the television playing in the distance, alerting her that the boys were still awake. No surprise there though, it was not even past ten in the evening now, but her soirée felt like it had lasted an eternity.

“B, is that you?” She heard one of them yell from the living room, voice muffled by whatever they were munching on. She loosened her short, brown hair from its intricate bun, ruffling it around.

“Yeah.” She winced at the cold contact of her toes on the floor, still very painful from the heels, which were not even worth it given how her night went. Actually, the time she spent getting ready was a whole waste of energy and makeup. “The taxi dropped me off.”

“What about Joshua?” She walked in the living room and couldn’t help the smile on her face as she took in the view. Tom and Harrison were wrapped up in fuzzy blankets, eyes fixated on the massive TV screen that reflected a blue hue on their faces.

“Joshua is hopefully back to his own home now,” Isabelle replied, motioning at them to move to leave her a spot on the couch. She leaned closer to Tom since he had the popcorn bowl in possession and took a handful.

“You came back early though; it didn’t go well?”  Harrison asked and she grimaced, her awful date flashing back in her mind.

“Nope, he was a real dick.” She sighed and Tom chuckled, eyeing Harrison. “Very boring too, who would have thought. That’ll teach me about going on dates with my teenage celebrity crushes.”

“You have to start lowering your expectations, not everyone can be me,” Tom replied with a grin and she shoved his shoulder.

“Thankfully.” She rolled her eyes while Tom faked offense, flicking a popcorn in her direction. “Anyway, I seriously doubt I’ll ever even find someone.”

“What makes you think that?” Harrison asked, him and Tom sharing a look that Isabelle was completely oblivious too.

“As Holls said, my expectations are too high.” She shrugged. “I want...stability, you know? I got to know the person is in it for real. Also, I’m not into dickheads.”

“Was he really that bad?” Tom wondered, voice unsure. “When I met him at Another Man’s launch party, he was pretty cool.”

“He spent an hour talking about how awful his ex is, Thomas.” She replied dryly and Tom couldn’t help the snort that came out of his lips. “Certainly did crush my 13-year-old self’s heart, this is not how I fantasized our first date to be.”

“Alright, so you had one bad date. Doesn’t mean you’re going be lonely forever, darling.” Tom replied, patting her head and Isabelle sighed.

“Maybe. Anyway, tonight made me realize how busy I am and I genuinely do not have time to waste on men now.” She stood up from the couch, replacing her red dress as to not flash anyone. “I’m off to sleep. And you should too, we have a busy day tomorrow.”

“Yes, ma’am. Goodnight.” Harrison piped and Tom smiled.

“Goodnight, B.” The moment she was out of sight, Tom snapped his head to look at his best mate, agitated. “She said-”

“I know Tom; I was literally right here,” Harrison whispered and Tom sighed, slumping in his seat. “But hey, at least nothing more’s going to happen with Josh.”

“Yeah, but what if she decides guys like us aren’t worth it?”

“You can’t know that. And like she said, there’s too much going on now to focus on relationships so just…have fun, I don’t know mate.” Harrison laughed, holding his duvet tighter around himself and trying to focus back on the show they were watching. Tom kept an annoyed frown on his face, mind too preoccupied to even concentrate on the plot.

“You suck, H.” He uttered, regretting it seconds later when he felt his friend’s foot collide with his arm. “Oi!”

“Fuck off, Tom.”

The next day was a busy one, Isabelle still feeling off after her failure of an evening and her dampened mood was starting to get contagious. But Tom had to push away those thoughts, focusing instead on his actual job and waiting for the director’s, Jon Watts, cue. They had been doing this scene several times already and he was glad his mask was hiding his tired expression.

“Action.” He heard Jon say before he felt his harness lower him to the ground, head upside down. He dodged a few rehearsed punches and gesticulated around as he said his lines. “Cut! Alright, Tom, that was the one.” He could hear everyone clapping around him and pulled off the mask, breathing in the fresh air deeply with a grin.

“Christ, my head was literally about to explode.” He chuckled while the stuntman helped him stand upright, still remaining a few feet in the air. Both Harrison and the director laughed at his words, eyes intently focused on a screen.

“Then imagine how Tobey must have felt filming that scene with MJ,” Jon replied, stepping closer to where Tom was trying to keep his balance in the air, eyebrow raised in question.

“Wait, for which scene?”

“The spider-man kiss. Both of them actually, apparently it was a pain in the ass to shoot.” Jon continued, now focused on something Harrison and his producer were showing him.

“Is that why you don’t want me to do one.” Tom chuckled, eyeing the small crowd of people working around him. He spotted Isabelle appear in the studio, several coffees, and documents in hand. “How long am I supposed to stay in the air, Jon?”

“A few more minutes, Tom, we have to set everything for the rest of the fight scene.” The director replied, already leaving him to focus on other details.

“Alright.” Tom sighed, continuing to balance himself and he wondered if he could do a flip in his harness. He gave himself a big push and laughed in surprise as he managed to rotate himself successfully, ready to try it again.

“Don’t tire yourself too much, Spidey.” He recognized Isabelle’s voice and looked down at her extended hands holding his tea and a sandwich.

“Thanks, B.” He drank a couple sips of the hot drink and chewed on his lunch. Working on set was tiring and he was absolutely famished.

“Of course. Why are you still hanging in the air?” Tom pointed at Jon with his sandwich, Isabelle’s eyes glancing at the director yelling orders at the extras. He leaned down to give her back his tea and lunch, but lost his balance and ended up upside down again.

“Shit.” He tried to pull himself up, having no force to do so while Isabelle giggled by his side. “Help me!” He could feel the blood rush to his face, but still grinned at the situation. She snorted, poking his forehead to make him swing back and forth and he looked at her in annoyance. “You’re the worst assistant ever.”

“Don’t make me push you harder.” She smirked, looking down at him since his eyes were levelled with her neck. “You’re spider-man, you should enjoy being like this.”

“Isa, I swear to God-”

“Tom, if you really wanted to do the spider-man kiss, you could’ve just told me.” Jon interrupted them with a chuckle and both snapped their heads to look at him. Tom could feel himself blush, thankfully hidden by his already flushed cheeks given his position while Isabelle stepped back, pursing her lips into a smile.

“N-No, we were not, we weren’t…,” He chuckled nervously while Jon motioned at someone to come pull the actor back up.

“I was just kidding,” Watts replied with a laugh, thanking Isabelle for the coffee she was handing him. Still feeling startled, Tom glanced at his friend and he could feel his heart flip when she winked at him, hazel eyes twinkling with malice.

The rest of the shoot went smoothly and Tom moaned in happiness when he was finally lowered to the ground. Flying on set was fun, of course, but after a full day of swinging around, being back on earth was heavily welcomed. After changing back into his normal clothes, he joined the rest of the crew on set to hear Jon’s report of the day and listened carefully for what was up to come in the following days. Tomorrow would be off and he welcomed the break with open arms, they were getting very rare lately and he was exhausted.

Harrison and Isabelle joined him to his car, Isa giving him a quick recap of his schedule for the following week and he thanked heavens that he had her in his life. She was first and foremost his best friend, had been for a quite some time now before deciding to hire her as his assistant. She was doing a leap year in college and wanted to escape her routine, so Tom suggested she’d come work with him for a little while. He had several movies to film this year and desperately needed help since Harrison was growing in his own lane, working as an assistant in production. And Isabelle was incredibly good at the job, she knew Tom well, was organized and honestly, everything he was looking for.

His only issue was that the teeny, fleeting crush he had first developed when they met only grew the longer time he spent with Isabelle, and now that they basically spent every waking hour together and they knew each other more than ever before, it was getting harder and harder to suppress certain…feelings. Thankfully she was completely oblivious to it, which was both a blessing and torture for Tom. And also torture for Harrison, poor lad had to listen to Tom’s rants about his growing infatuation for they common best friend and truly felt like he should win a prize for putting up with his shit.

“What are we having for dinner tonight?” Harrison interrupted Tom’s train of thoughts and all eyes turned to Isabelle.

“Whatever you had last night. I’m not cooking again.” She replied dryly, focused on her paperwork and both men grimaced.

“We…had crisps and beers last night,” Tom uttered and she looked up at them, a defeated look on her round face.

“Oh, and popcorn,” Harrison added, glancing at her through the rearview mirror and making her sigh deeply.

“You two genuinely cannot take care of yourselves.” She said with a roll of the eyes. “How you have survived so far is beyond me. Beers and fries, really?” They both gave her a forced grin and she snorted, shaking her head. “We’ll order something I guess; I think it’s Tom’s turn to pay.”

“What? Wasn’t I the one to order last time?”

“No, because H bought us breakfast the morning after.” Harrison chuckled and Tom nudged his shoulder.

“Watch out, bro, I’m driving.”

“Please, Harrison, do not crash this car.”

“Relax, guys, I barely brushed him.”

“Oi, that actually hurt, think I’m going to have a bruise tomorrow.” Tom scoffed, shaking his head.

“You’re not, stop talking shit.”

“I am feeling personally victimized.” Their banter was cut short by Isabelle’s phone ringing, startling her. She frowned as she read the caller ID, wondering if she should pick up. Tom glanced at her from the passenger seat, noticing the odd look on her face and curiosity started bubbling up in him.

“Joshua, hi,” Isabelle finally picked up, forcing a kind tone and Tom’s face immediately fell, rolling his eyes as he sat properly back in his seat. A tensed silence could be felt in the car, only broken by Isabelle’s voice. “No, I’m not busy now, I hope you had a safe ride home?”

Tom and Harrison exchanged a look, both now calmed down and discretely trying to listen to what the caller was saying. “Is there something wrong?” She asked Joshua, wondering why he was contacting her after their disastrous date yesterday.

“No, uhm…I just wanted to...To apologize, I guess? For last night.”

“Oh.” She frowned, sensing the slight nervousness in his voice. Well, that was unexpected. They didn’t leave on bad terms per say, but Isa knew she made it clear in her demeanor that she hadn’t enjoyed herself at all and Joshua evidently picked up on her cues.

“Yeah, It was a bad, very bad day…and I let it ruin the mood for the evening and I, yeah…I’m sorry I sucked.” He chuckled and she tried to suppress the grin that was growing on her face.

“It’s alright, don’t worry.” She was more genuine now. “Thanks for apologizing though, that’s very thoughtful.”

Hearing the rest of their conversation, Tom couldn’t help the irritation rising within him at the thought of Joshua calling, and Isabelle’s sudden softer tone. He could sense Harrison quick glances in his direction and tried to calm himself, fists clenched on his lap. She quickly ended the call, shaking her head in disbelief at her short conversation with Joshua, not denying that she liked the change in the situation.

“So, what’s up with him?” Harrison was the first to break the silence, finally parking the car in front of their rented home.

“Oh, he apologized? That was nice.” Isabelle chuckled, picking up her things from the back seat while Tom tried his best not to slam his car door closed. “Then he asked me out again. Said he’d be a better date the second time around.”

“Ain’t that great,” Tom said dryly under his breath and Harrison gave him a quick glare before forcing an interested smile at Isabelle.

“Did you say yes?”  

“Kind of? I’m going to give this a second chance, maybe I judged him too quickly?” She shrugged as they all walked inside the house. “What do you think, Tom?”

“Hmm?” He practically squeaked, the tightest smile pulling at his face as he removed his boots. “What happened to you being too busy for men?” She gave him a strange look at the rudeness of his tone.

“I mean, yeah, that’s still true…But I’m not going to deny myself an opportunity just because I’m too busy?” She could feel a weird tension between her and Tom, not quite understanding it while Harrison wanted nothing but to disappear.

“So, Tom? Pizzas?” He blurted out, trying to divert the subject and the distraction was quickly embraced. Tom nodded, leaving to search for a menu and call the pizza place and Isabelle watched him shuffle his way out, concern wrinkling her face.

She turned to Harrison, gripping his arm before he would also leave the small lobby. “What’s up with him? He sounded a bit weird?” She whispered and Harrison shrugged.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Please,” She scoffed quietly. “He seemed a bit off. Is it about Joshua?”

“What? No,” He brushed off her comment, making a mental note to tell Tom to calm the fuck down next time. “He’s…tired, today was very exhausting.” He left her before she could reply, practically running to get to his room and escape the tense situation.

Isabelle was baffled at both of them, sighing as she decided to give up and head for her own room. Her eyes met Tom’s as she walked up the stairs, an intriguing look was on his face as he talked on the phone, there was almost a roughness to it which made her frown. He diverted his eyes after a few seconds, focusing back on his order and a weird feeling settled in the pit of her stomach. She didn’t know if she should push for it, maybe Harrison was right and Tom was just tired. But she knew him too well, if it were for any other instance, she’d confront him about it right away, this time though, something was stopping her. She didn’t quite understand why she felt weird about this, or maybe she was imagining things. She too was very tired.

Plus, she had a date to get ready for tomorrow, whatever was up with Tom wasn’t going to ruin it, not after giving Josh a second chance. Hopefully, it was going to be way better than the first time.

[bowlingforshrimp]

About Me

Thought I’d do a fun about me post. Because why not. I want to tag @herself-a-universe​ @witchychild-grimoire​ @raenai​ @radmamajama​ to do this too.

1. Name: Lavender

2. Zodiac Sign: Gemini Sun, Leo Moon, Scorpio Rising. It’s pretty accurate.

3. Three Fears: Spiders, rejection, being sick.

4. Three Things I Love: Flowers, happy things, my friends.

5. My best Friend: RJ my former roomie, but also Willow and Sarah.

6. Last Song I Listened To: I don’t know but I was singing Hardest of Hearts by Florence and the Machine.

7. Four Turn ons: Looks ( this is so vague lol), confidence, flirting, being genuine.

8. Four Turn Offs: Anger, rudeness, disinterest, poor hygiene. 

9. Dream Date Scenario: Depends on the person?? I would like going somewhere in nature with a coffee and walking around and talking and connecting. Then somewhere inside, cozy and warm, having fun, maybe ending up making out. That sounds nice.

10. Tattoos/ Piercings: I have 1 tattoo on my left arm of a sunflower design. I used to have a nostril and monroe piercing, but didn’t keep either of them. For now it’s just my ears.

11. Why I joined Tumblr: I joined back in 2010 because I had friends who found it interesting. I didn’t post much, but rejoined in 2013 when the whole superwholock thing was big.... lmao. I’ve been active since.

12. How I feel Right Now: Generally pretty bored, but I’ve been researching some stuff and keeping myself entertained.

13. Something I really, really want: I want.. so much. I want more witchy stuff, I want my life figured out, I want happiness and less stress.

14. My relationship status: Where the fuck is that shrugging emoji. I’m poly- I have a relationship with my spirit mate and I also have a gf in the physical. <3

15.The meaning behind my URL: I literally just made something up, I can’t explain that. Insert shrugging emoji again.

16. Favorite songs: Anything by Willow, but specifically 9, Isreal, Boy, waves of nature, and wait a minute. Umm, also Now or Never by Halsey, Cherry Wine by Hozier... I have a lot of songs I like.c

17. Favorite Movies: I like Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, Kiki’s delivery service, Coraline, Alice in Wonderland, Moana, Kill Bill, a bunch of stuff.

18. Favorite bands: Just look at the song list lmao.

19. Three things that upset me: People who are quick to anger, a lack of justice or fairness, the general state of the world.

20. Three things that make me happy: Cute and pretty things, my friends, being hopeful for the future.

21. Three things I find attractive in other people: patience, kindness, enthusiasm.

22. Something I love: cats

23. Someone I miss: Willow

24. My relationship with my parents: Good in general.

25. My favorite holidays: Christmas, Halloween, Valentines Day.

26. Someone from tumblr I would date: (;(;(;(((((;;(;(; (;

27. A confession: I’m fu ckin tired and stressed.

28. Favorite drinks: CofFeE, juices, Dr. Pepper, water is a good.

29. Favorite foods: Korean Food, Chinese food, sushi, pizza, burgers, thanksgiving food, sweet potato, chocolate in general.

30.Favorite smells/ scents: Fall scents like pumpkin and cranberry, Floral scents, Nag champa and fruity incense, scents of certain people, nature smells, libraries and books.

31. Three things that annoy me easily: People being rude, my cats knocking things off my desk, my cats fighting in general.

32. My pets: 4 cats- Zombie and Jellybean the brown tabby girls, and Jaeger the tuxedo and Tahno the siamese mix boys.

33. How I got into witchcraft: About a year and a half ago I felt a calling to the witchcraft lifestyle and knew I needed something like it in my life. I started researching on the internet and on tumblr, then 5 months later found witchcraft/ spirit working discords.

34. My practice/ path: I’m a cosmic witch and a spirit worker. I am a dionysus devotee and have 3 spirit companions who I love. I do energy work and spellwork and like to use elemental, light and cosmic energy.

35. Something that’s constantly on my mind: my future, my friends, every one of my anxities.

36. Three habits I have: Bad habits? I chew my bottom lip, I don’t take my meds regularly and umm... I don’t breathe very well. I usually don’t breathe in enough.

37. My future goals: Have an apartment with my friends, learn more about witchcraft and spirit work, have a decent job that I like and just be happy.

38. Something I fantasize about: See above. 

39. Favorite Colors: Purple, Maroon, Blue, Green, peach and pink.

40. What I did yesterday: Stayed up until 8am and slept until 3pm. Played cards against humanity and hung out with my lovely gf.

41. My talents: Staying up until 8am. Jk. Violin and music things, art, math, and umm, is loving a talent. I think I’m good at being loving.

42. Celebrity crushes: I just appreciate hot people. But Kit Harrington could get it.

43. Myers- Briggs Type: INFJ

44. Chinese Zodiac: Year of the Dog

45. Ideal place to live: Just putside of Seattle where it has a nice view and is surrounded by trees and also I’m crazy rich because Seattle is expensive as fuck.

46. My perfect day: Doing fun things with people I love and not having a single worry all day.

47. Where I want to vacation to: France, Europe in general, Australia, Morrocco, Seattle, California, anywhere pretty and new.

48. Do I want kids: Perhaps someday, yeah.

49. My favorite thing to learn about/ study: Witchcraft, Religion, Social Sciences, Science in general, Plants and nature/ gardening.

50. A random fact or quirk about me: I’m fckin... barely a person even, what,