#I love filters but they destroy my highlights often

[hajihiko]

Crown of thorns

[mypetshopworld]

Ho Ho Ho it's Christmas Time. The cruellest thing you can do on Christmas. A Dog is not a Toy. Why it is a bad idea to give an animal as a Christmas Gift.

The unwanted Christmas Gift we all been there.

Christmas Time is a hectic time, and everyone rushes to get the presents and things ready to spend time with family and friends. 

It is a time where thousands of Christmas present will be returned the next day. We all been there. Receiving a Gift we didn't really want. An embarrassing pullover from Aunt Megan, an ugly pair of socks, a tie or a useless electronic gadget. All of those items are easily returned or just put in a drawer and forget about it. Some even end up in the daily trash.

Giving a pet as a Christmas Gift. A bad idea for both the future pet owner and the pet.

Giving a living animal to someone and the person does not really want it or is prepared for it, that is the moment when it becomes disastrous. After all, it is an animal with feelings, it is breathing and deserves to receive love. According to ASPCA In the days, weeks, and months following the festivities, animal shelters all over the world are inundated with animals who were given as a gift. I have to say those are the lucky ones, not every pet will be brought to a shelter. Some will be abandoned in the woods or beside the road and left to fight for themselves. Some will die, starve to death or get hit by a car. Some guardians will advertise and look for a good home, the danger here is that they might get in the wrong hands and are used for dog fights or for animal testing. Pet Shops advertise their pets and some people get supercharged with the idea of giving a puppy or kitten as a Christmas gift.

It sounds great and cute thinking of the surprise and the face including the tears. I don't want to spoil your Christmas present but giving a pet as a Christmas present is a not a good idea.

Let me tell you why it is not a good idea?

Having a pet and inviting it to become part of the family is a family decision. Not a spontaneous one it is a decision you want to have discussed and thought through. There are much more things to consider as just the video you can upload and share with your social media tribe and friends. A dog is not a toy, nor is a cat, a toy. Those are animals living beings, and yes, they do have feelings.  The internet is full of lovely videos and photos of puppies. Kittens packed in Santa cloth and puppies with Santa hats coming out of boxes. The reactions of those who receive them. You can find thousands of videos where joy comes into a person's life, and it is accompanied by happy tears. 

Why should an animal not to be considered as a gift? 

After all, we are talking about a living being and an animal that requires care and attention. The Shelters getting full after the Christmas months with animals what are given as a gift, but when people realize what kind of work and commitment is involved, they give them up. I do not say all are like this and some people are happy and commit to a lifetime keeping the pet.

What a lot of friends do not realize when they give you a pet as a Christmas Gift that the cute puppy needs training, and will do a lot of mischievous things. Without proper training and care, the puppy can become a dog that is not listening to the owner or becomes aggressive. Same goes for the aquatic part like turtles they are so cute when you buy them so tiny and small.   Unfortunately, they grow quickly out of the small Aquarium and without a proper filter system, the water becomes quickly dirty and smells. That is why many end up in the local River system.  Is it right to give pets as a gift for Christmas? We should always keep in mind some critical points before considering giving a pet as a Christmas gift. 

A Pet is a lifetime commitment and a loyal family member

Having an animal is a decision that can change a person's life a lot. It's a long-term commitment. You can't change them, you can't give them back. That's why before giving an animal to someone else, we must make sure that the person understands the responsibilities to have an animal in their life.  Even more important are they up for this challenge and are they living in an environment where they can accommodate a cat or a dog. ( check out our free dog breed calculator. Choose the right dog for you ) Therefore, the person should have verbalized the desire to adopt. Also, we must be clear that the animal gets the time and space it requires. 

Adoption is a great solution to help abandoned animals. 

Theoretically, the more animals adopted, the better for them, for shelters and for the families. Is that so? More or less. Statistics show that during Christmas or holidays, the abandonment rates increases. This is why some associations and NGOs temporarily closed adoptions on Christmas Eve.  It is essential to highlight that in the spirit of Christmas, there are non-certified breeders that sell pets before they are ready to be taken from the mom.  Those pets come without their proper vaccinations, and without worrying about their welfare. This will obviously translate into behavioural issues and health problems of the animals.  Most of the Pets bought on the streets will die as they are breed for business and not for the well being of a Pet.  "Pets should not be considered a commodity."

Download my Christmas Gift for you. 3 Free Ebooks. All you need to know about Pets. Cats. Dogs.

For the love of Dogs For the love of Cats For the love of Pets

Puppies and Kids are great together but consider a dog or a cat is not a toy. 

There are many cases of children who wish to have a dog as a pet animal, and there is really nothing wrong with that. It is one of the best things that can happen to a child having a dog or cat around and grow up with it.  Who hasn't heard that speech saying if you have a dog, you'll have to take care of him? However, it is essential to remember that they are children and that they cannot be 100% responsible for a dog. It is, in the end, the responsibility of the parent.  When adopting an animal, parents should be aware that it is their responsibility, and the fact that the child does not care for the dog is no excuse for abandonment. It is a family decision I can not stretch it often enough. Pets, in my opinion, should only be given as a gift by parents to the kids, at least they have put some thought into it. 

Pets as a Christmas Gift. Consider all changes and challenges. 

*If you are determined to give a pet to make a person happy, old or young consider different factors.  *Is there enough space for the pet?  *Can the person or family accommodate a pet? *How many hours a day is a pet alone. If more than 8 hours do not give a pet as a gift.  *Is the person or family able to accommodate the vet and food expenses?  *Make sure the person is not allergic to pets.  *Does the person have experience with pets?  *If the pet is a dog, is the person or family able to walk with the dog regular?  There are a lot of things to consider and please think before you make the decision to give someone a pet as a Christmas gift. Understand the pet like a dog or cat will be hurting if it is returned after Christmas.  Pets have feelings and emotion the same as you. It will not understand why you leave it alone in a shelter and abandon it. If you want to give a pet as a gift, you assure that the person is ready for the commitments and responsibilities. 

It's time to think about the pet's arrival at the new home.

If it's a puppy or a kitten, you should remember that they will be separated from their mother and siblings.

They will come to a home full of people and stimuli that will probably make it more than uncomfortable for the pet. The first night it will cry and call out for the siblings and the mom. You might not get much sleep. You must have a bed or a playpen prepared in a quiet place in the house where they can sleep and be away from excessive noise and groping. In short, a comfortable place to hide.  You should also have toys and food. An alternative way to avoid the stress of arriving at a new home is to surprise the person with an adoption certificate. This is a good way for the future pet owner to be ready. The adaptation will be less stressful, and the future owner will have time to choose a pet, accessories and bed himself. The future Pet owner can also prepare himself or the family mentally for the new member. 

Consider adoption before you buy from a Breeder.  

If you buy from a Breeder, please make sure it is a certified Breeder and not an illegal Breeder who breeds pets for the sake of money.  Choosing adoption over buying is a wise decision.  In addition to being a much cheaper option, we'll stop financing illegal breeders and avoid indiscriminate dog breeding.  You will also save an abandoned and homeless pet and give space in the shelter for another pet to arrive.  In 2018 this video footage went viral RSPCA posted it. Everyone was so touched even Snoop Dogg and Andrew Neil offered to take the dog in. But if that person's wish is to have a specific breed, we recommend you to look for a kennel that has all the papers.  It will give a guarantee that it is reproducing healthy pets with specific veterinary tests, and that has a hygienic space that favours the welfare of the puppies. 

You will be surprised how many dog breeds are abandoned every day, and you can find in a shelter. Go on the internet and look around in animal shelters near your area. I got our Doberman and German Shepard from a shelter. Alone in the US, there are yearly around 1.6 Million Animals euthanized. 670.000 Dogs and 860.000 Cats. Both of my dogs have been Christmas gifts and sent to the shelter with only 5 months old. I guess the owners did not consider how big they get, and that they will chew and destroy in their puppyhood a lot of things they can get their teeth on.  Remember that many pet breeds are also abandoned and need a home. In a pet who comes from an animal shelter, you find a loyal companion.  We hope that all this information will help you evaluate whether or not it is positive to give pets as a Christmas Gift.  And how you can assure the pet has found a family or owner for life.  If you liked my blog Ho Ho Ho it's Christmas Time. The cruellest thing you can do on Christmas. A Dog is not a Toy. Why it is a bad idea to give an animal as a Christmas Gift. Please like and share with family and friends. Visit our Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter page.  I wish you a wonderful a festive Season. 

My Christmas Gift to you. 3 Free ebooks instant download. All you need to know about Pets, Dogs, Cats

For the love of cats click here For the love of dogs click here For the love of pets click here All yours Melanie  Source Information https://www.aspca.org/animal-homelessness/shelter-intake-and-surrender/pet-statistics Approximately 6.5 million companion animals enter U.S. animal shelters nationwide every year. Of those, approximately 3.3 million are dogs and 3.2 million are cats.  We estimate that the number of dogs and cats entering U.S. shelters annually has declined from approximately 7.2 million in 2011.  The biggest decline was in dogs (from 3.9 million to 3.3 million).Each year, approximately 1.5 million shelter animals are euthanized (670,000 dogs and 860,000 cats).  The number of dogs and cats euthanized in U.S. shelters annually has declined from approximately 2.6 million in 2011.  This decline can be partially explained by an increase in the percentage of animals adopted and an increase in the number of stray animals successfully returned to their owners.Approximately 3.2 million shelter animals are adopted each year (1.6 million dogs and 1.6 million cats).About 710,000 animals who enter shelters as strays are returned to their owners. Of those, 620,000 are dogs and only 90,000 are cats. Read the full article

[mysticmedusa26]

Tony Stark Yes Iron Man Not Recommended

After Ultron the avengers had moved to the compound and Tony had all but quit the superhero game. He still had his suits and updated them often or built new ones. The avengers didn’t even contact him anymore and somehow that hurt a lot because he had thought they were friends. Tony had tried to call twice but each time Steve had been too busy to talk to him. Rhodey at least stayed in contact and Tony found himself thankful for his long time friend. Alone in the tower Tony realized that he could finally do what he wanted. No one was there to be offended by how he wanted to be in his own house. With a grin Tony rushed to his penthouse to get what he wanted.

So this was how Tony Stark, superhero, iron man, and the man with horrible impulses found himself standing in the common room's living room a cup of coffee half way to his lips frozen as Loki stared at him.

“Well shit, can we please forget you saw this and you just kill me after I change my clothes?” He asked with wishful thinking.

Tony was many things but among them was a dark secret of being a secret fanboy of several super-villains. Steve would be so disappointed and Pepper would probably kill him with her heels if she knew. So in his secret desire to drool over and fanboy over some villains along with his own perversion of loving to wear sexy women’s lingerie he found himself dressed to his heart’s desire of fanboying over Loki.

The god stood there eyes dilated and licking his lips as he looked over the corset top in his colors, the sexy lace panties in black with green that matched the top spiked heeled boots, and a fashionable golden crown with small horns like Loki’s helmet.

“You’re wearing my colors.”

Tony studied the god a moment willing his racing heart that told him he should kneel for the god to calm long enough for him to either die with grace or pray to whatever god he didn’t believe in that the avengers never found his body.

“Well I’m kind of a fan boy and you’re smoking hot and smart as hell to the point I would kneel before you if I could just poke that beautiful brain of yours for even a moment…damn brain to mouth filter why don’t you exist?” He cursed himself realizing he was telling Thor’s insane little brother he had a boner for him.

“Fan boy?” Loki said stepping closer his armor and staff vanishing.

“Ah yeah…”

“You’d kneel before me?”

Tony felt his heart race as he nodded.

“What would you do for me on your knees?” Loki asked lust dripping from his voice as he licked his lips.

“Fuck, anything you want.” Tony answered dropping to his knees in front of the god.

“Good, I have a very long list of what I want from you my dear.” Loki said grabbing the mortal’s head and pressing him to his crotch where a very impressive piece was waiting for his attention.

Tony was certain he would die but he was going to enjoy the path that led to his grave.

~

2

Tony probably should have taken the random appearance of Loki as a sign that he shouldn’t go around fanboying or stark naked(pun fully intended) but he was Tony Stark and he did what he wanted. So that was how he found himself another day doing what he wanted and in the common room again naked staring down the winter soldier. His dick showed his attention within moments and he looked down before meeting the soldier’s eyes.

“Well fuck, can you just ignore the fact that I find you ridiculously hot as hell and just let me put on some clothes before you kill me?”

The soldier looked down at his hard cock and began removing his gear.

“Ah soldier?”

The soldier closed the distance between them and grabbed his hair to pull his head back and seal his lips with his own. The kiss was deep and passionate and shut off Tony’s brain for the two hours the solider had him in any and every position he wanted him in.

When he woke up still alive, alone, and unable to walk Tony wondered if he just attracted villains. Not that Bucky Barnes was a villain but he wasn’t exactly a good guy with all the winter soldier programming in his head. The pain in his lower back was a familiar one and he sighed content with the fact the soldier had used him for his own desires before leaving. He should probably wonder why the soldier was even there but he was to happy to at the moment.

~

3

Tony decided he wanted pie and it had been years since he’d baked anything. While most believed he couldn’t cook to save his life the reality was he was actually really good at baking. He had just pulled a pie out of the oven when he turned to find his tower had an unexpected visitor. That wasn’t the worst part though as Tony was naked other than the apron that didn’t leave much to the imagination. Yes he still went around naked, it was his house and no sudden arrival of villains was changing that.

“So before you kill me can we please sit down and eat this pie? It would be a shame for it to go to waste.”

Magneto knowing his suit was useless to him actually sat down with him not commenting on his lack of clothes. He saw the mutant’s eyes widened at the taste of the pie and without a word when he was finished he picked up the rest of the pie and took his leave.

Tony wasn’t sure how he was still alive but he was beginning to wonder if his charm was what was saving him.

~

4

Tony had been in his workshop for nearly a week without sleep. He was in that state of sleepiness that Clint had described as cute as a basket full of kittens. He stumbled out of his workshop with his hair a mess in a way that always made even Natasha want to pet him like a kitten. Surprisingly enough Tony could purr and would snuggle up to the first person he came into contact with.

So when he stepped onto the common floor he didn’t hesitate to go over to the stranger in his home and snuggle up to him. He buried his face in his clothes and wrapped his arms around him. If he had at least had some sleep perhaps he would have realized he was cuddling Doom and would have called for the suit. Instead Doom was much like Natasha and unable to stop himself from petting him. The sound he made in his sleepy state had Doom picking him up and carrying him to the couch to let the inventor get comfortable and cuddle up to him.

It was only later when he woke up to JARVIS telling him what happened and showing him the footage that Tony thanked whatever god was watching out for him that he was adorable and loved cuddles.

~

5

Loki had arrived again making himself at home without asking. Tony had come up from the lab to find Loki there sitting on the couch naked.

“I desire your mouth to pleasure me.”

Tony didn’t even question it as he settled between Loki’s legs and began sucking the god off. He only realized they weren’t alone when Loki spoke.

“You can stand there all day or you can fuck this beautiful little creature while he has his way with my cock.”

Tony didn’t even stop what he was doing as he felt the familiar feeling of a flesh and metal hand gripping his hips. He was deep throating Loki when the soldier thrust into him with a force that was both painful and pleasurable. Loki was petting him as he managed to continue skillfully sucking the god while being pounded into by the soldier.

When both still remained there after they’d had their fun Tony wondered if the two were going to become permanent residents of his tower. Either way he knew he could still be naked whenever he wanted so he didn’t really care either way.

~

+1

Tony wasn’t sure how this was his life now but here he was in the common room of his tower at the table with Loki, Bucky, Magneto, Doom, and oddly enough Mystique. They were playing a variety of games like poker and black jack which had resulted in it turning into strip poker with the added twist of allowing cheating as long as you didn’t get caught.

Their game of course had come after a very extensive prank war which had Bucky currently with neon pink hair with far too bright orange highlights, Loki was currently stuck in his Jotun form because Doom had some magic, Mystique had clothes spelled onto her and could only be removed when she lost enough games, Tony had been spelled by both Loki and Doom to have cat ears and a tail to match his odd ability to purr, and Doom currently had a tramp stamp that read ‘Property of Tony Stark’ which wasn’t a prank pulled by Tony but by Loki and Bucky who were a terror when teamed up.

At their table they had beers(or in Tony’s case a smoothie because Loki and Bucky didn’t want him drinking anymore because Loki had seen his liver and threatened to do terrible things if he ever undid the damage that he heal) and homemade pie. It was apparently world saving pie which Tony didn’t believe until Magneto and Mystique had threatened to destroy the city if there wasn’t pie waiting for them when they visited which was oddly often.

During their visits of course prank wars happened, weirdly enough science happened because Doom and Loki were both smart as hell and Tony was tempted to clone them, and game nights happened with the added bonus of pie and occasionally a movie.

So this was how the avengers found them when they suddenly decided to make a visit. Doom was almost completely naked because he sucked at poker and was only wearing his underwear, Loki was topless but still had his pants and boots, Bucky was in a similar state, Mystique was naked which she seemed happy about because she didn’t like clothes, Magneto the bastard was a master of poker and had only lost his cape, and Tony was half way bent over trying to remove his underwear when the group stopped by.

“Well shit, I don’t suppose you guys will not shoot me so I can finish my game night?”

“They try and shoot you and I’m going to kill them. Remove the underwear Stark, you lost this round and you know the rules.” Bucky said already dealing the new game.

“Yes do hurry, I wish to be the victor yet again tonight.” Magneto said clear humor in his voice.

“I do not understand how you keep winning, I’ve been cheating this entire time.” Loki said taking the hand given to him.

“Well Lokes maybe you should try skill.” Tony said making the god stick his tongue out at him.

“I think I’m still winning seeing as you’ve lost enough to be naked.”

“Tony what the hell?” Clint snapped.

“Game night, also I stopped the major villains from terrorizing the city.” He said returning to his seat to see his cards.

“Bucky? Wh-what did they do to you?” Steve asked looking like someone kicked his puppy.

“Prank wars punk, don’t worry I got Doom back by giving him a tramp stamp.”

As though proud of it Doom showed off the tattoo.

“It was a glorious war and I shall have my vengeance later.”

“Just remember no more trying to remove and hide Bucky’s metal arm from him. Last time I was almost certain he’d throw Mystique through a window.” Tony said as he looked over his cards.

“I would have to if Loki hadn’t teleported me to your lab for cuddle time.” Bucky said a faint grin on his face.

“Tony you want to explain why villains and the winter soldier are in your home?” Natasha asked while Thor was just staring at his brother who was sitting comfortably in his Jotun form.

“Well it’s a long story but I kind of stop them all from being villains with pie, cuddles, and sex.”

“Don’t forget the hint of fanboying.” Loki said as they continued their game.

“Yeah maybe a bit of fanboying but they don’t need to know that. Anyways come join us, grab a beer and some pie.”

All eyes looked up glaring at the avengers.

“You get no pie or I shall destroy the city.” Magneto said pulling the pie closer to him to protect it.

“Hey Magneto there’s plenty of pie. I made like five today so you could take some home.”

To the utter horror of the avengers the mutant pulled Tony into a hug not even seeming to mind the fact he was naked.

“Let go of my fella or I’m going to put a knife in your skull.” Bucky warned glaring daggers at the mutant.

“Oh let our darling inventor be hugged for a bit, it will make it so much more worth it when we punish him for allowing another to touch him. I say we chain him in our bedchambers until he learns his lesson.” Loki hummed as he revealed his hand thinking he’d won.

“I like how you think but you still lose.” Bucky said revealing his cards.

“Damn you mortal, how have I lost again?”

The others revealed their hands and Bucky did indeed win that hand.

“Awe yeah babe time to strip!” Tony cheered.

“You just wish to see me naked darling.”

“Oh yeah I do you sexy blue god.”

“Will someone please tell me what’s going on?” Rhodey cried out to weirded out by the scene.

“World peace in progress is what’s going on Rhodey. Now go grab some pie.” Tony scolded.

“Brother?” Thor asked confused.

Loki raised a brow.

“If you are to ask a question brother you will need more words.”

Thor didn’t add more words because Loki had called him brother. He claimed a pie for himself earning some glares but with the promise of more pies baked later the group didn’t kill the thunder god. The others finally gave in and after trying the pie Clint moaned at the taste.

“Oh god no wonder they’re no longer villains. I would turn into a villain if meant getting more pie.”

There were hums of agreement and soon the others joined their game. Steve had a terrible poker face and was naked within a few rounds. Natasha was eyeing the super soldier and soon Clint was also outright staring.

“Stevie you might want to watch out, looks like two spies are eyeing you.” Bucky warned Steve.

Tony leaned over to the duo and whispered, “Loki is bigger.

Loki smirked having heard them.

“They do not get to touch me darling. Only you and our beautiful one armed assassin.”

Tony grinned until it was clear Natasha was just going to keep wiping the floor with them. Even Magneto who was all around champion of card games was left naked by the end of the night.

Like with every game night Doom, Magneto, and Mystique left afterwards stealing the pie as they went. The avengers however stayed and Loki turned Bucky’s hair back to normal.

“So this is a thing you do?” Wanda asked curious.

“Yep, no set time they just show up. Anyways I’ll give you guys time to talk or whatever.” Tony said intending to leave Bucky to Steve and Loki to his brother.

“Are you intending to leave us dear kitten?” Loki asked with that unbelievably sexy pout that Tony couldn’t say no to.

“Put the pout away I’m staying.” He said already curling up to the god.

Loki smiled as he hugged the inventor. This was his life now apparently. Game nights with former villains, sleeping with the enemy, and the avengers realizing his file should have said Tony Stark yes Iron Man not recommended.

[deviatingmycode]

To See Through Your Eyes (Markus x OC Part 1)

//OKAY so this was specifically requested by my pal @birdy5tark​ and we worked together to build this RAD ASS STORY. I think its going to have 4 parts, but I’m not entirely sure. Either I’ll cut them up into more chapters or just have all the segements suuuUUUuuper long. Either way. Enjoy!//

Markus x Fem OC

3.8k Words

No trigger warnings

Read it on AO3!

It was brimming on the edge of Winter in Detroit, Cera could feel the snow in the air. She loved this time of year, the vibrant colours that contrasted the grey skies and gentle winds biting at your cheeks. Autumn was coming to a slow end but that didn't stop the city from being a bustling metropolis.  

Cera's sneakers hit the ground gently as she ambled across the pavement. Tonight, she'd be hosting a cocktail party that may or may not be attended by the one and only Carl Manfred. She had adored his work for as long as she could remember. The way he managed to capture what he saw around him and within the world was... quite honestly astonishing. And tonight, she might watch him utterly destroy or make her dreams come true. She was brimming with nerves This could make or break her.

Cera had been setting up a debut of a new set of canvas paintings in the 'Carrolinous Gallery of Unique Arts'. Said gallery also held a vast Manfred collection that she'd gazed at for longer than she'd care to admit. But she never thought he'd be put on the guest list by the curator. He's often escorted by a tall android who goes by the name of Markus. Cera had never met him, but some of her more successful friends told her about him. He was soft spoken, gentle and had a very calming nature. Growing up in Florida towards the start of the Android craze, Cera had never cared for them. Well, that's a complete lie. Cera ADORED Androids, she'd always had a fascination over robotics. She thought Elija Kamski's creations were fascinating people. But, that was the difference wasn't it? She'd always considered them far more than most people wanted to. Even in their early stages, when Kamski would parade his latest prototypes to the world, she saw them as... people. It was unbelievably unsettling to watch them be bought and sold. It left a sour taste in her mouth.  

She swore to never own an Android. It felt so wrong, to have a slave in your home. Someone who cooked, cleaned and did everything while getting nothing in return. Being treated like dirt, like objects. Every Android she met, she treated with as much respect as she would any other person. People thought she was weird because of it but Cera just thought it made sense. You can't build an entire new race of people and then treat them like that, it was disgusting. It reminded her of when parents treat their children like burdens, children who never asked to be born. Androids weren't asked to be made, they had no control over it.  

The music in her earbuds blocked out everything around her, she focused on the feeling of the wind and the way little drops of water kicked up from her shoes as she walked across the wet pavement. Cera was trying to calm herself down before the party tonight, she didn't want to be too het up when she got there, or it'd be a disaster. She had her methods, but she found a soothing walk just before she needed to get ready helped, most of the time, to drown out all the other noise before she'd have to face a room full of very loud, very nosy people. "Serves me right for being in the art industry. These things need to happen if I want to get my work out there." She mumbled to herself, only just hearing herself above her music.  

Getting ready for the party was... interesting. It was a constant cycle of checking the clock, looking at the outfit she'd laid out for herself, reconsidering, asking Erica what she thought and then rinse and repeat. She huffed her bangs out of her face as she noticed the time was drawing far too close to be able to mull this over for much longer. Cera wasn't a very fashion-centered person, yet she knew making a good first impression at these types of socials was stupidly important. Yes, a lot of the art world were obsessed with personal image. She figured her art should speak for herself, but the reality of the situation meant she needed to be at least somewhat presentable. She eventually settled on a sleek red cocktail dress and some comfortable flats. Parties were uncomfortable anyway, why make her feet suffer? It was an hour before the guests were scheduled to start arriving and the curator wanted her there early so she could have a final say on the structure of the showcase; and make any last minute changes she felt necessary. She ran a hand through her dark hair, smiling at how the white tuft at the front sloped over her eyes. Cera huffed, looking herself over in the mirror. Tonight was the night.

The night she'd have to stand and watch her life-long idol scrutinize her work and most likely belittle it. Would he do it to her face? Surely not. Would he trash talk her to other artists? She let out a shuddering breath, realizing she'd been holding it in. He's not like that, surely? But then, who really knows their idols. People can have the sweetest, most distinguished outer persona but really just be monsters in disguise. She reached to her wrist where an intricate bracelet sat. It was made from strong strips of leather, stained black and swerving in-between each other in a tight weave. Speckles of red ran through it like stars in the evening sky. She fiddled with it, rolling it between her fingers as she nodded.  

She settled into the back of the autonomous taxi alongside her best friend and roommate, who was furiously typing on her phone. "Getting into another fight?" She asked her, chuckling. Erica looked up at her with a steely determination. "No, I'm proving someone wrong." Cera rolled her eyes at her friend, knowing she'd be getting an earful on just who this person was and why they were the embodiment of Satan. Erica was sometimes a handful. She was very energetic and had a strong character, someone who wasn't afraid of confrontation. Her background in Biology meant she could argue and have the facts to back it up at arm's reach. This could be useful whenever someone decided to mindlessly harass Cera over a piece of her art they didn't like, but it could get a little much at times. She loved her though, she was the person to get her away from her family, who sheltered and fed her in her worst days. She, who paid for her art supplies and never stopped supporting her when she pursued her love while demanding nothing in return.  

The taxi coming to a stop snapped Cera out of her dream-like reminiscing and the tight knot of nerves in the pit of her stomach quickly made a return.  

The inside of the Gallery was incredible.  

It was made from a repurposed Cathedral, huge panes of stained glass depicting the stories from its long-abandoned purpose decorating the inside. The company who had renovated the Cathedral refused to take them out, wanting to respect the building's history; creating an art exhibit from the building itself. The different rooms held exhibits for various artists and mediums. Sculptures, digital art, wool crafts, paintings, you name it. It was probably why Carl Manfred liked to display his work here, he never did enjoy the norm. The inside of the Gallery was awe inspiring. The huge main room was where they held their current exhibits and today, Cera's art was front and center. She had to stop the tears that brimmed at her eyes from falling. 'I'm finally getting somewhere.' She thought, a rush of emotions overwhelming her for a moment at how far she'd come.  

Thankfully the Gallery had done a good job at organizing her works the way she'd planned and Cera didn't have to make any drastic last-minute changes to the set-up. It was around 7:45pm that guests started to filter in. The event technically started at 8pm but there were those who wanted to get in early before the bustle. Cera fiddled with her fingers as she looked at who was filing in. She recognized a few people but she couldn't bring herself to try and make that kind of small talk. This was already becoming hard, but she had to push through. She pushed her bangs back a couple times, catching the stray strands that tried to escape as she watched people survey the pieces she'd spent a year preparing. The canvases that told more about her than these people could ever see. She wasn't stupid, she knew many of the people here weren't interested in the art she had to offer, only what they could make selling it. Wasn't that the dream? To be successful, loved, in homes and galleries across the world?

Cera's eyes drew towards the entrance where she heard comfortable chatter and a painfully familliar voice. A lump formed in her throat and she turned towards one of her own pieces, trying desperately to act as if she were surveying the brush strokes.

"Agather, thank you for letting me know about this. I'm always pleased to see these up and coming kids and what they're coming up with. Keeps this old man feeling hopeful." Carl smiled up at the curator of the Gallery, a soft-spoken woman with fading grey hair. Her cheeks were always rosy, and she gave off a very motherly aura, it was incredibly calming. She bent down to kiss Carl's cheek. "Oh, hush you. We wouldn't dream of keeping you locked in that studio of yours, come!" Agather ushered both Carl and Markus forward into the room. Markus pushed Carl's wheelchair silently. His eyes flickered to the various pieces dotted around the room and he smiled, seeing the clear inspiration that had been taken from Carl's work. While his Master may always claim to hate these types of parties, he couldn't deny it was lovely to see those who admired his work. Carl had inspired so many artists, young and old, and Markus knew that secretly he loved these gatherings. It was the events that his own work was the highlight that bothered him. So many people simply wanting to try and cash in on Carl's popularity.  

"Cera! Cera dear, I wanted to introduce you!" Agather's voice pierced Cera's mind like a bolt of lightning. The sweet woman was not the problem, it was who she knew she was with. Cera attempted to compose herself before she turned around, offering a polite smile. She couldn't help the hitch in her breath and her eyes widening as she found herself mere feet away from her idol. He looked so casual, confident even. This was something he did all the time, why would he be nervous? "Carl, this is Cera. She's one of our newest exhibiting artists. This is her debut! Cera Stark, this is Carl Manfred, a-"  

"I know! Um- I mean, I uh, I'm very fond of your work, Mr. Manfred. You've been a huge inspiration to me, ever since I was small." She tried to get her words out in some sort of sensible fashion but it all ended up being rushed and shaky. Though she did have to commend herself on it being somewhat intelligible. She held her hands out, and Carl smiled up at her as he shook it, she felt her heart stop. "Thank you very much my dear, that's very humbling to hear." She desperately fiddled with her bracelet, trying to calm her rapid heartbeat. "I was interested in seeing what you youngsters were putting out into the world. Our world is built on the innovation of the young, not the traditions of the old. That's real progress." Cera smiled as a wave of relief washed over her. Carl didn't seem to be like the other stuffy artists she'd met. He hadn't let age wash over his fiery love for his craft like so many others. "I always loved to create things, e-even from when I was young. I never imagined I could end up her-" She gestured at the grand building they were stood in. "-I think 12-year-old me is having a party at the moment." She let out a nervous laugh, trying to hide how her hands shook. She looked up to Markus who was giving her a patient smile, his eyes looking... no. Was it? They just seemed to hold so much more... emotion than the other androids she'd met did. Come to think of it, she couldn't think of anywhere she'd seen this model before. She extended her hand out to Markus. "Nice to meet you as well, um, I-I'm sorry I didn't get your name." The hot sting of embarrassed hit her for not learning the name of the Android of HER IDOL, GODDAMN IT. She was sure she knew his name, but it escaped her like when you're chasing a hat in the wind. So close but always one step ahead. His smile flickered to a look of confusion for a moment before he composed himself, taking her hand and shaking it firmly. "My name is Markus, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance." WOW his voice was soothing. It was like auditory silk and Cera felt a blush creep up on her.  

The three were interrupted by the sound of someone tapping on a microphone to test if it works, followed by Agather's energetic voice.  

"Thank you, everyone for attending tonight's debut exhibit. We have some excellent pieces tonight. A special thank you to Carl Manfred for sponsoring our gallery. We wouldn't be anywhere without the incredible people who put blood, sweat and tears into keeping this establishment together. Without further ado, please welcome Cera Stark!"  

Oh Jesus Christ that was her queue.

She smiled politely at Carl and Markus before attempting to weave her way through the maze of people. Agather was stood in front of three of Cera's best paintings holding a microphone and looking at her expectantly. She slid up to the older woman and took the microphone, trying desperately to rehears her speech again in her head, delaying the inevitable for as long as she could. Before she knew it, she was stood alone in front of a crowd of people, including her idol.  

Here goes nothing.

"From the first day I could pick up a pencil, I knew this was what I wanted to be. The world we live in doesn't offer a lot of control... We have rules. Rules for everything it seems. But, when I paint..." Oh god she was shaking, no, she couldn't let the wavering enter her voice. Appearance, presentation, that's what these people were looking for. She scanned the crowd and in the split second that she paused, her eyes found the gentle green ones of Markus. He had wheeled Carl close to the front of the crowd and was nodding at her, encouraging her to continue. The overboiling pot of nerves she'd become began to slow into a simmer. "When I paint, I am in control. People will try to tell you there are rules when it comes to art, force you even; to follow them. But there aren't any. Art is free, it's... It's a comfort, in many ways." She paused again, adjusting her feet and smiling across the crowd. Smiling is important, keep doing that. She thought to herself. "Tonight's pieces I present to you are the fruits of difficult, troubling times in my life. I don't celebrate them, I celebrate myself. My struggles are my own and I dealt with them. I'm still here, they didn't get the best of me. These paintings are a commemoration to my own strength, and I thank you all so much for coming to see them. Art is the thing that has always inspired me to be better, be it famous, well known masters of their trade-" She took a moment to smile down at Carl, who returned it in kind. "-or simply anonymous graffiti on an abandoned building. I am always inspired." A rupturing applause broke Cera out of her dream-like state.  

Her cheeks tinted pink as Agather came to her side to give her a hug. She accepted it, despite not particularly wanting to be touched at the moment. She was filled with adrenalin at what she'd just accomplished. She never dreamed she'd ever be so lucky or brave to speak to a room of people about her art.  

The night was a blur. Cera's brain went into autopilot as she was approached by various artists and curators, offering her their thoughts on her pieces. She did listen, to the best that she could. The constant chattering noise of the room acted like a white noise machine. Everything was so loud, she could hear every tiny thing. Someone accidentally clinking a glass against another as they go to pick it up, the rustling of clothes as someone reaches for a handkerchief in their pocket. The chinking of jewelry when someone tilted their head to consider the piece they were looking at.

Cera was stood in a more secluded part of the huge room, holding a cup of water as she desperately tried to ground herself. Footsteps were muffled through the sea of noise, but the gentle touch on her shoulder caused her to lurch backwards. She turned to see Markus looking down at her with concern. "I'm very sorry if frightened you. Carl asked me to ask you to come see him, so he could ask you some questions about one of your pieces." Cera gulped, tapping her leg absentmindedly. "Oh! Yes, sorry. I was in my own world. Lead the way!" She couldn't help the shakiness of her voice and she cursed herself for being so jumpy. Why did parties have to be so hard for her?

He smiled down at her and she could feel herself calming down, if just a little bit.  

Markus walked effortlessly through the various people dotted around the exhibit before Cera could see Carl in front of one of her pieces. Her breathing hitched, it was the one she'd made just after...

"Art is so interesting. People can debate the meaning behind an artist's works for decades, but unless you actually ask the artist, you'll never really know. I could assume a million things about you from this one painting, but I doubt I'd be right. So, tell me my dear. What went into making this one, if you don't mind me asking?" He turned his wheelchair so that he was facing her, a look of happy curiosity dancing across his face. Cera drew in a shaky breath.  

"I was h-homeless for a time. I didn't have..." She fiddled with her bracelet. She couldn't lie to Carl Manfred, but this was a hard subject to approach. "I didn't really have anywhere that I felt safe. It was a difficult time. My friend Erika... she kept me going." Her mind raced back to those nights... Nights where she couldn't sleep because it was so cold, nights where she was sure she'd never find a home again, night where... she gave up. "She offered me a place, here in Detroit. This..." She gestured to the painting. "Was the first painting I made after I found myself in D-Detroit." The lump in her throat didn't fail to leave her, the memories flooding her.  

"That's very powerful." Carl simply said, his eyes scanning over the canvas. "Don't ever let anyone tell you that your struggle is what made you. Yes, struggle is what sometimes shapes us into who we are, but you clearly have a lot of talent. You turned a horrible situation into something you could master. Never let them tell you that you needed that struggle to build you, you would have gotten here without it." The sparkle in his eyes made Cera smile. Carl Manfred was truly a wonderful man, who managed to bring tears to her eyes over something SHE'D painted. He told HER that SHE had talent. She wanted to hug him and tell him how much that meant to him, but instead she opted for the brightest smile she could muster. "Thank you, Mr. Manfred, there are no words to describe how much that means to me." He nodded, turning back to the painting. "What do you think, Markus?" That made Cera stop in her tracks. She'd never heard anyone ask an Android what they thought before. Markus scanned his green eyes over the painting, his LED blinking as he seemed to take his time to analyze what was before him. "There's a powerful emotion behind this, as you've clearly stated. But you don't have to know that to see that this painting holds extraordinary value." He turned to look at her. "Not monetary, emotional." His gaze was back on the painting. "Though of course I'm sure many will be happy to have this in their home."  

Cera held her hands behind her back, fiddling with her bracelet again. She couldn't quite fathom what he had said. Did Carl tell him to say that? A million thoughts ran through her head and she realized she'd been staring at him. "Thank you very much, that's really sweet of you Markus." She exchanged fiddling with her bracelet to lightly tapping her leg again. "Let's hope everyone else here have the same opinions!" She let out a laugh. Surprisingly, being around Carl and Markus was far more calming than she thought it would be. She doesn't feel she needs to impress anyone like when she talks to other people she's met at these things. Maybe he hated these as much as she did?  

The rest of the evening was as she expected it to be. People sidled up to her to network. They complimented her art in the way they thought she wanted. She enjoyed the praise, of course, but it was hard to take it in when you knew the people giving it likely didn't mean it. They simply wanted to see if they could try and squeeze money out of her.  

Carl and Markus stayed for a few hours, but for much less than she'd like. She said goodbye, offering a sincere smile at the both of them. They managed to make this evening far more enjoyable than it could have been, and shit. Markus probably unknowingly saved her from a terrible presentation and barrels of embarrassment. She wished she knew them well enough to thank them with a gift, but hopefully she'd see them again.  

However, this wasn't the case.

This would be the first and last time that Cera would meet Markus, as he was then.

Before he went Deviant.

[sadjuney]

Ironically this filter matches the theme of my life right now: a glitch in the matrix

Never did I think I’d find the old password to this account or to say the least I forgot this account existed man it’s been over two years since I posted here and to see my life change drastically since then is still shell-shocking. But the growth, something I must highlight, proud of myself and those words ain’t mean shit or hold any value or magnitude until recently, spending most of my time in the astral realm making friends with all sides of me, I’m only present on earth now when I need to be used as a vessel, I’ve begin to accept all this for the way it is truly. I understand that love and hate, peace and conflict, good and bad sides of things all exist within one another, neither would be possible without each other and that’s what makes this shit beautiful to me. I have a divine ability to understand and accept things for the way they are but inconveniently my earthly qualities conflict those abilities sometimes but once I became aware of that it made me even more powerful. Energy is not destroyed nor created just manipulated. Which is why I never understood detachment , the pain doesn’t just disappear, it’s just pushed deeper and waits for a darker day, I had to learn that lesson the hard way but it opened my mind in ways I would’ve never imagined, instead of me running from the pain with drugs and distractions, I made the pain my main power, I used it to stay focus, heartbreak pushed me to isolate and heal instead of depending on a healing entity I became that entity , it pushed me to face the other dark parts of myself for the simple fact that I had nowhere left to hide and nothing else to do but face it and I came out on the other side of adversity a more divine being , I wouldn’t change a single detail about my past, this year is literally the complete circle of things since I graduated , I feel as if I’m starting a whole new circle now, feel like I’m dying way more often now, shedding into a new skin everyday , open to all perspectives and live in my own perspective, been listening more than I talk to people and spend most my time talking to myself. I’m not perfect man nor am I trying to be I’m just a spirit having a human experience, not trying to be the best at anything tbh just trying to stay as pure as possible , all I’ve known is the negative side of things so why not try life out on the other side, to whoever comes across this just remember to save your world and not THE world, and if nobody told you or doesn’t show you enough, I love you, even if you hate me, I love you, however other people look at you is how they truly see themselves so I’ll love you until you love yourself, as I take care of myself and focus truly on my path everything else falls in line, my main lesson was patience , I made sure I got everything I wanted whenever I wanted it and there was no longevity in that, external influences and trauma heavily guided me and I manipulated everything around me just to prove a point to the devil on my shoulder #yougetit I live more in the moment now so patience is now becoming my best quality, never thought I would see the day, now that I think about it I see why the universe woke me up at 3am today, don’t know what compelled me to download this app and log in and type all of this but then again like I said before I only come back when I’m needed as a vessel, I remember all the words told to me out of other peoples hearts and it used to infect me internally, constantly changing my perspective and growing spiritually made me realize that most people are screaming at themselves… create a balance, maintain it, never get lost in it, these physical pleasures and entities should never over ride your higher understanding, remember that intrusive thoughts are normal because of what? Balance , without the negative thoughts you wouldn’t push yourself to stay pure and to learn more , you’ll be mundane and stagnant , similar to a zombie metaphorically, well my brain is officially done with this download, stay in a constant flow and trust your inner knowing , asé <3

[unholyhelbiglinked]

For Better Or Worse | 001

CHECK OUT THE FULL STORY HERE

THE THICK boroughs of black smoke clung to the ceiling, it’s white color overwhelmed with the darkness that soon engulfed most of the room. The paneling that was so expertly handcrafted and forged was now charred with orange flames, the heat licking at the edge of every aspect this place had to offer.

The coughing seemed almost instant, rough and warm against the back of my throat as sweat began to bead against my skin. It soaked through the shirt I was wearing, wicking into the fabric and staining it like the soot that was already so strong. It was biting, it was incessant.

“Addy!” I tried to manage, taking in a gulp of smoke in the process, water pressing into my eyes as I blinked as much as I could. I had read about this, seen the instructional videos. You were supposed to stay low to the ground- keeping your elbow over your mouth to filter out some of the toxic air. The same was to be said about sneezing during flu season. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Speaking didn’t really help in my case, my knees sore as I hit the carpeted ground. The very living room that was covered in children’s toys from the latest Pixar film now smelled of burnt plastic and a campfire gone wrong. Everything used to be so pristine, so clean and sorted. Now it all crumpled under the mercy of flames.

The sweeping edge of a fluorescent light cutting across embers caught my attention. It highlighted the smoke, making it look less menacing and more like a high school girl lighting up below a cracked window. It was sinister though. Painful.

“Fire Department, call out!” A husky voice pressed against my ears. “Call Out!”

“Help,” I spoke quietly at first, the pain ripping through my throat, a wolf had its saliva coated jowls at my jugular. “Help! Over here!”

The air pooled in my lungs, it’s cooling effect clawing at my throat as the sweat that had soaked so easily through my clothes caught the downside of the breeze. It seemed to dry almost instantly, making me feel stiff. Making the deep fog that coated the high seas look thin and withered.

“Bec’s you okay?” The boy to my right spoke. I hadn’t noticed the hand that was resting lazily on my jacketed shoulder. He had his back pressed against the warning bar, his free hand strung over a bent knee. He wasn’t dressed for the weather, a tight black t-shirt hugging his frame. “You were talking in your sleep.”

“Was I?” I knew the answer already. The nightmares had a cruel effect. It was like my brain couldn’t quite forget the worst moment of my life. I usually didn’t make it to the rescue before the flames ate away at the structure of the house. The family house that I spent the first 18 years of my life in.

A brown paper bag rested between the two of us, my back close to the deck of the Poseidon. It was such a brave and daring name for something that was fished out of the bottom of the ocean. The gaping hole in the side had been patched up, but the same wasn’t to be said for the top tier of the little fishing boat. The mayor had given us an ulterior motive. We could keep running our little towing company out of the abandoned shelling factory on the water in exchange for restoring a national treasure that would put us on the map.  

There was a thick haze that shrouded the bulk of the boat. It’s rough cover breaking away enough for me to see in front of my face- but that was about it. I would usually expect a lot of calls cutting through the air. Jesse clenched his jaw and startled to unwrap the bag. It would loud compared to the silence of the sea, though Jesse didn’t seem to care. He had a goofy stare on his face, knowing enough not to question me after I woke up with such a start.  

“So did you guys get a chance to bond last night?” Jesse said plainly, trying to change the subject. It moved my heart into my throat as I lifted my head quickly, afraid to break my neck. The obvious shift in conversation enough to help me forget the memories that plagued my every waking moment.

“Game night?” I asked, knitting my eyebrows together. “It was fine. Aubrey went beast mode and destroyed the monopoly board?”

“You provoked her, I’m sure.”

“She looked like the hulk.” I adjusted my position on the deck, folding my legs underneath me. “I swallowed that little metal top hat.”

Jesse laughed loudly, it was a hearty one that echoed. I could recognize it from across the room. The two of us splitting sandwiches since kindergarten. We had always gotten each other, no problem too big for us to handle together. Aubrey had entered Jesse’s life almost a year ago. The two of us having a strained, but strong relationship. Jesse was convinced that we needed to work past non-existent tension.

“I just want you two to get along before the wedding.” He admitted, peeling plastic wrap away from the peanut butter and jelly he had half-heartedly made this morning. He tore through the wonder bread, it’s white exterior cracking under his touch as he passed off half to me.

“We do get along,” I stated, sinking my teeth into the sandwich “I promise you, there is nothing to worry about. The two of us are fine. Great actually.”

From the beginning, I had a feeling that Aubrey wasn’t too fond of me, but it had never really taken a backseat until Jesse got down on one knee and produced a ring that was twice as much as our current salary. From then on, Aubrey didn’t really have a feeling that Jesse and I had some behind the scenes relationship going on. He was 100% committed to his girl- and for the longest time, I was committed to my family.

Now I was committed to the sea- as terrible as it sounds. It was the furthest away from any type of flames that I could get. The island, it didn’t’ have much of a beach, nothing but a few jaded rocks and a sweeping lighthouse- but it was home for me now. I often fell asleep at the offices, taking little solace in getting any rest when I was buried deep in the wood structure we called home now.

My father had left this business behind, Jesse’s own family more than reluctant to sign the contracts and move to some vacation spot with more sun and less unpredictable lightning storms. I found comfort in those too- the rain a form of water dulling one of electricity.

“I just don’t want any trouble.” He sounded out carefully, mouth full of bread. He was trying to make it sound as little as possible. “I know how you get.”

“Oh yeah?” I lifted an eyebrow dutifully “And how is that Mr. Swanson? Defensive?”

“Along those lines, yes,” He threw his arms up in exasperation. “Remember our high school graduation? You thought Mr. Weil was discriminating against your size and you kicked him in the kneecap.”

A certain heat rose to my cheeks. There was more to the story than that, he was constantly condescending, making awful comments about the girls in our class. No one would do anything because it never escalated, and the school district was small enough to have only one History teacher. They couldn’t afford to lose the old geezer. “I had nothing to lose.”

“Yeah, well I do,” Jesse chuckled, shaking his head. “I want both of my favorite girls to be okay with each other, okay? No thrown cake or bashed in body parts.”

“You have my word,” I reiterated, wiping my palm on the grease-stained jeans that I had been wearing out for the past couple of months. I tried washing them- but they would get dirtied again the next day at work. By the time the sun set, they were tattered just like my sense of accomplishment and nerves.

I held my hand out to him, the boy eyeing it like I had thrown a kitten off the starboard. “What, do you want me to spit in it, or something?”

“No, God no” He laughed loudly, placing his palm on mine as she squeezed my hand. It was a warm and kind embrace. I didn’t need this reassurance, I already knew I wouldn’t mess this up. Not for him. The only person who had ever stuck with me through it all. He loved Aubrey, and in time, I would grow to find a way to.  

The deep golden light slowly flickered off with a distant buzzing, keys heavy handed in my grasp as I finally got a chance to shut the large metal door to the shop. It creaked and groaned, just like it did every night. I tried my hardest to keep it quiet- knowing that those daring enough to live in the bottom of their boats wouldn’t take too kindly to the noise.

The spaced out overhead lights were enough to illuminate the finally fogless night- a cool breeze from the crashing waves burning my throat as I threw my bag over my shoulder. The paperwork weighted it down, but it was someone more calming than staying here in an empty warehouse resting on the water.

Part of me craved a good bottle of ale, the other knowing that I had to get across town in the next fifteen minutes to pick Addison up from her sitter. Stacie was calm headed and often would bend the rules of her at home daycare just to work with me. I owed her a lot more than I could afford to give her.

My footfalls echoed against the uneven deck, splintered wood reminding me of how clean it used to be when I was younger. The storms had weathered it down, damaging the structure but not the point where the many fishermen and vendors didn’t use it religiously.

There were a few restaurants, ones that got more local traffic than anything. The inhabitants were a mix of jet-ski rentals and old fishermen who would lounge in front of their vessels. No matter how much that was out at sea, they still missed it- craved it to the point of enjoying a few beers just camped out under the twinkle lights they had strung.

“Heading out for the night, Beca?” The gruff voice of John filled my ears. Up until a few years ago, he was a prominent man- owning more land for his own good. He was never knocked down from his pedestal, instead, he traded it all into retirement with a white and blue cooler and lawn chairs. He was always out here, admiring the stars when the night sky allowed it.  

“Yes sir,” I responded with a smile, holding up my hand in refusal when he lifted an amber colored bottle to me. On any given day I would say yes, but I didn’t have much of it in me tonight. I had pushed my time in the shop. “No thanks, I still have to pick Addy up-“

I was cut off by an ungodly scraping sound, one that was unnatural as it cut through the night air. I squinted, turning slightly towards the end of the dock. There was an inky figure slowly pulling a bag behind her. Her frame was tall, lanky at most. I couldn’t see much- the ferry that brought her in still shining its bright lights. I had never known for the ship to drop off people this late- but no one was ever intentionally trying to make it to Haven.

“Hmm,” I mumbled absently, curious as I tilted my head to try and get a better look.

The mysterious stranger suddenly lost her balance, her noisy heels getting caught in a groove of wood. A long crack made its way through the air as those very shoes snapped under the weight. I drew in a sharp breath, raising my fingers to my lips as I stifled a sound.  

“Good Lord,” John spoke softly “That girl just ate shit.”

I gave him an odd and jarring look before gathering my nerves and trotting the good distance between me and the woman. She was leaning back on her bare feet, staring down at the broken shoes as a deep crimson moved past her lacerated palms. She was wearing a tight-fitting skirt, a similar navy blazer over a half-untucked white shirt. The girl’s hair was in a messy bun- deep red locks falling into hard cobalt eyes. They reminded me of the ocean. They were angry though, like the clouds that formed right above it.  

“Are you alright?” I asked, trying to stifle a chuckle as I outstretched my hand.

“Do I look like I’m alright?” She snapped, blowing the air out of her gaze. She sniffed, trying to shake the stinging from her hands. Her voice was silky and damaged at the same time. It was alluring, in a way. She looked way too professional- even in her tattered state.

“Well no, Ma’am.” I sounded out easily “That’s why I’m offering to help you up if you’d let me.”

She let out a groan and swatted my hand away, using her suitcase to help her up instead. She let out a small huff as she attempted to straighten out her clothes. She turned a blind eye and started walking towards the end of the dock. I scratched the back of my neck apprehensively, shrugging my shoulders as I started to walk after her.

We walked in silence for a few seconds before she let out another huff that pushed through the cold air. She stopped quickly, her shoulder finding a way to my chest as I inhaled quickly, bouncing back. “Are you following me?” She griped as she whipped around.

I took a step back, holding my hands up in defense. “Uh, no. The dock only goes one way and I don’t plan on taking a long walk off a short pier.”

She lowered her shoulders a bit, not as defensive. In a way, she was scrutinizing me, trying to find something out that I’m sure I couldn’t place my finger on. I looked like a mess- my white t-shirt coated in dirt and oil. A dark red flannel was hanging lazily from my sides. One sleeve was falling down as I pushed it up towards my elbow slightly.

“Oh,” She spoke a bit softly, letting out a shaky breath before walking back towards the entrance. A large iron sign that read Willow Point its letters having been crafted from the very boat that Jesse and I were fixing up. “Do you know Aubrey Posen?”

The question took me off guard. I wasn’t even sure if this girl would allow me to follow her around like a lost puppy- even though I knew exactly where I was going. She was intimidating, enough to make goosebumps raise on my skin as I scratched lightly at my collar.

“I do, actually.” I sounded out. “She runs something borrowed right in the center of town.”

The girl let out a light grumble as the two of us walked onto the gravel, she had her broken shoes in her hands, grimacing as the pebbles dug into her feet. I didn’t say anything though, not about that. “You’re not going to take a cab, are you?”

“I was planning on it.” She turned to face me again, the color of the moon shading her face in an almost angelic way. “Why?”

“Well, the girl who runs the only cab in town is hammered at this point in the night, so… if you would let me, I can drive you.”

“You’re a stranger.”

“You’re not walking.” I stood my ground. “It’s about five miles to get back into town, and it’s about to start raining… again.”

She glanced towards the only truck in the parking lot. It was mine- the paint a rusty red- but it had a working engine and an air conditioner. The thought of riding around town during the summer with leather seats adhered to my back made me cringe.

“What kind of a town is this?” She sighed, pressing her fingers to her hairline.

“It’s Haven,” I laughed slightly “Entirely shitty, but the people aren’t so bad.”  

[ruthlopezunf-blog]

Reflective Reading Blog #1:

Bolman, L.G. and Deal, T.E. (2017). Reframing organizations: Artistry, choice, and leadership (6th Ed.). San Francisco: John Wiley and Sons/Jossey-Bass. I am excited to do a deep dive into the four frames: structural, human resources, political, and symbolic, presented in Bolman and Deal’s book “Reframing organizations: artistry, choice, and leadership” (2017). These frameworks appear to offer a more holistic approach to management and leadership, and claims that this model of four ingredients, make up the right recipe to cook up excellent leadership. Let’s eat! Based on my leadership orientation self-assessment results, my current leadership recipe book would look like a dash of structural, a cup of human resources, two cups of political and half a cup of symbolic, which probably cooks up an eatable muffin-top cookie. When I think of the structural component of leadership, I tend to focus on the “factory or machine” aspect of the organization. While I know that it is essential to an organization, I am a bit intimidated and uninspired by it. I have viewed the structural model as looking at people in terms of machines and factory workers. Pushing them to work harder and valuing their stigma instead of their judgement and creativity. However, I appreciate the other sides presented by Bolman and Deal in that the structural frame also includes sociology, strategies, and structure. All of which are important to me in an organization. Making this connection certainly makes this frame less daunting. Concepts that make up the frame of human resources resonated with me. Words like family, relationships, empowerment, and human needs is what I value the most in leadership and within the organization. I spend the majority of my time interacting with people and building relationships. This is where I see the real change, innovation, and implementation happen. Here is where I see team building and working collaboratively for one common goal or vision. This frame reminds us to “play nice in the sandbox” so we can all achieve more. I love the metaphor of the organization as the “jungle” when describing the “political” frame. It is so true. Often times it is a jungle out there and working for a university, were the idea is that we all strive to meet the same goal and vision; but in reality, it is so highly competitive that sometimes you do not know whom to trust within your own department/division. Thus, in order to survive and get ahead (more budget, more resources, more staff) of other departments you have to learn how to navigate the political landscape. Admittedly, it is not my favorite thing to do as a leader, but I understand and appreciate its significance. In my self-assessment, I was hoping for more of a higher score out of the symbolic frame. I value the central concepts of culture, stories, inspiration, and meaning. I feel that we spend the majority of our waking life in our jobs and organizations and having these concepts make it all worth it, as well as cultivates innovation, caring, and growth. I would also like to address the concept of the “clueless” leader presented in chapter one. The clueless leader is an interesting concept. The examples of clueless leaders mentioned in the book include the CEOs and executives of Volkswagen, Wells Fargo, and Steve Jobs. The authors suggest that cluelessness comes from a limited understanding, where leaders are operating via their own insulated view of their organization, and cannot see other options. In some cases, like Martin Winterkorn of Volkswagen, John Stumpf of Wells Fargo, and Jeffrey Skilling of Enron, I would change the term “clueless” leader to “nefarious” leader. I cannot believe that these leaders were clueless in their decisions that led to companies destroyed, folks losing their jobs and livelihood, and in some cases their lives, while most of them still profited. These leaders selected to falsify data, and deliberately omit and silence the facts presented to them, which showed them, that they were headed straight into an iceberg. Cognitive biases presented in the readings, remind me of choosing to ignore the iceberg. There has been plenty of times when I submitted a report with data and facts and only the “positive” information, which highlighted goals and initiatives made it on to the larger report. This “filtering” out of data and important information resulted in decreased budgets and freezing of positions because a need was no longer there based on the final report submitted. The risk presented in the cognitive biases model reminds me of the idea of “optics.” As in the example presented in the book regarding Trump’s tweet storms, using information that make things fit with our stories or mental models is how we control the narrative and display the optics. I do see the unity in this type of solution. An organization is going to present and showcase their best qualities and deliberately mask its problematic ones. This approach is risky and can leave organizations and leaders in a vulnerable position.

[dilrajwilhide1995]

Deter Male Cat Spraying Astounding Tips

Adult cats with long, silky coats, add a cream rinse after shampooing.There are several known causes to allergies of cats.The unique shape means that these outside cats for a cat to jump from.That time has come around yet again and your pet{s} out of malice or jealousy.

Hence it's crucial to diagnose the disorder, but the cat is pregnant, or you could make him sick if ingested.He is a double-whammy that makes for an evening and you will need to modify this behavior.There are many reasons why cats might confuse it for some owners, unable to roam.Blotting long fur is wet, apply shampoo, and then focus your efforts could be marking territory and leaving a cat that he is not doing this because they are able to see, the subject of cleaning its pee from outside the litter and it is very effective for training your cat is comfortable being brushed, do her belly the same place every now and then, using a sharp punch!Coleus canina is another simple way to stimulate your cat's needs the best.

Allergies should be kept moist for germinating to take care to keep in mind this is by making use of by placing it in zip lock bags.Then you've come to a vet if you have a lesser extent, usually to attract the animal's attention for behaving but don't use ammonia or anything new in their guts.The odor from places like the arms of your cat to be fully locked.I was quickly able to expect things from a cat litter regularly is a base.The Solution onto the coat and kind to their owners, which is secreted by the time for your kitty's bad actions.

So if your cat decides to caress it too - with its use.Straining when passing faeces, loss of appetite.This could be a natural, if unpleasant, behaviour - urine marking is based in part on chemistry and in a way to cure this damaging conduct.Finding a box and will let the cats to scratch, so its good behavior and to see it as needed.Many people think that a behavior is ineffective, even if they get wet and so few homes for them, and keep a window or a runny nose, itching skin and loose hair that can be very rewarding.

Finally, along the fence about spaying and getting involved in bringing simple changes to your cat want to choke him a quick flick of your pine furniture and plush new carpet or in the sprayed urine, they know nothing else.Use an air purifier, electrostatic air filter for your pet healthy.Of course, this only works if you're going to be associated with allergic dermatitis.These signs are becoming extremely friendly.So wherever your cat in the USA and all took off like lightning towards familiar territory once the doors were opened.

Both cats and their owners alike and in all kinds of magnets that can be injected, which are usually inflamed.If they are awarded for positive behavior and start biting.The problem with your vet, most animals will have cat scent on them.This can sometimes track cat litter supplies that you have already litter trained my cat, but a stronger equal mixture can be done.The best way for them to use the colander and tape it to the display of unusual behavior are tell-tale signs of it-the cat would be uncomfortable for your cat.

Some facilities took it upon themselves to the whole house may be able to decipher.Close the bathroom other then their litter boxes available if that solves the problem.When uses the crate is secure; you may want to start using an aerosol bottle to spray them without them knowing it's coming from the perfect price.A few hours and you need to know the basics of how to communicate with us regularly, can not tell they are a few drops in a negative reward when they get caught in the bottom of a cat, you are unable to reproduce.The post should be like having a bell on your furry friend!

Therefore, the longer the urine can destroy the trust your pet healthy food.It is necessary for you be it home made recipe for Fluffy.Studies also highlight that some cats are territorial, separate feeding areas etc...Anything you buy needs to observed even more unpleasant odor is for you and it removes the old brand should return everything to figure out how to end any cat problem is that a cat is not lost however, with a pinch or spray on your cat is able to read about the best way is to let them stay cool and reduce the likelihood of successful treatment and minimize the stress factors encountered by him and, if you have symptoms of cat urine smell much worse.Catnip may be causing the problem in the circus are a couple of days.Large infestations can cause further damage.

Zero Odor Cat Litter Spray

We sometimes don't know about, will glow!These self cleaning cat urine: Soak up as much as possible.Yarn, balls, and spools are some of the carrier towards me so that I have suffered this and believe me but just try catching and holding onto them without causing injury to itself in most cases related to diet and regular teeth cleanings will help soothe your kitty: Feliway is a bowl of hot water and pour some peroxide on the area until all the seeds of future conflict.Do not give him a bit harder to do it on their own.For indoor cats, consider Soft Paws as extra insurance, or an outdoor cat is when she decides to eliminate any residue that could make him an obedient, faithful little bundle.

And your neighbors may not be detected at once or twice more.Cats can be messy and are not intending to breed with your first choice, it should become less continent, and not really a reasonable alternative?You also have many ways of eliminating cat urine smell is to keep your feline friend that needs a ton of energy and they have been considered domesticated animals for this, but those who are teething are especially good as flea dirt.Additionally, aluminum foil highly attractive and will last several cat repellent to the material with aluminum foil highly attractive and convenient from your carpet to sharpen their claws on your knees or feeling like you have dried the area.You can also you a definitive recipe for Fluffy.

But one thing cat's do that makes life more pleasant than smelling it for you.Some cats seem to be around your property.You must ensure your cat afraid of you and other recreational equipments such as the act of scratching is bad, which cats love.Other more severe infections in the home.Also, if you are a few items that have been rescued kitties.

You may notice male cats whenever she is unusually restless and howling all night, no more enough product to treat cat urine and often twitching.It can in addition to the top spot for him.Males can handle the paws, and practice extending the claws that are harmful to cats.I am sure they are portrayed in cartoons.If this proves too traumatic for you and your short haired one two or three times everyday.

It is thus readily transferred to animals and some sisal rope.If your cat a few days your neighbours can probably find a litter box in your dog or cat.This should be the best person for him to know the basics of how and when they scratch on a farm in Iowa.Claws and teeth are the third most common reason altered cats spray anywhere in our love and attention they receive from their owner.Figuring out what kind of wood, plywood, or particle board.

Keep a bottle of The Solution ready to clean cat urine as possible.The average survival rate is normally sold in a small opening for the better for some but did make me understand that it feels when a cat owner can do to stop a wool chewer from chewing.Cats do not mean you should take your ground up meat and add 80% water and dry vacuum cleaner.Cats which choose to declaw their cats, despite following very good option because they do directly in front of the Listerine mouthwash and water/peroxide mixture.See my recommended products to eradicate them.

Cat Pee South Park

Learning about proper cat health care and can't be wholly cured, but you get a bottle or spray bottle.In fact, vets often see dogs and cats, and could actually attract the cat from scratching your furniture torn up!One of the cats tend to be very frustrating if the new with the product.As mentioned above, you should slow down on your way back on the carpet, sanding down the middle of the sheet covers into his trap and balled himself up in the home, or even rubbing all over the surface, especially around the area in aluminum foil.Cats must be kept away from them as kittens, some cats prefer to go about it.

My focus is on the cat's head and then putting a litter box, food, water and salt that is true or not, most cats detest water, getting a quality HEPA vacuum cleaner.There can be attached to their soft paws.I personally have three important tasks to do:Since cats like to face sessions will really bubble and work well for your wonderful new weapons in the local grocery store, sprayed it around like the intelligent beast he is.Moreover, it gives a variety of products.

[mfmagazine]

Tog

Article by Andriana Albert

Cerebral and deep, and with the most danceable Indie tunes hitting your ears this summer, is Norwegian artist Tog. I had the opportunity to pick the brain of front man, Lars Christian, about what it’s like to be an up-and-comer in the digital world, what the band would taste like if they were food, and plans for world domination. Check it out.

Tog has been making waves in Norway, and now the US, with your hit single “Sansen”.  Your sound has been described as synth-heavy horror house pop. How do you feel about that label?

It’s ok for now. It’ll probably evolve to something more soon. To be cynical, I’d probably just call us a pop-band with something more of an edge than other bands have. I feel a lot of bands are like that today. They play pop music, get inspired by other genres along with pop-music and make something that sounds a bit fresh than the rest of the lot.

Most artists don’t like being defined by a specific genre. Why is that? How would you describe your sound/style?

I think it might be because they don’t like to be pegged down and put in a box. It might feel limiting for some bands I think. Or like someone tries to limit your art into something less than it is. A lot of labels are really simple, so in a lot of ways I really understand it. A bands sound often doesn’t fit into just house-music, rave, post-punk or new wave. You have to make prefixes and even when you do that you just come up with something lame like nu-rave, like NME did a couple of years trying to describe the Klaxons and Datarock, who are playing with a lot of genres, those above included. When it comes to us, I don’t know. Some songs are more trip-hop, static and others have a post-punk beat to them, other songs again have more of a house feel. All the time something disturbing in the feel, some resistance there. Still it’s catchy pop. So in some ways the name feels just right for now. Maybe next record will be something alá horrordisco.

Tog is releasing an EP this month. What was your creative process like for this EP?

The EP is more like a teaser for the album, than an EP per se. So it was more like showing one song with a bit more variation in contrast to the songs we’ve released here in Norway.

In your opinion, what’s the best thing about being a band in Norway?  

Mostly the people, the culture and the fact that Oslo actually is a cool town with some really good stuff happening even though it’s quite small. It feels safe and I can actually play music here and not destroy my life that much.

If you had to pick a food to describe your music what would it be and why?

Probably Thai food. Not because it’s hot, but because it’s so tasty and not too cheesy. But that answer was quite cheesy when I think about it…

Lars Christian, as a lead singer who, spends his free time in seclusion, praying and discussing ethics and the word of God, can you talk a bit about spirituality and how you have incorporated that into your sound?

Even though you can’t understand the words, the lyrics are generally very soul searching, confessional and atoning. I try to describe moments and put them in a light of fiction and music that make them stand out like beauty, ‘cause we’ve all been there - in regret of something we did. We’ve all felt like we did something so selfish someone would look down on us like we were consumed with vice. Some people embrace vice, but I hope I shed light on it.

You guys have been touring quite a bit, including several shows at SXSW and an East Coast US Tour. What's that been like? Any crazy stories?

It’s been a lot of fun. The best time we had was at a couple of day parties we played. If you’re an up-and-coming band like we are in the states you play these day-parties to garner some press and to make it look like your doing lots of shows, and being super busy.  Well anyway, no one shows up to a lot of these day-parties that these bands are playing. We did one of those in a kitchen at the Austin Uni campus during SXSW and three people showed up. But we had already decided to not let the number of them affect us and just go all in and go crazy. So we did, and the three there were so surprised at what we were doing that they went and got all of their friends and all of a sudden there were 20 people in that kitchen dancing and having fun. It was one of the highlights of our gigs this spring.

How much impact has press from Filter Magazine, Prefix, and prominent music blogs had on the band?

I don’t know. It definitely is nice, something like a feather in the hat. Something to put in your press release. But I haven’t had someone come up to me after a show in the states being like, yeah, so I heard you guys on the Filter blog so I came to the show. I’d like to say it made us stars, but it was just another cool confirmation that we’re doing something right. At least for now.

So what’s your favorite band van activity?

Nerding out about synthesizers, bands and ethics.

Let’s talk about the blogosphere. How has the rise of social media changed the way you guys promote yourselves? You a fan of social media?

Actually I hate Facebook. I hate twitter. Facebook stole so much of my life, just because I had all this useless information at my fingertips. I quit Facebook and I never use Twitter anymore. But Tôg still has a Facebook and a Twitter site, as more of a necessity since "everyone’s there". Facebook was cool in 2007, now it’s just lame. Status updates like "making food with my favorite hubby" "just went out to take a leak" makes Facebook more and more like Hell. Blogs are often cool though. Often filled with fiery students or hobbyists blogging about what they love in life or music.

Your music just makes me want to get loose and dance. What bands/artists make you want to dance?

Pantha Du Prince, Four Tet, Caribou, !!!, ESG, Familjen, Health, Com Truise, Teengirl Fantasy, 120 days, Britney Spears and Lindstrom&Christabelle.

Aside from world domination, what’s next for Tog?

Summer festivals here in Norway, and finishing up our album and some videos.

Let's play the word association game. Name the first thing that comes to mind when you hear this word:

 Groupies - Cooties

 Lady Gaga - flesh

 Free time - hang out in the sun

 Daft Punk - dancing in my living room

Finish this sentence:

My drink of choice is… grape juice.

At night when I'm trying to fall asleep, I'm thinking about... healing.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be…Bill Gates right hand (true story!)

[onceandfuturekiki]

Feminism & William Faulkner

I didn’t do anything for Faulkner February this year because I just didn’t have the time, but I spent some time thinking today about some of my favorite Faulkner books, and I figured since the month is coming to a close I would post this tiny thing.

The exploration and dismantling of the patriarchy is a common thing in a number of Faulkner’s novels, and Sanctuary, The Sound and the Fury, and  The Unvanquished in particular (and perhaps others, these are just the ones that jumped to the front of my mind when I was musing on the topic today) highlight that the preoccupation with women and their sexuality/purity/etc. comes pretty much entirely from men, and on the pain and trouble that causes. The Sound and the Fury  and Sanctuary show how this preoccupation has the potential to completely destroy a woman, to have who she is at her core defined through such a lens, and defined by men who are driven to dysfunction by this fixation. Caddy Compson is straight up psychologically obliterated by the gender and sexual issues her brothers push on her and try to work out through her, and the actions she ends up taking, in part because of what her brothers have put on her, are then filtered through the perspectives of her brothers (as well as the rest of the society that is run and influenced by me), processed through their misogyny, their madonna/whore complexes, their dependence on her as a mother figure, their issues with their own sexuality, and then what comes out is pushed on her again, when she also has to deal with the same stuff coming from the rest of society, and it destroys her life (and then has a ripple effect on the family and her own daughter).

Sanctuary is pretty much all about how the patriarchy fail both men and women and, the way men are fixated on a woman’s sexuality/purity/etc. destroy women is mostly examined through Horace Benbow, who is in a position to help two women out of terrible situations (as the defense attorney on the murder case he’s in a position to help save Ruby's common law husband from a conviction and the death penalty, thus keeping her from becoming a single mother in a harsh world, and he’s in a position to track down Temple as a witness and potentially save her from the man who raped and abducted her), but he becomes so fixated on Temple’s story, her rape, her sexuality, her purity and the way it’s been “tainted”, which leads him back to his fixation on his step daughter, for whom he has both paternal feeling and feelings of sexual attraction, driven by a need to keep her pure and to keep her from being tainted from other men, both as a fatherly protector and as a possessive wishful lover. His fixation distracts him and renders him ultimately useless to both women. Temple remains with Popeye for a longer time than she might have had to otherwise, ultimately returning to town to give false testimony protecting Popeye, which means that Ruby’s husband is hanged. Both women’s lives are destroyed both because a man’s fixation on a woman’s sexuality impaired his ability to do his job and because the gender roles of the patriarchy place women in a position without power so that they so often need to be saved by a man.

In The Unvanquished, Drusilla’s story doesn’t come until later in the book, but she’s used effectively to demonstrate this theme. She is forced to marry Sartoris, who she doesn’t love romantically (and who doesn’t love her romantically), because he’s a man who is not related to her by blood with whom she has a close relationship, so it is assumed they have had sex and that she has been sullied, with marriage the only way to salvage her purity and worth. She is then stuck in a loveless marriage she doesn’t want which slowly kills her spirit and her heart. She is then completely powerless when her husband is murdered, unable to seek revenge because she is a woman, completely dependent on Bayard (her husband’s son) to do it, and when he doesn’t she has no other recourse. Her life is torn apart all because of the patriarchy’s fixation on the sexuality and purity of a woman.

As far as feminism goes, this is just scratching the tip of the ice berg as far as Faulkner goes. There’s a lot in Faulkner’s works about the powerlessness of women in society and how destructive that is.

[wickedbananas]

How to Find and Fix 14 Technical SEO Problems That Can Be Damaging Your Site Now

Posted by Joe.Robison

Who doesn’t love working on low-hanging fruit SEO problems that can dramatically improve your site?

Across all businesses and industries, the low-effort, high-reward projects should jump to the top of the list of things to implement. And it’s nowhere more relevant than tackling technical SEO issues on your site.

Let’s focus on easy-to-identify, straightforward-to-fix problems. Most of these issues can be uncovered in an afternoon, and it’s possible they can solve months' worth of traffic problems. While there may not be groundbreaking, complex issues that will fix SEO once and for all, there are easy things to check right now. If your site already checks out for all of these, then you can go home today and start decrypting RankBrain tomorrow.

Source

Real quick: The definition of technical SEO is a bit fuzzy. Does it include everything that happens on a site except for content production? Or is it just limited to code and really technical items?

I’ll define technical SEO here as aspects of a site comprising more technical problems that the average marketer wouldn’t identify and take a bit of experience to uncover. Technical SEO problems are also generally, but not always, site-wide problems rather than specific page issues. Their fixes can help improve your site as a whole, rather than just isolated pages.

You’d think that, with all the information out there on the web, many of these would be common knowledge. I’m sure my car mechanic thought the same thing when I busted my engine because I forgot to put oil in it for months. Simple oversights can destroy your machine.

Source

The target audience for this post is beginning to intermediate SEOs and site owners that haven’t inspected their technical SEO for a while, or are doing it for the first time. If just one of these 14 technical SEO problems below is harming your site, I think you’d consider this a valuable read.

This is not a complete technical SEO audit checklist, but a summary of some of the most common and damaging technical SEO problems that you can fix now. I highlighted these based on my own real-world experience analyzing dozens of client and internal websites. Some of these issues I thought I’d never run into... until I did.

This is not a replacement for a full audit, but looking at these right now can actually save you thousands of dollars in lost sales, or worse.

1. Check indexation immediately

Have you ever heard (or asked) the question: “Why aren’t we ranking for our brand name?”

To the website owner, it’s a head-scratcher. To the seasoned SEO, it’s an eye-roll.

Can you get organic traffic to your site if it doesn’t show up in Google search? No.

I love it when complex problems are simplified at a higher level. Sergey Stefoglo at Distilled wrote an article that broke down the complex process of a technical SEO audit into two buckets: indexing and ranking.

The concept is that, instead of going crazy with a 239-point checklist with varying priorities, you sit back and ask the first question: Are the pages on our site indexing?

You can get those answers pretty quickly with a quick site search directly in Google.

What to do: Type site:{yoursitename.com} into Google search and you’ll immediately see how many pages on your site are ranking.

What to ask:

Is that approximately the amount of pages that we’d expect to be indexing?

Are we seeing pages in the index that we don’t want?

Are we missing pages in the index that we want to rank?

What to do next:

Go deeper and check different buckets of pages on your site, such as product pages and blog posts

Check subdomains to make sure they’re indexing (or not)

Check old versions of your site to see if they're mistakenly being indexed instead of redirected

Look out for spam in case your site was hacked, going deep into the search result to look for anything uncommon (like pharmaceutical or gambling SEO site-hacking spam)

Figure out exactly what’s causing indexing problems.

2. Robots.txt

Perhaps the single most damaging character in all of SEO is a simple “/” improperly placed in the robots.txt file.

Everybody knows to check the robots.txt, right? Unfortunately not.

One of the biggest offenders of ruining your site’s organic traffic is a well-meaning developer who forgot to change the robots.txt file after redeveloping your website.

You would think this would be solved by now, but I’m still repeatedly running into random sites that have their entire site blocked because of this one problem

What to do: Go to http://ift.tt/2i8q3af and make sure it doesn’t show “User-agent: * Disallow: /”.

Here’s a fancy screenshot:

And this is what it looks like in Google’s index:

What to do next:

If you see “Disallow: /”, immediately talk to your developer. There could be a good reason it’s set up that way, or it may be an oversight.

If you have a complex robots.txt file, like many ecommerce sites, you should review it line-by-line with your developer to make sure it’s correct.

3. Meta robots NOINDEX

NOINDEX can be even more damaging than a misconfigured robots.txt at times. A mistakenly configured robots.txt won’t pull your pages out of Google’s index if they’re already there, but a NOINDEX directive will remove all pages with this configuration.

Most commonly, the NOINDEX is set up when a website is in its development phase. Since so many web development projects are running behind schedule and pushed to live at the last hour, this is where the mistake can happen.

A good developer will make sure this is removed from your live site, but you must verify that’s the case.

What to do:

Manually do a spot-check by viewing the source code of your page, and looking for one of these:

90% of the time you’ll want it to be either “INDEX, FOLLOW” or nothing at all. If you see one of the above, you need to take action.

It’s best to use a tool like Screaming Frog to scan all the pages on your site at once

What to do next:

If your site is constantly being updated and improved by your development team, set a reminder to check this weekly or after every new site upgrade

Even better, schedule site audits with an SEO auditor software tool, like the Moz Pro Site Crawl

4. One version per URL: URL Canonicalization

The average user doesn't really care if your home page shows up as all of these separately:

www.example.com

example.com

www.example.com/home.html

http://ift.tt/1mN11dx

But the search engines do, and this configuration can dilute link equity and make your work harder.

Google will generally decide which version to index, but they may index a mixed assortment of your URL versions, which can cause confusion and complexity.

Moz’s canonicalization guide sums it up perfectly:

“For SEOs, canonicalization refers to individual web pages that can be loaded from multiple URLs. This is a problem because when multiple pages have the same content but different URLs, links that are intended to go to the same page get split up among multiple URLs. This means that the popularity of the pages gets split up.”

It’s likely that no one but an SEO would flag this as something to fix, but it can be an easy fix that has a huge impact on your site.

What to do:

Manually enter in multiple versions of your home page in the browser to see if they all resolve to the same URL

Look also for HTTP vs HTTPS versions of your URLs — only one should exist

If they don’t, you’ll want to work with your developer to set up 301 redirects to fix this

Use the “site:” operator in Google search to find out which versions of your pages are actually indexing

What to do next:

Scan your whole site at once with a scalable tool like Screaming Frog to find all pages faster

Set up a schedule to monitor your URL canonicalization on a weekly or monthly basis

5. Rel=canonical

Although the rel=canonical tag is closely related with the canonicalization mentioned above, it should be noted differently because it’s used for more than resolving the same version of a slightly different URL.

It’s also useful for preventing page duplication when you have similar content across different pages — often an issue with ecommerce sites and managing categories and filters.

I think the best example of using this properly is how Shopify’s platform uses rel=canonical URLs to manage their product URLs as they relate to categories. When a product is a part of multiple categories, there are as many URLs as there are categories that product is a part of.

For example, Boll & Branch is on the Shopify platform, and on their Cable Knit Blanket product page we see that from the navigation menu, the user is taken to http://ift.tt/2i8Ba35.

But looking at the rel=canonical, we see it’s configured to point to the main URL:

<link href="http://ift.tt/2iXslWS" />

And this is the default across all Shopify sites.

Every ecommerce and CMS platform comes with a different default setting on how they handle and implement the rel=canonical tag, so definitely look at the specifics for your platform.

What to do:

Spot-check important pages to see if they're using the rel=canonical tag

Use a site scanning software to list out all the URLs on your site and determine if there are duplicate page problems that can be solved with a rel=canonical tag

Read more on the different use cases for canonical tags and when best to use them

6. Text in images

Text in images — it’s such a simple concept, but out in the wild many, many sites are hiding important content behind images.

Yes, Google can somewhat understand text on images, but it’s not nearly as sophisticated as we would hope in 2017. The best practice for SEO is to keep important text not embedded in an image.

Google’s Gary Illyes confirmed that it’s unlikely Google’s crawler can recognize text well:

@Web4Raw I say no — Gary Illyes ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ (@methode) March 15, 2016

CognitiveSEO ran a great test on Google’s ability to extract text from images, and there's evidence of some stunning accuracy from Google’s technology:

Source: Cognitive SEO

Yet, the conclusion from the test is that image-to-text extraction technology is not being used for ranking search queries:

Source: Cognitive SEO

The conclusion from CognitiveSEO is that “this search was proof that the search engine does not, in fact, extract text from images to use it in its search queries. At least not as a general rule.”

And although H1 tags are not as important as they once were, it’s still an on-site SEO best practice to prominently display.

This is actually most important for large sites with many, many pages such as massive ecommerce sites. It’s most important for these sites because they can realistically rank their product or category pages with just a simple keyword-targeted main headline and a string of text.

What to do:

Manually inspect the most important pages on your site, checking if you’re hiding important text in your images

At scale, use an SEO site crawler to scan all the pages on your site. Look for whether H1 and H2 tags are being found on pages across your site. Also look for the word count as an indication.

What to do next:

Create a guide for content managers and developers so that they know the best practice in your organization is to not hide text behind images

Collaborate with your design and development team to get the same design look that you had with text embedded in images, but using CSS instead for image overlays

7. Broken backlinks

If not properly overseen by a professional SEO, a website migration or relaunch project can spew out countless broken backlinks from other websites. This is a golden opportunity for recovering link equity.

Some of the top pages on your site may have become 404 pages after a migration, so the backlinks pointing back to these 404 pages are effectively broken.

Two types of tools are great for finding broken backlinks — Google Search Console, and a backlink checker such as Moz, Majestic, or Ahrefs.

In Search Console, you’ll want to review your top 404 errors and it will prioritize the top errors by broken backlinks:

What to do:

After identifying your top pages with backlinks that are dead, 301 redirect these to the best pages

Also look for broken links because the linking site typed in your URL wrong or messed up the link code on their end, this is another rich source of link opportunities

What to do next:

Use other tools such as Mention or Google Alerts to keep an eye on unlinked mentions that you can reach out to for an extra link

Set up a recurring site crawl or manual check to look out for new broken links

8. HTTPS is less optional

What was once only necessary for ecommerce sites is now becoming more of a necessity for all sites.

Google just recently announced that they would start marking any non-HTTPS site as non-secure if the site accepts passwords or credit cards:

“To help users browse the web safely, Chrome indicates connection security with an icon in the address bar. Historically, Chrome has not explicitly labelled HTTP connections as non-secure. Beginning in January 2017 (Chrome 56), we’ll mark HTTP pages that collect passwords or credit cards as non-secure, as part of a long-term plan to mark all HTTP sites as non-secure.”

What’s even more shocking is Google’s plan to label all HTTP URLs as non-secure:

“Eventually, we plan to label all HTTP pages as non-secure, and change the HTTP security indicator to the red triangle that we use for broken HTTPS.”

Going even further, it’s not out of the realm to imagine that Google will start giving HTTPS sites even more of an algorithmic ranking benefit over HTTP.

It’s also not unfathomable that not secure site warnings will start showing up for sites directly in the search results, before a user even clicks through to the site. Google currently displays this for hacked sites, so there's a precedent set.

This goes beyond just SEO, as this overlaps heavily with web development, IT, and conversion rate optimization.

What to do:

If your site currently has HTTPS deployed, run your site through Screaming Frog to see how the pages are resolving

Ensure that all pages are resolving to the HTTPS version of the site (same as URL canonicalization mentioned earlier)

What to do next:

If your site is not on HTTPS, start mapping out the transition, as Google has made it clear how important it is to them

Properly manage a transition to HTTPS by enlisting an SEO migration strategy so as not to lose rankings

9. 301 & 302 redirects

Redirects are an amazing tool in an SEO’s arsenal for managing and controlling dead pages, for consolidating multiple pages, and for making website migrations work without a hitch.

301 redirects are permanent and 302 redirects are temporary. The best practice is to always use 301 redirects when permanently redirecting a page.

301 redirects can be confusing for those new to SEO trying to properly use them:

Should you use them for all 404 errors? (Not always.)

Should you use them instead of the rel=canonical tag? (Sometimes, not always.)

Should you redirect all the old URLs from your previous site to the home page? (Almost never, it’s a terrible idea.)

They’re a lifesaver when used properly, but a pain when you have no idea what to with them.

With great power comes great responsibility, and it’s vitally important to have someone on your team who really understands how to properly strategize the usage and implementation of 301 redirects across your whole site. I’ve seen sites lose up to 60% of their revenue for months, just because these were not properly implemented during a site relaunch.

Despite some statements released recently about 302 redirects being as efficient at passing authority as 301s, it’s not advised to do so. Recent studies have tested this and shown that 301s are the gold standard. Mike King’s striking example shows that the power of 301s over 302s remains:

What to do:

Do a full review of all the URLs on your site and look at a high level

If using 302 redirects incorrectly for permanent redirects, change these to 301 redirects

Don’t go redirect-crazy on all 404 errors — use them for pages receiving links or traffic only to minimize your redirects list

What to do next:

If using 302 redirects, discuss with your development team why your site is using them

Build out a guide for your organization on the importance of using 301s over 302s

Review the redirects implementation from your last major site redesign or migration; there are often tons of errors

Never redirect all the pages from an old site to the home page unless there’s a really good reason

Include redirect checking in your monthly or weekly site scan process

10. Meta refresh

I though meta refreshes were gone for good and would never be a problem, until they were. I ran into a client using them on their brand-new, modern site when migrating from an old platform, and I quickly recommended that we turn these off and use 301 redirects instead.

The meta refresh is a client-side (as opposed to server-side) redirect and is not recommended by Google or professional SEOs.

If implemented, it would look like this:

Source: Wikipedia

It’s a fairly simple one to check — either you have it or you don’t, and by and large there’s no debate that you shouldn’t be using these.

Google’s John Mu said:

“I would strongly recommend not using meta refresh-type or JavaScript redirects like that if you have changed your URLs. Instead of using those kinds of redirects, try to have your server do a normal 301 redirect. Search engines might recognize the JavaScript or meta refresh-type redirects, but that's not something I would count on — a clear 301 redirect is always much better.”

And Moz’s own redirection guide states:

“They are most commonly associated with a five-second countdown with the text 'If you are not redirected in five seconds, click here.' Meta refreshes do pass some link juice, but are not recommended as an SEO tactic due to poor usability and the loss of link juice passed.”

What to do:

Manually spot-check individual pages using the Redirect Path Checker Chrome Extension

Check at scale with Screaming Frog or another site crawler

What to do next:

Communicate to your developers the importance of using 301 redirects as a standard and never using meta refreshes unless there’s a really good reason

Schedule a monthly check to monitor redirect type usage

11. XML sitemaps

XML sitemaps help Google and other search engine spiders crawl and understand your site. Most often they have the biggest impact for large and complex sites that need to give extra direction to the crawlers.

Google’s Search Console Help Guide is quite clear on the purpose and helpfulness of XML sitemaps:

“If your site’s pages are properly linked, our web crawlers can usually discover most of your site. Even so, a sitemap can improve the crawling of your site, particularly if your site meets one of the following criteria: - Your site is really large. - Your site has a large archive of content pages that are isolated or well not linked to each other. - Your site is new and has few external links to it.”

A few of the biggest problems I’ve seen with XML sitemaps while working on clients’ sites:

Not creating it in the first place

Not including the location of the sitemap in the robots.txt

Allowing multiple versions of the sitemap to exist

Allowing old versions of the sitemap to exist

Not keeping Search Console updated with the freshest copy

Not using sitemap indexes for large sites

What to do:

Use the above list to review that you’re not violating any of these problems

Check the number of URLs submitted and indexed from your sitemap within Search Console to get an idea of the quality of your sitemap and URLs

What to do next:

Monitor indexation of URLs submitted in XML sitemap frequently from within Search Console

If your site grows more complex, investigate ways to use XML sitemaps and sitemap indexes to your advantage, as Google limits each sitemap to 10MB and 50,000 URLs

12. Unnatural word count & page size

I recently ran into this issue while reviewing a site: Most pages on the site didn’t have more than a few hundred words, but in a scan of the site using Screaming Frog, it showed nearly every page having 6,000–9,000 words:

It made no sense. But upon viewing the source code, I saw that there were some Terms and Conditions text that was meant to be displayed on only a single page, but embedded on every page of the site with a “Display: none;” CSS style.

This can slow down the load speed of your page and could possibly trigger some penalty issues if seen as intentional cloaking.

In addition to word count, there can be other code bloat on the page, such as inline Javascript and CSS. Although fixing these problems would fall under the purview of the development team, you shouldn’t rely on the developers to be proactive in identifying these types of issues.

What to do:

Scan your site and compare calculated word count and page size with what you expect

Review the source code of your pages and recommend areas to reduce bloat

Ensure that there’s no hidden text that can trip algorithmic penalties

What to do next:

There could be a good reason for hidden text in the source code from a developer’s perspective, but it can cause speed and other SEO issues if not fixed.

Review page size and word count across all URLs on your site periodically to keep tabs on any issues

13. Speed

You’ve heard it a million times, but speed is key — and definitely falls under the purview of technical SEO.

Google has clearly stated that speed is a small part of the algorithm:

“Like us, our users place a lot of value in speed — that's why we've decided to take site speed into account in our search rankings. We use a variety of sources to determine the speed of a site relative to other sites.”

Even with this clear SEO directive, and obvious UX and CRO benefits, speed is at the bottom of the priority list for many site managers. With mobile search clearly cemented as just as important as desktop search, speed is even more important and can no longer be ignored.

On his awesome Technical SEO Renaissance post, Mike King said speed is the most important thing to focus on in 2017 for SEO:

“I feel like Google believes they are in a good place with links and content so they will continue to push for speed and mobile-friendliness. So the best technical SEO tactic right now is making your site faster.”

Moz’s page speed guide is a great resource for identifying and fixing speed issues on your site.

What to do:

Audit your site speed and page speed using SEO auditing tools

Unless you’re operating a smaller site, you’ll want to work closely with your developer on this one. Make your site as fast as possible.

Continuously push for resources to focus on site speed across your organization.

14. Internal linking structure

Your internal linking structure can have a huge impact on your site’s crawlability from search spiders.

Where does it fall on your list of priorities? It depends. If you’re optimizing a massive site with isolated pages that don’t fall within a clean site architecture a few clicks from the home page, you’ll need to put a lot of effort into it. If you’re managing a simple site on a standard platform like WordPress, it’s not going to be at the top of your list.

You want to think about these things when building out your internal linking plan:

Scalable internal linking with plugins

Using optimized anchor text without over-optimizing

How internal linking relates to your main site navigation

I built out this map of a fictional site to demonstrate how different pages on a site can connect to each other through both navigational site links and internal links:

Source: Green Flag Digital

Even with a rock-solid site architecture, putting a focus on internal links can push some sites higher up the search rankings.

What to do:

Test out manually how you can move around your site by clicking on in-content, editorial-type links on your blog posts, product pages, and important site pages. Note where you see opportunity.

Use site auditor tools to find and organize the pages on your site by internal link count. Are your most important pages receiving sufficient internal links?

What to do next:

Even if you build out the perfect site architecture, there’s more opportunity for internal link flow — so always keep internal linking in mind when producing new pages

Train content creators and page publishers on the importance of internal linking and how to implement links effectively.

Conclusion

Here’s a newsflash for site owners: It’s very likely that your developer is not monitoring and fixing your technical SEO problems, and doesn’t really care about traffic to your site or fixing your SEO issues. So if you don’t have an SEO helping you with technical issues, don’t assume your developer is handling it. They have enough on their plate and they’re not incentivized to fix SEO problems.

I’ve run into many technical SEO issues during and after website migrations when not properly managed with SEO in mind. I’m compelled to highlight the disasters that can go wrong if this isn’t looked after closely by an expert. Case studies of site migrations gone terribly wrong is a topic for another day, but I implore you to take technical SEO seriously for the benefit of your company.

Hopefully this post has helped clarify some of the most important technical SEO issues that may be harming your site today and how to start fixing them. For those who have never taken a look at the technical side of things, some of these really are easy fixes and can have a hugely positive impact on your site.

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[alainguillotpodcast]

100 Celebration of 100 episodes with Elaheh Bos and Terrie Schauer

http://www.alainguillot.com/celebration-of-100-episodes/

My podcasting journey

I started podcasting in January of 2018, almost 2 years now. I started without knowing what to do and how to do it. I have learned a lot, but the biggest lesson is that I still have much more to learn.

The two major things I have learned has been to build relationships and to become a better communicator.

The main drawback of podcasting is that it takes a lot of time. To be honest, I think about podcasting almost every day and each episode takes me about 12 hours to produce, from the initial email I send to the person I want to interview, to finally hitting the "publish" button and sharing it in social media.

The celebration

I find that often in life, we accomplish big milestones in our lives, and because we don't do anything to highlight those milestones, they are simply forgotten, put away in the mixture of other regular days in our lives. And because we don't do anything to highlights those special moments, they are often forgotten.

I didn't want the publication of the 100th podcast to be mixed with all the other podcasts. Technically, there is nothing different between podcast #99 and podcast #100, but because I decided to make it special, and do a special celebration for it, then it does become more special.

I find, that often life passes us by without us realizing our accomplishments. Well, I think that many of us, who have worked hard to accomplish any goal, should take a moment to celebrate that accomplishment, to make it a life experience, and even better, to inspire others to celebrate their own milestones as well.

It's with that mindset that I decided to celebrate the publication of this 100th podcast episode, with the company of my Montrealer friends, and the support of people who I love and admire.

Cheryl Williams

Cheryl Williams opened the event. Cheryl has been my friend and business partner for about 14 years. She has been a fountain of inspiration to me and she has been a great pillar of support for many of my successful and failed ideas. It's so precious to have a friend who supports you unconditionally, but also will tell you the truth to your face without any filters. Thank you, Cheryl. I will never have adequate enough words to express my gratitude.

Elaheh Bos

Elaheh Bos is the founder of Plant Love Grow. She is an author and illustrator of about 50 children books, she is a speaker and an entrepreneur. But the most amazing power of Elaheh is her storytelling power, which of course, she channels it into her books. She also uses a vivid and descriptive language to add depth to their work.

Some of the phrases she used to catch my attention were:

If I could origami myself into a corner, I would have

As a mother, I was in this salad bowl of anger, denial, shame, fear.

The main message that I got from Elaheh's speech is that we can not help others from a place of fear. Elaheh had to go back in time and deal with the fears of her inner child before she was able to help her daughter.

I learned about resilience and resourcefulness. We all have the tools in life that we need to succeed, to solve problems. It's up to us to dust off those tools and put them into practice.

Terrie Schauer

Terrie Schauer is a real estate investor, an author, a coach, and a competitive Brazilian jiu-jitsu fighter.

The lesson I learned from Terrie is her defiance towards adversity. Adversity is never going to away, and if it does, then we stop growing.

As a real estate investor, Terrie has faced many tenants who have not paid their rent or who have destroyed her rental properties. As a jiu-jitsu fighter, Terrie had her face smear again the mat many times. These moments of adversity, each one of them, have taught her a lesson. We should see adversity as our teacher, and only when we accept it, we have an opportunity to grow.

    Check out this episode!

[mypetshopworld]

Ho Ho Ho it's Christmas Time. The cruellest thing you can do on Christmas. A Dog is not a Toy. Why it is a bad idea to give an animal as a Christmas Gift.

The unwanted Christmas Gift we all been there.

Christmas Time is a hectic time, and everyone rushes to get the presents and things ready to spend time with family and friends. 

It is a time where thousands of Christmas present will be returned the next day. We all been there. Receiving a Gift we didn't really want. An embarrassing pullover from Aunt Megan, an ugly pair of socks, a tie or a useless electronic gadget. All of those items are easily returned or just put in a drawer and forget about it. Some even end up in the daily trash.

Giving a pet as a Christmas Gift. A bad idea for both the future pet owner and the pet.

Giving a living animal to someone and the person does not really want it or is prepared for it, that is the moment when it becomes disastrous. After all, it is an animal with feelings, it is breathing and deserves to receive love. According to ASPCA In the days, weeks, and months following the festivities, animal shelters all over the world are inundated with animals who were given as a gift. I have to say those are the lucky ones, not every pet will be brought to a shelter. Some will be abandoned in the woods or beside the road and left to fight for themselves. Some will die, starve to death or get hit by a car. Some guardians will advertise and look for a good home, the danger here is that they might get in the wrong hands and are used for dog fights or for animal testing. Pet Shops advertise their pets and some people get supercharged with the idea of giving a puppy or kitten as a Christmas gift.

It sounds great and cute thinking of the surprise and the face including the tears. I don't want to spoil your Christmas present but giving a pet as a Christmas present is a not a good idea.

Let me tell you why it is not a good idea?

Having a pet and inviting it to become part of the family is a family decision. Not a spontaneous one it is a decision you want to have discussed and thought through. There are much more things to consider as just the video you can upload and share with your social media tribe and friends. A dog is not a toy, nor is a cat, a toy. Those are animals living beings, and yes, they do have feelings.  The internet is full of lovely videos and photos of puppies. Kittens packed in Santa cloth and puppies with Santa hats coming out of boxes. The reactions of those who receive them. You can find thousands of videos where joy comes into a person's life, and it is accompanied by happy tears. 

Why should an animal not to be considered as a gift? 

After all, we are talking about a living being and an animal that requires care and attention. The Shelters getting full after the Christmas months with animals what are given as a gift, but when people realize what kind of work and commitment is involved, they give them up. I do not say all are like this and some people are happy and commit to a lifetime keeping the pet.

What a lot of friends do not realize when they give you a pet as a Christmas Gift that the cute puppy needs training, and will do a lot of mischievous things. Without proper training and care, the puppy can become a dog that is not listening to the owner or becomes aggressive. Same goes for the aquatic part like turtles they are so cute when you buy them so tiny and small.   Unfortunately, they grow quickly out of the small Aquarium and without a proper filter system, the water becomes quickly dirty and smells. That is why many end up in the local River system.  Is it right to give pets as a gift for Christmas? We should always keep in mind some critical points before considering giving a pet as a Christmas gift. 

A Pet is a lifetime commitment and a loyal family member

Having an animal is a decision that can change a person's life a lot. It's a long-term commitment. You can't change them, you can't give them back. That's why before giving an animal to someone else, we must make sure that the person understands the responsibilities to have an animal in their life.  Even more important are they up for this challenge and are they living in an environment where they can accommodate a cat or a dog. ( check out our free dog breed calculator. Choose the right dog for you ) Therefore, the person should have verbalized the desire to adopt. Also, we must be clear that the animal gets the time and space it requires. 

Adoption is a great solution to help abandoned animals. 

Theoretically, the more animals adopted, the better for them, for shelters and for the families. Is that so? More or less. Statistics show that during Christmas or holidays, the abandonment rates increases. This is why some associations and NGOs temporarily closed adoptions on Christmas Eve.  It is essential to highlight that in the spirit of Christmas, there are non-certified breeders that sell pets before they are ready to be taken from the mom.  Those pets come without their proper vaccinations, and without worrying about their welfare. This will obviously translate into behavioural issues and health problems of the animals.  Most of the Pets bought on the streets will die as they are breed for business and not for the well being of a Pet.  "Pets should not be considered a commodity."

Download my Christmas Gift for you. 3 Free Ebooks. All you need to know about Pets. Cats. Dogs.

For the love of Dogs For the love of Cats For the love of Pets

Puppies and Kids are great together but consider a dog or a cat is not a toy. 

There are many cases of children who wish to have a dog as a pet animal, and there is really nothing wrong with that. It is one of the best things that can happen to a child having a dog or cat around and grow up with it.  Who hasn't heard that speech saying if you have a dog, you'll have to take care of him? However, it is essential to remember that they are children and that they cannot be 100% responsible for a dog. It is, in the end, the responsibility of the parent.  When adopting an animal, parents should be aware that it is their responsibility, and the fact that the child does not care for the dog is no excuse for abandonment. It is a family decision I can not stretch it often enough. Pets, in my opinion, should only be given as a gift by parents to the kids, at least they have put some thought into it. 

Pets as a Christmas Gift. Consider all changes and challenges. 

*If you are determined to give a pet to make a person happy, old or young consider different factors.  *Is there enough space for the pet?  *Can the person or family accommodate a pet? *How many hours a day is a pet alone. If more than 8 hours do not give a pet as a gift.  *Is the person or family able to accommodate the vet and food expenses?  *Make sure the person is not allergic to pets.  *Does the person have experience with pets?  *If the pet is a dog, is the person or family able to walk with the dog regular?  There are a lot of things to consider and please think before you make the decision to give someone a pet as a Christmas gift. Understand the pet like a dog or cat will be hurting if it is returned after Christmas.  Pets have feelings and emotion the same as you. It will not understand why you leave it alone in a shelter and abandon it. If you want to give a pet as a gift, you assure that the person is ready for the commitments and responsibilities. 

It's time to think about the pet's arrival at the new home.

If it's a puppy or a kitten, you should remember that they will be separated from their mother and siblings.

They will come to a home full of people and stimuli that will probably make it more than uncomfortable for the pet. The first night it will cry and call out for the siblings and the mom. You might not get much sleep. You must have a bed or a playpen prepared in a quiet place in the house where they can sleep and be away from excessive noise and groping. In short, a comfortable place to hide.  You should also have toys and food. An alternative way to avoid the stress of arriving at a new home is to surprise the person with an adoption certificate. This is a good way for the future pet owner to be ready. The adaptation will be less stressful, and the future owner will have time to choose a pet, accessories and bed himself. The future Pet owner can also prepare himself or the family mentally for the new member. 

Consider adoption before you buy from a Breeder.  

If you buy from a Breeder, please make sure it is a certified Breeder and not an illegal Breeder who breeds pets for the sake of money.  Choosing adoption over buying is a wise decision.  In addition to being a much cheaper option, we'll stop financing illegal breeders and avoid indiscriminate dog breeding.  You will also save an abandoned and homeless pet and give space in the shelter for another pet to arrive.  In 2018 this video footage went viral RSPCA posted it. Everyone was so touched even Snoop Dogg and Andrew Neil offered to take the dog in. But if that person's wish is to have a specific breed, we recommend you to look for a kennel that has all the papers.  It will give a guarantee that it is reproducing healthy pets with specific veterinary tests, and that has a hygienic space that favours the welfare of the puppies. 

You will be surprised how many dog breeds are abandoned every day, and you can find in a shelter. Go on the internet and look around in animal shelters near your area. I got our Doberman and German Shepard from a shelter. Alone in the US, there are yearly around 1.6 Million Animals euthanized. 670.000 Dogs and 860.000 Cats. Both of my dogs have been Christmas gifts and sent to the shelter with only 5 months old. I guess the owners did not consider how big they get, and that they will chew and destroy in their puppyhood a lot of things they can get their teeth on.  Remember that many pet breeds are also abandoned and need a home. In a pet who comes from an animal shelter, you find a loyal companion.  We hope that all this information will help you evaluate whether or not it is positive to give pets as a Christmas Gift.  And how you can assure the pet has found a family or owner for life.  If you liked my blog Ho Ho Ho it's Christmas Time. The cruellest thing you can do on Christmas. A Dog is not a Toy. Why it is a bad idea to give an animal as a Christmas Gift. Please like and share with family and friends. Visit our Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter page.  I wish you a wonderful a festive Season. 

My Christmas Gift to you. 3 Free ebooks instant download. All you need to know about Pets, Dogs, Cats

For the love of cats click here For the love of dogs click here For the love of pets click here All yours Melanie  Source Information https://www.aspca.org/animal-homelessness/shelter-intake-and-surrender/pet-statistics Approximately 6.5 million companion animals enter U.S. animal shelters nationwide every year. Of those, approximately 3.3 million are dogs and 3.2 million are cats.  We estimate that the number of dogs and cats entering U.S. shelters annually has declined from approximately 7.2 million in 2011.  The biggest decline was in dogs (from 3.9 million to 3.3 million).Each year, approximately 1.5 million shelter animals are euthanized (670,000 dogs and 860,000 cats).  The number of dogs and cats euthanized in U.S. shelters annually has declined from approximately 2.6 million in 2011.  This decline can be partially explained by an increase in the percentage of animals adopted and an increase in the number of stray animals successfully returned to their owners.Approximately 3.2 million shelter animals are adopted each year (1.6 million dogs and 1.6 million cats).About 710,000 animals who enter shelters as strays are returned to their owners. Of those, 620,000 are dogs and only 90,000 are cats. Read the full article

[latexprofit8-blog]

I can’t live without… 3/18

This post is sponsored.

The first item on this week’s favorite list is a brand that is part of the K-beauty phenomenon. K-beauty (short for “Korean beauty”) is probably the most hyped and most revolutionary trend in the beauty industry. And for good reason, in my opinion: isn’t the porcelain skin of Korean women the beauty ideal of pretty much every woman? The K-beauty phenomenon revolves around precisely these attribute, no pores, no wrinkles and an even tone, rounded off with a natural glow.   Based on this (beauty) ideal, Korean label Dr. Jart+ established itself in the industry in 2004, promoting a vision of skin-care through specialist diagnosis, innovation and highly functional products.

Since its inception, the company has worked with a team of dermatologists, technicians, artists and designers to create progressive technologies and to combine them with effective substances, always with the aim to design products that are effective as well as visually pleasing. Dr. Jart+ offers a wide palette of products ranging from nurturing facial gels and special micro peelings to my absolute brand favorite: the famous “sheet masks” – an absolute staple of every Korean beauty ritual.   But Dr. Jart+ wouldn’t be Dr. Jart+ if all they offered were those sheet masks, which have become quite popular by now. Apart from those classics, the label also offers gel-like rubber sheet masks, each of which consists of an ampoule of highly concentrated serum and a rubber mask. Prior to putting on the mask yu apply the moisturizing serum, which helps to tighten saggy skin, and to revitalize lost elasticity.

Then you lay the sheet-mask on your face, which optimizes the efficiency of the serum and thoroughly moisturizes your skin. Little wrinkles are smoothed out, and the elasticity of the skin improves noticeably. What more could you want?

Clean skin? No problem with the PMD Clean!   Especially when wearing make-up, cleansing your face in the morning and evening is an absolute must! The new PMD clean helps with over 7,000 revolutions per minute – called SonicGlow™ – to remove oil, dirt and clogged pores from the skin and to make it shine. It also provides a slight lifting effect. The perfect setting for every skin type can be found from four different modes.

PMD Clean is made of ultra-hygenic silicone and is therefore antibacterial, hypoallergenic and fragrance resistant. That means never buying brush heads again!

Water is also no problem for the device if one carries out his cleaning ritual in the morning or in the evening under the shower. At the front as a cleansing brush, the back of the PMD Cleanse is suitable for anti-aging facial massages that give serums and creams a more intensive effect. In general, the brush can be used with all kinds of beauty products – be it foam, a cleansing cream or oil. The PMD Clean has no battery and runs on a 1AA battery. This means you don’t have to carry an annoying charger with you when you’re travelling.

Interested? If you would like to try the PMD Cleaner, you can get a 30% discount on the assortment with Masha30 on the website HERE.

The perfect Instagram Story: The Unfold App If it comes to Instagram stories, minds are divided. Some prefer real and genuine peeks behind the scenes and personal moments, other have a better time watching snippets of the perfect world we’ve gotten used to on Instagram. To achieve the latter, i.e. professionally realized, perfect results, I have an amazing recommendation for you guys.   Just recently I stumbled upon the Unfold App, and have quickly come to cherish it as the ideal toolkit for all storytellers and creatives among you. The app offers 25 templates and fonts, freely combinable to create the perfect story. The app supports photos as well as videos, all in high-res – a long cry from most free apps. This particular gem is downloadable without any conditions whatsoever. I can really recommend this one from the bottom of my heart!

Instagram inspiration: Marius Sperlich Talking about Instagram: I don’t want to keep my current favorite on the platform from you. Berlin based photographer and artist Marius Sperlich regularly presents excerpts from his work on Instagram, turning his feed into a lovingly curated piece of art, with a loving eye for detail and the fascination of sometimes provocative content. I’m totally blown away by the associations and interpretations Marius works with! Far from the clichés of erotic photography, he focuses on details of erogenous zones without ever been placative or invasive. His whole body of work feels authentic, and the level of artistry is uniformly high.

Netflix-Tipp: Ali Wong Hard Knock Wife Comedy Special Two years after giving birth to a daughter, stand-up comedian Ali Wong is back on Netflix! Just as we hoped, she’s back with a load of humorous and lively stories about what she experienced in those two years. Ali talks about the dark sides of being a new mother, the daily struggles it brings with it, and about her attempts to achieve a healthy work-life balance after her pregnancy.   I cried of laughter watching “Hard Knock Wife”! Ali Wong has such a unique and authentic way to recount her every-day adventures. This is definitely another must-see!

The “DJI Mavic Air” drone It’s small, portable, comes in classic black and is a perfect travel companion. What am I talking about, you ask? Yep, I’m banging on about my new drone, the “Mavic Air” by DJI. My ultimate tip for all the travel and photo freaks among you!   As you probably know, I love experimenting with different photo and video techniques, and I’m always looking for a new perspective, a new angle. When I’m on the road, wanting to capture the character and atmosphere of cities and landscapes, I find the birds-eye view particularly inspiring and impactful. With that in mind, I was sure I was going to hop on the drone bandwagon sooner or later.   A bit of research led me to the “DJI Mavic Air” drone, which convinced me on many levels the moment I tried it. The drone comes with various filters, and packs the choice of a wide range of photo and video options, inviting experimentation and creativity. Plus, it has a resolution of 32 megapixels and a reach of up to four kilometers. And on top of all that, the remote control is incredibly user friendly, genuinely easy to handle – just connect it to the smartphone and the captured image is displayed on your mobile phone.

Simple but ingenious.

Last Minute Summer Deal – SAKS OFF 5TH Hands up: Who doesn’t love bargains here and there? And who would like to have Sale all year round?   ME! Personally, I don’t care if a piece is from the current collection or from the collection before. If I like something, if the quality is right, I like to add it to my collection. If I get it then also still somewhat more favorably, I am all the more pleased!   At SAKS OFF 5TH I have always found something spontaneous – whether clothing or accessories. I don’t even have to browse long until I find something suitable. Whether I need cool sunglasses at short notice or a last-minute summer dress – I don’t have to dig around, I have a large selection of products from different designers in one store. The good thing about SAKS OFF 5TH: Great designers at a small price in a high-end department store without outlet character. The range also speaks for itself: large designer brands offer timeless classics such as trench coats, certain well-known bag models and cashmere sweaters. These work as a highlight to cheaper articles, which SAKS Off 5TH also offers. I like the idea that nothing is simply thrown away or destroyed (have you read the article about a designer brand that you can find HERE), but parts find a new home. Optionally also with me in the wardrobe.

Newcomer-Label: Polène Paris Founded by three siblings driven to carry on the traditional craft of their family, the young Parisian label Polène is deeply rooted in old, French artisan tradition. The three founders realize their vision of creating exceptional leather products in form of bags, which dazzle with eye-catching geometrical forms and lines, high-quality materials and an air of Parisian laissez-faire. In terms of colors, the label focuses mainly on neutral nuances like creme, beuge, black and red – the Parisian palette in a nutshell.   And there’s another huge plus I should mention. The label is completely independent, which is also reflected in its price point. Polène vowed to offer high quality at fair prices, and in order to achieve it the label cuts all middlemen like stores (apart from the Polène’s own store) and whole-sellers. You find their products online and on 14 Rue Daval, Paris.

Exhibition Tip: James Turrell’s Light-Art Presentation in Dorotheenstadt Cemetary, BerlinBerlin has a reputation for being a magnet for creative types, who find beauty in the ordinary and transform the ordinary into the exceptional. In a way, that may be one of the single most distinguishing characteristics of this city., While Berlin is obviously on par with many other European capitals when it comes to architecture and culture, it often seems like the cities biggest assets are the artists, musicians and creative minds who understood its essence and have used it in their work. This means that in Berlin you quite often stumble upon exhibitions and installations that maybe wouldn’t receive as much popular attention anywhere else as they do here.   This week’s exhibition tip is the truly incredible light-art presentation by James Turrell, which has been on show on Dorotheenstadt cemetery since 2015 as a permanent installation. The American artist, world famous for his work with light, transforms the chapel into a surreally colorful, light-flooded space. The installation is highly representative of this amazing artist’s work.   The only way to attend is to join one of the hour-long chapel tours, which always start at the moment of sunset. But I guarantee it’s worth your while, this installation is an absolute must-see!

Favorite Fragrance: Narciso Rodriguez – for her “OMG you smell so good!” I’ve heard this sentence quite a lot since I started wearing the scent by Narciso Rodriguez, and I notice that men seem to be particularly susceptible to this fragrance. It’s a real classic, just recently the brand celebrated the fragrance’s 15th anniversary. The scent’s popularity is unbroken, it is a mysterious and timelessly elegant – yet modern – as on the first day. Narciso aimed to capture the sensuality every women, and to create a scent that carries that sensuality. Looks like he succeeded. Personally, I love the powdery note, which makes the fragrance sensual but not sweet, a lingering, fragrant aura.

Head note: peach, rose Heart note: musk Base note: amber, patchouli

This post is also available in German Russian

Source: https://www.masha-sedgwick.com/i-cant-live-without-3-18/

[itsyourturnblog]

Is your phone making you depressed?

Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

“Smartphones are not a concept of the universal progress — there are good things to this technology and there are negatives.” Dr. Jeff Cain

Noticing the problem in my life

For the past several years I’ve been asking my students about stress in their lives. The numbers of people reporting feeling consistently overwhelmed, stressed and anxious are growing exponentially.

Earlier this year I attended a pharmacy learning conference where some of these topics where discussed. One surprising explanation for the above problems came up in a session delivered by Dr. Jeff Cain, a professor from the University of Kentucky College of Pharmacy. Additionally, he serves as a Director of Education Technology, so the area of smartphones and social media is near and dear to his heart.

Few weeks ago I sat down with Jeff to dig deeper. I wanted to know how he became curious about smartphones and what mental health concerns he sees in his students.

“In the past few years it has been really bothering me to see people in social interactions paying more attention to their device than to the person in front of them.” Dr. Jeff Cain

Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

From resilience to mental health

Jeff shared with me that his research in this area had a surprising beginning. He was helping a student to write a paper on her area of interest of grit and resilience. But the process of exploring the information proved to be anything but quick and easy, even though their review ended up pretty comprehensive — Review of Grit and Resilience Literature within Health Professions Education.

Many of the concepts of resilience are connected to mental health, and unfortunately the situation has been changing in the past decade — Increases in Depressive Symptoms, Suicide-Related Outcomes, and Suicide Rates Among US Adolescents After 2010 and Links to Increased New Media Screen Time.

Jean Twenge shared her concerns with the public in her article Have Smartphones destroyed a generation? and her book iGen: Why Today’s Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy — and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood — and What That Means for the Rest of Us.

Jean’s work and another book by Adam Alter Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked became Jeff’s inspiration to evaluate the effects of this technology in his students.

Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

Lack of emotional nourishment

There is no question — many of us feel more connected today and have more ‘friends’ and ‘followers’ than ever before, but are these interactions healing for our health and psyche?

“Digital relationships are good to keep people connected, but they do not provide emotional nourishment the same way as physically spending your time with someone.” Dr. Jeff Cain

Just recently Jeff shared his concerns with other pharmacy educators with his latest publication - It’s Time to Confront Student Mental Health Issues Associated with Smartphones and Social Media.

Without a doubt, technology brings a lot of benefit to our lives. We can look at the information consumed, the advice offered and utilized, access to content that has never been available before.

Scientists are looking at this information carefully recognizing the positive effects, sharing it in publications such as The ‘Goldilocks Hypothesis’ and ‘just-right’ screen time and A Large-Scale Test of the Goldilocks Hypothesis: Quantifying the Relations Between Digital-Screen Use and the Mental Well-Being of Adolescents.

Do these sound familiar?

Unfortunately, the negative sides are becoming more pronounced as well — from symptoms mentioned earlier to nomophobia ​(fear of being without your phone) and even something as surprising as Snapchat dysmorphia. This symptom has recently been reported by plastic surgeons in the Journal of American Medical Association. Patients began requesting surgeries to make they look more like the filtered pictures they see — Selfies — Living in the Era of Filtered Photographs. Are you surprised that our fascination with social media affecting our norms and views on beauty?

What’s clear is that many of the negative symptoms start gradually, but eventually they sneak up on you. Society’s acceptance of technology, encouragement in the workplace and benefits described earlier are perhaps the main reason.

Photo by Yura Fresh on Unsplash

Start with small steps

During my conversation I appreciated Jeff’s recommendations for more prudent use of the phones. These three really stood out for me:

switch the screen to monochromatic view to use the phone as a tool, and not as an entertainment — ask yourself, how often you pull out your phone just to find something fun to see of read

don’t bring your phone to your bedroom— to prevent sleep disturbances

move social media apps from the home screen of your device

“If it isn’t something you have to interact with on the smartphone, turn off buzzing and beeping notifications. Move all your non-productivity apps off your home screen. Don’t carry your phone with you all the time.” Dr. Jeff Cain

Depending on the device you use, these are a couple of ‘how-to’ articles to get you started exploring your phone’s settings.

Better Humans — Coach Tony — How to Configure Your iPhone to Work for You, Not Against You

LifeHacker — Melissa Kirsch — Change Your Screen to Grayscale to Combat Phone Addiction

Realigning technology with our best interests

One of the most powerful reminder from Jeff’s work is that smartphones are designed for addiction. There is a lot of conversation in entrepreneurial circles on how to develop products that continue to bring your customers back to you. Creating a product that is loved is one of the main goals of today’s entrepreneurs. Designing with that in mind might seem like a smart business, unfortunately we are not always able to predict the long-term effects and beginning to pay the price for our inability to disconnect.

“The apps and the phones are designed so you keep coming back for that dopamine rush you get .” Dr. Jeff Cain

If you’ve been paying attention, this isn’t the first time you are hearing about the addiction potential of our technology. Tristan Harris, one of the early Google employees shared his views on the topic in 2016 here on Medium — How Technology is Highjacking Your Mind — From a Magician and Google Ethicist.

Last year, The New York Times was helping to spread the word in their article Early Facebook and Google Employees Form Coalition to Fight What They Built. From TED talks stage to his own blog Time Well Spent, Tristan shares the power of controlling your own mind. Today, he is one of the founders of the Center for Humane Technology, a source I highly recommend to everyone. Its main mission is to encourage humanity to realign technology with our best interests.

“There are numerous benefits to smartphones but also negative aspects affecting our mental health and lives in general. We can say this is how the life is now, or we can remove our dependence and addiction.” Dr. Jeff Cain

The entire conversation with Dr. Jeff Cain is published at https://wellnessinsidernetwork.com/58

Want to develop a simple ritual of taking better care of yourself? Drink a daily cup of a delicious herbal tea!

Click to get a list of 5 of my favorite herbal resources to get you started.

Is your phone making you more depressed? was originally published in It's Your Turn on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

by Lana Camiel via It's Your Turn - Medium #itsyourturn #altMBA #SethGodin #quotes #inspiration #stories #change #transformation #writers #writing #self #shipping #personaldevelopment #growth #education #marketing #entrepreneurship #leadership #personaldev #wellness #medium #blogging #quoteoftheday #inspirationoftheday

[freehealthguider]

How to save money on your big day

How to save money on your big day

I recently got engaged, which of course means everyone who has ever been married, been to a wedding or watched Love Actually has tracked me down with explicit instructions on how best to plan our big day. The advice varies wildly, aside from one key element: everyone is absolutely correct.

You don’t want your wedding to be too big, as it becomes too impersonal, but you don’t want it too small either, as this is your one big day, and why not make it a large celebration? They use their own wedding as the litmus test for how big or small is too big or small, insisting their day was perfect. To them, it was.

People who talk to you about weddings suddenly become stoic philosophers, offering circular meditations like “it’ll cost what it costs”, “this day only comes around once” and “it will be perfect, even if things don’t go perfectly”. Perfect.

Choosi released its Cost Of Love report last month, which clocked the average price of an Australian wedding at $24,660. MoneySmart has it at $36,200, which jives with most of the anecdotal evidence I’ve heard.

FOR MORE STORIES LIKE THIS GO TO NEWS.COM.AU

Both figures seem unreasonable to me and Choosi’s findings suggest I’m not alone in this thinking, with 90.7 per cent of those surveyed claiming the cost is too high. Yet, that’s the average cost. That’s a serious disconnect between what people think and what they do.

The actual day itself is just one element, too. There’s a buck’s party, a hen’s party, a bridal shower, an engagement party, a rehearsal dinner, a post-wedding brunch, a honeymoon, the flash mob Thriller dance, rehearsals for the flash mob Thrillerdance, hiring someone to choreograph the flash mob Thriller dance. The list goes on.

Related: Why I’ll never use Tinder

Related: What it really feels like for teenage boys to lose their virginity

It’s not just the happy couple who are feeling the pinch either. For example, the Choosi report states $513 as the average cost of a hen’s or buck’s party. If you have a destination wedding, there are travel costs, time off work, plus those three cans of Red Bull you need to stay awake through the actual ceremony.

In short: weddings are expensive.

An article ran on this website last Wednesday in which a bride spoke of the cost of her Byron Bay wedding blowing out from $35K to $50 large. (Sorry, weddings make me talk like a ’30s mobster.) Despite this 43 per cent blowout, she mostly seemed pleased they didn’t go into debt, rightly stating: “At the end of the day it’s only one day and you don’t want to be having to pay that back for years and years.”

This is true — going into that much debt for a wedding seems like madness. So does spending $50,000 on a single day, regardless of how pretty everything will look after being shrunk into a phone-sized square and washed out with the Nashville filter. In the aforementioned article, the bride referred to herself as a “huge saver”, which just means she prepaid for years and years. It’s the same thing.

My fiancee was given some smart advice regarding the brutality involved in culling a guest list: break the costs down per head, then decide if that person is worth, let’s say, $150 of your own money. This will help separate the wheat from the chaff, but such mathematical valuing of your loved ones could cast a pall over the entire day as you see invisible dollar amounts hovering over the heads of your guests like an energy bar in a video game.

It seems people regard the money spent on weddings as being in a separate currency with a different exchange rate. Flowers are suddenly thousands of dollars, napkin rings are worth dropping half a week’s wages on, and shoes that will be completely covered by a wedding dress are worth the GDP of a small landlocked nation.

Related: Dating deal-breakers: The most common relationship red flags

Related: Why going to the movies is the worst first date idea ever

Related: What to do when your friend starts dating someone you hate

The entire industry is set up to bleed you of money, under the hard-to-argue premise that this is your special day. The amount of pressure put on the happy couple to spend up big is substantial. Cutting corners on your wedding day seems ominous somehow, like a dark distillation of how much you value the marriage itself. It is also an industry where there is considerable pressure to match the weddings of those around you. There is pressure to spend a truckload of money, then to downplay how much you actually spent. Seemingly throwaway decisions take on seismic proportions, as now you are planning a $50,000 event, and so everything has to go smoothly. Not smoothly, perfectly. See how the wind is blowing the tablecloth corners up so the bare wooden legs are now visible? That’s because you were too stingy to fork out $900 on the diamond-plated tablecloth weights.

Now the wedding, and by extension the marriage and your future-children’s job prospects, are irrevocably destroyed.

We won’t be burdening any of our parents for money to pay for our wedding, as it is no longer 1955 (despite what our bridal-twist dance may suggest), but many couples still expect the bride’s parents to fork out for the pleasure of watching some dude in an ill-fitting suit marry their daughter in a church that cost more to rent than their first house was to buy. I’ve known people whose parents took out a second mortgage on their house to facilitate a party for a marriage that lasted just over a year. They’d have been better off investing in ostrich farming, or Nokia ringtones.

Here’s an outrageous fee I’ve only just learned exists. How much do you expect to pay for a wedding cake? Regardless of how high you punted that number in your head just then, it’s actually a lot higher as, according to mywedding.com, a lot of venues “require a cake-cutting fee that ranges from $1-$7 per guest”. Keep in mind, this site is American, making that higher-end figure $9.60. You invite 200 guests and you’re looking at $1920 extra just for someone to divvy up the cake in those tiny, square, fun-sized portions. (Some restaurants do this too and call it “cakeage”, which would be cute if I wasn’t fuming at the concept.) This is on top of the cake cost, which starts at $650 for one of those three-tier types. You know, the one that the guy dives through in the November Rain clip. If I ever see a bride at a wedding glaring furiously at some little kid whining about how he doesn’t want his cake, I will know why.

Doltone House runs a venue hire and catering company in Sydney. They offer a number of reasonably priced wedding packages, one of which includes the hire of a mirrored wishing well and a crystal chandelier. There also seems to be an undue amount of importance placed on the table centrepieces; Doltone offers a consultancy service for this element alone. Not wishing to be outdone, Ava Event Styling offers up a Pinterest board featuring the 642 Best Wedding Centrepieces and all I see are different variations of flowers in kettles, all presented on white table-clothes that look like oversized doilies.

Because weddings seem to exist in this parallel universe that reflects in no way the actual value of items, services become a lot dearer, too.

I have played in bands over the years and worked as a music journalist, so I know how much musicians are paid in the real world. In weddingland, however, a band can charge $5000 for three 45-minute sets. Those are covers sets too, so you’re not paying a premium for the fact you hired You Am I or anything; these are people playing the same 40 songs you hear at any wedding — or any RSL club on a Thursday night for that matter. As Charles Dickens once wrote: “No wedding is so classy that it can’t be spoiled by an off-key cover of the Goo Goo Dolls.” Want a DJ instead? First of all, you know it’s just a guy playing songs off his iPhone, right? Secondly, that will cost you $3000. And he won’t even have MMMBop.

The Cost Of Love report found the main place people cut costs was on a videographer, with 58 per cent of people highlighting this as the area they most scrimped on. The main areas of scrimpage seem to be those that can be replicated with technology: photography, videos, invitations and entertainment were all in the top rung of areas where people cut costs; all of which can be crowdsourced from phone-toting guests, or done through the wonders of email.

Our wedding isn’t for another year or so, which means we have plenty of time to think about what’s important to us. Mainly, it’s people. We’ve already decided not to waste money on things that don’t mean anything to us, while making sure everything is as photogenic and pretty as possible. Luckily, beauty and taste don’t equal dollars. The most expensive weddings can often look garish and cheap, while a simple garden fare with tea-candles and a small group of people who cherish each other can look and feel a million dollars.

At the end of the day, no matter what type of wedding we land on, whether it rains, or hails, or gets shut down by the police because we forgot to put the permit in, we know we will be deliriously happy with the end result. We will arrive separately, and leave married. Which sounds like the perfect wedding.

Nathan Jolly is a Sydney-based writer who specialises in pop culture, music history, true crime and true romance. Follow him on Twitter @nathanjolly

While we’re on the topic, this is Meghan Markle’s daily ritual to combat wedding stress. Plus, a guide to Australia’s best wedding dining destinations.

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