#I mean Abyss Monarch got some but that was back when they released and they were big in the fandom

[quibbs126]

Do you have any fankid requests for Fire Spirit Cookie?

I’ve gotten 2 total, that being Sea Fairy/Fire Spirit, which I’ve already finished (named Hot Spring Cookie), and Fire Spirit/Wind Archer, which I haven’t finished but have ideas for

I did at one point put both Fire Spirit/Knight and Fire Spirit/Dark Choco on my list because I had seen those two ships around, but they were never actually requested

[sylph-feather]

Summary: Danny had known the rules— that being beaten would lead to transfer of the crown, instructed to him by their ominous guardians— but he hadn’t exactly considered all the implications of that.

For: @ghost-strawberry

Prompt: (Danny is ghost king hc) Danny loses a fight with Sam and the title of ghost king is transferred to her, despite Sam not being a ghost.

Words: 3,344

“Haha!” Sam barked triumphantly, standing over her defeated enemy in a display of dominance while stomping a scary combat boot, “I won.” 

Danny let out nothing but a low keening sound, slumping on the Nasty Burger table and leaving his arm in its defeated position. 

“Darn,” Tucker chimed in, “I thought that with all the ghost fighting and workouts you’ve been doing, Sam finally would stop being the reigning arm wrestling champ.” He paused, melodramatically draping a hand over his forehead and intoning, “alas.” 

Danny only repeated the same mournful noise, all the sentiment of my arm is going to bruise and Sam will never let this go packed into a drawn out moan. 

Before Danny could construct his complaints into something that took the form of language, there was a great burst of green fire that ensconced their cheap, plastic table. In the time it took to flinch, the ghostly flames had already washed over the group— and… done… nothing? 

No, that wasn’t right— it hadn’t hurt them, to be more accurate. Their table, and the tile around it, looked like someone had carved a circle into the floor, taken everything within that circle (read: the trio, several overly greasy foodstuffs, and three shakes) and dropped it right into the Ghost Zone, if the swirling green abyss was anything to go by. 

(Back in the human realm, the patrons of the Nasty Burger were left with their own overly greasy foodstuffs visible in their mouths held ajar as they stared at the smoldering circle that once held three teens and cheap fast food chain restaurant seating— horribly cheap plastic booths on a table that maybe had the suggestion of meeting bare-minimum sanitary requirements. A lone green flame died out, and acrid smoke wafted away. Same shit every day, a tired cashier thought). 

Before them: the Coroners. Dark-colored ghosts with a litany of dark colors with glowing green antlers that twisted into the suggestion of the shape of a crown, and gnarled hands that all had the same mark of a skull on each knuckle. Between the name and the appearance, they were very ominous, to say the least. 

Danny recognized them from the last time he met them: his own coronation. 

Sam and Tucker, who were not there for that ritual because it occured after the fight with Pariah, were just as confused and scared as Danny was the first time. “It’s ok!” he yelped at his friends who were readying their on-hand Fenton weaponry. “I know them. They’re the Coroners.”

Sam shot him a look that said that is anything but encouraging, and Danny winced. 

“They… do… the coron-ing,” Danny said slowly, because he didn’t know how else to phrase it. “Like, the monarchy ruler stuff.” 

“Down with the monarchy,” Sam intoned almost instinctively, but still pocketed the lipstick laser once again, settling down and taking a more casual sip of her strawberry shake. 

Tucker, meanwhile, just kept his shaky hands locked around the box of fries, determinedly not looking at the wraith-like creatures that had deer skulls sticking out of dark garb. 

Sam paused in her slurping, considering the Coroner’s job in her mind more thoroughly. “I guess it makes sense, ‘cuz the Ghost Zone doesn’t have a pope to do it,” she admitted. 

Tucker relaxed, and snorted. “Ghost pope.” The idea (mixed with the special breed of hysterical comedy that comes with  stress) elicited great humor. 

Fear abandoned, now they just looked confused. Danny was too— because, “why are you here?” He frowned down at himself. “Are you, uh, rebelling? Or do you have an important message? Or…?”

That was one-third of the Coroner’s jobs: rebellion. Or, more accurately, inciting rebellion. To understand, one must understand two-thirds of their job: the second third was that someone had to pass down the Ring of Rage and Crown of Fire. After the defeat of Parkah, the ancient ghosts were very grateful that Danny had taken it from Pariah Dark after his reign of tyranny, given that he had destroyed them… because of the first third of their job. See, the Coroners were also supposed to act as some representative electoral body of ghost-kind in deciding who passed a somewhat okay-ish ruler, and if that didn’t work out, they usually incited rebellion against said tyrant, or inevitably did so when a once kind ruler became glutted with greed and violence. 

So Pariah trapped them, which (admittedly) was a rather sensible plan, and (also admittedly) a major design flaw in the ring and the crown. After all, given the requirement for the initial rights to ring and crown were to battle and defeat its previous user to gain access (it could be peacefully passed, but that option had never happened), and really, nothing of the Coroner’s judgement would make an impact outside of someone saying no— that is to say, the ring and crown wouldn’t just poof. Thus, it seemed reasonable to assume that the battler would continue, well, battling for that power. 

The last third of their job is significantly less exciting— as Danny put it: messaging. It simply was to act as ghostly servants; knights, mailmen, whatever the King and the ghosts that needed the King may require. Danny largely told them to use their own discretion in solving conflicts, because he was just one teen barely keeping his grades above Cs, and then left them to it. 

So yes, Danny was kind of worried that somehow, such a dramatic summons would be some kind of ominous warning on the way he was being a king— which, to be fair, he was barely being a king at all— due to the aforementioned second-third of their job.

The largest one with the most elaborately twisted antlers pointed a long, bony finger at Sam. Its voice, which sounded both grand and incredibly spooky, boomed thusly: “this human has bested you in battle. Thusly, according to the sacred laws of the Ring of Rage and the Crown of Fire, she shall be bequeathed the title of ghostly monarch. Ye, Danny Phantom, halfa, who have bested Pariah Dark, have lost to Sam Manson, human, and cede your title as ruler.” 

In a circle, the thirteen wraiths whispered, “and the cycle continues.” It was murmured slightly out of sync, but it gave less of an impression of untidiness or lack of professionalism, and more of an ominous feeling, like there were many more voices than just thirteen. 

Danny was slightly less freaked out than Sam and Tucker by it, given they had said a similar thing when he was coronated, but with far less spooky fanfare, and more normal, excited fanfare. Mostly, Danng was spooked more by the suddenness of the thing, and the prospect of it. 

In the hands of the largest one that was clearly the leader, the Ring of Rage and the Crown of Fire appeared in a dramatic swooshing of green flame. 

Danny’s eyes widened. “She.” He paused, because he couldn’t really argue with that. It was— technically, sort of— a battle. And in the Ghost Zone, might made right and all that. Still. 

Sam and Tucker stared, jaws agape. Between all the new info and now this revelation, their brains essentially bluescreened. 

Danny, even though he was previously initiated, wasn’t in a much better state— all he managed to get out aloud was an incredulous, “it was arm wrestling?”  

One of the smaller wraiths, its crown of horns barely nubs, drifted forwards to their Nasty Burger island that was adrift in the Ghost Zone, and asked in its voice of crackling dead leaves, “is this the manner in which you were beaten?” 

Sam, herself, recovered from the mental “404” page, and her first reaction was to release a huge guffaw of laughter. 

Danny slid forwards onto the table, thoroughly spent between embarrassment and confusion. All he articulated was a very, very long groan. 

“May we, uh,” Danny said slowly, turning towards the head wraith and looking at the glowing points set in the skull’s sockets, “have a moment to discuss?” 

Tucker made a vague noise between worry and agreement. 

“So long as the queen wishes,” it bowed to her, deeply reverent. 

“Wait,” Sam ordered, smile growing on her face. “If I were queen,” she said slowly, “would I be able to get rid of this monarchy?” 

“Tis not a monarchy, my lady,” one of the thirteen said, antler crown bobbing. 

The whole table of teens processed this for a moment. 

Tucker burst into incredulity first: “you literally called her a monarch just a few seconds ago!” 

“A title, nothing more,” a Coroner corrected. “Nay, you do not hold much sway over them, rather, it is they who hold sway over you, sending message to help resolve conflicts, be they fullscale fights or quarrels.” 

Danny groaned, suppressed memories bubbling up: the many times the Coroners had come to him with arguments regarding ghost territories, many attempting to use Danny as a weapon or a diplomat or bodyguard or— so on. 

Thus far, a handful of months into his kinghood, Danny had stopped one “fullscale fight” that bordered on a war. (...This was also related to territory, however). 

Either way, that was a long way to say: the statement that it was just a title held up. The ring and crown didn’t actually really get him any political leeway with the ghosts— it was more of an… intimidation tactic that some ghosts fled from, because the ring and the crown were no more than power boosters. 

Asides from that, all he got were updates on all the troubles in the Zone that supposedly needed him (most of which actually didn’t). The Ghost Zone was a lawless place, so a title of king was not worth much outside of sheer power display. 

For the most part, the things had just served to place a target on his back, specifically, because any lost battle would mean they were his no more, and that the power would be passed to the victor. 

Sam, seemingly on the same line of thought as he, hummed, “would ghosts know I was the… Ghost Queen?” At declaring herself monarch (even if it was apparently in name only), her face did a bit of an involuntary, complicated twisting motion. 

Danny picked himself up from his pathetic slump, and aimed an intrigued-but-confused look at Sam. 

Tucker caught on a bit faster— “so if the ghosts think Danny’s still the king, they fight him— but there’s no risk involved in him losing.” 

Sam nodded, smiling a little sappily. 

Danny just made a mushy “aw,” sound, seeming to consider it. 

It was hard to read the expressions of the ghosts that surrounded the trio’s private, floating chunk of the Nasty Burger establishment, because said ghosts wore skulls… but they seemed baffled, though reluctantly accepting. It was all in the tilt of their heads and the pause of their voice as they said, “great Queen, whatever thou shall ask of us.” 

Sam nodded again, then paused. Her face cracked into an eager grin— a dangerous grin. “Do I get cool powers from this?” 

After receiving the crown, Danny had gotten a boost in his own powers; nothing new, just everything that was there was doubled. Double the size, the intensity, the spookiness, the everything. Needless to say, being goth and being active in fights as she was, Sam was excited for ghost powers. She was momentarily lost in visions of a sweeping gothic outfit, one of pure black with smokey edges, decked out in spikes, etcetera— in other words, “edgy.” 

Tuck, meanwhile, had a far more practical askance: “hold on. She’s a human, right?” 

Of course, it wouldn’t be the first instance of humans vaguely receiving or being influenced by ghost powers in some way; Undergrowth had done it, there had been that time with ghost mosquitos, and the one with that Egyptian staff, and the whole incident with the dragon-rage amulet… not to mention the halfas themselves, obviously. Still, it was not all that hope-inspiring to consider that all of them save for the halfas were essentially some degree of possession (or, at the least, something infectious and negative). 

Aloud, Tucker continued to contemplate. “It’s not exactly reassuring to call them ghost powers, with uh, death. Involved.” It was a choppy sentence, but it got the point across; Danny was a special case, but even a half death wasn’t exactly desirable. 

The glowing eyes of the coroners seemed to wink in amusement, insomuch as points of light could display emotion. “Ghost powers , says the queen.” 

“Ghost powers,” the others echo— not ominous this time, because they are chortling, seeming to be one step away from elbowing one another. 

Sam flushes a bit. “What’s so funny about that?” she grunts, offended. 

The coroners all bow deeply. “We meant no offense,” speaks one from the crowd, and it is followed by a wave of nodding before any of the trio can tell which one was even talking. “We simply find hilarity on your naivete.” 

“Elaborate,” she ordered with extremely thin patience.

“We were hasty in calling you the monarch yet,” the largest explained in its ancient, crackling voice, slow and thoughtful— annoyingly so. 

Sam pinches her nose, understanding with perfect clarity why Danny had complained dealing with these pretentious, cryptic weirdos. “Elaborate,” she commanded once again. 

“You are not the monarch yet, because you have not died,” it informed with great solemnity. 

The Nasty Burger chunk floated in stunned silence as the trio absorbed that. 

“Die?!” Tucker yelled, banging the table, upsetting both the fries and the silence. 

“You have a fascinating and naive way of phrasing it, but perhaps ghost powers is not so far from the truth,” one of the antlered creatures mused, not really addressing the obvious tension or concern. “For indeed, the ring and the crown do power the spiritual energy—“ 

“They’re just ghost batteries!” Danny interrupted, baffled and surprised. 

Sam herself then interrupted the interruption with a scoff, creating a horrible stack of domino-ing interruptions. “All this pizazz over just a power source that I can’t even use?” 

“You are incapable of using it as you are now,” a coroner pointed out. Something in all their eyes glinted ominously, and their antlers seemed to shine with ethereal light. “You are disconnected while living,” one said. As a group, they began encircling the private bit of Nasty Burger, wraith-like cloaks brushing against disgusting tile that was glossy with grease of burgers long past. “But we will fix that,” the coroners intoned as one. 

Danny finally took some initiative, fluidly erupting from his seat and transforming into Phantom in a singular motion. It felt just a tad ridiculous to he hovering over a Nasty Burger table that was ridiculously out of place in the abyssal green of the Ghost Zone, but that only graced his mind for a moment. Instead, the primary thought was one he voiced aloud: “are you going to kill her?” Danny may have been a C student, but regarding threats he was not slow on the uptake— he’d been in enough fights to get a good instinct. For their part, Tuck and Sam took it too— partially cowering behind Danny while brandishing their own Fenton brand lasers. 

The dark spirits jolted to a stop, and tilting their many skull-heads quizzically— a nonverbal askance of why fight? All their minds were whirring, and the first theory from the group of coroners was this: “are you hungry for this power once again?” The group around chortled, a veritable cacophony like many dead leaves being kicked around by whistling wind. It was a taunt, clearly. “This is the natural order of things, halfa. You cannot deny it. You have lost. She has won, won spiritual power, power we take from you.” An enormous pressure of dread emanated from the threatening beings, seeming to push at Danny’s chest— it threw him off kilter in the emotional sense, but also the literal given that he was midair. “If you desire it returned to you, then beat her as she did you, as is the rites of the Ring and the Crown.” 

“I’m more upset she’s gonna die!” Danny barked, a little sarcastic and a lot tense, gesticulating wildly as though that could free his limbs from the lead of supernatural fear. As he did so, his hands became enveloped in his own charging ectoplasm— like a snowball dragged through snow to gather more icy slush to its mass, so too did Danny draw the pure ectoplasm from his surroundings. 

“I would like not to die,” Sam agreed quickly. 

“If it counts, I’m thirding that motion,” Tucker put in as well. 

The coroners pulled back, seemingly startled. “You… do not want this power. But you do not get to choose. ” Their antlers still held an ominous and powerful glow, which spoke to the fact that they had already made their choice in regards to the whole death thing. 

Sam drew in a breath, preparing her “hell no” tirade— when Danny exploded into motion, wrapping a gloved hand around Sam’s hand that didn’t have a lipstick laser in it, and propped them sloppily on the Nasty Burger table. He held his elbow on the table and their chained hands up. Before she could process what on earth he was doing, he painfully but desperately slammed their linked hands down against the table. 

Everyone was staring at Danny, ghosts and humans alike. Silence reigned— utterly baffled, confused silence. It was though a massive, unspoken huh? has slammed down onto the area. 

“There,” he said, reedy desperation coloring his voice. “I won the arm wrestle match.” 

Sam cottoned on pretty quickly— “oh no,” she groaned, “Danny, you beat me. You won .” 

Tucker shot her a look— the emphasis was a bit hammy— but said nothing, only watched hopefully as the coroners seemed to enter something of a loading state as they processed the turn of events. 

Then, startlingly, they quickly and fluidly bowed simultaneously. “Long live our shortest reigning queen,” they said with great solemnity, “and welcome back, our halfa King. Long may he reign.” 

Needless to say, the trio’s sigh of relief was about unparalleled. 

“If I am to reign,” Danny said slowly, recovering but still trying to sound poncy and official (rather than yell at them as he desired), “may we, in the future… discredit joking competitions?” It was delicately phrased, awkward pauses as he deliberately chose fancy phrasing, but it at least got the point across (even if Danny could swear that despite having skull faces and only pinpricks of light for eyes, the coroners were making faces at him). 

The coroners stares at each other, cloaks rustling but no sound passing between them. 

“Yes,” the largest said suddenly, “such a request is reasonable, for a half-human teenager.” With exasperation, it added: “you already were an exceptional case in your ruling.” 

“And in general,” a smaller one piped up snarkily from the back, to be shushed by what was likely a superior. 

“Right,” Danny clapped his hands together and huffed, relieved but still tense. 

“Now, how do we get out of here…?” Tucker questioned, trailing off and looking at the abyss. He traced his fingers on the table, then his face lit up— “uh, can I keep this? It’s authentic Nasty Burger merch, technically, and it’s nor like they’re really gonna need it when it’s been diverged from this reality, let alone their store—“

Before he could continue, there was a snap from one of the coroner’s gnarled hands, and a great bout of green flames engulfed said hunk of Nasty Burger— for the second time that day. 

When a very stunned Danny Fenton, Sam Manson, Tucker Foley, and smoldering, partially aflame  with emerald Nasty Burger chunk snapped back into place within the mortal realm, a certain cashier stared balefully at the fused tiles and remnant ghost flame, thought same shit every day once again, and promptly asked: “do you want more to order?” 

And thus, the status quo was restored, for better or for worse. 

[moviepitpodcast-blog]

My Most Anticipated Movies of 2019

2019 is here! So you know what that means – NEW MOVIES!

Of course, there are a lot of movies coming out this year, and while I’m looking forward to many of them, there are some that stand out among the rest. So here I am, give you my most anticipated movies of the year. It should be noted that of course things could change. For example, movies get shifted around, pulled off the schedule or new movies are put on the schedule that I end up really looking forward to.

So with that said, this list is based off the current schedule that’s out, and they’ll also be done by release date, because it’s just easier that way. Let’s get to it!

 Captain Marvel – March 8th

Yes, this list will include Marvel’s big three movies coming out – deal with it! Okay, now that that’s out of the way, Captain Marvel is something I’ve been looking forward to since it was announced. Not only is the movie Marvel’s first female-led superhero movie, it has a pretty damn great cast. Brie Larson plays the titular hero, aka Carol Danvers, an army pilot who gets caught in the middle of an intergalactic war between two alien races – the Kree and the Skrulls. The movie will also be a good introduction to the character to a lot of people who don’t know anything about the character, and that said, Captain Marvel has some good stories to tell. Captain Marvel co-stars Samuel L. Jackson, Jude Law, Ben Mendelsohn, Clark Gregg, Gemma Chan, Lee Pace and Annette Bening.

 Us – March 15th

Jordan Peele is back behind the camera with another terrifying story, and this time he’s not hiding the creep factor like he did in the trailer for Get Out. Us follows a family (Winston Duke, Lupita Nyong’o, Shahadi Wright Joseph and Evan Alex), who while on a family vacation with friends run into some unexpected visitors. Everyone was talking about the trailer when it dropped on Christmas Day, and it was well worth it, because the trailer starts off innocent and slowly gets weird and creepy until it goes full-on “what the hell is going on?” and just like that, Us, has gone on a lot of people’s Must-Watch List. Us co-stars Elisabeth Moss, Tim Heidecker, Anna Diop and Yahya Abdul-Mateen II.

 Hellboy – April 12th

As hard as it might be for some – including myself – let’s move pass the notion that we will no longer get a third Hellboy movie directed by Guillermo del Toro. That said, the first trailer for the new Hellboy movie actually had me pretty excited. Directed by Neil Marshall (Dog Soldiers, The Descent), the new movie has Hellboy (David Harbour) facing off against an ancient sorceress (Milla Jovovich) named Nimue the Blood Queen bent on revenge. It looks like a Hellboy movie, and seeing Harbour get a lead role in a big movie like this is great. I was a fan of his before Stranger Things and seeing him finally get the recognition he deserves should be awesome to watch. Hellboy co-stars Sasha Lane, Penelope Mitchell, Daniel Dae Kim and Ian McShane.

 Avengers: Endgame – April 26th

Arguably, the biggest Marvel film to date, Avengers: Endgame (yes, it’s called Endgame, you figured it out, good for you) finishes the story they started in Avengers: Infinity War. Honestly, I don’t know what to expect from this, and I like it. The story could pretty much go anywhere, and even though we’ve seen set photos, without that context, we’re just talking in the abyss. I always keep my expectations, hype or what-have-you at the door when watching big movies like this, but I don’t think I’ll be able to contain myself watching this in a theater with all the other fans around.

 Detective Pikachu – May 10th

Loosely based – maybe – off the game of the same name, Tim (Justice Smith) meets an intelligent talking Pikachu (voiced and also apparently motion-captured by Ryan Reynolds) who help each other as they look into the mysterious disappearance of Tim’s father. I, like many probably reading this, grew up with Pokemon and have a special place in my heart for the property. However, I had my doubts about the movie, mainly because it was going to be a CGI-Live Action hybrid, and those tend to not be that great. But DAMN did the trailer change my mind. The world looks great, the designs of the Pokemon look great too, and might be unexpected; because I know I didn’t envision Pikachu with fur. Detective Pikachu co-stars Kathryn Newton, Karan Soni, Rita Ora, Suki Waterhouse, Bill Nighy and Ken Watanabe.

 John Wick: Chapter 3 – May 17th

John Wick (Keanu Reeves) is back again, and this time he’s being hunted down by everyone. At least that’s the impression we got after the ending of John Wick: Chapter 2. The first movie came out of nowhere, and now John Wick is one of the best action series out there. Are they simple (plot-wise)? Sure, but damn there are a lot of fun. John Wick: Chapter 3 co-stars Ian McShane, Halle Berry, Laurence Fishburne, Lance Reddick, Jason Mantzoukas, Robin Lord Taylor, Mark Dacascos and Anjelica Huston.

 Godzilla: King of the Monsters – May 31st

The gigantic sequel follows the agency Monarch trying to control the chaos that is to come when Godzilla battles three new monsters that have been awaken in Mothra, Rodan and the three-headed King Ghidorah. I know the first new Godzilla didn’t get a lot of love, but I personally enjoyed it. Now, not only do we get a sequel, but one that has all of the well-known other monsters we’ve come to know and love/hate. It also helps that the trailers are also great, and it looks epic! Godzilla: King of the Monsters stars Millie Bobby Brown, Kyle Chandler, Vera Farmiga, Ken Watanabe, Sally Hawkins, Ziyi Zhang, O’Shea Jackson Jr., Thomas Middleditch, Bradley Whitford and Charles Dance

 Spider-Man: Far From Home – July 5th

The last Marvel movie of the year, Spider-Man: Far From Home follows Peter (Tom Holland) and his friends on a summer vacation to Europe, where Peter is recruited by Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) to stop a powerful threat. Of course, there have been a lot of set photos to come out, and it’s also been revealed that Jake Gyllenhaal’s Quentin Beck aka Mysterio isn’t a villain and will be working with Spider-Man. Other than that, we don’t know much, but given that Homecoming was a great new addition, Far From Home should be good too, right? Spider-Man: Far From Home co-stars Zendaya, Cobie Smulders, Jacob Batalon and Marisa Tomei.

 Fast & Furious presents: Hobbs & Shaw – August 2nd

A spinoff of the Fast & Furious franchise, Hobbs & Shaw follows Agent Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) teaming up with once again with Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham). Despite how you feel about the Fast & Furious franchise – I personally think they are the ultimate turn-off-your-brain/have fun with it movies – the addition of Johnson’s Hobbs and Statham’s Shaw added a much needed boost to the franchise. Plus, the chemistry between Johnson and Statham was one of the best things about The Fate of the Furious, so a spinoff announcement had me onboard. Add on the fact that the movie will be directed by David Leitch (John Wick, Atomic Blonde, Deadpool 2) and have Idris Elba as the villain. Come on, I’m getting in line opening night. Hobbs & Shaw co-stars Vanessa Kirby, Eddie Marsan and Eiza Gonzalez.

 Honorable Mentions

Glass – January 18th

The Prodigy – February 8th

The Curse of La Llorona – April 19th

Brightburn – May 24th

Men in Black International – June 14th

Toy Story 4 – June 21st

The Lion King – July 19th

It: Chapter 2 – September 6th

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark – August 9th

Zombieland 2 – October 11th

Are You Afraid of the Dark? – October 11th

Star Wars: Episode IX – December 20th

 So, what movies are you looking forward to this year?

[notspoondere]

May 2018 List Re-Review

I did this once before for fun and wanted to do it again. For the reference, the May 2018 analysis was here.

If you’re not familiar with the idea, in this post I will be highlighting statements where I made predictions about the shape of the format to come and scoring them based on how accurate they turned out to be, then tallying those scores at the end to see how well I did. Let’s get into it.

(Also, September 2018 list analysis is on the way. I didn’t want to do it at first but have received a request for it.)

Master Peace, the True Dracoslaying King

Yep, this is Luster Pendulum.  He’s now Zoodiac Drident crossed with Apoqliphort Towers, and naturally he’s on the banlist again.  Feel old yet?

To continue on that analogy, I fully expect this deck to go the way of Qliphorts and continue to see play as a stun variant.  Note that nerfed Draco is still a better deck than Qliphorts, unfortunately.

Correct on both fronts: Qliphorts are still bad, and Draco is still seeing play as a stun deck with two variants, one using The Monarchs Erupt, and the other using Ghost Reaper & Winter Cherries, both with the intent of winning by preventing your opponent from playing the game and drawing cards to beat them down once they can’t.

Phoenixian Cluster Amaryllis

Woohoo, we won’t get Plant FTK!   With that, I have the feeling we’ll be getting the Aromage Link Monster next set, since that’s the card that enables this FTK.  Once again, a good hit.

Wrong: We didn’t get the Aromage link monster, but who cares. I’m not going to score this because this post isn’t really about my predictions about Konami’s product design, but rather the metagame.

Oh and we technically got a plant FTK involving Samsara Lotus. Whatever.

That Grass Looks Greener

F.

I’ve been a 60-card player since around this time last year, and Lightsworn is my favorite deck of all time, so I’m sad to see this one go, but it was absolutely responsible for 60-card decks’ most unfair hands.  “Oh, you decided to drop Ash Blossom on my Lonefire?  Here, let me just mill a third of my deck real quick and end on Naturia Beast or Void Ogre Dragon with Fairy Tail - Snow and Shiranui Spiritmaster in the GY.  Oh, and you only have three cards in hand.  Sorry, not sorry!”

There’s nothing factually wrong about this since there’s no real prediction, but I would like to mention here that a totally different 60-card deck has seen play since: it turns out that there are some Pendulum variants that legitimately have 60 cards they want to play and wouldn’t have played Grass even if they had the chance. Shine on, you crazy diamonds.

Dinomight Knight, the True Dracofighter

This is the best card in Draco that isn’t named Master Peace, and is the sole reason for why I think the deck isn’t totally dead.  Return and Apocalypse are still absurdly strong cards going first and this card searches them. 

Correct: I don’t think anyone would disagree that this is still the scariest card left in that deck (unless you think it’s Rivalry, but Frogs and Altergeist play that too).

Gem-Knight Master Diamond

Here’s another “spin the wheel” hit; the Gem-Knight that actually burns is Lady Lapis Lazuli, but hitting this hurts the deck’s attempts to play legitimately, too. Problem solved, I guess, but at what cost?

They can’t make Calamities anymore, either, but that matters much less when they can’t actually kill you, either.

Wrong, unfortunately. Gem-Knight FTK has topped once since this hit happened. I don’t know how and I don’t really care. They should have banned Lazuli.

Chain Strike

And there’s a strange hit!  Chain Burn has been a nuisance since, well, the release of Chain Strike, and this hit is kind of out of nowhere, but who cares.  Chain Burn is dead if you don’t draw an insane hand.  Better now than never.

Correct, haven’t seen this deck since. Don’t care to either.

Semi-Limited Cards

Apoqlihport Towers

Ring of Destruction

I’ll take “Cards that have seen no play” for 800, Alex.

Though much weaker in a format with copious Extra Deck-based removal by battle, this card’s namesake lives on as a reference point for insurmountable boss monsters.

This card’s errata in 2015 addressed its infamous problems in tournament by preventing it from stealing games and forcing draws.

Correct.

Neo-Spacian Grand Mole

Compulsory Evacuation Device

Fairy Tail - Luna saw no play and Solemn Strike is still at 3.  Who cares.

Also Correct.

Grandsoil the Elemental Lord

The functional errata is effective already, though we won’t get it in print until FLOD: SE.   Elementsaber buff, though the deck really isn’t good anyways.

I don’t remember getting this spicy. Yeah, Elementsabers didn’t turn out great. Correct.

Mathematician

This is still a solid card, honestly.  I could see it seeing play again in decks that don’t need a Normal Summon, or if they finally unban Construct.  I don’t think that deck’s in the game right now, but it could be soon.

So Mathematician saw no play whatsoever, but I still think it’s because the right deck doesn’t exist; after all, Armageddon Knight is arguably more restricted than Mathematician, and that card does see regular play (in Gouki because it’s a Warrior, in Dinosaurs because it can send Overtex, and in Zefra because it can send Destrudo). All that really proves is that a monster which consumes a Normal Summon in order to send something generic to the GY is good enough to play, and Mathematician is definitely that, so I think we’ll see him come up again once a more useful Level 4 or lower target is introduced for a Type or Attribute that doesn’t already have a better alternative, or for ones that need three more copies of it (with Armageddon Knight, Dinosaurs have eleven cards that send Overtex to GY or search a card that does). For that reason, I’ll call this a maybe--ultimately, as much as I can try to demonstrate that it’s a good card, it depends on whether that deck comes to exist.

Atlantean Dragoons

Dragoons was tearing through boards years before SPYRAL Tough was, and honestly, there’s very little stopping it from doing so now with Light of Sekka in the game (Abyss-scale is a brick and chances are that you don’t run any spells that do anything more impactful than drawing two cards and fixing your hand).  This is kind of like when Charge of the Light Brigade came back to 3: It’s a fairly solid buff to a fairly solid deck.  Add onto that the imminent reprint of Moulinglacia and the new Mermail Link Monster, and the deck is looking like it’s soon to be in a very strong place.

Mermails have seen minor competitive play, but it is certainly stronger than before, and indeed, the deck plays Sekka’s Light over Abyss-scale. Correct.

Ignis Heat, the True Dracowarrior

This means virtually nothing compared to Dinomight coming back to 1.

…

Okay, hear me out.  Ignis was the deck’s best play going second since it grabs Heritage, which plusses off of disruption.  That’s fine, but:

Amano-Iwato stops your opponent from doing anything to stop you already.

You are going to search your spells with Diagram anyways, and you don’t need your opponent to be using effects on your turn to do that.

Heritage is still a disruptable card itself, and the proper play with Ignis is usually to let him hit the board and swing over him later in order to give the opponent Heritage on a turn when they can’t immediately use it.

For these reasons… yeah, Ignis doesn’t actually matter that much.  Draco would still be fine with Ignis at 1, and I don’t really expect that he’ll be run at more than 2 at MOST due to the way optimal ratios work with Card of Demise.

This is a pretty contentious portion of that post and I kind of regret being so bold. Actually going through and looking at what was right and what wasn’t here is a mixed bag because much of it plays upon theory that is half-true and ended up being half-followed. Let’s take a look.

Ignis is an important card in Draco.

Ignis is a good card in Draco, and the deck often plays two or three copies.

True Draco with Master Peace and Demise regularly played the same ratios of eight monsters in the Main Deck: 3 Amano/Boarder, 1 Ignis, and two Majesty and Master Peace.

The current incarnation of the deck plays roughly nine monsters. It has lost two of the previously available ones and gained a potential three more; not counting the other Dracos, this would account for 3 Amano/Boarder and Ignis, 2 Majesty, and 1 Dinomight, but about half of the lists I’ve seen play two Ignis and a sparse few play Dreiath and/or Metaltron.

Waterfall of Dragon Souls is a fair bit more popular now than it was then, too.

Finally, optimal ratios for Demise necessitate as few monsters as possible, but optimal ratios for Desires insist that you play more cards in triplicate than usual.

So with that said: I feel safe in saying Ignis can be justified at 2 or 3 copies, and I definitely feel safe in saying that he’s a worse card than Dinomight. Going off of this, I’m tempted to say I’m right, but my language was a bit too decisive and derisive (surely people would have played 3 Ignis even if it was demonstrably wrong), so I’ll say this was at least partially wrong and call it a maybe.

In the last section, I made a bunch of predictions about various decks; I’ll go over them each and judge how they should be scored. I’ll also tally this separately just to see how well I guessed how the format would pan out; these will not be scored twice if I mentioned them earlier.

Magicians nerfed.  FTK and Zexal builds murdered.  Pure deck is still viable.

Every other pendulum deck nerfed, though pure Metalfoes arguably lost the least. (Zefra didn’t use Astrograph at all, but really needed AFD.)

Magicians are still a tier 1-2 deck (is Gouki tier 0 or 1?). Pure Metalfoes actually really liked having Astrograph, though for what it’s worth, it is the only one of these decks that doesn’t need to play bad cards in order to make Vortex. Zefra also did play Astrograph, though at the time, the only Zefra player I knew complained that it took two slots in a very tight extra.  Maybe on this.

Draco nerfed.  Still viable, mark my words.

Correct.

60-card is dead outright.  The best playmakers are still there, but Left Arm into Grass is no longer valid backup for Lonefire Blossom.  You may see 40-card Dino or Zombiesworn lists in the future given good enough hands, but there’s no good way to fit the Lonefire combo in 40 cards without bricking too often.

So this is a weird one. The Lonefire combo has seen play at least once in the form of a Gouki deck, but that follows a different combo route than the Lightsworn variant did and is demonstrably a worse version of that deck: it’s hard to get more explosive than Gouki already is, and it requires at least two more bricks. 60-card decks as we knew them are totally dead, so I’ll say this is correct.

Gem-Knight FTK dead.

As mentioned above, unfortunately wrong. Haven’t seen it beyond that one time, though.

Chain Burn, for some reason, also dead.

Haven’t seen it since. Correct.

Every deck that plays Destrudo into AFD is nerfed or dead.  I expect ABC and Zefra to survive through sheer power, though both lost much in consistency.

This is correct as it is obvious. Calvin Tahan would top with ABC in Nekroz format if it happened again today and Zefra will be better than the best rogue deck until they start losing copies of Zefraath or get horrendously powercrept.

Invoked are fine, though invoked hybrids lost AFD, I guess.

Invoked didn’t really do much but get power crept. I guess this is wrong? The one Invoked hybrid, AKA the deck with six field spell engines and nothing else, did lose this, but it also literally died. So.

World Chalice untouched.  If you think you’re good at this game, try this deck and realize how wrong you are.

I didn’t make an explicit prediction here, so no score, but I should mention that it did top at least once during this time. The only list I can find doesn’t use Knightmares to their full potential, but to be honest, the deck doesn’t entirely need them; it can still do an extra link and make the opponent discard four cards off of an opening hand Venus and any monster without Knightmare Goblin.

SPYRAL untouched.  Easily a top-tier contender.

Deck was really good for a while, yeah. Correct.

Burning Abyss untouched.  Still a solid deck with proper backrow.

Well goddamn, it turns out Burning Abyss is still a solid deck without proper backrow. Current lists run Sekka’s Light at three copies and more than a dozen hand traps. I’d like to call this a coincidental maybe, but I honestly felt at the time that Burning Abyss was only strong due to its ability to pack in powerful backrow without losing consistency, and in that regard, I was totally wrong.

Paleozoics untouched, though the worst part of their worst matchup is totally gone, and they’re very solid versus Altergeist.  Budget players, keep an eye on this deck.

Paleo Frogs were good for about half of the format and dropped off pretty hard. It’s not like what it does it bad, just that there are more counters to it. Also is indeed a budget deck. Still correct.

Neo-Spacians tier 1, obviously.

AHAHAHHAHHAAHAHHHAAHHAHAAHHAAHHAHAH

This dumbass one-off comment I made has come full circle because Neo-Spacian Aqua Dolphin saw regular play in a tier 1 deck, that being Gouki. It is played because it’s a level 3 Warrior that can mulligan your opponent’s hand of hand traps, and in that regard, it is absolutely unmatched. This card’s burn damage closed out the last game of the European WCQ in time. Do I deserve to be correct for this? You decide. I think so.

Trickstar ANYTHING

This deck has fallen off a bit, but Drollcarnation is still legal and the deck is still a threat based off of that alone.

Another funny one. This wasn’t that true early in the format, but so-called Kid Touch (Trickstar Sky Striker) ended up being a tier 1 deck for a couple of tournaments immediately after the implementation of the new end-of-match procedures, though not entirely because of them, and not entirely because of Drollcarnation, but both together ended up being an unbelievably scary combo: Trickstars could now make Link Monsters without drawing Scapegoat, and Sky Strikers could get even more consistent advantage while also ticking away with burn at a time where it matters the most. Correct either way.

Tallies after eliminating duplicates:

11 Correct

3 Maybe

3 Wrong

64.7% correct, 17.6% definitely incorrect. Pretty good ratio.

[notspoondere]

Rocky Shocky Dracos - May 2018 Banlist

Banlist season is kind of savage when you think about it; everyone’s out for blood, and they turn to tournament results for donors.

Spoiler:  we didn’t get much blood, but this list was fairly solid nonetheless.

The best decks of this format were Pendulum Magicians (notable variants included the Magician FTK, which copied the effect of Lyrilusc - Independent Nightingale twice with Supreme King Dragon Starving Venom to burn for 4000 twice; and the Zexal variant, which used Chronograph Sorcerer to make Beatrice in order to dump Rank-Up-Magic Argent Chaos Force, then overlay Gaia Dragon, the Thunder Charger to add it back to hand, then discard it to turn Number 39: Utopia into Number S0: Utopic ZEXAL) and True Draco (almost entirely Demise, though the Metalfoes variant also faired well).  Almost nothing else came close to these decks, though the format was fairly diverse apart from that: 60-card variants, Dinosaur variants, 60-card Dinosaur variants (wow!!), SPYRAL, Burning Abyss, Zefra, Metalfoes, Mekk-Knight Invoked, and sometimes ABC and Trickstar all made significant tournament placements during the format, and for a while, it seemed like everyone was happy.

Of course, that’s ignoring the two legal FTKs.  In addition to the above Pendulum FTK, Gem-Knights got a Link Monster last set, and as a result, generated some easy combos to burn 8000 on turn 1 by making Lady Lapis Lazuli and copying her effect with Gem-Knight Master Diamond.  If you interrupt it, they end on True King of All Calamities instead, for an equally interactive experience.

Oh, and Draco was pretty uninteractive as well.  You could spend your entire turn building the biggest board of monsters ever conceived by man, but any board without backrow could more or less be outed with good old Rocky Shocky (Amano-Iwato + Raigeki), down to the point where it was the default answer to any “break my board” post on Zodiac Duelist.  Once they got in, or if they went first, they spiced up the experience by flipping two or three of the exact same floodgates every single time, so you’d have to deal with outing a Master Peace on top of obscenely powerful backrow.  Oh, and Amano-Iwato also prevents the activation of handtraps (except for Infinite Impermanence), so you can’t do anything about them drawing cards!!

Mind you, this is on top of an already GOOD archetype.  Imagine telling someone playing 2016 Monarchs that they made an archetype where all of the continuous spells were Eidos and drew cards, and all of the traps were Escalation, and one of them was also Monster Reborn, and all of the monsters went plus if your opponent tried to play the game, and every time you Tribute Summoned, you also destroyed stuff, and the field spell was BETTER than Domain, and...

But that’s over now, right?  Did they finally do Draco dirty this time?  We’ll see.

Forbidden

Astrograph Sorcerer

Astro, Astro.  It’s funny how long it took for this card to become good: it wasn’t played at all until Electrumite came out, but I guess that makes sense, since Electrumite is the reason this card had to go straight from 3 to 0.  Let’s get into why this card in particular is so ridiculous, and why it was obviously the best hit.

Astrograph Sorcerer does three important things.

You can destroy it in scale to summon Stargazer Magician from the deck or hand.  This makes half of Electrumite without a Pendulum or Normal Summon.

If a monster is destroyed, you can summon Astrograph from hand to search another copy of any monster that was destroyed this turn.  This isn’t even once per turn, and can activate even if Astrograph wasn’t in hand when it happened.

Astrograph is level 7, so you can overlay him for Odd-Eyes Absolute Dragon, which can float into Odd-Eyes Meteorburst Dragon or Odd-Eyes Vortex Dragon when it leaves the field; this comprises about 1/3 of the ending board of any Pendulum deck.

Best part is that putting it to 1 doesn’t stop you from being able to loop it at all!  You can resolve it multiple times per turn with just one copy thanks to Electrumite’s effect.

Yeah, this was a great hit.

Master Peace, the True Dracoslaying King

Yep, this is Luster Pendulum.  He’s now Zoodiac Drident crossed with Apoqliphort Towers, and naturally he’s on the banlist again.  Feel old yet?

To continue on that analogy, I fully expect this deck to go the way of Qliphorts and continue to see play as a stun variant.  Note that nerfed Draco is still a better deck than Qliphorts, unfortunately.

Phoenixian Cluster Amaryllis

Woohoo, we won’t get Plant FTK!  With that, I have the feeling we’ll be getting the Aromage Link Monster next set, since that’s the card that enables this FTK.  Once again, a good hit.

Supreme King Dragon Starving Venom

Magicians lost two cards, it turns out.  Did I mention when you copy Independent Nightingale with this, it becomes unaffected by card effects?  And it’s a 3000 beater with piercing?  And you don’t even have to use Polymerization?

There were people making the case for Nightingale being banned instead of this, but I’d like to make the argument that copy effects limit design space even more than random Level 1 birds that can burn do.

I actually think the FTK more or less dies with Astrograph, but this helps to make that certain.

Ancient Fairy Dragon

Remember how everyone laughed at that Fairytale archetype and then, on the same day, an FTK was discovered off of the field spell?

Remember how ABC-Dragon Buster is a 1.5 card combo off of any Field Spell?

Remember Fieldspell.dek, which ends on UCT + Mechaba or Naturia Beast with no trouble whatsoever?

Yeah, you can thank this card for all of that.  There are people that think Ancient Fairy is innocent, but this card is absolutely the culprit.  I bought a copy not too long ago, but I’m glad I’ll be putting her into the “banned cards” page of my binder, hopefully never to see the light of day again.

Rank-Up-Magic Argent Chaos Force

And here’s the first case where I feel like they picked the card to hit at random, as Konami used to do.  The Zexal combo required a bunch of cards to exist within the game:

RUM ACF

Chronograph Sorcerer

Beatrice, Lady of the Eternal

Number S0: Utopic ZEXAL

Gaia Dragon, etc...

It seems like Konami spun a wheel for this one, since I can’t imagine Utopic ZEXAL coming up in any non-degenerate strategies, and it certainly prevents them from printing any searchable non-Quick-Play Rank-Up-Magics, but who cares, buy Links!

That Grass Looks Greener

F.

I’ve been a 60-card player since around this time last year, and Lightsworn is my favorite deck of all time, so I’m sad to see this one go, but it was absolutely responsible for 60-card decks’ most unfair hands.  “Oh, you decided to drop Ash Blossom on my Lonefire?  Here, let me just mill a third of my deck real quick and end on Naturia Beast or Void Ogre Dragon with Fairy Tail - Snow and Shiranui Spiritmaster in the GY.  Oh, and you only have three cards in hand.  Sorry, not sorry!”

Limited Cards

Dinomight Knight, the True Dracofighter

This is the best card in Draco that isn’t named Master Peace, and is the sole reason for why I think the deck isn’t totally dead.  Return and Apocalypse are still absurdly strong cards going first and this card searches them. 

Gem-Knight Master Diamond

Here’s another “spin the wheel” hit; the Gem-Knight that actually burns is Lady Lapis Lazuli, but hitting this hurts the deck’s attempts to play legitimately, too. Problem solved, I guess, but at what cost?

They can’t make Calamities anymore, either, but that matters much less when they can’t actually kill you, either.

Chain Strike

And there’s a strange hit!  Chain Burn has been a nuisance since, well, the release of Chain Strike, and this hit is kind of out of nowhere, but who cares.  Chain Burn is dead if you don’t draw an insane hand.  Better now than never.

Semi-Limited Cards

Apoqlihport Towers

Ring of Destruction

I’ll take “Cards that have seen no play” for 800, Alex.

Unlimited Cards

I’m doing these out of order so I can sort them into tiers depending on how much discussion they actually deserve.  Without further ado:

Neo-Spacian Grand Mole

Compulsory Evacuation Device

Fairy Tail - Luna saw no play and Solemn Strike is still at 3.  Who cares.

Grandsoil the Elemental Lord

The functional errata is effective already, though we won’t get it in print until FLOD: SE.  Elementsaber buff, though the deck really isn’t good anyways.

Mathematician

This is still a solid card, honestly.  I could see it seeing play again in decks that don’t need a Normal Summon, or if they finally unban Construct.  I don’t think that deck’s in the game right now, but it could be soon.

Atlantean Dragoons

Dragoons was tearing through boards years before SPYRAL Tough was, and honestly, there’s very little stopping it from doing so now with Light of Sekka in the game (Abyss-scale is a brick and chances are that you don’t run any spells that do anything more impactful than drawing two cards and fixing your hand).  This is kind of like when Charge of the Light Brigade came back to 3: It’s a fairly solid buff to a fairly solid deck.  Add onto that the imminent reprint of Moulinglacia and the new Mermail Link Monster, and the deck is looking like it’s soon to be in a very strong place.

Ignis Heat, the True Dracowarrior

This means virtually nothing compared to Dinomight coming back to 1.

...

Okay, hear me out.  Ignis was the deck’s best play going second since it grabs Heritage, which plusses off of disruption.  That’s fine, but:

Amano-Iwato stops your opponent from doing anything to stop you already.

You are going to search your spells with Diagram anyways, and you don’t need your opponent to be using effects on your turn to do that.

Heritage is still a disruptable card itself, and the proper play with Ignis is usually to let him hit the board and swing over him later in order to give the opponent Heritage on a turn when they can’t immediately use it.

For these reasons... yeah, Ignis doesn’t actually matter that much.  Draco would still be fine with Ignis at 1, and I don’t really expect that he’ll be run at more than 2 at MOST due to the way optimal ratios work with Card of Demise.

END OF LIST

And that’s it.  So what happened here?

Magicians nerfed.  FTK and Zexal builds murdered.  Pure deck is still viable.

Every other pendulum deck nerfed, though pure Metalfoes arguably lost the least. (Zefra didn’t use Astrograph at all, but really needed AFD.)

Draco nerfed.  Still viable, mark my words.

60-card is dead outright.  The best playmakers are still there, but Left Arm into Grass is no longer valid backup for Lonefire Blossom.  You may see 40-card Dino or Zombiesworn lists in the future given good enough hands, but there’s no good way to fit the Lonefire combo in 40 cards without bricking too often.

Gem-Knight FTK dead.

Plant FTK pre-emptively dead.

Chain Burn, for some reason, also dead.

Every deck that plays Destrudo into AFD is nerfed or dead.  I expect ABC and Zefra to survive through sheer power, though both lost much in consistency.

Invoked are fine, though invoked hybrids lost AFD, I guess.

World Chalice untouched.  If you think you’re good at this game, try this deck and realize how wrong you are.

SPYRAL untouched.  Easily a top-tier contender.

Burning Abyss untouched.  Still a solid deck with proper backrow.

Paleozoics untouched, though the worst part of their worst matchup is totally gone, and they’re very solid versus Altergeist.  Budget players, keep an eye on this deck.

Mermails buffed.  Remember to respect this deck, since anyone who’s still got it has probably been holding onto the cards for years (especially if they have Moulinglacia, that shit went straight up to $40 a pop).

...

...

...

Neo-Spacians tier 1, obviously.

EXTRA: Cards that Did Not Get Hit, Somehow

Card of Demise

Normal Amano-Iwato, set 3, activate Diagram, Demise.  Your opponent looks you straight in the eye as if you could respond, but he knows the truth.  In the pursuit of victory, he lost whatever part of his heart that was capable of compassion.  Even now, there’s no saving him.

This card provides way too much advantage in the right decks and has deserved a hit for like four or five lists in a row now.  I’ll be happy to see it gone, but Konami seems to think not.  Maybe LC Kaiba still needs to sell?

Trickstar ANYTHING

This deck has fallen off a bit, but Drollcarnation is still legal and the deck is still a threat based off of that alone.

Scapegoat

Free 1-card Borreload if your deck doesn’t SS on the opponent’s turn!  That’s fair, right?  Kill me.