#I might be misinterpreting something here- it’s late and I just remembered these logs

[chipistrate]

If Vanessa is the protagonist in HW2, where would the training simulator made to help someone find out what they want to do at the plex fit in, when she seemed to just have a very normal interview?

She was “recommended” for the position, she wasn’t recommended to work at the plex as a whole- she was recommended to work security. If she got that position, why would she need to go through this whole training simulator of every job in the Pizzaplex? We haven’t even seen any night time security minigames(though that would be cool(no SL night doesn’t count))

Not necessarily doubting the theory, just wondering how the timeline would work/gen

[mde1011]

when i got into the dsmp i started a note and wrote down any quotes or moments i thought were funny, and im bored at 3 am so enjoy some of them

how is being arrested real? just walk away!!!”

⁃ “once an american always an american. go...go protests masks...or something”

⁃ “...yEAH BUT DID YOU HAVE WAP” “what’s...whats wap?” “...WORSHIP AND PRAYER”

⁃ “HOW DO YOU LIKE POLITICS MOTHERFUCKER”

⁃ “i’m naked” “...no you’re not” “i can be...”

⁃ “uhhhh i’m in a high stress situation....i deal with these poorly”

⁃ “i should go first i’m naked”

⁃ “yEAHHHH WE KILLED AN OLD MAN WITH HEART PROBLEMS”

⁃ “what are you going to do?” “i...have no idea i think i’m gonna start out by punching a tree”

⁃ “tOmmy...did i just hear you say shit ass looking mofo?”

⁃ “i aM gOinG to gEt nAkeD to iNtiMidAtE HiM”

- “...i want freedom !” “you want BALLS.”

⁃ “...down the line. yeah that’s where we discover the art of cannibalism” “oh it’s an art?” “it’s an art”

⁃ “oh there’s some logs here. wonder what they’re saying to me. uh huh. uh huh. oh yeah that’s very racist” “tommy you gotta burn those logs.” “burn ‘em before they spread their racism to other logs”

⁃ “are you pooing?” “*whisper* i’m charging up-““ “he’s ejaculating on the tent.” “he’s WHAT?”

⁃ “he’s sPEEDING. LOOK HOW FAST HES GOING” “i’ve taken so many drugs. someone tell badboyhalo”

⁃ “we should make a pact. and that pact is, uh, we make a book...and in that book...we declare that saying ‘muffin’ is a, is a slur”

⁃ “i was thinking what if one day your bladder just,,,,stopped working.....AGGGFFFFF i was tHINKING ABOUT THAT THE OTHER DAY IVE GOT TO PREPARE IVE GOT YO PREPARE thisiswhydiapersaintthatbad”

⁃ <sapnap> i think i was ordered to um

<tommyinnit> boobed

<sapnap> kill you

<tommyinnit> boobs

<sapnap> if this happens

<tommyinnit> think about boobs man

<sapnap> tsk tsk tommy

<tommyinnit> iM DISGRUNTLED

⁃ “why is this deadman so good at making drugs”

⁃ “i just learnt that a girl hero is called a heroine and it freaked me out”

⁃ “memento memento me-“ “that’s actually the worst word i know so you can’t keep saying that” “oh, really.....? have you ever heard the term ‘racist’?”

⁃ “the person who invented the phrase ‘be yourself’ hadn’t met you!”

⁃ “you seem like the type of guy whose dad would throw him overboard as a joke but he would just drown”

⁃ “shout out to dream for twerking!”

⁃ “let’s talk......let’s talk about sex” “wonderful. what do you think about sex, lazarbeam?” “i ain’t saying SHIT in front of a sixteen year old”

⁃ “what the- i think i’m seeing things” “....tommy i told you not to drink the sea water” “well i DID drink the sea water because it TOLD ME TO”

⁃ “it’s like the movie when that guy gets stranded on an island and has sex with a coconut” “whAT?? dream- dream, you vastly misinterpreted this” “it one hundred percent does”

⁃ “oh mastICATE.....isn’t that when a fish turns inside out?”

⁃ “what are some bad words YOU know, clay?” “i don’t-“ “what about ‘terrorist’?”

⁃ “my mind has to be on the same frequency as jesus when he walked on water”

⁃ “you wanna know why i was late?” “no i really do-“ “i was having a MASSIVE poo. really just a HUGE poo”

⁃ “jUST CUZ YOU TALK ABOUT POO ONCE AND THEN YOU SEE A BIG GREEN BASTARD AMD YOUR LIFE IS FLASHING BEFORE YOUR EYES AND THEN YOU CANT REMEMBER- YOU CANT REMEMBER IF IT WAS YESTERDAY OR TOMORROW YOU HURT THAT WOMAN”

⁃ “i love america. mmmmm patriotism

⁃ “LIFE IS NOT A HAPPY SONG KERMIT THE FROG”

⁃ “please stop taking the cock”

⁃ “two four six eight who do we appreciate? not the government let’s gooooooo”

⁃ “oooo look at the dogs😍” “wHAAAAAT. WHAT. THERES ACTUALLY LIKE. A MILLION DOGS HERE. WHAT THE HELL.”

⁃ “yeahhhhh bitch i stab- i don’t stab women-“ “woooooooah tommy you stab women?” “heyyyy sapnap”

⁃ “do you know what happens whne you reach the top of the ladder? there’s only one place to go.” “.....side to side😨” “down.” “...i really thought you were gonna say side to side🥺”

⁃ “one last time.” “just like in hamilton😓”

⁃ “you don’t know how many times i’ve mistaken trees for hot women”

⁃ “ i don’t feel better i just destroyed penis”

⁃ “i’ve never seen a snail with bad morals”

⁃ “awwwwwwww😢 i’m doin’ drugs🤧 just like the good ol’ days😓” “.....define the ‘good old days’” “back when i did drugs”

⁃ “have you ever fought a baby? i have and it was trivially easy to defeat, phil.”

⁃ “the only other i egg i know about was the one i learnt about in school....not allowed to say which one....”

⁃ “did you know one of my new years resolutions is to be more like 2010 justin bieber?”

⁃ “apparently cats don’t lay eggs”

⁃ “thinking about trees- if i saw a tree with a beard mmmmmm...holy shit id hit it”

⁃ “we’re in hell dude. science doesn’t matter here”

⁃ “i cant die i cant die i’m GOD”

⁃ “hey pig your letter is the same as pussy, hmm?”

⁃ “are we cool are we COOL guys? CRYSTAL COOL like CRYSTAL METH”

⁃ “he- he’s crying because - because i killed his mother isn’t that right? mother dearest mother deadest mother gonest”

⁃ “bro ive been drinking since i was six and let me tell you...it’s not good to be drinking that young. led to some poor life decisions when i was 8” “what did you do” “i cant say” “...who did you hurt” “....only myself”

⁃ “je suis” “ay i know what that mean you prick” “what does it mean” “it means you’re racist dickhead”

⁃ “i’d never poo in the presence of a women- which is why i’m scared to get a girlfriend i think i’d just explode”

⁃ “biff tannen is one of my idols”

⁃ “black widow died and i thought ‘wow it should’ve been the man’ because he’s a man”

⁃ “there’s a character called captain america and i think he’s stupid”

⁃ “i’m a GOOD LAD i’ve got GOOD MORALS and if i’ve DONE SOMETHING WRONG it WASNT MY FAULT I JUST GOT A LITTLE EXCITED”

⁃ “sam....what’s the longest you’ve ever wiped your arse? for me it’s 48 minutes”

⁃ “why are you standing in the shitter?” “....that’s a SINK” “uhhh welllll” “hAVE YOU SHAT IN THE SINK?????”

⁃ “you’re like a living ghost” “...i think that’s called a human, tubbo”

⁃ “maybe i accidentally kill ranboo and we just never see him again *laughs* ay? and then i go ‘april foooools!!!’ and then i kill their child. i kill him”

⁃ “you built a penis” “it’s a PENIS OF SAFETY”

⁃ “i saw the penis of safety and i pressed mouse button four my friend”

⁃ “the penis on the other side of the river is larger” “ive heard that before....”

⁃ “you’ve turned the penis into a wall” “a wall of safety is better than a penis of safety” “i think the penis was better”

⁃ “if you wanna make a penis i know where we can make a penis and i know how big we can make it”

⁃ “i don’t conceptualize death but i think i just saw it!”

⁃ “yeah i- yeah i know i’m- my first impression on eret was making him read a shrek fan fiction so- i’m not one for first impressions”

⁃ “i-i’m scared for him- i’m scared OF him. yknow the first thing he did when he saw me was imMEDIATELY strip down then jump off then immediately die?”

⁃ “where are you?” “getting stabbed, one second”

⁃ “you’ve seen the joker?” “yea-“ “i resonate a lot with that man” “...oH. oh. that’s- that’s not-“

⁃ “he bURNT DOWN MY HOUSE” “out of LOVE”

⁃ “ohhhh my god stop making me play with the neighbor kid” “o-okay if you don’t go play with him i’m kicking you out of the house-“ “wHAT THE FUCK???”

⁃ “there’s a STRIP CLUB” “oh yeah for wood!” “are you into strippers?” “i mean all it does is make the wood look different so....yeah it doesn’t really do much”

⁃ “no no we have categories, we have the poo-saster- you might have to take a shower after-“ “no, no i’m gonna stop you right there”

⁃ “as i was saying you can have a 1-to-3 wiper, that’s an A-tier poo, my friend”

⁃ “i want you to eat your sock”

⁃ “you know i’m a child- i’m a minor” “sO AM I DICKHEAD”

⁃ “everyone is calling you dresus” “yeah i am”

⁃ “ayyyy ayyyy los DROGAS LOS DROGAS” “no no big q- she’s thirteen- how does this happen with every 13 year old girl you meet?”

⁃ “my poo has muscles like i do”

⁃ “i cant hear the words among us without crying they’ll say there are aliens among us and in the back youll just hear me *choking noises*”

⁃ “tubbo...tubbo is like...tubbo is like mary” “.....did you just call me the Virgin Mary?”

⁃ “i’m just saying, have you ever seen me and jesus in the same room?”

⁃ “do you smoke sam” “all the time”

⁃ “i thought you were talking about the- the speeeeed drug”

⁃ “have you ever sold drugs to kids sam?” “......no”

⁃ “we can’t let the girlboss rule because she will gatekeepe my feelings” “that would not be good”

⁃ “THEY DIDNT INVITE ME TO KILL ME???? NOW I HAVE FOMO”

⁃ “you have obviously taken part in scientology-“ “i have not-“ “you’ve donated to tom cruises cult shit”

⁃ “....am i worse than david dobrik?” “are- are we worse than david dobrik?” “oh- oh god”

⁃ “he has broke one of the rules of the hit best seller ‘the bible’- this kind of looks like a cock”

⁃ “well i’ve moved now, KING”

⁃ “what is an angsty teen and am i one? because when i USED to hang out with my friends they use the word angst a lot”

⁃ “yeah yeah yeah i bench”

⁃ “sam i think i’m angsty i think i’m an angsty tik tok teen looking for a community to help me out”

⁃ “i don’t think you’ve followed the train of logic all the way-“ “there’s a TRAIN INVOLVED????????”

⁃ “i’m like the orange fucker from that animated rom com”

⁃ “i’m under the influence of big cock”

⁃ “it’s meeee big cock man”

⁃ “i cant look away” “sam please use your twitter alt for this” “he’s horny on maaaainnnnn” “and what’s wrong with that?” “.......”

⁃ “you’re a FUCKING IDIOT” “IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT, BIG COCK”

⁃ “i’m gonna call you ‘cockity’ big cock” “sHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP-“

⁃ “STOP LOOKING AT IT” “ITS SO VIBRANT”

⁃ “at least this guy doesn’t have a cock-“ “itS NOT A COCK” “horny on main jesus-“

⁃ “is that a cock” “SHUT THE FUCK UP”

⁃ “.....i wanna see the inside of it again do a split”

⁃ “okay sam-“ “tommy that guy wants your cock-“ “no- no he doesn’t sam”

⁃ “sam, sam and i need you to hear this....dont. act. up.” “i don’t act up-“ “you were acting up-“ “i-“ “you were caught in 8k.” “but- but we both agree it’s not a tie-“

⁃ “please don’t tell me to kill cockity i am overwhelmed”

⁃ “why is there an anus in my tie?”

⁃ “what are the legal implications of this?” “...i mean besides hell you’re good”

⁃ “whatre the legal implications?” “i mean usually that’s a no-no but today, today it’s fine” “yeahhh lets go murder his family”

⁃ “i’d be an antivax landlord”

⁃ “jesus never does drugs” “well- well you turned water into wine king and wine is alcohol”

⁃ “can you put on pants i can’t- i cant stop looking at it- sorry tommy i know you said-“ “yeah sam i know you tried-“

⁃ “you know i fuck with satan”

⁃ “i’m sorry jesus lucifer is just such a good man-“ “oh you- hold me BACK FROM THIS FUCKER HOLD ME BACK ILL SEND HIM TO HELL YOU LIKE HELL-“

⁃ “are you jesus or just a man who grew a beard and put on a suit?”

⁃ “even the guy with his cock out is telling you to stop-“ “oh jesus, and i mean jesus-“ “shUT THE FUCK UP MAN”

⁃ “the best best way to slander him is to stop his offspring; we need to kick him the balls.....no? not a good....? alright us four each take a ball-“

⁃ “......why did jesus give him four scrotums man🙁🙁”

[winetae]

➯ a saint in her halo (m.) 10:21pm

↳  drabble; 2.7k

:: smut, college!au, sunbae!jin

:: phone sex, humiliation

beneath his immaculate appearance and flowery words, no one would expect such filth to spew from his lips

...

or; kim seokjin is simultaneously the best and worst kind of distraction

a/n : this is a sequel to a saint in her halo 3:49pm :)

Late at night, you finally give Seokjin a call.

.

.

The memory of your last encounter is still fresh on your mind. Even when you’re not consciously thinking about it - about him - your upper thigh burns like it still remembers the sharp dig of the ballpoint pen rubbing across your bare skin. The constant physical reminder of his touch makes it difficult to concentrate on your everyday activities. It feels like he’s branded you, burned his way into you and made you his. Each time you think you forget, your thigh throbs and heat simmers beneath the surface.

The scrawl of numbers has long since been smudged and erased. To the naked eye, your skin has become a blank canvas once more.

“Call me,” he had said. And God, do you want to.

You don’t work up the courage right away. How can you?

At the time, immediately saving his phone number into your contact list had seemed like a brilliant idea. Now you’re not so sure. Imagination and fantasies are one thing - but in the reality you live in, you aren’t half as bold or confident as you aspire to be. A million reasons stop you, not all of them unfounded - rationality, embarrassment, fear of rejection.

That doesn’t stop you from letting your mind wander, however. The possibility that the call might go well, that it might lead to something else... You sigh, stopping your thoughts before they have time to root themselves deep inside of you and grow into something you can no longer control.

Your friends attempt to urge you into action.

“He gave you his number. I doubt he gave it to you just so you could store it away for safe keeping.”

“What if I read the situation wrong?” You bite your nail. In all honesty, you’re not intentionally trying to be obtuse. Even if you’re unsure as to why, you know deep down that Seokjin’s actions, the way his low voice toyed with you and messed with your insides, are impossible to misinterpret.

“I get it. You like him a lot and don’t want to fuck it up. But if you don’t even try, you’ll never know - and isn’t not knowing worse?”

There’s logic behind the argument, you concede. As the rest of the week stretches on and your mind never fully stops revolving around Seokjin, you start to think that the strange limbo you find yourself stranded in can’t possibly be a crueler fate than rejection. At this point, you don’t feel like yourself anymore, constantly stuck in a phase of uncertainty and hazy arousal. Your thoughts are no longer yours; they belong to Seokjin. All of your half-hearted attempts to banish him from your mind prove to be futile. By diligently trying not to think about him, you only exacerbate the problem.

Perhaps it would be wiser to simply give into your desires instead of driving yourself half-delirious with desire.

Your thumb hovers over the call button more than once. Every time something stops you, whether it be the doorbell ringing, your roommate’s dog barking, the smell of burning toast. There’s always something, always an excuse to back out instead of taking the plunge. You don’t know if these interruptions are supposed to be blessings or curses in disguise. Maybe it’s the universe’s way of telling you that calling Seokjin is a terrible idea, one that should never be acted upon.

Against the universe’s wishes, you press call. The press of your fingerprint against your screen is quick, too quick to process and too quick to take back. You stare at your phone dumbly as it rings on. It’s finally at the third ring that something akin to panic snaps inside of you. What have you done? But before you can hang up and delete the number from your call log, he picks up.

“Hello?”

Your insides clench. Your thigh burns.

“Sunbae. Hi.” You clutch the phone as you press it against your ear.

“Oh?” On the other side of the line, he perks up, sounding pleased. You can hear him move around until the background voices become muted, like he’s secluded himself to talk to you without any distractions. Knowing that he’s focusing his attention solely on you makes your heart stutter pathetically. “I was starting to think you’d never call.”

“You know who I am?” Only then do you realize you had forgotten to introduce yourself.

“I don’t give out my number often. I remember when I do.” He doesn’t even give you any time to process his words, just proceeds to shamelessly continue on, his voice dropping an octave, “I’ve never - I kept thinking about last time. I thought you would call that night.”

“Oh.” There’s a lump in your throat you struggle to swallow down. “I was - busy. Had an assignment due. Sorry.”

“Don’t. I’d expect nothing less from a good girl like you,” he chuckles. “I’m happy to talk to you now.”

Your gulp is audible. There it is again - the praise. Except this time you can’t help but feel like you don’t deserve it. If he knew what sort of salacious thoughts ran through your head all day, maybe he’d change his mind.

“I’m not.”

“What?”

“I mean.” You backtrack, voice small. “I’m not as good as you think.”

“Oh?”

You shut your eyes tight. You’re so embarrassed you might die on the spot. Never in your life have you attempted to say something so brazen. While it’s definitely not as risqué as the pick-up lines you’ve heard your peers employ, it’s so out of character that your friends would probably all freak out if they discovered that you were flirting with Seokjin - one of the most confident and self-assured people on campus, who had a good half of its population chasing after him. In other words, not only is he not in your league, but you’re way out of your depth.

Seokjin gently coaxes you out your inner ramblings by saying your name once or twice.

“Are you alone right now?” he says, his voice smoother than the fanciest silk dress.

“Yes, I’m, um... My roommate won’t be home for another hour.”

You bite your nail, wondering why you would offer that last bit of information up unprompted. In hindsight, it seems awfully forward, almost like you’re hoping for something to happen. Are you? What do you want to happen?

He hums in response. Your heartbeat doesn’t slow down. You can feel it knock against your ribs, shaking your core.

“An hour is—” you stop yourself before you can finish. Can you really say this?

“Is?” Seokjin encourages.

Idly, you wonder how he’s able to do that - coax you out of your shell and get you to say things you’d normally never dare utter. Maybe hiding behind a phone call makes you reckless and brave. There’s no one present to witness you make a fool of yourself. No one except for Seokjin - but he’s been nothing but kind and patient.

You let out a shaky breath and steady your heart. Somehow, you know that even if you still lack the skills to pull this off, Seokjin will refrain from poking fun at you. That piece of knowledge is enough to steel your nerves and give you the final push you need.

“Is an hour enough to play with me?”

A more experienced girl would’ve made the phrase sound seductive and enticing. Your clumsy attempt is evidently less alluring than what you’d been aiming for but Seokjin, surprisingly, seems affected all the same.

He exhales sharply before chuckling, the rumbling sound doing strange things to your insides. “Cute.”

Cute? You’d been hoping for ‘sexy’.

“What are you wearing right now?”

The question catches you off-guard. You glance down and frown at the sight. You’d thrown on an old pair of shorts and a tank top as soon as you’d gotten home. Should you lie and say you’d worn a sheer negligee instead? You don’t want to ruin Seokjin’s fantasy but you have a feeling that even if you fibbed, you’d be found out in an instant.

“It’s really nothing special...” You squirm, limbs twisting in the sheets as you try to find a more comfortable position. Talking with Seokjin makes you restless. “Just a tank top and shorts. Ah, but—”

You worry your bottom lip between your teeth. Maybe it won’t make a difference but you have nothing to lose at this point, right?

“I’m not - I don’t have a bra on.” In the back of your mind, you’re grateful Seokjin can’t see how flustered you are right now. You’re certain his presence would have made it worse.

There’s a brief silence, too long for your liking, before Seokjin finally speaks up.

“You said you wanted to play a game with me?”

“Yes.” Your throat feels dry. Although you suspect he already knows, you do your best not to gulp too loudly, unwilling to make your nervousness apparent.

Not even a week ago, you’d been just another girl he knew who admired him from afar. Too shy to strike up an actual conversation with him, you’d been content with attending the same class together. Who would’ve known you’d be here on the phone with him now? The idea is so surreal that you’re tempted to pinch yourself awake.

“Good. Why don’t you go ahead and tell me why you’ve been a bad girl?”

Coming from anyone else, the words would have made you cringe. You suppose that’s the main difference between you and him - he actually has the suaveness to pull such acts off.

“Well—” You can do this. You wet your bottom lip, aware of how chapped your lips are - nothing like Seokjin’s plump mouth, pink and lush. “I’ve been - I’ve thought about you a lot.”

“I’m flattered.” He sounds smug and not all that surprised. “What were you thinking of?”

“I -” A shiver runs down your back. “Just. You know.”

“If you want to play, you have to follow my rules,” he says gravely. “Tell me what you were thinking of unless you want to see how I deal with bad girls.”

Your eyes widen. Secretly, the promise of punishment excites you terribly.  

Seokjin catches on and laughs, short and airy. “You that interested in finding out?”

“I’m - no.”

He hums in reply. “Tell you what - if you really want to find out, I can show you. But I think you’ll find that the rewards I give are much sweeter than my punishments.”

You stretch your toes, silently weighing the pro and the cons. A selfish part of you wants it all - the rewards, the praise, the punishment, everything. You’d take whatever he’s willing to give, like a glutton with no notion of moderation.

“I thought of your fingers. And, um, I thought of them touching me. Under my skirt. Like last time, b-but —” Your fingers played with the wrinkles of your loose shorts. “Higher.”

Seokjin makes a pleased noise that vibrates low in his throat. “Good girl. Tell me more. Did you think of me touching your pussy in class, hm? Is the thought of me playing with your pussy in front of all our classmates what gets you wet?”

You moan, the sound surprising yourself. In the privacy of your shared bedroom, you close your eyes and let his crude words wash over you. Your underwear feels sticky already, and you rub your thighs together, hoping that it’ll somewhat alleviate the throbbing ache between your legs.

“That’s it, isn’t it?” Seokjin groans, and with the phone pressed up against your ear, it feels like he’s right next to you.

“Yes.” Arousal clouds your mind and makes confessing easier. “I’d let you play with my pussy all you want.”

“Is that so? You’d let me use you? Be my good toy?”

“Yes!” You agree greedily. “Please?”

“Are your nipples hard? Can you see them through your shirt?”

You glance down, and, sure enough, your nipples are visible through the thin tank top. You tell him so, happy to listen to him groan in approval.

“When we end this call, be my good girl and send me a picture. I want to see you with your shirt still on, all horny from the thought of me playing with your pussy in public. God, that’s hot.”

“Sunbae.” One of your hands tentatively reach for the waistband of your shorts. “Can I - can you give me permission to touch myself?”

“Lose the shorts,” he agrees.

You hurriedly comply, wondering if he’s also going to touch himself. Or maybe he’s already getting himself off? The thought makes your cunt clench.

“Bend your legs and spread them wide for me.” He waits until you’ve assured him you’re in the position he wants. “Good kitten. Is your pussy wet? You can touch yourself but only over your panties.”

“Ugh, fuck.” Your legs twitch as you slide your fingers along your clothed slit. “There’s a wet patch. Ah!”

You’d always been sensitive, but never to this degree. You feel like you could cum from the slightest touch to your clit.

“You sound like you’re close. You must really love the idea of my fingers fucking your wet, little pussy. What would your classmates say if they found out such a sweet, shy little kitten was playing slut in the back of the classroom? Hm? They’d turn around and see you spreading your legs wide for me, riding my fingers desperately while wishing it was my cock instead.”

He paints the picture with such ease that you can’t help but wonder if he’s thought about it before - secluded in the back of the classroom, his fingers stuffed deep in your pussy as you struggle to muffle your sounds of pleasure.

“Oh, oh, I—” Your fingers dug into your sodden underwear as you imagined yourself in that scenario. Shit. Your fantasies seem tame in comparison to the filth coming out of his mouth.

“Gonna cum hard for me, kitten?” He asks. “What is it that’s pushed you over the edge? The thought of me using your pussy? The promise of my cock filling you up afterwards? Or is it the idea of everyone finding out that you’re not a good girl, but a desperate little slut who likes to be fucked in public?”

Maybe - maybe it’s all three. You don’t have time to analyze what the answer is. Seokjin barely finishes his sentence before your body seizes up in a long, hard orgasm that leaves the ends of your toes tingling. Your back arches off the bed, your hard nipples straining against the cotton material of your top. Through it all, you think you might’ve heard Seokjin reach completion, but you’re so wracked with pleasure you can’t be sure.

The haze doesn’t lift right away. You hear Seokjin’s heavy breathing in your ear and with your eyes closed it almost feels like he’s laying right here with you. Honestly, you don’t know what tomorrow will bring - if this game can continue or not. If he’d been serious about a next time. You know, however, that for you nothing will be the same as before. You can never go back to silently pinning after the popular upperclassman. Now that you’ve had a taste of him, you fear you’ve become addicted.  

[alfyrion]

The Birdman of Katolis

So, every other post I see is about whether or not Harrow is dead. I’m really hoping that this one lays all those posts to rest since it is canon that he’s alive. Below, I’m going to tell you, in detail so we can end this, why he’s the bird. (Be warned, this is a little long.)

First off, just going to point this out since this is the biggest sign that it’s actually canon. Viren openly mocks the bird. It’s a bird. No matter what attachment Harrow had to it, there’s no reason for Viren to stop what he’s doing, delay his coronation to mock a bird unless it housed the soul of the king. If he hadn’t stopped to mock this bird, Amaya wouldn’t have stopped him in time, and he would be king right now.

We know that he likes to mock his prisoners because he did it with Gren.

And like he did with Runaan because he’s just a nice guy like that.

And weirdly enough, the bird emotes more. The bird looks honestly hurt and betrayed by Viren’s words. It also feels the need to maintain eye contact with Viren through the entire conversation.

Then after Viren’s remark, it turns its head to the side, more as if it’s responding haughtily to Viren, which is backed up by Viren’s sneer that it was the action.

Before this moment, it would turn its head more randomly, not maintain eye contact for long periods of time, and didn’t seem to understand conversations as it stared off blankly into space. It’s not acting the same way anymore.

Next, there’s the rule of Chekhov’s Gun:  "If you say in the first chapter that there is a rifle hanging on the wall, in the second or third chapter it absolutely must go off. If it's not going to be fired, it shouldn't be hanging there." Which we have in the form of the snake.

We first see it when Viren comes in to tell Harrow that he found a way to save Harrow’s life and is utterly convinced that this will work to fool the bands. He’s not fifty percent sure or ninety. He KNOWS this will save his life.

Then we get to the night and Viren makes his way to the king’s chambers with the basket in tow. In his talk with Soren before he enters, he makes it clear that he’s going to give his life to save Harrow since he makes it clear that it’s something that might upset Soren in the end.

Finally, we get to THE scene. The one where Harrow and Viren talk for the last time. Viren walks in with the snake basket then tries again. It’s not going well with Harrow angrily rebuffing him, but then the bird lands on Harrow’s shoulder. It hits him that he doesn’t need to sacrifice himself since the bird is there.

Also, Viren has clearly snapped at this point. You see on his face that he’s come to a decision. That isn’t the face of a man who is just going to walk away.

Then he comes out without the basket. There’s no way Harrow would just let him keep it in there. Also, we’re never shown Harrow or his reaction to the fight, probably because he’s trapped as a bird right now.

After that, Callum starts laying down the harsh truths when Viren decides to steal his voice. Yeah, the creators said stealing Callum’s voice was always a part of the plan, but he didn’t know Callum would be there since it was assumed he’d be heading to the winter lodge. He was planning on doing that later. Yet, he just so happens to have some voice stealing ingredients on him.

Then remember what he said to the bird? He asks it mockingly why it doesn’t sing for him. That’s because it can’t since it doesn’t have a voice.

So now we get to the scene where the moonshadow elves rush in and fight all the guards to try to get to the king. All four of them rush in, including Runaan and pretty much take the guards by storm.

Skip a couple of scene to Runaan killing “Harrow”. There are a couple things extremely wrong with this scene. Such as the other three assassins are missing. We can see the leg of one elf in the background while Runaan is limping out to the balcony, but the rest aren’t here. You would think the others would be there with Runaan if they were okay, and we know they didn’t go after Ezran since we never see them again.

Most likely, they were turned into coins since we have three missing elves and three coins that are underneath Runaan, but it’s still odd that they were captured, if they were, since they were overpowering the guards.

On top of that is the fact that Runaan isn’t in his illusionary form and is gravely injured. When we last left them, there were five elves who had the upper hand since no one could see them in the darkness, except three are missing/captured, one is presumably dead, and the other is extremely wounded. He shouldn’t have a single injury, except he does.

Of course, it’s not all that strange when you realize that the guards who are on Viren’s side can see them perfectly. You can tell because this guard ducks and easily dodges a blade strike from Runaan.

And if you watch Soren, you can see through the entire fight that he’s not swinging blindly and is making direct eye contact with the elven fighters.

It becomes especially obvious here when they’re cornered and the other elf comes to attack. Soren watches them approach then catches the blade with one hand while keeping Runaan at bay with the other.

Then there’s something else that’s strange. We see them try to get through the door, only problem is that it’s locked, though that doesn’t stop them from continuing to attempt to fight their way through.

We are shown that they eventually get into the room, but that means for some reason, they’d have had to abandon their fight with the guards, jump out a window, and then scale to the balcony where a dozen archers were waiting. Except, if you notice, the door hasn’t been forced open and there’s a guard slumped against it, meaning that they had to do the balcony move. 

Only there’s no forced entry on the balcony doors either. Also, the guards are slumped oddly. The one on the balcony slumped against would’ve died closer to the edge as they would be fighting forward. Then the second one fell with his head against the balcony. If they came over the sides to attack, he’d be facing the other way.

Also, the room behind Runaan is spotless despite all the dead guards. Nothing is broken or out of place. It’s exactly as we saw it previous scenes. If there was a serious struggle, the room would be in pieces.

So, why wouldn’t Harrow defend himself against severely injured elves? Why wouldn’t the guards fight to their fullest capacity? Because almost everyone was already dead when they got there.

How were they already dead and what does this have to do with the bird? Glad you asked. I’d like to start with shifty Viren and the way he just squeezed out of the door, not letting anyone see what’s behind him as he left. Yes, that’s right. Viren killed almost everyone and staged the scene.

Let’s start with the guards. If they saw what Viren did to the king, they’d try to stop him or arrest him. And I’m sure they did, which is why they were dead and arranged by the time Runaan got there. Look, you can see them all here, and they all are taller than the balcony.

Except then night falls after Viren’s visit and we’re greeted to this scene. There’s no one there even though we can clearly see guards on the other towers. This is because they’re already dead and arranged so he can pin his crime on the elven assassins.

But what did Viren do with the bird and Harrow? He didn’t walk out with either one of them. That’s because he didn’t have to. Since he stole Harrow’s voice, he didn’t have to worry about him warning anyone. Notice Pip’s stand in the center of all the guards?

Well, after Viren’s visit, it’s gone. All Viren would have to do is chain Harrow to the stand and the bird could remain in the room, out of harm’s way with no way to alert anyone that something was wrong. It’s also a bit morbid, because that means Harrow watched his own murder.

All that leaves is Pip. How do you get Pip to act like a human? You don’t. You turn off the lights and shut the door, hoping that he goes to sleep. As you can see when Runaan looks at it, the lights are off while the door is closed, even though previously it was open so Pip could fly in and out.

If you remember, Pip sleeps like a log. He doesn’t wake up until Viren throws open the curtains to wake up Harrow in the beginning. So, Viren would know if Runaan was stealthy enough, he’d kill the bird in its sleep without ever waking it up.

Then there’s the fact that Viren is gone while Soren and all the other guards were late to the party despite the fight going on right outside of the door and the complete quiet as Runaan makes his way towards the edge of the balcony. That makes everything seem planned.

Also, before I move onto my next point. Out of ALL the birds they could’ve used to be the shadow that delivered the message, the animators decided to use one that looked exactly like Pip.

So, I know now someone is going to go “But the band! It only falls off if HARROW is dead!” Nope, sorry. Wrong. That’s a moonshadow band. It’s base magic is illusion. The definition of illusion: “perception of something objectively existing in such a way as to cause misinterpretation of its actual nature”. That means that moonshadow magic is about perception, not facts.

What does this mean though and how does it apply here? The bands work because the user perceives the intended target without a shadow of a doubt as dead. It’s why they have to go do the killing themselves. One of them has to witness the death so that their perception will change and the magic woven into the band changes.

We see the first use of illusion magic after they discover that the human guards are coming and Runaan breaks his necklace.

The elves’ camp never actually goes anywhere. Instead, it makes them all look like trees, because that’s literally what he said when he invoked the illusion.

It just changes the guards’ perspectives to not see them, and when they look in, they only see a forest as that’s what the illusion told them they’d find.

Then, as soon as the last guard leaves, the illusion wears off since there is no one’s perception that they need to alter any longer.

The moonshadow “invisibility” is also an illusion. It only makes people think that they don’t see them rather than having them disappear, which is why they have a slight physical form. The full moon helps strengthen their magic, so it’s easier to manipulate someone without the use of the pendant that they can’t see them.

This is further backed up as we learn more about illusion magic on the mountain. Like Rayla feels the leeches rushing over her, even though they’re not real. It’s because her mind is telling her that it’s real.

We also see them having trouble with the spider webs that aren’t actually there and Rayla cuts through the wrappings of the mummy, feeling her knife slice through as she cuts.

And there’s Ava, who looks like she has four legs, appears to run as if she has four legs, and everyone can feel a paw that isn’t actually there.

That brings us to the band and Rayla’s band. As you can see, all the bands were originally one string. That’s why there can be six of them instead of one of them. Just one has to succeed and kill their target. It wouldn’t make sense for all of them to see the body. Also, you can see that’s not a flesh or blood spell, since they don’t use any material to lock onto the person, meaning it’s all mental. If Rayla had killed Callum, it might have actually worked since she believed that he was Ezran.

There’s the scene where Ezran falls through the ice. She uses her band as a reason he’s still alive. He is, but that’s not the reason is doesn’t fall off. 

Rayla doesn’t see Ezran’s body, so a small part of her hopes that he’s still alive, never completing the requirements for the band to turn red. And if she honestly believed he was dead then she wouldn’t have stopped to look for a reason that Ezran was alive.

You might think that her hand turning purple and hurting is proof, except it’s not. The band is telling her brain that her arm is getting weaker, so it does. It changes color because that’s how it’s supposed to look when you don’t kill the person you were hired to kill. The band never grows any tighter, just the illusion and pain increases as time goes on.

But despite growing worse by the day, there’s never a “What’s happening to your hand!?” moment, even though the bruising is clearly noticeable. But watching the scene where they’re on ice, you can see her reflection that the bruises on her hand just aren’t there. It’s a hint that it’s an illusion.

Then after Zym pulls off the wristband, her hand instantly returns to its regular color, which further confirms that this was in fact an illusion.

We do get a snide comment from Viren when he has Runaan prisoner, but he has to take in the arm twice and then squint before he realizes that there’s something up with it. Also, if you’re this far, you already know that Viren has spells that can see illusions from my previous points, so it isn’t a surprise that he takes the time to comment on it.

And if you’re wondering about Runaan and the mirror, we, the audience, never see his reflection ourselves. All times we look in, we’re looking in as or with Runaan, so it’s always through his perspective, which is why we can’t see through the illusion.

Finally, the reason why Zym can pull the band off and she can’t even cut it? Because the illusion never told him that he couldn’t. So it comes off fairly easily when he decides to tug on it. In fact, Zym is the only one we see other than Rayla attempt to remove it since Callum and Ezran trust Rayla at her word that it can’t be cut by regular means.

So, in conclusion, Harrow isn’t dead and I really hope that was able to prove it. Also, thanks to @cheritsundere again for the hq pics. And if you liked this meta, please check out my other metas!

[simon-newman]

Newman's List of Anime 2015 - Part 20: Overlord.

First thing first: I am sorry this took SO FUCKING LONG to write.

The point is - I am more fluent in writing about bad movies or bad shows. When I get to write about good ones I rewrite the stuff for eternity trying to get it just right...

And I am still not satisfied with the result - dammit!

Without further delay...

Another cliche setting lately...

A character travels to a different world.

Or more specifically - a world where rules of the game he's been playing apply (if not straight game-world that is).

Ever since SAO showed up it's ugly head the anime industry exploded with such stories...

Sad as it is most of them were just as bad or even worse than fucking SAO.

And yes - SAO is a piece of shit.

So now. Lets look into one good example of such story I've found...

Overlord

TBH this is another title I didn't even plan on watching at first.

The moment I read the premise I was like "Yeah. NOPE" and went on to watch something else.

How wrong I was?

Verily.

The thing about Overlord is that it doesn't fuck around.

There's no EMO kid for a protagonist who claims only a cheater could outplay him.

No target for this tiresome romantic bullshit who at some point will have to be saved by our Uber player.

No.

Overlord knows what it wants to be and does it.

And it wants to be an anime about a guy who gets stuck in a body of nigh invincible Elder Lich with an army of followers who consider him to be a Supreme Being - and Evil Overlord.

*ba dum tss*

I mean... He has the looks down perfectly.

  I really liked the feel of power the show gives to people watching it. But lets begin with the actual premise:

It is early established that our Protagonist - Momonga - has maxed out his game level.

He and other players of his guild Ainz Ooal Gown - all playing monster characters - banded together to defend themselves from other players who hunted them for their choice of character race.

Together they created a massive dungeon infamous for being impossible to clear - the Great Tomb of Nazarick.

And since they're playing monsters anyway they decided to play the part and customized everything to fit the theme of Evil Fortress of Doom.

At the end - after 12 years of playing - Momonga was the last player of the guild to play regularly.

With the servers closing he decided to stay online till the very end - to properly part with the game he's invested so much time in.

He gives his last orders to the NPCs created by his friends and includes one little change in the description of tomb's Overseer NPC. Then the end comes...

And he's not forcibly logged out.

Momonga finds himself trapped - his console doesn't open and he can't contact the GMs. What's more - the NPCs surrounding him start to show concern over his visibly agitated state.

They change from programmed game constructs into true, living creatures.

Everything within Nazarick becomes reality - the Tomb itself, it's inhabitants and Momonga's skeletal body.

A body of an Eclipse - a powerful, undead magician.

It doesn't take long for Momonga to figure out the basics of how his skills work now.

The real problem he's facing is how the NPCs see him.

 The head of all the supreme beings and a merciful leader who stayed behind with us until the end.

  For the Guardians of Nazarick - a group of Boss NPCs created by the guild - Momonga is the Supreme One: the one and only true ruler of Nazarick, an evil overlord who guides them, an ascended being of unlimited power and even greater wisdom, infallible and inerrant - a being equal or superior to gods.

With this in mind all the Guardians swear their eternal loyalty to Momonga - pretty much forcing him to play the part as they explore the world they were transported to.

But enough with me describing the plot or this entire review will last for a few dozen pages.

What's important is that Momonga decides to secretly search for other players and takes on the name of Ainz Ooal Gown.

His pan is to spread the name of his guild so that other players can hear of it - a goal his Guardians accidentally misinterpret as a plan to take over the world they arrived in.

For the world they ended up in is not same as the game world of YGGDRASIL.

It's a different place altogether.

True - it has the magic from the game which surprises Ainz at first and indicates that someone from the game appeared in this world much earlier in time.

Ainz begins his quest to explore the world and quickly establishes that being a lvl 100 character here is pretty much breaking the system.

High level angel? More like a minor nuisance.

  Remember the feel of power thing I mentioned above?

This is what all this exposition above was getting to.

Nothing in the new world can even compare to Ainz. He's just THAT powerful here.

With this the anime focuses on the story and characters foremost. And I'll be honest - the anime does a great job in that regard.

We don't get to see much of ALL the guardians or other NPCs - the anime doesn't last this long.

What we get to see is that they're all individuals with distinct personalities like the people who created them - something Ainz will never fail to recognize.

The guardians are like children of the people who were his only friends and he'll go to great lengths to protect them while they in turn are ready to die for him.

The battles are still there - don't get me wrong. The battles are awesome and work greatly.

The point is - they're always a part of something bigger. The fight itself poses no challenge to our Protagonist AT ALL.

It's the same as with One Punch Man - the fight is won the moment Ainz or any of the Guardians decides to get serious.

Shit. They don't need to cast a spell or throw a punch.

All they need to do is to... Hug an opponent. Yes - really.

Well... Death by sword. Death by broken bones. Death by crushing. There’s not much difference, right? You die at the end.

In the end - baring the last fight in the anime - Overlord focuses on Ainz learning stuff about his New World and being awesome while doing it.

And by awesome I mean dark as fu*k.

He slowly grows into the Overlord the Guardians see him to be.

Partially because of his actions and partially due to his Lich body suppressing his human emotions.

Now - a warning word for those who might want to watch this show.

It's brutal and bloody.

People are going to fucking die and die brutally, painfully and amusingly. The Guardians are EVIL and shit is getting DARK frequently.

And yet it's still fun to watch and it gets a bunch of funny scenes as well.

What's more - it's a damn good story.

Not to spoil much of what's going to happen in the later episodes I'll tell you only this.

Remember the thing I mentioned about Overseer NPC?

It's a beautiful succubus whose description included a bit about her being a slut.

On a whim Momonga changed that part so that Albedo would be in love with him.

Their interactions are mostly funny from there on partially thanks to Momonga being... Well... A walking skeleton...

There's this little bit however when Ainz is going to seriously risk his life and it seems to Albedo like he is saying his farewells.

The ensuing scene is a really touching exchange between them.

Yes - a truly well done romantic scene between a succubus and a Lich.

Better love story than Twilight... Well... Actually... Better love story than most of the shit we see nowadays.

  Now.

The animation is done by Madhouse and looks absolutely beautiful.

Just like with OPM the studio doesn't disappoint and delivers a truly breathtaking spectacle which only pales in comparison to... To the source material - the illustrations of which look like Death Metal album covers.

Yes - the show is lightened in animation and (as I've heard on the web) the story is actually softened as well to better fit the anime format.

IMO this worked greatly as making the story even darker might have ended with something repulsive for most of the audiences.

And with the story and characters of Overlord being the strongest points this would have potentially killed the show.

In the end I also wanted to mention the music.

You probably know by now that I don't pay much attention to it.

Yes - I listen to it while watching but I barely recall anything after I'm done.

Music in Overlord... Well... I remember it clearly.

It. Is. Awesome.

A truly great finishing touch for a really good show - silver medalist of 2015 anime I’ve watched.

With this in mind...

  Final Score: 8/10  +Newman's Mark of Quality Status: Completed Sentence: Stuck in a skeletal body in the company of a horny succubus (I mean... It’s great but... There’s something missing...)

  Previously reviewed title: One Punch Man.

Next reviewed title: Yamada-kun to Nana-jin no Majo.

[vulva-o-queef]

@hestiaq​ (making a new post because I don’t want to keep reblogging a long threat)

I’m really sorry for what you were put through. I sincerely hope you’re in a better situation now and doing okay. That’s horrific.

I remember the Ted Bundy bit you’re talking about- and she’s…. honestly quite right? If enough men have NPD/ASPD a few of them are going to seem intelligible, I think. I don’t really understand what you’re saying about Ted Bundy- if it’s tongue in cheek or not.

Okay, like I said, I haven’t seen this post she made. necromancerdoll just said that larps said sociopaths/psychopaths “can’t perform well in society/function with others.” I know aspd and being a sociopath are often considered the same thing, and I know a lot of them are pretty transparent assholes. Psychopathy isn’t a formal diagnosis at all, but criminal psychologists do use the term, and there’s a pretty solid consensus on what it means. Some people say psychopaths are a subset of sociopaths, and other people say it’s a similar but distinct thing, but in either case, one of the main characteristics of a psychopath (which a sociopath doesn’t, or doesn’t always have) is that they’re smooth and charming, and they use those traits to manipulate others.

My comment about Ted Bundy was sarcastic (and probably not in very good faith, but also wasn’t really related to the main point of all this), because saying psychopaths “can’t perform well in society/function with others” is the opposite of the truth. Ted Bundy was charming, socially adept, approachable, and likable, which was exactly how he managed to lure in many of his victims. He would put on a fake cast and ask women to help him get things into his car, which is what that scene from silence of the lambs is based on. Larps might be totally aware of all that and just phrased something too broadly. The only way it would be relevant to the rest of what I’m saying is, if she really meant to say that psychopaths are socially inept, it would be another example of how she tries to speak as an authority on mental disorders she doesn’t understand. Mostly I was just poking fun.

Women are over-diagnosed. But I don’t understand how Larps pointing out shitty behavior is the same as “diagnosing everyone”. Also, she’s talked about how borderline personality is over-diagnosed and often ascribed to women who are dealing with trauma. She’s also not talking about it from a “I don’t personally like them” only- “these people” are people who are cruel and vicious and play victim when called out on their cruel vicious behavior.

Clearly, you and I interpret the things she says about bpd and ‘cluster b’ in general very differently. For one, diagnosing anyone over the internet is absurd. In my first response to her, I did agree that she has made some good points, mostly about the link between autogynephilia and narcissism. But that’s about noticing an overarching theme within a specific population, and there’s already a decent amount of academic writing about that link. Case studies done by real psychologists. Actual studies done with controls and statistics and so on. And even with stuff like fucking “trans lesbian” dating profiles that larps points out herself, there is some solid evidence there due to the sheer repetition of entitled attitudes, fetishism, etc, the list goes on. My issue is with the way she thinks she understands BPD when she clearly doesn’t, how she applies “cluster b” or bpd to an awful lot of people, largely young ‘transmen’ or radfems she doesn’t like, and how whenever anyone she’s put down for having BPD tells her to cut it out, or tells her that she’s wrong about them, she dismisses anything they have to say by citing “people with bpd are insane,” or telling them they’re being irrational due to their disorder. Basically she’s using it as a shield to avoid being held accountable for the things she says. “Anyone who’s telling me borderline people aren’t irrational is only saying that because they’re borderline, and therefore they’re irrational!” I’m not saying she’s diagnosing “everyone.” And regarding transmen specifically, there are a lot of psychological factors involved in that situation, and for someone who’s so vocal about the cultlike, exploitative, backwards nature of the trans movement, you’d think she would understand how absurd and frankly just plain egotistical it is to think she can simplify all of those psychological factors and dynamics down to “cluster b.” Again - remember that she’s talking about people she’s never met in her life, usually judging from one blog description, a handful of posts, or sometimes nothing more than a fucking selfie.

Even as a younger girl with supposed “BPD” (who even identified with the label)- I wouldn’t have found this stuff offensive, and if it did (which I might have, and sometimes still do)- it’s really that easy to log off or go outside.

That’s good for you, and I respect your perspective. And you’re right, I could just log off and ignore what larps is saying. You can say that about anything anyone says on the internet, and technically it’s true. But I didn’t. The things she’s saying are ignorant, I find them personally hurtful, and I think she’s spreading misinformation, harmful stereotypes, and regressive thinking. I see that she’s saying dehumanizing and belittling things to women on this site who deserve respect, and probably worst of all, I see that there are a lot of people who look up to her, ask her for advice, sometimes idolize her a bit, and many of them will believe pretty much anything she says. She’s feeding them bullshit and some really vile ideas about mental health stigma, and how people with certain disorders (mainly BPD) deserve to be treated. I don’t think she’s the devil incarnate, and I don’t think she’s out here ruining lives and destroying families. I think she’s an asshole with an inflated sense of her own insight and knowledge, and I decided to say something. I could have logged off, but in this case, I didn’t. That’s all.

...I don’t understand how Larps memeing on a Tumblr blog and often posting insightful ideas about personality disorders is “insulting, ignorant, and dehumanizing”.

Yeah I don’t know what you consider “insightful,” but posting the definition of “insane” and copy-pasting a list of bpd symptoms and saying “see? these people are insane,” and tagging her response to my post with #have u ever noticed how all of these people have personality disorders (callback to “anyone who’s telling me borderline people aren’t irrational is only saying that because they’re borderline, and therefore they’re irrational!”) ...doesn’t quite cut it in my book.

She doesn’t bring up cluster b whenever she “feels” someone is acting unreasonable and dramatic- they… are unreasonable and dramatic- at least in whatever context, and people don’t have to dig deep to see who someone really is to be able to just say “no that’s insane, bye”.

Mmmm... I realize you see the situation differently from me, but am I acting insane? I mean, at worst, I’m making the undeniably blunt way she talks to people into something bigger than it needs to be. And yeah, I know... classic cluster b, amiright? But even if that’s the case, even if I’m misinterpreting her views, surely you can see where I’m coming from. And there are quite a few people who have the same objections that I do (mostly radfems, radfem adjacent women, terves, etc.). When she wrote that tag #have u ever noticed how all of these people have personality disorders, isn’t it clear that she was referring to me, as well as the rest of the radfemmish women who have been speaking against this behavior from her lately? Isn’t she making an assumption that I have a personality disorder (which I do not)? 

Do you really think my objection to the way larps talks about bpd is an indication that I have a personality disorder, and that I’m insane? Unreasonable at worst. But yes, she is absolutely using the excuse that those who object to her saying borderline people are irrational are saying so because they’re borderline/irrational. And like I said, I’m hardly the only example of her saying things like this. Someone just reblogged the original post of all of this and said #I just blocked larps bcuz shes been reblogging random old posts from me calling me a cluster b as bait #as far as I know I’m the only quote on quote crazy bihet that doesn’t have a pd? Someone else wrote #I really looked up to larps hence I’m so torn about this #if I didn’t believe she was a smart and decent well meaning person I wouldn’t care. That’s just on that particular post, within the last few hours.

People with personality disorders are diagnosed because they’re anti social and cause harm to those they “love”/interact with and the cluster b community (that I hung around) spend most of their time groveling in misery- despite often constructing their own fantastical narrative of people horrifically abusing them and demanding to be coddled for every emotion.

Some of them, yeah. Not all of them, and not enough to justify making assumptions about people you’ve never met.

What I mean is- the pain that they’re feeling is an offense to ego a LOT of the time. And other’s shouldn’t have to walk around eggshells to make sure that they don’t injure others egos.

Agreed.

Like it’s not real, rudfems don’t enable or contribute to violence against women. None of these women, no matter how mean they are, contributed to the pain I experienced in childhood for being called BPD- actually it was always men and handmaidens.

I didn’t accuse larps, or any other ‘rudefem’ of contributing to violence against women. I know that men were the reason ‘hysteria’ could be diagnosed in the past, and I know that men are the reason bpd is being overdiagnosed in women today. And I’m honestly not even trying to say larps is being misogynistic to the women she says this stuff to (though re-reading, I realize it could easily sound that way). Misogyny or not, dismissing someone’s perfectly measured, reasonable objection as irrational just because they have a bpd diagnosis - which in several cases, dr. larps diagnosed all by herself - is unacceptable, is the same pattern and circular justification used on ‘hysterical’ women in the past, and is particularly bad because, as we agree, bpd is too often being diagnosed as the new version of hysteria. She’s re-enforcing age-old stereotypes about mental illness, and she’s buying into it so completely that she really believes that borderline people are so unreliable that she knows what’s going on in their heads better than they do. Hence saying that borderline people objecting to her backwards stereotyping are doing so out of a kneejerk reaction to a damaged ego, rather than because they know what she’s saying is false.

Also - she isn’t talking about everyone with “diagnosed” BPD.

If that’s what she means, then she’s the one who needs to say it, not you. Again, I respect that you have a different view of this, and I understand your perspective, I can’t believe what others say about her intentions and supposed read-between-the-lines distinctions, when she doesn’t say it herself, and the things she says and the way she acts do not communicate what you’re saying about her.

Meaning, there’s a distinction between people who have been diagnosed and are suffering, and people who have been diagnosed (or not) and are cruel and have a total lack of insight and disregard for other people.

Mental health is complicated. You can’t divide people with bpd into two clean categories like that. That’s not how it works. And you CERTAINLY can’t lump people into the “bad” category simply because they don’t like how you talk about their disorder. You can’t see someone objecting to what you’re saying and assume that YOU know that they’re coming from a “total lack of insight.” People are not psychic. Larps is using the fact that some people with pds have a lack of self-awareness to dodge accountability when it’s convenient for her. It’s complete circular logic - something you would think she would be above, no? “they’re irrational, and when they complain about me calling them irrational, I can shut them down by saying that any complaint they make is irrational.” I know I keep saying this, but it’s true. In my first comment, I pointed out that this is her pattern, and what was her response? hashtag have u ever noticed how all these people have personality disorders. fucking exactly what I said her response would be, because that’s the only excuse she has. 

And yes, insight is a qualifying factor that “””exonerates”””” (quite a loaded word in this context????) someone from being “really” BPD. The thing about BPD is that they will not (or cannot) change- like it’s not a fixed part of your personality, and if it is- you deserve to be called out, and if it isn’t and you still behave like that… you deserve to be called out, still.

Again, no. If this is the case, then we need to make a second definition to separate “REALLY bpd” from “sorta bpd,” since currently they both meet the same diagnostic criteria. It’s not up to you, or larps, to create definitive new categories of mental illness.

I went from being told I had “borderline tendencies” to being diagnosed with full BPD, to basically nothing at all, because I became aware of those patterns, learned how to be objective about my thoughts and emotions, and practiced resisting them to the point where they only show up if I’m already in a really bad state. I don’t consider myself to have - or to have had - a personality disorder, because I’ve almost completely gotten rid of those mental reactions. But I know people who do have BPD, who are self aware, who are trying the same things I did, but the difference is that even though they now have the tools to keep them in check, those mental and emotional reactions are still present for them, and likely always will be. To say they don’t REALLY have bpd because they’re able to control it is frankly insulting. “If you’ve been able to improve it through treatment, you never really had it in the first place.” I know that’s not how you meant it, but that’s what it boils down to.

BPD is not defined by a lack of self-awareness. It’s a pattern of ingrained emotional and mental reactions (and, subsequently, behaviors). These often develop as a method of self defense against external abuse. Or sometimes there’s no abuse and it’s there anyways. The cause isn’t always clear. But the criteria calling these symptoms “pervasive” doesn’t mean the individual is unaware of them. People who know they have bpd, and who are working on treating their bpd still have bpd.

“...deserve to be called out”... it’s not larps’ business to “call someone out” for having bpd. She can call someone out for acting like a shithead, but simply having bpd is not a flaw that needs to be criticized. Your phrasing makes it seem like that’s what you’re saying, and although I’m pretty sure that’s not what you meant, that’s what larps seems to think.

Not only are neither you nor larps qualified to determine the “category” of bpd that people on the internet who you’ve never met fall into, but even IF that’s how she sees it, then, again, she needs to say that herself, and she needs to reflect that view in the way she treats people.

But to conclude, she really does make that explicitly clear that she doesn’t think everyone with BPD is a “screeching, manipulative, hysteric”.

Where

You made a bunch of excuses for her and I still have no reason to believe any of it is true

However, I’m mostly speaking for myself here because I’ve been hanging around tungle for too long and I mostly want to say that this all doesn’t really matter. Like, so many feminists on here ramble on about “but what about bpd women who get misdiagnosed?” yeah I didn’t face brutality at the hands of snarky women on the internet. These are not the people that even enabled the violence that me or many other women with trauma face.

Again, I didn’t say that. I don’t think she’s destroying lives either, I was just frustrated, saw that many other women are frustrated about her too, and I felt like saying something, so I did. That is the extent of my motivations here. I do think that she is spreading harmful stereotypes and misinformation, but I’m under no delusion that she is causing damage on a massive scale. She is, however, just one more raindrop in the proverbial ocean of mental health stigma. Insignificant as a single drop may be, surely it’s no less significant than any of those people with bpd whose bad behavior you say should be called out. If it’s larps’ business to call them out, then it’s just as much my business to call her out.

It’s not up to her and other women like her to clarify every single thing they say- people DO generalize and we should be able to communicate without having to specify for everyone.

I’m not asking her to clarify “every single thing” she says, I’m asking her to stop acting like a shithead, labeling people she’s never met, acting like she’s an authority on personality disorders, and using her actually wildly skewed perception of these disorders which is steeped in regressive, harmful, and demeaning stigma and stereotypes about mental illness in order to manipulate her way out of being held accountable for any of it. I’m not telling her to stop generalizing for the purpose of communication, I’m asking her to stop making inaccurate generalizations based on stereotypes, and to stop using “cluster b” as a catch-all for bad behavior. Just because someone is a shithead, or unreasonable, or overdramatic, doesn’t make them borderline, and it’s insulting to the people with bpd who are truly good people, who also have to deal with their disorder being an internet trend for self-dx’ers to milk sympathy and excuse their abusive behavior (sounds just like what larps would diagnose as cluster b, I know, but it turns out that many people who don’t have bpd exhibit these traits as well), deal with shitty treatment from healthcare providers who read the diagnosis and think they know everything about you before you even walk in the door (back when I had the ‘full bpd’ diagnosis, a therapist said to my face that people with bpd were considered ‘used goods,’ and my current psychiatrist treats me with an absurd and totally unjustified level of suspicion), deal with the massively pervasive stereotypes everyone else holds about bpd (ranging from ‘serial killer’ to ‘used goods’ to ‘fake trend on the internet to get attention’), as well as dealing with - oh yeah - the actual fucking disorder, as well as often comorbid cases of PTSD, depression, anxiety, bipolar, etc.

I’m just saying, it would be a lot more effective and hurt a lot less people you supposedly didn’t mean to target if you just called out the actual behavior instead of “calling out” a disorder. Additionally, I’m pretty sure that people with bpd who do lack self awareness are far more likely to respond to direct criticisms of their behavioral patterns than they are to respond to the label of bpd being “called out.” They’d just see the latter as more fuel for self-pity. It’s a little harder to justify being the victim of someone saying “hey stop being abusive.”

And if that’s not enough reasons for you, consider: people who have shitty behaviors who don’t have a cluster b disorder (yes, larps, they exist) are just gonna hear criticisms of a disorder they don’t have and brush it right off. Call out the actual behavior, and there’s a chance they might recognize it in themselves. It’s like a quadruple win.

A hallmark of bpd/npd/aspd/hpd is having no insight into that, that people say shit, and you take what you can and leave it-her, or me, or anyone else mincing that up….. doesn’t help bpd women live in a world where nobody is going to mince anything up ever. It did not help me when people coddled me, and I intuitively knew that and was deeply frustrated with it.

You’re right that it doesn’t help to have people make excuses for you or ‘coddle’ you. But not being unfair and pushing harmful stigma is not the same thing as “coddling.” Nor is “not mincing” words the same thing as saying things that are untrue, unfair, dismissive, and insulting. Much like Trump saying blatantly racist things is NOT “just telling it like it is.” (and no I’m not comparing you or larps to trump or calling anyone racist. except trump)

Many of the women who have ‘spoken up’ about larps on tungle, I’ve seen on other mediums (fb, wordpress) and they’re often just blatantly manipulative

Really? Am I being blatantly manipulative? Or insane? And, to reiterate, is what I’ve said on her post enough for her to assume that I - and anyone else raising these issues with her - ALL have personality disorders? Is it justification for her to say that I’m “glorifying” ASPD/BPD?

and will never have any insight to the fact that all of this is really a non-issue

I gave you several examples above, and here's your treasure trove:

https://larpsandtherealgirl.tumblr.com/search/cluster%20b

Notice how she loves agreeing with everyone saying they’ve been abused by someone with a cluster b disorder, or otherwise says something negative about a person/people with a cluster b disorder, makes sweeping generalizations and basically uses “cluster b” with the same tone that you would call someone an asshole - that is to say, using the same logical standards of “you said some shit I thought was rude, so I think you’re an asshole & I’m going to call you one” when talking about psychological medical diagnoses?

Yeah, occasionally she claims she’s only talking about The Bad Ones, but that’s a pretty thin excuse when 99% of the time you make no attempt to differentiate, and post things like screenshotted symptoms (which - if the “good ones” with that disorder actually have that disorder - would apply to the “good ones” too) with captions like “these people are insane.”

Again, I realize you see the things she says very differently from me, but surely you can see where I’m coming from. And I would hope that you can see that my having this perspective does not justify saying I have a personality disorder, that I am insane, or that I am “glorifying” ASPD and NPD. I would hope that the similar shit she’s said about several other women who said things similar to what I said would also strike you as unjustified. You can make excuses that she wasn’t literally diagnosing me with a personality disorder, but you can’t make that excuse every single time she says something like this.

but instead “leave radical feminism because it’s so full of mean lesbian separatists” and make huge texts about it everywhere else and how rfeminism is a cult.

Okay... this is an entirely separate and irrelevant subject and I’m not sure why you’re bringing it up. I mean it sounds like you’re saying “people who don’t like being told they’re insane are just butthurt kek” which I really hope is not what you’re saying. I’m pretty sure there are plenty of radical women who would object to being called insane and having their opinions dismissed because of a mental health diagnosis, who would raise their objections and still believe in their politics, probably due to the fact that - in this context - those things have virtually nothing to do with one another.

My point is- she’s not just saying ppl who criticize her have bpd- they often do because people with personality disorders come out of the woodwork to be hideously angry at anyone who calls them abusive or “wrong” and “bad” (whatever that means at any given moment).

In summary: I appreciate and respect that you interpret the things larps says in a very different way, and I’m not trying to tell you that you should be hurt or anything like that. But I can’t accept what I see as excuses that you’re making for her, since she doesn’t offer any of those explanations herself, and I don’t see any evidence of the intentions you’re attributing to her, in her own words or behavior.

At the end of the day, larps is the only person who can speak for larps’ intentions (much like the people whose criticisms larps deflects by claiming they’re motivated by irrational emotion and a threatened victim complex SHOULD be the only ones who can speak for their intentions).

And at the end of the day, larps didn’t show anything but disrespect and a total unwillingness to even consider that the way she speaks to, and treats, people with bpd and people who criticize her portrayal and internet-diagnosing of bpd, might not be 100% faultless.

At the end of the day, larps read what I had to say about her dismissive attitude and manipulative, circular justification for avoiding accountability. Her response was to double down on calling people with borderline “insane,” and double down on her own belief that googling a list of symptoms makes her an expert on psychology, as well as an expert on the thoughts in other peoples’ heads. She used the exact circular, dismissive excuse I was calling out, yet again said that the people criticizing her were all doing so because of their - well “our,” I should say, since she diagnosed me - personality disorders, rather than their actual thoughts, opinions, and perfectly reasonable objections. And then she answered a bunch of messages laughing about how crazy and terrible “cluster b”s are. No, she didn’t literally say “EVERY SINGLE PERSON with bpd is like this,” but come on. She’s not the only person who can recognize patterns of behavior.