#I need to catch up on half a semesters worth of calculus tho hhhhh

[illbegottenfaith]

finished my coding exam beep beep

[chaddicus]

so I guess first day of class back to school hhhhh dump

class felt short. probably bc I’m going from a 3 credit class on two days to a five credit class on four days. just a lil bit shorter than it was. but also maybe bc it was the first day? idk

I’m not sure I ever talked abt the adviser but uh try to make a long story short when I first enrolled they only had one adviser and when I met him it was uh a Problem bc he’s really attractive but since then they’ve gotten a second adviser and I was one of the students swapped over to her and it’s kind of a massive relief bc I don’t think I could’ve talked to the guy at all and I really needed that advising planning this semester. anyway there was an issue w something I had to go to the student office whatever for and he was in the room and my dad was there to help w talking thankfully (I mean he teaches there so it’s not weird for him to be there really) and anyway the adviser ended up half in the conversation a bit and uh he’s still really attractive and I had trouble looking at him tbh and I am again relieved that I don’t have to be weird abt it if I need advising

anyway the issue was that even tho my preferred name SHOULD be in the system for all purposes not involving legal shit, somehow my deadname was the one on the roster for the calculus class I’m taking, and in previous semesters it was definitely my preferred name that showed up, so we’re not sure if something’s wrong or if something broke since I took a semester off or if that teacher’s roster was pulling from somewhere else or if it’s pulling from the same place but it’s like a 50/50 chance which name it’ll get and I got lucky the first two times and less so this time or what but I’m hoping it will get. fixed maybe

I didn’t manage to catch the teacher after class tho, I was too busy fleeing the room and heading to my dad’s office to panic a bit and by the time we thought to look for the guy he was gone, since it’s a sorta late class and he just takes off after apparently bc Long Day or something idk but anyway I’m gonna try to go in early tomorrow and catch him during his office hours?? idk?? and just say ‘hey so my name should be different in the system but something went wrong, but I go by axel so if it’s cool can you just call me that and I put that on all my homework and tests instead of ******?’ and hopefully it’ll go fine. idk.

calculus seems ok so far. only three girls in the room, everyone else was Dudes everywhere. just a reminder that stem is such a male dominated field still, and a bit weird since the earlier math classes weren’t like that but I guess they’re the more general stuff that a lot of people have to take even not in stem so I guess it’s more of an even bunch or something

I awkwardly sorta unnecessarily drew attention to myself at one point and I’m trying not to Anxiety over it hours later so haha that’s cool

not related to school stuff but I kinda feel like the world’s tilting right now like physically it feels Wrong and idk what’s up with that but it’s probably worth documenting right??