#I need to learn to stop overrendering art

[elvyn]

Arle

[sulasaferoom]

I… I don’t know what „overrendered“ even means, but I think your art is really really beautiful. One of my favourites out there. And, while I think you shouldn’t stop learning new things and how to draw in different kinds/with different materials, bc to further educate yourself is always good, I also think, well, what’s the point of art? Is it to be stylisticly perfect or is it to convey some meaning and beauty to people like me, who have NO knowledge of art. (1/2)

Doesn’t matter how good your style is, if most of the people don’t like it, does it? And well, maybe you “overrendered” everything all the time, but I go back time and time again to look at your art and just enjoy it. (I hope this comes around the right way.) (2/2)   

Also:

Ok… I went over my ask in my head too many times and it drove me crazy so I had to write a follow up. It’s hard to say what I mean, but I’ll try again: It’s not that I think you should stop trying something new, stop improving your art or not listening to CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, but maybe you shouldn’t let someone tell you that everything you’ve done so far is bad, bc it’s not. (1/2)            

So, hm. Don’t stop rendering? But also don’t stop learning? As long as you’re happy with painting. Everything that draws your joy out of it is probably bad and you sometimes need distance to critic even if it’s well-meaning. (2/2)

Aaah omg Anon! I just woke up to your message. Thank you so much >

The post doesn’t make a lot of sense seeing only the art I have here (it’s my leisure art - sketches and quick things to let steam off), but you can click here to see my.. business side of art making.

For years now I have been struggling to work for some higher profile places, and the struggle to get there has been tearing me apart. I never thought that the prospect of sitting down to do art would take me into a full blow panic attack, but it happened a couple of times now. It’s not fun.

I am having trouble balancing mental health at the “it only depends on you” that seems the mantra on the concept and illustration community. Push harder. Go deeper. Sleep less. Sacrifice more. It only depends on you. If you’re not making it, it’s just because you’re not good enough. Keep trying. Push deeper. Bleed more.

It’s exhausting.

Specially having worked in the field for long enough to know that it does not depend only on you; There is a million variables and moving parts, and they all have to align just right...

And this is the part my brain yells back at me that I am just failing to see my weak spots, that it all sucks indeed, if only I was so good they couldn’t ignore me everything would work. Heh.

I’m stuck on this whirlwind of “I’ll never make it because the person behind the wheel is broken and not good enough”, so it’s been very hard to start gearing up to push the portfolio to the next level. I will try though.

in 2017 I have taken the time to focus on the art part, on the fun part, on the why I even do this part. I hope I’ll find something, because I have a feeling the financial part will start dwindling because of it. We will see.

Thank you so much for the message. I really want to keep learning, and oils has been a lot of fun. Hopefully it will help me expand horizons and try new things; Maybe even see the flaws in my way right now.