#I need you to know i vocally said out loud to kai sand that 'oh hey they're a good writer' in vc and kept complimenting the pacing

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

hi okay i'm so sorry if this is a bother but i'm literally screaming uh oh my GOSH OKAY

SO i'm the author of this fic !! and your comment literally made my entire life i'm crying right now oh my gosh

okok i just also really want to say a big thank you!! you've been my writing inspo for ages, whenever i need a break from certain fandoms or fanfics i always find myself going back to yours?? and the way i've spent hours just reading your works because your writing style is so . SO . ACDHCISUCIHUS it's just amazing ?? like your fics are the ones i stay up all night reading because i literally cannot stop?? i went on a one-year hiatus and posting another fic since then on ao3 was terrifying,, but your comment just . AGSJCBHSC made me feel so welcomed and at ease 😭 i know it's just a comment and it shouldn't be that big of a deal but man as someone who just . AKSCS loves you and your writing like holy smokes is this the real life???? like?????

OKOK IM SORRY FOR MY OVERUSE OF WORDS IN THIS BUT THANK U ILYSM HAVE AN AWESOME DAY

I HAVE BEEN HOLDING THIS ASK GENTLY FOR THE PAST HOUR HELLO??BGSDLFKMA;WIWEMFA

LITERALLY THE OPPOSITE OF A BOTHER I'M GBSADL;FAWE

i'm |;A;/ /pos I think this is straight up the most cherished ask i've ever received in my life I'm saving it forever thanksBG;LAKWMFOAWBHEF

Posting new writing fresh off a break can be pretty nerve wracking, I'm still working on getting back in the writing groove since my break tbh gbsdkfmowe, but my guy, my guy, ur writing?? REAL GOOD, REAL GOOD STUFF 10/10. One of the first things Kai Sand did when we got on VC this morning was drop a link to your fic in as many places as he could, and after reading it MAN I CAN SEE WHY, IT'S FIRE WRITING AND CHARACTERIZATION. Even people not in the fandom in our little group read it and liked it, so that says something about the quality. You've got mad skills and I'm glad someone like you is back into writing stuff and doing what they love, even if it was a little scary to put the writing up on ao3 <3

ALSO I'M BGSLDFMA;OWFOAWEM IT MEANS SO FREAKING MUCH TO ME THAT MY COMMENT COULD HELP WITH THE NERVES A BIT, AND I'M STILL |;A;/ OVER U LIKING MY WRITING N STUFF I'M GONNA SOB GBSDFMA;WOIEAMF NOT ME CRYING ON VC OVER THIS ASK BBGSDLFKJSDFLSDF

Anyway, you're lovely, thank you so much for this ask it genuinely just made my day /gen /gen /pos /pos /pos bG;LKAWMEF;OAWEF

For anyone wondering what fic we're talking about its she was my sister before she was your lover ninjago fic HIGHLY RECOMMEND GIVING IT A READ IT'S LOVELY AND HONESTLY INSPIRING MAKES ME WANT TO START WRITING SOME STUFF FOR NINJAGO AGAIN I GOTTA BE HONEST, FR REAL GOOD STUFF

[ask-toa-hahli]

Noctilio

Part 2: The Visit 

Hahli was getting rather anxious as the morning hours wore on, worrying that her waiting and patience would all be in vain. Would this work, would she even bother coming? By noon it was all beginning to all build up on her, that is until she spotted a blue winged being just arriving in front of the village.

“Gavla!” The water Toa shouted as she rushed over to greet the Matoran, but forced herself into a slower pace as she approached, not wanting to come off as overwhelming. “Welcome to Ga-Koro, I’m so glad you came over.”

“Hmph, well it’s not like I had anything better to do today.” Gavla remarked with little enthusiasm.

“Still, it’s good to have you here,” Hahli replied pleasantly. “I really think that you’ll-”

HHHSSSSSSSS

A sharp hiss abruptly interrupted the Toa. The young Boggarak growled from the water user’s shoulder at the Av-Matoran. With another vocal hiss, the spider then turned away and crawled behind the Toa’s back, retreating to the welcoming shade between her wing-fins.

“Um, that was just Iara, you don’t have to mind her.” Hahli tried to pick herself back up as Gavla just continued to stare with little impression. To her own chagrin, she had forgotten that the Visorak had practically glued onto her for the day. “She really won’t bother you at all. It’s nothing against you, little one is just sensitive and just isn’t fond of feeling light elements…”

“Yeah, well I don’t like them either.” Gavla somewhat muttered under her breath, Hahli had to keep herself from frowning.

The Toa decided to return to the original subject. “I know you just got here, but what do you think so far?”

Gavla kicked a tuft of sand. “It’s sandy.”

“Well, we are on a beach.”

The Matoran squinted as she turned her head to look around. “It’s bright.”

“Like I said, we’re on a beach.”

Without missing a beat Gavla added. “It’s loud.”

“That’s just the sound of the waves, many find it rather calming.” Hahli said, keeping her composure.

“Well I don’t,” Gavla said as she crossed her arms.

Hahli took a deep breath. “How about… we go in and I show you around.”

~~~~~~~~~

She took the Av-Matoran up and down the floating walkways, pointing out different huts, explaining things that were going on and introducing her to several residents. So far despite the efforts, Gavla was still showing little interest in everything there. It was certainly getting frustrating, but Hahli wanted to maintain her optimism. Besides… It’s not like I have any other better ideas...

When they were by the boats, Gavla wasn’t even paying attention as Kotu was explaining needing different fishing techniques for different types of fish. It seemed like nothing would fascinate the girl. Running out of ideas off the top of her head, Hahli worriedly looked around  trying to swiftly find something else that could be engaging. Maybe if she introduced someone else?

Quickly, she chose the next Matoran that she could easily spot. “Gavla, have I introduced you yet to- to um…. Vhisola!?”

The Toa dragged her guest up to the Ga-Matoran, who just so happened to be standing by the side of a hut sharpening a hatchet blade.

“Vhisola, this here is Gavla-”

“Uh huh, you already told us about her last night, so I already assumed that’s who she was.” Vhisola rebuffed, she gazed up from her work and casually scanned over the Matoran presented before her. “So, wings, huh?”

Gavla’s bat-wings twitched before folding back. “Yeah, so what?” The Av-Matoran briskly responded in a defensive manner.

“Well, why the wings?” Vhisola put bluntly.

“Vhisola,” Hahli intercepted. “You know very well how they got like that.”

“Yeah Hahli, I know ‘how’ like everyone does, but that’s not what I was asking.” Vhisola rolled her eyes. “I’m asking what’s the point of them.”

“What do you mean, what’s the point?” Gavla asked suspiciously.

“I mean, what does it have to do with having minor shadow energy?” She went on explaining. “All Matoran abilities are related to their element type, Ga-Matoran can hold their breath longer underwater and excel at swimming and such. So what exactly does having vulnerable wings to fly have to do with relation to the shadow element?”

“Vhisola!” Hahli snapped. “This is not appropriate right now!”

“It’s a legitimate question, Hahli,” Vhisola said as she continued sharpening her blade. “Some of us like being curious and knowledgeable.”

Gavla appeared to struggle with the question Vhisola had thrown out, her bat wings gave an aggressive flap. “I- I don’t know why… But what’s so special about being able to sit in water and swim a little better anyways?” The Av-Matoran threw back.

“Excuse me, the Ga-Matoran abilities are very important. It helps us connect and interact with our element, and you don’t even seem to know how your form functions with your past element.” Vhisola ended her chided lecture on a self satisfied note.

“Vhisola!” Hahli interjected through nearly gritted teeth.

Vhisola stopped sharpening her tool’s blade and glared back at Hahli. “Oh come on Hahli. It’s not everyday that a physically unique Matoran comes in, of course I want to know how it works.”

The winged Matoran just stared at Vhisola taken aback, a surprised expression behind her mask. “Unique…” she breathed out quietly.

Hahli was entirely regretting bringing these two into close proximity. She physically put herself between them, attempting to keep things from escalating further. “Vhisola… don’t you have something better you could be doing right now with your… Mata Nui, why do you even have that right now?” She added in response to the hatchet the Matoran was still holding

“Because Hahli,” Vhisola replied. “If you bothered to notice, we have an excess of bamboo and it needs to get chopped down.”

“Wait, you guys still get to chop things up here?” Gavla piped in.

The water Toa was surprised when the other Matoran spoke up, and was even more surprised to hear a pique of interest in her voice for the first time.

“Well yeah, of course we do,” Vhisola said. “What can you not or something?”

“No, not since we started living in New Atero.” Gavla stated. “At least not publicly.”

“Now that’s just restrictive,” the Ga-Matoran put plainly.

As unorthodox as this was starting to become, Hahli decided to at least try and go with it.

“Gavla, would you be interested in helping Vhisola with her chore?” She asked Gavla gently, though she gave a stern look at the water Matoran in turn.

Vhisola shrugged. “I guess I could show her how it’s properly done, but she needs her own hatchet.”

The former shadow Matoran raised her claws. “I think I’m good there.”

“Hmph, well, we’ll see how they hold up,” Vhisola lightly scoffed, though it really didn’t sound antagonistic.

“I guess we will,” Gavla replied mildly as she began to follow the other blue being who was now leading to a bamboo grove that had not been managed for a while.

Hahli watched the two closely as they walked away, her wing-fins began to tense. “If you have any trouble or you need something feel free to come get me,” she called out quickly, but the Matoran kept their pace, appearing to chat with one another and not once looking back at the Toa.

Slowly, Hahli’s wing-fins started to relax and after a little longer she began to feel comfortable enough to get to move on to attending to other things.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Near the end of the day, Hahli gave her goodbyes to Gavla and told her that she hoped to see her again tomorrow. The response she got back was an uninterested “We’ll see,” but she remained rather hopeful as the Matoran left for home that they would be returning the next day.

Later as the night was drawing in and the Ga-Matoran were busy cleaning up, finishing their tasks in the dwindling light and beginning to light lanterns. Hahli was caught up in the middle of assisting Pelagia and Kai, lifting and holding up the side of a boat on the dock so the two could make repairs where they normally couldn’t reach. She wanted them to be wrapping their job up soon. Already she could feel Iara crawling all over her armor, getting antsy and hungry.

“Hey Hahli!”

The Toa looked over to see which Matoran was addressing her. “What is it, Vhisola?”

Vhisola walked up to her, not seeming to care that the Toa was already in the middle of something. “So, about Gavla…”

“What about her?” There was a slight inflection of warning in her question. After the earlier near confrontation from today, Hahli was not in the mood for any of Vhisola’s complaints.

The Matoran was not concerned at all with the Toa’s tone. “Look I know you said she has a lot of problems-”

“I never said that-”

“Either way, she kinda said some things while she was here,” Vhisola went on.

Hahli let out a deep sigh, nearly resting her head against the boat side she was still holding.The Toa was already regretting introducing those two. “Can this wait? We can take this to my hut and- ”

“This is important.” Vhisola retorted with a correctional attitude, she continued before Hahli could protest again.

“We were talking about our old villages initially at first, talked about other stuff, eventually we got to the subject of who we admired.” The Ga-Matoran explained, she beamed a little with what she said next. “Naturally, I mentioned Nokama.”

It took some self control from Hahli to not groan, already she was making guesses at what sort of remark Vhisola would construed as disparaging or insulting over this. She wasn’t sure how much more patience she’d have left here. “So what did she say then?”

“That’s the thing, after I told mine, Gavla said who she admired…” Vhisola paused briefly. “...Which just so happened to be a Makuta…”

The water Toa nearly dropped the boat. “What?”

“And yes before you ask, that is exactly what she said.” Vhisola stated clearly enough.

Both Pelagia and Kai halted their work, a few other Ga-Matoran who had been walking by had stopped and looked over, some having overheard and others having sensed that something was disrupted.

The attention made Hahli feel more unnerved by the reveal. She recalled what Kirop told her about Gavla making disturbing remarks… but she had never guessed that involved actually idolizing… Images of that handmade monstrous figure that sat on Gavla’s nightstand right next to the bed crept into her head, making her suddenly feel cold and gross...

Hahli tried to say something at the moment. “That’s- That’s…”

“Yeah, it’s kinda messed up.” Vhisola willingly filled in.

“Mata Nui, please tell me that you didn’t say that to Gavla’s face?” The Toa hoped things weren’t made any worse.

“Of course I didn’t,” Vhisola said.“I just told her it was weird.”

“For Mata Nui’s sake, Vhisola.” Hahli flared.

“What? It was the mildest way to put it, she even mentioned that was the best thing anybody has said about it so far.” Vhisola defended.

A loose crowd was beginning to form around the area, murmurs and whispers were being spread through everyone, and Hahli didn’t need to hear them to know exactly who they were about. Her entire plan to help was now on the brink of backfiring completely on the first day  

“Look,” Hahli said aloud, making sure everyone could hear her. “I know how… unsettling this all sounds and it’s definitely something to be uncomfortable about. But Gavla has also been through some terrible things and has had a rough time getting through them, she’s definitely hurting and really needs some sort of help. So if we could just give a chance that she desperately needs…”

The Ga-Matoran were silent

“Hahli’s completely right.” Kai moved over from her position where she had been working on the boat and stood up. “We need to at least give her a chance and try to help. I don’t think any of us can continue to say we’re upholding the virtues, especially the virtue of unity,  if we decide that we should give up on a Matoran so easily.”

Several of the Ga-Matoran nodded in agreement, others talked with each other among themselves but seemed to come to the same agreement. A few left remained wary, but were willing enough to see how things went with the Av-Matoran first. The gathered Matoran then began to slowly disperse, returning to their normal tasks at hand.

“Thank you so much, Kai,” Hahli said gratefully. Relief washing over the Toa. “I really wasn’t sure how that was going to go.”

“Not a problem, Hahli.” Kai replied casually, “I just didn’t think it would be really fair to Gavla if we threw her away so easily.”

“No, it absolutely wouldn’t,” the Toa said as she shot a look at Vhisola.

The Komau wearer just shrugged. “I figured you’d be more upset if I didn’t mention it.”

Hahli was about to say something to reprimand Vhisola, when Kai spoke up again.

“Hey, if you want you can send Gavla my way anytime, I won’t mind if she hangs around while I work. I can take her boating as well if she’d like.”

“-Oh that would be great,” Hahli exclaimed, delighted by this sudden development. “That would be very helpful, if we could just get her to feel safe and comfortable here I think she’ll start to relax and be well… less abrasive and maybe open herself up to people.”

Pelagia had finished the last repair and got up, finally allowing Hahli to gently place the boat back down, while Vhisola rolled her eyes and walked off, but the Toa didn’t care as much about the Matoran’s behavior anymore.

“I mean it, I can’t thank you enough,” Hahli told Kai.

Kai smiled. “Like I told you Hahli, not a problem.”

Toa and Matoran then exchanged their goodnights and departed towards their huts, much as the rest of the village settled in for the evening. The sun finished its descent and with it the clear waters surrounding the Koro plunged into murky darkness.

[missaureus]

ElyXiOn in Manila Pt. 3

The fans were ecstatically waving their lightsticks on the air to match up the heated screams as the arena lights turned off. I was about to tear up. Overwhelmed. The boys were already on the rising platform ready to be revealed while the first VCR was rolling. I just had my hand covering my mouth because I still cannot believe it was already happening. They were hitting the notes of the first song, The Eve. As expected, the vocals were just unbelievably powerful. It served me goosebumps! It was starting but I was still being slapped by a big wave of panic and shock. I did not know what to do first! I just kept on excessively saying Oh my god! in between the mouth covering. Not to mention that they were performing on the main stage, thus, I had to take an effort tiptoeing to be able to see them from my area. Nonetheless, I just tried to watch them with my eyes instead of taking videos. The next song was on, Forever, followed by Kokobop, and I already had the guts to figure on how I can take videos with that kind of situation. 

During Growl, the boys were already approaching towards the center extended stage that caused chaos in our pit! I kept on chanting how handsome they are, especially when Jongin was dancing in front of my eyes! It is not even my first time to see him but I was still surprised! God really spent so much time molding this guy TT After the group performance was XiuBaek’s break dance on the rising platform of the center stage. It was good, I was questioning why they aren’t the main dancers of the group. No joke at all! VCR 2 played and eventually a time to appreciate the art that Jongin is while performing I See You. How I wish I saw it much closer since he did it on the main stage but still, seeing the whole production was beautiful. His spins were made out of grace.

After Jongin’s solo stage was the musical part. This was actually a favorite, it is analogous to the acoustic medley of EXOrDium setlist. It consisted of three songs, Call Me Baby, Touch It, and Chill. I love how hyped they were in this segment, they were trying to tell a story of young professionals going to a bar after a hard day from the office. Great acting with those facial gestures and body language plus the adlibs. Did I mention how grand the set-up was? Because it was grand grand! I wonder how they assemble such background in overseas stops, am curious. This is what I love about Kpop concerts, they invest so much on the production and do pioneering concepts. Every cent used to buy the concert ticket is worth it. Always. 

Kyungsoo had his solo stage, For Life English version. Thank you for the crowd respecting the masterpiece by staying silent throughout the solemn part of the song. In between silence, one fan really shouted his lung’s content, “I love you, Kyungsoo!. I felt that and it broke me to tears. Being able to attend ElyXiOn was a miracle and I was so much grateful that I chose to fight for it until the end. I wiped my wet cheeks out and sighed with relief. Thank God for this experience.

Next to the set list were Going Crazy and Sweet Lies. The choreographies were done to the center narrow stage. Eventually, first ment! They forwarded and stayed in their usual line formation to officially greet everyone. I was happy to see them together again after a long time. Manila stop was a reunion for all since they had different flights coming to the country. They just had short introductions of their names with matching Mabuhay, Kamusta kayo? and such. Next in line were Boomerang and Lotto. I love the throwback feels of the microphone props used in Bthe latter song. Lotto is just that song! I do not know but Jongin is just crazy for it! Probably because he was not able to do promo stages of it he gotta give his all for all remaining Lotto stages haha.

Kids at play plus messing up with CBX during Kaching happened next. This part was so wildt! Umin and Jongdae’s faces were on a life-sized fake peso bill and coin hahaha! Money’s good. Money’s bad! 

Finally, a rest for everyone! A ballad on the list, Sing for You. The members had an individual big portrait LED screens on stage. Did I mention that they sing live? Because yes! And after calming our nerves down, they attacked again. What’s good, Junmyeon? He just rudely performed Playboy on a table. The disrespect that I was not able to handle! But it was so cute he was trying to pull off a fierce and sexy image but it is out of his line. Hands down to the leader who loves to try new unfamiliar things. I guess this whole concert duration was a good example of a roller coaster ride haha! They would love to wreck you with intimate or hard performances and fix you back with ballads. Hand by Chanyeol emotionally wrecked everyone.

Back to happy setlist - Cloud 9, What U Do?, Lucky One and Tender Love. Okay this part was top-tier chaos, especially during the last song. The boys where scattered all over the arena, reaching corners to throw signed balls. There was swerving of people within the pit. I was so afraid of stampede to happen!!! My videos were so messy, I even recorded myself shouting at the back to stop pushing lmao. It continued for some time until the segment ended. Second ment is on. As I reviewed my fancams, there was even a part that I was not able to turn it off, I was uttering “ Wala na, patay nako!” It’s over, I’m dead already! because that was honestly scary. I cannot remember what they really talked about during this time but I can only remember Junmyeon kept on praising Filipino fans for singing along well haha. He even asked if we have Korean academy in the country lol. He also asked this during EXOrDium. We do no not to fanchants, that’s the rule. No one bends the rule!

The boys split up again, staying on the side extended stage. I honestly forgot what songs to be performed were on the spot near me but Jongin stopped literally in front of me, or in front of our area, there were like two people in front of me, during Walk on Memories! I tried hard to get my crumpled cloth banner that I happened to put in my back pocket! I raised it with my one hand and waved it while struggling to used my other hand to video him! I swear that was the closest proximity that I had with Jongin huhuhuhu! His eyes wandered over the crowd. I was not sure if he was able to read it. It was written as GOD KAI. But when it was already Jongin’s turn to sings his part, he acknowledged me by pointing it my banner mannerly HUHUHUHUHU!!! I shouted and kept chanting ohmygodohmygod!!! I must have saved someone from my previous life to deserve this! (okay, I am currently having a goosebumps while typing this down huhu) I was not able to video it properly, my whole existence was trembling. I tried to remain calm for the rest of the song since he did not leave the spot! I tried to reviewed my fancam second by second and yes, he read it! I am sure. 

Next in line was Heaven, a solo stage of Jongdae. I tried to collect myself this time. I was devastated in a good way. Is that even possible? I was already so satisfied and blessed to be recognized for once in my fangirl life. It was a right decision to stay in the area! What were the odds? I was greatly favored!

Though I could already go back to my condo, happy and satisfied, the most awaited part was yet to happen, the club/rave one! With Sehun’s Go as a mood-setter of the segment. I am so proud of him, producing this song! The next was Diamond, followed by Coming Over, and Run This. During Run This, Sehun replaced Jongin’s spot. He was so so so close! He even bent towards our area to reach for the microphone! He was unbelievably handsome! The last two songs were, Drop That and Power and ohmygod again because Jongin assumed his former position. What a dream to see him dance to Power in front of me!!! This part was fun. I guess its very highlight was when Jongdae was on a rising platform and it elevated when he sang the high-note part of Drop That! It was so lit! The confetti bombarded afterwards to end the grand moment. 

Encore followed. The fans were chanting. I was in denial that it was about to end. The boys appeared again and I was left silent because they skipped Monster which was originally on the setlist. I felt robbed, that song is lit. I need to witness it! Sadly, it went that way. They performed Don’t Go on the rising platform of the center stage. I was figuratively clenching my heart because the song brought so much emotions, happy and sad. We are literally growing with them. The fairytale-ish era was gone. 

EXO proceeded with their ending ments. Chanyeol shared that he had his scuba diving lessons in the Philippines and is now a licensed scuba diver. He also expressed that the country is one of the best places to chill and relax (we take pride of our white sand beaches and anything that plays with nature!) Kyungsoo was regretful that we only had one day for Manila stop, he also expressed that he loves to visit Philippines because of the food. Jongin said that we also wanted to have more days to perform in this stop and will try to do so for the next concerts. He expressed how much he enjoyed the loud crowd neomu neomu! Manila is the best! is the most remarkable comment that Jongdae mentioned. Minseok shared that Manila stop was a reunion for the members since they were not able to see each other due to individual schedules. He considered Manila stop very memorable because of that. Baekhyun emphasized how passionate PH fans are that he also drained all his energy to be at par with ours. It only meant that he enjoyed performing on stage for the fans. While Baekhyun was expressing his thoughts, the fans sang in chorus an advance happy birthday for Baekhyun. Sehun also expressed his interest of going back to the Philippines apart from doing concerts. It was already Junmyeon’s turn for the ment. He asked the fans if we’ve noticed those dust flying from above because he thought that the day was Blooming Day. I guess he just want to do a free promo for CBX haha that he then sang the song and hoped for the subunit to have a Manila stop for their concert. The other members were very chaotic throughout the ment, they had their own world especially ChanKaiSoo! Junmyeon noticed Jongin playfully let the two chicken toys kissed lmao and Junmyeon had secondhand embarassment while asking for apology. To distract the moment, Baekhyun sang Baby Shark hahahahahaha what the hell, I swear they are kids! The crowd joined the singing and the members were all smiley. When Junmyeon said that the members did not want to back to Korea [because they were enjoying too much on stage]  the VIP to general admission chanted “Walang uuwi! Walang uuwi!” I swear that was the loudest cheer we had that night! But I so disappointed because the translator did not translate it. You only have one job, miss. Junmyeon was actually asking what it was about and got no respond. Fans were already shouting at the top of our lungs “Nobody goes home!!!” Sadly, he did not get the message. Junmyeon shared a heartwarming message that: Wherever we are, EXO and EXOLs are one. Baekhyun, again, started singing Baby Shark and the crowd followed lmao. Jongdae and Xiumin were so done with him that they grabbed Baekhyun on the neck to make him stop. Lastly, Junmyeon said they will be back for a vacation and new concert and introduced the last song, Angel. 

The boys are happily picking stuff thrown on stage by the fans and tried to wear everything they liked! It was really the end of this soon-to-be memory~ Kyungsoo shouted loudly “ Mahal kita, Philippines!” and I appreciated it so much! We ended the day with a photo taking with everyone in the arena. They waved goodbye as they vanished like a sunset under the main stage. 

It was over but I was so happy. Probably the happiest. Definitely the best concert. I love them more. It is more than just stanning EXO as an artist but they are people who are part of my youth. I take pride of whatever they do in their life and career that makes them whole are a human being. 

I went how full the next day. I went to the airport alone and took time to appreciate how lucky I am and I greatly honored the Lord for letting me come this far. He knew how much I had, a fistful of endurance over not-so pleasant events but He allowed me and did not let go of me. Thank God. Thank God.