#I promise I’ll work on other things and replies soon. This game kinda refreshed my motivation and inspiration to make pretty things and get

[hyaciiintho]

🌸｡*ﾟ+. I apologize for the person I have become, now that I’ve finished a playthrough of Lies of P. I will not elaborate further. Thank you all for your patience and understanding ♡

[arhvste]

❝ effortless ❞

masterlist!

01 -> 02

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

an -> this is the longest chapter i will be including in the series, i just needed to get the base for the plot down i promise i’m not gonna make you all read 2467 words every update !!

drowned out chatter faded the further you wandered down the halls towards the place you’d practically be calling your second home for the next year and-a-half. your arms swung slightly by your side as footsteps strode from behind.

“ya know,” atsumu piped up suddenly, taking in your optimistic aura. “this isn’t gonna be the most glamorous job.”

“i’m more than aware.” you shot back not letting the pseudo blonds comments dampen your approach to the new position you’d been approached to take.

despite being a well-known volleyball team with notably talented players, inarizaki had yet to fill the role of a team manager with them ultimately dismissing the role and disregarding the hopes and intentions of finding someone willing to take the role seriously and with the right intentions of being a team manager. they had applications sent in, a flood of them to be precise, but alas, majority of the applications were just desperate attempts from girls just trying to find away to inch a little closer to the miya twins. the few that weren’t from the mass of girls were from other students but their applications were either filled in wrong or their availability wasn’t compatible enough to work with the club.

“i don’t get why yer so eager to start. yer gonna have to do things like fill up water bottles and wash the bibs we use for practice.” osamu commented as you hummed dismissively towards his attempts to break your spirit.

“because, i don't have to be referred into an actual club by my homeroom teacher now and your mom said you two will be helping me take care of the… less dignified, aspects of the role now. that means washing your smelly kit and towels. remember?”

atsumu scoffed while osamu settled with a short huff of annoyance. that was indeed part of the deal you had made when the twins had requested your assistance in the team.

you had been close friends with the talented twins for as long as you could remember. you’d even go as far as to say you were practically the third miya sibling. raised and grown up together tightly, the three of you stayed knitted together up to the present day. you were someone the two boys felt reliant on, but they were also ready to drop their own activities should you need their assistance. you were well-liked by the twins and that was something the majority of the student body envied but not to the point where they’d say anything and risk having one or worse, both, the boys overhearing them bad-mouthing you and result in them to take the situation into their own hands.

it was atsumu who had first suggested you become the team manager a few weeks prior to the present moment. you were attending another regular visit to the miya residence and atsumu had brought it up over dinner with yourself and his family.

“hey, we kinda need a manager. i think kita’s gettin’ a little stressed cause nationals will be approaching soon and they didn’t have one last year either.” atsumu looked up at you as you had a mouthful of rice.

you momentarily glared at him for turning all attention over to you when he clearly knew you were eating. you swallowed and shook your head at the boy sat across the table to you.

“i dunno, that seems like a big commitment.”

“i mean, i won't lie to ya it is, but being in any club is a commitment so ya might as well join one yer more likely to enjoy.” osamu chimed in as his mother caught your attention.

“don’t let the boys pressure ya. i think it would be nice if ya did it though darlin. both boys can walk ya home after and samu’s right. joining as their manager is better than being put into a club ya might not like attending seeing as yer yet to join any extra curriculum.”

you whined and leaned back in the soft wooden chair in the miya’s homey dining room.

“you just said not to let the boys pressure me and then joined in yourself!”

mrs miya laughed and waved off your complaint. “they get it from me, what can i say.”

you glanced up from the now softly steaming food to face the two boys across from you. atsumu had a soft but still smug smile painted across his face while osamu wore a slightly sympathetic yet hopeful expression on his. you were almost ready to give into the pair right then and there but ultimately decided that if you were to brush up on the rules of volleyball, the twins were going to have to brush up on the rules of you too.

“fine.” you stated to which atsumu smiled brightly too. “i’ll be your manager since i really don’t want to be assigned to any other club but,” you paused and didn't miss the way their eyes darted back to yours. “i’m not washing your disgusting training stuff and the towels. i also don’t want a hoard of your fangirls stampeding over me at any given moment and lastly, i get my own room for overnight stays when we have to attend matches that take place further away. comprende?”

atsumu shrugged and agreed to your terms as osamu followed suit. “great,” you finally smiled a little. “talk to kita and i’ll get started with it whenever he deems suitable.”

mr and mrs miya sent thankful smiles your way to which you softly returned before turning back to your meal completely unaware as to what chaos you had just unknowingly brought upon yourself.

back to the current moment, you stopped outside the two large doors leading into the spacious gym with slight hesitation. the small crack between the doors gave you the first exposure to the area you’d be finding yourself more familiar with from now on.

“what's the hold up?” atsumu queered looking down at your now thoughtful looking expression. “ya were excited to get started just a moment ago weren’t ya?”

you bit the inside of your cheek as your palm lay rested upon the flat surface of the gym door. “i don’t think excited is the word, but you think i’ll do fine right?” you frowned slightly, internally scolding yourself for letting such intrusive thoughts invade your mind just before you were about to introduce yourself to which would be ‘your boys’ in the fast approaching future.

“we wouldn’t have asked ya if we didn’t think it would be a role fit for ya.” osamu replied, resting his hands behind his head. you scoffed and shot a look from behind you towards the grey haired twin. “liar, you two just wanted someone to wash your gross kit.” atsumu snorted before ruffling your hair, stirring irritation inside of you. “think yer the one whose forgotten our end of the deal where we agreed to help ya out with this. we’re in this with ya together now, let's get movin’.”

atsumu left you no time to protest as he pushed the doors open having it swing widely so the gym lights flooded the slightly dimmer hallway giving anyone looking a perfect view of the three of you. heads turned in your general direction as a result of the minor scene the blond had caused leaving osamu to only roll his eyes and for you to stand meekly between the twins as atsumu ushered you inside the clean smelling gym.

“this is y/n, the new manager i said we had gotten you!” a proud smile tugged on atsumus lips as the other boys looked you up and down as if you were some sort of animal being fawned over in a petting zoo.

“shut up! you didn’t get me, i agreed on my own terms!” you hissed at the setter elbowing his side slightly. osamu snickered at your public scolding towards his twin as the rest of the team began to gather round. kita sent an apologetic look your way as he approached you with a firm hand.

“it’s nice to finally meet you l/n-san. please take care of us and we’ll do the same.” his voice calm but transparently clear, you had never met someone so genuine and almost proper in your life. “likewise.” you smiled taking his hand to give him a confident shake in greeting. leaving you with a firm nod to depart from you and talk to the coach, kita gave you one last look of what you could’ve read as thankful but you weren’t completely sure. the better you got acquainted with these boys, the better you’d be able to read them which was your first goal set in becoming a manager they could rely on the same way the twins did.

aran was next to approach you with a clearly thankful smile. “i haven’t seen ya around in a while y/n, good to see yer the one the twins informed on the empty role.” you smiled back at the ace and placed your hands behind your back. you were already well acquainted with aran due to the twins association with him from a young age. back then, yourself and the twins came as a package deal whenever suited so you had been introduced to the ace from a younger age and had built up the same respect for him as the twins had.

“i wouldn’t say informed but more of a pressured attack on me.” aran grinned at you as atsumu retaliated with a “not true!” from across the courts where he was helping set up the net. “either way, good to see ya here. nice to have the three miyas in one place.” you scoffed in amusement before waving off the comment.

after being thoroughly introduced to a handful of members before practice had officially started, you sat down on the bench beside the coach as he went through the basics of the game as the boys played. you already knew a handful of rules and techniques to the game which was a given considering just how close you were to atsumu and osamu, but you were grateful for the refresher as you observed the players and took your first attempt in noting down particular quirks and techniques you noticed each boy possess.

training lasted 2 hours which was longer than the usual club activities but you understood that the volleyball team were a particularly important asset to the school so it was only natural they’d be granted more time for extracurricular. osamu was the first to approach you with a towel wrapped around his neck. “so,” he said before wiping any excess sweat on his face. “what did ya think?” you smiled and took the towel from his hands before tossing it into the nearby laundry bin.

“it was… a lot better than i thought it was going to be.” you meant that earnestly. it was a little overwhelming at first that you’d assume anyone would find that understandable seeing as you had practically been thrown into the deep end with a group of boys you were not particularly familiar with. “that's good then. glad we convinced ya?” yourself and osamu wandered towards the door leading towards the boys changing rooms where their bags were kept. “for now.” you stopped outside the door and nodded for osamu to head in with the other players. he hummed content with your reply before following suit with the small litter of players entering through the door to retrieve their things.

you waited 5 minutes for the boys to leave the changing room before saying your thanks and goodbyes to the team you were slowly getting more to grips with. it was going to take a while to get into the swing of things but you were certain you’d find enjoyment in it somewhere along the line seeing as your first practice wasn’t awful.

the three of you chattered among yourself as usual with atsumu dominating most of the conversation and osamu only butting in to contradict his brother. you were as always, in between the two boys as they asked you how you found it and what you thought. after reassuring them for the 6th time, they gave in and accepted your answer as genuine. despite not saying anything, they were a little guilty after springing such a heavy role on you but they knew you’d pull through no matter the circumstances so they were ultimately satisfied in their choice.

“practice was intense, but i kinda liked it.” you hummed as you walked under the dim street lights illuminating the paths ahead.

“yeah i guess it was, it’s not always like this though. i think some of them were a little more into it seeing as you were there today.” osamu mentioned as he stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets.

“you think?” you raised an eyebrow as atsumu sighed.

“i know that’s the case. you practically had the same effect kita has on all of us. not me though, i’m always good whether yer there to watch or not.”

“i’m sure you are.” you chimed as the three of you approached your street. “ya know who was playin’ a little intensely today though?” osamu raised an eyebrow to his brother's question. “who?”

“suna. he seemed a little more into it today.”

you raised an eyebrow in question as you looked back to glance at atsumu. “who’s suna?”. atsumu hummed as he began to describe the fellow second year. “tall, six foot one i mean, dark moppy hair, kinda hunches over when he’s standin’.” you thought back to the players you had been vaguely acquainted with within the past few hours. your mind touched upon every player's face you recalled until it landed on a certain face you were sure fit atsumu’s description. “number 10?” osamu hummed, confirming your hypothesis correct. “wonder what got into him though, his surroundings don’t usually motivate him unless he’s explicitly told to stop slackin’ maybe he just had an off day.” the grey haired twin suggested to which atsumu agreed. you shrugged as the three of you stopped outside the front of your own house.

“well, training was an absolute delight. see you both tomorrow.” you waved the boys off as atsumu sneered at your borderline sarcastic comment. “stop lyin’ ya loved it and are thankful we picked ya really!”

you laughed at his call out comment as osamu waved and ushered his brother away before you closed your front door shut before leaning back on the door for a moment.

suna huh? well, if your job was to analyse the players and pick out when they were having off days, you’d just have to start watching their number 10 a little closer.

taglist! : @inakou @tsukkaria @al3x1ss @elianetsantana @archivednikes @tendo-sxtori @haajime @moonlightangel @tetsukuroosgf @lexysclubhouse @your-consulting-fangirl @chibichab @brokeasshoee

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[skygemspeaks]

I’ve been reading the Log Horizon light novels today and I’m feeling like ShiroNao, so I thought I’d write their get-together scenario. If anyone wants to see some more from this verse, send me an ask and I’ll be happy to oblige!

So, it happens while they’re preparing for the creation of the Round Table.

It’s the night before the Crescent Moon Refreshment Stand is supposed to open, and Shiro is busy finishing up some paperwork.

Marielle is trying to get him to take a break and actually eat something, but Shiro isn’t really paying attention.

And one thing leads to another, and somehow they learn that Shiro is so focused on his work that he’ll just absentmindedly (and completely truthfully) answer just about anything they ask him, even if it’s something he’d normally be too embarrassed to answer.

And Naotsugu, being the Worst Best Friend Ever™ decides to take full advantage of this, asking him embarrassing questions like “as a child what did you want to be when you grew up” (a werewolf) and “what’s your greatest fear” (his grandmother).

Everyone else is trying really hard not to laugh, because that might accidentally get Shiro’s full attention and they’ll lose their fun.

In the end, the question that really gets everyone’s attention is when Naotsugu asks, “Do you like anyone?”

“Yes,” answers Shiro, and there’s stifled gasps around the room.

Marielle, ever the jokester, pipes up, asking, “Is it me?”

“No,” answers Shiro absently.

Snickering, Hien asks, “Is it me?”

“No,” is the reply, once again.

“Is it Henrietta?” asks Shouryuu.

“No,” replies Shiro. (Henrietta tries not to look too down at that.)

“Is it me?” asks Nyanta, amused with the game and wanting to get in on the fun.

“No.”

“Is it my darling Akatsuki?” asks Henrietta.

“No,” replies Shiro. 

On the surface, Akatsuki seems indifferent. Naotsugu, having traveled and fought alongside her for more than a month now, can see that she’s close to tears.

And he may like to tease her, but he doesn’t actually like seeing his friend upset. So to lighten the atmosphere, he decides to make another ridiculous guess.

Putting on his best mock-confident voice, he gets up and declares, “Obviously it must be me!”

The others have already started snickering, but Shiro’s absent “yeah,” immediately shuts them all up.

There’s a moment of dead silence.

Naotsugu wonders if his own wishful thinking made him hear wrong.

“EHHHHHH????” they all exclaim, and Shiro jumps about a foot in the air, startled at the sudden noise.

“W-wha-?” he asks, looking around in confusion.

He notices everyone staring, dumbounded, between him and Naotsugu.

He turns a quizzical look on his friend.

“Y-y-y-you like me?” he squeaks.

And maybe, at this point, if Shiro had had his wits about him, he might have been able to just play it off as a joke.

But instead, he just turns a very alarming shade of red and refuses to answer.

Nyanta, being the responsible adult that he is (and so infinitely relieved that they’re finally talking about it) herds all their flabbergasted friends out of the room, and then goes to stand guard in front of the door so that none of them to come back to eavesdrop on the private conversation.

Once everyone else has left the room, Shiro finally drops his face into his hands and says a very quiet, “I’m sorry.”

Naotsugu, still very dazed and half convinced he’s dreaming, is confused. “Sorry for what?” he asks.

“Sorry if it makes you uncomfortable,” Shiro explains with a shrug, not looking his friend in the eye. “I wasn’t going to tell you about it. I mean, you’ve already made it abundantly clear that you’re straight. And I promise I’ll get over it soon-”

(That’s a lie. Shiro’s been head over heels for him since they first met years ago.)

And this time, it’s Naotsugu’s turn to look embarrassed.

“Bi, actually,” he corrects, his face flaming red.

“....huh?” asks Shiro, his brain grinding to a halt.

“I’m bi,” he repeats. “But. Uh. Y’see. There’s this guy I like, right? And he’s like, super smart and mature and successful. He’s the one with all the brains, the one who’s going to fix Akiba and I’m just a dumb musclehead who doesn’t know how to do anything except get hit, and there’s no way he’d ever like me back and I’m the worst person ever at lying and I always make jokes about how much I love panties and boobs because if I don’t then I just know he’s going to find out that I’m kinda completely in love with him but he’s my best friend and I don’t want to ever lose him and-”

Naotsugu is talking so fast at this point it’s getting almost difficult to understand him - like a dam somewhere has finally broken and all the words he’d kept locked up all this time are finally spilling out and there’s he can do to stop them.

Finally, Shiro gets up from his chair, and Naotsugu finally stops his nervous rambling. He keeps his head tilted down, looking up at Shiro through his eyelashes, shyly.

Shiro has an exasperated expression on his face as he approaches the guardian, and leans his forehead against Naotsugu’s.

“You ridiculous man,” he chides gently.

Naotsugu laughs, slightly breathless.

“But I’m your ridiculous man,” he replies quietly. “Right?”

Shiro kisses him.

He smiles against Naotsugu’s lips.

“Right.”

[distances-explode]

Dirty Laundry (Jalex)

For @alltimefanfiction‘s Last Young Renegade writing contest.

I had about 57 different ideas for one-shots for this song, but I finally decided on this one mostly because there’s never enough fics with trans characters. I use way too many ellipses in this one but I’m kinda okay with it.

Dirty laundry is piling in her room…

 “What’s got you so excited today?” Jack whispers as the collection plates are passed around the sanctuary. The soft piano music just barely masks his words. If his family heard him talking during any part of the service, he would probably get his mother’s infamous evil eye for the rest of the day. However, he just has to know what has his usually calm, collected friend practically vibrating in his seat. “You haven’t stopped shaking your leg since you sat down!”

Alex shrugs, but a half smirk grows on his face. “I’m just in a really good mood today.” He replies as the music fades to a stop and the pastor begins his sermon.

Jack ignores the way his best friend flinches in just the slightest when he leans in close, his lips nearly touching Alex’s ear. “Nothing you want to share with even your bestest friend in the world?”

Alex is sure not to meet Jack’s gaze after this question. Blushing, he shoves Jack’s shoulder. After being as close as they are for as long as they have been, pushing one another’s buttons was second nature to the two. Jack was the ultimate master at figuring out All Things Alex, even better at reading him than his brother. And while Jack would certainly say this was one of the many awesome things about their friendship, Alex would describe it as more of a curse disguised as a blessing. “I’m sure you’ll find out after today. You’ll just have to be patient.”

“When have you ever seen me be patient?” Jack whines, alerting his family seated in the pew to their front of the conversation. The four glares suddenly staring them down freeze their words in their mouths. Although this cuts their conversation short for the time being, it has absolutely no control over their soft giggles once the Barakat family refocuses their attention to the front of the sanctuary.

As much as Alex wishes that’s the end of the conversation, he’s not in the least surprised when Jack starts talking again after the benediction as if there had never been a pause. “You have to at least give me a clue. Did you get a car?” Jack guesses.

Alex scoffs. Jack believes Alex is the only 18-year old in the world whose parents refuse to let him even look at the classifieds for a used car. “You know I wouldn’t have been able to keep something like that to myself.”

“Some other gift, then? Something huge and epic that you can share with the only person you actually like in this church?” Even though now they wouldn’t want to be friends with anyone else, the friendship between the boys started as more of a necessity than a desire. When Jack’s family joined the church after immigrating from Lebanon, Alex’s family was the first to welcome them. They were the ones to help the Barakats achieve citizenship and learn the most common English phrases. Because they were the same age, Jack and Alex were practically expected to be best friends by their parents. Jack wasn’t yet enrolled in school and Alex had never really connected with any of the kids in the church’s daycare, leaving them more or less stuck with one another. It wasn’t long before they realized their mutual love for Sesame Street and throwing gravel at their siblings, and from then on, they were inseparable.

“Somehow, I don’t think this is something you would want to share with me.” Alex winks, heading to the church basement where all the post-service refreshments are served.

Jack’s eyebrows furrow together for just a moment before his jaw drops and he races after his friend. “You got a girlfriend, didn’t you? You’ve been seeing her in secret and you’re finally going public about it!”

“Jesus, Jack!” Alex exclaims at his melodrama, shaking his head and laughing. “No, I don’t have a secret girlfriend. Your guesses are getting warmer, though.”

As they pile snack plates high with cookies and drink sugary fruit punch, the guessing game continues. While every guess certainly brings enjoyment to everyone within listening distance, Alex assures Jack that his guesses are off and he’s definitely not near the correct answer. When Alex’s parents come find him so they can leave, Jack is in full-on pout mode. “If you were really my friend, you’d just tell me.” He mumbles, crossing his arms.

Alex ruffles Jack’s hair while his parents laugh at the two. “I promise, I’ll tell you as soon as I see you again.” Jack groans. The two didn’t attend the same school, meaning Jack would likely have to wait an entire week until next Sunday’s church service to find out. As bull-headed as Alex is being about the whole situation, Jack doubts any amount of texts he sent the boy would get him to give in.

As the Gaskarths walk away, however, Jack smirks. There’s never any harm in trying.

 She’s got her secrets...

 “Alexander, get back in the house this instant! Pastor Myers will be here any minute, and it’s pouring rain out there!” Alex’s mother stands in the doorway, her face conveying something between anger and fear.

“I’m not doing it, mom! I don’t need his help, and I don’t need yours!” He doesn’t care that his screams are certainly loud enough to alert the neighbors, even over the pounding thunder.

“Alex, we’re doing this for you. Why can’t you see that? You know this isn’t okay. Let us make you better!”

“I’m not sick and I’m not broken. There’s nothing to change! I’m happy with myself, and as far as I’m concerned, so is God. Why can’t you see that?”

The tears in her fierce eyes tell Alex that this is a battle he’s losing. “Please, baby. Come back inside. Let us work this out.”

It’s a battle he’s losing, and he refuses to stick around and see the end of it. “No. If you can’t accept me, I’m leaving.” He says simply, turning and running off the property.

He expects her to follow him, get in her car and chase him until he comes back. However, as he reaches the end of the driveway, the front door slams shut, and when he turns back to look at the house, no one else is in sight.

 Jack’s front porch is the last place either boy expects Alex to end up. Jack is home alone, and when the doorbell rings he almost doesn’t answer it. However, it isn’t long before the ringing turns into knocking and before long Jack is too annoyed to ignore it. He’s ready to chew out whoever is on the other side of the door until he opens in and reveals his best friend whom he hasn’t seen in 3 weeks, dripping wet. “Alex? Your mom told me you were sick! Where have you been? No, wait, why are you here? Are...Are you crying?” The questions tumble from Jack’s mouth before he can even process them.

Alex sniffles, arms squeezing himself tight in a solo hug. “I-I ran away. I didn’t know where else to go. Your house was the first place I thought of.”

Jack’s eyes go wide, less worried that Alex ran away from his family and moreso concerned that it’s nearly 9 o’clock at night and Alex walked to his house in a thunderstorm wearing nothing but old jeans, a stained t-shirt, and a pair of sneakers which he’s currently holding in his hands. Alex’s house is at least a good five miles from Jack’s own, and on the opposite side of the tallest hill in town.

“Right, of course.” Jack tries to be welcoming, covering his confusion and worry with a soft smile. “Come in, you must be freezing. I’ll make us some hot chocolate.”

Alex bites his lip, hesitant. “I don’t know if you’ll want me here long. I ran away from my family for a reason and once I tell you why I don’t think you’ll want me to stay.”

Taken aback, Jack’s calm facade falters. “Why come here at all, then?”

Jack can barely tell the shrug he gives as an answer apart from the shivers racking his body. “You’re my best friend. I want you to hear what’s going on from me and I don’t want to find out you hate me through the grapevine.” The tears forming in Alex’s eyes hurt Jack more than he expects them to.

“Alex, please come inside.” Jack urges. “There’s not much you could say to me that would make me as upset with you as you seem to think I’ll be.” He steps out of the doorway, leaving Alex more than enough room to walk inside. As the boy finally gives in and steps inside the house, realization dawns on Jack. “This...whatever is going on, does it have to do with that secret you were hiding from me last time I saw you?”

If he had known the question would cause Alex’s sudden descent into tears, he never would have asked.

Nodding, Alex allows his head to fall into his hands. The shivers that once shook his shoulders have been overthrown by sobs as the dam once holding him together shattered. “I really thought everything would be okay when I told my parents, but they didn’t react like I expected them to. They hate me, Jack. They hate me.” He sobs, legs barely keeping him upright.

There’s approximately 200 questions Jack wants to ask in that moment, but none of them seem particularly sensitive to the crying boy’s position, so instead he does what he does best: he closes the distance between his best friend and himself and pulls Alex into a tight bear hug. He doesn’t even speak, knowing any reassurances he attempts to give will likely fall on deaf ears. And when Alex’s legs finally give out, Jack falls to the ground with him, not even loosening his grip around Alex’s frame. “I’ve got you, okay? Just take some deep breaths, please.” He coos, rubbing circles into Alex’s soaked shirt.

“I can’t. Not until I tell you. God, I thought it would be better if I waited to tell you, but every time I think about you not knowing I get a little breathless. I suck at keeping secrets from you.” Alex tries to pass this off as a joke, but when his voice cracks and tears cut him off at the end, Jack feels nothing but heartbreak.

“So tell me.” Jack says, swallowing back the lump in his throat that both makes him feel like he’s going to cry and vomit at the same time.

And Jack’s pretty sure that when he finally does hear the truth, just for a second, his heart stops.

“I’m transgender, Jack.”

 Yeah, I’ve got mine too…

 “You’re...trans?” Jack fails epically at trying to keep the shock out of his voice, and he can only hope he hasn’t already scared Alex back into his (her?) shell.

There’s a pause as Alex sniffles and wipes away tears. “Yeah...I’m trans.”

“As in male-to-female?”

Alex nods. “I’ve been trying to figure it out for a while, and I think I’ve finally come to terms with myself and who I am. Like, I knew consciously that God was okay with me being...you know...a girl...but with the way the church tries to convince us otherwise, I couldn’t make myself be okay with it. I still don’t know if I’m really comfortable with this whole thing yet, but I couldn’t keep it a secret any longer, and when I made the decision somehow it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, like I could finally stand tall and proud again. This...this is me, and I thought my family would be happy for me. They’ve always been so supportive of everything and everyone and for them to not be alright with this - not be alright with me -” her voice catches in her throat and she suddenly finds it impossible to meet Jack’s now shining eyes, “They started paying Pastor Myers to our house every day to ‘convert’ me, Jack. No matter how many times I tell them I’m not broken or that I don’t want to change who I am, they refuse to listen. They think they know better and that this is something that can be cured with a few days of prayer. I can’t go back there, Jack. Please.” Alex’s voice has gone from being shrouded in fear to dripping with desperation. Given the fact that Jack hasn’t thrown her out of his house yet, or even withdrawn his arms from her body, she has to believe that he’s at the very least tolerant of the “transgender lifestyle,” as her parents had begun to call it.

“Alex,” Jack breathes, allowing his head to bend forward and rest on Alex’s shoulder. He hopes she can’t feel the hot tears coursing down his cheeks. “Of course you can stay here. You’re an adult, and my parents would love to have you.”

At the mention of parents, Alex’s breath falters. “But won’t they be upset with me, too? Our parents are best friends...don’t you think they would agree on something like this?”

Jack just barely allows laughter to bubble past his lips into the crook of Alex’s neck. “I have a second cousin who’s trans, and my parents were the first to congratulate him on coming out. You’ll have to remind me to introduce you to him sometime. His name’s Rian and he’s the best drummer you’ll ever meet. Not to mention my parents practically threw me a party when I came out to them.”

Now, Alex practically forces them apart so she can look Jack in the face and search for any signs of deception. “You had to come out?”

Smiles are being planted on both of the teens’ faces as Jack responds. “Yeah, I came out to my family about a year ago. I haven’t really told anyone because...well, you see why. But I’m bisexual, in case you were wondering.” Alex is quiet, unsure of how to answer. Jack seems to get it, though, not prodding her for her new opinions forming about Jack. He remembers after he came out, even though it was received well, the last thing he wanted to do was “talk about it.” By the time he had worked up the courage to be open about his sexuality, it was old news to him, a part of his personality that didn’t require any more discussion than any other aspect of himself.

 I don’t care about what you did, I only care about what we do…

 “You’re soaking wet.” Jack continues when it’s clear Alex is letting the conversation on that particular topic die. He lets her go and purposely ignores the pout Alex gives in response. “Hang here a second.” he says, running upstairs towards his bedroom.

When Jack returns a minute later, Alex has just barely managed to get on her feet. Jack holds out a bundle of pink and white cloth, leading her to raise an eyebrow. “Here. These are some of May’s older clothes. I don’t think she wears them anymore, and they might be a little tight on you, but they should fit. I thought even though we’re the same size, given the situation, you might be more comfortable in them.” Jack explains, practically forcing them into Alex’s arms.

Alex’s tears had been beginning to taper off, but this gesture does nothing but bring them back full force. This time, she is the one to initiate the hug between the two. She lets the clothes fall between them as she practically squeezes the breath out of her favorite person in the entire world. Cringing every time a whimper or sob escapes her mouth, she buries her head into Jack’s shoulder until she can find her self-control.

“Are you okay, Alex?” Jack whispers as the cries quiet down again.

The pause lasts so long that just before he gets an answer, he begins to think Alex didn’t hear him. “Would you mind if I asked you to call me something different?” The girl asks hesitantly. Even though she’s right there, Jack still has to strain to hear her. “I know Alex is a gender neutral name and all, but whenever I hear my name, I always want it to be more...feminine, I guess. I think it might have something to do with gender dysphoria, personally.” She rambles on longer than necessary. Jack thinks it might be because she’s afraid of the answer she’ll get.

In response, Jack tightens his own grip in the embrace. “Just tell me what you want to be called, and I’ll try my best to remember.” Even though he’s trying to be nothing but supportive, he can tell his best friend is still holding back. She’s stiff in his arms, the nervousness and stress keeping her strung tight. “Something else is bothering you.” He murmurs.

She shrugs, not even trying to deny it. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s my job as your best friend to worry about everything that makes you upset. Please, talk to me.”

“Jack…” She warns, but he refuses to back down.

“Whatever you think is going to upset me, it won’t. I want to help you, Alex; I want to be here for you but I can’t if you don’t let me.”

Jack just knows that Alex bites her lip before she answers. “That’s it, though. This whole thing...I’m going to change, Jack. I’m going to change a lot. I don’t like who I am, plain and simple. This is a chance to recreate myself. And what if,” her voice catches in her throat. “What if when I do change, you don’t want to be here for me? What if I become so different that you don’t like me anymore?”

“That’s not going to happen.” Jack scoffs. The idea that he would ever not care about Alex is absolutely absurd in his mind.

“You don’t know that!” Her voice rises.

“Yes, I do.” Jack soothes. He cuts her off when she opens her mouth again. “Shut up and let me talk.” Alex rolls her eyes, but allows him to continue uninterrupted. “Nothing you do is going to change who you are to me. You’re my favorite person in the world, okay? I literally couldn’t care less about your gender. I don’t care what your parents or my parents or the church or even God says. All that matters to me is that you’re safe and happy. And besides, it’s not like because you realizing you’re trans affects your personality. You’re still the same person I met when we were five who taught me my first English swear words. You’ll just wear thongs instead of boxers.”

Alex isn’t really sure why the end of Jack’s speech surprises her so much. His sense of humor has always been on the innappropriate side. Holding back her laughter, she slaps his back where her hands had been resting previously. “You’re an idiot.”

“Yeah, too bad you’re stuck with me, especially after that amazingly heartfelt speech.” He brags. Even though he’s joking, Alex can hear the sincerity in them. Jack’s told her he’s not going anywhere anytime soon, and despite her insecurities, she decides not to fight him. “And now that that’s been settled, you can tell me what I should start calling you.”

He can feel Alex smile against his shirt. “I don’t want to make it even harder for people than it already is, so I was thinking something simple like Alexis or Alexandria. What do you think?”

The boy can’t help but feel excited by his best friend’s excitement. “I like whichever you like best. I do have to say I might be a little partial to Alexandria, though. It’s prettier and less common. Most girls with that name just go by Alex, anyways.”

Lifting her head, Alexandria nods in agreement. “Alexandria it is, then.” She replies, smiling in satisfaction.

 Dirty laundry...looks good on you.

 “I should probably change. We’ll both get pneumonia if I wear this for much longer and you continue to hug me like this.” She laughs, pointing out the fact that Jack has yet to remove his hands from around her waist.

Jack shrugs, joining in on her happiness. “Worth it.” He pulls her even closer to him for emphasis.

“But if we’re both sick, who’s going to take care of me?” Alexandria whines, putting a hand over her forehead as if she’s about to faint.

“May makes the best chicken soup, I swear. If I pout for long enough, I’m pretty sure I could even get her to spoon-feed us. What more than that do you need?”

“Hmm,” Alexandria pretends to think. “I guess there is nothing more important than a good bowl of chicken soup…” She allows herself to relax again in Jack’s arms.

“You’re exactly right. All we’ll have to do is hang out in my room and watch some of those musicals you love.” Alexandria introduced the first musical she ever fell in love with, Hairspray, to Jack when they were in seventh grade. Since then, it’s a tradition for them to watch musicals together, even though Alexandria quotes every word of them verbatim and Jack pretends to hate every second of them, although he sings nearly every tune under his breath.

At the mention of a musical, Alexandria’s eyes go alight. “Oooh, can we watch Heathers again? We haven’t seen it in ages!”

“Only if you sing the duet with me in Dead Girl Walking!” Jack winks.

It may only be a joke when Jack says it, but when Alexandria replies with a sultry “you got it, J.D.,” and gives him a quick kiss, Jack sends up a prayer that Alexandria changes out of her wet, clingy clothes before they both reach his room.

The lyrics to Dead Girl Walking from Heathers the musical, in which Jack would be JD and Alex(andria) is Veronica in this instance.

[burmecianblackmage]

Today marks this blogs third anniversary

Time sure flies, huh? Who’d have thought that what started out as a small little idea way back when would eventually grow to become such a grand and complex character, with a long and detailed backstory and even a very important NPC spawning off said story?

I sure didn’t.

To be quite honest, I was back then not sure whether or not Sceada would ever catch a hold in the rp community, and there have been periods where it felt like his foothold was vanishing, but he endured, and now I am still here after 3 years. And you know what?

None of that would have been possible without you guys.

A roleplay character and his story are, if you ask me, to an extent also only as good as their partners make them. The growth of a character comes through interaction, and without partners there simply is none. And with them, you sometimes don’t know just which way they might push your muse to develop - ain’t that the most exciting part about this our hobby?

So, in order to honor these three exciting, heartwarming (and heartbreaking at times), dramatic and simply awesome years, I wish to honor the people that made it possible!

~~~~ My dear friends ~~~~

@burmecias-protector

It seems fitting to start with you, cause after all, you were the very first person to ever give this blog a chance and play with me. And quite frankly? You never stopped being my go to person when it is about Burmecia and it’s inhabitants. You helped me shape my backstory and headcanons, allowed me to make your Freya a part of them somewhat by acknowledging the characters it introduced and their connection to her, and what I appreciate by far the most, even three years in you still play with me every now and then.

Thank you so much for everything. I know we may not converse much outside of rp but I still feel I got to know you a bit over the years and so I also want to say that I think you’re a great person and someone people greatly enjoy having for a friend. Stay awesome, and may your endeavors be crowned with success!

(Also, I’m still “sorry” for throwing Skadi at you like that, but I love what a good sport you’ve been about it and wanna thank you for dealing with her! I promise, she’ll eventually be less obnoxious)

@containyourmainposure

Oh Gwenny, if I were to list all the nice things I can say about you, I’d probably need a separate post just for you. You’re such a warm and kind person and you’re never afraid to voice your opinion, and I really admire that. And the same goes for the big changes you’ve made in your life, I am both so very happy for you and proud of you for making that leap, and at the same time a bit envious. Maybe one day I’ll have that strength too.

And your Leonora, my, she’s just such a wonderful sweetheart, I cannot fathom how one could not adore her. Reading you write her is not only a pleasure, no, it has also fundamentaly changed my perception of her when I replay TAY - I gotta admit, I at first considered her to be a bit boring in game, but I see now that I was mistaken, and not just because of how much depth you gave her. By now Leonora has actually become part of my extended list of favorites, and I feel you are to credit for that.

I always adore our plays, and am a bit sad to see them having become so scarce lately. Not only Sceada misses you and Leonora, I do too. I understand why the situation currently is as it is and let me assure you, it’s okay, but allow me at the same time to say that yes, I do miss these plays. And we don’t even need to go into detail about how much Sceada misses the sunshine to his rain... My poor lovesick fool. So I really hope that the day will come when we can play more often again. Until then, please stay as wonderful as you are and may you continue to succeed in all you do! You deserve all the happiness.

@artemisxbow

Maria oh Maria - no, I’m not gonna break into signing the opera from FF VI right now, behave Patrick - it feels like I’ve known you forever, though we only met through Pledged Prelude back in the day, and only rarely really spoke outside of plays. Curious how that sometimes goes, huh? But be that as it may, yours is a presence on my dashboard that I wouldn’t want to miss. I really adore your style of writing, the way you picture a scene and how you describe Maria and her inner struggles. I know out plays tend to get quite slow, curtesy of both our lives, but by the gods they are always, always worth waiting for. And seeing a reply after a long time has more than once felt like an exciting little present waiting to be unwrapped and discovered. Really, I love writing with you.

And Sceada is not in the least against it either. After all, if you would ask him who his closest friend is, who would he name other than Maria? He cares deeply for her and wants her to be happy, and he will never forget the kindness she showed him back in the day. I feel these two have a nice chemistry together, one of understanding and respect, and I shall with joy await just how that will develop over time. I for one hope that they both can learn to open up more to each other, both could really use it. But in the end, that’s not really up to us, right?

That said! I’ll also never forget the wonderful dynamic we had going when you played Victoria for a while, and she befriended Sceada, planning to use him for her own goals and played him. How he struggled with the path he saw her lay open for him to walk and it’s consequences, and last but definitely not least, their epic confrontation. Ah, good times...

Anyhow... what I want to say is Thank you Maria, for being such a consistent presence in my little Sceada’s life and for the many plays and deep conversations our muses shared. I shall gladly look forward for more to come, and I hope you do too. And who knows just where they’ll take us, hmm? ;)

@burmecianknight

Ah, Calisto... It’s been well over a year since you last graced our dashboards and we got to enjoy your presence, but don’t think that I’ve forgotten about you! Back in the days when I got to play with you it was always fun seeing your writing and the few threads we had always felt a bit special. I dunno why... but for Sceada you somehow felt like a sister, or probably what he would imagine it to feel like.

Kinda curious that it never occured to me back then that maybe they could be a ship, what with her being the only female Burmecian in his age group that he knew... - who knows if that would have worked though xD

Either way... I know you might not read this but if you do? I’d like you to know that I’m thankful for the time we played together and the plays we shared. And should you ever feel like returning? I will gladly play with you again right away.

@sharlayanmistress

My dear lady Minfilia, how long has it been? Too long. So I know you may not get to see this for a long time - if at all. But sadly that too is the nature of roleplaying, over time we are bound to say goodbye to many a player we liked.

You’ve been one such player for me. My Eorzea verse was pretty much centered on you, even thoug that was not the original intention. But Sceada felt so safe in her company and understood too, that actually she is to this day the only person who has seen his mark. Unbelieveable, right? But for him she was one he could trust - and apparently, he for her too. And I really liked that.

It is a pity that the canon story ended up ruining your muse for her, alongside your real life. I understand how you feel though, yet still... I’d have loved to play with you more. You had a very nice writing style. Maybe one day again. Maybe on another blog. Only time will tell.

@ladyofgentlebreezes

First things first: I always have and I still do love the concept of your Garuda. What with her memory loss and her Garuda-Egi trying to whisper into her ears - I found that briliant. But I also liked her personality. The sometimes shy, sometimes insecure she displayed, along with her kindness... She was a sweetheart with a troubled mind, and by the gods can Sceada relate to that. He truly wanted to help her and understand her.

And who knows, maybe even more could have come of it, we had some intriguing prompts that never failed to make me smile. I suppose we’ll never know.

But be that as it may... I wanna still say thank you Garuda, for you were a partner I adored and I always enjoyed your writing of your muse. I’d have loved to play more with you, but alas it wasn’t meant to be. Still I’ll always be grateful for the time we shared as rp partners.

@thepricewasright

Locke Cole! Boy, what a pity it is that we have not yet been able to play more. I always liked your muse in the games, and you play him so faithfully! And no, I don’t mean the fact that just like Locke you sometimes come and go ;) But really, jokes aside, I really like the way you play him, and even before we started playing I’ve enjoyed reading you on my dash.

And to think of the possibilities our muses have, the potential scenarios that might yet unfold! I’m so very eager to explore them and truly hope we get to do so one day. I mean, it’s not often that Sceada gets to have a “rival” so to speak, though we both know that their rivalry would be unneeded as their beloved loves them both. And the notion of them adventuring together! Whether it is pursuing some legends or rumors, or even looking for that cure, I feel these two can become quite close if things go well.

So, uhm, yeah. What I wanna say is, I’m very excited to play with you and I hope we get to do so again soon. I like the way you write and your presence on my dash, and I’d like to thank you for playing with me. May we have more fun plays to come! Or angst, muahahaha....

@ladyoflindblum

Did you know that ever since I first came across your blog I’ve been wanting to play with you? I’ve always adored Eiko, and your adult take on her is delightfully refreshing. I also fondly remember that time we both individually had the same headcannon, and how the idea still lives on on your blog. The concept of it will probably never stop interesting me.

And well, we did play. But for the longest time, it was only small interactions in groups, some even in distinct verses and so they never really met in their main verses. Until we started a thread over a year ago - and then life got in the way.

When you recently came to me and said you’d love to play together again, I was delighted - and surprised. Reviving the old thread? I’ve never had that happen before, but you know what? I love the idea. Especially since the setting’s so nice for these two to meet a first time proper! And you can bet I’m excited to see where this will go. So thank you, thank you a lot for returning and still being interested in this mine little creation!

@avaliantqueen

I’ve always liked Garnet (though for me she’ll always be Lilli, her german pseudonym) and so when I found your beautifully written take on her I could not help but want to play with you. But unfortunately, we somehow never got over the starter and maybe a reply or two before they died down. I gotta admit I still don’t know why... - but it is what it is. Maybe I’ll try again in the days to come, we’ll see ;)

What I can say here though is that the Mun here, Asuka, yeah? She’s an absolute sweetheart. And very talented. Seriously, have you seen her videos or her cosplay of Garnet? I am time and time again in awe when I see her works. Also, she is very kind and likes to help people, and is not afraid to stand up for those she holds dear, which I find quite admireable. So yeah... you keep on being your impressive self, you hear me? 

@beyondtheflyingbird

Mary! Have I ever told you what an absolute sweetheart you are? Well, yes, I know I have, but don’t think that’ll stop me from doing so again! Because really, you are such a nice and caring person! I still dearly remember talking to you when things were really rough for me and you even went so far as to offer me an alternative, a path out. I couldn’t take it back then, but I will never forget just how much it meant to me that someone cared so much. I know we haven’t spoken all that much in the past year because life has a tendency to get in the way, but I still feel that if things went extremely downhill and I needed someone to talk, you’d have my back - and I want you to know that I’d have yours, anytime.

Also, it’s so refreshing sometimes to just be able to talk with someone in your native language xD

That said, now that you recently returned I’m really hoping that we get to play together again! I love your Garnet and I especially loved her caring nature in certain threads and prompts. And you’re so full of great ideas! Like when I sent in that Kiss in the Rain thing and instead of just going small with a smooch or such in a rainy city, you had it have an emotional build up, a deep sadness over what was lost and a kiss meant to comfort an aching soul standing in the ruins of what once was his homeland - just how amazing is that? Seriously Mary, I’d love to play with you again, it’d be both an honor and a pleasure.

@sunny-explosions

Selphie is at times bubbly, usually quite cheerful, sometimes a bit too friendly - and eerily fond of blowing things up - and you convey that perfectly my dear! I always enjoy seeing you on the dash, and often can’t help sending in memes or prompts - even if my own muse is at times upset with me because of the results. And we’re still trying to whip up an actual, bigger thread so here’s hoping!

@feralstriike

Ah, the lovely Fran! We have had the pleasure of some small threads a few times so far, and I gotta admit I always liked the dynamic we had between our two not-quite-standard-human Muses. Fran is a mystery and apparently enjoys that fact, and if Sceada is one thing then it is fascinated by mysteries. I was always curious how they’d get along, and as we saw from some of the older threads they could well have become friends - and hey, who knows? Seeing how you came back a while ago, maybe that is still a possibility.

Either way though, I quite like your writing and I enjy seeing you pop up on my dash every now and then.

@briidunviing

Brii, I know we haven’t played much yet. We have that one thread, and a short thing from a prompt, and that’s it. And I also know that you more often than not feel your replies don’t live up to mine. Now... let me tell you something..

That is not the case.

Brii, you write your character well and convey what she feels or goes through clearly enough. You have an unique writng style, which sets you apart from others and on top of that your muse is quite the interesting concept. So believe me when I say that it is all fine, okay? Don’t worry about your roleplaying. Aren’t you, like most of us I believe, rp-ing because you enjoy it? Because it helps distract you, focus on something else for a while?

Also I’m so sorry about everything you have to deal with irl. I wish I could do more than just talk to help you but sadly, I cannot. So at the very least... allow me to offer you an open ear whenever your need one. To qoute one of my all-time favorite scenes in FF history: You Are Not Alone. Okay?

@dancing-dagger

I’ve been following you for a while already, but I don’t think we ever had much interaction before, which is a pity. I’ve quite liked both your Leila and Milleuda for some time now, but found myself struggling to find a way to initiate interaction. And then Sceada decides he wants to send that prompt in. Boy oh boy, did that turn out in an interesting way... I’m honestly quite curious whether we’ll continue with it, and just where it’ll go - depending on the result Leila will truly steal something from him xD

But either way, I’d love to get to know her and/or Milleuda better and interact with them, so I’ll try to come up with something for at least one of them! 

@the-shadow-of-a-wielder

You know, it’s kinda weird. I’ve known you and your muse for but a short time now, our first actual interaction having been the advent calendar I had made. And look at it now: We’ve been talking quite a lot, Amina has become a close ally to Sceada in the group verse and we’ve even discussed possible ways for it to extend beyond the group should the need arise. Granted, the fine tuning between our muses needs improvement yet, but I feel it works fine between us Muns, don’t you agree? And there is absolutely no denying that Amina is an interesting OC, so yeah... I’m really looking forward to continuing our plays^^

@losteidolon

Now we’ve barely known each other for a few days now, but when I stumbled over your OC I almost cried from joy. A FF9 OC! Well written! Interesting concept! And active! - Honestly, from my experience those are rare to come by! I am very excited to see just how our two OCs will get along - even though that one prompt already was a bad start in Sceada’s eyes. This is not how he likes to meet people xD

@colourfulvirtuoso and @elderinwhite

You two I’ve only recently started interacting with, but I have so far really enjoyed it! You have lovely writing styles and from what I can tell so far some nice ideas, so I am truly looking forward to playing more with you as time goes on!

I’d also like to give a big thanks to the groups I was part of in these 3 years, for I met many a wonderful person in them and enjoyed many an interesting and fun play thanks to them. So thank you Pledged Prelude @pledgedprelude, Crystathereum @crystathereum, Fate Cipher, Crowned Reveries and Crested Fantasia @crestedfantasia, it’s been a pleasure being part of you!

And lastly, I also want to thank my lovely girlfriend @pandoragu. We may have never actually played together on this account, with her Melly usually dealingwith my Kamiizumi, but she has helped shape this muse immensely in the two and a half years we’ve been a couple. Several ideas and headcanons have been bounced off her and adapted, leading to my Sceada’s backstory becoming more and more fleshed out, turning him into who he is today. Even if he himself does not yet know wholly who he is... So yeah, thank you my dear, for all your help with my little fool. I love you.

And that’s it! Thank you everyone for 3 great years! May many more plots and shenanigans  and threads come to life through our words! May we always find someone willing to listen to us and support us.

Thank You.

Patrick~