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raisedbythetv89 · 1 year

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Ok ooooook OK SO.

Spike was literally made for Buffy because he was made for and by Drusilla, and Buffy and Dru are the same person:

Innocent, kind-hearted young girls, with special gifts that cause them to carry more guilt/burden than others and they are used/abused/traumatized by angelus/angel, then neglected and abandoned, with Spike being there to pick up the pieces and nurture, care for, and love them the best he can to help them move past their angel trauma (which is actually an impossible task with Drusilla because of the sire aspect but isn’t with Buffy)

WHICH is why I believe William’s first act as a vampire was to try and save his mother. He was literally created to be Dru’s knight. Not only her protector but her healer. Which is why his first instinct when it should be all about blood lust is instead, to heal his mother who he still loves even as a vampire. I mean even Dru, a certified nutcase, is like you wanna do WHAT?!?! When Spike tells her his plan to save his mom😹

This is also why I believe angel trying to mold Spike into his image never really took or rather Spike was able to break free from it. Angel was created by darla for the intent of death, torment and destruction.

Spike was created to care for and love Dru. Which required an OBSCENE amount of patience, determination, humility, and love of a challenge. Which is why he was so intrigued by slayers, another seemingly impossible task - but the joy/fun was in the TRYING, the thrill of the unknown and the unpredictability of it all. Which are all the traits he needed to be there for both Dru and Buffy while also ensuring he never gives up on them as long as they want him there, and then some lol.

IM FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS

Because also this is soooooo not where I planned on going with this but “I was made to love you” episode title is now drawing in the connection of, is this why Spike didn’t initially see the problem with the Buffy-Bot until he saw the reaction of Buffy herself who often acts as his moral compass as he relearns what is “good” after 100+ years living by vamp code because him AS A HUMAN, in his vulnerable, dejected and devastated state was killed and made into a vampire for the sole purpose of loving and caring for Drusilla selflessly, without regard for himself, much like the bots were!! So why would he see the harm in creating something like that for himself when no one was going to die in the process and it meant he could stop fixating in the real buffy? Both of which to a vamp who’s only been trying to live by human morals again for like 14 episodes vs 120 years with NO help just trial and erroring his way through becoming a white hat which his starting point is “I would like credit for not taking advantage of bleeding disaster victims” and “what do you mean building a shrine to show how deep my devotion is and chaining you up, offering to kill my ex, and forcing you to talk to me and admit your feelings aren’t the way to do this??” 😹😹😹 like he gets it so wrong, it’s comical in season 5 because he truly is so earnest about all of it because while yes it is all for a chance with Buffy, he genuinely wants to be better for her so he can earn that chance. As he says to Riley “a fellas gotta try” after saying he doesn’t think he has a chance with her.

He was an Eleanore who desperately needed his Chidi. Which Buffy is his moral compass but she ends up being a “let them fail/push them into the deep end” kind of guide. So he makes A LOT of mistakes along the way as many of us often do in general but especially those of us who were raised by abusive parents; who in our adulthood, have to learn to discern what is healthy vs abusive to be a good person to both yourself and others and be in actual healthy relationships with boundaries and respect with zero practical experience or good instincts to go on.

NONE of this excuses any harm that Spike causes at all. That is not the point of this to say “oh he didn’t really do bad”, no he did. Spike caused a lot of harm but this perspective that I’ve finally been able to put into words is why none of the harm ends up being a deal breaker for me and many spuffys because it puts his choices in the right perspective which is not that of a human even though he looks like one a lot of the time.

Spike pre-soul, making the mistakes he makes isn’t the same as a human or a vamp with a human soul making the mistakes because he doesn’t have his human soul motivating and informing the decisions he makes. It really mimics different cultures in a lot of ways as anya really demonstrates during her wedding with all her talk of demon culture and tradition (and her own struggles to assimilate into the human world again and she HAS a human soul and xander to help her) and the initiative being VERY n*zi coded and Riley being called a bigot because he is ignorant to much of demonology. So un-souled spike has a more potential for forgiveness of his mistakes than human soul havers because he is always genuinely TRYING to do right by Buffy even when he gets it horribly wrong. And the characters in the show always hold him accountable and make him feel TERRIBLE for the mistakes he makes.

Why does he have such potential for forgiveness you ask? The best example is to think of the concept of someone trying to assimilate themselves into a new culture. We can’t expect them to blend right in perfectly and get all the culture norms right, right away (again -anya-but also a real life example - when I travel in Italy and catch up with friends there I STILL always stumble and forget they’re always gonna go in for a double cheek kiss greeting - pre covid anyway - and I KNOW it’s a thing but if I’m out of practice it takes me a while to start greeting people that way again and it makes for some AWKWARD ENCOUNTERS until I get it down😹). It takes time, and normally guidance and patience from others that spike honestly doesn’t often have except in the form of being yelled at or beat up until he gets his soul. But his willingness to TRY anyways despite failure, rejection, ridicule and cruelty. How can I not love him?? He is me, I am him!! I was also met with so much unhelpful criticism and cruelty when I was just trying to learn and do a good job.

Both as someone who is autistic and didn’t know it for a lot of life; I too felt like I was blundering through without a guide or a rule book and I was sure I was making mistakes because people would get upset but I had NO help identifying what exactly I did wrong or what to do instead. So I knew I was messing up but had to keep guessing and trying anyway and getting it wrong again and again!

And as someone raised by an emotionally distant/abusive narcissist, navigating healthy relationships became even MORE difficult and I made a lot of bad choices along the way that landed me in some awful relationships much like what spike and Buffy devolve into towards the end of season 6 because both of them are up stream without a paddle when it comes to healthy relationships, healthy coping mechanisms, and communication. They know pain, avoidance, fighting, torment, and ecstasy from always living in extremes and life or death situations (notice Buffy struggles the most in the season with no threat of the apocalypse until the last two episodes - season 6 - which is SO common for people with trauma, you really fall apart when things are low stakes)

It’s why the tenderness and gentleness of season 7 means SO MUCH. Both of them experiencing these tiny pockets of true peace with each other after everything they’ve been through individually and together. Experiencing true peace like we see from them is one of the hardest things to accomplish if you have severe trauma.

I’m always really happy when I can digest these complex themes enough to communicate why I love them so much and why they’re so important to me. The fact that this show had so much in-fighting amongst the writers and misogynists trying to make spike pathetic and accidentally making him one of the most complex characters, plus episodes based specifically on neurodivergent/queer peoples’ traumatic coming of age experiences because the parallels are SO strong there no way they’re not lol. This all means I can probably spend the rest of my life dissecting the layers of this show and learning about myself in the process and always find something new 🙃🙃🙃 and clearly I love all aspects of spuffy so god damn much as they each embody a big part of my life experiences in so many beautiful yet tragic ways.

#spuffy #buffy the vampire slayer #btvs #spike and buffy #spike and drusilla #spike btvs #buffy and spike #meta #spuffy meta #sprusilla meta

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sassyandclassy94 · 4 years

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“Secrets, Lies, and Blessings” A SwanFire FanFic

Chapter 12

~Thirteen and a half months ago~

Today was Emma’s birthday and she was now officially a seventeen-year-old young lady and because of the events and castle festivities of the day, she was exhausted. She didn’t know why her parents always threw her a party each year; interacting with the royals and nobles from the surrounding kingdoms while putting on a polite and happy smile was not really her idea of fun. However, out of respect for her parents, (more so her mother… she was pretty sure her father secretly felt the same as she did about royal festivities - he was just better at doing the whole concealment thing than she was) she pretended that she loved it. Regardless of her emotional masquerade though, the event always left her feeling both physically and mentally drained. To think that she’d be the next queen someday! And if she couldn’t handle this, then… she quickly shook the terrifying thought from her mind. However, as exhausted as she felt, she was not going to let that ruin this night’s special plan, one which she was genuinely looking forward to, for it meant seeing Baelfire again.

Emma’s waiting lady entered her room that night expecting to help her ready for bed but instead, there was Emma standing in front of her mirror looking like she was getting herself all freshened up. Emma knew that she wasn’t fooled and knew that she disapproved immediately.

Emma ignored her waiting lady’s disapproving stare. “Ah! Eleanor! Help me straighten up my hair, would you?” She was trying (and failing) to gather her hair into an elegant but also casual half-up do -- poor Emma… she was good at many things but sadly, doing her own hair wasn’t one of them and she needed help with it every time -- even with the simplest of dos like this one. Eleanor ambled over to Emma and fixed her hair to how she wanted it -- rather effortlessly Emma noticed, feeling a twinge of envy. “And to answer your unspoken question,” she answered impatiently, “yes, I am going somewhere.” She glanced in the mirror to see if Eleanor would react with a face. She didn’t, much to Emma’s surprise. Instead, she uttered a quiet sigh as she finished the last details in her mistress’ hair. “Going to see Baelfire I presume?”

“Yes!” Emma smiled happily as she spun around. “We’re due to meet any minute now.” She paused briefly to smooth out her dress. “Do I look okay?”

Eleanor did a once-over with her eyes. “You look very pretty…” she assured.

Emma blushed and smiled. “Thanks…”

“You’re going to be careful, right?”

Emma gave her a side-long glance of disdain as she went for her cloak. “I always am, aren’t I?”

Eleanor shot her a sort of motherly look of skepticism. “You know what I mean.”

“Oh,” Emma rolled her eyes. “You’re not my mother and you don’t have to worry about me, Eleanor.”

**********

As she reached the forest, she was surprised to see Baelfire waiting for her so close to the castle grounds -- she hoped that he’d stay just inside the forest to lessen his chances of being seen. “Bae!” she wrapped her arms around his neck as she greeted him. “What are you doing this close to the castle?”

“Waiting for you of course! Happy birthday, Em!” He bent to kiss her but she gently pushed him away.

“Well, I know that, but practically on the grounds?!” she brushed an imaginary object off of his tunic before she looked back up at him. “One of Daddy’s guards could have seen you…”

“But they didn’t…” he leaned in to kiss her again and this time, Emma let him.

“Alright,” she said as she returned his kiss. “I’ll let it go I guess, as long as you’re more careful next time.”

He mumbled a reply before quickly pulling away after her returned kiss, gently grabbing her hand. “C’mon!” He eagerly pulled her in a direction they had never headed before and Emma quickly became curious.

“Where are we going?” her tone reflected her curiosity and Baelfire took a brief pause to deliver a kiss to her temple.

“It’s a surprise!” He excitedly exclaimed, still holding onto her hand and Emma half-giggled.

“I told you, Bae, my birthday isn’t a big deal and you didn’t need to do anything - I’m not even a significant age yet…” Baelfire only shook his head at her response as he continued to lead her to the so-called surprise destination and the further they walked, the more excited she grew.

A little more time wore on before they came to a little cottage grown over with weeds and vines, and even though it was a sight, Emma thought it looked rather… romantic. She studied it for a moment and shivered slightly in the brisk air. “Is this where you live?”

Baelfire noticed her shivering and quickly removed his cloak and wrapped it around her shoulders. “Oh, no!” he exclaimed. “Papa’s cottage is alot bigger and fancier than this… No, this is just a place I found a few years back that I end up going to when I need to get away.”

Emma nodded in understanding as she pulled Baelfire’s cloak closer to her body. “I see. So it’s an escape then? Like riding Esmeralda is for me?”

“Yeah I guess it is,” he answered slowly.”A lot of the times I come here to just draw; it’s quiet and I don’t think anyone even knows it exists.”

“Ah.”

“And uh… you are the first person I’ve…” he nervously cleared his throat. “You’re the only other person who knows this place exists…”

Emma turned her head to study him for a moment before she smiled thoughtfully; then, lifting her chin up, she said “Are you trying to say, Master Baelfire, that I am the first lady you’ve ever brought here?” Her tone came across as joking but she was indeed serious; she glanced at Baelfire and saw that he was blushing.

“First and only…” he answered shyly and Emma, extremely happy with his answer, went in to embrace him, burying her fingers into his hair while he returned her embrace with a tight squeeze around her middle. He felt so warm and she noticed that he smelled rather fresh -- not his normal smell of sheep and straw -- she wondered if he cleaned up just for her birthday.

“You wanna come in?” he broke from their embrace and gestured to the door of the cottage and Emma eagerly nodded in reply. He stepped to open the door and stood back, allowing Emma to enter first. “Ladies first…” he grinned and Emma giggled.

“How chivalrous of you.” she responded with a shake of her head and stepped inside the cottage, with Baelfire right behind her, followed by a ‘Please, sit.’ She took a seat in a chair next to a rather simple table and looked around, taking in her new surroundings. It was old, obviously, the air heavy with memories; it smelled of stone and dirt and dampness, yet maintaining a coziness -- or at least she thought it was cozy; perhaps she only found it cozy because of the company she was sharing. Yes, that was probably it.

Baelfire immediately headed for the fireplace and started the fire and once it was going strong he turned back around to Emma. “You warm enough?” he made his way back to her.

“Yes.” Emma pulled his cloak closer to her body as Bae sat down next to her.

“Good.” he answered with a grin and then started to reach for his pocket. “I - I actually have a little something for you,” he began, a hint of nervousness in his voice.

“Oh? What is it?” she asked excitedly, inching a bit closer to him.

He reached inside his pocket. “Papa sent me on an errand a while back and I came across this and thought of you and that maybe you’d like it…” he pulled out a chain with a round pendant hanging off of it and Emma uttered a gasp, placing her hands over her mouth before she eagerly took it from him; she studied it in her palm and immediately noticed that there was something engraved in the pendant, a swan of all things, and her heart instantly melted.

“Oh… Bae.” she traced the pendant with her index finger with Baelfire watching her anxiously. “I love it!!” She hopped out of her chair to embrace him, the cloak sliding from her shoulders to the floor, and squished his head between her hand and her lips as she kissed his cheek in genuine gratitude.

Baelfire grinned bashfully. “Em, it’s… really not that big of a deal---” he protested, his ecstatic sweetheart still kissing and squishing up his face.

“Oh but it is!” Emma finally released him and pulled away after giving him another quick kiss.

“It’s pewter…” he added, glancing nervously at the floor. “It’s seriously nothing fancy.”

Emma delivered a swat to his shoulder. “Stop that! It may be pewter but who cares? It’s the thought that always counts! It’s beautiful and I love the swan engravement…” she studied it once more, delicately tracing the intricate little swan in the middle of the pendant with her index finger. “This is the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever given me,” she lifted her eyes and brought her gaze back to Baelfire then raised her hand to lovingly caress his cheek. “I absolutely love it.” Bae leaned in to kiss her but she suddenly stood up and turned her back to him.

“Could you help me?” she held out the ends of the necklace to him from behind and after he grabbed them she gathered up her hair, revealing the bare skin on the back of her neck and for a moment, Bae found himself staring… Her skin was so fair, and looked so soft... He couldn’t help but wonder if her skin was also as soft as it looked. Emma then repeated her request, causing him to snap back into reality.

“Right! Of course...” He finally clasped the chain and she let go of her hair, letting it go back to how it was, flowing gracefully down her back. Then she turned back around, fixing her hair so that some strands rested over her shoulders.

“So? How does it look?” she held the pendant between her fingers for a moment before she removed them, unintentionally letting her hand fall slowly down her bosom - she looked so pretty in the firelight. She kept her eyes on Baelfire, anticipating his response and noticed that he was suddenly speechless. She blushed and repeated her question and he swallowed before he finally answered.

“You look… absolutely stunning.”

Emma glanced at the floor, slightly blushing again. “I meant the necklace…” she looked back up at him and he met her gaze with his own.

He was suddenly noticing just how pretty she was done up tonight -- not that he hadn’t noticed her beauty before, he had… oh had he noticed… but tonight, tonight she looked especially pretty in her simple forest green kirtle and the way it accentuated her lovely feminine figure, her casual but elegant hairstyle-- she really did look like a goddess… he started to wonder-- but then quickly forced the thought from his head. No, it was wrong to think such things about Emma and the last thing he ever wanted to do was disrespect her in any way—even if it was only in thought. He then realized that he hadn’t answered her yet. “It looks amazing…” he finally said

Emma beamed at him and wrapped her arms around him again, this time burying her face in his shoulder. She took in his scent as they continued to hug one another. “I love you so much…”

“I love you, too.” he delivered a tighter squeeze as he answered her.

“I’m never taking it off you know.” she added as she finally broke their embrace and Baelfire chuckled. “You don’t care if your parents see it?” they both returned to the chairs they were sitting in prior to Emma receiving her necklace.

Emma shrugged. “I’ll just say I bought it on one of my trips to the market with my waiting lady; they’ll never give it a thought.” she looked from her pendant to Baelfire and shot him a curious smile. “Also, I have to know… did you bathe just for me? Because I noticed when we first got here that you smelled rather fresh.”

“Are you saying I smell bad normally??”

She giggled at his mock display of offense. “Not at all, silly! But right now I’m saying you you smell good.”

“Uh huh, sure.” He crossed his arms in mock disapproval and Emma’s giggles erupted into full-fledged laughter that caused her shoulders to shake; she eventually regained her composure. “I’m serious though. Did you get all freshened up for my birthday?”

“Maybe…” he answered with a shrug and a grin before admitting to it. “Okay you’re right. Yes, I did. I also wore my better clothes, because I wanted to look nice for you.”

“You did…?” She studied him for a moment. He did look rather nice, but she thought he always looked handsome no matter what he was dressed in or how he smelled. But, like he noticed before her she was now noticing that he looked especially handsome tonight as well… very handsome in fact, she suddenly had a strong desire to kiss him — and not softly or sweetly like she usually did, but passionately. Very passionately. She also glanced quickly at his hair and thought about how she wanted to bury her fingers in it, ruffling and messing it up in the process. Then suddenly, she dropped her gaze to his shoulders, noticing how broad they were. Had they always been that broad? They had to have been, right? And why was she only just noticing them now? She suddenly developed the urge to place her hands on the roundness of them, to slide her palms to his back, to find out if he was indeed as strong as he looked. Then, she realized what exactly it was going through her head and tried to shake the thought from her brain. No, she mentally told herself. Those thoughts will only lead to… Suddenly, she realized that Bae had said something. “Oh! I’m sorry, did you say something? I was lost in thought.”

Baelfire looked at her curiously before repeating: “I asked if the crown princess approves?” He straightened his posture and made a face, causing Emma to roll her eyes and half-giggle.

“I don’t know…” she teased. “She might approve better if she got a kiss.” she leaned forward and offered him her cheek, which he gladly accepted. But as soon as he leaned in to kiss her cheek, Emma suddenly turned her head and pressed her lips against his. Hard. At first, he was taken aback but he quickly recovered and returned her kiss, though not as hard as she , although still rather passionate, with Emma edging out of her seat so she could get closer to him. She climbed onto his lap, straddling him, and when she kissed him, she made her way to his jaw, where she trailed hot kisses all the way to his ear, before making a path down his neck, causing him to utter some sort of growl. Did that mean he liked it? Then she brought one hand up to his head, burying long her slender fingers into his thick brown waves (And goodness! How perfect his hair was! She would never get over it); but it wasn't long before she allowed her fingers to slowly slip down to the crude braided leather belt that cinched his tunic and as she continued to kiss him, she started to work on the knot…

Baelfire began to squirm nervously. “Emma…” his voice was muffled and there was a bit of warning to his tone, but Emma didn’t care; she continued to kiss him and relentlessly and blindly worked on undoing the knot at his middle. That was when Bae decided to take matters into his own hands: “Emma.” He pulled away and firmly but gently took her hands in his and Emma, still perched on his lap, looked at him with confusion.

“Is something wrong?” she asked, her brow furrowed in puzzlement. “Did you… did you not like it…?” A gleam of disappointment flashed her green eyes.

“No!” he answered quickly. “No, I-I did like it… alot, but--”

“Then if you liked it, why did you want me to stop?” She was going to start back up right where she left off, but Baelfire stopped her again. “Bae!” she wanted to know why he was acting so weird all of a sudden. “What’s wrong?”

“We’re um, we’re not married…” he stammered nervously.

“But we might as well be…” She smiled at him before leaning in to kiss him again, this time playfully grabbing his bottom lip between her teeth. “Isn’t that what this is…?” She gestured to the pendant he had given to her moments ago. “...a betrothal gift…?” She kissed him again, this time on his jaw.

Baelfire chuckled lightly in response. “Well, I sort of got it for you as a birthday gift but--” He was interrupted by another one of Emma’s persuasive kisses. He had to admit… what she was doing felt really good and if he was truthful, he didn’t really want her to stop… but he also did… the whole ordeal was weird. What he did know however, was that if Emma didn’t stop, things were gonna happen and he would never get the chance to explain himself. He was going to have to be firm with her. He took hold of her wrists and stopped her.

“What??” Emma looked at him, her eyes wide with even more confusion. “What is wrong with you?? I thought you wanted to do this!!” her lip went into a little pout. “We’ve talked of marriage; don’t you - you still love me, right?”

“I know we have and yes, of course I do, but--”

“But what?” she interrupted, her tone short with confusion and annoyance. “What makes you so hesitant?”

Baelfire inhaled before going on. “We, we’re not married yet, Em--”

“So? We plan to be someday…” She leaned forward to try and kiss him again but Baelfire stopped her, adding to her current agitation. She opened her mouth to say more but Bae interrupted her before she could go on.

“That’s the thing. We want to get married, but what if our parents find out about us, prohibit a union, and it doesn’t work out?”

“It will work out. We’ll make it work out.”

“But what if it doesn’t?” he asked again. “What if we can’t, and you’re left with no honor? You would be left ‘soiled’ for your royal or nobleman husband.”

“That little detail is for me to worry about, don’t you think?” Her reply was short and she crossed her arms to emphasize how annoyed she was with him at that moment. He opened his mouth to speak again but Emma cut him off. “Listen to me, Baelfire.” she began. “My ‘honor’ as you like to call it, is mine to give to whom I please - which in my case will be to the man I marry and the man I marry is in fact going to be you.” She uncrossed her arms and slowly began to inch back into his space, hoping to yet again pick up where she left off but instead she was interrupted once more with a ‘Hold up!’. “What now?!” she cried in more frustration. What was his problem?? This was getting so old! Was he not listening to her just now?

He cleared his throat. “I wasn’t done…”

Emma prompted him to go on with an annoyed expression.

“It’s… it's not just that. You see...” he wriggled a bit in nervousness. “I always imagined, well, this whole, first time sharing a bed business, taking place on our wedding night…”

Emma thought for a moment and remembered her parents carefully teaching her during her growing years that sexual intercourse was an absolute no when outside of marriage. But if they were already figuring themselves as betrothed then did that rule still apply? She stared at Bae while the thoughts were going through her brain, what he just said, what her parents had taught her, and what she wanted to do; suddenly her thoughts were interrupted by Baelfire’s voice and she came alive again. “I’m sorry?”

“I asked if you follow me?”

She nodded, of course she did. “Yes,” she answered slowly as she looked down. “And I always imagined my first time going like that too but--” a startling thought suddenly crossed her mind and she looked back up at him through her eyelashes. “Is it me?” she suddenly asked.

“What?!” his look of disbelief reached to his eyes and Emma repeated her question. “I heard what you asked! I just can't believe that that thought would even so much as cross your mind!”

“Well!” she began to get defensive and straightened her shoulders. “It’s because I’m a princess, isn’t it?” she asked as she stared him straight in the eye. “Isn’t it?”

“No…” he answered her hesitantly and Emma knew that he was lying. She raised her eyebrows questioningly at him. and when he avoided her gaze, she became more annoyed.

“Are you serious??” she let out a huff and placed her hands angrily on her own hips. He tried to speak again but Emma cut him off, shaking her head in disbelief. “No! You just listen here, Baelfire! I fell in love with you for many reasons and one of the main ones was the way you never treated me like a princess!” she paused for a moment and noticed Baelfire’s puzzled look. “No, I meant in the way I can be myself around you; I never have to worry about maintaining proper etiquette with you and I can vent without you-- you already know this anyway - but I love you because you never once saw me as ‘Princess Emma’, you always treat me as just Emma and that has always meant so much to me,” she glanced down for a brief moment and bit her lip when she looked back up. “And now that we - er, I - bring up, well, this…” she gestured to how she was still straddling his lap. “you get all weird on me, suddenly treating me as a princess. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?” she felt somewhat better now that she had said all that; she took his hand in hers and brought it up to her face, kissing his knuckle as she waited for his reply.

He sighed. He understood completely what she was saying. He wanted to do this with her, he really did… and as he thought about it and the longer he stared at her pleading eyes the better the idea sounded. But, he really was telling the truth about imagining sharing his bed with his woman for the first time on their wedding night… that was how it was supposed to be, right? He also kept thinking about what Emma said; the whole ‘betrothal’ thing, the princess thing… he cleared his throat again, “About the betrothal thing…”

“Mhm…?” Emma prompted as she still held his hand.

“Does it really count if we’ve only discussed getting married? I haven’t even talked to your father yet, let alone met him yet, and--” he swallowed. “Does it still apply?”

“I like to think it does; we’re not the most traditional couple in case you haven't noticed…” she gripped his hand a little tighter and Baelfire nodded in agreement. “I love you so much.” she leaned in close again, rubbing her nose against his and pressing her forehead into his.

“I love you so much too, Em. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“And grow old with me…?” she grinned and kissed him.

“Isn’t that kind of what I just said?”

“Mm, a little different.” she kissed him once more and inched herself closer on his lap.

“Okay, yes. I do want to grow old with you. If you’ll grow old with me?”

Emma giggled, “Daughters of True Love don’t ‘grow old’, we age. There’s a difference.”

“Oh, well, excuse me! Will you age with me then?”

Emma giggled again in response and nodded her head. “Yes I’ll age with you, and you’ll be my prince...” she kissed him again and he pulled away for a moment, puzzled. “Excuse me? What did you call me?”

Emma looped her arms loosely around his neck and nodded with a smile. “A prince! Royalty or noble birth doesn’t make you a prince, Bae. Sometimes it’s what’s in here,” she placed her palm gently over his heart. “that makes you a prince and, and because of that you always were, and always will be, a prince to me.” She gazed at him, her eyes sparkling. “Promise me that whatever happens, we’ll always be together.”

“I promise.”

“And whenever we do decide to tell our parents, we’ll still marry, right? No matter what their reactions are, or what they say?” she pressed her cheek against his and he could feel her breath on his ear.

“Even if we have to run to the farthest realm.” He vowed and Emma grinned against his cheek in response before turning toward his ear. “You’re amazing…” she whispered.

“And so are you.” Emma giggled in response, and as she ran her hands through his hair again he tipped his head back slightly in pleasure, with Emma taking that as an invitation to deliver more kisses to his neck. He had to admit, this was feeling really good and he began to wonder, was Emma right about the whole ‘betrothal counts’ thing? By now he was sure beginning to think so. As he gave it thought, he did recall hearing of betrothed couples engaging in this sort of thing; maybe she was right about it being okay after all. Suddenly he felt Emma’s hands at his middle once again, attempting once again to undo the knot in his belt. This time, he let her work on unknotting it… The longer she did this, the greater the temptation became; by now he wanted to give in and do this with her and she was right, they did love each other - more than anything - and if he was completely honest with himself he had been wanting to touch her for some time now, and began to wonder what it would be like to touch her… He would soon find out because once Emma finally freed him of his belt (dropping it to the ground with a soft thud), while continuing to kiss him, she carefully slid her palms up his tunic and rested them on his chest. Suddenly, she stopped kissing him and stared at him questioningly, palms still resting on his chest. Her hands weren’t cold, nor were they warm - perhaps something in between? Regardless, he liked the sensation very much and wanted her to continue and as he studied her questioning gaze, green eyes sparkling from the glow of their fire, all his feelings of apprehension from a short while ago were lost; he now had the same uncontrollable desire that she had and he finally gave in, leaning in to press a hot kiss against her lips. Emma uttered a pleased moan in response and kissed him back with enthusiasm, her hands still up his tunic. She pulled her hands out from under his tunic and began to work at the strings at his neck until they were loose enough to pull the tunic over his head - which she did, with a little help from him. All to reveal a chest that proved how much work he actually did around his cottage - who knew he was hiding some muscle under those rough and bulky clothes? She liked what she saw and immediately placed her palms on his chest, feeling the outlines of his muscle and making her way up to his shoulders. She had been right about his shoulders, they definitely felt as strong as they had looked and she couldn’t stop feeling them. She resumed kissing him, beginning at his lips before moving to his jaw, eventually making her way to the spot right below his ear. She brought her hands back up to his head, once again tangling her fingers in his finger-length wavy hair. She must have hit a sweet spot too because all of a sudden he uttered a soft little groan and Emma didn’t know if it was the way she grabbed his hair or the way she had just nibbled on his ear. Perhaps it was both? Whichever it was, she liked that she had that effect on him - it made her feel… well, she couldn’t exactly explain how it made her feel but it was definitely a good feeling, whatever it was.

Suddenly, she felt his hands move slowly down her back, lightly catching her hair before he slid his hands back down, finally bold enough to gently stroke her butt and thigh. The touch was hesitant, but nonetheless, it was enough to send shivers through her body. Then she felt him working on undoing the lacings of her kirtle and knew he was nervous through the shakiness of his fingers. Instead of assisting him and risking him getting more uneasy and agitated she shifted her weight forward on his lap and kissed him with more fervor than before, hoping that would give him some encouragement and help to relax him a bit. It must have worked, because he did finally manage to get her lacings undone; she felt her kirtle suddenly loosen, revealing her off-white chemise as she smoothly wiggled her shoulders out of it and cast it to the side of them. Then he dragged his hand up her side, finally daring to caress her breast; she gasped at the sudden pleasant touch as it sent shivers all through her body.

Before they knew it they had moved from the chair to the ground where they continued to kiss and touch, taking their time to figure out what one another liked, with Emma allowing him to stay on top of her (they had their whole lives to play dominance battles - but tonight they would just learn with each other). As they readied themselves for the next stage, Emma tentatively moved her hands south, where she began unfastening the laces on his tented trousers in an attempt to help free his yard. He uttered a groan into her ear as her hand brushed against him. So he liked that? What else could she do to rile him up, she wondered. If he reacted that way to a light brush, imagine how he’d react if she were to actually touch him. As soon as she was about to he suddenly froze, hovering above her looking rather nervous again. “Bae…? She lovingly stroked his face before moving a lock of his hair off of his already sweat-dampened forehead. “Is everything okay?” she asked.

He continued to stay there, focusing on the sight of her for a moment. She did look stunning lying there beneath him in nothing but her shoved-up chemise, her perfect little stomach all exposed, her blonde hair flowing out on the ground around her head, the fire and her perspiration making it look like her skin was glowing. She looked like a literal goddess. He finally realized that she had asked him a question. “Yeah, everything’s more than okay.”

Emma wasn’t wholly convinced. “But…?”

“Well….” he swallowed and blushed a little. “I- I don’t really know what I’m doing…”

“So?” she propped herself up on her elbows. “I don’t either! This is one of those-- this is something I’m pretty sure we’re supposed to learn together.” she moved an arm and used it to stroke his face again before she uttered a little giggle. “And… I’m pretty sure - well, maybe we don’t really know what to do or how to do this but… I’m willing to wager that our bodies know exactly what to do…” she lifted her head and stretched her neck to kiss his lips before adding, “So I guess we just follow our instincts, or, whatever this requires.”

He smiled nervously. “You’re probably right.” Suddenly he went serious again as another thought crossed his mind: “You’re - you’re not afraid I might hurt you…?”

She shook her head and kissed him again. “No. Not one bit. I trust you and you could never hurt me.” she uttered a light giggle before she added matter-of-factly, “I also have a very high tolerance for pain; it takes alot to hurt me.”

He smiled at that; her faith in him was boosting his confidence. “You’re sure?”

“Mhm,” she nodded. “I trust you, Bae.” She kissed him again, clinging to his bottom lip for a moment and once she let go he went for her neck, where he kept trailing kiss after kiss, nibble after nibble, from her neck down to her bosom; both of them allowing the other’s hands to rove and explore, readying each other once again, for real this time, for the next phase. And they did finally move on and after much trial and error, they eventually found their rhythm where the crackling of the fire was soon drowned out by the sounds of their rutting.

Next chapter

#Secrets Lies and Blessings A SwanFire FanFic #SwanFire #Bae & Emma #OUAT #my writings

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starryeyes-oneshots · 5 years

Text

christmas miracles

[A/N: Hey guys, I know that this is short but this is all i had time for and really wanted to get something up for Christmas! Hope you enjoy!]

"How long do you think before she bolts in here and begs to go downstairs?" Joe asks his wife as they laid in bed on Christmas morning. Snowing was falling just outside the window and the low hum of the heat running filling the room, Taylor and Joseph cuddled up in bed under their duvet - just enjoying the silence that didn't happen very often anymore.

Taylor yawns, rubbing her eyes as her head laid on his chest, "5 minutes max."

Joe nods with a chuckle, "Too bad it wasn't longer." He smirks, kissing her head.

"Oh Joey." Taylor giggles, "You're such a tease."

In that moment, the little pitter patter of bare feet padded down on the hardwood floor in the hallway before their daughter's voice could be heard from the other side of the door, "Mummy! Daddy!" The little girl squeals, "Santa! Santa!"

"Come on in baby." Taylor says, grabbing her glasses from the bedside table and sitting up in the bed a bit, waiting for their daughter to come rushing into the room.

The door handle slowly turned, before a tired blonde haired, ocean blue eyed four year old emerged from the hallway, wearing her favourite Christmas pyjamas.

"Good morning pretty girl." Joe smiles, shifting to sit up a bit beside his wife, "Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas Daddy." Eleanor smiles brightly, climbing onto the bed.

"Good morning, El." Taylor pulls her daughter into her lap, wrapping her arms around her and hugging her tightly, kissing her head.

"Momma!" Eleanor beams, craning her neck to look at her mother, "Do you think Santa came? Do you think I was a good girl this year?"

"We'll have to go see, won't we baby?" Taylor nods, gently tucking Eleanor's blonde curls out of her face.

"El, how about we go see and then Mum can make us breakfast?" Joe suggests, leaning in and resting his head on Taylor's shoulder, reaching out to rub the four year old's arm.

Eleanor leans back into Taylor's chest, a big yawn engulfing her little face, "Yes please daddy."

Taylor smiles softly, kissing her daughter's head again, "Let's go, baby girl. We have to see if Santa came!" She says, moving out of the bed and pulling Eleanor onto her hip.

"Santa! Mommy! Santa!" Eleanor smiles brightly, wrapping her arms around Taylor's neck.

"Come on, honey." Taylor kisses her cheek, carrying their daughter downstairs, her husband soon following behind them.

The blonde haired woman set her daughter down on her own two feet at the bottom of steps, watching her run into the adjacent living room of their Nashville home and hearing her squeals and giggles erupt and fill the room with one of the best sounds Taylor had ever come to know. Her husband came up behind her, gently resting his hand on her lower back and kissing her head, "Guess she's excited, huh?" He chuckles near her ear.

"Mummy! Daddy! Come see!" Eleanor calls from the other room.

Taylor smiles sleepily, pushing her glasses up before the two of them followed the sounds of their daughter and came into the big living room, where their tall Christmas tree was standing brightly.

"Momma! He came!" Eleanor smiles, her bright blue eyes glistening over everything she could see that wasn't there the night before.

"Did he baby?" Taylor asks her daughter as if she didn't know or couldn't see herself.

Eleanor nods, "Can I open them?" She asks politely, "Please and thank you?"

Joe chuckles, wrapping his arm around his wife and pulling her closer to his side as they stood in the living room, "You don't wanna eat breakfast first, love? Mummy made cinnamon buns."

Eleanor thinks for a second, putting her little finger on her chin as she tried to make her decision, "No please daddy? El wait for food."

Taylor and Joe both laugh at their daughter before Taylor moves to sit down on the floor with their daughter, "Guess we're doing gifts first, huh?"

Eleanor nods, "Mommy I have one for you!" She smiles, already wanting to give her mother her drawings from preschool.

"Oh do you baby?" She asks, reaching to gently tuck the four year old's platinum blonde hair out of her face.

"Yes!" She squeals, standing up and finding the pages filled with wax crayon and glitter that she had put in the back of the tree for safe keeping, with help from her father of course, "Here, Mummy." The four year old smiles brightly, "These are for you."

"Why thank you so much, El. I love them!" Taylor smiles softly at her daughter, looking down at the drawings she had done while at preschool, "Don't you have any drawings for daddy?"

Eleanor nods, "He already got his." She explains, sitting back down in her mother's lap, "But I kept yours a surprise!"

"Yes you did, honey." Taylor says, wrapping her arms around her daughter and kissing her head, "Mommy loves them, thank you."

"Here El, I think it's your turn baby girl." Joe nods, grabbing a gift from under the tree, "This one is from...Santa!"

Eleanor smiles brightly, politely thanking her dad for the gift before opening it in her mother's lap. Much of the morning proceeded on like this, Eleanor's face with a permanent smile plastered on it as she opened the various gifts from her parents and Santa, Taylor and Joe exchanging the few things they had bought for each other. Near the end of their Christmas morning gift exchange, Taylor and Joe were sitting together on the couch as Eleanor played with her new toys just a few feet away on the floor.

"I think there's one more gift under there." Taylor smiles, getting up from the couch and heading over towards the tree before bending down to grab the wrapped box.

"Is it for El?" Joe asked, rubbing his tired eyes from their eventful morning.

Taylor shakes her head, "'s for both of you." She nods, coming back to sit beside her husband on the couch.

Joe furrowed his eyebrows a bit, "From who?"

Taylor smiles softly, looking over to their daughter, "El, baby can you please come help daddy open this one last gift?"

Eleanor looks up at her mother with a nod and smile before coming over to join them.

As the two opened the present, Joe knew right away and their four year old didn't really know what was going on or why her mother was on the verge of bursting into tears.

"Mommy?" Eleanor asks, a confused look on her face, pulling the positive pregnancy test out of the box, "You got daddy and I a marker?"

Taylor giggles, wiping the tears away from the rims of her eyes, "No baby no." She shakes her head, looking at her husband who looked as he was about to cry himself.

"You're pregnant?" He asks, looking at Taylor with the happiest, gleaming smile on his face.

Taylor nods, before getting engulfed into a huge hug from her husband, "We're gonna have a baby?" He asks again, not too sure that he believed what he was hearing.

She nods again, letting the tears roll down her cheeks. They had waited years for this, at least two full ones trying to conceive a baby. A sibling for their daughter. A second child.

"El!" Joe says brightly, his arms still hugging Taylor extremely tightly, "Do you know what this means?"

Eleanor looks at her dad, "What does it mean, daddy? Why is Mummy crying?"

"Oh love no, come here." Joe says, pulling his daughter close as well, "Mummy is crying cause she is so happy to tell you that you're gonna be a big sister!"

Eleanor's little jaw drops, her eyes bugging out of her head as she processed the information that was being given to her, "I'm gonna be a big sister!?" She squeals, starting to jump up and down.

Taylor nods, pulling away from her husband's grasp, "You are honey, you are."

"Thank you mommy, thank you!" Eleanor squeals, climbing up into Taylor's lap, "'s a miracle!"

"Yes El, it's a Christmas miracle." Joe smiles, pulling his girls close to his chest and wondering how he could've gotten this lucky.

#taylor swift fanfiction #taylor joe fanfiction #joe taylor fanfiction #jaylor #taylor swift #oneshots

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