#I seriously canNOT cry in lab I swear to god

[glassballdinosaurs]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[cartoonist-ks]

Tiramisu Meltdown (Donatello x Reader)

About: Donatello has a meltdown because his favorite restaurant that sells his favorite dessert, Tiramisu is closed, and is unable to order take-out.

Note: Based on yet another KidBehindACamera video.

Ratings: PG-13

Warnings: Mild-Swearing, Whining

-------------------------------------------------------

Donatello was laying on your bed in your room in a very sour mood. His favorite restaurant that sells his favorite dessert, Tiramisu was closed. He had made numerous attempts to call them despite the inconvenience but was unable to get through. He was persistent and wasn't giving up on his favorite dessert. You came into the room to see if you could try and cheer him up. He was on his phone as expected trying to call the restaurant.

Y/N: "Don-Bon...it's alright, honey."

Donnie: "I'm not giving up on this!"

Y/N: "Babe, they're closed. They're not gonna answer."

Donnie: "You don't know that!"

Y/N: "You've already tried several times and it didn't work."

Donnie: "Technically, I tried about 47 times to reach them so far. I refuse to give up on this!"

His phone went straight to voice mail, and this only seemed to anger Donnie more.

Donnie: "I WANT TIRAMISU! I'm calling again."

The turtle dials the numbers on his phone once again and waited as it rang.

Y/N: "Honey, seriously. You're the smartest person I know. I never expected this type of behavior from you. Maybe from Raph, but never from you. This is so out of character."

Donnie: "I don't care. I'm not giving up!"

Once again, the phone went straight to voicemail. Donnie pants in anger gripping the phone, but not too tight to avoid breaking it. He then sits up on the bed with a cute angry Donnie face.

Y/N: "Donnie, you need to chill. You're 22 years old, you shouldn't be acting like this. It's embarrassing."

Donnie: "Y/N-...you don't get it."

Y/N: "Look, I know how much you love Tiramisu and I know they're delicious, I wish I had one too. But Don, they're closed for the entire month. We'll try again next month."

Donnie rubs his eyes under his glasses and then slides his hand down his cheek in agitation.

Y/N: "Donnie..."

Donnie: "You don't get it. I fight crime during the night, I work in my lab for the rest without sleep and a cup of coffee to keep me up. Do you know how stressful that is? Tiramisu is the only thing to help me get over that stress."

Y/N: "And what about me? Aren't I your stress reliever, too?"

Donnie: "Well, of course, you are. But that's beside the point here."

Y/N: "Look, we can just have Japanese food instead."

Donnie: "OH GOD, WE ALWAYS HAVE JAPANESE! I hate Japanese!"

Y/N: "How could you hate Japanese? It's like your culture."

Donnie: "How many times can you eat noodles, soy sauce, dumplings, and sushi all in one combo? HOW MUCH?!"

Y/N: "Come on, Don!"

Donnie: "No!"

Y/N: "Donnie...calm down."

Donnie: "They have the best vegetarian pizzas, they have the best- gah! Life is so unfair!"

He then gets up from the bed with his phone in his hands ready to call the place again. He dials the number once again and the phone rings. He waits in desperation for them to answer.

Donnie: "Calling Tiramisu."

Voicemail: "This is the Tiramisu restaurant here to inform you that we cannot get to the phone right now-

Donnie hangs up.

Donnie: "No problem!"

Y/N: "This is just sad."

Donnie: "It's sad because I can't get any Tiramisu! I waited so long for this. We saw the message, it read: Tiramisu, opening soon! It was a few months ago, they said this August. And now it's August, and they're not even open?!"

Donnie's face turned into a mix of a cry/pouting expression as he looks at you.

Y/N: "Donnie...

Donnie: "I wanted two orders of vegetarian pizza, two orders of Tiramisu...

Y/N: "But Donnie, they're thriving! Next month, we'll be eating Tiramisu for days. The wait will be worth it!"

Donnie sits on the bed with his arms folded almost like a child. A few seconds later, he was right back on the phone ready to call the place one last time.

Donnie: "This is call 50. They better answer."

Y/N: "Don-Bon-

Donnie: "I'm not giving up until I have some delicious Tiramisu in my belly!"

He dials the numbers, the phone rings. As expected, there was no answer.

Donnie: "I'm leaving a voicemail. Hey, this is Donatello calling. Umm. Did you close again? I've been trying...hello?"

The phone beeps, Donnie looked like he was about to cry at this point and slowly lays back down on the bed, pulling the covers over him. You couldn't help, but laugh at this point.

Y/N: "Jesus, Donnie. You need to calm down with that, man. Seriously. It's enough."

-------------------------------------------------------

One Hour Later...

Donnie was in the living room sitting on the couch. You ran over to him and he picks his head up to you.

Y/N: "Donnie, I just placed a Tiramisu order- Wait, are you crying?"

He quickly wipes his tears away.

Donnie: "No, I'm not actually. It's sweat."

Y/N: "Dude, you're seriously crying."

Donnie: "It's. Sweat."

Y/N: "Look, I just placed a Tiramisu order."

Donnie perked up.

Donnie: "You did?"

Y/N: "Yeah."

Donnie: "You placed Tiramisu?"

Y/N: "Uh-huh."

Donnie quickly got up from the couch and went over to the kitchen. You burst out laughing.

Y/N: "I'm kidding! I didn't place an order. I'm sorry."

Donnie: "What?"

Y/N: "I lied. I was joking."

Donnie: "No Tiramisu?"

Y/N: "No. They didn't answer."

Donnie just slammed his face on the kitchen counter. Feeling the most stress he had ever felt in his life. You rubbed his shell comforting him almost feeling bad for pulling that little prank on him.

Poor Donnie...

@turtle-babe83 @exovapor

[duskkodesh]

Top Five Ways Sony Will Probably Screw Up Morbius: A Predictive List

Been wanting to do this for a whiiiiile so that in a year and a half I have something at least mildly amusing in the flaming wreck of my favorite character and can reblog this with movie commentary. For right now this is gonna be an easy breezy list under the cut.

1: They’ll Stuff Martine Into a Fridge. 

You know they will. In the comics she’s alive from 1971 his first appearance until 1991 his 90′s solo series where... okay yes, she then dies a dramatic death for emotional effect causing him to seek some bloody revenge but still. She at least had a few decades of popping into his stories and sometimes actually being supportive and a huge help. If they wipe Martine out at origin it messes with canon and rather erases that the original fridge trope for Morb was Emil, his lab partner. Morbius pushed Martine away after he was transformed just to keep her safe and honestly it worked for a really long time. Kudos dude for good judgement.

2: They’re Gonna Edge It.

Morb has been in some edgy situations and titles but honest to god you CANNOT run a character like him with a straight face. If they play this story without humor or at least a few meta jokes it’s going to fail. Humor also helps break plot points up, and adds relief to the stress of the story. The man is a Spider-man villain for crying out loud and we aren’t getting Peter in to add quips so the writers are going to have to do that for us. If they don’t it’s gonna come off like the Punisher movie and no one wants that.

3: They’ll Make Him Competent.

Let’s be clear here. I love Morbius. I mean I LOVE him but he’s a character who rolled a twenty in intelligence, a ten in wisdom, and a 0 in luck. Morb’s failure is his own origin story. Literally “Oops I drink blood now.” There are a few ways they could remove his fail factor and honest to god I’m predicting one in particular. The worst possible way is that they make the villain actually responsible for the lab accident that causes his origin which would remove a lot of his grief and self blame and just make him the world’s most gimmicky vigilante. Speaking of which...

4: The Villain Sucks.

This is so self exclamatory I don’t really need to expand on it but I’ll simply point to this article and scream my muffled swear words into a pillow lest small children hear me. This sounds bad. Like new levels of bad. If Sony wrote to me and said ‘hey, what do we not do in this movie?’ I’d probably come back with “Well, don’t create an Emil Nikos clone friend character and then have him somehow gain the same powers as Morb but have him be like a douche’ about it so Morb can fight him.” Seriously. Here’s an idea, have Morb actually fight a hero. Have him screw up, get corrected and have someone tell Morbius why he’s wrong. It ends up a lot more poignant. Even if they didn’t want to go that far I’d just hold up a dartboard of existing villains. Never mind the fact that really Morb’s greatest enemy is himself.

The last prediction and by far the worst.

5: He’s Gonna Be Bland

If... they make him the self insert male lead you project yourself into (like a leather jacket you try on for two hours then ditch) we are screwed. Utterly screwed. See also: White guy brand, anti-villain scented, vampire flavored, gluten free, all filler meal. Absolutely forgettable in every way and barely palatable to begin with. Honestly with leto’s joker already this to a T this is hardly a radical prediction from the acting side, and the writers haven’t done much to inspire hope. Let’s look at their writing credits shall we? Dracula Untold, Power Rangers, Gods of Egypt, Lost in Space... need I go on? Tell me if I held a movie marathon at my house and put all those films on how many would you get through before praying for the sweet release of death? (My sole hope here is Avid Arad is on staff and won’t let bad writing stand. here’s hoping.)

So that’s it. My predictions for the movie. Matters of things like looks, costume, soundtrack, all that stuff put aside (Though I will be pissed if we don’t get the disco suit I will be honest here.) Will it be numbers 3 and 5? Maybe 1 and 2? Maybe they’ll shoot for Yahtzee and just do all five? Feel free to drop an opinion in my ask box. I could use the distraction.

[faintblueivy]

Number 15 for Karmanani please! (I can just see Karma talking about a hell exchange program lol); tho no 27 is honestly *very* tempting for Manami:) Thanks!

AAAAAAH! KARMANAMI! Thank you for the prompt Lo! Hope you like this, i think this is going to be a two shot fanfic.😂

Prompt: 1.    “If my day gets any worse, I’m askinghell if they’re having an exchange program.”

Prompt: 2.    “I am one of the few people in theworld who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.” 

Chapter 2

Somewhere Close

Chapter 1: When bad day ends with a Smile

Manami yawns. She hasbeen preparing reports and observations since morning. Her fingers felt stuckand her head ached. She pulled her glasses off her face and rubbed her eyes.Cleaning them carefully, she put them on again.

Three more reports towrite.

The moment her fingershovered over the keys of laptop again, her phone rang. The screen displayedKarma-kun in bold letters. Her fingers involuntarily grabbed the cell phone andswiped against the screen to accept it.

“Hello! Karma-kun?”

“Yo. Okuda-san.” Theweariness in his voice was visible even over the phone. She could even imaginehim rubbing the bridge of his nose and temple in irritation.

“Yes, Karma-kun. Areyou alright?”

A short laugh reachesher ears and then he says, “Never mind me. But are you free tonight?”

I need someone to talk. Was left unsaid. But thankfully for him, shestill heard it.

She looked at thefiles and folders strewn across her table.

Three more reports,right? She should to be able to finish them if she skips her breaks and workshalf hour extra.

“Yes I am.”

“Great! I’ll come topick you up, kay? When should I come?” Maybe it’s just her assumption but hesounds a little glad.

“Can you come at6:45?” she finds her lips curling into a smile. His excitement is a littlecontagious.

“Okay! I’ll be there!”A second later karma hangs up.

…

When her work is done,it’s almost 6:50. She pulls her stuff up and races down the stairs, only to bemet with the sight of him leaning against his car, blazer gone and sleevesrolled up to his elbows. His careful hairstyle had become slightly messier. He helda coffee in his hands and his golden eyes were focused on the road.

Knowing him, it was anact. To let the females on this side gushing over him, that he was notinterested. Manami almost exits the lab when a hand falls over her shoulder.Her head swivels and she comes face to face with her senior – Hijikata-san.

“Okuda-san? Are youdone for today?” the older woman smiles.

“Yes Mam.”

“That’s great to know!Normally, we’d have to drag you out of the lab to send you home.” She laughsand Manami smiles awkwardly, shifting on her foot repeatedly, wanting to getout of here as soon as possible.

Maybe the womannotices her discomfort and gasps, “Oh my god! He’s here! Isn’t he?” then pokingher head out from her side she sees Karma.

“Shoo! Girl. Go!” Anda second later Manami finds herself out of the labs.

s when Karmanotices her and his nonchalant expression transforms into a big grin and Manamifinds herself returning it as well.  

“I’m sorry! I expectedto finish up a little earlier.” Manami says as she hands her bag to him whichhe throws on the back seat carefully.

“No big deal! I’m justhappy to see you here, honestly.”

As Manami laughs wholeheartedly at his response he looks comically offended, “Hey! I missed you, youknow.”

“Seven days, karma-kun.We just met a week ago!” she shakes her head in amusement at his antics.

“But I still missedyou, even though you didn’t.” he pouts like a petulant child.

“Well, I never saidthat I didn’t miss you.” She tells him smiling softly.

“I know.” He grins.

…

When they reach theirfavourite restaurant, it is packed full. The place was not actually huge orhigh class but the food was delicious and staff was welcoming. The environmentwas cosy and friendly. Manami sincerely loved it here.

They’re led to their tablewhich was thankfully empty by their normal server. Jin-kun was bright andbrilliant child but with poor background and in need of money. To Karma, hereminded much of Isogai, who currently has been doing well. Both of them alwaysmade sure to leave a little extra sum to help him, even though it was little.

“So, the usual?” heasks with a big smile, one hand holding the notepad and other ready with a pen.

“Yes.” They nod inresponse to his query.

And he bounds off tothe kitchens for getting their orders prepared.

“So,” she leans a bitforward to brush off some of his red locks out of his eyes out of instinct. Hiseyes were beautiful and she didn’t like it when she couldn’t see them. Though,he looked a little surprised at her actions and she suddenly gets flustered andpulls her hand back.

“I-I mean how was yourday?”

“Bad.” He replies inone word but Manami does not ask any more questions because she knows that hewon’t talk in public.

“What about yours?”

“It was good! But I’mjust sort of nervous.” She doesn’t understand but somehow words flow out of hermouth when she’s with him. She knows that she is a far cry from the sociallyawkward child she was once but with Karma – it was different.

“Nervous?” he looks ather with his brows raised and suddenly blinks, “Oh yeah! Tomorrow the firstresults of pre-clinic test of Rh slither blood would be coming up, right? Youmentioned it earlier. Takebayashi’s been dealing with it, right?”

“Yes, I’m just worriedabout what if it fails? All of our work would-”

“Okuda-san.” Hedoesn’t let her continue. The sensation of his warm and large hand over her ownsends a tingle down her spine, “you put your day and nights in it. I knowyou’ve worked hard and thought of it from every possible angle. You’re going tobe fine and it passed the previous tests with flying colours. So, please don’tworry.”

She doesn’t know butwhen karma says things like this – she cannot help but believe him. Hisreassurance always works magic to calm her nerves. So, she gives him a smilewhich he returns.

That’s when their foodarrives. The sight and delicious smell of food reminds them both of how muchhungry they both were. Their stomach growls and they grin and start digginginto their food.

Soon they’re done withit and almost leave the restaurant when suddenly Jin-kun stumbles and falls,spilling all the curry about to be served over Karma’s white dress shirt.Manami gasps. And Jin looks horrified as everyone looks on in apprehension.

“S-sorry!”the boy almost sobs.

A suddensound of snicker reaches their ears as Manami sees a group of boys laughing atthe situation. The boy sitting on the edge of seats pulls his leg inside thebooth grinning at them, saying, “Oops, Sorry! Hahaha!”

That’swhen Manami realises the amount of killing intent that was oozing out of Karma!He helped Jin to his feet and sauntered over the table of those boys. Manamistraightened herself, lest she should’ve to intervene to stop karma fromkilling people.

On the top it, he already had a bad day. Oh no! 

Although,she could see that Karma’s potent blood lust was actually creeping those guysout. Then Karma tilted his head to look at the owner of the restaurant,“Oji-san, you know, there’s a law that says denial of service is completelyacceptable if a customer insults a good employee and crates trouble for someanother valued customer.”

“Is thatso, Akabane-kun? Thank you for informing me. And please, you all may leavebecause we will not be serving you anymore.” The old man states firmly. But theboys try to glare up at him which was responded by Karma’s increased bloodlust.

As theytry to leave, the one who had tripped Jin falls flat on his face and Karmagrins devilishly, “Oops. Sorry.” The boy hastily jumps to his feet and theyimmediately run towards the exit followed by Manami and Karma who had waved offJin’s apology saying that it was not his fault.

Sometimes,Manami feels proud of Karma’s development but never says anything. Pointing itout might upset him.

They enterhis car when she suddenly screams, “Take off your shirt Karma-kun! The currywas scorching hot! You burned yourself!”

Hehesitates for a second but obliges when Manami glares at him, “Now.”

“Okuda-san.”He teases, “Do you understand the implications of me being shirtless with youinside my car?”

“I don’tcare!” she tells him defiantly, her eyes never leaving the red spot of burnedskin on his chest, feeling slightly guilty. Nonetheless, he picks up the blazerfrom the backseat and puts it on his shoulders, hiding the burnt area from hereyes. She speculates that he must have read her.

“We’regoing to my house.” She declares, “And I’m going to patch you up.”

Thankfully,for some reason he doesn’t object.

…

 Butseriously, I swear that if my day gets any worse, I’m asking hell if they’re having anexchange program.”

A giggle escapes her mouthas she applies a homemade cooling and healing jell on his chest. Only he wouldsay things like this. It’s premium to him alone.

“What happened?”

“Those old tweezers. Whatelse? I swear they’ve lost their minds. They think they’re too wise becausethey’re old and I believe that old age has rotten off their brains. They rejectevery suggestion that the young new comers put to protect their damnedoverblown ego. They have been making me mad lately, especially that old bastardNifuji.”

“Hm, do you want me tothreaten him for you?” Manami asks with a light smirk on her face and amischievous glint in her eyes.

“Oh?” he looks at her ininterest, “Can you do that?”

She grins, “Of course Ican. I’ll say – ‘Nifuji-san. If you annoy Karma-kun one more time, be prepared.I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave noforensic evidence behind.” 

Karma laugh heartily, “Iwon’t argue with that! So, Okuda-san, I’m counting on you to save me, okay?”

Manami nods, a light smileon her face, glad that she could help Karma, in her own little way. Becauseseeing him genuinely laugh is one of the most beautiful sight on earth for herand she will not deny the warmth that spreads through her chest essentiallywhen she is the reason behind it.

So? Did you all like it? @ionica01  I really hope that you liked it, Lo! and I’m sorry it took so long but the next chapter is done as well which is related to your other prompt. I’ll be posting it soon!

Don’t forget to tell me your thoughts!

[stillsolo]

✩ for han & luke

THIS IS OVER 4.3K I CANNOT BELIEVE I LOVE MY OTP THIS MUCH.   BRACE YOURSELF AERIELLE, I HAVE LOTS OF FEELS HERE.  @techniiciian  | @lukeskyliquor | @tatooinejedi  ( since you sent something too.  For the sake of the family questions, I went with a different verse, I hope that’s okay!  some of these i couldn’t answer with your luke due to incompatible verses ( just imagine general otp i guess rip )   ;A;  this was so long…..idk if i can do i again omg

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice?Seriously? Obviously, Han is.

Who threatens to leave but never actually does?Neither of them.  However, I don’t doubt that Han would’ve threatened to bolt.  I can’t think of a reason as to why — if he feels cornered, his instinct is to run.

Who actually keeps their word and leaves?Shit — Luke.  Han wouldn’t be able to keep his word, not when it’s said during a heated argument etc.  If Luke says it, he means it.  Otherwise, it wouldn’t come from his mouth at all.

Who trashes the house?Han lmao 

Do either of them get physical?Lord, no.  Verses don’t even matter.  Before I think of ship, I think of their friendship — and they are best friends.  If they ever get into a physical fight….well, I assume it must be over Leia ??? or something life threatening and one of them ignoring the risks for the other etc 

How often do they argue/disagree?Ahhh.,.,,.,. this is a hard question for me.  I think there’s a difference between bantering and actual arguments?  I feel like they’d have their own banters, but when they get serious or border arguing, they stop to talk it out.  I know it sounds super civil and very easy, but it’s not. Han will never make that easy for Luke, and Luke won’t ever make that easy for Han.  Han is impatient and wants to know things then and there.  So when he asks a question, he expects an answer immediately.  However, Luke, usually answers questions with another question.  It’s mostly inadvertently done, but it happens nonetheless.  That’s where conflict arises — because Han hates going in circles, but it’s simply Luke’s nature to handle matters indirectly.

Who is the first to apologize?Can I say neither?  Because fucking neither.  Both of them are so fucking stubborn it makes me want to cuff them both upside the head.  It really depends on the situation, but more often than not, neither men are very inclined to be the first to apologize.  If the situation falls black and white, and we clearly know who is in the wrong, then maybe one of them will.  Han has pride but a soft heart.  Luke is stubborn as fuck and oblivious at times.  It’s hard to say.

Sex:

Who is on top?  Who is on the bottom?There is no top or bottom for them.  They do what feels good, they top or bottom when they feel like it.

Who has the strangest desires?Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  this is a hard question???  Han is a simple man — I don’t think he’ll have any strange desires.  As for Luke? well—on to the next question.

Any kinks?I know someone must be snickering right now omg.  On a less serious level, a daddy k.ink probably.  On a more realistic and serious level, Luke has a thing for praise.  It’ll take a lifetime or two for him to acknowledge it, much less admit it ( simply because he doesn’t think he needs praise.  I don’t think he’s had very many compliments pertaining to his handsomeness/skills in bed/etc. ), but yeah.  I assume he has one.  Han talks too much in bed anyway, so it works out.

Who’s dominant in bed?Wtf    both?

Is head ever in the equation?Sure is.

If so, who is better at performing it?Luke, more than likely. Luke likes to give and give and give.  He’s always more focused on his lover’s pleasure before his own.  It’s just his nature.  Han? Han likes to please others.  He takes their pleasure as his own. There’s a slight difference.

Ever had sex in public?Uhhhh — depends on how public?  I think they’ve had a few close calls when they were younger, but they become more reserved later on.

Who moans the most?Since Han fails to shut the fuck up pretty often, I think it’s Luke.  However, Luke holds back and tries not to make much noise unless he knows they’re in complete privacy.  

Who leaves the most marks?Han.  He’s possessive in the most overt ways possible. 

Who screams the loudest?Han … will try to stifle his cries out of embarrassment, but likely him, if he ever reached that point.  Refer to the ‘moaning’ question when it comes to Luke lmao

Who is the more experienced of the two?Han.

Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?Both. The latter takes up time, however, a lot of which they don’t have.

Rough or soft?Both. Han likes rough sex, though, no doubt about that.

How long do they usually last?Jeez, this is debatable?  Depends on how wound up they are.  But Luke winds Han up really easily.  It’s not surprising that Han would come first.

Is protection used?Modern verse:, it’s likely they do for the first few times.  After a while, Han just thinks he’s wasting money on condoms.  Scoundrel or not, a little fidelity isn’t hard and something he rather prefers.  Luke is loyal.  Neither of them has much to worry about when it comes to that.  In the sw verse?  Nah, they don’t.  

Does it ever get boring?Each time is like their first time, according to Han.  ( that echoed in my head as soon as I read the question — what a fucking sap omg )

Where is the strangest place they’d have sex?Shit — well, according to my long list of works for them — in the backrooms of a daycare.  Also, a lowbrow club filled with Coruscant’s worst slime.  They did in the public restrooms while undercover lmao bye

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children?Yes, they have a biological son;  Matthew, born in the labs. 

If so, how many children do your muses want/have?One is enough for now.

Who is the favorite parent?I doubt Matt favors a parent, but you could say he’s more attached to his dad: Han.

Who is the authoritative parent?Luke.  I mean, who the fuck else if not Luke?  God, Han is too laid back sometimes.

Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school?Han—depending. If the Matt lacks an actual reason, I doubt either of them will say yes?

Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around?They both do it and probably try not to let the other know.

Who turns up to extracurricular activities to support their children?Both! Han and Luke are very enthusiastic about that stuff.

Who goes to parent teacher interviews?LMFAO NOT HAN, THATS FOR SURE.

Who changes the diapers?Both. Han grumbles about it a lot tho.

Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby?Luke, even if he’s exhausted from work.  If he’s passed out even with Matt crying his lungs out, Han will end up taking care of Matt for the next few days to give Luke a break.  The cycle repeats.

Who spends the most time with the children?They both try to spend as much time with Matt as they can, but as military officials, they can’t spend much time at home.  If anything, r2 and c3po babysit a helluva lot.

Who packs their lunch boxes?Han, without a doubt.  Luke forgets when he’s occupied with work matters.

Who gives their children ‘the talk’?Luke.  oh god, Han would be so fucking bad at it.

Who cleans up after the kids?Sw verse? Neither.  The droids do. Modern?  Jeez, the house is messy. They both do their best.  It depends on how tired they are.

Who worries the most?Luke omF.  He never stops worrying about his child.  Or anything, for that matter.

Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from?……………………………………. Han.

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle?Han is a fucking giant cat lemme tell ya ok he loves affection.  He loves touching and feeling Luke when he can. D eep Touch Stim is what it’s called I think — Han draws surplus amounts of comfort from such things.  It helps with the carbonite nightmares too.

Who is the little spoon?Han.  When he has nightmares.  Normally, it’s just however they’ve fallen into bed together.

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?Normally Han, but that’s any fucking instance?  When it comes to actually doing something instead of teasing with words, it’s Luke.  He’s impetuous, that part of him hasn’t changed since he was a teen.  He’s just learned to control himself better due to training.  

Who struggles to keep their hands to them self?Luke.  lol

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?Like I said, Han is physically affectionate.  he’ll cuddle for as long as Luke allows him.

Who gives the most kisses?Luke.

What is their favorite non-sexual activity?This is??? so broad???   Long drives, long talks.  Reminiscing together. Going for a swim.  Being together with their son.

Where is their favorite place to cuddle?According to Han, cuddling is pretty fucking great anywhere.

Who is more likely to playfully grope the other?Han lmao  he’ll do it at the most random of times.

How often do they get time to themselves?Not very much, unfortunately.  Sw verse wise, they don’t see each other too often.  Not until they decide to have Matt.  Luke is training his students, Han trains pilots etc.  They’re busy.

Sleeping:

Who snores?Han.

If both do, who snores the loudest?Gosh, Luke even breathes quietly.

Do they share a bed or sleep separately?Share a bed of course.

If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?Depends on if either of them are awake enough to lay close.  Most of the time, they’re apart if they’re actually sleeping.

Who talks in their sleep?Han, during nightmares.

What do they wear to bed?For sure, they’re shirtless.  Han prefers just underwear or going nude.  Since Matt began crawling into bed with them at night, he sticks with underwear.  Luke wears sleep pants.  However, due to Luke’s nature to prefer a warmer climate, he buries himself under the blanket.  

Are either of your muses insomniacs?Lord, yes.  Due to their chaotic agendas, they have fucked up sleeping schedules.  

Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?No. Han doesn’t like taking that kind of stuff in either verse.  Luke?  Well, he’s just fucking stubborn.  He holds out for as long as he can until exhaustion takes him.

Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?Once again, it depends on if they’re awake enough to hold each other. It’s likely you’ll see Luke snuggling up to him.  As a result of his early life and past career, Han is normally a light sleeper. When they settled down on Coruscant, he’s lost a bit of that.  Luke, however, due to his upbringing on the farm, rises early as fuck.  Combining that with his stupid schedule, he doesn’t get much sleep.  He’s a light sleeper now — you could say he’s somewhat conscious all the time.

Who wakes up with bed hair?Luke.  His hair is just that medium length that’s perfect for cow licks lmao

Who wakes up first?Luke.

Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?Han, for sure.  Luke usually goes straight to paperwork or some shit.

What is their favorite sleeping position?Luke loves to sleep on top of Han’s chest.  Bonus, because Han is always needy for the pressure stim.

Who hogs the sheets?LuKE OH MY GOD LUKE.   Like I said, he gets cold.     rip Han

Do they set an alarm each night?Han needs one, Luke doesn’t.

Can a television be found in their bedroom?Yep.

Who has nightmares?Both.

Who has ridiculous dreams?Uh, I’m not sure.  I would say both. Their minds are always active.

Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?Han, the fucker.

Who makes the bed?Neither of them.  They don’t have time.  When it comes to the sw verse, the house droids do.

What time is bed time?Any fucking time, according to Han.  

Any routines/rituals before bed?Sex, if they’re not too tired.  If they are, then they just talk.  Facing each other with hands held, too dark to see, too tired to think; they converse of love and good times.  They talk about anything and everything, up until one of them falls asleep.  They love each other very much okay.

Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?Han is loud about it.  Luke could kill a man with just his glare.

Work:

Who is the busiest?Han is inclined to say, Luke.  I’m also inclined to say that.

Who rakes in the highest income?Modern verse?  Han, more than likely.  Sw?  Both of them are high military officials so….

Are any of your muses unemployed?No.

Who takes the most sick days?Neither. They’re stubborn as fucking fuck.

Who is more likely to turn up late to work?Han. Luke, but it’ll be inadvertent.  Like schedule conflicts – something that had nothing to do with his work performance.

Who sucks up to their boss?Neither.  Sucking up just isn’t their thing.  If Han does it, he wants something from them.  Luke won’t, he just won’t.

What are their jobs?Since I’m sure everyone knows what they do in sw.modern verse:  Han is basically a 21st century Indiana Jones.  He teaches at Alliance University and goes on archaeological adventures.  Luke is the director of the Department of Homeland Security (DHS).  

Who stresses the most?Is this even a question?? Luke.

Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?It’s debatable for Han in the sw verse.  He’s never truly happy until he’s broken ties with The Alliance.  Overall, yes.

Are your muses financially stable?Yep.

Home:

Who does the washing?The droids.  Modern?  Housemaid.

Who takes out the trash?Whoever sees that it’s full first and has the capacity to remember to take it out lmao

Who does the ironing?Neither.  But Han will if he needs to.

Who does the cooking?Han.

Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?Luke is so bad at that shit bye

Who is messier?Luke is quite messy, actually.  He’s still just a kid in some ways.

Who leaves the toilet roll empty?HAN THE FUCKER

Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?Luke tries not to, but sometimes he’s just too tired to care.  Han just doesn’t care.  It happens, but they try to avoid creating a bigger mess.

Who forgets to flush the toilet?Han.

Who is the prankster around the house?Neither.  They’re not one for pranks.

Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?Luke omfg  he’s so focused on the task at hand, it’s so easy for him to forget.

Who mows the lawn?Mostly Han.  Luke always wants to and tries doing it, but when he’s swamped with work, it’ll be Han.

Who answers the telephone?Whoever gets to it first.

Who does the vacuuming?Neither. The housemaid or droids.

Who does the groceries?Both!  This is where they’ll bring Matt.  Despite how busy they are, they make it to where they have one day to focus on family outing times.  They go shopping and go out for dinner.  Sw verse:  Closer to the same thing but less frequent.  Han doesn’t like depending on the food synth.

Who takes the longest to shower?Luke, though, he likes baths more.

Who spends the most time in the bathroom?In terms of getting ready?  Ummm, neither.  If it’s a diplomatic or political meeting …  they’re usually corralled into the fresher by Leia and some droids.  They’ll undergo some serious changes.  Haircut, new clothes, etc

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem?By the time they’re together and have Matt, that’s a small thing to worry about.

How many cars do they own? Modern verse:  Quite a few.   It’s hard to say how many actually work.   Han likes to repair cars as a pastime.   Han has two main vehicles, an old Volkswagen he calls The ‘Falcon, and a modern Celica. Luke’s work vehicle is standard issue from his work, an armored SUV.  He has an 80’s corvette as a personal ride.

Do they own their home or do they rent?They own.

Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? Do they live in the city or in the country?In the city, not far from the coast, but it’s not exactly a beachfront either.

Do they enjoy their surroundings?Han can get quite tired of Coruscant.  He often wants to visit Corellia for every vacation and pretty much tolerates when Luke takes them to Tatooine.  He’s not big on the heat.

What’s their song?Making love out of nothing – air supply.   seriously. don’t even have to listen to the song.  Just read the fucking lyrics and tell me if that’s not Han’s pov?  Actually, I’ll do you all a big favor and paste just HALF here.  this going in a read-more anyway. 

I know just how to whisper, and I know just how to cryI know just where to find the answers, and I know just how to lieI know just how to fake it, and I know just how to schemeI know just when to face the truth, and then I know just when to dreamAnd I know just where to touch you, and I know just what to proveI know when to pull you closer, and I know when to let you looseAnd I know the night is fading, and I know the time’s gonna flyAnd I’m never gonna tell you everything I’ve gotta tell you, but I know I’ve gotta give it a tryAnd I know the roads to riches, and I know the ways to fameI know all the rules and then I know how to break ‘emand I always know the name of the gameBut I don’t know how to leave you, and I’ll never let you fallAnd I don’t know how you do it — making love out of nothing at all.Everytime I see you all the rays of the sun are streaming through the waves in your hairAnd every star in the sky is taking aim at your eyes like a spotlightThe beating of my heart is a drum, and it’s lost, and it’s looking for a rhythm like youYou can take the darkness at the pit of the night And turn into a beacon burning endlessly brightI’ve gotta follow it ‘cause everything I knowWell, it’s nothing 'til I give it to you

SOMEONE TELL ME THAT’S NOT HAN WTF………………………………….THIS SONG MAKES ME FURIOUS YET  RIDICULOUSLY  HAPPY.   ok but this song makes me super emotional about Han and luke ok. seriously.  it’s my otp song for them.

What do they do when they’re away from each other?Tf?  The reason why they’re away from each other is probably because of works stuff.  If you’re talking about how they cope with being apart …. well, force sex is a thing, and there’s no doubt they have a mental bond.  Took one hell of a long time for Han to accept it, however.

Where did they first meet?Mos Eisly Cantina.Modern: that hasn’t been figured out by me LOL Plus, I don’t write with very many lukes at all (ship wise). 

How did they first meet?Wtf watch anh omg

Who spends the most money when out shopping?Shit, Han.  Han just fucking throws credits left and fucking right for Luke and Matt.  He gives 0 shits about credits when it comes to them.

Who’s more likely to flash their assets?UM   WELL.   Despite what Han says about himself, he doesn’t think much of his looks.  Luke certainly doesn’t in his later years. they’re more oblivious than anything else.  If they do, it’s completely unintentional.

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over?I highly doubt they would find amusement in tripping the other person, but if one of them tripped because of their own dumbass coordination, it’d be Luke stifling a grin vs Han’s overall concern.  Because Luke isn’t the kind of person that trips over nothing.  Something would have to be very, very wrong.

Any mental issues?LORDY.

Han:  Pts/d from the wars.  Pts/d from a traumatic childhood which leads to abandonment issues and insecurity ( why he enjoys the pressure stim, it grants him equilibrium when his loved ones touch him.  Han finds a way to ground himself to his reality that way.  Anything works. Even something as small as Matt coming up to hold his hand will violently shift his reality back to normal ).   Carbonite freeze — need I go on?  Han has some issues, but they’re all connected to what’s happened to him.

Luke:  BANGS POTS AND PANS  THIS MEME IS GOING TO MAKE ME WRITE AN ESSAY JFC.  I’m not going to elaborate his SW verse.  I would seriously go on and on over things you all have an inkling of.

Modern:  In his modern verse, Luke has severe pts.d from a car accident that killed his father who’d rode in shotgun.  Luke lost his hand in that car accident.  He has a prosthetic hand.

Who’s terrified of bugs?Shit, IDK?  Neither of them like them.  Han gets squeamish from the big bugs.  (taken from EU lol)

Who kills the spiders around the house?Han or Luke.  If it’s big, Luke does it.  Han glues himself to the ceiling to get away.

Their favorite place?Tf? This is so broad.  Anywhere that’s home. That’s where they always want to be.  But nowhere is home, not without the other.  For Han, home is where Luke is.  They will follow each other, no matter where they go.

Who pays the bills?Both. Luke forgets A LOT.  If the power cuts, you’ll usually hear Han’s wail of   'luuuKKEEE. DID YOU PAY THE BILL?’ coming from the other side of the house.   Han ends up paying often.

Do they have any fears for their future?Takes ur hand and sits u down

have u ever seen rotj or nah bc you’re in for it now fucker

Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?Han. Hands down, Han.

Who uses up all of the hot water?LUKE THE FUCKER      as I said before, he gets cold easily.  I have a headcanon that Tatooinian people have lower body temps to compensate for the heat of the twin suns.  Therefore, Luke gets fucking cold as fuck all the fucking time omg     He likes baths to wind down ( not long baths because he lacks the time, but HOT baths. ).

Who’s the tallest?SnORTS   I go by the actor heights.  Not by the official sw heights.Han: 6’1      sw height: 5’11Luke: 5’6     sw height: 5’8: )

Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?Either of them, especially if they’re running a tight schedule that day/night.  Out of pure pleasure?  Han, probably because he’s horny and shower sex is less mess.  Which, in turn, Luke will end up agreeing to sex, because he wants to sleep later, not lay in a mess or get up to clean himself.  Han can fall asleep in a mess, Luke, however, cannot and will not.

Who wanders around in their underwear?Han.  Luke tries to keep clothed but it’s hard when you have a touchy bondmate.

Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?Han, when he knows he’s alone.  Otherwise, he gets sheepish.  Luke prefers to work in silence so there aren’t any distractions.

What do they tease each other about?Luke teases Han about small stuff like his desk job getting to him and there’s more and more for him to love as of late.  ( you bet your ass he’s groping either Han’s belly or arms )Han teases Luke about similar things, their banter is usually on the same wavelength.  It’s just how they work.

Who is more likely to cringe at the others fashion sense at times?KSAJDFJDFLSKDFLKSADFJLASFDL    HAN @ LUKE’S OVERDONE SENATORIAL ROBES LOLIf Luke dresses in fancy robes with headpieces etc  ( like mom had once done )  then Han is either laughing his ass off and cracking jokes every few minutes or he’s struggling to not jump the kid while they have a second alone tbh  there’s never any fucking in-between for Han.   If he’s not hollering his ass off about the ridiculous outfit, then he’s probably vacillating between those two options. ‘Make fun of Luke or fuck him while we’re still alone for gods know how long’ 

Do they have mutual friends?Plenty!

Who crushed first?Hard to say, but I would think Luke was more….apparent about it in Mos Eisley.  

Any alcohol or substance-related problems?Ahhh, Han drinks too much as a pastime.  Han also smoked a lot in teenage years so Luke worries when he sees Han smoking an occasional cigar. When it comes to Luke — it’s not often that he drinks enough to get drunk, but when he does, he’s really fucked up over something.

Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?Shit, neither? Especially when they’ve already had Matt.  If we’re talking younger couple, it still has to be over something important. Han doesn’t get drunk easily.  Luke doesn’t either — things must not be looking good for one of them if so.

Who swears the most?Han has the mouth of a sailor.  

[storiesnstormsinmyhead-blog]

Stories we tell ourselves

Some of us are born with a natural sense of bravado and bravery. Confidence in their collect features. But many of us are not, to many, such was the case for Reynold Roy Richardson, the third son of Miguel Jonathon Richardson. Reynold Roy Richardson, Roy for short, was born with exceptionally low confidence in everything. He was averagely tall and averagely skinny and had average body type and average coloring. Just another shade of blue in the fifty eight crayon box. And although some days he wished to be something better, he had no real motives to get there and so settled with being happy with his droll, tired, average self. He could shoot a hoop from half court given enough tries, and while the guys at school thought that was pretty cool, so could everyone. However one day his life took an unexpected turn for the oddest. It started in home ec class, his usual partner who added too much salt to everything was gone for the day, so he was paired with Ruby haired Robin. Ruby haired Robin was a loner oddball who watched asian cartoons and drank real smoothies and had short red hair the stuck up at odd angles. Her doctor who sweater was too big for her and her boots too tall, her glasses seemed to eat half her face under their big frames. As she sat down he could almost feel her discontent and irritability at the long day. They made cupcakes, but instead of putting a perfect hat of frosting on them Robin dolloped a huge drippy mess of hers, they cleaned up and she stacked everything wrong and it fell down in a huge clatter. It soon became obvious to Roy that Robin was exceptionally perfect, at being completely imperfect. The next day she had a homemade beanie and they made banana bread. She tried to start conversion.

“Hey you, don’t you think miss Barreyman looks like she should be wearing a bowtie?” It was an odd question but did make sense if you saw miss Barreyman. Miss Barreyman wore power suits and high heels everyday and drank black coffee out of a gallon mug without smudging a bit of her bright red lipstick. She looked like she could have gotten away with murder in her youth, but now had tired eyes and drippy eyeliner and less perk and pep.

“Yeah sure”

“You don’t talk much, do you?” Ruby chirped, honestly would she just shut up? Why did she wanna talk to me anyways?

“No”

“Oh sorry.” lapse silence “Do you watch doctor who?”

“No, but my sister does” My freaky man obsessed sister, I borrowed her laptop once when I was ten and that's how I learned how men made love, well gay men, in her adolescent imagination.

“Oh thats cool, Supernatural?”

“What?”

“The show?”

“I don-” the bell rang, “I gotta go” finally, free from her weird conversation topics.

The next day Robin wasn’t there, salt boy was back. we made brownies, I turned my back for one second and when the brownies came out of the oven they shimmered with a fine layer of salt, he had mistaken the teaspoon for the tablespoon again. We had no conversation, but I kinda missed the weird break from normality that was Ruby haired Robin. She didn’t come back the next day, or the next day, or again. Later that week there was an article in the newspaper about a young teen girl commiting suicide. However I got a nagging sensation she was still around. Rationally she couldn’t be, but I swear I felt her irritation and discontent still, following me around. Then it happened, I was just chilling in my room gaming and eating BBQ Lays when I heard a sigh, I looked up and saw Robin, or rather a specter of her, sitting on the corner of my bed staring longingly at the bag of chips i was eating. Gone was the dark makeup and cakey foundation that looked hastily applied. In its place was a plain, but not unadorable face, slightly boyish with freckles and light lashes. hair was several shades lighter and curly in a baby pony tail, and she was wearing a huge pair of dragon pj pants and a tank top with a bow on the front. With a gasp Roy leaped from the spot on his bed and to the window and started fumbling for the latch, he had seen enough horror flicks to know what would happen next.

“Eeeek!” Robin saw his sudden scare and jumped off the bed and backed towards the door.

“Holy crap you’re dead!”

“Obviously! I’d actually be eating those chips if I could. I haven’t had anything to eat in like five days and I’m dying…” She stopped realizing the actuality of the pun “Again”

“But you’re dead, like dead!”

“Yes I am, it’s all the aliens fault.”

“Aliens?!?”

“Yes aliens!” She settled down on the bed again. “I don’t quite remember my death but I remember that there was a bright white light like a beam and I was lifted up and then it was really painful and I died, and since God doesn’t exist for me it must be aliens.”

“Okay…” This chick was clearly mad, looney, but since I was seeing ghosts didn't that make me looney as well? “So what would I do about that?”

“Well I don’t quite know why but as soon as came to you were standing right in front of me. It was at school in the home Ec lab. And since then I can't wander away from you. It’s like you’re my earthly tether?”

“Well then untether yourself! And leave me alone. I don't believe in ghosts.”

She seemed to shrink, ”I’m sorry but I don’t know how to do that!!!!!” I immediately felt both bad and embarrassed, I was yelling at a dead girl.

“No don’t be sorry, I’m sorry for yelling, but seriously, you could try to untether yourself…” Even that comment seemed stupid to me.

“Can you tell me how that game works?” She completely ignores it.

“Um sure.” I picked up my controller and proffers it to her small hands when I realize it will just fall through.

Our heroes spend the rest of the day with Roy eating chips and pointing out how different buttons work to a confused and hungry little ghost girl.

“And see, The boss has been defeated and now I just walk over using the joystick to walk and steer and can collect all my booty-” He stops when he hears a soft sighing whistle, draped across the shelf in the corner is a sleeping Robin, apparently ghosts sleep. Her face is turned away and her arms are crossed as they hang off the shelf.

“Royyyy! Dinner time!” His mother called him to the table.

“Coming!” As Roy shut the door to his small room he remembered, the dead don't need to breathe, so if Robin snored it was out of habit, a painful reminder of the times she had been full of life.

“Why do girls wear so much makeup?” Roy's questions all seemed to be common knowledge to me. I wonder why his brain hasn’t thought to comprehend these things yet, I will not say as much however because it would he horribly rude. Many things he thinks are common knowledge I have not even began to think through yet.

“Well… because they don’t believe they look good without it or desirable to the people they wish to attract. And it is a mask to hide behind so that they can face others of their species proudly without feeling inefficient. I wear- wore mine as a mask so that people would leave me alone and know I did not want to be apart of their games.”

“What games?”

“The contest between girls to be the best, like how some girls like to manipulate guys into liking them just to feel important and get all the attention because they base self worth on those things. I guess I understand how they need these things to feel alive, and I won’t oppose them unless they hurt someone I care about then I will destroy them. There are too many to oppose plus it doesn’t seem fair to deny them their existence.”

“Why do you think you’re any different?” The question is loaded and Roy knows it.

“I’m not, I just try harder not to be.” He snorts in surprise.

“Why just people who are important? What about yourself?” This seems genuine.

“I’m not very important to myself, I guess I wanted to live because anything else is scary and the effort, but I don’t see why I should be special because I don’t have any special talents and I don’t want to run around being just self important.”

“Isn’t that view a bit insulting to the people who care about you?”

“Yes, but what else do you expect me to do? Go to K-Mart and buy myself some self confidence? If I’m just a melodramatic teenager like normal this should go away soon and if I’m not I’ll just go buy something to fix it.” I can feel my translucent shoulders begin to tighten up and tears hot in my throat, I swallow them down before they spill out. Funny how even ghosts can cry, I wonder if ghost tears have magical potency? One spills and as I reach up to brush it off Roy dabs it with a sleeve.

“Hey sorry, you okay?”

“Yeah sorry I’m just overactive!”

“Come here?” He awkwardly offers me a hug, I don’t want to be rude and also, even dead girls need a hug sometimes.

She’s a fellow comrade in normalcy, and I feel sympathy, I also know how it feels to be frustrated by my lack of talent. As she accepts my hug I also feel envy, men aren’t suppose to cry.

Air rushes past us suddenly and we are flung into space violently buffeted by wind and something else like small rocks. Surprise makes me grip the only solid seeming thing around me, regardless of the weirdness of the solid. I can hear Robin screaming, or is that me? Then stillness, we are jerked into a still space and righted, well mostly…

Blinking tears out of my watering eyes I perceive colors and then images, it’s like we’re standing inside a painting, fractured images surround us in ever changing patterns and textures. Robin gives a little gasp and moves fluidly towards one. I follow not wanting to get lost inside this seeming endless maze of mirrors and illusions. I manage to grab her bare foot as she is sucked forward into the image.

Space, outer space, below the earth twinkles like a diamond covered in muddy water and around us are lights and nebulas of dust. It seems like it should be cold but I cannot feel anything, Robin gives a cry of excitement and spins in a circle laughing.

“It's just like a story I saw once!”

“Saw?” I grab at a rock floating next to me and do several slow spins in place.

“Yeah, I saw it in a dream!” She tries to right me and ends up floating the opposite direction, I grasp her wayward feet so that we are not separated. A roar buffets by us and a giant, gray, blinking mass careens past us like a torpedo. The alien saucer heads straight towards earth on a warpath. Robin gives a little yelp of fear and puts herself in front of me, like her slight body can hide me from the probing spacecraft. Fear is written on her face, and for the first time I think I may believe her a little bit about the alien story. Air rushes again and a pulling sensation drags us back, until my room swims into focus before my eyes. Robin sits against the other side of the room frozen in fear, no matter of potato chips or british shows lures her out of her spot lodged behind the door.

When she finally moves her heart is set on finding out what happened, she swears it’s somewhere, somewhere in her memory she blocked out.

I know now I have to know what happened, no matter how painful or violating the truth, a morbid part of me needs to know. If curiosity killed the cat than satisfaction brought her back. Me and Roy watch movies on aliens; independence day, alien, doctor who: the water of mars. Nothing sparks recognition. I look for scars on my body when Roy isn’t home but all I find are all my old self harm scars with my new cuts that now would never heal, just glow a subtle red against my skin. When I look at then my head hurts remembering the mood that made me do that, but it seems with my body I also shed a weight that the doctors called clinical depression, funny, it felt like a weight before, now it feels like the aliens stripped more from me than life, a part of my mind i missing. My fingers burn to hold a pencil, stupidly i try, the pencil moves an hair’s breath when I go through it. I have nothing else to do so I commit to picking up the pencil.

“Hey so you know Ruby Haired Robin?” I casually ask Bryan in the locker room.

“Yeah! That chick who liked Brian and always carried a sketchbook with her?” Bryan is a tall, athletically gifted guy with killer abs and a crisp cut look like a male model. He doesn’t have much in the way of brains but if you give him a piece of paper he can write a sonnet to make shakespeare cry.

“Yeah her! Wait she liked Dwain?” Hm interesting.

“Yeah. Why do you ask?”

“Well… do you know if they stated a cause of death?” He cringes a little.

“Morbid man, yeah it said she had been big on cutting, there were hundreds of wounds all over her body and she had bled to death from a few in her sleep.”

“Okay cool! Thanks man.”

When I got home I rushed to my room, the door flies open to reveal Robin sitting at my desk. A pencil is grasped in her hands and she is so focused on her work that she doesn’t even start when I walk in.

“You cut?”

“Yes.” Her focus is solely on the picture she is creating.

“That's what they said killed you.”

“I know”

“Why aliens then?”

She looks up finally, “Because I never cut deep enough to kill me.”

“Can I see?”

“Some of it sure.” Carefully she lifts her pants leg all the way up to show me the red angry lines marching haphazardly up her legs. “It’s not a big deal, it doesn’t even hurt anymore.”

“Okay.” It’s confusing but she doesn’t seem in pain so I let go. “You liked Dwain?”

“What is it, question the dead girl time?” She is blunt.

“Sorta… sorry I was just curious… It’s more a question about why and what a girl likes in a guy… I figured you would know!” She smiles.

“Totally! Well I like Dwain because he was nice to me and didn’t ostracize me because of my looks and attitude. It’s more a kindness crush, I like him because he was nice to me and that made me happy! Then his friends started teasing him and he left me be… no one wants to be liked by a loner if their popular like that. Why you wanna know what girls like?”

My cheeks heat up like volcanos, “Because I like someone…”

“Oooooooohhhhhhhhhh who do you liiiiiiiiikkkkkkkkkeeeee!” She drags it out like a kid would.

“Marina….” “Marina K?”

“Yeah…”

“She’s really pretty, just watch out she’s one of the get them to like you just because girls. Play hard to get.” Robin bounces up and down laughing, “ Roy and Marina sitting in a tree, K I S S I N G! First comes loooove then comes marriage! Then comes Roy with a baby carriage!” Robin pokes me in the side and giggles, “And we both know how you get babies since neither of us were absent from health class.”

“You remember who was in that class?” “Totally, most of the people were too embarrassed to look up, but I’ve been familiar with that stuff for a long time and it was fun watching them all blush and nervously giggle.” Thoughtfully she adds, “well knowing Marina you won't have to wait till marriage for babymaking… just babies.”

“Were your parents doctors of something?”

“Sorta, why?”

“Well you were previously associated with the process of babymaking…”

“My dad’s a gynecologist assistant and my mom is a midwife. They didn't think their daughter should be left in the dark about one of the oldest acts of mankind so they got me a few books.”

“Wow, your parents are crazy…” She shrugs her shoulders.

“Maybe to some people, but to me it’s just how I was raised and I wouldn’t ask for anything else!” A dark cloud seems to form in her visage, “I’m really gonna miss that… Damn! Why did I have to die!” Her shoulders start to shake. “It felt like a dream until now, a dream I could wake up from, but I really am dead… And being dead sucks.”

Damn it, my eyes are burning and my nose is tingling in it’s odd, sharp way. I miss my mom and dad so much, my misunderstood, passive father and my hypersensitive, overexpressing mother. Roy looks concerned but I don’t want to be helped, I want to not think or exist anymore. Roy gasps and runs forward but his hands pass through me and when I look down in morbid curiosity, I cannot see myself at all. Then the world goes black for me.

Am I really dead this time? No… I’m just sleeping. No. Im awake, just everything but my mind has faded. I’m guessing I will die soon, again, but the only regret I have is not being able to tell my mother sorry for our fight and for dying, same to my dad. Damn this is stupid, why can’t it be anyone but me! I would happily go back to my disease ridden, messed up body to fix this. But I can’t, I really can’t, and I was stupid if I ever thought I could. After all this is all my fault.

She’s gone! She vanished, one moment so real, the next gone in a wink of the imagination. Snatched away like death took her again, mind, body, and soul. Like static. The air wavers for a second, then again, she flickers back into existence. I almost rush to hug her before I remember, then I pause. Her eyes look tired, like she left something behind when she reappeared.

The rest of the week pasts like a gray rainstorm, time drags on like a tired packhorse. Slowly and worn down until I felt like a walking corpse of a walking dreamer. The boring days of old seem rose tinged to me now compared to the ominous presence in my home. Robin had vanished again off and on when she felt like it and didn’t want to be seen crying ghostly tears. I looked at the drawing she had made to try to figure out what had happened, was it an omen… or was that just my desperate hopes?

In my dreams we frantically searched for her death among the fractile memories scattered in her mind. We searched massive desert plains with beautiful rose sponged skies on the verge of night as the sun tumbled down the throat of nighttime. We scoured the bottoms of ocean so deep that they crushed everything into itself and no light could reach into the murky waters, once you were immersed the only way you could go was down. But while I searched she stayed quiet, distracted. That is until the fourth tuesday in november.

“Roy!”

“Hgrm….”

“Roy!”

“Rrrrrrrr!”

“Roy RoyRoyRoyRoyRoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“What!!!!!!!!!” I sit upright and to my great horror Robin is chilling at my bedside shaking me awake.

“You sound like an angry twelve year old.”

“What do you want!!!!!!”

“I wanna have an adventure!”

“It’s too early for this…”

“It’s never too early for an adventure!” She chirps. God I want to strangle the dead girl.

“Yes it is!” I roll over and try to ignore her.

“Nope!” Her statement could have been followed by a cheery emojicon it sounded so ridiculous. To make matters worse as soon as my back was turned she put her icy hands through my back.

“S-Stop it!” She wiggles her fingers in front of my face, sometimes she is as solid as a wall other times as thin and vapor.

“I’m dead but I’m still here and I wanna enjoy everything I can!” She pouts then puffs hair off her forehead and to the side.

“Just ten more min.”

“Royyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.”

“Shhhhhh!”

“I will haunt you until the day you die.” Her threat rouses me from my slumber, no way in hell do I want her to witness my final moments or in fact the rest of my life.

“Fine, where do you wanna go?” I sigh and ruffle my hair.

“I want to go get closure so that I can move on into death.” This answer comes as a surprise!

“Why?”

“Because earth is hell and I want to go into nothing so I am no longer reminded of what I could have done or had. I don’t want to have to see my parent grieve or my existence slowly vanish until I become lost without worldly possessions and isolated until I become simply mad, I wish to go with peace.”

“Okay.” Though sad I thought it sounded completely reasonable. Being forgotten would be painful. “Where will we go?”

“I think I know, I remembered something when I vanished and I’ve been stuck here for a while, it's vague but I think if you help me we can figure out what happened!” She holds out her hands and I hesitantly grab them. A fuzzy warm vortex sucks us up in a silent vwoosh feeling.

Instead of the fearful nothingness that swallowed me up before I feel a warm calm, like acceptance. I had accepted the lonely knowledge that I had ceased to exist for my mother and father. When I had vanished I had gone to see them, I tried to talk to them but they just sat there at the table, my spot sat empty and a sullen silence engulfed the dinner. That had been the final straw, the piece that told me I was good and truly dead. My stuff had been moved and my clothes had been given to goodwill. Nothing remained of my stone collection, even my beautiful river rock paul was gone. There was no way for me to go back to my old life. No way to fix the problem. I was gone, I just hadn't let go. At first I had cried, I was unfair and horrible. I went back to Roy and sat beside him, he couldn’t see me. Life felt unbearable. Then I had appeared and saw his concern. I wanted to indulge in the feeling of being needed and cared about. But I knew I had to say goodbye to everything. It was painful. But I slowly grew accustomed to the feeling, when it became too much I went back to Roy. Now I just wanted to stop all together. I would like to say I am at peace, but to tell the truth, no, no peace for the walking dead.

So we flew forward propelled by that foggy recollection of a memory of mine. A memory I feel I must both dread and accept as a last piece of the puzzle of my death. I’m to scared to go at this alone so I took Roy with me because despite the extremely short and tumultuous times I have know him he has provided the most comfort to me of any person in my life. It’s not love or attraction of any sort, he has simply been kind and shown me support that I had not found anywhere else. In return I wished to give him closure in my demise so he was not left confused or guilty in any way.

I alight upon the asphalt of a sidewalk beneath a shiny street lamp. Dusk pulls over the hills in ribbons of smoky blue and clear soft purple and hazy clouds. Familiar lights glow from a familiar home. This isn’t the real thing but it feels so achingly like it my resolve almost wavers. Then I see a figure move.

Another Robin is inside that house, she’s in her room with a book clutched in her hands, it looks so small. She sniffs ungracefully and wipes the snot away from her nose, her eyes are red rimmed and her cheeks look raw and blotchy. She sets the book down and pulls the leg of her dragon pants all the way to her hip. Red lines across her hips ooze blood, she seems to inspect the wound before slowly letting the pants drop down. Next to me Robin stands stiffly, frozen as if in a trance. The image Robin seems to float to the bed and sit down. She snuggles down into the blankets, the scene looks peaceful even after the life fades from her skin, if you ignore the widening stain of red across her sheets. The Robin next to me is shaking and looks petrified. All of her natural seeming bravado is gone and all that left is a scared girl stripped of all her worldly possessions.

I have realised, that is not what happened exactly, it feels too neat, too fake. I wouldn’t have given up just like that. That’s not right.

At home again I sit tiredly spinning a basketball on my finger. Around and around it goes like the thoughts in my head. What was that light, why did Robin cut? Didn’t it hurt? Robin sits on my window sill and chews restlessly on her nails. Tiny, shimmery, crescent moon nail shards tumble from her fingers occasionally. Her cute features are twisted into a mask of concentration as she mulls over something. I can tell something didn’t sit right with her. “It was to perfect.”

“What?”

“My death.”

“How so?”

“I am a naturally imperfect person with many flaws and bad traits yet I died like a F***ing princess.” Sadly I think I agree, when I first met Robin I could feel her impatience and her imperfections radiating from her body, I cannot imagine someone with that much irritation could die without a complaint, hypnosis or not. “I may have seen my death but I don’t know what lead up to that. What made me want to lay down and give up?”

“What day was it?” Dread gnaws at my stomach.

“Tuesday… I think.” Oh god. “Yeah tuesday!” It had been the day we had talked.

“Do you remember anything?”

“No. Why?” We lapse into silence.

After a long pause, “Didn’t we talk that day? Barreyman and the bowtie?”

“Y-Yeah!”

“What did I seem like?”

I think back and remember her that day, “happy, chipper, and very very talkative!”

“Desperate”, she murmurs under her breath.

“Huh?”

“Nothing”, She turns away, but not before I catch a fleeting glimpse of her face, pinched with worry, her lower lip disappearing completely into her mouth.

“Cool cool.” I don’t know how to help her so I pick up my game boy and try to not think of her, she slowly vanishes, almost hesitantly.

Now I am back in ghost space, I know my presence near Roy was making him feel uncomfortable, after all it was me who died and invaded his personal space, I at least owed him the courtesy to have a mental breakdown outside of his presence. So I was desperate that day, then that begged the question what triggered this? It was obviously before Home Ec class or I would have been fine that day. What was so bad it had kept me down all day?

“Did you keep a diary?”

“Huh?”

“Did you, keep a, diary!”

“Sorta.” I slowly reappear into normal space. The only thing that can penetrate my ghost space is words I need to hear.

“Why don’t you go and look through it?”

“Well that might be difficult.”

Roy shifts to look at me over his shoulders, “Why?”

“The police confiscated it…”

“Oh okay.”

“Wanna help me get it?”

“Breaking and entering?! Are you kidding me!!! Try and stop me!” In movies the heroes always seemed to have to steal something and there was always a cool getaway scene with a cute chick and a car chase. It sounded like the perfect way to break the seal on my incredibly boring life, not that Robin hadn’t already done that, although her small a-gender cuteness took away from the mystery and just made her seem childish…

“Today? It’s in a back lab of evidence!” Robin looks nervous, I wonder what is up with her, maybe she doesn’t want me to see her diary.

“How should we get in?”

“Okay so-”

Her diary is small and compact and fits almost in my pocket, the little heart shaped lock is cheap and fragile and the keys jangle behind me as I sprint full force towards the parking lot. It took way too much effort to get in and fool the officers in the first place.

“Halt!!! Mr. John!!!!!” Two officers pound down the hall after me belts clanging. They aren’t quite willing to take out their guns yet because of who I said I was. After all they wouldn’t dare shoot Robin’s boyfriend, whom grief stricken stole her diary from the station to hear the last words of his dear departed love.

Dodging arounds a secretary desk out front I hurdle past the surprised desk attendant and out the swinging doors. Alarms blare, triggered most likely by the magnetic strip inside the diary hidden so that thieves would have trouble finding it. Next to me Robin shouts barely comprehensible, “Roy! Keys!” A wad of keys flies at me from the blur of color streaking by and I catch them. The first vehicle in the lot is a blue and white motorcycle. I grasp the handles and swing on starting the engine with the smallest key on the ring. It roars to life and ghostly hands clasp around my waist in a light embrace. I kick off and we are streaking across the road at seventy in no time. It feels like flying and I know that if we ever make it free of this mess I want a bike like this one. Adrenaline rushes like the blood in my ears muffling everything except my heart, my heart beat seems to be the beat of the world as I turn into the curves of the road. Police cars follow with blaring sirens and blinding lights. Robin squeezes my waist and suddenly we vanish from their view like an invisibility cloak was pulled over us. When I am sure we have lost them, confused and bewildered we drop the getaway vehicle at a streambed and trudge through the culvert upstream at least a mile before making our way to a local park. Exhausted I plop onto a swing back in the woods below a large old apple tree and take out the diary. Robin leans over my shoulder and we flip the the entries closer to the last one.

To Delinx Quarte

School still sucks, yeah I know I’ve said that to many times. I see no point to complete it if I feel like this no matter what I try to do with my life. My therapist tells me it's called clinical depression, I hope it goes away before I have to pay the bills. My energy is basically null and void. I guess at least you're there to listen to me.

To Delinx Quarte

Brian has shunned me for the eighth time this week, I guess I get it, I mean I’m the one who told Kristy I liked him and even if she said she wouldn’t tell, its high school. I guess I’m just stupid for thinking someone like him could talk to me after knowing such an ugly truth.

To Delinx Quarte

Roses are red

Violets blue

Im sad af

So F u to

To Delinx Quarte

Thank you for talking to me all the time.

“Talking to you all the time?” I look questioningly at Robin. To answer she picks up the book and shakes it. A small phone falls out, when I pick it up and flip it open it turns on with a whoosh noise. The screen clears and four new messages blink on the screen.

Robin I’m sorry for slashing, you shouldn’t have run, please come back I’ll bring you to a good doctor!

Robin?

Robin are you there?

Answer me goddamn it!!!!!!!!!!

As I flip through her phone the name Delinx Quarte makes sense, horrible sense. This Delinx claimed to be an alien, or he role played one. He told fantastical stories about beautiful worlds far away and amazing adventures, seriously he sounded like an author. One even make sickening sense as the space saucer heading for earth. He called Robin a petite princess and flattered her with praise for her ingenuity. He listened to her stories she told of cruel classmates and lulled her into false trust with pretty words. He even claimed to be a twenty year old lesbian. Robin told him about having no friends, and her lying confidents, and her crush who ignored her. She leaned on him and never questioned his motives besides being good and nice. Then he said he liked her. Told her what an intelligent girl she was, not like those other high school bimbos. He said they should meet and make cosplay for the next con, his place. The address sounded remote. Robin had her license and drove there herself.

Shakily Robin looks at me and in a small voice tells me what happened there, “I got there and it was ramshackled. She- sorry he didn’t wanna meet in the city because he said his anxiety would flare up.. I went to the door and he answered. I was surprised but he convinced me he meant no harm he just wanted me to be comfortable talking to me… Then we went inside, I was scared but I didn’t want to be rude… Then he starts talking all heavily. He’s an older man almost thirty and balding with grease stains on his saggy clothes and he had a ton of anime body pillows all over the place and his top pick in netflix wa my little pony! I didn’t wanna know what was in the corner… I asked him to not sit so close, even said I had a boyfriend now… But he knew too much and got mad at me for lying, he said I owed him for listening to my whining. I cried and he begged my forgiveness… I tried to run but he chased me, he had a knife and threatened me but I didn’t wanna get raped or killed so I ran, he slashed me on the thigh so deeply that my leg went numb in a few minutes. Then I got away and drove home. My parents weren’t home and I tried to dress the wound, my seats are black and I thought it was shallower. I realized it was to the bone and then I fainted from blood loss. I guess I bled to death… So I was killed by my friend who liked to pretend to be an alien and turned out to be a “Nice Guy”... Kinda pathetic.”

“Are you gonna let him get away with murder?”

“No…”

“Go get him girl!”

“What do I do?”

“Hide his porn stash, replace his anime pillows with guy anime pillows. Subscribe him to a yaoi(guy on guy) site where pre adolescent girls write fanfiction, put hot sauce in his lube… hide his wallet, and put password encoded age restrictions on his netflix so he has to watch g rated films forever. And then scrawl in ketchup on his mirror, I am always watching you. Then leave, and he’ll be paranoid forever.”

“You are truly satan Roy.” Robin smiles devilishly.

I never saw her again, she left and I was left to clean up my life. I faced community service for my crimes however the crime was solved with my help and when the police found the man he was sitting in the dark with a circle of salt surrounding him watching my little pony with horrible burns. He was arrested and sent to an asylum by his own convictions. I assume Robin went away peacefully after doing her part, maybe she stayed and saw his arrest however I believe she just left. I attended her funeral, her mother cried, her father left the room a lot. Brian was there, I could tell his consciousness was heavy with the idea he had contributed to someone's death or been able to prevent it but not done that, he was never the same. Her so called friends Kristy and Lillian were there, her therapist, and her extended family that could drive in from california to oregon. When I went up to view the casket I saw her cold face, beautifully made up in professional makeup, honestly it was weird, I missed the face only I knew, her real face and her faded hair all curly. Her cuts were hidden with a long dress and sleeves. After the funeral her mother approached me.

“Roy?”

“Yes..?”

“Okay, funny I’ve never met you, thank you for being such a good friend to my daughter! She left you something… I was almost like she knew she was going away…” Sadly she handed me an envelope with a hastily scrawled name on the front. Robin's mother was pale and mousy, her nervous eyes reminded me of a rabbits, hopping from place to place.

Dear Roy,

Thank you for being the truest friend I’ve ever had, you never lied to me and you helped me when I needed you most! You're my hero. Good luck with Marina, make her chase you… Sorry I can’t be your best man! Thank you! Enclosed is a remembrance gift!

Inside the package was a small drawing of a boy with a roguish expression on his face and a girl laughing openly riding on a motorbike that was blue and white. They seemed suspended in time carfree. I hung it on my wall, to this day I still muse over its detail and how the pencil has not faded yet.

Robin was the best and the worst thing to happen to me. I was labeled a criminal and a hero, I became not normal but am still unsure on how to become normal or not normal. It never worked out with Marina, she was to flakey and flirty. I married a beautiful, smart nerd at the age of thirty and started a family. Life runs smoothly and I wonder how Robin is doing, heaven? Rebirth? Whatever she is doing I hope she is happy as I am.