#I should’ve sent this to begin with instead of immaturely engaging with your past bs and stooping to your level

[vodkadoll98]

Just a PSA: Some people can bring out the worst in you from the toxic behaviors they’ve distributed and if they can’t admit that, they’ll never get it or grow as a person.

No, I shouldn’t have messaged you at all and let you stay delusional because you never liked to listen to opposite views regarding your behavior or take responsibility when it comes to someone you don’t like. I felt guilty after messaging you harshly from that eating disorder awareness account because I do have a conscience despite whatever you believe about me. I didn’t think you’d take the overall message seriously if I had made my identity clear, but it didn’t matter anyway to you. However it’s true that willingly promoting dangerous behaviors for attention and play is not positive or beneficial, and you’ve seen the picture of what fat does to your heart. It’s not empowering and it’s not just fantasy if it will affect your real life. Ask your doctor about it and see what he/she says. Also, harassing people from multiple different accounts with immature lies/nasty jokes long after you’ve cut ties (Telling a family member to message a former friend and threaten to behead them, DEFEND IT, but play as if you weren’t involved at all) and posting a bunch of misinforming TikToks to slander them but then acting surprised when they message you even though it was wrong/immature to stoop to your level, you will get what you give in life. “I should just let people do whatever they want to me?” Same here, even though most likely no sane person would believe someone who’s been in and out of mental hospitals several times and constantly posts about their drama like a 14 year old, blaming literally everyone else but themselves. It’s time to act your age instead of whining when things don’t go your way. Nobody owes you SHIT.

People with god complexes have excuses for everything. No I wasn’t perfect in our friendship and I’ve admitted that. I picked up some pretty unhealthy behaviors from you and other people/projected certain things dumb onto you from my past as well as you did to me, but you DID give me trauma that you won’t admit to, so why should anyone believe what you say? The world doesn’t have to kiss your ass in order to be unproblematic. If you constantly blame everyone else for your wrongdoings to defend yourself when you’re acting like someone else is bad for doing the same thing, that’s beyond comprehension. You’re a hypocrite. When you willingly engaged in/made up the idea for some of those things but it’s not your fault at all in your head, you are toxic.

Funny to call people like me transphobic when there are trans people out there who publicly agree with us but are shunned by much of the LGBT community because god forbid anyone doesn’t agree with them, even their own people. It’s delusional for you to think I wanted to leave you for only one reason when you were constantly destroying yourself in every way possible and messing up my nervous system, not to mention the fact that so many people in my life were baffled by the stability you openly showed that you lack, and thought it was best for me to no longer contact you. Most of your friends that are equally as mentally unstable as you, telling you that I was abusive from whatever you said has no relevance or true knowledge. It is in no way equal or logical for numerous reasons. I don’t even have to say it because looking at them and hearing about their actions/behaviors was enough. The others who may be closer to sane you manipulated because you’re good at that, much like your parent you despise and say you’re nothing like. People never want to hear the other side of the story.

“Don’t be angry because I decided to grow up,” okay.. so posting TikToks of yourself with binkies in your mouth, drawing childish furries to escape responsibility for your actions, never owning up to anything that you’ve done wrong, posting all of your personal info about your life publicly that literally no one needs to know but you and people close to you just to get attention, posting on your story you don’t believe you’ve ever grown up internally and that you’re likely just playing pretend, promoting stuffing yourself up until you get health issues and thinking that people who engage in that “fantasy” actually love you and want you to be healthy (which is twisted if you look at it from an outside perspective), calling anyone who doesn’t agree with your identity when you’ve changed your pronouns and sexuality nonstop bc you can’t seem to make up your mind a transphobe/bigot, saying you feel like a different person constantly, asking your friend if you’re actually trans and then insisting later on it wasn’t from self doubt but rather judgment, openly talking about your privates on your account and bragging about them but insisting you’re still a trans male with real dysphoria, telling your friend when you edged yourself and say you’ll need to talk to them about your sexual attraction/actions with females when they’re not comfortable because of their past, say you would make out with literally anyone but that doesn’t mean you’re attracted to them, make fun of your friend’s interests as a joke but then get offended suddenly when they do the same with you and proceed to call them unsupportive, get pissed that your friend didn’t believe in something that isn’t supported by science and is claimed by people who face many mental issues, defend posting about taking blood baths and downing a bunch of pills ironically after someone respectfully says they don’t want to be friends anymore and say suddenly that it wasn’t for that reason, defend shoplifting and acting like a baby as a legal adult in public, dress as the complete opposite gender than what you want to be referred to as and then get pissed when people point it out because you supposedly face dysphoria, thinking literally everything about your former friend is the same as it used to be because you’re projecting your insecurities onto them.. all of that isn’t childish or delusional at all? I beg to differ. You defend literally all of these behaviors. That is the opposite of growing up.

Whether you want to accept it or not, you influenced me in bad ways and guilted me into staying in your life because I felt sorry and terrified for you. I had to sit there shaking and crying SO MANY TIMES, wondering if you were going to kill yourself after you made it clear you had the intention to harm yourself in dangerous ways. You ended up in the mental hospital joking around as if everything was fine, and expect me to say you were a healthy and good friend to be around??? You shoplifted in front of me and justified it. We both could’ve gotten arrested. I told you to put it back but you didn’t listen. You decided to steal from a very valuable alcohol bottle from my grandmother but justified it because I drank some with you too. You elbowed her aggressively out of the way as you were walking by during the house drama and gave her a bruise. You shoved my mother and father back, but when your father did this to you, you cried that it was assault. You banged hard on my house from the outside and hit yourself in the head repeatedly instead of trying to calm the situation and prove that you’re mentally stable. You edited pictures of people you didn’t like in the most immature ways like a preteen, posted it when I told you it’s not a good idea, and then got pissed when they messaged you about it. You told me it was wrong to not want to hang out in public with someone in a fursuit and not want to watch lesbians make out or act sexual in public because it makes me uncomfortable due to embarrassing reminders of my past. I’m sorry but dressing up as a furry to go to the store, the park, or for god sakes in my damn backyard, is not normal to do as an adult and I do not as an adult woman NEED to be okay with and do everything you want me to, yet you expected me to do/be okay with EVERYTHING you wanted or I was automatically abusive? Get help is all I can say. You blame everyone possible but never stop to think about yourself. Look deep inside yourself if you’re able and question your actions. If you are not messed up like your parents then act like it.

I won’t name you out of respect, because I know I’m a good person. I am not immature or petty enough to do that. I’m proud of myself for how far I’ve come since we cut each other off. I acknowledge my past wrongs and I’ve grown from them just like I’ll grow all throughout my life like everyone else, but I won’t blame myself for things that I know were done for my own well-being. I’ve changed so so much within a few months after we stopped communicating and accomplished things in my life that people told me I never could. It’s been nearly two years now but it’s felt like many more with my growth and change of mind, and I’ve surrounded myself with better people. I really hope for people like you to realize one day though, they are not the saints/Gods they think they are. Spend time alone and think about everything you’ve done and if all of it was reasonable or if you could be wrong about some of it. It will change your life. Believe me.