#I still don't understand the difference between this and act 1 (which ran perfectly)

[scribblingface]

I thought I was done with copious lag when I left the shadow curse behind but no. everywhere aboveground in the lower city lags like hell. I need to return to my beloved sewers where the game runs

[ramp-it-up]

Scene Stealer

Pairing: Rafael Casal x Reader

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: Minors DNI, a little angst, some language, a smidge of jealousy, but mostly just fluff! No smut! 😃 All errors my own.

A/N: This an ask from @wreakhavoconmacroissantdiggs for the Show Runner AU.  I really love these two. Hope you enjoy, Loves! 💚

Read the previous part, Sundancer .

Hi lovely! Idk if your still doing requests right now? If you are can I have a fluffy/soft-ish moment between Rafa and reader? In the Showrunner AU and reader is actively filming a scene and Rafa's being difficult, lol

Your relationship was the talk of the town, especially since you accompanied Rafael on the red carpet of his latest win; it also happened to be your first nomination.

Ever since you went public, you were content with being ‘partners.’ You, especially, said there was no need for anything more. You didn’t want to tie Rafael to you, because you didn’t own him. 

Art was the most important thing, not a conflict diamond and a piece of paper.

Rafael quickly agreed. After all, it had been his manifesto. You two had a perfect understanding. Until you got this role. 

This gig required you to dance, and you hadn’t used your classical training in a while. You were nervous as hell.

“Who does music videos with this big a budget any more?”

You just rolled your eyes as Rafa as he delivered the shade. He would never outright say that he didn’t want you to do it; he always supported you, but you could tell it bothered him.

There was a slight tension in the air in the days leading up to filming, but you both pretended nothing was up. You were busy with rehearsal, so you brushed the thoughts of this shift in your relationship aside.

Maybe he was a little tight because you told him that the singer could definitely get it during a cast party before you two were a thing. Except in Rafael’s mind. 

Rafa had taken mental notes on everything about you, and this one he didn’t forget. But, he loved you, and he was going to ride for you.  Right?

----------------

On the day of the shoot, Rafa pulled up to the studio at about 1:30. He agreed to meet you there when you invited him for moral support.  You’d been there since 11 am.

He shook his head to himself as he was shown to your dressing room, lamenting the fact that he didn’t bring Diggs, because he would be the one needing moral support today.

Rafael knocked on the door and heard you say, "Come in!"

He walked in and saw you in a big, poofy, but short wedding dress. A more elaborate ballet tutu, but still definitely a wedding dress. Rafael was thrown for a loop, so he just stood there, taking you in.  He felt like he was breaking a rule, looking at you in this dress.

You looked absolutely amazing.

The make up artist was working on you, but you turned around and grinned when you saw him in the mirror.

Rafa felt like he needed to sit down. 

"What do you think?"

Rafael actually couldn't think. He looked down and noticed that you had your pointe shoes on. They matched your skin tone perfectly and extended your lovely legs. 

He began to feel warm, a heat which began in his chest and radiated throughout his entire torso. But he was a thug.  He tried to express it.

"You look beautiful...." 

His throat was dry. What the fuck was wrong with him?

To you, Rafa looked a bit like a fish, his mouth opening and closing with no sound coming out.

"What?" You cocked your head at him.

Rafa recovered and moved toward you. ‘Keep your cool,’ he thought.

You  shrugged at him, turned back around to the mirror, and continued. 

"I would never actually wear anything like this. It's too poofy and big. Too princess-y. Not my style." You grimaced.

"You look beautiful." It finally came out.

Rafael smiled, feeling an overwhelming desire to kiss you. The makeup artist exited and Rafa was left staring at you in the mirror again. You were a vision. 

He cleared his throat, deciding to lighten the mood.

"Can I climb under that dress and do what I want to do?"

You threw your head back and laughed. Once again, Rafael was caught in your spell.

"I'm working babe, but we can arrange something later..."

‘Whatever you say, my love,’ Rafael thought. 

But what he said was, "Cool."

--------

When filming started, Rafael stood out of the way behind the camera to watch. It was a church scene and apparently what you had to do was dance down the aisle to the altar for the wedding scene.

You were lowkey checking for Rafa, and everytime you looked over, he was glowering at you, the set up, or back seat directing. You could read him like a book, and he was not amused or positive about this.

That only made you more tense and out of the zone. You began to regret inviting him.  What was his problem? Was he jealous? He was being an ass, and you were going to tell him about himself later.

You ignored him as you stretched to get ready for another take. You were not going to let him ruin this for you.

---------

Rafael saw you and melted. He watched, mesmerized, as you danced toward the star of the video. Rafael’s heart clenched when you reached them and kissed them lightly on the lips. 

It happened at least six times for the different takes and angles, and Rafa had visions of dragging you away from there, but he remained calm.

Rafael had no idea that his emotions were so loud. All pretense, all acting skills, all professionalism went out of the window the moment he saw you in that wedding dress.  

He just did not think this production was up to the standard of you. And he caught on to the interactions between you and the star of the video between takes. It was not cool

You  ran through a couple more takes and finally it was time for the last scene, the love scene.

You were whisked back into your dressing room for a wardrobe change. Rafa paced up and down in the hallway to calm himself down. After a few minutes he thought it worked.

Until you came back out.

You were in the sexiest black nightgown he'd ever seen. And those heels. You looked hot as fuck. But when he looked into your eyes, it was clear that you were terrified. 

"Rafa, I don't think I can do this. I'm not feeling it…” Nerves were getting to you. 

“They are sooo not like I thought they were. They're kind of…. There’s no chemistry. And I’m a hack actor if I can’t do this…”  You bowed your head, ashamed.

Rafa hooked his fingers under your chin and brought your head up. He looked at you sternly. He was angry. But not at you.

“Energy up. Expectations down.” 

You tried to respond with a brave smile, but you were really about to burst into tears. Rafael grabbed your hand and pulled you back into your dressing room. He made sure to lock the door.

You thought you knew what he wanted.

“Rafa, we don’t have time for that, I…”

“C’mere.”  

Rafael hushed you and grabbed your hand, pulling you into his embrace. His large hand was on your lower back, and he held your other to his chest, beginning a slow dance to music only he could hear.  

You looked up at him quizzically and raised your eyebrow.

“Rafa, what…”

“I know that we talked about not seeing the need for marriage in this crazy world, and that we are married to our art, but take a little mind excursion with me…”

You fell into rhythm with him as he began to whisper-sing “Hideaway.” 

…See you’ve had the wrong plan

been sipping the wrong wine

Ay ay… let me put you on my vibe.

“Imagine we’re dancing at our wedding…”

You snapped your head up and looked in his emerald eyes. They twinkled down at you.

“I said, ‘imagine.’ This is just an exercise.”

“I would write a new song just for you and sing it while we’re dancing and get you wet for me but make you wait until after we party all night with our friends to get some.”

He smiled down at you and you were with it, getting into the fantasy. You swayed with him a little longer and smiled back up at him. Rafael’s stomach flipped.

So of course he twirled you away from him and back into his arms. His hand moved down your back to your ass.

“Seeing you in this would be the perfect wedding present. Imagine me waiting on you, not wanting to wait any more to touch you, taste you. Make you a mama.”

You stopped and stared at Rafael.

“….That’s quite the imagination you have there…”

Rafa stared back at you. “I am a creator. I create wild musings.” He turned you around to face the mirror. 

“Use it.” 

He put his hands in your satin covered hips. 

“Pretend you’re a woman who would want that. Marriage. A husband who would cherish you and try to make you happy.” 

Rafael bent down to hug you from behind, pressing his cheek aside yours.

You gazed at your reflections in the mirror. In that moment at least, you were that woman.

Rafael kissed your neck. You closed your eyes and you felt it before you opened them, but when you did, he had stepped away.

“Now go out there and pretend that person is what that woman wants.” Rafael looked at you in that way one more time before he cleared his throat and looked down.

You straightened up and walked toward the door. 

“Thanks for the fantasy, Cash.” You looked back at him.

Rafa winked at you. “Anytime.”

——-

Three hours later, after you’d killed the scene and production had wrapped, Rafa waited for you in the parking lot, smoking and dialing Diggs on the phone.

“Whattup. D. I need you to talk me out of buying a rock.”

--------

Tag List:

@braidedchallah @theatrenerd86 @sebastianabucknettastan @imatyoursurrvicesurr @riiyy @lonelydance @jbrizzywrites @honeysucklechocolatedrippin @anh1020 @sillyteecup @ohsoverykeri @theselilwonders @biafbunny @summerofsnowflakes @honeysucklechocolatedrippin @wreakhavoconmacroissantdiggs @janthonybitch

[calmgotmelike]

Hey guys! So this is something I wrote awhile ago and idk if y’all will like it but wanted to post it 😊 let me know what you think and/or if I should write more. If you have any questions about horse stuff feel free to message me! The cover page has all the horses on it! I’ll reboot with the order of which horse is which.

5sos x horses; Luke Hemmings x Nicole

Chapter​ ​1

The​ ​trailer​ ​door​ ​swung​ ​open​ ​and​ ​a​ ​beautiful​ ​chestnut​ ​warmblood​ ​backed​ ​out​ ​with​ ​his​ ​head​ ​held​ ​high​ ​and​ ​his​ ​tail brushing​ ​against​ ​his​ ​legs,as​ ​he​ ​swishes​ ​it​ ​back​ ​and​ ​forth.​ ​His​ ​name​ ​was​ ​etched​ ​on​ ​the​ ​silver​ ​plate​ ​attached​ ​to​ ​the cheek​ ​piece​ ​of​ ​his​ ​orange​ ​halter.​ ​The​ ​scripture​ ​was​ ​neat​ ​and​ ​straight,​ ​etched​ ​in​ ​all​ ​capital​ ​letters​ ​"CRASH"​ ​centered in​ ​the​ ​middle​ ​of​ ​the​ ​plate.​ ​Crash​ ​was​ ​a​ ​heck​ ​of​ ​a​ ​horse,​ ​strong​ ​and​ ​trained​ ​to​ ​the​ ​t.​ ​He​ ​excelled​ ​in​ ​everything​ ​he​ ​did. He​ ​won​ ​almost​ ​all​ ​the​ ​Jumper​ ​shows​ ​he​ ​entered​ ​and​ ​excelled​ ​in​ ​dressage.​ ​Crash​ ​was​ ​sent​ ​to​ ​my​ ​farm​ ​as​ ​a retirement​ ​home,​ ​even​ ​though​ ​he's​ ​only​ ​about​ ​6.​ ​His​ ​owner​ ​decided​ ​that​ ​he​ ​should​ ​retire​ ​from​ ​the​ ​show​ ​life​ ​and​ ​just be​ ​a​ ​normal​ ​horse​ ​so​ ​I​ ​bought​ ​him​ ​to​ ​teach​ ​people​ ​how​ ​to​ ​jump​ ​and​ ​use​ ​him​ ​as​ ​a​ ​beginner​ ​level​ ​show​ ​horse.​ ​I​ ​took Crash​ ​from​ ​the​ ​trailer​ ​hand​ ​and​ ​led​ ​him​ ​into​ ​the​ ​barn.

The​ ​barn​ ​had​ ​about​ ​12​ ​stalls​ ​with​ ​an​ ​attached​ ​indoor​ ​riding​ ​arena​ ​at​ ​the​ ​end.​ ​There​ ​were​ ​6​ ​sets​ ​of​ ​cross​ ​ties in​ ​the​ ​isle​ ​between​ ​the​ ​stalls.​ ​There​ ​was​ ​a​ ​room​ ​5​ ​stalls​ ​deep​ ​on​ ​the​ ​left​ ​that​ ​was​ ​filled​ ​with saddles,halters,leads,bridles,​ ​and​ ​everything​ ​the​ ​horses​ ​needed​ ​along​ ​with​ ​their​ ​food.All​ ​the​ ​stalls​ ​led​ ​out​ ​to​ ​long stretched​ ​out​ ​paddocks,​ ​leaving​ ​the​ ​horses​ ​plenty​ ​of​ ​room​ ​to​ ​run​ ​and​ ​graze.​ ​All​ ​the​ ​horses​ ​were​ ​outside​ ​in​ ​their pastures​ ​when​ ​we​ ​entered​ ​the​ ​barn​ ​and​ ​​ ​I​ ​brought​ ​Crash​ ​into​ ​the​ ​4the​ ​stall​ ​on​ ​the​ ​left.​ ​I​ ​released​ ​the​ ​lead​ ​from​ ​the place​ ​it​ ​was​ ​clipped​ ​on​ ​his​ ​halter,​ ​letting​ ​him​ ​loose​ ​in​ ​his​ ​stall.​ ​He​ ​instantly​ ​gulped​ ​up​ ​some​ ​water​ ​and​ ​moved​ ​to​ ​his hay​ ​with​ ​a​ ​wag​ ​of​ ​his​ ​tail.​ ​After​ ​waving​ ​off​ ​the​ ​trailer​ ​hand,​ ​i​ ​climbed​ ​up​ ​into​ ​the​ ​hay​ ​loft​ ​and​ ​pushed​ ​down​ ​8​ ​bales​ ​of hay,​ ​landing​ ​them​ ​right​ ​outside​ ​the​ ​front​ ​door​ ​of​ ​the​ ​barn.

"Oy,Nicole!​ ​You​ ​almost​ ​crushed​ ​us​ ​there​ ​sweetheart."​ ​a​ ​thick​ ​Australian​ ​accent​ ​called​ ​from​ ​below.​ ​I​ ​smiled as​ ​i​ ​climbed​ ​down​ ​the​ ​ladder​ ​faced​ ​with​ ​4​ ​boys​ ​covered​ ​in​ ​hay.​ ​"Sorry​ ​guys!"​ ​I​ ​giggle​ ​as​ ​i​ ​grab​ ​each​ ​hay​ ​bail​ ​and quickly​ ​stack​ ​them​ ​in​ ​a​ ​4X4​ ​pile.​ ​"Haven't​ ​brought​ ​the​ ​horses​ ​in​ ​yet?"​ ​A​ ​voice​ ​asked​ ​form​ ​behind​ ​me.​ ​I​ ​turn​ ​around​ ​to face​ ​him.​ ​He​ ​is​ ​tall,​ ​about​ ​6'3",​ ​with​ ​bright​ ​blue​ ​eyes​ ​and​ ​blonde​ ​hair​ ​that​ ​was​ ​styled​ ​up​ ​into​ ​a​ ​quiff.​ ​"The​ ​new​ ​horse came​ ​just​ ​a​ ​few​ ​minutes​ ​ago,Lucas.I​ ​haven't​ ​had​ ​time."​ ​I​ ​smiled​ ​at​ ​him​ ​as​ ​i​ ​walked​ ​up​ ​to​ ​him​ ​and​ ​quickly​ ​kissed​ ​him on​ ​the​ ​lips.​ ​If​ ​you​ ​couldn't​ ​tell​ ​the​ ​blonde,tall​ ​boy​ ​is​ ​my​ ​boyfriend​ ​Luke.​ ​With​ ​him​ ​he​ ​brought​ ​his​ ​friends Ashton,Calum,and​ ​Michael.​ ​Ashton​ ​is​ ​tall​ ​but​ ​the​ ​shortest​ ​of​ ​the​ ​boys.​ ​he​ ​has​ ​curly​ ​brown​ ​hair​ ​with​ ​emerald​ ​green eyes​ ​and​ ​is​ ​always​ ​smiling.​ ​He​ ​wore​ ​a​ ​ripped​ ​up​ ​muscle​ ​tee​ ​and​ ​black​ ​skinny​ ​jean​ ​identical​ ​to​ ​the​ ​rest​ ​of​ ​the​ ​boys. Calum​ ​has​ ​black​ ​hair​ ​with​ ​a​ ​blond​ ​streak​ ​in​ ​his​ ​bangs​ ​that​ ​is​ ​swept​ ​off​ ​to​ ​the​ ​side​ ​just​ ​over​ ​his​ ​chocolate​ ​brown​ ​. Michael​ ​has​ ​a​ ​different​ ​hair​ ​color​ ​every​ ​time​ ​i​ ​see​ ​him,​ ​but​ ​today​ ​it​ ​was​ ​red​ ​and​ ​styled​ ​in​ ​a​ ​messy​ ​wind​ ​swept​ ​look hiding​ ​​ ​a​ ​little​ ​bit​ ​of​ ​his​ ​jade​ ​eyes​ ​from​ ​view.

"Do​ ​you​ ​guys​ ​wanna​ ​help​ ​me​ ​get​ ​them​ ​in?"​ ​i​ ​asked​ ​as​ ​i​ ​ran​ ​down​ ​to​ ​the​ ​end​ ​of​ ​the​ ​barn​ ​entering​ ​the​ ​stalls and​ ​clipping​ ​the​ ​doors​ ​to​ ​the​ ​paddocks​ ​open​ ​and​ ​sliding​ ​the​ ​stall​ ​doors​ ​closed​ ​behind​ ​me.​ ​Ashton​ ​and​ ​Calum​ ​did​ ​the same​ ​as​ ​I​ ​saw​ ​Luke​ ​and​ ​Michael​ ​struggling​ ​to​ ​open​ ​a​ ​hay​ ​bail.​ ​"Um,Nicole​ ​do​ ​you​ ​have​ ​like​ ​a​ ​knife​ ​or​ ​something?" Michael​ ​yells​ ​to​ ​me​ ​as​ ​i​ ​meet​ ​Calum​ ​and​ ​Ashton​ ​by​ ​the​ ​tack​ ​room,​ ​all​ ​the​ ​stalls​ ​ready​ ​for​ ​the​ ​horses.​ ​"You​ ​don't​ ​need one,Mike."​ ​i​ ​say​ ​as​ ​i​ ​walk​ ​over​ ​to​ ​them​ ​and​ ​take​ ​the​ ​baling​ ​twine​ ​and​ ​popping​ ​it​ ​off​ ​the​ ​hay.​ ​"Your​ ​girlfriends​ ​got​ ​some muscle,​ ​Luke"​ ​Michael​ ​nudges​ ​Luke​ ​in​ ​the​ ​arm​ ​as​ ​he​ ​watches​ ​me​ ​break​ ​open​ ​4​ ​more​ ​bales​ ​of​ ​hay.​ ​"It's​ ​because​ ​I've been​ ​opening​ ​hay​ ​bales​ ​for​ ​you​ ​for​ ​like​ ​3​ ​years."​ ​i​ ​turn​ ​around​ ​and​ ​look​ ​at​ ​Michael​ ​who​ ​is​ ​shocked​ ​for​ ​being​ ​called​ ​out on​ ​not​ ​be​ ​able​ ​to​ ​do​ ​it.​ ​The​ ​rest​ ​of​ ​the​ ​boys​ ​start​ ​laughing​ ​at​ ​Michaels​ ​lack​ ​of​ ​words​ ​and​ ​soon​ ​he​ ​joins​ ​in​ ​realizing​ ​i

was​ ​joking.Partially.​ ​The​ ​4​ ​boys​ ​helped​ ​me​ ​get​ ​hay​ ​in​ ​all​ ​the​ ​stall,​ ​Luke​ ​tossing​ ​a​ ​broken​ ​up​ ​bale​ ​over​ ​his​ ​shoulder and​ ​walking​ ​to​ ​the​ ​end​ ​of​ ​the​ ​barn,​ ​throwing​ ​2​ ​flakes​ ​in​ ​each​ ​stall​ ​until​ ​he​ ​ran​ ​out.

As​ ​soon​ ​as​ ​the​ ​hay​ ​was​ ​in​ ​all​ ​the​ ​stalls,​ ​Calum​ ​turns​ ​to​ ​me​ ​and​ ​asks​ ​"can​ ​i​ ​do​ ​it​ ​this​ ​time?"​ ​I​ ​laugh​ ​as​ ​I​ ​nod my​ ​head​ ​and​ ​grab​ ​onto​ ​Luke's​ ​arm​ ​as​ ​he​ ​comes​ ​up​ ​next​ ​to​ ​me.​ ​Calum​ ​put​ ​his​ ​fingers​ ​in​ ​his​ ​mouth​ ​and​ ​whistled​ ​loud and​ ​long​ ​and​ ​there​ ​was​ ​a​ ​moment​ ​of​ ​silence​ ​throughout​ ​the​ ​barn​ ​then​ ​there​ ​was​ ​the​ ​sound​ ​of​ ​thundering​ ​hooves.​ ​All the​ ​horses​ ​came​ ​running​ ​in​ ​as​ ​we​ ​stood​ ​at​ ​the​ ​beginning​ ​of​ ​the​ ​barn​ ​and​ ​watched​ ​as​ ​the​ ​horses​ ​started​ ​to​ ​nibble​ ​on their​ ​hay.​ ​In​ ​the​ ​stall​ ​to​ ​our​ ​left​ ​was​ ​Cam,​ ​a​ ​big​ ​chestnut​ ​suffolk​ ​punch.​ ​His​ ​coat​ ​glistened​ ​from​ ​the​ ​sunlight​ ​peeking​ ​in through​ ​the​ ​door​ ​behind​ ​him,​ ​making​ ​him​ ​look​ ​as​ ​if​ ​he​ ​was​ ​sparkling.​ ​On​ ​the​ ​Right​ ​side​ ​was​ ​Joe,​ ​a​ ​big​ ​black percheron​ ​with​ ​a​ ​huge​ ​head​ ​and​ ​body.​ ​His​ ​mane​ ​was​ ​perfectly​ ​straight​ ​and​ ​flopped​ ​to​ ​one​ ​side​ ​as​ ​he​ ​ate​ ​his​ ​hay. Beside​ ​Cam​ ​was​ ​my​ ​favorite​ ​horse,​ ​Baelfire.​ ​He​ ​is​ ​a​ ​beautiful​ ​bay​ ​Arabian​ ​with​ ​a​ ​beautiful​ ​white​ ​blaze​ ​going​ ​down​ ​his forehead​ ​and​ ​ending​ ​at​ ​the​ ​end​ ​of​ ​his​ ​nose.

Across​ ​from​ ​Baelfire​ ​was​ ​Jade.​ ​I​ ​have​ ​had​ ​Jade​ ​since​ ​she​ ​was​ ​a​ ​foal.I​ ​rescued​ ​her​ ​form​ ​an​ ​animal​ ​shelter after​ ​her​ ​mother​ ​passed​ ​away​ ​and​ ​needed​ ​constant​ ​care.​ ​​ ​There​ ​was​ ​about​ ​a​ ​month​ ​where​ ​i​ ​was​ ​sleeping​ ​in​ ​the​ ​barn with​ ​her​ ​,feeding​ ​her​ ​bottles​ ​every​ ​3​ ​hours.​ ​Now​ ​she​ ​was​ ​one​ ​of​ ​the​ ​best​ ​horses​ ​I've​ ​ever​ ​trained.​ ​Even​ ​though​ ​she​ ​is about​ ​7​ ​years​ ​old,​ ​she​ ​is​ ​trained​ ​to​ ​understand​ ​my​ ​vocal​ ​commands​ ​and​ ​i​ ​use​ ​her​ ​all​ ​the​ ​time​ ​to​ ​teach​ ​the​ ​barn​ ​kids how​ ​to​ ​ride.​ ​She​ ​is​ ​a​ ​beautiful​ ​white​ ​Warmblood​ ​mare​ ​and​ ​is​ ​one​ ​of​ ​the​ ​most​ ​beautiful​ ​horses​ ​I've​ ​ever​ ​seen.​ ​Next​ ​to Baelfire​ ​was​ ​Luke's​ ​horse,​ ​Coal.​ ​We​ ​had​ ​gotten​ ​him​ ​about​ ​a​ ​year​ ​and​ ​a​ ​half​ ​ago​ ​as​ ​a​ ​5​ ​year​ ​old​ ​and​ ​Luke​ ​instantly fell​ ​in​ ​love​ ​with​ ​him.​ ​Horses​ ​then​ ​turned​ ​into​ ​a​ ​passion​ ​for​ ​both​ ​of​ ​us.​ ​Luke​ ​worked​ ​hard​ ​with​ ​Coal​ ​to​ ​make​ ​him​ ​the excellent​ ​horse​ ​that​ ​he​ ​is​ ​today.​ ​Coal​ ​is​ ​absolutely​ ​spoiled​ ​too.​ ​Luke​ ​always​ ​sneaks​ ​down​ ​and​ ​gives​ ​him​ ​twizzlers​ ​and candy,​ ​which​ ​Coal​ ​loves​ ​and​ ​can​ ​now​ ​smell​ ​on​ ​anyone,​ ​even​ ​in​ ​your​ ​breath.​ ​Across​ ​from​ ​Coal​ ​​ ​​ ​is​ ​a​ ​horse​ ​named Klaus​ ​who​ ​is​ ​the​ ​biggest​ ​horse​ ​in​ ​the​ ​barn.​ ​He​ ​is​ ​a​ ​beautiful​ ​black​ ​and​ ​white​ ​shire​ ​with​ ​with​ ​fluffy​ ​white​ ​feathering​ ​on his​ ​jet​ ​black​ ​legs.​ ​​ ​He​ ​has​ ​a​ ​straight​ ​blaze​ ​running​ ​down​ ​the​ ​length​ ​of​ ​his​ ​face​ ​and​ ​ending​ ​right​ ​above​ ​his​ ​nose. Despite​ ​his​ ​big​ ​body,​ ​he's​ ​the​ ​sweetest​ ​horse​ ​and​ ​everyone​ ​who​ ​meets​ ​him​ ​instantly​ ​falls​ ​in​ ​love​ ​with​ ​him.​ ​Next​ ​to Klaus​ ​is​ ​Crash​ ​the​ ​warmblood​ ​that​ ​I​ ​received​ ​this​ ​morning.​ ​He​ ​was​ ​settling​ ​in​ ​nicely​ ​as​ ​he​ ​munched​ ​on​ ​his​ ​hay looking​ ​up​ ​and​ ​down​ ​the​ ​aisle​ ​at​ ​the​ ​horses​ ​around​ ​him.​ ​Across​ ​from​ ​Crash​ ​is​ ​Beck.​ ​Beck​ ​is​ ​a​ ​solid​ ​colored​ ​golden paint​ ​with​ ​a​ ​flaxen​ ​mane.Beck​ ​is​ ​sort​ ​of​ ​the​ ​barn​ ​stud.​ ​He​ ​always​ ​has​ ​the​ ​2​ ​barn​ ​mares​ ​around​ ​him​ ​and​ ​he​ ​is​ ​always very​ ​possessive​ ​over​ ​them.​ ​The​ ​other​ ​horses​ ​let​ ​him​ ​think​ ​he's​ ​the​ ​boss​ ​but​ ​when​ ​he​ ​steps​ ​out​ ​of​ ​line​ ​the​ ​horses​ ​put him​ ​right​ ​back​ ​in​ ​his​ ​place.

Next​ ​to​ ​Beck​ ​is​ ​an​ ​empty​ ​stall​ ​at​ ​the​ ​moment.​ ​Across​ ​from​ ​the​ ​empty​ ​stall​ ​is​ ​the​ ​tack​ ​room​ ​filled​ ​with​ ​saddles and​ ​bridles,along​ ​with​ ​brushes,first​ ​aid​ ​supplies,​ ​and​ ​a​ ​bunch​ ​of​ ​other​ ​horse​ ​necessities.​ ​Next​ ​to​ ​the​ ​tack​ ​room​ ​is​ ​a chestnut​ ​warmblood​ ​gelding​ ​named​ ​King.​ ​He​ ​is​ ​the​ ​old​ ​guy​ ​on​ ​the​ ​farm​ ​at​ ​the​ ​age​ ​of​ ​24,which​ ​is​ ​just​ ​a​ ​number​ ​to him.​ ​King​ ​loves​ ​to​ ​run​ ​and​ ​he​ ​loves​ ​to​ ​act​ ​like​ ​a​ ​2​ ​year​ ​old​ ​and​ ​run​ ​around​ ​the​ ​paddocks​ ​with​ ​the​ ​young​ ​guns​ ​of​ ​the barn.​ ​We​ ​never​ ​count​ ​King​ ​out​ ​because​ ​of​ ​his​ ​age.​ ​His​ ​age​ ​just​ ​makes​ ​him​ ​more​ ​experienced.​ ​Across​ ​from​ ​King​ ​is the​ ​other​ ​barn​ ​mare​ ​Aussie​ ​who​ ​is​ ​an​ ​Australian​ ​Stock​ ​horse.​ ​She​ ​is​ ​a​ ​beautiful​ ​dark​ ​bay​ ​with​ ​light​ ​points​ ​and​ ​legs. Aussie​ ​is​ ​a​ ​great​ ​trail​ ​horse​ ​and​ ​has​ ​received​ ​many​ ​ribbons​ ​in​ ​reining​ ​and​ ​barrel​ ​racing.​ ​I​ ​still​ ​take​ ​her​ ​to​ ​shows​ ​every once​ ​in​ ​a​ ​while​ ​but​ ​here​ ​new​ ​favorite​ ​thing​ ​to​ ​do​ ​is​ ​to​ ​go​ ​swimming​ ​in​ ​the​ ​lake​ ​down​ ​one​ ​of​ ​the​ ​trails.​ ​Next​ ​to​ ​Aussie is​ ​one​ ​of​ ​my​ ​favorite​ ​horses,​ ​Dino.​ ​Dino​ ​is​ ​an​ ​18​ ​hand​ ​giant​ ​Warmblood​ ​and​ ​is​ ​ever​ ​pound​ ​of​ ​2,000lbs.​ ​Dino​ ​is​ ​a​ ​dark bay​ ​with​ ​light​ ​dapples​ ​on​ ​his​ ​rear​ ​and​ ​white​ ​socks​ ​on​ ​his​ ​two​ ​front​ ​legs.​ ​Across​ ​from​ ​Dino​ ​is​ ​a​ ​small​ ​Paint​ ​named Mason​ ​who​ ​is​ ​very​ ​vibrant​ ​red​ ​paint​ ​with​ ​one​ ​brown​ ​eye​ ​and​ ​one​ ​blue​ ​eye.​ ​Mason​ ​is​ ​The​ ​youngest​ ​horse​ ​that​ ​i​ ​have at​ ​just​ ​about​ ​3​ ​years​ ​old.​ ​He​ ​is​ ​ridable,​ ​but​ ​is​ ​very​ ​green​ ​and​ ​needs​ ​a​ ​lot​ ​of​ ​help.​ ​Every​ ​one​ ​of​ ​these​ ​horses​ ​holds​ ​a special​ ​place​ ​in​ ​my​ ​heart​ ​and​ ​they​ ​are​ ​all​ ​family​ ​to​ ​Luke​ ​and​ ​I.

"So​ ​you​ ​guys​ ​ready​ ​to​ ​go​ ​now?"​ ​I​ ​ask​ ​as​ ​I​ ​enter​ ​the​ ​tack​ ​room​ ​walking​ ​down​ ​the​ ​line​ ​of​ ​bridles​ ​hooked​ ​to​ ​the wall​ ​and​ ​grabbing​ ​the​ ​black​ ​leather​ ​bridle​ ​with​ ​a​ ​snaffle​ ​bit​ ​on​ ​it​ ​and​ ​a​ ​silver​ ​tag​ ​on​ ​the​ ​brow​ ​band​ ​reading​ ​"Baelfire".​ ​I then​ ​grab​ ​my​ ​saddle​ ​from​ ​the​ ​saddle​ ​rack​ ​to​ ​the​ ​left​ ​of​ ​all​ ​the​ ​bridles,​ ​along​ ​with​ ​a​ ​saddle​ ​pad​ ​and​ ​girth.​ ​"Ash​ ​here has​ ​never​ ​ridden​ ​a​ ​horse,​ ​Nicole"​ ​Michael​ ​says​ ​as​ ​he​ ​grabs​ ​Ashton's​ ​shoulders​ ​and​ ​pushes​ ​him​ ​a​ ​little.​ ​"​ ​He​ ​can​ ​ride Jade!​ ​Where​ ​did​ ​Luke​ ​go,​ ​he​ ​can​ ​help"​ ​I​ ​ask​ ​Michael​ ​as​ ​Luke​ ​is​ ​no​ ​where​ ​to​ ​be​ ​found.​ ​As​ ​if​ ​on​ ​queue,​ ​Luke​ ​comes out​ ​of​ ​one​ ​of​ ​the​ ​stalls​ ​and​ ​starts​ ​walking​ ​towards​ ​us.​ ​"Well​ ​i​ ​was​ ​tacking​ ​up​ ​Coal​ ​cause​ ​i​ ​had​ ​a​ ​feeling​ ​you​ ​were gonna​ ​ask​ ​me​ ​to​ ​help​ ​Ash."​ ​Luke​ ​announces​ ​as​ ​he​ ​comes​ ​up​ ​next​ ​to​ ​me​ ​with​ ​all​ ​my​ ​tack​ ​in​ ​my​ ​arm​ ​and​ ​grabs​ ​my saddle​ ​and​ ​places​ ​it​ ​on​ ​the​ ​saddle​ ​rack​ ​near​ ​Baelfires​ ​stall.​ ​"​ ​Thank​ ​you,​ ​Baby."​ ​i​ ​say​ ​as​ ​walk​ ​up​ ​to​ ​where​ ​he​ ​was with​ ​my​ ​saddle​ ​and​ ​i​ ​attached​ ​my​ ​lips​ ​to​ ​his.​ ​At​ ​first​ ​it​ ​was​ ​a​ ​soft​ ​kiss​ ​but​ ​then​ ​it​ ​grew​ ​into​ ​more​ ​of​ ​a​ ​kiss.I​ ​started​ ​to

Laugh​ ​into​ ​the​ ​kiss​ ​as​ ​Baelfire​ ​reached​ ​his​ ​head​ ​out​ ​of​ ​the​ ​stall​ ​and​ ​grabbed​ ​Luke​ ​by​ ​his​ ​t-shirt.​ ​Luke​ ​pulled​ ​away from​ ​the​ ​kiss​ ​feeling​ ​the​ ​pressure​ ​of​ ​Baelfire​ ​pulling​ ​on​ ​him​ ​and​ ​once​ ​he​ ​got​ ​his​ ​shirt​ ​free,​ ​he​ ​said​ ​"I​ ​guess​ ​i​ ​have some​ ​competition,​ ​Hey​ ​Baelfire."​ ​Luke​ ​giggled​ ​as​ ​he​ ​scratched​ ​Baelfires​ ​head​ ​and​ ​started​ ​walking​ ​towards​ ​the​ ​tack room.​ ​"What​ ​do​ ​you​ ​want​ ​Jade​ ​in,Nicole?"​ ​Luke​ ​yells​ ​over​ ​his​ ​shoulder​ ​as​ ​he​ ​enters​ ​the​ ​tack​ ​room.​ ​"​ ​Throw​ ​her​ ​in​ ​the kimberwick​ ​and​ ​use​ ​Mason's​ ​saddle."​ ​I​ ​yell​ ​as​ ​I​ ​get​ ​a​ ​halter​ ​on​ ​Baelfire​ ​and​ ​pull​ ​him​ ​into​ ​the​ ​aisle,​ ​attaching​ ​him​ ​to the​ ​cross​ ​ties.​ ​"What​ ​the​ ​heck​ ​did​ ​you​ ​just​ ​say?"​ ​Ashton​ ​giggled​ ​as​ ​he​ ​looked​ ​at​ ​me​ ​like​ ​i​ ​had​ ​3​ ​heads.​ ​"It's​ ​the​ ​tack Ash.​ ​Luke​ ​will​ ​show​ ​you."​ ​I​ ​laugh​ ​as​ ​i​ ​return​ ​to​ ​Baelfire​ ​and​ ​start​ ​brushing​ ​him​ ​off.​ ​Calum​ ​and​ ​Michael​ ​come​ ​out​ ​of​ ​the tack​ ​room​ ​with​ ​tack​ ​and​ ​place​ ​them​ ​on​ ​the​ ​saddle​ ​racks​ ​that​ ​are​ ​on​ ​the​ ​wall​ ​down​ ​the​ ​aisles.​ ​"Are​ ​you​ ​guys​ ​taking Beck​ ​and​ ​Dino?"​ ​I​ ​ask​ ​as​ ​the​ ​walk​ ​down​ ​to​ ​the​ ​end​ ​of​ ​the​ ​barn​ ​and​ ​into​ ​stalls.​ ​"Yes,Nicole.​ ​Is​ ​that​ ​a​ ​problem?"​ ​Calum sasses​ ​as​ ​he​ ​gives​ ​me​ ​a​ ​grin​ ​and​ ​enters​ ​Dino's​ ​stall.​ ​"​ ​I​ ​laugh​ ​and​ ​continue​ ​brushing.

​ ​Luke​ ​comes​ ​out​ ​of​ ​the​ ​tack​ ​room​ ​with​ ​Ashton​ ​in​ ​toe​ ​and​ ​sets​ ​the​ ​tack​ ​down​ ​on​ ​the​ ​saddle​ ​rack​ ​with​ ​a​ ​Purple saddle​ ​pad.​ ​I​ ​put​ ​Baelfire's​ ​light​ ​blue​ ​saddle​ ​pad​ ​on​ ​his​ ​back​ ​along​ ​with​ ​the​ ​saddle.​ ​I​ ​then​ ​attached​ ​the​ ​girth​ ​and tightened​ ​it​ ​on​ ​both​ ​sides.​ ​I​ ​unclipped​ ​Baelfire​ ​from​ ​the​ ​cross​ ​ties​ ​and​ ​slip​ ​the​ ​reins​ ​over​ ​his​ ​head​ ​and​ ​slide​ ​off​ ​his halter.​ ​I​ ​slowly​ ​push​ ​the​ ​bit​ ​in​ ​his​ ​mouth​ ​and​ ​pull​ ​the​ ​crown​ ​piece​ ​over​ ​his​ ​ears​ ​and​ ​adjusted​ ​the​ ​nose​ ​band​ ​and​ ​throat latch.​ ​I​ ​left​ ​the​ ​reins​ ​over​ ​his​ ​neck​ ​and​ ​just​ ​let​ ​him​ ​stand​ ​there​ ​as​ ​I​ ​put​ ​on​ ​his​ ​light​ ​blue​ ​splint​ ​boots.​ ​Once​ ​I​ ​was​ ​all tacked​ ​up.​ ​I​ ​looked​ ​behind​ ​me​ ​to​ ​see​ ​everyone​ ​tacked​ ​but​ ​Ashton.​ ​"Whats​ ​the​ ​hold​ ​up​ ​Luke?"​ ​I​ ​ask​ ​as​ ​i​ ​come​ ​up​ ​to Jade's​ ​side.​ ​"Umm,​ ​well​ ​i​ ​can't​ ​find​ ​her​ ​girth"​ ​He​ ​says​ ​as​ ​he​ ​scratches​ ​the​ ​back​ ​of​ ​his​ ​neck​ ​and​ ​looks​ ​around​ ​the​ ​tack room.​ ​I​ ​go​ ​in​ ​the​ ​tack​ ​room​ ​and​ ​look​ ​under​ ​some​ ​of​ ​the​ ​saddle​ ​racks​ ​and​ ​find​ ​the​ ​girth​ ​we​ ​were​ ​looking​ ​for​ ​under​ ​one. It​ ​must​ ​have​ ​fallen​ ​while​ ​we​ ​were​ ​moving​ ​all​ ​the​ ​tack​ ​around.​ ​I​ ​exit​ ​the​ ​tack​ ​room​ ​and​ ​hand​ ​Luke​ ​the​ ​girth​ ​as​ ​he hands​ ​it​ ​to​ ​Ashton,​ ​he​ ​instructs​ ​him​ ​on​ ​how​ ​to​ ​put​ ​it​ ​on.​ ​"Ok.​ ​Ash​ ​so​ ​you​ ​buckle​ ​it​ ​like​ ​a​ ​belt​ ​and​ ​then​ ​you​ ​go​ ​to​ ​the other​ ​side​ ​and​ ​tighten​ ​it​ ​a​ ​bit."​ ​Ashton​ ​does​ ​the​ ​girth​ ​no​ ​problem​ ​and​ ​then​ ​picks​ ​up​ ​the​ ​bridle​ ​from​ ​the​ ​saddle​ ​rack​ ​and moves​ ​to​ ​her​ ​head​ ​and​ ​unclips​ ​her​ ​from​ ​the​ ​cross​ ​ties​ ​and​ ​bridles​ ​her.​ ​After​ ​he​ ​is​ ​done​ ​bridling​ ​Jade,​ ​He​ ​puts​ ​on​ ​her purple​ ​splint​ ​boots​ ​and​ ​she​ ​is​ ​all​ ​set​ ​to​ ​go.

We​ ​all​ ​went​ ​outside​ ​with​ ​our​ ​horses​ ​in​ ​one​ ​hand​ ​and​ ​a​ ​helmet​ ​in​ ​the​ ​other.​ ​Michael​ ​led​ ​Beck​ ​out​ ​in​ ​his​ ​dark green​ ​saddle​ ​pad​ ​and​ ​splints​ ​which​ ​contrasted​ ​perfectly​ ​with​ ​his​ ​light​ ​coat​ ​color.​ ​Calum​ ​came​ ​out​ ​next​ ​with​ ​Dino​ ​in​ ​a Teal​ ​saddle​ ​pad​ ​and​ ​white​ ​splint​ ​boots,​ ​not​ ​matching​ ​the​ ​teal​ ​because​ ​we​ ​couldn't​ ​find​ ​teal​ ​splints​ ​in​ ​his​ ​size.​ ​​ ​Finally Ashton​ ​and​ ​Luke​ ​come​ ​out​ ​with​ ​Jade​ ​and​ ​Coal​ ​and​ ​join​ ​us​ ​in​ ​the​ ​little​ ​field​ ​in​ ​front​ ​of​ ​the​ ​barn.​ ​Luke​ ​put​ ​Coal​ ​is​ ​a​ ​bark blue​ ​saddle​ ​pad​ ​and​ ​splints,​ ​which​ ​kinda​ ​matched​ ​with​ ​Baelfire​ ​and​ ​I.​ ​Luke,Calum,and​ ​Michael​ ​all​ ​hop​ ​on​ ​their​ ​horses and​ ​put​ ​their​ ​helmets​ ​on.​ ​I​ ​tie​ ​up​ ​Baelfires​ ​reins​ ​and​ ​let​ ​him​ ​nibble​ ​on​ ​some​ ​grass​ ​and​ ​walk​ ​over​ ​to​ ​Ashton​ ​to​ ​help​ ​him get​ ​on.​ ​I​ ​walk​ ​over​ ​to​ ​Jade​ ​and​ ​tighten​ ​her​ ​girth​ ​and​ ​roll​ ​down​ ​her​ ​stirrups.​ ​"Ok​ ​Ash​ ​so​ ​all​ ​you​ ​have​ ​to​ ​do​ ​is​ ​put​ ​your foot​ ​in​ ​the​ ​stirrup​ ​and​ ​pull​ ​your​ ​self​ ​up​ ​into​ ​the​ ​saddle."​ ​I​ ​instructed​ ​as​ ​I​ ​held​ ​on​ ​to​ ​the​ ​stirrup​ ​on​ ​the​ ​right​ ​side​ ​of​ ​the saddle​ ​while​ ​Ashton​ ​was​ ​on​ ​the​ ​left​ ​side.​ ​Ashton​ ​put​ ​his​ ​foot​ ​on​ ​the​ ​stirrup​ ​and​ ​pulled​ ​himself​ ​up​ ​into​ ​the​ ​saddle​ ​like he​ ​had​ ​been​ ​doing​ ​it​ ​for​ ​years.​ ​"We​ ​have​ ​a​ ​natural​ ​here​ ​boys"​ ​Calum​ ​says​ ​as​ ​he​ ​drops​ ​his​ ​reins​ ​and​ ​puts​ ​his​ ​hands up​ ​in​ ​the​ ​air​ ​celebrating​ ​that​ ​Ashton​ ​got​ ​on.​ ​I​ ​adjusted​ ​his​ ​stirrups​ ​for​ ​him​ ​as​ ​well​ ​as​ ​tightening​ ​his​ ​girth​ ​one​ ​last​ ​time and​ ​then​ ​walked​ ​back​ ​over​ ​to​ ​Baelfire.​ ​I​ ​untied​ ​his​ ​reins​ ​and​ ​jumped​ ​on​ ​his​ ​back,​ ​clipping​ ​my​ ​helmet​ ​in​ ​place​ ​before​ ​i adjusted​ ​my​ ​girth​ ​and​ ​stirrups.

When​ ​I​ ​was​ ​finished,​ ​I​ ​asked​ ​"Are​ ​you​ ​ready​ ​boys?"​ ​with​ ​a​ ​nod​ ​from​ ​all​ ​4​ ​boys​ ​we​ ​start​ ​heading​ ​on​ ​the​ ​trail.​ ​I gave​ ​Ashton​ ​a​ ​quick​ ​run​ ​down​ ​on​ ​how​ ​to​ ​ride,​ ​"Ok​ ​Ashton​ ​so​ ​kicking​ ​her​ ​will​ ​make​ ​her​ ​go​ ​forward​ ​and​ ​kicking​ ​her more​ ​after​ ​shes​ ​moving​ ​will​ ​make​ ​her​ ​go​ ​faster.​ ​if​ ​you​ ​want​ ​her​ ​to​ ​stop​ ​pull​ ​on​ ​the​ ​reins.​ ​If​ ​you​ ​want​ ​here​ ​to​ ​turn​ ​pull gently​ ​on​ ​the​ ​rein​ ​in​ ​the​ ​direction​ ​you​ ​want​ ​to​ ​go.​ ​Don't​ ​worry​ ​if​ ​you​ ​have​ ​a​ ​hard​ ​time,​ ​Jade​ ​knows​ ​commands​ ​so​ ​just tell​ ​her​ ​what​ ​too​ ​do.​ ​Got​ ​it?"​ ​I​ ​ask​ ​riding​ ​up​ ​to​ ​Ashton's​ ​side.​ ​He​ ​nods​ ​and​ ​gives​ ​Jade​ ​a​ ​gentle​ ​kick​ ​and​ ​we​ ​were​ ​on our​ ​way.

[miyiee]

“TOMINO”

“TOMINO”

Written By: Miyie 〴

(Disclaimer! Please do not read if you are someone who is easily disturbed, make sure you are over 13 to read this content may include violence, alcohol, abuse, and blood, Thank you!) This is not your typical horror genre, it truly describes real-life “horror.” I really wanted to bring out these situations, as there are many out there who suffer from these.) -Miyie 〴

It’s only imaginary, it’s something so forfeit, something you cannot deliberately see.

………...See, I once had this friend, it was only engraved in my mind, not necessarily sincere nor significant to me, someone that was so authentically cruel, but yet I followed…..

A bird caged-girl, as she started to plug her ears to block out the interphone chime, I am fighting with an enemy I couldn’t even see, even till the end I was leading myself to a truly unseemly thing. A leash clings on my neck, each step, each walk, each breath I took. I am always being watched by someone, something.

Who, you may ask? My imaginary friend. “And, it has been that way for years.”

“Free me, lift me from my guilt.” If it were only so simple.

1/2/1981

Ever since the day I was born into this world, I have always been those principles of innocence, my mother, my father always checked up on me to make sure I wasn’t doing anything bad and they would always find me quite strange for a child. You see, I was always talking to the wall, in the same position. “Look! Mommy, isn’t he nice?” Yes. Tomino loved me deeply, there was no doubt, but you see, this love was a strange one and cannot be explained. “Sure, whatever you say, Hika.” She leaned down and pet me on the head. Of course to her extent, mother would never believe such nonsense...I always thought Tomino was there, someone everyone else could also see…...

Not just me.

…...

2/18/1988

One day as my mother was going out to head for groceries, I stopped her, no Tomino stopped her, he

told me to.

“Please just don’t go today, I would like you to just stay with me.”

  The day after, it was reported, documented on the news of an incident that happened to be the same street my mother was just going to head to, xxx street of Zemark, a shooting happening between two drunk white men, about 12 people had either died that day, 9 injured within that store. These sorts of incidents would occur several times after then on any random day. “That excuse again?” Tomino this, Tomino that.” Mother would often say to me out of frustration. She couldn’t understand why her daughter was acting this certain way after all. 

Was I really that childish or…. Did I speak the truth?

But, you see, such kindness comes with a price. 

A promise that was forged. 

I spend the days with Tomino, we play together, talk together for hours, I drew and wrote on his requests, but one day, it seems he has gotten quite bored of my childish acts and lingers for a little more fun and excitement. He threw my painting on the floor in anger, “So what do you want me to do then?”I asked. I wished I didn’t have asked, maybe then I wouldn’t need to do whatever he said..…. It was a little dark outside for a spring season while taking multiple glances towards outside the window. He told me to “Go outside and stab this helpless squirrel with a kitchen knife, smear its blood around in a circle on this painting, and to finally make a box around it in the sand with a stick.” When I declined, he would get mad at me and would not talk to me for hours, doesn’t help me anymore, so I did it, I obeyed him like a dog.

Mother tried ever since, to cure me of this disease, this illness. She looked for any doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists, etc. “Your child is perfectly healthy,” they said. Not even the best professionals figured it out. Tomino was always mischievous, mysterious, secretive, smart about where he moves each of his pawns. To him, this was no more than just a game.

My father abandoned me because of this, well partly. He cheated on her, secretly, but it was funny since father still had this small affection for mom, so instead, he told her a white lie. I knew all along because Tomino tells me about these things. 

I was only left with my mother. “Why me?” Why can’t I have a normal child?,” I would often hear mother mumble under her breath. My mother was no longer the kind mother I knew. It wasn’t a surprise she has become an alcoholic soon after.  

“What are you looking at? You pathetic little brat, this is all your fault!”, mother said.

“I REALLY HATE THE SMELL OF ALCOHOL.”, I screamed at her.

Miza peered in on us in the corner, she came to my house for the project.

I knew,.... She knew.

……….

Tomino would often come to comfort me when I cry, although sometimes he is upset himself and never comes, he said it wasn’t my fault. “It was Okaa-san’s fault for not understanding us enough.”

School was no different. 

“No wonder her parents abandoned her..”    

“What a spoiled child.”

“Ewww, stay away from me….”

“Manipulative bi**”

“This is all your fault!”

I have always given in the efforts to redeem myself, but they were all main just seen as an unless waste of time.

“I’m not your friend anymore! How could you do such a thing?”

Wait- KI! Wha-what about you Miza, are you going to leave me too?, I asked. Deliberately. 

She looked at me sadly but she said nothing “...........”, as she just walked alongside her other friend.

I was always the one left out. It wasn’t my fault, was it?

I had to transfer to many different schools after then. 

“Ugh, isn’t that disgusting woman her mother?”

“Why would you raise such a slut?”

It always ended terribly. 

Tears were wiped with sleeves. I weep.

So then...

9/16/1990

Mother became even more so tired of all this as each day passed by. She dressed up, packed up. Slammed the door on me.

Unknown: “Wait! What about-!”

She left me…...

 “I don’t need her anymore, I should’ve never given birth to you.”

“Don’t leave me, I promise I will do all my chores, I would never cause you any more trouble ever again, please mother!”, I layed on the floor, begging.

But, that was the last sentence mother said to me, the last she spoke to me, the last time I saw her.

“Ojii-san, Do you think it's my fault?”

Unknown: “It’s going to be okay, Hika, come with me.”

….

Years passed then, it was hard to believe. 

“Hika, breakfast is ready!” “Coming Okaa-  Ojii-san!”

“What a weird grandchild I have.”   “hahaha, Ojii-san that’s mean!”  “Come eat, child.”

“Itadakimasu!”   If you couldn’t tell already, living with my uncle was nice and comforting, for once.

“Okay, I’m off, see you Ojii-san!”

It was only us two that lived together now after dad had left us and mother had disappeared off to somewhere. Ojii-san was the only person I have now, although he is growing quite old as days pass by.

Thing was, we are tight on money. Ojii-san tries his best to reassure me and tells me to just focus on my studies but I know about our financial problems.

The only other major reason why we had food left on our plate was that “Tomino” still exists, he protects me, this was part of our agreement. I thought for sure Tomino would get bored of me soon when I grew older, but he stayed and waited for the promise we made till the very end. It seems like Tomino never really ages and he just stays the same size every day even after years. Things just stayed the same. 

Tomino grants my wishes. But, that’s it….

….

11/7/1994

I walked between pebbles, between bridges, and on bridges. Tomino follows me wherever I go. It's like he’s a stalker, but I'm used to it. "I'm fine today, Tomino, how are you? You know, I know you're there..." "Yes, whatever you say.", he replied. He raised strange doubts when I was a child, but I loved him. It was my friend after all. He was the only person who knew me well. Tomino seems to look old these days, but not so deeply.He still seems to have stayed the same even after years.

As my walk almost reached my destination, I was in the middle of walking passed the archway of the two buildings as a shortcut followed by my upperclassmen.

"Ah, isn't that Hika Normanashi?"

Please, keep in mind that……..Nobody really knows my surname. It was a secret because of family issues. Tomino also knows. And since then I haven't trusted enough people to tell them anything. It wasn’t particularly very nice to see someone expose my surname.

I felt a hand grabbed me by my wrist as they proceeded to push me against the wall as the dude kept mocking my body.

Girl 2: "Hey, knucklehead! This is it! I brought over her here."

Unknown: “This little one doesn’t seem to scream much so it’s fine boss.”

As they threw me onto the ground below them, Grabbing me and pushing my head against the wall.

"S-STOP IT! RELEASE ME!"

Girl 1: "Hey, so what are you going to do? Get your boyfriend to protect you or something?"

“……… ..!”

"Wait! Tomino, don't!"

Soon, the blood of two young girls spilled under me, on the concrete under my feet. I was soaked in blood. The young man looked at me in shock of fear as if I were the murderer.

"Y-YOU MONSTER!", he screamed.

I looked down at my bloody shaking hands. The knife Tomino has given me…...

The young man tried to resist me as much as possible, but Tomino also fled before him and overwhelmed over him. I knew exactly what Tomino wanted me to do. Through the man’s eyes, I could see what it felt like to die, the terror. "Sorry, but you’ll have to die for me, it'll be fast, I promise." I closed my eyes. I took a breath. I wondered how just how many more people do I need to kill? There was no point in arguing with Tomino. This is his identity. I’m sorry Ojii-san………. The next thing I saw when I opened my eyes were two stranded dead bodies tied onto the tracks, two trains which ran at full speed in seconds over them. The man's body was specially cutaway where the organs were visible, but Tomino did not kill him yet. It can be said that Tomino threw him most. I knew about this, the way this guy died was exactly the same as a few years ago. "........ First, a small lead ball creates a large, deep bruise and breaks on subsequent hits. Finally, the skin on the back hangs on a long ribbon and the entire area If the prisoner determines that the prisoner is dying, an unrecognizable chunk, the strike will be stopped. "

I know I'm a murderer ... my feet move suddenly. But in the wrong direction. I could not stop sitting on my lap on the lawn and staring at the dead man.

His face stared at me and wanted to return, in hopes of revenge, I knew deeply.

But, Tomino doesn’t. 

No matter how many following attempts there were, Tomino always got away with it, dragging me along. When the news of these three students was blankly announced, the whole classroom began to place the blame on me. No one dared to approach me after that. I was invisible. It was an inevitable fate.

I couldn’t bring myself to believe my fate.

I couldn’t bring myself to believe Tomino was so cruel. 

I couldn’t bring myself to bear this anymore. I only have hidden the truth. I knew what he meant, by those silent words.

I planned my defeat. If order to win, 

You must lose. 

To bring illusion to reality, how do you do that exactly?

How can you eliminate something you loved so much in the world?

Without a doubt, I am always attached to Tomino, I believed there was always loyalty that has existed between us.   

Tomino made me feel emotions, of all kinds. 

The emotion of being valued, the emotion of being appreciated, and emotions of hatred. 

It was only that I could never tell what his objective was, nor who he was anymore. I cannot recognize him. I cannot be an attachment. I cannot be the one to ‘change’ him. We are like the strings of, the lines, the blinds between the lies. I cannot be there for him, I must stay away father always told me. 

“One day, he would ruin you. Do not be fooled easily, do not be influenced by terrible people easily. Keep that in mind, Hika. ”

…..

Friend, a person whom one knows, likes, or trusts. 

Was there ever trust that has enveloped in this relationship. 

“Let’s stay togeth-er forever, Tomino.”

smiles*

Hey…..., that warm smile you gave me just there…..

Was that a lie…. Or was that the truth? 

Was it a sad one or was that a happy one?

Call me an idiot, although I always have the ability to read people’s expressions…..

 I could never tell Tomino’s. 

I have never thought this day would come. 

I have always thought, it was the truth. 

How could he speak so falsely?

What did you mean exactly? 

….

12/24/1995

“I’ve grown tired of you, Tomino.” , I’ve had enough.

“Kill me, how are you going to kill me?” Tomino mocked me.

” I’m sorry, Tomino.” 

And within that, the only thing that can convince us of their love for each other is the truth. 

“I cannot ever get rid of you until I die, right? I wish you the best in the afterlife ...really.”

5/22/1985

I remembered the day we met, 

The garden was so beautiful, the pond filled with koi fish were so lovely, the flowers were all so pretty, the bridge above it was so clean, but it was all so lonely. I sat there walking and running around playing by myself until I grew tired. Where you came into existence ever since. Then, we would always be together. Where he was always quiet and kept to himself, but I didn’t mind.

 “Ne-ne! Tomoi-no!.....”  “Hi-ka!”(learned each other’s names) I wrote down both of our names and embraced it with a heart, the poor boy seemed so flustered for some reason. 

“Promise me that you would always stay by my side, never leave me, alright?” He seemed hesitant at first but then offered me his pinky.

 But that wasn’t the promise, Tomino hid the truth, he wanted much more. He just wanted to take my white soul.

Thank you for your company. Your kindness, no one can pretend. The flowers were never too strong to sustain itself, and the petals would eventually overtime fade out. The grass are cut away little by little by the humans because they hate how it was. The trees are brought down by the people in order to feed them. But, these were all often done without anything in return. I didn’t want to leave because I have faith in Tomino, but that would be selfish to say that, that was the only reason why I have lived. I wished I hadn’t agreed upon our promise.  I don’t want to stay, because it would mean I would still have to call Tomino a friend.

“I have more than once tried to deceive you, but you will feel that I am now speaking falsely,” Tomino said. 

 Tomino could never touch me because he isn’t real and because he cannot touch me, he cannot stop me. I wanted to cry, but nothing came out. 

 12/24/1995

I feel the breath of life taken away from me by the multitude. 

It was getting harder and harder to breathe as each second progresses. I have always tried to kill myself before. Standing at the edge….. I was a coward I could never face death. 

“Why? All you have to do is just to “jump”? It’ll all be over, right?”

  But, one day I found myself hung.. “I’m sorry.”

And then, everything just blacked out. The man in black disappeared, everything disappeared. There was no “Tomino”. There was just a little boy, all alone forced to carry out his duty.

“Goodbye ..old friend” 

“goodbye,'' he once said.

I could almost hear him saying in response...

12/25/1994

A woman in a black dress came to settle down a few white flowers as she prayed her hands together, she spoke only three words…..,

“I love you.”

….

And soon,

 a few more and more,

 flowers were placed.  

“Happy birthday, Hika.” , Tomino smiled.

“Here’s your present!”, as the young boy cheerfully places down a small box with a little teddy bear sitting on top. 

=//[For anyone confused]// “TOMINO” is her teddy bear, a stuffed animal^^

Well? Where’d do you think Hika has gotten her present from[Teddy Bear]?