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What is a video that you remember seeing on youtube (a youtube poop, an animation, a meme, an edit, a funny vid) that no matter what you can no longer find, leaving your faint memory as the only proof of its existence?
#there are so many for me#but the one I will talk about here is this one youtube poop comp of avatar the last airbender edits#I hadn't even watched the show yet when I saw this I was like in third grade#I think I looked up on my mom's phone funny avatar moments and this video was one that popped up#it was basically a comp of youtube poop style edits with a changing channel effect for each skit#some that I remember included the earthbender announcer saying let's get ready to ruuuumbllleeeee#the scene where toph asked aang how he knew her name had him respond in a computer voice google dot com which I thought was the funniest#and then there was a recreation of the family guy stewie mom joke with young zuko and his mom#that was long but I am so sad that I can't find this video anymore#I cannot think about atla without thinking of the edits like man....#squack
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I was watching this video w Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird (tumblr won’t let me link but it’s from 2 days ago on GQ- they ask each other questions but it’s like quiz style?) and didn’t know if you would want to do something similar for coops? Some of the stuff they said/how they acted reminded me of coops’ dynamic
Anon, this video was the perfect way to spend an evening. Both these women are my role models and they’re unbelievably cute together--go check out the video here if you have the chance! Their dynamic is a lot like how I imagine Coops, too! Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove!
“Hey, Lions, we’re back!” Sirius waved at the camera and tapped a short stack on notecards on his thighs. “I’m Captain Sirius Black of the Gryffindor Lions and I’m here with my fiancé, Remus Lupin, to do another couple game.”
“The response to our last few interviews was incredible and we had a great time,” Remus continued. “Miss Marlene McKinnon was kind enough to drag us back in here to answer even more questions!”
“Do you want to go first?”
“Sure.” Remus cleared his throat and pulled the first card. “What are my parents’ first names?”
“Hope and Lyall.”
“Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. What’s my hidden talent?”
“You can sing.”
“Does that count? I feel like most people know that now.”
“Hmm.” Sirius thought for a moment, drumming his fingers on his knees. “You can cook really well.”
“Thank you, baby. What’s my favorite accessory?”
Sirius brightened. “Your watch!”
“Yes!” Remus held it up to the camera—it was simple and elegant, with a leather band and a small face. He wore it with the clock against the inside of his wrist, just above his pulse point. “What is my dream travel destination or vacation?”
“Oh, that’s tough.” Sirius bit his lip in thought. “Seattle? Paris?”
“I do want to go to Seattle, but I’ve always wanted to go to Montreal,” Remus said. “You’ve seen my hometown, but I’ve never been to yours.”
Sirius frowned. “Really?”
“Really. What am I most afraid of?”
“I think…I think you’re most afraid of not being useful,” Sirius said after a moment. “For six years, your job was all about helping people, and it’s not now.”
Remus raised his eyebrows at the camera. “I was going to say the dentist’s office. Goddamn.”
“Sorry,” Sirius laughed. “Yeah, you don’t like medical facilities.”
“I mean, you weren’t wrong about the useful thing,” Remus said. “You still get a point for that. What’s my favorite music, song, or artist to listen to before a game?”
“You don’t have one.”
“That was quick. Half a bonus point for speed. When was our first date and what did we do?”
“Our first official date was just after All-Stars and we went to Sid’s, but we had been together for about three months at that point and just hung out at each other’s houses.”
Remus grinned. “Do you remember what day it was?”
“January 28th.” Sirius gave him a look. “I know for a fact you don’t know what day it was.”
“January 28th.”
“You only know that because I just said it!” Sirius smacked him playfully with his cards. “Next question.”
“What’s my favorite movie and TV show?”
“Jurassic Park and Avatar: The Last Airbender.”
He whistled the first part of the theme song as Sirius did the hand motions. “What’s my shoe size?”
“Oh, god,” Sirius muttered, staring down at the floor. “Eleven? Eleven and a half? You have smaller feet than I do, but not by much.”
“I’m a size ten.”
“Are you really?”
Remus pulled one sneaker off and handed it to him with a laugh. “Check for yourself. Oh, I’d love to know the answer to this one. How do you know when I’m mad at you?”
Sirius tossed his shoe back with a snort. “You make faces.”
Remus seemed surprised. “Do I?”
“Yeah. You’ve got a very expressive face and the second you’re pissed, it’s written all over it. It’s like—” Sirius pursed his lips and scrunched his nose slightly. “I can’t really do it, but anytime I see that I’m like, ‘oh, shit, what did I do?’ Also, you stop calling me baby.”
“That’s what I was going to say. What’s my favorite city to play in?”
“Not Florida.”
“Not fucking Florida,” Remus agreed with a grin.
“Gryffindor for sure.”
“Where was I born?” He gave Sirius a teasing look. “Do you know this time, or should I get my mom on the line?”
Sirius stuck his tongue out. “Madison, Wisconsin.”
Remus glanced at the camera. “We got asked this question in an interview a few months ago and he had to call my mom afterward because he forgot.”
“She made fun of me the whole time,” Sirius pouted.
“What is my favorite food? Oh, you’ll get this one for sure.” Sirius hesitated and Remus’ eyes widened. “Really?”
“I’m a little torn. It’s either my grilled cheese or your dad’s turkey-cranberry thing. Actually, I don’t think you know what your favorite food is.”
Remus nodded slowly. “That’s a really good point. My first thought was grilled cheese, but my dad makes the best postgame sandwiches. I’ll give you that. What’s my favorite hobby?”
“Reading.”
“What did I want to be when I was a kid?”
“A librarian, until you started playing hockey.”
Remus leaned over and high-fived him. “You’re on a roll, baby. What was my jersey number in college?”
“Number six.”
“The transition was so fucking easy,” Remus laughed. “Coach literally came up to me a month before practices started and went ‘hey, what was your old number?’ and I told him, and he looked down at his clipboard and went, ‘cool.’. I got my jersey two weeks later.”
“Is this your last question?”
“It is, indeed. What’s my full birth name?”
“Remus Jehosephat Lupin.”
“That is incorrect.”
“Close enough. It’s Remus John Lupin, which I find endlessly funny.”
“Why is it funny?” Marlene asked off-screen. Remus hid his face behind his notecards as Sirius laughed.
“Because it’s such a basic middle name! I love Hope and Lyall with my entire heart and they’re wonderful people, but they named their sons Remus and Julian and then I think they got stuck. Like, you’ve got these two very uncommon first names and they sort of went ‘fuck it. John and Michael. We’re done.’ It’s just so funny.”
“Whereas your parents went the extra mile and gave you and Reg goddamn supervillain names,” Remus snorted. “The drama of it all, my god.”
“Alright, alright, my turn.” Sirius leaned his elbows on his knees. “What is my favorite color?”
“Blue.”
“How do I like my coffee?”
Remus hissed between his teeth. “Ah, shit, you always make the coffee. With a lot of sugar, right? It’s black with sugar?”
“It can’t be black if it has sugar in it,” Sirius laughed. “But yes, I do put sugar in my coffee. What are three things I never leave the house without?”
“Keys, wallet, phone.”
“My favorite TV show?”
“Why are you going through these so fast? Uh, Avatar.”
“Did I ever have a job that wasn’t playing hockey?”
“Nope.” Remus frowned. “Were you allowed to get a job as a kid?”
“I was not. What’s my favorite ice cream flavor?”
“Cookies and cream.”
Sirius made a buzzer noise. “Incorrect.”
“Is it chocolate?”
“Yep. You get half a point for that. What’s the first meal I ever cooked for you?”
Remus gave him a look. “You don’t remember what you cooked for me, do you?”
“Refresh my memory?”
“No way!” He punched him lightly on the arm. “I’m not falling for my own tricks. Next question.”
“It’s kind of a repeat from earlier. How do you know when I’m mad at you?”
Remus fiddled with the edges of his cards. “You act all weird and Captain-y, and then you get quiet. Just cranky vibes all around.”
“Cranky vibes,” Sirius laughed. “Good to know. What are my favorite movie-watching snacks?”
“Popcorn and…Sweet Tarts?”
“Yes!” Sirius gave him a high-five. “Do you know what I like on my popcorn?”
“Butter and enough salt to kill a Victorian child.”
“Bonus point! What is—oh, shit!” He nearly fumbled the cards onto the floor. “What is my favorite movie of all time?”
“Indiana Jones.”
“Which one?”
“The one with Marian, because she reminds you of me.” Remus looked over at the camera. “I really don’t like snakes.”
“What is the first thing I do when I wake up in the morning?”
“Oh, I think this requires a demonstration. C’mere.”
“Does it really?” Sirius sighed as he laid down next to him.
“For sure.” Remus cuddled into his side and laid his head on his shoulder. “Alright, the key to a true Sirius Black wake-up is getting all four limbs wrapped around the other person like you’re trying to suffocate them with affection.”
“Okay—”
“And then,” Remus continued with a grin. “I go, ‘honey, wake up’—”
“You absolutely do not.”
“In my head, that’s what I say. It’s very sweet. To answer the question, the first thing Sirius does is this.” He buried his face in Sirius’ chest and groaned loudly, then dissolved into snickering as Sirius’ chest began to shake with suppressed laughter. “Stop it, you’re ruining the demonstration!”
“You forgot the part where I have to peel you off me with pliers and grease,” Sirius teased as they stood up, dusting themselves off. The camera crew applauded and they both bowed. “Alright, where were we? What am I most scared of?”
“Losing your friends and family,” Remus said. “Also, spiders and most bugs.”
“You forgot one.”
“Which one? The dish soap bubbles?”
“Losing you.”
A vibrant blush tinted Remus’ cheeks and ears, and he floundered for words. “Oh.”
“You still get the points, though,” Sirius said mildly. “What city do I like playing in the most?”
Remus paused for a moment longer, then shook his head to clear his thoughts. “Uh, Gryffindor. You like the crowd.”
“I do.” Sirius smiled at the camera. “To all the fans out there: you are incredible and there is nothing like skating out with everybody roaring so loud the windows shake. Who is my biggest hockey influence?”
“Now, or when you were younger?”
“Now.”
“It’s Dumo, right?”
Sirius nodded. “On and off the ice. What’s my proudest career moment?”
“Hmm, I wonder,” Remus said sarcastically. “Could it possibly be winning the Stanley Cup?”
“Just maybe,” Sirius laughed. “What’s my most famous celly, and which one’s my favorite?”
Remus grinned. “Lightning McQueen.”
“I hate it when you call it that.” Despite his words, Sirius was smiling. “It’s supposed to be cool!”
“Can you elaborate?” Marlene asked.
“I mean, most people who have seen him play know what I’m talking about,” Remus said, gesturing to the camera. “But Sirius’ famous celly is a double fist pump, and I call it the Lightning McQueen because it’s like ka-chow! It’s also his favorite one, though he dances when we’re skating alone or with a couple of the guys.”
“Shhh, they aren’t supposed to know that!” Sirius covered Remus’ mouth with his notecard. “This is the very last one. What is my biggest pet peeve?”
“When I leave my socks laying around the house.”
“Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner! That drives me fucking bonkers. Marley, who won?”
“It wasn’t a competition,” she said off-screen. “Just a Q & A.”
“Who got the most right?” Remus asked.
“You two are hopeless,” she muttered. There were a few beats of silence. “Remus won, with sixteen and a half out of seventeen. Sirius, you had fifteen and a half.”
“No.” Sirius groaned and dropped his head into his hands as Remus whooped.
“Hell yes!”
“My bonus points let you win.” He shook his head in disbelief. “I can’t believe this.”
Remus faced the camera with a victorious smile. “Thanks for joining us to witness my landslide victory—”
“It was one point.”
“And make sure to like and subscribe for more Lion Pride content! See you around, Lions.” They both mock-saluted, and the video ended.
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Lovely Writer: Special 1
This is a rough translation of the first Lovely Writer special. There are 8 in total and other side stories that the author compiled. I’ll try to post 1 a week since they do vary in length, and some are a lot lengthier than this one.
This special is from Nubsib’s POV and it’s about Nubsib remembering his feelings for Gene after seeing him on Facebook, and becoming fixated. Nubsib is 15 at the time and Gene is 20.
At that time, I was in the ninth grade.
Since middle school, my parents had sent me to study abroad with my brother. Because of the wealth of my family, this was never an inconvenience. But living alone in a place that wasn’t your home country required a lot of adjustment, mainly doing everything on your own. You had to learn things that you’ve never seen and known.
This was one of the methods of teaching the sons of the Thanakitpaisan family.
It was their luck to have a son who was mature since childhood. It didn't take long for me to get used to the culture there, where I went to parties, attended sports clubs, worked a part-time job, and even had typical American teen sex. Being Asian did give me some advantages, when it came to distinguishing myself from the others.
I could only smile when talking to the many blonde women who bragged about our experiences in bed, amongst their group of friends. After some time, I felt differently about it.
"Sib.”
"Yes?" I leaned back on the sofa, and raised my head from his screen when I heard my name.
Neung came downstairs. He was wearing a thick gray cardigan with a scarf. "I’m going to go meet a friend. You're not going anywhere today, right? "
"Hmm."
"Okay, I might be coming back late. Please get my package when it arrives. You’re not going out with your girlfriend, right?”
"We broke up.”
"Huh?” Neung frowned. "You dumped another one? Again? You know, you don’t have the face of a womanizer.”
"…"
Neung opened the door of the house. For a moment, the cool outside air blew in, until the hot air from the heater disappeared. I didn’t care much about either, and stayed looking at my phone screen.
I’m not a womanizer.
It’s just that every time I got together with a girlfriend, something felt wrong. I knew I wasn’t in love with the first girl. The others, I didn’t like particularly much. Sometimes the girls didn’t like me much either, and only wanted a partner themselves, so we’d eventually separate.
It was true, that I was only in the ninth grade. But sex here was too normalized. It had become so normal that I’d become bored. When sex became so commonplace, all excitement was lost.
Mom: (send picture)
Mom: I’ve sent you Thai ingredients that should be delivered soon. They’ll be waiting for you.
Mom: Today, I went to see Aunt Run, do you still remember the house next door? Today is the Aunt's birthday. All of her sons have come home.
Mom: I saw it and I missed you and Neung.
I looked at the message that popped up, from the other side of the world. It was dark here, but over there it was probably in the middle of the day. It was time for them to eat.
Mom: Do you remember Gene? Gene and Jap are all grown up.
Gene?
After reading my mother’s message, it was natural to think of the past. I missed it. During my childhood I would run and play with him everyday, and just the same, Gene would play with me almost every day.
I still remembered “P’Gene” clearly after all these years.
We were five years apart. But we somehow became closer than me and my own brother. Since I moved out of the house, we never saw each other again. We didn’t have any more contact with each other.
When my mother talked about that time, I felt nostalgic.
I moved my finger to type to ask for a picture from my mother. In the end, I sent a simple sticker. I sat on the sofa in the living room for awhile before retiring to my bedroom to shower.
In my warm bedroom, so different from the night air outside, I picked up my phone again. I went to Facebook to catch up with everything back home. My finger kept scrolling through my news feed, my face blank. I started to feel sleepy, but before I could fall asleep I saw a status.
I wasn’t friends with the person who posted. But I was friends with his mother, who was tagged in the photo.
Jap Jarernpipat posted a picture.
This year, my mother has lost another year, haha.
In the picture was a group of six people. The background was a wide garden and a long table. Both of my parents, and Auntie Run and Uncle Teep were there. But the one that most caught the eye was the man in the lower right corner.
The other person grinned until his eyes were crescents. His hands were raised, flashing a peace sign. His hand held a cake tray with a delicious golden egg. The corner of the mouth was stained with white cream, like he was teasing someone. He was smiling, which made his cheeks round and full.
I couldn't take my eyes off of him. For a second, there was a strange numbness in my fingertips and toes.
I didn’t need anyone to tell me who that was.
P’Gene.
He was still wearing a white uniform shirt. It had been many years since we’d met, if counted by age. Gene would have been in university for three years.
Usually, I was the kind of person who didn’t care about the people around me, or anyone else. But this time, I couldn't control my fingertips. I clicked onto Jap’s Facebook page.
Chasing him down, I found a status posted with the person I was looking for tagged.
Jap Jarernpipat posted a picture
My brother brought me to the movies. What kind of crazy alien movie is this? I might puke, but maybe you guys on Facebook will like it.
The post was from three days ago. One was a picture of a cinema ticket on the top floor of a department store in the heart of Bangkok and the other was of P’Gene in a T-shirt and jeans. He hugged a bucket of popcorn. His hand was holding a large glass of water, lifting it up to his lips and sucking. It was a funny candid photo that many of his friends on Facebook commented on to make fun of him.
...but for me, the only word that came to mind was “lovely”.
I didn’t know why I was doing this but I pressed “save that image”.
Jap Jarernpipat posted a picture
My stupid little brother, you make the whole house look bad.
They were in a garden in the corner of the house that felt familiar to me, but was a little fuzzy. They were in front of a flower bush that had been trimmed into a square. Gene was sitting down, with his butt on the ground. A blue hose fell next to him, the hose spraying in another direction. It made him wet all over soaking his shirt, the thin material clinging to his body.
Both of his arms were behind him, to support his body. Therefore, his shirt and body were stretched, so I could see two small nubs contrasted and poking through his white shirt.
My eyebrows furrowed together, and I frowned.
I cursed when my body immediately had a strong reaction, just from the one picture.
I pressed the comment section, when I saw the high number of comments.
Jiranon Jarernpipat: Jap stop posting pictures of other people.
(Reply) Jap Jarernpipat attached video clip.
I clicked play immediately.
"Ow, P’Jap!”
“Hahaha, why would you say you’ll help me water the plants? You can help if the grass is dead.”
“Can you turn off the water for me first? Why are you recording?”
P’Gene raised his white hand. He wiped the water from his face, and pushed himself off the ground. His shirt clung to his body, so I could see everything. He had the voice of a man, but he was still so cute.
Finally, the clip ended.
There were still a lot of other videos that Jap posted pranking Gene, all of which stopped me from becoming bored. I saved all of them to my phone and computer. In the end, when more and more accumulated, I created a whole separate folder.
That night when I fell asleep, my brain was filled with pictures of the boy next door, who I hadn’t seen in years.
Another morning, days later, I woke up frowning, and I had to gently breathe out. I’d dreamt of P’Gene again. Since seeing that picture that night, there hadn’t been a day where I could go without seeing his face.
I knew Gene’s Facebook. But he didn’t update much, except to change his avatar or cover photo. But Jap’s Facebook page had tons of pictures of Gene. So I was still able to look at Gene’s pictures and progress in life everyday, like some kind of psychopath.
Even when I closed my eyes to sleep sometimes, I still saw his pictures.
I didn’t want to be this way, but I couldn’t control my subconscious.
I always saw Gene lying in my wide bed. He would smile at me, his cheeks soft and reddish. His hands would hold on to me, and his mouth would gently say, “Sib.”
It was a fantasy that any teenage boy would have. But it wasn’t a woman. Instead, it was the boy next door, who always loved and saw me as a brother.
I circled back to look at his pictures every day. In the end, the feeling accumulated like a huge mountain of snow.
I want to meet him in real life.
I want to hug him.
I want to smell him.
I want to kiss his mouth. I want to do to him what I do in my dreams.
Since the day I saw his picture and until today, my thoughts and feelings had become more and more intense. So intense, that sometimes I was afraid of myself.
I’d already decided how I’d deal with this.
“Will you finish school here?” Neung had packed all his bags and was ready to go because he finished his studies. I leaned against the door frame, looking into his room.
“Actually, it’s nice here too, you know.”
"No, I'm going home."
“So you’ve changed your mind then?”
I nodded.
“Well, our house is nice and of course, our parents miss you too.”
"…"
"I'm not going to be here anymore, don't bring any women into the house...but you're not dating any girls lately. So it's fine."
I sent off my brother, who took a taxi straight to the airport to go back home to Thailand. Personally, I still had a year to complete my studies.
In the past, I had never thought or worried about how fast or slow time would pass. But now, I felt jealous of my brother.
Back at the house, I picked up the phone. I was still for a while. Maybe it was because Neung had returned to Thailand, but I felt like chasing pictures wasn’t enough anymore. My fingers moved before I could decide to send a message to someone.
Nubsib tanagijpaisarn: P'Jap.
Nubsib tanagijpaisarn: Do you remember me?
I wanted to talk to someone who could tell me everything about P’Gene.
I wanted to learn everything about him.
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*Following the trend and re-taking and responding to my very first survey on here from December 2014...SIX years ago!*
Are you attracted to the last person that kissed you? Sigh. Very much so. <<< Wow, that was when I was all in love Joseph. I’ve long since moved on.
What did you do yesterday? I’ve been on break for the past week and I can honestly say I haven’t really done anything. It’s been kinda nice. <<< Back when I was in school and doing something with my life and had breaks to look forward to. Now I’ve been on break since 2015 and doing absolutely nothing. Anyway, yesterday I slept in past 3PM, had my coffee, checked social medias, played Animal Crossing, watched a few episodes of The Gilmore Girls, had dinner and chilled with my mom the rest of the night while watching another special on the ID channel (they’re doing a different one every night all this week).
Something you really want right now? Hmm. I don’t really want anything at this exact moment. <<< I’d love for this hot, gross, miserable weather to go away and to just fast forward to autumn.
What were you doing an hour ago? Making this side blog. <<< Awww, can’t believe I’ve had it for six years now. An hour ago I was scrolling through Tumblr and listening to ASMR.
If you could seek revenge on someone would you? Nahh. I’m not revengeful. <<< Yeah, I’ve never been a vengeful person.
Does any part of your body hurt right now? Nope. <<< Yes.
Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed? Sighhhh. It’s been like two years since I’ve kissed anyone. I feel so deprived of any affection. The situation with me and ~him is complicated. Isn’t it always? <<< Ohhh boy, it most certainly was. Ha, if I felt deprived then imagine six years later.
Can you recall the last time you liked someone? Yep. Right this very second. I more than like him at this point, but like I said. It’s complicated. <<< It was such a mess. I don’t know why I allowed it to go on as long as it did. :/ I should have known nothing was going to change. Since that time with Joseph, I fell in love with Ty and I thought that was actually going to lead to something, but surprise, surprise it did not.
Would you ever get a tattoo? I want to. I’m just a big ol’ baby. <<< Yep, still am. I highly doubt I’ll ever get it done.
Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? HA. That’s funny. <<< *Spongebob transition thing: Six. Years. Later.* Still single!
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Uhh. Probs my mom yesterday when she called from work. <<< My mom yesterday when she called from the store.
Who was the last person you talked to in person? My brother. <<< Yep.
What plans do you have for tomorrow? Coffee with Amanda. Maybe get some more Christmas shopping done. Hopefully! <<< Omggg, back when I had friends and actually did stuff! ha. And aww, Christmas shopping. Wow, going out and doing things back when we weren’t going through a worldwide pandemic. Presently, I don’t have any plans for tomorrow.
Has a friendship ended recently that you wish had not? Not recently, but yes a friendship has ended that I wish had not. <<< All my friendships ended a few years ago...
What are you listening to right now? Hey Arnold. <<< An ASMR video.
What happened at 9:00 am today? It hasn’t been 9am yet, but I imagine my ass will be on the couch scrolling through Tumblr and watching tv. Exciting stuff, guys. <<< Ha, you won’t catch my ass up at 9AM anymore. I’ll be sleeping.
Ever given your ALL to someone who walked away? Yes. I put my heart on the line and they walked away. Awesome. <<< Yepppp. Twice.
Have you ever kissed the last person you texted? Nooo. <<< Just on the cheek.
Do you and your last ex hate each other? Nah. We don’t talk, but there’s no hard feelings. <<< Same.
What are you afraid of? Life. Death. <<< That sums it up quite well. Short and precise.
When was the last time you were sick? Always. <<< True. I’ve also been getting this gross nauseous feeling that comes and goes that hits at random. As for a virus or something of that sort, I had a cold back in April.
Are you one of those people who are always cold? No. Although, I am right now. <<< Nooo, definitely not. I’m someone who seems to be hot a lot of the time. Like now. I wish I was cold.
Where are your biological parents? In their room. Sleeping. <<< That’s where they are now, too. I swear they haven’t been there since then. ha.
Do you have any summer plans yet? I wish. It’s still awhile away, though. It could change. <<< There won’t be any summer plans this year.
Do you tend to waste a lot of money? On food. Always. <<< I don’t spend much on food anymore, actually. I’ve gotten better about my online shopping, too. I’ve been better at saving money these days than I used to be.
Last thing that you said out loud? “Goodnight, Jon.” <<< “Goodnight.” I’ve pretty much always done my surveys at night, so.
Do you have trust issues? It’s not really trust issues. I just have a hard time opening up in general. <<< Still have that problem. I keep a lot to myself. I’m not at all open like I am on here.
Do you think this year will be better than the last? This year is just about over, which is crazy. I always hope the next year will be better, but there’s always something. <<< Omg. This survey was done in 2014. The next year I graduated UC and shortly after that is when things started going downhill. :/
What are you doing? This pretty much. My tv is on, but it’s background noise. <<< Same, but I’m also listening to an ASMR video.
Are you a jealous person? Yes, but not like psycho jealous. You probably wouldn’t even know it. <<< Yeah. I haven’t felt jealous in a longgg time, though.
Do you think age matters in relationships? Well, yes. To an extent. <<< Yep.
When was the last time you got a haircut? I think maybe back in July. Or a little before then. I’m trying to grow out my hair now. I’m over short hair. <<< My hair was so short then, but now it’s down to my butt! I just got a couple inches cut off back in February.
Do you know anyone that smokes weed? Tons of people. <<< Yep.
Who is the last person you rode in a car with? Mom & brother. <<< My brother.
What is one thing you’d love to happen tomorrow? I’d like to get more Christmas shopping done. My plans for that are still up in the air. I can’t believe Christmas is already next week like wth??? That went by SO FAST. <<< Uhhh, perhaps get Wingstop for dinner.
Did you sing at all today? Yes. <<< Not so far.
Do you look more like your mom or your dad? My mom. <<< Yeah, that hasn’t changed.
Where will you be 2 hours from now? In bed asleep. <<< Right here in bed, probably reading for a bit.
Are there any stressful situations in your life? A few. <<< A lot.
Are your lips chapped at the moment? Nope I’m good thanks for asking. <<< Ugh, yes. I keep licking them because I have fans blowing on me all day.
When you met the person you now love, what happened?: Uh well we met through a mutual. Nothing happened right away. He pursued me first after awhile, but I wasn’t interested initially. Boy did that change. <<< I don’t understand why he did that. He was never interested in really pursuing anything with me, but sure made me think that and I fell for him. He knew how I felt about him and he kept playing me. ANYWAY, I don’t currently love anyone in the romantic sense.
Did you realize anything today?: No, but it’s early. <<< Not so far.
What do you need right now?: Sleep probably. <<< Yeah, I definitely need that.
What’s your favorite food?: Mongolian BBQ. <<< Man, I was obSESSED with Mongolian BBQ for the longest. I miss that. D: I can’t eat spicy food anymore, sadly. Ugh, it was SO good. My favorite food now is garlic parm and lemon pepper wings from Wingstop.
How are you feeling today?: Just kind of whatever. It’s 1 in the morning. <<< Hot and tired and blah.
What is your biggest fear?: Life and death. <<< We went over this already in this survey...
Describe your looks to us: Ugly? Ha. I don’t know. Look at my avatar. <<< Yeah, look at my avatar.
Have you ever woke up next to someone and wanted to puke? UH no I can honestly say I have not. <<< Nope, thankfully.
What are you listening to right now? Degrassi. <<< An ASMR video still.
Are you afraid of death? Very. <<< Yes.
Do you open up to people easily? No. It takes a lot. <<< I’m still that way. Even people I’m close with I still struggle with that.
Do you miss anyone? So very much. <<< There’s always a few loved ones I’ll miss that have passed away.
What are you going to do tomorrow? I feel like I’ve been asked this a billion times. <<< For real, we’ve been over this.
Does any part of your body hurt right now? Noooo. <<< Yes.
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Part Four IT Microfiction!
Pennywise is never far from my mind. He is a fascinating, annoying, and terrifying presence in my life. I never had this close of contact with a subject and he alludes to the idea that there are more like him. I want to understand him and where he comes from. I only know the bare basics about him. He’s an alien from another dimension. His name is not pronounceable with human vocal cords. Technically, he is not a he, just that the closest representation of his true self is a male by human standards. He is millions of years old. Something about being pure energy and a giant spider… He had some sort of quarrel with a turtle?
When he’s not with me (which is 99% of his time), he’s in the sewers hiding or doing whatever aliens do. He used to also hide in an old house and scare anyone who dared come within his reach, but it was torn down in ’95. Inside was the old well that supplied the city in its first few years. It was sealed during the demolition. He would often use that well as access to and from the sewers. I’d never venture to either one or want think of all the places my mouth has been on the body of something that spends it’s time in the sewers.
I think he liked having that house, he still complains about a kid who insulted it.
“He called it a crack house! I know what crack is!” He exclaims, indignantly.
“Well, you did live in a crack house.” I reply.
“That’s not the point!” He huffs and pouts.
I try to puzzle him out. Are we talking Mass Effect like aliens who are civilized or xenomorphs that are more animalistic? He’s obviously intelligent and sentient so the rest of his species must be too. Did he come from an established society? Did he have parents or some sort of family line?
I decided to try to interview him one day. I expected it to be like herding squirrels. He doesn’t have the greatest attention span. I wasn’t sure what I would do with the information, I couldn’t slap it on my blog proclaiming I had managed to interview a cryptid. No one would take me seriously ever again. It’s ironic, I run a paranormal blog were my readers want this kind of contact, but the minute I make real and tangible contact with a subject like I have with Pennywise and put it out there, I’d be fitted for a strait jacket.
“Where are you from?” I asked, my phone recording us. Most paranormal phenomenon messed with electronics. His presence never caused such a thing.
He thought for a moment, then grabbed my hand and led me outside. He looked up at the sky, spun in a half circle and moved a few feet past my house.
“Right there,” He said pointing to a spot in the sky.
For all I knew, he could be pointing to an arbitrary spot.
Suddenly, he starts sniffing like a bloodhound, creeping up on a scent.
“I can smell the internet.” He says and is gone.
I am left there trying to understand his thought process but decide it’s better not to.
A few days later, I was able to understand what he meant. Prior to the ‘I smell the internet’ thing, I had gotten a hate comment on one of my posts. It was the same dribble most women get when taking up space online, ‘I’ll rape you till you die cunt’ and mansplaining how I was wrong about everything. It was an unfortunately common occurrence.
I thought nothing of it, that it was just some guy who was angry that he couldn’t get off. I deleted the comment and reported it to my hosting domain.
The next day, I was at the grocery store stocking up for the week. A fat hand reached for the same box of cereal I was grabbing for and we both knocked it to the ground. I bent to pick up when I noticed this person had a literal bite mark in his chubby, hairy calf. I stood thinking that maybe he ran into a grumpy dog. He looked at me like most people look at Pennywise.
“Are you okay, dude?” I asked.
“I’m sorry!” He exclaimed, running out of the store.
Later that day, I got an email about the comment from my host saying the user had lost their account privileges. It displayed the comment in question and the user’s avatar. It was the man from the grocery store.
Just looking at this slovenly and sweaty guy, I could see why Pennywise only took a chunk of his leg. He does have some dietary standards it seems.
Living with him has been a weird experience. It’s like living with a komodo dragon. It could probably kill you. He may humanoid, but he was still a bit feral. Yeah, I have a feral clown living with me.
Most of his knowledge about humans is outdated or he simply has no concept of something. His contact with humans was limited to stalking and eating them before he met me. He knew what sex was, it’s purpose and how humans do it. He had the broad strokes, but not the fine details. I’d thought he die of an orgasm when I introduced him to period sex.
He understands most human limitations (and disregards or exploits them), that when we’re born, we’re more or else stuck with our appearance. I found him watching shows about plastic surgery on my laptop and the only word that seemingly encapsulates his feelings towards surgery is: barbaric; that humans, sometimes electively, will let other humans tear us open, move stuff around, add something new or take something away completely. More irony. I would assume the healthcare system where he’s from is quite different. Not all of us are shapeshifters like you are, Penn.
He’s not actually a clown, he knows just as much about the persona to lure victims in. A clown is just the form he likes the best; it helps him catch his meals and scares people, a win-win for him. Kids (an easy target) like clowns and people fear them.
An annoying thing he does is taking my things. I lost so many pairs of panties to that dumb clown alien. He took my fluffy makeup powder brush AND my favorite highlighters (as in the writing utensil and makeup product). He even stole my favorite blanket. What will he take next? My favorite novel? Can he even read English? Does his species have a writing system?
He likes to watch me cook, which is funny since he lives on a raw diet. I probably should detest him, but obviously, his species is higher on the food chain than humans. Maybe I’m rationalizing it. We shouldn’t mess with the natural order of things. I am rationalizing it.
I gave him War Heads candy once and he has been constantly sucking on one or six, grimacing at the sourness and drooling. I want to give him Pop Rocks next. I plan to actually cook a simple meal for him, just to see what’ll happen.
He drank one of my perfumes, too, thinking it was potable. Maybe it was to him, it didn’t seem to bother him.
I watched in horror as a $90 liquid slid down his throat.
“That was Marc Jacobs, you idiot!” I screeched.
He didn’t understand.
“You spray it on yourself to smell good.” I explained, tersely.
“You smell tasty to me without it.” He shrugged.
I took the bottle from his gloved hand, cradling it like an injured bird. “It wasn’t for you to enjoy.”
He took my phone while I was napping. He found YouTube watched four cat videos, three Lady Gaga music videos (good taste, my clown alien), one and half makeup tutorials and seven from NASA about aliens and our galaxy. In between videos, he texted my mom for an hour.
Mom: Hi, honey, are you still in Maine?
Pennywise: The main Maine mane!!!!!!!!
Mom: Clever. How is your article coming?
Pennywise: Stupendously!!!!!!!
Mom: That’s good, Dad and I were getting curious, you’ve never stayed somewhere this long before.
Pennywise: I met someone!!!!
Mom: Really?
Pennywise: He’s a real looker, too!!1!1
Mom: Is he from Maine?
Pennywise: Sort of!!!! :D
Mom: You’re acting strange, are you drunk?
Pennywise: What’s drunk? That sounds fun!!
I started to wake up around this point and haven’t heard back from Mom. I have no idea how I’ll explain this. Guess he can read English.
He may take my stuff, but he’ll also bring me stuff. He’s brought me a beautiful and ornate vintage jewelry box that was probably made before my grandparents were born; a handful of marbles, a key that is probably older than the country, a freshly molted feather from a raven, a raw amethyst and a single earring that looked like it was from the 80s.
I think he sees me as his human, someone worthy of his attention and protection (while still wanting to eat me. That’s the ultimate possession, I guess?). I think his gifts are endearing, but the second he brings a snack with him and/or one for me, we’re going to have issues.
It all leaves me wondering is this how his species shows romantic affection. How does his species mark their loved ones to show the rest of society that they are off the market? Bringing gifts, spending a lot of time with their significant other and a possessive protection while still wanting to eat me is my best guess.
I am protected by a bucktooth, feral clown.
Yep.
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New top story from Time: These Are the Best Memes of 2019 So Far
Memes are hard to quantify, hard to define, even harder to predict. But for citizens of the online world, they drive and organize conversation. They’re jokes; they’re language; they’re ways to make friends, tell stories and explain (or criticize, or satirize) society. Lucky for us, then, that 2019 has given us no shortage of meme material and plenty of memes that have trended virally, infiltrating the way we communicate and becoming part of our contemporary slang.
Here’s our take on the best memes of 2019 so far, from those associated with celebrities to the viral videos and moments that have sparked so much joy.
Read TIME’s picks for the best movies of 2019 — so far.
Celebrities as things
In the spring, Twitter started to become populated with threads that showed a popular celebrity compared to a thing in an associated color. (Think: Tyler, The Creator as different Yankee candles.) The “celebrities as things… a thread” meme can be traced back to one user who put together a thread of Beyoncé and sea sponges. One thread, of Ben Affleck and Dunkin Donuts beverages, was particularly popular. Mariah Carey even retweeted a thread of herself and… whisks. It turned out to be one of the more creative (and nonsensical) memes to take over Twitter of the year so far.
Beyoncé as Sea Sponges, a thread pic.twitter.com/8Wy6uonkOy
— eric (@BeyStillCares) March 30, 2019
Ben Affleck as beverages from Dunkin Donuts pic.twitter.com/87orSgdzFI
— amelia wedemeyer (@ameliadeew) April 13, 2019
Some of you… and it shows
Consider this meme the ultimate sub-tweet. Early in the year, Twitter denizens began to dunk on other users by using the construction “some of you _____, and it shows,” pointing out certain life experiences that set them apart. (Often, it was used to identify particular privileges or very specific phases or sub-cultural trends.) The meme continued apace through the spring, too, with plenty variations catching on.
some of y'all were raised in homes with those granite islands in the kitchen and it shows
— cersei lannister updates (@ammascrelln) December 27, 2018
some of y’all didn’t have an emo phase and it shows
— ༺✩༻ (@wrathspit) December 31, 2018
So, Twitter, meet my dad
In late March, one proud son shared a set of photos of his dad, a former pastor named Clint Hayslett, who had decided to take a career pivot. “My dad is 45, pursuing a modeling career, and I’ve never seen him happier. He told me he’s just waiting for a chance to blow up. So, Twitter, meet my dad,” he shared. The tweet rapidly went viral — and Haylsett did indeed blow up, with his son updating that he booked gigs after the tweet’s success. But it had an even bigger impact beyond Hayslett and his family: people began sharing attractive photos of any number of famous people and family members (from Steve Carrell to Lin Manuel Miranda’s dad) who fit the caption, “introducing” them to Twitter. What did he make of all that attention? “I’m wiped out. I’m worn out. I’ve never held my phone for so many hours. It’s very humbling and inspiring,” he told TIME.
My dad is 45, pursuing a modeling career, and I’ve never seen him happier. He told me he’s just waiting for a chance to blow up. So, Twitter, meet my dad. pic.twitter.com/zYSmZGbPCn
— Collin (@coolcat_collin) March 28, 2019
My dad is 45, pursuing a modeling career, and I’ve never seen him happier. He told me he’s just waiting for a chance to blow up. So, Twitter, meet my dad. pic.twitter.com/xbW9PXtmHw
— tony (@tttonyy) March 29, 2019
Film studies
“This shot was brilliant and should be shown in any film study class,” one person wrote on Twitter following the Game of Thrones finale episode in May, sharing a photo of Daenerys Targaryen facing her troops after the battle of King’s Landing. Behind her, her dragon Drogon is spreading his wings dramatically in preparation to take flight; it looks as though Daenerys herself has sprouted wings. (The tweet has since been deleted.) In the wake of the episode, everyone latched on to this effusive praise to share their own versions of shots that should be studied in film class — from funny moments on the set of Thrones to other scenes in iconic franchises that don’t quite measure up.
This shot is beautiful and should be taught in any film studies class. pic.twitter.com/1zd4mZfEXp
— Alex Goldschmidt (@alexandergold) May 21, 2019
This shot is beautiful and should be taught in any film studies class. pic.twitter.com/r41WnNIXuK
— Zach Braff (@zachbraff) May 20, 2019
“Act My Age”
In 2014, a choreographer mom, Willona Za’Vier, and her two sons Aspect and Dexter, recorded a video of the trio dancing in a circle, their moves perfectly synchronized. According to Buzzfeed, originally they were dancing to a song called “Drop” by Freco and Merloa. But in 2017, after the video had morphed into a Vine, it was shared on Twitter and set to the One Direction song “Act My Age.” It was a hit, and Twitter ran away with it, captioning it with all kinds of funny descriptions about people, characters or things banding together to celebrate.
germany italy and japan after signing the berlin pact and forming the axis powers
pic.twitter.com/cPdxGrnMiY
— jaboukie (@jaboukie) February 17, 2019
The last three dollars in my bank account that survived the weekend pic.twitter.com/HsVgLrEJkz
— Shabba Ranks stan account (@WavyUltima) February 17, 2019
Black hole
In April, researchers with the Event Horizon Telescope team announced they had successfully constructed the first image of a black hole. The photo — of an expanse of blackness, lit by a circular, orange, slightly blurry ring — was widely circulated online with excitement. And then, the inevitable: the memes.
NSF: Amazing first photo of black hole! This changes everything!
Sauron: Mother? pic.twitter.com/4ML5ytcZuX
— Sarah Parcak (@indyfromspace) April 10, 2019
This photo of the black hole is awesome, but wait… Enhance! Hmm, enhance! One more time, enhance! Whoa. The biggest Cinnamon Raisin Bagel in the world, and it's still hot! #EHT #EventHorizonTelescope pic.twitter.com/aPDVtLHF2u
— Gabor Heja (@gheja_) April 10, 2019
I’m baby
Who knows what it means? Who cares? When sometimes life seems overwhelming, and being a grown-up is getting you down, the internet has an answer: just say “I’m baby.” (That said, KnowYourMeme traces the phrase’s roots back to an AutoCorrect of a text message between a mother and daughter in 2017, although its popularity as a meme didn’t really take off until this year.)
Me explaining to my boyfriend why he can’t scold me: pic.twitter.com/hYR0ucimnv
— 𝓶𝓸𝓮𝓼𝓱𝓪 🐻✨🍒 (@Moeshayan) February 22, 2019
Leave it to Archie Comics to capitalize on royal baby mania when Meghan Markle’s first son was born.
i'm baby
— Archie Comics (@ArchieComics) May 8, 2019
“I love mess”
Marie Kondo is the undisputed queen of tidying up — she literally wrote the book on it, and the joy it sparks. After the Japanese cleanliness guru’s show debuted on Netflix, viewers were drawn to her calm, methodical approach to cleaning up people’s homes (and, thereby, lives). But one line from the show, which shows Kondo saying “I love mess” in Japanese with English subtitles, has taken on a life of its own as a meme. After all, who doesn’t love a little mess — in the form of online drama, anyway?
Ah sh-t here we go again
Way back in 2004, the Playstation 2 video game Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas opens with a scene of main character Carl “CJ” Johnson walking through hostile territory. Strutting down a dusty road, he proclaims: “Ah sh-t, here we go again.” Cut to today, when this scene has resurfaced as a much-used GIF to describe exasperation and frustration. History repeats itself, and CJ is everyone’s avatar in that moment.
This could be interesting from MemeEconomy
this december pic.twitter.com/xgFIR2sLNL
— Rebel Scum Finn (@realtraitorfinn) April 11, 2019
‘Passive-aggressive’ Daenerys
In the second episode of the eighth season of Game of Thrones, Daenerys Targaryen has a private sit-down chat with Sansa Stark to see if they can get over their differences. (Mainly, Sansa doesn’t want to bend the knee to Queen Daenerys; Dany, for her part, will not take no for an answer.) It’s a battle of wills that see the two find some common ground in their shared love of Jon Snow, but towards the end of the talk, it’s clear they have irreconcilable differences. At one point, a shot of actress Emilia Clarke shows her in a clenched-lip smize — the kind of patronizing look we deliver when we’re trying to be nice, but struggling. Naturally, it’s a relatable meme. Thrones may be over, but the memes live on.
I’d like to speak with your supervisor. https://t.co/gsakC2grdu
— johnny urie (@Iceman81X) April 23, 2019
Per my last email face https://t.co/xKjuwR94u8
— Matthew A. Cherry 🏁 (@MatthewACherry) April 23, 2019
via https://cutslicedanddiced.wordpress.com/2018/01/24/how-to-prevent-food-from-going-to-waste
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