#I think IM autistic and thus bad at socializing and being Normal ™ and then theres him...
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My boy... Fabian... Needs help im crying
#miranda talking shit#I think IM autistic and thus bad at socializing and being Normal ™ and then theres him...#Hes planning to hit up an conversation with a girl at the gym tomorrow and i... He asked me how and for tips#The first things he said made me scream and i had to explain to him that he cannot say that shit#...he overheard her talking that shes planning to train at the gym tomorrow at 3pm again... And he wanted to#Open an conversation with her with that 'i overheard you saying you'd be here today so i wanted to say hi' like my dude my guy thats#So scary DO NOT !!! then i explained it and said it outloud to him and he was like 'okay now that i hear it. Its creepy'#Yeah... Dont say that shit holy hell. I know he has 0 experience with talking to girls outside of like... School#But damn my dude i fear for you 😔 i know him so i know hes a nice guy but he really... Don't ... Know how to talk to people ....#Double for girls. He have said that im his reference to ... Girls in general are and such and im feel bad for him#Im mentally unstable and ill and just has 0 filters... Majority of girls aren't in my catagory...#I really am wondering if hes on the spectrum too or just ... Extremely socially inept... Im kinda glad he tells me and asks me before#Anything... Bc that... Oh no buddy that could be bad ... I want to encourage him to step out of his comfort zone and be social with#New people but also im like bro... Be normal please i beg you... Be cool...#I gave him suggestions on what to say or ask. Aka ... Ask some gym question since you both gym... If she listens to#Music maybe ask what shes listening to? Just be... Safe and boring. You dont know each other yet so just make contact and then go#Hi i was in the discord channel in bed and he jumped into it and gave me an heart attack and then dumped this on me#My many conflicting feelings are hitting me badly like goddamn. He's obviously nervous and excited about just talking to her potentially#And yeah. Him asking me an autistic person who has social problems in my diagnose criteria is both hilarious and worrying#I think he'll be okay now tho... But damn.
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Me: I want to spend more time with people, I miss close contact with others :(
Also me: -only wants to spend time with 4 ppl irl, none of which live close by or have the ability to come by-
#miranda talking shit#My autistic mind do many intresting things for me. Some of which is fun but tge fact im so selective witb people is annoying#Like i feel annoying. I just want to be with those people but i cant so my brain is like 'well then i dont want to :( why am i lonely?'#I have more than one friend in my city i could spend time with but they... Arent one of the 4 golden chosen people so i ):#I dony hate them or anything they are nice but my obsessive minf just want to be with 4 ppl majority of the time#Bc they are the 4 people who take little energy from me or even give me energy socially#Everyone else i feel take more than give. Not their fault just how im built and how comfortable i am around others#Im so obsessive over fabian bc hes one of the very few i can talk with for maby hours. Without me noticing#I understand im annoying him and probably being a bother since i always want to talk to him but hes obe of the select few#Few times he actually take energy from me is when im already in a bad mental state and then everyone tire me . Otherwise he just doesnt#Tire me. Think its bc ive learned i dont HAVE to be fun and entertain him. We can just sit and do our own thing whule on discord#Silence is good with him . I like silence in general but always am anxious others hate it or find it awkward. But he have expressed#He likes silence and reassured me he doesnt need me to talk or fill silence. I hate how weirdly obsessive i am and get especially towards#People. No one wants that kind of attention from me and i try to not be Extra ™ but also like.... Its a nice feeling?#I like loving people. And talking to those people... I just dont ever know when im too much. Bc in the moment its#So hard to monitor... Where the 'normal' social lines are drawn. And it goes double when its people i already know and thus love#Then my brain is just '!!!! Omg i love them :)!!!!' and i dont think as much about how i... Appear and act#Would love to find someone who would actually like the type of attention I give and not to feel i am too much all the time...#Mirandas friends
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