#Music maybe ask what shes listening to? Just be... Safe and boring. You dont know each other yet so just make contact and then go

[mrfoox]

My boy... Fabian... Needs help im crying

[patronsaintofmath]

i wish old man daniel was my grandpa or smth. i wish i could go hiking w him more & listen to his anecdotes & i wanna make him laugh. when i went hiking w him at corbett lake it was just the two of us in the car for the most part (about 4 hours total) & i was worried i’d be awkward or too boring for him but he loves to talk & i prefer to listen so he talked the entire ride & im so grateful for that. when we drove back to the city, i didn’t even want to leave the car i kinda just wanted to keep listening to his stories. we don’t know each other that well. in fact, we’ve only gone hiking 4 times together. but each time i’ve carpooled w him & have hiked right by his side. i think it’s funny that every time we go back to the city, i fall asleep while he drives. it makes me feel like a little kid 😭. also when he sprayed bug spray on me & brought me my sandals. that made me feel like a little kid. also i just appreciate that he didn’t accept the beer bc i was in the car w him & he was gonna drive. so he was being safe. when we were in the car he talked about his family. he told me about his abusive mother & his sister’s passing. & he asked me if i knew anyone w an addiction & i told him my father’s an alcoholic & we just shared a bit more about our family & i don’t know i think we got to know each other a bit better. he sometimes has his senior moments where he talks smack about tHe neW gEnERatiOn & how he quit his teaching jobs bc he hates kids. so sometimes i’m like damn does he hate me 😭??? but other times i think this could be good for us. i didn’t have a relationship with either of my grandfathers & old man daniel didn’t have kids or nieces/nephews. so i don’t know i think we could complement each other in that way. i learn a lot from him. i may not have much to contribute but maybe i can teach him something in the future. hopefully i see him again. i go back to my studies in two days. i’ll be busy every weekday w my studies & work. usually old man daniel goes hiking during the week bc there’s too much traffic (vehicles & humans) on weekends. so maybe i won’t see him until next semester or maybe even next summer. that kinda bums me out. in fact, i’m a little sad. i know i just met him two months ago. but maybe i just really want an older male figure in my life. i forgot to tell him not to die when i said bye to him. the neat thing is we have each other on social media now. he even shared his playlist w me 😭 i think he does this w everyone bc he LOVES to talk with everyone. i’m pretty sure he has some form of adhd & i even told him & he thinks he does too but more specifically Add. he took a fire pic of me like w my back turned & im facing the lake we hiked to. it was cool. typing this is making me tear up for some reason. I DONT EVEN KNOW THE MAN LIKE THAT. what if he does think i’m annoying. it’s very probable. there’s tears now. maybe i’m just mourning what could have been. i had even said to my friends that old man daniel & i were like the old man & the kid in the movie Up. now i’m sad. this’ll pass. i felt this way w my priest. as you’ll see there’s a pattern here. i get attached to adults who’s company i enjoy & who i learn from & who make me feel better. but you know what im just happy that i know this old man. it’s ok that im shedding tears. as long as it’s not in front of anyone bc then i’ll just seem crazy & delusional. only i understand why i’m sad. i do miss old man daniel & i don’t know how to deal w that.

some stuff he’s told me so i won’t forget: he had a sister, josefina. she passed away when she was 30 from lupus. he likes 60’s music the most but he also listens to grunge like alice in chains, nirvana, & pearl jam. he’s got a collection of rocks. he also takes a bunch of pictures of everything & everywhere he goes. he downloads the pictures onto his computer when he gets home. he’s always liked to hike & camp & backpack since he was a teenager.

i’ll add more about him.