#I thought this would turn out horrible before I added the spicy dramatic lighting

[shinyangelhalo]

"I'm getting a family! That's what. A proper family...Then everything will be just right." - Goldilocks

[xhanisai]

Blanc Noise - Chapter One

AO3 / FFN

Summary: 

It first began with the feeling of being watched and the flicker of shadows.

Then along came missing items being returned in the most odd places.

Soon it was the glimpses of blue eyes in the darkness and a silhouette of white that haunted her.

Marinette thought she saved him, that she saved her Chat Noir from the dystopian timeline.

She was wrong...oh so wrong...

A/N: Wassup mah d00ds! I hope you're all doing well and everything! Anyways, on tumblr, I made a quick AU of 'What if Chat Blanc comes back but as a ghost?' and it got lots of positive attention hence I decided to start a full fledged story. After all, I am a fucking slut for Mariblanc~ Big thanks to my good friend @/gale-of-the-nomads for the title name (sometimes, he has a good idea or two despite the amount of terrible puns he spews lol). Nevertheless, enjoy! P.S: The story takes place after the episode: Ladybug. Therefore, Maître Fu is still around, the love square is still going strong and Ladybug is not the guardian. Additionally, I've tweaked the timeline. The duo have now started their final year in collège in September (the events of Ladybug happened just before the summer holidays). Do I make myself clear? Good. Have fun! Song listened to whilst writing: White Silence - TK from Ling tosite sigure

~(x)~ . . . "MmmMhmm! That smells amazing! What have brought this time, My Lady?" The feline hero leapt to his feet, faux ears and tails wiggling with delight and pupils dilating with elation. Ladybug laughed softly at her endearing partner, sitting down on their favourite beam of the Eiffel Tower and beckoning the boy to come closer, wiggling the Tupperware in her hand teasingly. Chat Noir didn't hesitate to scurry towards her, plopping down on the spot opposite the heroine as she placed the container in his greedy hands. If he wasn't such a gentleman, he would have immediately tore off the lid and scarfed the delectable goodies down his throat like the alley cat his Lady proclaimed him to be. "Guess." Ladybug humoured him. "And before you ask, the clue is that it's a savoury dish this time. Don't shake it up too much." She playfully took it away from him and then placed it on the spot between them, grinning as Chat's face scrunched up into a thinking expression. Lips pursed, eyes narrowed and arms folded. Absolutely adorable. "Hm...it can't be steamed garlic prawns. You brought that yesterday." Noir mused. "And it doesn't smell like duck pancakes either." He added, scrutinising the mystery within the container. "You mean the Běijīng kǎoyā? Not after that horrible heartburn it gave you last week." Ladybug cheekily flicked his forehead, earning an annoyed grunt from him. "Geez no need to flex on the Chinese, Mlle. I don't know a lick of Mandarin." He tried to swat away Ladybug's hands when she attempted to poke him for making fun of her, chuckling at her mock angry face. "Okay okay! I'll behave- the heartburn was worth it by the way~ I started to crave for more days after, hahaha-" "I know SOME Mandarin, stupid!" "Insults and crude words do not count, My Lady." "Just guess the food in the Tupperware already or else I won't share!" Her threat froze the black cat comically. Chat quickly blabbered out apologies, clearing his throat and then eyed the container again. The sound of his stomach rumbling broke the silence, embarrassing the hero whilst his partner barely kept in her snickers. "Vermicelli rolls?" "Nope." "Kung-Pao chicken?" "Nah." "...wontons?" "You're getting closer," "Agh...okay from when I shook it, it sounded quite hard and crispy so..." He carefully shook the container once more, ears pressed against the cool surface as he tried his best to identify the treasures. Finally, an idea struck him, evident in the way his faux ears and tail shot upwards. "Aha! Spring rolls! It's spring rolls, isn't it?" His face looked like one who won the lottery and Ladybug couldn't help but coo internally. He was such a dork. "That's right, Chaton. Now, if you guess the correct fillings, I'll let you have some." Ladybug added nonchalantly, eating up the way Chat spluttered and the frazzled gestures he made, eyes begging to let him have the treats already. "Oh come on! You're not that cruel, Bug." He pouted but didn't attempt to snatch away the container. He directed his beady glare at his Lady, arms folded. "...La-aaaaady-bu-uuuuug..." He whined. "Just kidding~ Here, Bon appétit ," Ladybug didn't waste time, tearing off the lid and beckoning Chat to take some of the spring rolls. The boy's eyes widened at the sight of the delicious looking treats. The pastry was golden and crisp, the size of each roll were consistent and big enough to finish in three bites and the enticing, spicy scent made the feline salivate. And, they were still piping hot. Hell yeah, Bon appétit indeed! Without hesitation, Chat took a bite, unaware of Ladybug's anticipating look. . "Holy shit...I'm in heaven..." The teen blurted out, eyeing his spring roll with a tearful look, as if it was too beautiful for him to eat. He shoved the whole pastry in his mouth, moaning in delight without a shame whilst his Lady's tinkling giggles was like music to his ears. What a way to spend the last evening of summer before school. A beautiful summer night, a beautiful lady and amazing food! 'Yes, this cat is content for life,' He purred to himself, smiling at his partner as she offered him another roll. "Thank dieu you enjoyed it. I wasn't too sure if you were going to be keen on the secret ingredient I mixed in with the vegetables." Ladybug twirled her roll, cheeks ever so slightly flushed with happiness. "Is it that exotic spicy scent that I've been smelling this whole time?" "Yes. Maman's friend who's from the south-east gave her these homegrown naga-chillies. They're really, really hot on their own but without the seeds, they're bearable to me and make the vegetable filling taste so good." She bit into her roll as if to emphasise her point. She was blind to the way Chat Noir watched her with a pleasant, fulfilled smile. The warmth that pulsed in his stomach provoked his heart to skip a few beats or so- a standard reaction that the love of his life always gave him. 'I wish you would be mine forever...' His unsaid words were left floating in the back of his head as he nibbled on his food. The duo spent the rest of the night laughing, joking, exchanging bizarre stories without giving away their civilian lives and before they knew it, it was midnight. "Uh-oh...I'm turning into a pumpkin! Save me!" Chat Noir wailed dramatically, curling up into a ball and leaning against Ladybug. Her hearty laughter grew in volume, the girl clutching her stomach as she gasped for a breath only for Chat to join her with his contagious laugh. Soon, they calmed down. With the calm came the thoughts. The crescent of the moon shone like a beacon. The temperature of the summer air started to cool and the beautiful city lights below shone like diamonds. The two were hesitant to leave, wanting to prolong their last summer night. The older of two wanted to spend as much time as he wanted with the girl he loved. The younger on the other hand? She wanted to keep him happy and close. After all, She would rather die than fail her partner again and let him be akumatised. Little did she know how potent her sadness was. The atmosphere turned tense in a flip of a switch, sending shivers down Chat's spine and he was quick to glance at his now, forlorn looking Lady. As if they didn't just have a laughing fit and a mini picnic. It was that damn empty, distant looking face again. The boy under the mask absolutely despised it. He would do anything to get rid of it. "You know I'm always here for you, Bug." He placed his hands on her forearms, beckoning her to look at him. Ladybug refused to meet eye contact so he tilted her chin up with a finger, delivering a soft, sad grimace. "It's been months now and yet you wouldn't tell me what happened. Did you think acting more sweet around me would distract me from your tears?" The girl hadn't noticed her eyes were watering till her Chaton pointed it out and wiped away a stray tear. She knew he was much more smarter and perceptive than most would give him credit for yet she couldn't help but pray that he would leave her be. 'He's always been too good for you. You know it. I know it. So why don't you just hurry up and throw the earrings away so that someone else who's actually worthy of utilising the power can properly look after him?' "I told you, nothing happened. Just silly, civilian stuff." Ladybug tried to shrug him off, quickly wiping her eyes and trying her best to not sniffle. "Let's just go home-" "When will you stop lying to me?" The boy hissed out, tail lashing against the beams in anger and feline ears pressed against his dishevelled locks. His acidic green eyes pierced through Ladybug's being. A deadly scowl that would surely cause the blood in Le Papillon's body to freeze and petrify him. Ladybug tried her best to not show how he surprised her, keeping a poker face and swallowed quietly. However, with the way his hands were clasped around her wrists, she feared he could feel her rapid pulse. Why was it always her that caused his rare anger to rise on an occasion or two? It was simply not fair. How righteous his anger was towards her. A sudden gust of wind swept through their hair, ending the summer season and introduced the newly born autumn with a howl. It felt like ice seeping through their suits. Yet, the polka dotted heroine didn't dare move a muscle, observing her partner with a cool, neutral expression. Chat Noir hated it. He absolutely hated it. It was one of the few faces she made when she was forced to keep a secret away from him even if it took a toll on her body and mind. He felt disgustingly useless. "I'm fine, Chat Noir." Ladybug wiggled her hands to free them of his grip, bringing them to her chest as she glanced towards the city below. "Can we please not do this tonight? Please? I want it to end on a good note." Her wish was met with a defeated sigh from her partner, not flinching for even a split second when his tail whipped against a stray beam. An echo of his anger prior. Just as it was quick to come, it was quick to leave, thankfully. "I'm not give up on you," His resolute tone induced a quiet gasp from Ladybug, the girl herself cut her gaze towards him with parted lips. "But for tonight, I'll let you be." He didn't smile but...he didn't frown either. Reaching for her hands one last time, Chat Noir brought them to his lips. His bold, fiery greens never left her soft, steady blues whilst his lips brushed against her knuckles in a traditional kiss. Taking advantage of her lack of hesitation, he kissed the backs of her hands too and then brought them to his chest so that she could feel his fierce, beating heart. It began to lash against his chest when a light rouge tinted her cheeks. "I'm always here for you, always. No matter what, you can count on me to protect you." Then, with a determined nod, he launched forward and pecked her head before letting go of her swiftly and vaulting away with an impeccable speed. Ladybug remained frozen in her position, cheeks flaming until his figure became smaller and smaller in the distance. By the time she could no longer see him, she sunk to her knees, grasping her chest as her throbbing heart felt like it was going to burst out and explode. Millions of emotions ran through her body, fighting against each other as the memory of him kissing her head replayed over and over again. Like the sweetest of poison. Addicting but deadly. Despite the warm, fluttering butterflies, despite the smooth, softness of his lips, despite the comforting, protective touch of his, Ladybug couldn't help but have the memories of the other timeline flare in her mind like a warning sign. An unwanted threat that has never failed to wreck her mind. Biting her lips, she tried to keep her tears at bay, body shaking and pushing against the sobs that threatened to spill out. She was so tempted to run back to him and tell him everything. To care for him like the way he deserves. To love him like the way he needs. Yet the haunting, crazed ice blue eyes of the past invaded the temporary soaring feelings like a virus, eating away all the positivism and hope she tried her upmost best to maintain. 'You have no right to be happy...' An ugly gloom hooded her eyes, killing all her emotions as she staggered back up to her feet, using a beam nearby for support. The harsh wind clawed through her hair, ridding her trademark ponytails of their ribbons and blowing them away to the other side of Paris. Ladybug simply didn't have the energy to get them back, using muscle memory to swing herself back home. Her ribbons long forgotten. It was a cold, bleak September now. ~(x)~ It was quiet. Too quiet. Standing up from her crouch after detransforming on her balcony, Marinette immediately spun around and glared at her surroundings whilst Tikki hovered close. Not a single sound was heard. Not even the wind. Suddenly, Marinette's heart began to pick up pace as beads of sweat started to form on her forehead. The only thing she could hear was her heartbeat as she felt something weird. Her entire neighbourhood was asleep, evident in the lights out and the pitch black environment. The only source of light in her vision were the few lamp posts on the streets as well as around the park. Yet, she couldn't ignore the feeling of being watched. Not wanting to show fear at a possible stalker, Marinette took large strides till she was at the edge of her balcony, clutching the railings and scanned the scene with more scrutiny. One of the lamp posts merely flickered as moths buzzed around it. The trees simply swayed along with the inaudible breeze. The streets and roads remained empty. Not a single soul out. Marinette exhaled softly, eyes never stopping its study of her surroundings. She took a step back, tension leaving her body bit by bit, leaving an aching throb in her chest. The adrenaline that fuelled her veins vaporised. "I don't think there's anyone around, Marinette." Tikki whispered, clutching the girl's loose strands as she also watched for anything suspicious. "Can we go back inside? I'm cold." "...okay." Marinette glared at the scene from her peripheral vision once more, almost swearing that she saw movement under one of the lamps only to brush it off as paranoia and made her way back to the trapdoor. Since she wasn't paying attention, the teen bumped into her table, almost tripping over her feet but thankfully caught herself. "Eek! Are you okay?" The little Goddess freaked out, flying in front of her charge and scanning her from head to toe for any injuries. She was waved off with a tired smile. "Don't worry, it's probably just a little...bruise...?" A slither of red caught Marinette's attention from the corner of her eye only for her to gawk. There, on the railing of her balcony was... ...One of her ribbons. Inhaling sharply and leaping towards the railings, clutching her treasured ribbon, Marinette spied around the neighbourhood desperately like a hawk. Tikki's presence on her shoulders did nothing to alleviate her stress as sweat from palpitation grew on her palms. Her mouth on the other hand ran dry and she refused to blink. She didn't dare to tremble. She was Ladybug. Nothing should scare her. ...with her partner's possible akumatisation aside that is. Regardless, Marinette fixated her stare at the specific lamp post. The area where she brushed off momentarily. The light flickered back and forth whilst moths carried on fluttering around it without a care in the world. She watched. And watched. And watched. . Still nothing. Without looking away, knuckles white from her grip on the ribbon and her free hand cradling her beloved kwami, Marinette walked backwards, gingerly going down her trapdoor and quickly closed it till it was locked shut. . The silence haunted her all night. ~(x)~ "Ma-ri-nette!!!" Instantly, said girl was glomped by her best friend in a hug that would surely asphyxiate a commoner. Thankfully, Marinette was not only Ladybug in disguise but also trained vigorously in many of the martial arts by her dear maman. "Alya! I missed you! How was Morocco with Nino and his family?" Marinette leaned against Alya as the taller of the teens hooked their elbows together, leading them inside the school. "Girllllll I have so many scoops to share, so many deets-" "The million texts and selfies you sent me daily weren't just it?" "They barely scratched the surface! But anyways, it was amazing! I couldn't believe my parents were willing to let me go even when Nora threw a fit haha! I got to relax so much, spent quality time with Nino and his extended family, took so many pictures and tried so many different food. Ah~ Best. Summer. Ever." "Oh the food...I can't believe you shamelessly ate all of that without sharing it with me," The raven-haired girl teased, pushing her hip against Alya's who pushed back without a beat. "You wouldn't be moping if you came along, Mari. Remember the tagine you tried at the local restaurant nearby and you thought that was divine? Lemme tell you, it is nothing compared to the authentic, fresh tagine made by Nino's tante. One taste and I was in heaven. Absolute heaven." "Alya you're making me jealous, I get it, I get it." Marinette playfully scoffed but then her energy soon wore off and fatigue took over her body. Alya was quick to catch the tired girl as soon as she began to sway, perfect brows sculpted in worry as she eyed her best friend. "Marinette...girl...you do not look okay. I'm telling you this 'cos I love you. Go back home and sleep." The brunette brushed Marinette's fringe gently, noting the tired, dark rings under her eyes and the unhealthy paleness of her skin. It was as if Marinette avoided the sun all her life. "I don't wanna..." The stubborn girl whined but didn't fight back when Alya led her to a nearby bench, sitting them both down. "I've been missing you all too much and couldn't wait to see you all again," She admitted, earning a coo from the curvy girl and another hug. Alya's sun-kissed honey skin was a stark contrast against Marinette's pale, porcelain skin. "Alright then but I'll be keeping an eye on you, girl. I can see the effort you put into your cute bun and soft make up. How you do your eyeliner freehand without a guide will always baffle me~" Just as Marinette was about to retort back, the duo were engulfed by a surprise hug from the back. Neither fought back as the familiar laughter and soft, masculine brown arms were registered. "Babe! And dudette! My best girls!" Nino popped his head forward, in between the girls and squished their cheeks against his. "Heyyyy~" He waggled his eyebrows stupidly, his shit eating grin widening when his girlfriend burst out laughing and Marinette following with a quiet giggle. "Nino, g'morning," Alya quickly pecked his lips. To further his dramatics, Nino pretended to swoon and flopped backwards between the girls with a dopey smile. "Finally, a good lundi morning," Nino sighed with exaggeration, his girl still trying her best to stifle her laughter whilst Marinette fondly rolled her eyes at him. "I can now brave through these useless lessons and deal with M. D'Argencourt's bullshit rambles during registration. Oh how amazing the power of lo-oooove truly is!" "Oh yeah, I almost forgot that we won't have Mme. Bustier this year. Was about to say that I was gonna miss her but not gonna lie, she lost all my respect when you got expelled." Alya huffed, pulling Marinette against her like a worried mother hen. "To think that I almost had to spend my last year here without my precious Marinette~" "But Babe! What about me?" "You wish you were as precious as sweetcheeks over here." Alya blew a raspberry at her boyfriend, cheeky grin widening at his dramatics. Marinette on the other hand simply smiled, savouring every moment. The fact that there was a possibility that she would have had to attend a different collège for her final year without her friends made her quiver and she didn't falter in snuggling closer to her best friend. She's been through so much this year. Surely she deserved some sort of happiness. Even if she failed her partner at one point... Right? 'No. You do not deserve anything but pain and suffering you selfish, self-righteous brat. Because of you, how long did your beloved partner go through that hell? How many nights did he spend wide awake after destroying the world? Face it, you don't deserve him or your friends or any sort of love-' The dark, twisted, ugly thoughts and whispers that preyed upon her mind was quick to diminish at the sound of pure sunshine. "You guys! Hey!" Marinette didn't get a chance to look up fully as she and the rest of the small group was tackled by their loving blonde friend in a comfy, sweet hug. Her heart malfunctioned on the spot as all she could smell was the fresh, crisp autumn air that lingered in his soft hair and coat. Her mind rebooted over and over again at the feel of his strong, sturdy arm wrapped around her. Her lips quaked at the feel of his brushing against her cheek despite the gleeful smile he wore. "A-A-Adrien?" The model pulled back slightly to face the stammering girl, lips quirking into a silly but sweet smile. Not thinking twice, he pressed his forehead against Marinette's tenderly, their fringes intermingling with each other and their cool breaths hitting each other's lips. Adrien's eyes sparkled like emeralds and the aspiring designer couldn't help but be mesmerised. "Missed me~?" His nose was touching hers now and his pearly whites gleamed mischievously. Poor Marinette couldn't help but blink, blush already blooming in her cheeks. Dammit. They may have gotten much, much closer yet there were still times that the boy rendered her speechless! What's with the green eyed blonde boys in her life and making her heart a complete wreck?! "B-Bro...can't breathe...I don't wanna die!" Nino's muffled pleas shattered the moment and Adrien immediately broke the hug, snickering at the way Nino gasped for air and clutched a deadpanned Alya. Though, he took a seat besides Marinette and kept an arm around her waist, leaning against her as they watched the couple bicker and banter. "Enjoyed your holidays, Adrien?" Marinette began, playing with the fraying threads of her purse and peeked at him below her lashes. Adrien hummed, sitting up and then directed his gorgeous greens at her. 'Be still, my heart.' Marinette couldn't help but beg. "It was alright. Didn't leave Paris though and had too many photo-shoots. What about you? Didn't you get to go to Shanghai for a week?" Adrien's question almost went unheard as Mari couldn't help but be hyper-aware of the warmth of his hand on her waist. The way his finger casually tapped against it. The innocent smile he had on his lips. This boy was going to be the death of her. 'But you don't deserve him. You don't deserve either of them. Be lucky that they even acknowledge your filthy existence.' The eerie whispers clawed through her brain, her body begging to run away and cry. Yet, she forced her fingers to move away from her purse and pull on the seams of her navy pea-coat, smile never faltering. "Yes, I did. I really enjoyed it there. I wish I got to stay for lo-longer..." She trailed off, swallowing down any babbles or word soup as Adrien squeezed her waist as a gesture of comfort. He was being really sweet today... "I don't blame ya- all the pictures you posted online looked so cool. The skyline at night, the food, heck even your relatives! If I hadn't known better, I'd have thought that cousin of yours was your brother." "You wouldn't be the first to mistaken us as siblings," She giggled. "When we were younger and they came over to Paris to visit, some people used get mixed up between me and him. It didn't help that I had my hair really short at the time and wore nothing but blue and red." "That would have been really cute to see. Hmm, it also makes sense with how easily you accepted that Félix and I were just cousins instead of that weird conspiracy theory that Kim concocted up." "Oh I wouldn't say I accepted it too easily. You and your cousin are like mirrors of each other. It's insane! I thought for a minute that you had an evil twin." Marinette winked merrily, her giggles simply grew while Adrien rolled his eyes at her. "Come on. Not you too." His fake pout didn't last long and he quietly chortled alongside her. Just a smile from his Princesse was enough to brighten up his day despite the small fight he had with Ladybug eight hours prior. Yes, Ladybug was the love of his life. Yes, he would go to the moon and back for her. However, he would be an absolute idiot and horrifically obtuse to deny that his feelings for Marinette weren't as strong. With rare wisdom from his lazy kwami, Adrien learned that having feelings for more than one person was not only natural but also healthy in a way. It showed that he wasn't forever stuck on one person and it eased the pain of his Lady's rejection to his advances. Ladybug and Marinette were his best friends first and foremost and he wouldn't dare to sabotage his precious friendships. It didn't mean he couldn't wish for Ladybug to fall for him one day. Same for Marinette. He's still a silly teen; he could keep dreaming and fantasising! Till then, he was going to go with the flow and see what the future entailed. As far as he was concerned, his future was leaning more towards Marinette and frankly, he did not mind one bit. Abruptly, the morning bell rang, indicating that it was time for the students to head to class for registration. Grunts and groans were heard from the swarm of students in the courtyard, Kim's distinct "It's time for hell, bitches!" being one of the more prominent voices in the crowd along with Alix's curses. "Thank fuck Mari-bee was the class president last year and made sure that we got our class to be the same for this year. I'd have eaten my own hands if I had to deal with that one annoying kid obsessed with magic again." Nino shot a friendly punch against Marinette's shoulder and then wrapped an arm around Alya's waist as she led them to their new classroom. "Did he just indirectly mention that he'd rather have Chloé and Lila over Jean as his classmate?" Marinette huffed with endearment, taking the hand that Adrien offered to help her up. The sudden rush to her head caused her to wobble on the spot. Luckily, Adrien steadied her without a word, hands clasping her forearms. "S-Sorry..." She attempted to step away but the boy's grip on her tightened, halting her. Marinette glanced back at Adrien with confusion, cocking her head to the side slightly and lips pursed. "...you're not feeling well, aren't you?" A nail in the coffin. Adrien scanned her body from head to foot, frown growing deeper. "You can barely stand." "I'm fine. I just...couldn't get any sleep. I was nervous for the first day of school and also didn't want to oversleep." Marinette answered quickly, looking away from him. She didn't expect his finger to hook under her chin, forcing eye contact. For the first time, Adrien glared at her. Glared. He leaned in closer, bending down so that he could reach her height. "Are you lying?" Neither of them budged. The mutterings and chatter from the students that were around grew fainter and fainter until all that was heard was the classroom doors slamming shut and the echos of the teachers doing the register. Marinette wanted to quickly deny the allegation. She wanted to push him aside and run to class. She wanted to forget how she momentarily confused Adrien with her partner. Though, even the Ladybug could run out of luck. "Adrien," She began. "We're going to be late." Her stoic, cool expression showed that she wasn't going to budge, pissing off her friend completely. The model tsked with irritation, quick to grab her hand whilst using his other one to adjust the strap of his bag over his shoulder. He moodily led her to their class, refusing to utter another word. For a split second, the defiance and stubbornness in Marinette's eyes were a hundred percent identical to Ladybug's. He almost blurted out his treasured nickname for her. The annoyance of said stubbornness and refusal to accept his help grew stronger instead, causing him to try and forget about it and brood later on. What's with his treasured girls and their stupid reluctance to let him help!? . He wasn't aware of the horror that was plastered on Marinette's face. The girl refused to tear her eyes away from the main door behind them as a lone, torn up, dirty ribbon flayed in the entrance. A familiar ribbon that was most definitely not there ten seconds ago. When M. Haprèle closed the door, Marinette could have sworn... ...that there was a pair of blue eyes watching her right back. . . . ~(x)~ A/N: That's the end of chapter one! It's more like a prologue ish, slow chapter since we're building up- so bear with me, aight? I hope you enjoyed reading it regardless. I stayed up till 5am to write it after all :0 If this chapter gets at least ten comments, I will update! Till then, see you next time~

[sanchoyo]

Looks like you’re gonna have to gush some more cuz I meant in general uwu🌸

🌺😌🤟 Always happy to! Okay here’s just some General bnha Thoughts ™ Mostly Lov centric. You asked for them, and you said GUSH about them, so here’s. A Lot! :)

This isn’t a lov one but it’s really funny so I thought I’d put it out there:

-when bnha was first gaining traction on tumblr, it was all art of Tsuyu. I have no idea why. People were talking about the funky frog lesbian superhero anime. Maybe it was just the people I was following, maybe it was a general trend, but I LOVED her design!!! my fav color and frogs r super cute!!! And I already loved superhero media, so I was like. I’ll watch it. For Her. SO. FROPPY IS THE REASON I WATCHED/READ BNHA. I went in thinking she was the protag and I was sooo confused when Izuku was... tbh I still think it’d be more interesting if she was lmaooo aus where? ...seriously if anyone has good aus where this is the case send them LOL

-I don’t actually feel that bad abt what Shigaraki’s doing. I still feel bad for him. I’m this post. yes im an apologist. its not my fault hes sexy and has been running around shirtless. hes a lesbian icon like thor is. I want to touch his hair. hes never done anything wrong in his life. he could kill all might, deku, bakugo, whatever, I’d still be sayin this. I don’t feel bad for gt. like. was anyone genuinely attached to him? lmao

-well u know how spinner’s quirk is just sticking to things? We haven’t seen him use it in canon except like, (1) time iirc?? I think this is probably bc he’s embarrassed about it even in front of the league... I loooove the idea that he gets more comfortable with it around them :”) and also how shigaraki. um. does that falling asleep thing while standing up with his eyes open, canonly? (which I still love lmfao) Imagine someone in the league walking in a dark room, turning on the light n just seeing. Spinner upside down, stuck to the ceiling asleep bc heat rises and its Warmer Up There. (cold blooded thing like tsuyu?? come ON give him a big fuzzy coat and scarf...) and Shigaraki in the center of the room, slouched but still standing, eyes open and motionless. Theyre both sleeping. Whomever sees it just...slowly walks out. LMAO

-Toga roller derby au. No deep thoughts I just think she’d be good at it. 

-Toga 100% is a social butterfly and could befriend anyone if they didn’t just judge the fact she was trying to stab them smh :/ (ok but seriously anytime I see cute friendships with her n the other kids im like :) aw. I feel like her and Camie...would be good friends. Camie feels chill enough to be like ‘ok whatever thats totally fine I forgive you!!’ LMAO we love airheads here)

-HOW DID TOGA GET SO GOOD AT FIGHTING? We know she’s been on the run since middle school or so, but good enough to pin Deku down after he’s been formally trained at a ~hero school~ for a while? (she pinned him TWICE I think, once when his arms were messed up, but, the other time as Camie, so? AND THEN WAS ONE OF THE 100 PEOPLE TO GO THRU TO THE 2ND ROUND OF THAT? even tho she didn’t bc she had to leave) good enough to beat Aizawa in a fight and stab him? A professional hero and teacher for YEARS? Is that seriously just street training??? Can people acknowledge how amazing her combat skills and reflexes are??? More Toga appreciation when?? Also her backstory??? SO subversive and incredible, hate when people reduce her to just a ~typical anime yandere~ :/

-Tomura doing stuff with his hands/fingers to train his quirk!!! And to learn to be careful with it!! obv I’m a Big Fan of him playing piano to do this and video games are prob the canon answer, but like, guitar or any stringed instrument that requires Hands would work too. Or knitting/sewing? EMBROIDERING? ??? Please, let me give you the mental image of him knitting aggressively while mentally scheming, watching a twitch streamer or smth too while doing it. (Doing stuff with your hands is a great way to let your mind come up with creative stuff, that’s how I come up with writing/drawing ideas 70% of the time)

-Tomura actually PREFERS cutesty, relaxing games. I mean, he does fighting and bloody stuff irl, games are a way to relax...he’ll play shooters and gta type games with The Lads, but. on his own?? animal crossing. pokemon. kirby games. mario. zelda. BIG ZELDA FAN (not saying this bc I, personally, am biased, but,) slime rancher, stardew valley, funny simulator games... he really enjoys those :”) God forbid he has a kid bc they’re 100% getting named after a viddy game character unless someone can talk him out of it LOL. Toga and Tomura are that animal crossing /doom meme where she’d be asking for doom and him asking for animal crossing :”)

-Bits and pieces of Before are kinda stuck in Kurogiri’s brain, but like. mostly useless stuff the doctor didn’t care about removing. Like, types of clouds. So Tomura kinda picks up on stuff like that. He can just look at clouds and tell you what type they are because Kurogiri used to take him up to high places in the city and point them out to calm Tomura down from a panic attack when he was younger. He can tell you if the sky looks like it’ll rain with a 80% accuracy rate too. 

-Kurogiri left food out for kitties in the alley beside the bar. They weren’t allowed in for Health Reasons (it IS a bar with sanitation standards!!) And Tomura really wouldn’t stop it or encourage it either way so long as Kurogiri did his job, but occasionally would stand outside with Kurogiri and just watch the kitties from a distance. If any approached he’d go back in (lowkey afraid he’d hurt them by touching them :( ) They kinda kept that between them tho, bc they both Know AFO is a big bag of dicks and no fun

-people have pointed out how similar aizawa and tomura look. this was 100% the intention. tomura has a hatecrush on him. THIS IS SO FUNNY AND HORRIBLY AWKWARD FOR KUROGIRI LMAO

-Sako??? Mr. Dramatic?? Opera fan. Drama kid. Like, obviously, but. Really. He is. I feel like he can speak a dozen languages. I also feel like he used to be an overachiever but got too ambitious. He was def some kind of leader at one point of a diff Group or something that fell apart. I LOVE how creative he is with his quirk and the magician theme??? incredible. I don’t show him enough love but I Love Clowns :o)

-I don’t care what their canon heights are. Spinner and Dabi? short kings. My height hcs are (tallest to shortest) Kurogiri, Twice, Sako (who also has heels on his boots and a tall hat, keep in mind), Tomura, Magne (Tomura and Magne are about the same height imo) Toga, Spinner, Dabi. LISTEN. Dabi has short energy. Sorry. it’s true tho

-This is a semi-popular hc I think bc I KNOW I’ve seen it before, but Dabi having Terrible Vision and needing glasses is so so good. (seriously, with burns THAT close to his eyeballs, how could he not?) 

-he tries to be a tough loner coolguy. you’d think he’d smoke, but I hc his ‘weak constitution’ comes with weak lungs (esp from years of a flame quirk?? inhaling smoke over so much time is SO bad for you, most people who die in fires actually die of smoke inhalation...) so he’s got like, an inhaler, can’t smoke, actually gets carsick, needs glasses, overuses quirk to save friends constantly, likes napping, a little awkward and rude. Tomura put him in charge of the vanguard so he’s smart, and good with strategies too, like a nerd. this is the Dabi I wanna see, not the popular fandom version of him tbh also step on hawks one more time sir :”)

-I wish all the lov fics weren’t?? villain!deku like I said earlier, but also, chatfics? I have nothing against them but most of them are just a bombardment of Memes with NO PLOT!!! Listen. text/chatfics CAN have plot and be an interesting way to tell a story. I almost want to write one just to show what I mean...

I know I’ve said I like spinaraki and blackmagic, but I am a multishipper, so a few ships I don’t talk about that I like that involve the lov in some way:

-toga/any of the 1A girls??? or Camie??? super interesting. ALSO in the radio drama, bakugo’s voice actor said Toga was his favorite girl??? so?? bakugo/toga ?? I WANT TO SEE IT. but specifically my fav dynamic with her is when someone ELSE is the one to like her first, it’s what she deserves.

-Kurogiri/aizawa/mic?? any variety of that is also 👌🏻 I also kinda wanna see kurogiri/all might bc. Dads. COME ON. they bond over ‘well, I raised him, and you want to have a part in his life now?? ok. earn it. prove it. I’ll screen you first’ or something LMAO they’re both genuinely concerned for the boy, and SOOO biased. let them bond.

-WAIT WHERE IS THE MIC/COMPRESS CONTENT. THEYRE BOTH DRAMATIC. ENEMIES TO LOVERS?? HELLO??? SOMEONE?? ANYONE. rarepair hours

-giran/twice is cute. like he was hyping him up so much and so ready to go save him...

-dabi/magne where is the content. when. why not everywhere??? I’ve also seen magne/compress which was cute!! or twice/magne? they’re the big sibs of the lov...

-dabi/spinner?? come ON dabi could get over his learned biases and spend time with him and they could hold hands. I want them to.

-dabihawks. Obviously bc the Drama. yes even still, don’t @ me. (also, shigahawks, seen some REAL interesting fics with it tbh) or spinahawks?? adding hawks to a ship is like adding extra chili powder. makes it SPICY dramatic)

-nine/tomura don’t @ me once again. both kinda afo’s playthings, nine obviously was the test for tomura’s new upgrades...they both love their friends...That Scene in the Flower field </3 hmmm tragicships are fun.

-tomura/mirko. more enemies to lovers. big fan of her and bunnies. remember when he wore bunny ears in bnha smash. (ok its crack but. CUTE.) 

-I’ve also seen shiganatsu and shigafuyu and I’m like. these are cute, but also Dabi’s reaction always makes me cry laugh. so good.

-MOST EVERYONE IN THE LOV IS LGBTQA+!!! heres my personal headcanons:

Toga: pan or bi (CANON BASICALLY)

Magne: transwoman (CANON BABEY) bi, leans towards men. (her crush on dabi in bnha smash... uwu content where)

Shuichi: gets sooooo flustered canonly, I think he’d go for the first person Who Hit On Him (I can see him being the target of those mean pranks where someone says ‘my friend likes you!!’ and the friend is like ‘eww!!’ :(((( ) he’s super hesitant for romance, lots of repressed stuff. gay but takes sooo long to realize it bc he thinks most women are conventionally pretty Aesthethically, feels obligated to Like Them, but has bad self esteem so never goes after them, then only likes (1) guy so hes like?? is this allowed?? is this allowed???? (HES LIKE. IN LOVE WITH SHIGARAKI)

Dabi: bi but rly hasn’t ever gotten to date anyone, so he’s actually more reserved about it and while he’ll tease, he absolutely is absent and kinda oblivious (again, I KNOWWWW bnha smash isnt canon, but. my god. when magne is hitting on him and he Just Doesnt Understand.) also hes ace

Tomura: doesn’t care. (just prob says ‘its whatever’) trans/nonbinary (i’M NOT PROJECTING, BUT. :’/) probably goes with like, the label queer if any but doesn’t care much for labels

Kurogiri: bi??? kind of??? I say kind of bc well, I hc U Know Whom as bi, I feel like thatd carry over but he’d be really avoidant to date anyone bc hes gotta Watch His Kid u know? this is gonna sound surprising but I think he’d be the type to be like ‘ok we can have a one night stand/fling BUT it cant get personal bc I have a Job to Do for my Son so don’t get up in your feelings’ and act a little coldly at first or very ..not personable... depending on who it was he’d prob turn around eventually, esp if that person valued his feelings/job :”)

Sako: that mans Not Straight. I hc him as gay and also trans :3c

Twice: Bi and HAS dated prob more than anyone else in the league imo, super comfortable with his sexuality and supportive of everyone else’s :)

ok that’s about all I can think of atm, come back in 5 minutes and my brain will refill with lov headcanons :3 thank you for asking!!

[kosmosguk]

Deceptively Angelic (Yandere! Angel Taehyung x Reader) [M]

Description: There’s something darker about the strange man that you’ve wondered upon and let into your home. But you’re convinced he’s an angel, a celestial being from heaven, and everyone knows angels can’t sin.

Writing: Smut Fic

Word Count: 2.5K

[Warning: Yandere Themes. Smut. Read at your own disclosure. Literally an excuse for me to throw in that good good stuff tbh. Also,, this is my first time writing smut oop] 

Taehyung was the epitome of perfection.

He was gorgeous, beautiful in even the simplest of garments, and each of his features, from the soft slope of his nose to the plush rosiness of his lips, was certainly carved by heaven Itself.

He had told you that he was an angel, sent down here to fight off the demon that had been planning on harassing your village, and he was so ethereal that he must’ve been right. Angels can’t lie after all.

He was ethereal, even when you found him on the damp muddy forest floor, limp and bruised in the bloodiest manner. He had looked at you, a mere village girl clutching onto a woven basked filled with flowers, with those deep pools of rich honey filled with so much pain. Who were you to ever refuse the pain of an angel? You carelessly took him in right then are, resolutely deciding that you would heal him. 

After all, he was a man--no an angel for goodness sake--who was so beautiful and kind-looking; what was he going to do to or with a simple, plain orphan who made a profit over selling flower bouquets. 

The answer was nothing. Or at least, it should’ve been nothing.

And it was nothing for a long time. You spent your free time tending his wounds in the cramped hut you called a home, and he, in return, kept your home clean and cooked lavishly warm, steaming dishes, ones you’d never even had the privilege of experiencing, with a flick of his long, elegantly-formed fingers. It was a peaceful relationship, a mutual one of respect and quiet compassion for the other’s presence.

You were grateful for his presence, even a little grateful for the damned demonic being that hurt him. You were so lonely, with no family tending after you, and he was warm and kind.

So it should’ve been nothing. And then it became something.

You had been plucking flowers, delicate blooms of peachy pinks and sky blues, for a bouquet you had been wanting to gift Taehyung. Tucking in the soft, delicate petals of a pure white rose, ones that must’ve been the exact shade of his wings, you hummed to yourself in delight. Taehyung would love these.

You heard footsteps crumbling leaves and scuffling stones from behind you as you straightened your back, spinning around dramatically to unhand the suspect.

‘‘Kim Seokjin?!’‘

You exhaled the words out sharply in a gust of disbelief, your eyes blown wide at the presence of the tall broad-shouldered gem of your tiny village.

Kim Seokjin was much too handsome to be the son of an artisan, with his looks straight from the prince in a fairy tale book and his pretty heart-shaped lips, and he was also much too handsome to be talking to you.

He was one of the wealthiest, and he had everything together, not like you who was surviving with each coin you could get.

His cheeks flushed a cute cherry red, his ears blazing the same shade, and averted his eyes almost shyly for a second before returning your gaze with a steady, determined look.

‘‘(Y/N), I’ve always noticed you,’‘ he started slow, his voice almost cracking from his nerves,’‘ Your smile leaves me breathless, and you’re as kind as you are beautiful. And I want to ask you for your hand in marriage.’‘

Your smile froze on your face, paralyzed from the rush of surprise that overcame you. 

What? What did he just say?

He let out a nervous laugh, something so unlike the most confident man in the village, before turning around and rushing away.

‘‘Please let me know your answer! I’ll be meeting your here tomorrow, same time!’‘ he called out from behind his shoulder, scurrying away like a boy caught sneaking away a pastry. You couldn’t move, feeling the rush of heat overpowering your cheeks, and you let out a shaky wispy exhale. 

You liked Seokjin--he was kind and always bought bouquets from you--and if you married him life would be much easier. You’d get to wear dresses and not have to worry about the next meal ever again.

Also, he was handsome, almost as handsome as the angel you had presiding in your home.

If the actual angel you had at home noticed the high of elation you were on, he didn’t comment it. You had placed the bouquet in his arms, a beaming smile instead of the usual bashful curve of your lips, and even gave him a soft pat on the top of his head. You softly sang under your breath as you took down the laundry, grinning foolishly as you folded the clothes. 

It wasn’t until you both had sat down at the small rickety table, dishes filled with still simmering hot spicy stew and steaming bowls of rice between the both of you, that he had said something.

Blowing on a spoon of rice, he pursed his lips and glanced up at you from underneath thick, long lashes,’’ Your mood...It seems better today.’’

Your grin grew even more and you exhaled a wistful dreamy sigh,’’ Taehyung, you know how a few days ago you were worried about how I was going to do after you had to go back to your heavenly duties?’’

Taehyung stayed silent, his eyes steady on you, his knuckles turning white as he clenched the spoon tightly. 

You ignored his silence, leaning forward slightly and almost knocking over your bowl of rice with your elbow,’’ Kim Seokjin, the son of the local artisans, asked for my hand in marriage! I was picking flowers nearby and he came up to ask me. Me, especially with all the better girls in the village! I’m going to say yes tomorrow night.’’

Snap!

The metal spoon broke in two pieces, the fragments clanging onto the table loudly.

‘‘Are you okay?’‘ you gasped, leaning forward to grasp at his hand.

He smiled, though something about it seemed off, sinister. You were too happy to focus on the what ifs of it, glued to your thoughts. After all, he was an angel; he couldn’t be sinister.

You spent the night and the next day, right up until the very second, stuck in your blissful state of mind. The sun seemed brighter, the birds’ song more beautiful than ever, and even the dirt that caked your fingers seemed enchanting. 

You were so happy that something could’ve gone completely horrible and you would beam. And then something did go completely horrible, and it was almost ironic that you thought that before because your smile, eventually, did fade. 

It had been two hours since you were supposed to meet with Seokjin. The warmth of the day faded into a chill, the sky darkening as you huddled by the meeting spot, trying to protect your body from the harsh wind.

You heard footsteps, feet crunching the crisp leaves, from behind you. 

‘‘Seokjin? Where have y-?’‘ you began to ask, turning around,’’ Taehyung?’’

Taehyung stood there, his hair wispy and messy but still beautiful nonetheless, but there was something different about him. Maybe his eyes, the way they were hooded and dark and oh so scary. Maybe his clothes, the way that the fabric seemed dark even with the dim lighting of the night. But he was still your Taehyung, right?

‘‘I was worried about where you were, so I remembered what you said yesterday and,’‘ his voice was cut off from you flinging yourself into his arms, sobbing into the fabric of his clothes.

‘‘He didn’t even show up. I must look like a fool right now, waiting for him. He was too good for me anyways and I was foolish and thought maybe-,’‘ you were cut off by the firmness but softness of his lips against yours. It was hot, steamy, and your noses brushed against each other as your hands went into his hair.

‘‘Never say that. He’s a fool for thinking he was even worth you,’‘ Taehyung’s voice was breathless as you both panted, gulping in swallows of the night air.

You sunk into his embrace, the only reply being as you kissed him against, this time even sloppier and more heated.

You don’t exactly remember how you got home, but all you could focus on was pulling off Taehyung’s clothes and your own.

‘‘Taehyung, Taehyung, Taeh-,’‘ your cries were cut off with a lengthy high-pitched moan as he pinned you onto your bed, sucking marks into your soft skin as his hand traveled further down, moving your undergarments aside as he sunk a thick finger inside you.

‘‘You’re so fucking hot. I can’t even resist you,’‘ he breathed, his eyes lidded as he pumped his finger in and out, adding another finger and then another, and watched you thrash on the bed, desperate for his touch.

Taehyung was an angel. Angels weren’t supposed to sin. But you didn’t care, not when he was rubbing his fingers against that rough part in your walls and the way his other hand came to circle your swollen clit over and over until you clenched your eyes shut and came, messy and hot, over his fingers with a mewl.

He sucked on his fingers, enjoying the sweet, musky taste of you, and you swallowed heavily at how sinful he looked savoring your essence.

Your cheeks flushed a pretty red, blooming like the red petals of a rose, as he tugged your undergarments and pulled down his, exposing a length that was certainly, though you had never seen one before, the best on earth.

He looked into your eyes, his hands toying with your clit softly as you whimpered at the overstimulation, your voice coming out in beautiful-sounding pleas,’’ Please, Taehyung, fuck me already. God I want your dick so badly mmh-!’’

Your begs were cut off by him sinking into your wet, hot folds.

He reeled over at the sensation, a loud groan puncturing the air,’’ You’re so wet and tight and fuck- You’re going to make me cum so quickly.’’

You pulled him even closer to you as he let you adjust, your walls nervously fluttering around his dick in such a heavenly way that made it even harder to hold back. You nodded, your eyes shy, as you got used to the uncomfortable, albeit a little painful sensation. 

‘’Please, fuck me,’’ your voice was meek, and God did you even know what you were doing to him.

It took him everything to not completely ravage you right then and there. He pulled out until the tip was in you before thrusting back in, testing how much you could handle.

‘‘Faster, faster,’‘ you begged as he continued thrusting. He slammed his length into you faster and faster, going even deeper if that was even possible. His dick kissed your cervix, and the way the burning in your stomach twisted made you tighten around his dick and pull out another heavy groan from his throat. You could only moan, trying to roll your hips up, though it was a bit clumsily, to get him deeper into you.

The coil in your stomach threatened to snap, burning hotter and hotter with each thrust at your womb, and your mewls grew even louder and breathier.

‘‘I’m gonna- I’m gonna cum!’’ you moaned out shakily as you peaked over your release. Your vision was a hot blur, and the fluttering of your hot, wet walls around him was too much to handle. He came with a breathy, deep exhale of your name, biting into the crook of your neck harshly and painting your walls in a burning white. 

 Feathered wings, the color of pitch black and the night sky instead of the pure white you had been expecting, ripped through the flesh of his back, protruding from his skin and hanging over you. Feathers rippled down around you in a drizzle, and his hair, the color of a soft pale blonde, darkened into an ink-black.

‘‘Taehyung,’‘ you breathed out, twitching around him in the midst of your recover,’‘ You’re- You’re a-.’’

‘‘Demon. I’m not the angel you thought I was,’‘ his eyes, the ones that used to be the shade of honeycombs, were red, crimson like a deep shade of blood.

‘‘Were you the demon that,’‘ you sucked in a breath to calm yourself,’‘ that was planning to come for the village?’’ 

He pulled out of you, though there was a slow hesitance and he cradled your form that began to tremble, fear gripping your heart in a cold deadlock.

He smiled--Taehyung’s smiles were always so warm, or at least the Taehyung you had believed in smiled like sunshine and crackling fires on cold days--coldly, menacing.

‘‘I was. The angel that was supposed to kill me put up a good fight. But then you came along and you were so pure and kind when you decided to take me in. No one had ever done that for me. Hell, though you believe it to be hot, is cold for the damned. How was I not going to fall for you, the you who was so sweet and soft and not deserved in this scum-filled world?’‘ his hand came up to stroke your cheek and you flinched.

His eyes darkened, and you didn’t know whether it was at your obvious fear or because of what he was going to say next.

‘‘But then that son of a bitch, Seokjin was it, came along and wanted to take you from me. So I did what I was supposed to as your caretaker, as your lover,’‘ his grip tightened around your cheek, his nails slightly digging into your skin,’‘ I killed him. I left you waiting there for a while to show you that you needed me. Not anyone else. Though, I guess it was a bit of a punishment for you thinking another could love you like I.’‘

He nuzzled into the crook of your neck, and the heat that had been blazing in you chilled at the action. He was a demon; what were you going to do against him? You didn’t even have a chance.

‘‘But all is forgiven. I’ll take you back to my home. It gets so lonely there, even with the constant reminder of the damned around me. You’re my mate, I even marked you so,’‘ he traced a finger on the bite mark in your neck, grinning as you winced in pain,’‘ And now that we’re mated, you’ll be my loving wife, won’t you? The warmth in hell that’s all mine. You don’t even have a choice.’’

He pressed a soft kiss against your cheek, his wings wrapped around you loosely as you began to cry, the numbness of shock fading away. Dark hands bursted through the ground, gripping onto both you and him as they pulled and pulled you both right into hell.

As the darkness faded and the coldness sank in, you realized that maybe, maybe there was a reason that angels could fall down from heaven. That maybe angels could sin.

You just never thought you, a simple peasant girl in a small village, would be at the hands of that realization.

[theboyz-engup]

Pink Skies - Sangyeon Birthday One Shot

I apologize for being so inactive and not writing much but please, take this late late little bit of writing that I poured my soul into for the past few weeks. I’ve been working through terrible writer’s block and this helped me feel a bit free. Changmin’s will be coming soon as well, I promise. For now, enjoy and I’ll see you with the next one ~ Admin Zea

“So,” he started, bold and forward as ever, “are you ready for tonight?”

His hair was over his forehead, making him instantly less dangerous, but the way he stared at you under his fringe was enough to make you think of all the different situations he could be saying that for. You resisted the heat that came to your cheeks and tore your gaze from him, fixing it on the floor. Fingers through the loops on your backpack, you shifted around for a moment and thought about your response.

Deciding on, “no, but I’ll be there anyways,” seemed to make him smile. With a small grin, his strong cheekbones and jaw softened into a settled river and you tried not to get too flustered.

“Awesome,” he crooned, taking a small step back and then more and more as he continued on his way towards his class, all the while facing you, “bring all that calculus homework!”

“I will!” you called back, though it felt hopeless. The only inkling you had that he heard you was his wide grin as he turned and dashed around the corner, having to run across most of the campus for his next class.

“That Lee Sangyeon, huh,” your friend Athina murmured, coming up beside you. She held an orange in one hand, the slice taken from it the other. She lifted the orange just an inch and it was enough for you to grab a piece, sighing.

“Huh would be correct.”

You were the first to your little study room. It was in the basement of a building you were both familiar with and beside a classroom you both were in. The tutorial you were a part of was just next door and you decided there was no better place than somewhere you both recognized. As you dropped your bag and coat onto one of the many swivelling chairs in the room, you remembered the first time you and Yeon sat in them and pretended it was bumper cars. If you blinked, you could see him laughing with his head thrown back and eyes crinkled like paper. It brought a little lift to your lips and forced your fingers up to touch them, feeling ridiculous for finding any little thing he did worthy of a smile.

With a little sigh, you snapped yourself back into reality and pulled out one of your thick notebooks filled to the brim with ripped out papers and math equations. Then, out came your laptop. You were going to help him with the classic civilizations course he was in and he was going to help you with calculus. To say it was going to be a long night was an underwhelming way to put it.

A small rap at the door took your attention from setting up the room and in a moment, you were faced with his honeyed hair and kind eyes. His hand was still against the door, but he had changed from before. A thick sweater with a tall neck covered his chest and rested on his shoulders, making them look as if they could block the whole doorway. Lips parted just slightly and hair tossed from the wind, he waited for a moment before giving you a sweet wave.

“Good evening,” he said in a little accent, trying to imitate a vampire. You simply bent at the waist, giving him half a bow with a dramatic hand extended towards him.

“M’lady,” you chuckled. It pulled a laugh from his lips and a hand on your head as he walked past you to put his bags down. You heard him breathe the word ‘ridiculous’. The jokes he made never hurt.

“Are you ready, y/n? It’s about to get spicy.” He had his back to you as you straightened, batting at your hair to put it back in place. He was shuffling around in his bag for his books and laptop as well, zipping and unzipping and generally looking out of it.

Fixing him with a little look, you came up beside him and leaned against a desk to look him in the eye. “I don’t know, are you? You seem a bit frazzled here.”

“Because you’re looking at me,” he shot, testing the waters. Sangyeon didn’t really look at you when he said risky things, not knowing how you were going to take it. You, despite the bubbles in your throat, managed to come up with something to say.

“False,” you began, lifting your index finger up and poking at his shoulder, “you couldn’t find your pencil case when you weren’t looking at me. So what’s the dealio?”

His softer expression broke into a little smile, shaking his head as he asked, “did you just say dealio?”

“Yes. What about it?”

Your eyes proposed a challenge you didn’t know you meant. He didn’t take the bait, only giving you another shake while asking, “why do I talk to you?”

You shrugged. “Because I’m great company.”

“True,” was all he had to say and the room fell silent.

The lighting in this classroom was more orange than the other and you wondered why the university would install different light bulbs. Thoughts of consistency ran through your head to distract you from what you really wanted to think about and feel, your fingers dragging streaks through the leftover chalk on the board. Looking at the powder on your skin, you forced yourself to focus on the way your skin folded into its own pattern and design. Little lines like this traced into your hand and formed your destiny. How silly it seemed and yet, you couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to know what your palm says about you.

“Are we going to start?” Sangyeon asked. Flicking your eyes up to him, you found your notebook in his hand and a little smile on his lips. The only response he needed was a nod and you were off.

It wasn’t long before you were both confused about what the calculus homework meant. He had blue chalk smudged across his cheek and his eyebrows furled inwards. Somehow, hours had passed and it was starting to feel dark rather than look it- you didn’t have any windows to check. Only, you didn’t feel tired. Looking at the way his lips scrunched forwards like they were seeing if proximity created a better understanding of the work he was doing kept you awake. If he dared look at you, you would pretend like you were paying attention to whatever he was saying.

“I think you’re supposed to use the chain rule here, or something,” he added the last bit with less confidence, removing his finger from the board and blinking hard. You couldn’t help the bubbling laugh that burst past your lips.

“Oh my god, what?” He was slightly annoyed, though he gave you a bit of a smile for consistency.

“You just-” you gasped, trying not to giggle as much and form a real sentence, “you’re supposed to be teaching me, and even you don’t know.”

Sangyeon chuckled along, rubbing at his eye with the back of his hand. The chalk was perched between his index and thumb, dust falling onto his shirt. “So now you’re calling me a horrible tutor?”

You gave him a toothy grin. “I said nothing of the sort.”

“Mhmm,” he hummed, giving you a coy look as he walked closer to you. He was just going to put the notebook down on the desk behind you, you knew that. It didn’t stop your breath from hitching in your throat or the sweat that started to form on your palms. Could he see your heart racing from the way your eyes darted anywhere but your face?

He put your notebook down on the desk behind you, reaching a bit. He knew what he was doing. He always knew what he was doing, except maybe when it came to math; but when it came to you, Sangyeon had his ways.

“Thank you for staying late and trying to help me, though,” you hummed, trying to keep conversation going so you could pay attention to something other than the way your ribs felt against a wild beating.

He shrugged. “You make staying late worthwhile.”

You couldn’t deny the heat that rushed through your body. While he was practical and rather polite, Sangyeon was also very good at catering to other people. He could tell them what they wanted to hear. You were never sure if he was being genuine or not and it always broke your spirits; but then you felt his hand press against yours slightly. It was so light and cautious, like he didn’t know if he could do it or not. Just as quickly, the pressure was pulled away and you felt the battering of rams against your chest.

Neither of you were particularly looking at each other, though both of you were somehow unable to breathe. He took it easier than you did, hiding it well with the way he shifted his hair out of his eyes and tore his gaze to the side of the room. You didn’t know what to say, noticing the lapse in the conversation but not knowing how to continue it.

“I’m sorry,” he began to say but that was all you didn’t want to hear.

Rushing to get the words out, your eyes locked and you blurted, “n- no! Why would you be sorry? Don’t be stupid- I’m stupid, I should’ve said something, I just- I-”

Your voice dropped off and became nothing again. In an attempt to save face, you let your head dip. Sangyeon’s fingers curled around your jaw as he came closer and pulled you up to meet him. His eyes held the lyrics to love songs in them and all the warmth of a fireplace. He had a soft glow under his tan skin, his body alive with each and every touch of yours.

“You just?”

It took everything for you not to break eye contact but you couldn’t help yourself. Eyelashes fluttering shut and toes pressing you forward, you pressed your lips against his like you would run a feather over paper. His hand stayed your jaw, kept you in place for a moment before you dropped down to your heels again. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him again, not after feeling like you’d taken a ridiculous chance. Though, you supposed this was a good thing. It gave him a chance to place his other hand on your free cheek and rub circles under your eyes to open them.

“Can I kiss you again?” His voice was barely a whisper.

You nodded, and there he was. Your hand made a ball of his shirt to bring him closer to you. Your legs shook from fear and anxiety and the way he made you weak from even breathing next to you.

Sangyeon pulled away for a moment to ask, “and again?” His forehead pressed against yours lightly.

“Yes,” you murmured, over the stillness of a winter’s night and snow you couldn’t see on the ground; over the mountains in your stomach and the raging rivers of your mind. Over his smiles and the way his eyes crinkled. He was at the front of your mind and beneath your very fingertips.

You couldn’t believe it. That Lee Sangyeon, huh?