#I used to hate those couple tiktok weird things but all that cheesy shit is so real I catch myself saying things to him that are so gross

[pirates-and-posies]

If I start posting about how much I love my boyfriend just keep scrolling because at this point I'm about to launch like a fucking nuke and only talk about him

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

maxander head canons

@ant-thebooknerd requested this in my comment section so here it is. @hathorneheiress helped with this post. some hcs might suck and i apologize if anything doesn’t make sense cause this isn’t proof read. i haven't gotten any real sleep in 3 days so my hcs making brain juice has almost run out. hope you like it! i will make a part two bc i love them and these were so easy and fun to make.

max gets annoyed sometimes cause she loves reading but hates having to hold the book open, and those contraptions you buy online don't work. xander built her smth just for her.

they're the type of people to kiss each other's feet and bow down to each other as a joke

when they can't sleep, they read smut to each other.

when they’re out in public, xander clings onto her arm like a baby.

although they’re in a relationship, they’re both really shy when it comes to telling the other i love you. either that or they make it a competition like who can go the longest without saying i love you accidently.

they're the type of people to always be on call. it doesn't matter if they're sleeping or at the bathroom, they will NOT hang up.

i can see him asking her to prom with those super cliche embarrassing posters with puns and stuff. max squealed like a seal when he did it.

they do those challenges on tiktok where someone puts the karaoke version of a song on and the other has to guess what song is playing (search it up if you don’t know what im talking about).

speaking of singing, they make the weirdest parodies of songs and sing them during their weekly dinners with the rest of the family.

when xander doesn't want to wake up and get out of bed, max shakes her ass in his face and jumps all over him.

they both love lying down sprawled on the floor quietly, staring at the ceiling, questioning their life decisions together.

they love scaring people when they're in his lab and people are passing by saying stuff like 'harder, xander! ah you’re so big. yes that's it right there". they always succeed. 

they love pretending like they're their favorite historical romance couples like elizabeth and darcy from pride and prejudice. they go around acting out all of the scenes and stuff.

whenever their favorite artists release an album, they have a listening party with popcorn, candy, balloons, confetti, etc. its this huge thing and it basically becomes a holiday for them (which obviously doesn't have a set date bc albums are released randomly)

they post those weird cliche cheesy prank videos like "pregnancy prank on my boyfriend"

when they cuddle in bed, max is the big spoon and xander is the little spoon.

they’re both cuddle addicts. they’ll be at a super important event and they’ll be sitting on the floor in each other’s arms whispering things to each other. alisa gets so mad and thinks its bad for their image.

ever since they started dating, xander doesn't use his pillow anymore, he lies down on max's chest bc he think boobs are better than any pillow.

they love watching crime series and trying to figure out who committed the crime themselves.

max loves making paper flower bouquets for xander.

max wanted to learn how to twerk so she got xander to teach her. she's now an expert (even better than xander)

xander loves picking up her hand and bowing down to kiss it like some historical romance boyfriend saying stuff like "why hello there, mlady"

they are constantly sending each other tiktoks. one will wake up the next morning and see that the other one sent them 20 different tiktoks. they send the other their thoughts on each and everyone of them in a numbered list.

max becomes a literal monster when she’s on her period. she’s constantly screaming at xander to get her chocolate and stuff and xander’s running around trying to get it for her. she also asks for the most unreasonable things ever. she’ll ask xander to get her a book blanket or some shit and xander will sit there, terrified, wondering what he’s supposed to do.

max is always bragging about the fact that she can eat more than xander even though he’s much bigger than she is.

max will only swear for real in front of xander. they make a competition out of it: “who can out swear the other” usually sweet cinnamon roll xander wins surprisingly.

they sneak around hawthorne house together to try to get all of the juicy gossip. i can see them acting like they're in a comedy movie hiding behind cleaning carts and stuff.

they call each other stuff like 'my sexy sweet sugar plum dusted with pepper" and "my hot little apple pie sprinkled with glitter"

they draw stuff on each other's arms with sharpies. they're too scared to get actual tattoos so this is the next best thing.

when max has a bad day, she loves lying down completely on top of xander and placing her head in the crook of his neck. it allows her to decompress and relax.

nose kisses are their favorite type of kisses bc it always makes the other blush and scrunch their nose, and they find it adorable.

they have matching shirts that go like "if lost return to max"/"i am max"

[vvakarians]

I need to be vulnerable for a second.

It’s been a year. I���ve made a lot of progress and am still uprooting shit I’ve been wading in for a while now. I’m growing and learning. But I’ve never gone into detail really, maybe on twitter and mentioned it a couple times but yeah. Been thinking a lot.

TW for Homophobia / Abuse

TLDR; My best friend was a shitlord and I spent ten minutes painfully sobbing about it. I’m fine lmao just needed to make a messy post.

Won’t be mentioning who they were on SM here but if mutuals who are and were friends w/ both of us want to know, hmu lmao. I sincerely hope y’all didn’t get shit on like I did

I’m so tired. I’m tired of knowing that someone I used to call my best friend literally cyberstalked me in a discord server and when I told them I wanted to have a space without them/wouldn’t be interacting with their character, they lost it.

I’ll call this person A. They were there for me through a lot but it got weird towards the end for sure. A was always clingy, always needed to be right (passed it off as an OCD thing), and always felt like they needed to be included in things I was doing. Abandonment issues due to trauma they said, still doesn’t excuse it but you know? Fine.

I identified as aro/ace for a long time bc I was severely traumatized. Someone thirst followed me and cornered me into a relationship/took my kindness for granted (Not A, not yet). A’s reaction was to assume I would never have time for them and we would drift apart, just because I had a partner. They complained about this to me and said that even if I was just their friend and QPP (we were both aro/ace) that they still felt I would abandon them. I tried to calm them down the entire time, this was October 2018. Three days later I had a severe PTSD break (unrelated trauma) and broke up with my ‘boyfriend’. A said it was the right decision and we left it at that.

Cut to me a year later having recovered a bit and realizing I had romantic feelings still. That I *wanted* to kiss and take someone out, and do heavily romantic things. During this time A and I had severe issues with D&D parties also where they would break down if they didn’t know everything and said that I couldn’t produce any part of my worlds for profit bc theh had contributed in a small way. It was a bad time. It lead to the complete disintegration of two relationships that I can...probably never get back. One of which I’m not sure I *want* back, but that’s a different story.

Basically they wanted to be the DM with half the credit despite only making npcs I could easily replace or cut out entirely. Now that I started playing again, I have.

I still was friends with them, still waveringly QPP’s with them. Though I’d often feel my skin crawl when they touched me or wanted to be in my space. This was all the time, not when I got triggered into a PTSD episode. I was annoyed when they wanted to always be in my space and have all my attention. But I felt obligated to A and had been recently traumatized again.

Even with all of this I wanted to come out as gay / mlm but still keep part of my aceness with me. Of course in feeling this, I approached A to let them know. Their response was to immediately come back with ‘we can do all of those things you want to do with a romantic partner’. Which I felt may be true for some aspecs but not me. I wanted to *be* with someone and not just...a friend. I wanted to have a boyfriend and be cheesy. I told A that it was probably true but I wanted something else. That I wanted space to think on what they had said. They came back with ‘you’re abandoning me. You just don’t like me. Everyone always leaves me’. Once again with the ‘you get a bf you’ll forget I exist’ rhetoric 🙃.

I told them that they weren’t the person I wanted to be romantic with. I was looking for someone else. I wasn’t attracted to them that way. They took that as an insult. Though to me they relented. Come to find out A got one of our mutual friends involved bc they lived in the same area. They vented and complained to them that I was going to abandon them, that I was punishing them, that they didn’t know what they did wrong. Which was behavior my parents exhibited when I was forced out as trans to them. That Inwas punishing them somehow for a misdeed or that they knew me better, they did something ‘wrong’.

The only outlet I had away from A was TikTok, we weren’t really doing D&D anymore because the party had dissolved due to their controlling habits. Every account I had was heavily monitored by A, I would vent and they would immediately pull it up and ask if I was okay. Even if I had explicitly said before that I was alright and needed some space. But TikTok was a place they barely went on. So I cosplayed more after our last visit (October 2019), and got a small following after joining a lovely d&d tag ran by one of my now closest friends. I also met my boyfriend through this tag, and several other very close friends. I made an oc that I integrated in one or two sessions of D&D before I completely stopped DMing.

Now, it gets worse. I get a following for cosplaying my oc Asariel Whately, join a server, and for a time have a pretty okay place away from A. Some breathing room. When I mentioned that Asariel (who we had talked about maybe being w/ an oc of theirs) was going to romance my now boyfriends oc in the tag, they got upset. They said that they were sad to see them with someone else, and asked if it could all be before my campaign/not actually be real. I told them no and that I’d continue doing what I wanted.

Well, after that and scouring my TikTok (i made the mistake of saying anything in the first place), they got invited to the server and started RPing/cosplaying in the tag. Which they’re allowed to do, but A has a history of wanting to be in my things and being the center of attention. When I say A got involved with *several* other characters, including a possible *minor*, that doesn’t even cover the worst of it. They got involved in a huge polyam relationship (which is fine, i’ll explain why their behavior was weird tho) that LITERALLY took up chunks of the whole server. Any time my bf and I got into chat to rp out some scene for Asariel and Fraanic, A was there to bury our scene in their own garbage. Could have been conicidence but who knows. Then the minor got added into the mix and most of us just had the server on mute/rped in DMs. It was so bad that other people noticed their bad behavior, meta gaming, and needing to be right.

Our relationship ended when someone from a private close knit server made up of all the people who wanted to remove ourselves from the toxic environment, outed our server. Said there was an nsfw server and A immediately jumped to say they wanted an invite. I panicked and DMed them for the first time in weeks to say that they couldn’t. That I needed space from them and this was the one place I had. We had a fight, they said ‘they’re my friends too’ and I pointed out that they had forced their way in, that I said I needed space. Eventually they gave up on it, thank god. But it left me wrecked for months. I didn’t create, I retreated into a two person server with my best friend who is now my boyfriend and just never looked back.

While I’m grateful that this massive upheaval gave me a new support network, got me into a good place for a romantic partnership, and allowed me to heal...I still have a lot of pain. I felt like I had been commodiefied, like an object because of how kind and soft and pliable I was. Because someone thought I was beautiful and *theirs* in the worst way. My ocs who are some of my largest coping mechanisms were tainted, I could barely play Dragon Age, couldn’t think about it. Because someone had conpletely obliterated my love for it. I hate to think they then continued to do that same thing to other people but I honestly have no clue what A is doing now. They dropped off the planet and honestly good riddance.