#I want your nasty cursewords

[windfighter]

Silly request but

Can y'all give me your favorite curse-words? Language doesn't matter but feel free to add a (literal) translation and short explanation on when you'd use it (not required but it would be nice) :3

My friend wanted a coloring book with cursewords and I wanted to make them one with a larger variety of words than the common ones you see on the internet/hear in sweden

[writing-royza]

Two Hundred and Fifty - Fingertips, 3.0

A/N: Happy Sunday, everyone! Hope you all had a lovely couple of days; I spent it binge-watching crime dramas with my mom while barely leaving the couch due to a cold, but it was fun nevertheless. Let’s startr this week with some epic Royai!

I do not own FMA.

Two Hundred and Fifty - Fingertips, 3.0

It felt like she was swaying. She was probably swaying, just a little bit. Balance didn’t have much meaning once she had no visual reference point for up or down… and the fact that she probably should have eaten before going off on this little adventure likely wasn’t helping matters.

Still, Riza did her best to sit perfectly still, her hands locked in the small wooden stocks behind her. What her enemy thought this would accomplish, she didn’t know – the things were usually reserved for confining alchemists, not ordinary soldiers.

Then again, if she permitted herself a moment of self-congratulation, she wasn’t exactly an ordinary soldier, either.

There was a soft clink from across the cell, that she ignored. That she was not alone in this place was only a small comfort, given that she had no idea who it was with the blindfold tied tightly across her eyes. And until she had some clue, she would stay silent and still, and plan her escape.

What she wouldn’t give for Roy and his newfound ability for circleless alchemy right now… but wishing would get her nowhere. Testing the wooden stocks clamped tight around her wrists, she forced her mind into quiet concentration.

It lasted only seconds before being buried in a wave of relief as, from across the cell, came a string of muttered - and highly colourful - cursewords.

Riza smiled. “Kiss your lady with that mouth, sir?” she called softly.

There was the barest of pauses, and then he was replying with an audible grin. “Only when she asks for a bit of dirty talk.” He sobered. “Are you all right, Lieutenant?”

“For the time being.” Struggling to her feet, she heard him do the same, each following the other’s careful footsteps until they met. Riza’s shoulder pressed against his arm, and she felt the brush of his nose against her hair. “You can’t see either?”

“No, but with a little teamwork, we could probably manage to remedy that. Hold still….” He edged around behind her, his breath soft on the back of her neck, nosing softly along until he found the knot of her blindfold. Riza clamped down on a shiver; the feeling was not so unlike all the times he hugged her from behind in his sleep, and she couldn’t afford to be distracted just now. “Okay, here we go….”

His teeth clamped down on the cloth, and he tugged upward. It shifted, but not quite enough. Riza bent her knees, slipping out of the blindfold, and opening her eyes to darkness almost as complete.

Roy spat out the strip of black fabric, giving a noise of disgust. “Pah! Nasty…. You good?”

“Yes. I-” Turning to face him, her mouth open to speak again, Riza froze at the sight of him. “...What did they do to you?”

Guilt coloured his expression in the space of an instant. “You noticed that, huh?” he said quietly. “I’m all right; I got a little too snarky for the enemy’s taste and he had one of his guards sock me in the nose.” He gave his usual trickster’s grin, the gesture cracking the dried blood caked down one side of his cheek and chin. “Couldn’t have hit too hard; didn’t even break it.”

“You always did have a nose for trouble,” Riza murmured, half to herself as she moved around behind him. “You’ll have to crouch, sir, I’m not tall enough to reach.”

When his blindfold lay on the floor, hair slightly more tousled than usual from its removal, Roy stood straight, dark eyes scanning the shadowed recesses of the room. “Looks as though they’ve left us to our own devices,” he commented.

“Yes, though for how long, who can say?” Riza moved toward the door, keeping her voice low. “And what they’ll want when they come back is anyone’s guess….”

She paused, her foot stopped in midstep as it pressed down on something solid. Shifting it to one side, she frowned, crouching down to see better in the gloom… and her breath caught in her throat.

Roy was watching, his head tilted curiously. “What have you got there?”

“....It’s the barrel for my gun.”

Getting swiftly to her feet, Riza kept her eyes on the floor, circling slowly outward from the barrel. Roy watched her work, his eyes alight with renewed interest and hope. “I was semi-conscious from the punch when they tossed me in here,” he said, “but I remember hearing a lot of clattering and clinking from small pieces of metal. Assuming it wasn’t you being brought in behind me….”

“It wasn’t.” Stopped partway between the fallen gun barrel and the door, Riza looked up, brown eyes full of grim victory. “They took my gun apart and tossed the pieces in to taunt me, if I happened to notice them. But I doubt they were counting on my being able to reassemble them.”

---------------

She was oozing blood from a chafed spot on her left wrist, she knew. That Roy hadn’t said anything about it as he assisted her in reassembling her weapon was nothing short of a miracle. It had taken just over an hour to scour the cell completely, finding almost all the necessary components for the gun. Their captors, it seemed, had not been so foolish as to leave her any bullets.

Riza sat with her eyes closed in concentration. “Sear pin next,” she said softly, turning the half-completed gun over in her hands. “It looks like a tiny metal rod.”

“Okay; we’ve got three of those.”

“Doesn’t matter which one.” She waited, listening to the shuffling as he pinpointed the location of the parts they had gathered, turned to pick up the one he wanted, then turned again to carefully press it into her fingers.

“I think I might have a second stage to an escape plan,” he said, softly as not to break her focus.

“Hmm?”

“So I know you said, once upon a time, that you had no interest in learning alchemy… but in a life or death situation, would you at least consider…”

---------------

The door opened, spilling light into the dark cell. A plainly dressed man, his face marred by a diagonal scar from forehead to jawline, entered and paused, looking about until his eyes adjusted to the gloom and found the two figures in the corner. He smiled broadly, the scar stretching with the expression.

“Well…. Seems you two were able to at least help yourselves see….” His eyes took in the limp form of Riza, curled on her side with her head in Roy’s lap, all signs pointing to unconsciousness. “Though your little lady was already looking rough when she came in. I’m not surprised to find her out of it.”

Roy wasn’t looking much better. Pronounced dark circles under his eyes spoke to a lack of rest, and the way he seemed reluctant to move indicated fatigue and a lack of food or water. “She tried to wait up for you,” he quipped tiredly. “Really, what time to you call this to be coming home?”

“Actually, it’s about two in the afternoon.” The man’s grin stayed steady. “The downtown area will just be getting warmed up for the evening before long, and you two are going to play a very crucial part in —“

His sentence was cut short as the ground beneath his feet bucked, sending him to his knees. Gritting his teeth, he looked up to find both soldiers getting to their feet. Behind where Roy had sat against the wall was a transmutation circle sketched in blood that still oozed from a chafing wound on Riza’s wrist.

Her very free wrist.

“Truth be told,” she said, far too casually, “we could have left hours ago. Your mistake was in keeping two people who are very used to working together in the same room.” She hefted the pistol held in her right hand. “We decided we might be further ahead to take you down instead of simply escaping.”

The man laughed. “And what are you going to do with an unloaded gun?”

He reached for his own weapon in a blur of movement, but was nowhere near quick enough. The butt of Riza’s weapon tapped him in the temple, and he dropped like a stone to the floor.

Roy crouched beside the dazed man, looking at him pityingly. “Did you honestly think a sniper couldn’t manage to reassemble her weapon by touch alone? Or that an alchemist wouldn’t find a way to transmute?” He held up one hand, the fingertips reddened by the blood used for the circle. “Just how stupid do you think we are?”