#I wanted to make the pitiful people happy and help them: DOMA

[purpurapoena]

tag dump

[frosteee]

Am I the only one who feels sorry for Doma?

[SPOILERS FOR DOMA'S BACKSTORY AND ALSO THE LATEST CHAPTERS]

He was conditioned from birth to act as a cult leader, told he could hear the voices of gods, and treated kindly merely for this fact alone and not because of any genuine quality he had. He was revered and adored because he was held up to be this seer who could solve everybody's problems and make them happy. He was a quick-fix solution to desperate and delusional people and he knew it.

Doma wasn't stupid. Even as a child he knew it was all lies - he knew for a fact that no matter what they said, he wasn't special and he couldn't hear the gods' voices. This knowledge led him to believe that the idea of an afterlife was itself bogus, because it had to be - He had no real means of getting people to paradise, it was a lie! So he naturally expected the same of paradise and hell.

He cried genuine tears of pity when people came to him with their woes, because they were adults begging a child to help them, unaware of what he truly thought and knew in his heart. Doma was living a lie and these people either would not and could not see this, and so the same applied to the afterlife. They were too stupid to see that a child couldn't be a seer just because his eyes were different, or hear divine wisdom because his hair was a different colour, they just wanted it to be so.

Doma pretended for so long he never got the chance to know what true emotions were. His parents treated him well because they believed he was a special child, not because he was their beloved son. They only cared about what the cult could bring for them, as evident by Doma's father having multiple affairs with female cult members and driving his wife to madness. These were not good, loving parents, only selfish and delusional people who used their son's features for their own gain.

Seeing Obanai's backstory, I was struck by how similar their childhoods were. Both were treated with sickening affection and false care (although Doma wasn't imprisoned, it's highly likely he never actually left the temple) due to possessing features that made them unique and which served the desires of their respective families.

Is it a wonder Doma wasn't affected by their deaths? His interactions with them were based on lies and deception. There was never time or opportunity to form a genuine bond. He didn't know anything else.

I would say that Doma, if anything, is a sociopath. He was made that way due to his upbringing, raised with fake emotions and made to express fake emotions for the sake of others.

[keeper-of-the-lilacs]

ABOUT THE MUSE: Helios

NAME YOUR MUSE: 'Helios' 'Red' 'Nerd' [Redacted]

ONE TWO PICTURE YOU LIKE BEST OF YOUR MUSE’S FC: My characters don't really have face claims but there's a few faces that remind me of Helios. Namely this guy:

TWO HEADCANONS YOU HAVE FOR YOUR MUSE:

- THE REASON HE LIKES RED IS not actually because of his own conscious choice. He's got an asshole of a 'passenger' stuck in his head after he fled Doma, and he doesn't realize it but THAT'S when he got obsessed with the color red. The same goes for other things that weren't part of his personality or tastes before.

- Helios says that he has very little aether ability, but before fleeing Garlemald he actually had a lot of potential to be a great spellcaster. The 'passenger' is soaking up all the excess aether in its host's body, which makes Helios come across as having no ability besides what his Allagan device and alchemy can do.

THREE THINGS THAT YOUR MUSE LIKES DOING IN THEIR FREE TIME:

- Ever since he met a specific Keeper woman who loves hugs, Helios has been keeping a tiny window garden in his and Ferrus' living space. Taking care of the tiny plants helps him with his depression.

- Helios experiments with his alchemy and consumes books on the subject in his spare time. He is always happy to show someone his latest success--it's like someone taking up baking as a hobby.

- Speaking of such, he also has...baking as a hobby! If he has the materials on hand, he will shower friends and acquaintances with his concoctions of sweets or savory food items.

SEVEN PEOPLE THAT YOUR MUSE LOVES/LIKES:

- Dallia: At their first meeting, she gave him a wedgie right in the middle of a packed venue. Later she tricked him into believing they had gotten married and had a kid, and now she wanted a divorce. Later still she helped saved him from Sahagin. She's seen him without his mask and hasn't made fun of him. He tentatively trusts her, and wholeheartedly feels respect and affection for her. 11/10 best ex-wife, even in their custody battle for his bottle cap collection.

- Lili: The poor woman can't hear what this rambunctious buffoon is telling her with his flapping hands and lack of lips to read, but she Tries. Helios appreciates it.

- Kingfisher the Punch Cat: OH TWELVE DON'T HURT HIM FOR TOUCHING YOUR SISTER'S BUTT ONCE. (but uh hey thanks for the solid of saving him from some fish dudes)

- Val: Someday you will let him hug you, Val-Pal. Val is the only 'responsible' influence Helios has right now, besides Ferrus. He mutely offered to stand and be an awkward public buffer to Hawk. He offers to heal Helios at times. Seriously, Val is really good for Helios I wish the little idiot didn't ruin it by trying to climb atop Val and show his 'appreciation' by snuggling.

- Sparrow: Helios pitiful wheezing noises. While it's unfortunate that these two ended up not fleshing out their dingleberry little crushes because of OOC time constraints, I still love them and Helios is still a dumb idiot hung up over a sweet faced, innocent moon cat. She was the first person to rp at him and he believes 'she was the first person who was nice to me in Eorzea'. She took this dumb, nervous, hyperactive man and calmed him down with hugs and eyes that STARED at him. It's still ADORABLE.

- Yasu: He saw the older woman as a tentative 'mother' figure before, but because he's not coming 100 feet of Sparrow, he's not sure anymore if he still feels that way. Also he's afraid of her wrath.

- Llew: Helios has a good many friends, but few are at the 'bro' level of friendship like Llewannth is. In Helios' mind, they are quickly becoming besties; not only does Llew put up with his shenanigans, but he even encourages them. They spend their time together flirting and making jokes, and Llew keeps Helios out of his sad doldrums or even feeling an itch to be a bit more violent (meaning his 'passenger' pretty much takes a nap when Llew is around, which is GREAT). Llew is a bushel of secrets, though, and Helios constantly feels like one wrong move will burn everything between them to the ground. But even handling something as hot to the touch as Llew doesn't make him consider stopping; the joy of a challenge or a puzzle to solve flies that thought right out of his head.

TWO THINGS YOUR MUSE REGRETS:

Helios has many regrets, and it's hard to pick just two. The biggest are:

- Everything, everything he did on his personal project with Marcellus that he feels made his mentor go mad. If it wasn't for his stupid adoration that drove him to go above and beyond for the man, such as digging up his Thavnarian family's old alchemy secrets and experimenting on corpses and live subjects, Marcellus would have mourned his daughter's death in peace and Helios wouldn't have had to have killed them both (his version of the story, btw).

- Outside of his personal project dedicated to Marcellus, Helios also regrets the gas chambers full of Ala Mhigan war prisoners in the labs. He hates that he used them to test his assignments. He still has nightmares of men scratching at the walls until their fingers bled, trying to get out.

A PHOBIA YOUR MUSE HAS:

Children and being tied down. Also small spaces, but that doesn't make him have a big reaction.

TAGGED BY: @thegildedgun THANK YOU BEAN

TAGGING: @gaillaffxiv @infiniteleftdoesffxiv @korpokkur-sproutling @idanwyn @sparrow-ffxiv @YOU YES YOU DO IT