#I wonder if Etho is allowed to get away with not streaming still

[brainrot-has-overtaken-me]

So many Hermits!!! Tango and Skizz joining for the first time as well!!

[viking-raider]

Silver and Magic - Chapter 11

Summary: You battle Dasa in Dragon form, ending a centuries old family feud.

Pairing: Geralt of Rivia/Reader

Word Count: 3,559

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Rating: M - Cursing, Violence, Blood, Flashbacks

Inspiration: What the dragon’s head necklace looks like (x) This is sorta what I picture reader’s sword to look like (x) and how I picture the reader’s eyes (x)

Author’s Note: I’m pulling shit out of my muse’s ass for this chapter, and probably future ones. Tell me what you think!

Tag List: @jennylovelyheart, @peakygroupie, @jessevans, @rosie-loves-things, @ohjules, @mary-ann84, @omgkatinka, @the-freak-cassie-131, @heelsamizayn, @agniavateira, @cap-barnes, @romyr4, @michelehansel, @katiebriggs004-blog, @badassbaker, @mrsaugustwalker, @authentic-bish-face, @rizeandvibe, @severuined, @supernaturalvikingwhore, @bellastellaluna, @wondersofdreaming, @thisisntmyrightera, @michelle-1185, @winchwm, @royallylazy, @sofiebstar, @worldicreate, @agniavateira, @fantasygirlsuniverse, @witches-of-discovery-a, @xuxszx, @ayamenimthiriel, @keiva1000, @klaine-92, @itsreigns, @constip8merm8, @scorpionchild81, @mylifefallingupthestairs, @onlyhenrys, @luclittlepond, @ellixthea, @lebguardians, @geralt-yennefer-jeskier, @cherrybloomn, @p3nny4urth0ught5​, @iloveyouyen​, @hollydaisy23​, @mcuimagination​, @psychosupernatural​

“This is incredible.” Ethos said, running out into the clearing of Hammer's Glen, catching sight of your and Dasa's dragon forms in the light of the thumbnail moon.

It was easier for them to see Dasa's cobalt blue body, than it was for them to see your onyx scales, they blended in so well with the inky night sky, shining like stars in the moon light. You were shaky in the sky, unaccustomed to flight, but the feeling of it was incredibly exhilarating and freeing, it had to be what birds felt, when they took flight. You leveled your body with Dasa's, high in the sky, the beating of your wings kicked up a strong wind around your bodies as you stared each other down.

“So, the whelp learns to fly.” Dasa's voice resounded through your mind.

“That's right, cousin.” You replied, getting the hang of it. “Now, it's time we end this family feud, now and forever.”

“I will not allow a runt, out do me!” Dasa howled and opened his maw, a large ball of flame forming in its deep recess, a strip of crimson red lit up his spine, from the base of his skull to the tip of his tail.

“Oh, no!” Ethos cried, seeing it. “He's going to fire on her.”

You drew a deep breath through your nostrils, opening your own maw, a stripe of violet racing from the back of your head to the tip of your tail, both of you lit up and defined against the midnight sky, red and silver eyes glowing with fury.

“She's going to fire back.” Geralt whispered, frozen in place.

“She's black and purple.” Ethos mumbled.

“Does that mean something?” Geralt asked, managing to look away from you long enough to glance at him.

“Dragons are defined by their color, you should know that much, Witcher.” he replied, still looking at you and Dasa. “Blue Dragons are uncommon. A blue Dragon with red breath are exceedingly powerful for their color.” He explained, his eyes huge. “Black Dragons are the rarest..”

“Gold Dragons are the rarest.” Geralt replied, remembering Borch, also known as Villentretenmerth, a Gold Dragon, he once helped.

“Be it as it may, Black Dragons are just as rare.” Ethos continued to explain, watching as you and Dasa charged your breathes. “But, a Black Dragon with Purple flame, I have never heard of in my life. A Silver Dragon with a Purple flame, yes, and that Dragon was not one to be messed with.” He elaborated, then got a thoughtful look on his face. “I wonder, if that was y/n's father. He was said to be a Silver Dragon.”

You released your deep breath, letting out a beam of bright violet fire from your mouth as Dasa released his Crimson, blending together in a magenta orb. You beat your mighty wings harder and strained your body, pushing your breath and flame out as hard as you could, overpowering Dasa's and forcing him to roll to the side and take a steep spiraling dive towards the ground to get away from it. You angled yourself downward and dove after him, swooping up just before you hit the ground, holding your wings straight and stiff to glide after him for a moment, before flapping them as hard as you could, chasing Dasa to the near by coast. Geralt and Ethos took off after you on foot, Geralt reached the beach just as you and Dasa locked claws. Dasa tried to let out another stream of fire, but you swiveled your head to the side and down, latching your fangs onto his throat, cutting off the steam of flame and making him roar, ferociously. Locked together you both spun and tumbled, wings beating against the other's, claws grabbing and tearing, mouths letting out bursts of flame and snapping at throats, wings and anything else reachable. You let out a thundering cry as Dasa was able to bite into the elbow of your right wing, forcing you to take a sharp roll to rip it free of his fangs. The pain of using it was almost too much for you to bare, but you stayed up in the air; the sheer determination to avenge all the innocent people Dasa had killed, to avenge Atlas, to avenge your parents and people that Dasa and his parents had taken from you. Grabbing his claws back in yours, to steady yourself, you used your horns to ram against the side of Dasa's head, then clamped down hard on the back of his neck, when you could grab at it, from his attempt to deflect your blow. Dasa screamed again, thrashing about, trying to shake free of you, but you only bit down harder, the purple stripe running down your body again as you used all the strength you had to crush the back of his neck and the base of his skull, the disturbing crunch and the metallic taste of his blood in your mouth, you gave your mighty head one hard shake, snapping what little of his neck that was left.

“Good God!” Ethos cried, mouth dropping open.

“Y/n!” Geralt screamed, his heart stopping as he watched Dasa go limp in your mouth, wings drooping and both your bodies plummet from the sky and crash with an explosion into the raging ocean below.

Geralt and Ethos stood frozen and stunned at the edge of the water, waves lapping up their lags as time seemed to stretch on, with no sight of you. The blow of hitting the water, knocked you unconscious, but the painful sting of salt water in your various wounds, shocked you back and you struggled under the waves to free yourself from Dasa, his dead claws stiffened around yours. After several frightful moments, you managed to free yourself ad used your tail and undamaged wing to propel you back to the surface, bursting from the water and spinning upward into the sky from the momentum. Both Geralt and Ethos let out relieved breathes seeing you, but their concern didn't lessen, as they watched you struggle to keep in the air and turn back towards land. You barely stayed up long enough to do so, before crashing to the ground like a bomb and skid across the sand, before finally coming to a halt. By the time Geralt and Ethos made it to the crater, your unconscious body shifted back to human form.

“Y/n.” Geralt panted, out of breath, as he dropped to his knees beside you and pushing your wet hair from your bloody face.

“These wounds.” Ethos commented, seeing the scratch across your face, the gash at your hairline, the bite mark at on your right elbow, and gashes all over your torso and legs from you and Dasa clawing at each other. “Witcher.” He said, softly, resting his hand on Geralt's shoulder. “I don't think, there's anything we can do for her.”

“Bullshit!” Geralt barked, not giving up on you. “There has to be--”

A roar rippled through the air, making Geralt and Ethos snap their heads behind them and were stunned to see a giant Gold Dragon landing on the beach several yards away.

“A G-gold Dragon.” Ethos mumbled, flabbergasted at the sight.

The Dragon approached slowly and the closer it got, the more it changed. So, by the time it reached them, it was no longer a Dragon, but a man.

“Come no closer!” Geralt warned and stood, he'd had enough of surprise Dragons.

“Calm yourself, Witcher.” The man replied, still approaching. “I've come to help.”

“Help.” Geralt snapped, growling deep in his chest. “Help, how?”

The man smiled at him, then moved to kneel beside your mortally wounded body. “The only way a grandfather can.” He said, touching your blood soaked face.

“Grandfather?”

“Yes.” He replied, grasping your dragon necklace. “I am Orzac, King of the Dragons. Y/n is my granddaughter, daughter of my youngest son, Ronar.” He explained, but his full attention was on you. Orzac closed his hand around your necklace and closed his eyes, softly speaking in Dragary. As he whispered, your wounds slowly started to close, healing up without so much as a scar or a mark. “My dearest grandchild, like your father before you, you are the mightiest of our kind, having proven yourself to your king and grandfather, honoring your kin. I am proud of you, as would be your parents. For that, I gift you this,” he squeezed the dragon pendant, and gold light shining around it. “all of it's powers, and free you of your father's banishment from home.” Orzac rested his hand upon your wet hair. “May you return, when you wish and may you live the greatest of lives.” He bent and kissed your forehead and moved away from you.

A moment later, your eyes snapped open, glowing metallic silver, and started coughing up all the sea water you had inadvertently swallowed.

“Y/n?” Geralt let out in a relieved breath, dropping beside you and pulling you up against his chest, gently patting your back as you continued to puke up water.

“Geralt.” You rasped, panting and groaning.

“Yeah.” He smiled, hugging you against him. “You're all right, I've got you now.”

You grabbed a hold of his arm, but your eyes were on Orzac, narrowing them, confused.

“It is nice to finally greet you, Grandchild.” he smiled at you, his gold eyes shining. “May we meet again, on better terms.” He winked and walked away, vanishing from sight.

“Was that...” You looked up at Geralt with shocked confusion.

“I'll explain it later.” He laughed, smiling at you.

“Here.” Ethos swept his cloak off and wrapped it around your naked body. “It's good to have you alive.”

“It's good to be alive.” You answered as Geralt scooped you up into his arms, hugging your shivering body against the warmth of his. “Did I change into a dragon?” You whispered into Geralt's ear after several silent minutes of walking.

“Yes.” He nodded, glancing at you out of the corner of his eyes, like he expected you to do it again. “A very beautiful and magnificent dragon, at that.”

“Okay.” You nodded, resting your head against his shoulder, extremely tired. “I just wanted to make sure, I wasn't hallucinating from blood loss.”

“You most certainly, were not.” Ethos laughed, still shocked himself.

Geralt carried you back to your room at the inn and laid you down on the bed, before going down to wake the innkeeper and demand the wash tub from him, carrying it back upstairs and filling it was hot water. “Come, let's get that chilled skin warm again.” He said, removing Etho's cloak from around you, picking you up again and easing you into the steaming water.

“Oh gods, that feels nice.” You moaned, melting into it. “Thank you.” You sighed, closing your eyes.

“Of course.” Geralt smiled, sitting beside the tub and gently stroking your hair. “You haven't a scratch on you.” He commented, looking over your body, the only mark on you, was the long scar from the Bruxa, all those months ago. “He did some pretty amazing healing on you.”

“Dragons are apparently very adept at healing.” You replied, turning your face into his hand. “My mother was a healer.” You told him. “my birth mother that is, she was a White Dragon.” You corrected yourself.

“Well, that explains where you get your healing talents.” He smiled, brushing the back of his knuckles over your cheek.

“That it assuredly does.” You agreed, opening your eyes to look at him. “I am sorry about the Aard.” You said, looking him over and seeing the wounds he still had. “I just didn't want you to get hurt. I knew, I could portal out to safety, once I dealt with Dasa.”

“Was that the creature's name?” He asked, settling his amber-gold eyes on you.

“It is...was.” You frowned, the battle coming back to you now. “He was my cousin. It seems that the two dragons that attacked Dragary were my uncle and his wife, they were bitter that my parents had prospered more than them, once they were both banished from home.” You explained, flashes of the memory flickering through your tired mind.

“It's fine now.” Geralt whispered, softly, to you. “Don't think of it, right now.” He told you, leaning in to kiss you. “You need to rest.” He said, pulling back slightly and tilting his head at you, tenderly. “I'll take care of you.”

“Who's going to care for you?” You asked him, touching the cut on his arm.

“I'll survive, I've suffered worse.” He assured you.

“It's my job to take care of the wounded.” You replied, frowning at him. “I'm use to caring for myself.”

“You don't always have to take care of others, and it's all right to let someone else take care of you.” He said, picking up a sponge and a bit of soap, then carefully sponging away the blood, grime and sand caked into your skin and hair. “I want to take care of you, y/n. So, let me.”

You moaned in blissful relaxation, giving yourself over to him and closing your eyes again, drifting off to sleep, in the process. Geralt finished bathing you and grabbed the fluffy towel he'd taken from Hector, having threaten the Innkeeper, who tried giving him a pitiful excuse of a towel, instead. He carefully dried your hair, smirking as you moaned in your sleep. You stirred from your slumber long enough to be toweled off, then fell back to sleep as he carried you to the pleasantly warm and soft bed. Geralt removed his torn clothing and washed himself, tended to the gash on his arm, tossed a few more oak logs on the fire, so it would burn well into the night, and laid down with you, spooning your naked body into his. He stroked the side of your neck, traced your brow and tucked the damp strands of your hair behind your ear, the tip of his finger followed the curve of your earlobe and frowned. Geralt carefully brushed your hair away from your ear and gently folded it out of the way, studying the strange metallic violet mark behind your ear, two swirling lines with a curved line running through them. He had never noticed the mark before and touched it gently, it felt cool against your heated and sweaty skin, making the pad of his finger tingle.

“Hm, that tickles.” You mumbled in your sleep, reaching up and touching the mark, smiling softly.

“Sorry, minne.” Geralt whispered back, kissing your cheek. “Go back to sleep, you need your rest.” He told you, tucking you closer against him. “Me en'ca minne.” He whispered into your ear, closing his eyes.

“There's something you should see.” Geralt said, as the two of you packed.

“All right.” You sighed, turning your attention to him.

Geralt pulled you over to the small mirror on the wall, turning you sideways and brushing your hair back. “I noticed a mark behind your ear.” He explained, holding your ear out of the way for you to see it.

“What the...” You frowned, moving closer to the mirror to look at it. “That wasn't there before.” You said, touching it, feeling its tingling coolness. “You think, it has something to do with my turning into a Dragon?” You asked, looking at him through the mirror.

“It's likely.” Geralt agreed, examining it.

“You think, as we travel back to Crasmere, we could stop by Aero's again?” You asked, stroking the mark.

“Of course.” He nodded, he'd already decided to drop by the Elf's home.

Packed, You and Geralt went to say good-bye to Ethos and Emela. You felt strange seeing the old man, Geralt had told you about what he'd done to your parents in revenge, and what he'd seen of your Dragon battle with Dasa. But, you didn't feel right just leaving without a word, either.

“I am so glad you're all right.” Emela said, throwing her arms around your neck. “I was worried sick, after what Ethos had told me.” She fretted over you.

“I'm all right.” You smiled at her, kissing her cheek. “We came to say good-bye, before heading back to Crasmere.” You told him, glancing at Ethos.

“So soon?” Emela frowned.

“The monster is dealt with, Midmaw should be more than safe from now on.” You assured her, giving her a tight smile.

“Y/n,” Ethos said, softly, moving closer to you. “I am so sorry, for not telling you what I knew of your parents.” He sighed, frowning. “Part of me believed, you were better off not knowing the truth about them, and the other part of me...” He squeezed his eyes shut. “I don't know, all of what I was thinking. I'm just really sorry.”

“I know, the truth of it now.” You answered, shifting uncomfortably. “That's all I care about.” You told him, brushing a hand through your hair.

“I am still sorry.” He said, shifting on his feet.

“I forgive you.” You whispered, hugging him.

“Three visits in a month!” Aero laughed, stepping aside and letting you and Geralt inside. “More questions about the Dragarians, I'm sure.”

“Aero, you might want to sit down.” You smiled at him, taking a seat in the living room.

“I don't like that tone.” The Elf replied, taking a seat.

“I'm a Dragon.” You laughed, just getting on with it.

“A Black Dragon, at that.” Geralt added.

“What!” Aero gasped, leaning forward.

“It seems,” You cleared your throat. “That my birth parents, were the king and queen of the Dragary Kingdom. They were both Dragons, in human form. My Grandfather, my Father's father, is the Gold Dragon, Orzac, King of all Dragons. The creature that was attacking people in Midmaw was my cousin, Dasa. His Father, my uncle Orsa, and his wife, were the Dragons that attacked them. They were jealous.”

“Then, what was this cousin of yours doing?”

“He was finishing off the rest of the Dragarian survivors.” You explained.

“Dragarian survivors?” Aero frowned, shaking his head.

“Not all of them committed the sacrifice.” Geralt explained, glancing at you. “Ethos found out that y/n's birth parents, Ronar and Izzi, didn't commit suicide, and as revenge for, supposedly ruining his father's trade business, disclosed their survival to the survivors and they killed them for it. But, not before Emela, Ethos's wife, made sure y/n was safe.”

“This is incredible!” Aero grinned, excited to hear the tale. “So, you can turn into a Dragon. How?”

You removed the pendant from under your shirt. “That's what this does to me, if I use it correctly.” You explained to him. “But, I have something else that's strange.”

“Such as?”

“I have a mark, that appeared, Geralt noticed it after my fight with Dasa.” You told him, pulling your hair up and showing it to him. “Do you have any idea what it is, or means?”

Aero got up to take a closer look. “Intriguing.” He hummed, touching it softly. “Let me see.” He trotted upstairs and came back down with a huge book, setting it down on the table beside his chair, Aero took several minutes to flip through it. “Hm.” He frowned, leaning closer to one of the pages. “It's a Dragon Mark.” He finally spoke, tilting his head at the page. “Seems all Dragons have a special mark. While, all of them are different, the lines that create the marks, are what gives the marks their power. The top curved line of yours is the healing mark, which makes sense, with your incredible capabilities of healing people, but you can also use it to heal yourself. The two parentheses, are the Magi marks, the longer one is Dragary Magic and the smaller is Battle Magic. The bottom up curve heightens your already rather sensitive senses, and the line running through it has to do with your being such a highborn of Dragon royalty.” He explained, picking the book up and turning it towards you, so you could see.

“That makes sense, I suppose.” You said, looking them over.

“You must have unlocked it, when you tapped into your true nature.” Aero said, sitting back in his seat. “It's the only thing that makes sense to me.”

“Perhaps, your grandfather would know more.” Geralt added. “He is the King of Dragons, after all.”

“That is a very good point.” Aero agreed, nodding his head at the Witcher.

“As much, as I want to get to know what family I have left, I really don't want any more surprises.” You answered, giving Aero the book back. “I just wanna go home.” You said, looking at Geralt with a tired expression.

“We'll be back in that homey cottage of yours, in no time.” Geralt promised, squeezing your hand.

[army-author]

jungkook scenario | fire and ice

❝ Jungkook has the gift to create fire with a snap of his fingers, and you have the ability to send ice shooting from your skin - with opposing talents, and opposing personalities to match, it’s no wonder that you hate each other... until you realise that you don’t... ❞

➸ prompt: There is a lockdown drill that’s lasting a really long time so we’re stuck in a dark room crammed under a desk together. Wanna talk about our feelings now?

➸ pairing: jungkook x reader

➸ requested by anon | 6.9k words | fluff, enemies to lovers au, fantasy au

➸ author’s note: idk what this au is to be honest... I just wanted Jungkook to have fire powers. I hope it’s not confusing!

When you first meet Jungkook the conditions aren’t exactly right for budding romance. They aren’t even right for potential friendship. Or acquaintanceship. Which is why you don’t begin as lovers, crushing on each other, nor do you begin as friends, smiling fondly. Not even as casual acquaintances, barely registering each other’s existence. Instead, you begin as enemies.

All because, after only two minutes of knowing each other, Jungkook manages to set your hair on fire.

Maybe it’s your fault. After all, you’re the one that provokes him.

You’re determined to dislike him from the very beginning – because your parents have warned you about the infamous fire-tamers and their unruly flames, soaring out of control with their emotions.

So when you see Jungkook at the other side of the playground on your first day of school, which claims to give the best learning experience for gifted young individuals, blessed with unique abilities, you instantly pick him out as different from you. He’s from the family that rivals your own, and just one glance at him has the proud blood in your veins bubbling. With ice woven through your DNA, allowing you to create frost at a touch, and call forth thick clouds of soft snow, it’s only natural that you’re wary of this young fire-tamer, who you know can call plumes of fire with a snap of his fingers, and in doing so, can snap apart your fragile ice. You’re prepared to hate him before you even speak to him.

Even though, when your mother had kissed you on your forehead, and waved you off to school, she made you promise, “Get on well with your new classmates. And make lots of friends.”

But you can’t be friends with a fire-tamer.

Even if he does look a lot different from what you were expecting – with his black hair parted and combed off his forehead, and his pristine school uniform, so different from the idea you had built up of fire-tamers, living wild in the desert, wearing animal hides on their backs and no shoes on their feet – you still can’t be friends with him.

As an ice-summoner, brought up in a frozen mansion, kept clean by your mother’s maids, and never allowed out into the cold, unless it was in your expensive coat, and your polished boots, just hearing of the fire-tamers’ way of living is enough to make you faint in the head, swooning at the idea of stepping outside barefoot.

Staring across at the young boy on the other side of the playground, introducing himself to some other new students, you know you can’t trust the clean image he presents. There’s got to be truth to the stories you’ve heard about fire-tamers – their wild behaviours and unruly ways. As you watch him with some other boys, an animal-talker, who’s demonstrating his powers by calling over some birds by the shrubbery to chat to them, and an unseen-seer, showing his ability by blending out of sight, the fire-tamer lifts his hand, eager to show off his own gift, and with a loud snap of his fingers, he sends out a plume of fire that has the birds scattering.

The animal-talker stares after the birds, shocked by the smoke that still lingers in the air, his lips wobbling. The fire-tamer clearly has no common-sense, you decide, calling fires from his fingers in the middle of a playground and scaring other students.

A surge of anger wells in your chest. Before you can stop yourself, you’re marching across the playground, pushing past the other new students to reach the group.

“Excuse me! Can’t you be a bit more careful? Summoning fires out of the blue is dangerous you know!”

The fire-tamer looks you up and down, lips curling into a smirk when his eyes come to rest on your family brooch pinned to your school jumper: the diamond carved into a snow-flake that marks you out as an ice-whisperer.

“Relax,” He rolls out the word, “I know how to control my gifts, so it’s fine!”

“If that were true you wouldn’t need to come to school,” you retort, “If you’re so good at controlling your gift, why don’t you just go home?”

The boy’s lip curls. “I’m here to get better. But what about you, ice-breath? Can you not use your powers at all?”

“Of course I can use my powers!” you spit back, although you know it’s a lie. You were never allowed to practice your gifts at home, in case you damaged something expensive – and everything in your house is expensive.

“Show us then!” the boy challenges, and although you’ve never summoned your powers before, with anger thrumming through your body it only takes one grit of your teeth and one clench of your fists to send shards of ice shooting from your skin. Straight towards the boy.

A spark of ice hits him on the cheek, spreading out its crystalline pattern across his well-tanned skin, turning blue with biting frost.

As soon as the ice comes in contact, he begins screaming, clawing at the skin that’s being nipped by your creation. You reach out a hand, stepping closer, panicking when you see what you’ve done. You want to stop it. How do you stop it? How do you take back your ice?

You know it must be especially painful for him, with his skin so used to heat, withstanding the sweltering dessert sun, standing firm and strong in his own smoke and ash. But one touch of ice has tears streaking down his face, freezing in streams on his cheek.

But as you move forward, desperate to to stop your powers, the boy throws up his hands to you, and trying to push you back, he sends flames leaping from his fingers.

It’s only self-defence. To melt your ice and keep himself unharmed.

But from where you stand, with fire surging towards you, reaching burning tongues to eat you up, you don’t see it that way. From where you’re standing, he’s attacking you.

The next thing you know, there’s heat billowing around your head, your view swimming from the smoke, and you can see in your periphery vision that your hair, neatly tied off your face, is now being licked by the boy’s flames.

The other children by your side are screaming as your brain tries to process what’s happening, while the fire-tamer stares on, face draining of colour as he realises what he’s done.

That’s how, on the very first day of school, you find yourself in the principal’s office, with the fire-tamer, who you discover is called Jungkook, by your side, both with your heads hanging while your headmaster scolds you for your ‘gross misconduct’ and your ‘abuse of your natural gifts’.

When you finally leave the principal’s office, biting back tears, so unused to being scolded, you’re met by the animal-talker and the unseen-seer who were talking with Jungkook before you interrupted him and got the two of you in trouble. It was Jungkook’s fault for using his powers in the first place. You wouldn’t have gone up to him if he hadn’t scared those birds away.

“Are you alright?” the unseen-seer looks at you with concern, before his eyes turn to Jungkook, whose cheeks are still flushed red from the bite of your ice.

“Fine.” You and Jungkook both speak at the same time, before turning to shoot each other a glare.

“I hope my dad didn’t shout too much,” the animal-talker pipes up, and you stare at him in confusion:

“Your dad?”

“The headmaster,” the animal-talker explains, “Mr. Kim. He’s my dad. I’m Taehyung, by the way.” He sticks out his hand with a boxy grin.

“And I’m Jimin,” the unseen-seer adds, his voice sounding oddly soft after Taehyung’s loud mannerisms.

You mumble your own name, giving the two boys a smile, while you try to ignore the fire-tamer by your side.

And so, by the end of your first day you’ve already made two friends, and one enemy.

Maybe you should give Jungkook a chance. Get over your differences. It’s been four years since you first met him, and he set your hair on fire. You know he didn’t mean it, in the same way you never meant to freeze his skin – and Jimin and Taehyung keep encouraging you to look past your differences, insisting that if you actually get to know Jungkook you’ll get on really well with him – but it will never happen. You’re far too stubborn, your hate bubbling in the pit of your stomach, anger boiling every time you look Jungkook’s way, taking in those annoyingly perfect eyes, so deep and dark you get lost in them, forgetting exactly why you dislike him in the first place, and losing any ability to think, talk, do anything. He probably does that on purpose, just to mess with you.

It’s best if you stay away, even if Jimin and Taehyung want the two of you close. With your ice powers, being near Jungkook is a danger. He can disable your abilities with one click of his fingers – snap! – and all you’re left with is thawed ice sliding down your wrists.

But that doesn’t stop your school from trying to force you together. The teachers probably do it on purpose, making you sit with Jungkook in Elemental Control class, making you team up in gym, and basically making you spend every possible moment together, so that the school can scream an ethos of acceptance, something about ‘creating connections and going beyond our differences to celebrate our gifts’. You’re sure you read something like that in the school prospectus. It probably looks good if they can show potential students, “Hey, see! Even our ice-whisperers and our fire-tamers get along!”

But you don’t get along. You can’t get past Jungkook’s differences. It’s as if he was made specifically to annoy you, God twisting his DNA together just so he can get on your nerves

All of him is infuriating. His handsome face, his towering height, the breadth of his shoulders, even the elevated veins in his hands – every part of it all comes together into something that’s so perfect it makes you guilty to hate it. Which just makes you hate him more.

So what if Jimin and Taehyung are also his friends? So what if this feud between the two of you is really inconvenient to your friendship circle? So what if you’re too old for childish dislike?

None of that stops the fact that he’s making your grades suffer – overpowering your ice in every class where you sit next to him, leaving you with half-melted ice dripping down to a sopping puddle of failed attempts by your feet. And then the teachers act as if it’s your fault that there’s a slipping hazard on the classroom floor. As if it was you that chose to sit beside Jungkook and have his fire turn your ice to water.

If you and Jungkook could only exist apart from each other, with everyone accepting that you were just born to not get along, then maybe there would be peace.

But as it is, everyone pushes you together, fire and ice, the perfect duo that everyone expects to compliment the other, like summer and winter, a hot shower after a day battling the cold outdoors, warm chocolate cake and cold ice-cream. Going perfectly together. Yeah right!

Every day you find something new to argue over.

And as you improve and grow in your talents, now knowing how to send shards of ice curling out from your fingers in complicated patters, watching as they leave trails of condensation on the warm air, while Jungkook’s flames grow bigger, crackling bright and vibrant around his hands. With this kind of power coursing through you, your and Jungkook’s fighting is starting to have more serious implications.

The small tussles you would have in first year, where the worst you would do was freeze Jungkook’s skin, while he singed a few hairs, now, when you clash there’s a chance of damage to school property, not to mention any unfortunate individuals who happen to cross paths with you.

Take the day you and Jungkook decided to audition for the school talent show for example. You were trying to show off your ice-powers to the judges, and Jungkook, just off stage, had turned the air hot and sweltering with his anxious pacing. With his warmth overwhelming you, all you could produce were a few cubes of dripping ice.

Incited, you had marched off the stage to throw all your anger at Jungkook, face still burning from the humiliation you had just experienced as you demanded, “Jungkook, why, why, why do you keep on screwing everything up for me?”

He had blanched at you, face going as white as the snow you had been hoping, but failed, to conjure.

“Why do you have to ruin everything?” you kept on, although your tone had lost all the vitriol of just a few seconds ago.

You had no right to be angry, you knew it. In fact, if anyone should have been angry, it was Jungkook.

And he was. You could see it welling below the surface, flashing dangerously in his cold eyes. His voice dripped venom as he spat back, “Sorry. But I can’t help it that your powers are so weak that they’re rendered useless just by my being nearby.”

Under his hard stare, you were folding back in on yourself. You had overstepped a line this time.

“Sorry,” he spits, “But I can’t help it that you have the same friends as me. That we take the same classes. That we have to be around each other any second longer than you would like. And sorry that you have to put up with me. Sorry that I’m so awful. But don’t you think you owe me an apology as well? Isn’t it you who keeps on picking arguments, forcing me to spend more time talking with you than I need to? It’s almost like you have an obsession with me…”

“Excuse me?” you curled you lip, fury boiling your blood.

Jungkook’s eyes sparkled when he saw he’d hit a nerve. “I said… it’s almost like you have an obsession with me? It’s almost like you love me.”

“Shut up!” cheeks burning, a spiral of ice erupted from your finger tips, shooting jagged spikes towards Jungkook, “Just shut up!” Fury rose up inside you like waves of lava, burning at your throat. The only way you could get rid of the awful feeling was spiking it all at Jungkook, shouting out your rage with poisonous insults.

In love? No. This was hate. Pure and simple.

You had never experienced real burning, seething, raging hate before, but you knew it when you felt it. It threatened to overwhelm your entire body, blood boiling, ears ringing, you could feel it scorching under your skin, red and hot, threatening to burst your heart apart.

And as you let it crash over you, your ice kept cracking outwards, spiked frozen fingers that reached out for Jungkook, dripping water as they edged closer to his hot skin.

Maybe it was self-defence. Maybe it was his own hate. But the next thing you knew, Jungkook was engulfed in flames, reducing your ice to steam. Where his feet stood, fire begin to scramble across the floor, devouring all it touched.

But neither of you cared. All you were focussed on was each other. You were consumed with Jungkook, with your loathing for him, eaten up by your own intolerance, spilling ire and ice. You shot back to defend yourself, momentarily catching his flames in frost, breaking them apart, reducing them to smoke, before he melted your attack away with more fire.

Over the crackling of burning, you shouted:

“Just because everyone else in the world loves you, Jungkook, doesn’t mean I ever will!”

And then his flames reached the wooden floorboards of the stage. It all went up with a whoosh, fire blazing hot against your skin.

The anger drained from Jungkook’s face as he realised what he had done, just as the fire alarms finally kicked in and the sprinklers went off.

Thank goodness no one had been standing there.

It was another trip to the headmaster’s office for the both of you, and with the vicious scolding you got, you were relieved to escape with only a month’s worth of detentions. Maybe it was because you had Taehyung on your side, putting in a  good word for you.

You left the headmaster’s room with your head hanging low once more, and as you walked down the hallway, with Jungkook awkwardly loitering a few steps behind, he muttered to you, “Sorry.”

And you muttered, “Sorry,” back.

“I know you don’t love me,” Jungkook continued, “I know it’s all only hate. It was just a dumb joke. Sorry.”

Maybe if he’d just left it at one ‘sorry’, you wouldn’t feel so bad. But it’s been eating you up since he let that second apology escape his lips. Or maybe it was the words that came before. ‘It’s all only hate.’ You can’t get those words out of your head, and you’re thinking that maybe now is the time to make amends. Properly. To say sorry and mean it. To be done with it. Because no matter how much you wish it, you really can’t hate Jungkook as much as you want to. Maybe it’s that irresistible face of his. Or maybe it’s because you know he’s more than the anger he shows you.

So, you’ve resolved to properly say sorry, and make things right. Maybe you’re only feeling this way because winter has settled in at your school now, and frost is biting down around you, and even Jungkook’s fire can’t stop your talents from flourishing with the snow on your side.

When you catch him after school, walking back to the dorm rooms on the other side of the site, huddled up against the cold, with only a shirt and jeans on despite the frost caking the ground, you call after him, clutching your scarf to stop it blowing off in the wind as you run over.

When he turns to see you, his shoulders visibly slump, and his eyes freeze over. You deserve that.

“What do you want?” he asks. There’s poison lacing his tone, and you find yourself swallowing against the lump developing in your throat. Why can’t you just blurt out sorry and be done with it? Instead, you mumble, “I’m walking back to the dorms, and I didn’t walk alone…”

He raises an eyebrow pointedly. “So - what? You wanted to walk with me? Me?”

With him repeating it back it really doesn’t sound believable at all.

You grit your teeth. “You’re better than no one!” You find yourself wincing at your tone. This isn’t the way to start an apology. Yet, old habits die hard, and no matter how much you want to get past your fraught history with Jungkook, your body is physically refusing your intentions, muscles stiff and jaw locked as you step down the path after him.

“I would have thought you’d rather be alone than endure any extra time in my company,” Jungkook bites back bitterly, his voice coming out on a hiss of breath. You don’t know if it’s the cold stinging him, or just your presence eating him up inside.

Now would be a good time to tell him that he’s not all that bad, that you don’t hate him nearly as much as he might think, that you’re sorry for all you ever do, that you’re ashamed of your flaring temper, more furious than any flames he could conjure.

But instead, all you can say is, “Well, you’re right. No one’s better than you.” And then you realise what you said – no one’s better than you, as in… you’re the best… - “And by that I mean I’d rather have no one than you, don’t take it the wrong way.” You hate yourself for continuing on, tripping over your phrases, getting more and more tangled in your speech. You need to stop. You need to back track. You need to just apologise before you make this worse.

“Well then,” Jungkook speeds up his step, pacing away from you on his longer legs, “You can walk by yourself can’t you?”

“Wait!” you call him back before you can stop yourself, and stumble to a halt when he turns around sharply to face you so that you almost face-plant into his chest.

His dark eyes demand, “What?”

You should say sorry. Say it. Just say it.

Instead, all you mumble is: “You look like an idiot wandering around in only a shirt and jeans in this weather.”

His eyebrows rise up his forehead. “Well sorry… but we don’t exactly have cold weather in the deserts, so I never get to buy them at home.”

Before he can continue on whining, giving excuses, you unwind your own scarf from your neck, and reach up on tip toes to throw it around his shoulders.

He stares at you, blinking his surprise with parted lips, and you only give a huff, “You can keep it. I don’t want it back. Not after it’s touched you.”

Even when you’re being nice, you just have to add in an insult. You resist the urge to kick yourself, and instead, turn on your heel and walk off, even though your dorm is back in the other direction, the same direction Jungkook’s heading. Darn!

“I just wish we could get past all that’s happened between us,” you complain to Taehyung and Jimin over lunch the next day.

Your friends share a look, while you rip a bite off your sandwich and chew with vigour, before continuing, “I mean… I tried apologising, I really did, but I just couldn’t do it!” You slump down, shoulders sagging as you remember your failed attempts to make things right after years of making things wrong.

“Why do you hate him so much anyway?” Taehyung asks, as he reaches to steal a chip from your plate. You’re too distracted by your own problems to bother chastising him for his food theft.

“I don’t know,” you shrug lamely, “I guess it started because fire-tamers and ice-whispers have been fighting with each other since as long as our families can remember. Because of that I never even gave him a chance. You know, I took one look at him in the playground on our first day here, and already thought I hated him. I didn’t even know him though, so how could I have hated him just like that?” You hang your head, looking down to your half-chewed sandwich, suddenly seeming unappetising after all this talk. “I never gave him a chance to show himself outside of his gifts, and he never gave me a chance either. Every time we cross paths we manage to get in each other’s way – his fire is always melting my ice, and my thawed snow puts out his flames. Kind of a vicious cycle...”

Jimin hums in sympathy. “It really is a shame. You two have a lot more in common than you think, if only you could get past your families’ names.”

You rest your head in your hands, squishing up your cheeks. “I know. I know. I just wish I could start over with him…”

“Well here’s your chance,” Taehyung whispers, and you look up to see Jungkook weaving past groups of students, heading towards your table. His eyes light up when Taehyung gives him a wave, and he waves back, gracing Jimin with a grin as well, before his eyes flicker to yours momentarily, and one side of his lips curl in a tentative half-smile.

This is the problem with sharing friends with him. You should stay, try making conversation with him, get to know more about him – but despite all your moaning just a few seconds before, as soon as he sits down beside you, you stand up, as if electrocuted, and announce, “I’m going to go chat to some of my other friends,” before hastily retreating away, feeling Jungkook’s eyes burning at the back of your head.

Why can’t you face him? Why can’t you just stay by his side, try again with him, as your friends keep suggesting you should? Why are you running away? Why is your chest so tight as you glance behind you to see Jungkook still looking your way, eyes glittering with disappointment?

You find the answer much sooner than you expected.

It’s in the middle of deep winter, and you’re feeling better than ever, with your ice flowing free from your fingers, and Jungkook’s fire’s wavering on the brink of fading. The cold weather is doing wonders for your relationship, since you don’t mind sitting beside him in class nearly so much now. But maybe he minds a lot more. He’s always shivering when you’re around. Or maybe he’s shivering all the time, but you never get to see.

Still, he’s wearing your scarf wherever he goes, helping him to combat the cold, and despite the January frost, it makes your heart glow warm, knowing the gift is appreciated.

At this rate, maybe you’ll even get to apologise properly, and let him know you don’t hate him. Maybe today will be the day.

As you leave class after him, you run to catch up, calling his name, and when he turns to wait for you, maybe it’s just your imagination, but his expression seems warmer than usual. “What is it?”

You pull on the sleeves of your school uniform, feeling heat fanning across your face. “I was just… thinking we could walk to our next class together, since my other friends don’t take Elemental Control.”

“Is this because you hate being alone?” he asks teasingly, remembering the last time you tried and failed to apologise, but his voice is gentler than normal.

You want to bite back with sarcasm, but under his dark eyes, you can only give a soft, “Maybe…”

“Alright then,” he turns around and begins to walk towards your next class, slowing his steps to let you fall in pace beside him.

You glance across to his profile as you walk, his eyes fixed forward, brows scrunched, and chin tucked under the folds of your scarf, now his scarf.

“So you’re still wearing this?” you grab one of the tassels of the scarf, flapping free by his side.

He looks down to your hand, holding the faded material. “Yeah… well, it’s cold and you said I could have it, so?”

You let it go, leaving it to flutter by his side, “So nothing. I’m glad it was useful.”

Jungkook shoots you a peculiar look. “Have you caught the winter flu or something?”

“Why? Do I look sick?”

“Well… just… you’re never normally this nice. Or civil. I though you must be pretty out of it to be talking to me like this. You do realise you’re talking to Jungkook, fire-tamer, ice-melter, life ruiner?”

You bit down on your lip, feeling your cheeks burning, like Jungkook’s flames have infected your skin. “Sorry… is this weird?”

“Yes, it’s a little weird!” His eyes widen, brows raised. He looks like a startled bunny. Cute. No. Not cute.

“Well, I can be mean again, if you’d prefer that,” you huff, “But… I’m getting a little tired of hating you to be honest.”

“Now I know you’re ill,” Jungkook mutters.

You wish the walk to class wasn’t quite so long, this is getting increasingly awkward for both of you, and if your face gets any redder you might actually combust on the spot. Crunching to a halt, you ball your hands into fists, tangling your fingers in your jumper sleeves. “Listen, you don’t need to hang around me if it’s making you so uncomfortable. I was just trying to be nice, but clearly it’s not working.”

You steer your gaze down to the ground, not wanting to look at Jungkook any longer. It’s just making you feel worse, seeing him blinking at you, black eyes confused, lips pink and parted.

But you can’t hold your resolve for long, and weakly, you raise your eyes again, expecting him to be gone – to have bolted out of there the second you gave him the chance – but he’s still there, eyes dazzling when they meet yours.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, “It’s hard trying to be nice to each other after fighting for so long, huh?”

You nod, voice lost with your throat constricting. You don’t know if you’re angry with him, or hurt, or if the thrumming in your chest is a symptom of something else.

“I’m sorry for making fun of you when you tried to be nice,” Jungkook continues, “And sorry for winding you up all the time.”

Your voice wobbles slightly when you open your mouth again. Even though ice flowers are blooming on the window panes beside you, with the winter weather strengthening your powers, you still feel weak next to Jungkook, like you could melt into a pile of slush. “Hey! I was trying to work up the courage to apologise and you just come out and say it like it’s nothing? Give me a chance to be the bigger person, why don’t you!”

Jungkook cracks a smile at you, with your lips pouted, brows furrowing a line on your forehead. “Sorry, I figured you wanted to apologise, so I thought I’d make it easier for you…”

At that second, before you can respond, the alarms on the wall by you go off, and your frown melts off your face, replaced with panic. “What’s this for?”

“It’s probably only a drill,” Jungkook soothes, his voice just reaching you over the wailing alarm.

But you know the sound of that siren. It’s not the kind they use for regular emergencies, like fires. It’s an alarm calling for a full lockdown of the school. Which means - if it’s not a drill, which it might be, please let it be a drill - that someone’s gone rouge. Sometimes, rarely thankfully, students will discover another use for their powers besides helping and improving, using their talents against the people around them, to hurt and maim and destroy. Powers aren’t meant to be weapons. But some use them that way. And when they do, it means danger for all involved. And unlike other alarms, where there’s a designated procedure for escaping, with the school in lockdown all you can do is find the nearest space and hide!

Fear chokes you, slithering down your throat to squeeze at your heart.

You’re vaguely aware of Jungkook shouting at you above the alarms, but you can’t make him out, until you feel his fingers slotting around yours, and he’s tugging you along, pulling you down the corridor, filled with students, some shouting, some looking calm.

Still Jungkook tugs you along, and as your brain begins to kick back to life, you squeeze his hand tighter, not wanting to lose him in the crowd. He seems to know what he’s doing. And if you lose him, you’ll only worry all the more.

He pulls you to the nearest door, which just so happens to be a store room, filled with the janitor’s cleaning supplies. You help him pull some heavy boxes in front of the door, and you both collapse down on the other side with your hideaway safely barricaded.

In the small space your breath is ragged, and your eyes are wide. On this side of the door the alarm doesn’t sound so loud, melding with your shuddering gasps as you struggle to grasp more oxygen.

“What now?” you ask, swallowing air and adrenaline.

“We wait,” Jungkook tells you, “I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about. Maybe they set off the alarm off on accident… or maybe it’s just a drill… I doubt it’s actually... you know... a rouge.”

But his words don’t stop you from continuing to shiver, jagged movements racking through your body. You breathe out billows of frozen air, as your gift begins to well up, spilling over to chill the air, belying the flurrying emotions below your cold skin.

“Hey,” Jungkook edges a little closer, “It’s going to be okay!” He reaches out a hand to touch you, only to snap away again from your frozen skin. “You need to calm down.” You hear a slight shake in his voice somewhere past the haze of your own panic, as ice spreads out across the floor around you, crackling towards Jungkook.

“Stop that,” he stands, feet avoiding the ice, like it will burn him. Maybe it will.

“I’m sorry!” you shake your head, uselessly, “I can’t help it!” You bite down on a gulp when you realise how hypocritical that sounds, as your mind flashes through all the times that you got furious at Jungkook’s fire flaring with his emotions. And here you are, doing the same thing, and hurting him the same way he hurt you. “I’m sorry,” you repeat again, hoping that it’s enough, knowing nothing ever will be. You deserves all the anger you anticipate, predicting Jungkook spilling malice towards you, the same way you would when his flames burst forth with his passions.

But rather than getting angry at you, the way you wish he would, Jungkook steps across the ice, and reaches out his hand again, his touch light on your shoulders as he crouches down in front of you. “Listen to me. You can help it. Don’t let it consume you. We’re going to be okay. This is just a drill, and we’re going to be okay.”

Through your jumper, you can feel his hands, warm and comforting, like the final embers of a fire that wink at you as you drift to sleep by the fireplace.

“But what if it’s not a drill?”

“If it’s not a drill, then we’ll protect each other.”

You take a deep breath, gulping back the icy air you’re responsible for creating, flakes of frost melting against your tongue. “You’ll protect me? After all I did to you?”

“Of course.” Jungkook rubs at your shoulder to warm it, and the ice below his hands begins to thaw. “Didn’t we apologise to each other just a few minutes ago? Doesn’t that make us friends? Besides… Jimin and Taehyung will be upset if I let you die.”

“And you wouldn’t be upset?”

Jungkook laughs, relieved to hear your sarcastic tone finally return, “I’d be upset too. I’d cry loads. Life would be really boring without you!”

You push a smile past your freezing lips, giving in to Jungkook’s warmth. “Thank you.”

His cheeks pink, he pulls his hands away as the air around you wobbles back to room-temperature again.

“Yeah… whatever, don’t get too sappy with me, or I might actually think you love me.”

You give in to a pout, ready to argue, until your heart gives a jump, and you wonder if there’s truth to his words.

Love? You poke the word around in your brain, testing out how it feels. Love. Maybe…

Without you snapping back a retort, Jungkook gives an awkward laugh. “But that’d be weird, right?”

You want to argue with him, give a snarky response, kick the idea down to the dust, but your mind and tongue are tangled and you can’t do anything but stare back at him – at his dark eyes, sparkling curiously in the dull light of the storage room, at his pink lips, slightly blued from the ice that’s only just left the air, at his deep tan skin, starting to lose it’s golden hues as the sun hides it’s face away for winter, and you can’t honestly say you hate him anymore. Or that you even like him.

Because you love him.

Now that’s a scary thought.

“You don’t love me, do you?” Jungkook asks.

You take a breath. “What if I said I did?”

Jungkook doesn’t have a counter prepared for that. His lips part, breath ghosting out on the last trails of your frost. Maybe that’s why his cheeks are so pink. Maybe it’s just the cold.

You worry your lip with your teeth. You shouldn’t have said that. You should have just given the expected answer “Of course I hate you!” But you’re tired of that – so tired. And you’re desperate for things to be different.

Maybe this was the wrong way to ask for change, with a rushed confession and a baited breath.

But then Jungkook opens his mouth; you see his adam’s apple moving while his swallows. “If you said you did… then maybe I’d say it back.”

That wasn’t meant to happen. He wasn’t meant to love you. After all, you don’t deserve him, not after the way you’ve treated him, always so cruel, so cutting with your words. He was meant to strike you down, punish you for all you’d ever done with the simple words “I don’t love you back.”

But no, he had to say it, stretch out those so important words in the empty space between you.

“Well then…” you voice comes out little more than a whisper, barely audible above the dulled alarms ringing outside your and Jungkook’s confined world, filled with fire and ice, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

At that moment, the alarms stop. Cut off. Your ears are left ringing with the empty nothingness of silence.

Was it bad timing? Or good timing? Before you can say anything else, Jungkook is getting up to move the boxes from the door and the moment has passed.

You watch as Jungkook opens the door, and daylight pours in to interrupt the artificial light of the store room.

“Come on,” Jungkook offers you his hand to help you up, totally normal, as if you hadn’t just confessed a few seconds before.

“Is it safe?”

“They wouldn’t cut off the alarm if it wasn’t.”

You allow Jungkook to loop his hand around yours, and pull you to your feet, leading you out into the light, blinking.

As soon as you step outside, you’re bombarded by a set of arms around you, and you don’t need to look to know it’s Taehyung – the smell of earth and catnip gives the animal-talker away every time.

“I’m so happy!” he laughs into your ear, as you ask, muffled into his shoulder:

“What? Why?”

“You finally did it!”

“Did what?” You pull back to stare at your friend, with brows furrowed in confusion.

“Apologised to Jungkook!” he says, as if it’s obvious, drawing out the words long and slow.

Your eyes widen, wondering how he could possibly know that, until the mystery is solved with Jimin suddenly appearing beside you, melting out of the shadows, and not for the first time you find yourself cursing your friend’s ability to turn invisible.

“They did a lot more than apologise, Tae,” Jimin says.

Taehyung pulls away from you to gape at your friend, “More? More what? What did they do?”

“Jimin!” you accuse before he can open his mouth and spill, “You were using your gifts to eavesdrop, weren’t you!”

Jimin’s gaze fixes guiltily on the floor, “Maybe…” His plump lips quirk in a smile, as you let out an overdramatic gasp.

“Don’t be mad,” Taehyung begs, “We just wanted our two best friends to get along…”

Slowly, the whole story begins to click into place for you.

“Taehyung… did you ask your father to have a lockdown drill?”

He nods his head sheepishly. “I knew you and Jungkook would be in class together now, so I asked my dad to set the alarms off. I just wanted you to have some time together so you could apologise properly, you know? Without the possibility of either of you running away. You said that’s what you wanted. You’re not mad, are you?”

You blow out a breath, not sure whether to laugh or scold. You glance over to Jungkook, who, somehow, despite you being attacked by a hug from Taehyung, has managed to keep his hand in yours, and you can’t help but smile. No, you’re not mad.

Well, not until Jimin announces:

“Tae… you’ll never guess what! They actually confessed their love while they were alone together! It was so cute!”

“Park Jimin!” you screech, “I cannot believe you!” He gives a sheepish smile, and before you can tell him off, runs back down the corridor.

With Taehyung following after him, laughing and whooping, you make to chase them, but with Jungkook’s hand still tangled in your own, it’s hard to follow. You turn back to find the fire-tamer smiling at you.

Right. You have a lot more important things to worry about than your friends’ questionable peace-making tactics. Important things like Jungkook’s broad chest that hasn’t been hugged yet. Important things like Jungkook soft lips that haven’t been kissed yet. Right. You can get back at Jimin and Taehyung later. For now, Jungkook, warm like fire and cool like ice, is the only one you want to see.

author’s note: I’m so so so sorry that this was posted late! Uni’s been really hectic lately! I’m working hard to get back into a good routine with writing, so hopefully I’ll get back to posting more regularly soon! For now, please bear with me! 

[buzzworddotie]

The 8th Amendment Referendum in Ireland

And how history is being rewritten one step at a time

It's been a long time coming but on May 25th 2018 the people of Ireland were asked if they would like to amend the Constitution to decriminalise abortion in Ireland.

What's it all about?

Up until now, an Irish women who seeked out an abortion for personal reasons or medical ones was a criminal under Irish law. A woman would have to either travel to the UK or attempt to dangerously take abortion pills acquired illegally at home under zero medical supervision.

Or the alternative, for years, decades, Ireland and the stronghold held over her by the Catholic Church, would force girls and women into homes to have the baby. Often these babies wound up dead, buried away, hidden. Bones have been found in septic tanks.

Girls and women were treated brutally.

Secret pregnancies were also a thing, who knows how many women and girls suffered in silence?

Right up until May 25th 2018.

That's when we finally got to be heard.

Enough is Enough

I can't take a single piece of credit for getting this vote to happen but there are countless women who can. Women who have been banging on doors, demanding bodily autonomy, demanding rights, demanding choice. Finally the demand was heard, finally the government agreed to allow the people to make a decision.

The Campaigns

As soon as the vote was announced, I knew this was not going to be a particularly nice campaign. That's putting it lightly. In 2015 Ireland held the Marriage Referendum. An opportunity to change the Constitution to recognise and allow same sex marriage in Ireland. It passed, of course, but the campaign was filled with some uneducated, hateful rhetoric fuelled by the Catholic Church. Regardless of how much they wanted to deny it, hardcore religious groups and their followers were against that law with vigor and venom.

And I knew that hate would amplify for this one. I already knew what way I wanted to vote, I didn't need anyone to convince me either way, much like the Marriage Ref. But unlike then when I did tune into radio debates and absorbed the arguments, this time I made the conscious decision to avoid it as much as possible.

Marketing

Despite that it was tough to avoid, every pole, every surface available was covered with Yes and No posters. The Yes posters usually said something like "Yes for choice" "Together for Yes" or a simple "Repeal"...

Murals went up by artists like Maser, badges were made, Repeal jumpers and through the help of crowd sourcing the Yes campaign managed to gain more support for their message.

Our message.

On the No side there were an abundance of posters, I have seen images of feotus in the womb telling me babies will be murdered. Billboards across towns, rural and otherwise.

The whole thing turned into a massive marketing campaign. To a degree, on both sides. Paid ads on social media, Google and streaming services, posters... So... Many... Posters.

Social media attacks, hashags... I just didn't want to hear it. I know burying your head in the sand isn't a solution but I personally don't believe that an issue as important as this should boil down to who has the most money to promote a post or buy a billboard.

One thing I will say is that, at least where I have travelled, there was far more "No" campaign imagery than "Yes". Those were the ones with the billboards, the video ads that interrupted my viewing and I had to wonder, where was all this money coming from?

In the end Google and Facebook to the best of my knowledge pulled paid advertising on their platforms but there were other means.

Attacks on People, places and things

Another side of the campaign was the inevitable attacks. Digital rows blazed up as the concept of reasoned debate flew out the window. Some of the words I have witnessed being used against women on social media were beyond appalling, disgusting, shameful.

Were there bot accounts? Yes, there were. It doesn't take too much probing to see that and that minor exercise in investigation proved that really the "No" side was in the minority. It was clear but you could never be certain.

And by no means would I ever suggest the "Yes" side were entirely innocent, I just didn't catch the trolling by them.

"No" campaigners also attacked places, apparently in one constituency very graphic posters were hung very close to a school, causing uproar.

They also stood outside maternity hospitals.

Let me reiterate that, MATERNITY HOSPITALS.

They stood outside them holding graphic posters, other establishments too, but that one made me sick to my stomach.

Then on the stunning Benbulben, in my home county, a place I adore, they stuck a massive "NO" sign. For some reason this triggered me. Using the landscape of this country, which throughout history has been defined with feminine pronouns, to announce that women's rights were not of value was disgusting.

Photo: https://garethwray.com/product/classiebawn-benbulben-sligos-iconic-duo/

Not more disgusting than standing outside a hospital or plastering graphic and insensitive imagery around a school but a different kind of insult. As if they were claiming this land shared their voice.

What was even weirder was the fact the people who did it were practically a parody of themselves, announcing on radio that the men had put up the sign as the women made them tea and sanwiches.

This had to be a joke, right?

It's not funny

Truthfully though, this issue wasn't a joke, not to me or to anyone involved. This vote could actually be the difference between life and death for so many women.

By night, reports were coming out saying that the turnout to vote had been exceptional, people had been travelling back home from all around the country to take part.

Many popular Irish female voices had been so loud in their messages to push this cause, many Irish men got involved too stressing the importance of men getting behind women, taking a stand with them, recognising this is their issue too. Women should not be alone in this.

Soon we began to hear the results from the Exit Polls. First the Irish Times showing a landslide in favour of Repealing. It was something like 68% in favour, an insane number.

RTE Uses Us

The "main" Irish broadcaster, the state owned one, decided to announce their Exit Polls on what I think is supposed to be a late night chat show, The Late Late Show.

I found this disgusting and I didn't watch, because I never watch, because it's utter fucking drivel. But what RTE did was decide to use this campaign for their own ratings gain. They knew people would tune in and so they decided to, as far as I know, discuss how "Toxic Masculinity is a Myth", very fucking timely decision lads. As well as this they had some gobshite on NATIONAL TV talking about how she speaks to fairies.

Because heaven forbid we take a step forward as a nation.

Now, I don't know at what stage they announced the results but I do know that it wasn't before any of that other shite. Again, that was a calculated move and they will point to those viewing figures to justify the ridiculous wages that we fund for that show and it's (wooden) presenter. I'll pause that one right there.

History is Rewritten

In a move that has the potential to shock anyone not clued into who most modern Irish people actually are, the "Yes" side achieved a mammoth victory with over 1.4 million people deciding to Vote Yes, over 66% of voters.

And the 8th Amendment has been Repealed. I am so proud of all of us.

Photo: Maser, https://deandublin.ie/events/maser-exhibition/

What Now?

So where do we go from here?

I can never shake a Bell X1 lyric from my head in times like this. Fitting, given they are an Irish band:

"...History is written by the winners. And I want my say."

If we want to continue to create an Ireland that is just, inclusive, fair and reasonable we have to keep banding together and becoming the winners. The people on the reasoned side do not always need to feel like they are being walked all over.

That's how things have felt for so long, I won't even say in the past because it is still happening. This moment was monumental and something that, just like the Marriage Referendum, should be really allowed to sink into the minds of every single person who voted, the real power of what was achieved this day is epic.

We didn't just pop an X next to a box. We have literally changed the Constitution of this nation twice. We have asked to please get a chance to update this nation to reflect who we are and not to be bound to the decisions of the past, which maybe were the right decisions back then or maybe the alternative was too alternative. We had to crawl for a while, but we started to walk and now we have the chance to run.

I don't want our interest in matters like this to start and stop with things that are so clearly emotive. There is so much more to do to keep pushing forward.

And the further we move ahead the more resistance will be out against us but we can't turn a blind eye.

OK the 8th is Repealed, what can we put in place now to ensure any womelan who require ls a clinic is not harassed with hate on entry and exit as is the case in other countries?

And there are more issues outside of this.

We need to really strive to separate Church from state, the stranglehold the Church has over schools is poisonous. There are laws that exist that people are not even aware of, did you know that if you work as a teacher in one of the many, many Church affiliated schools and you do something outside of the Catholic ethos like sleep with someone outside of marraige, they can fire you?! Can you believe this shit!?

Then there are the other social issues including housing, homelessness, classism which are still very active and we need to fight back against those structures too.

We have to keep saying when enough is enough.

We have to keep looking out for each other, from all walks of life.

Sure, An Taoisach gave some really character defining moments during this debate but he and his party need to be just as active in helping people out elsewhere. Maybe it won't get them as much PR but it should and if they make the best decisions it will.

Simon Harris has been charming people during these debates. Is that enough? Is that all it takes? He is Minister for Health of a system that is simply disasterous. A system where hospitals are under funded, where women are being improperly diagnosed with ceverical cancer, where patients are left on trolleys, where I don't know if my own father is getting the best treatment he can be getting right now because I simply do not trust the HSE.

The rich are getting richer, you can barely afford a basic, single bedroom roof over your head. People, families are homeless. Maybe the few are doing well but I'd argue the majority are struggling still.

Prospects are few and far between.

Really heinous crimes have been committed, some very recently, against women and girls. A lot of them. These are issues too that need to be examined, there is an underlying problem to this that needs to be addressed.

Mental Health needs to be treated as a real issue with real, available and affordable treatment. People should be able to get counselling or therapy as easily as they can get the flu shot.

That barely scratches the surface.

Yes, we achieved something outstanding and worth celebrating but this should be the fire in our belly to ignite us to realise we can do so much more.

We don't have to sit back and take our lot. We need to keep demanding better from our leaders and our services from the extreme examples to the basics of decent roads, schools and water.

The water in my own home been undrinkable for nearly 6 months that we are aware of. And it could have been longer.

Honestly the Irish rail service Iarnrod Eireann's slogan sums us up perfectly, "We're not there yet. But we're getting there."

This country is moving forward but we can't stop demanding true equality, for everyone.

A chairde, comhghairdeas, rinneamar stair le chéile. Ligeann an treocht seo a choinneáil.

Is féidir linn é a dhéanamh.

[resultnorth1-blog]

Self-Care Interview Series: Erin Lovell Verinder

Erin Lovell Verinder is a herbalist, nutritionist and energetic healer living in the wilds of the Byron Bay hinterland in Australia, working with clients locally in her Sydney clinic and worldwide via Skype.

Routine

— Is routine important to you or do you like things to be more open and free?

I honestly love both. I keep certain parts of my day very structured especially around work days and where I can, I claim open space. I follow structure to bring in the foundations of support that are essential for me to thrive and maintain my balance. Like slow mornings, connecting to nature, enjoying a whole nourishing breakfast. But then I open up my days where possible to flow & allow spontaneity.

— What do your mornings look like? If they differ from day to day, describe your ideal morning.

I keep my mornings slow and sacred, it’s been a very intentional movement towards this over the years. I wake with the sunlight pouring into our bedroom, we live in an old church and the light in here is just next level serene. I always keep the blinds open to allow my body rhythms to harmonize with the sun and moon cycle. This regulates your cortisol and melatonin in such a fundamental way. I allow myself to wake slowly, no rush, no jump out of bed, no alarms, no startle response! I will then take time to do some stretching sequences with conscious breath, and then sit for a 20 minute meditation. Followed by a morning dog walk around our very green country town. Other mornings it’s a swim in the ocean with my husband and a lazy lay on the sand. After this, it’s breakfast time. I brew a tea, or make a tonic and take that out into the garden. I really feel it’s so important to have a whole breakfast, and we really honour that in our household, we sit and chat and connect over a meal before the day unfolds. I do my absolute best to only engage in anything work related after 8am and completely screen free before then is the daily goal.

— Do you have any bedtime rituals that help you sleep well?

Yes! I am super ritualistic about the evening wind down. I ensure I am off all screens at least two hours before sleep. I feel this is so greatly important to allow our bodies to align and flow into the yin cycle of the night. I switch off all overhead lights and only use very warm low light lamps as the sun sets. This is another trick to converse with your body to wind down, let go of any tasks and prep for rest. I read, write, listen to music and savour evenings for creative flow and conversation with my husband.

— Do you have any kind of mindfulness practice? 

Many. I practice conscious breath and meditation as my main allies. But I also spend A LOT of time with plants, growing, making, conversing and in nature scapes. This is for me the ultimate mindfulness practice of oneness, presence and connection.

Sustenance

— Describe your typical or ideal meal for each of these:

Breakfast – Scrambled eggs with turmeric, garlic and greens, avocado and some home fermented veggies on the side. 

Lunch – Wild caught Mahi Mahi with tarragon, parsley, lemon and garlic cooked in ghee, on top of a bed of greens with some roasted sweet potato on the side. (Literally one of my favourite dishes ever)

Snack – I love smoothies. Often a smoothie, my current fav is Strawberries, cashew nut butter, cashew nut mylk, collagen, hemp seeds, tocos, cinnamon, vanilla powder & ashwaganda powder.

Dinner – San choy bow, with a rainbow of veggies & lots of bold ginger flavour in vibrant cos lettuce cups.

— Do you do caffeine and in what form? If not, what is your drink of choice in the morning?

I actually do not, I am completely stimulant free. I have not always been, but just find myself so very sensitive to any stimulants these days. I used to love love love a great spicy black chai tea but since going caffeine free I have replaced it with a dandelion chai blend I make myself that is just so warming and grounding I adore it. Plus no crazy energy spikes and lows, so thats a plus!

— Do you have a sweet tooth and do you take any measures to keep it in check?

At the same time when I let go of stimulants, I completely let go of sweets- even natural sweeteners. In the past I have been an avid lover of raw chocolate and quite the connoisseur (ha) but these days I make my own carob chocolate that has no sweetener in it at all. I love carob as it’s very sweet naturally so you can get away with no added sweeteners. I pair it with vanilla powder and they work synergistically to give a natural sweetness that I find so comforting.

— Are there any particular supplements, herbs, or tinctures/tonics that you take regularly and find to be helpful with your energy level and general wellness?

I do utilize supplement support as needed, this shifts as my body shifts. I love Vitamin C on so many levels but particularly for its adrenally restorative healing elements, so it is absolutely in my daily supplement routine, alongside Magnesium citrate on the daily. With herbs, I will vary what I am taking depending on my needs. I add herbal powders and medicinal mushrooms to my tonics and smoothies. Currently my favourites are Withania (Ashwaganda) and Reishi. I also am a huge lover of infusions (long loose leaf herbal brews) and always have a big jar of an overnight infusion with me to sip throughout my day. My most utilized blend would be Nettle leaf, Oat straw and Hibiscus. Earthy, calming, tangy and nourishing.

Exercise

— Do you exercise and do you have a particular exercise routine that you repeat weekly? 

Years go I had a heinous back injury, I herniated multiple discs from overexercising. My approach and relationship to body movement completely shifted after this, from rigorous to gentleness. It is still an area of my life I have to encourage myself back to and approach more as an act of self love. Taking care of my temple. I walk my pups daily, I love pilates and swimming, I have begun the be.come project and absolutely LOVE the approach to body movement with body positivity, inclusivity, no need for any equipment and in the comfort of my own home. This all feels really supportive and a mix of gentle yet effective support for me and my body.

— Do you find exercise to be pleasurable, torturous or perhaps a little of both? How do you put yourself in the right mindset in order to keep up with it?

I am not a natural athlete by any measure! I have recently connected to how emotional it can be to return to body movement when you have been through a big physical injury/body change/life change. So for me the way I psyche myself up to do a session is to come from self love, to know this is a loving act of care for my body. That really helps me so much. Also knowing there are no rules to how you must move your body, allow exercise to meet your vibration- yin, yang and all between. Shifting the type of body movement I do with my menstrual cycle/hormones is so key. Be your own compass.

Beauty

— What is your idea of beauty – external, internal or both?

Authenticity, when someone is just purely themselves and at ease with it. I find it absolutely stunning.

— What is your skincare approach – face and body?

Oils, oils and more oil. I swear by the dewy hydration of oils. I am pretty low maintenance with skin care, and have noticed I need a lot less intervention since moving to the sea and swimming in the ocean most days. The salt magic is so nourishing for the skin. I also find the sun very healing, contrary to the fear of UV rays we have been indoctrinated with! I use a homemade herbal balm for a lot of applications, hair mask, makeup remover, and moisturizer. It is a power packed plant based mix, and such a heavenly blend. I also use Ritual oil, a moringa and blue lotus oil as a body moisturizer.  I am in my mid 30’s and really notice my skin responds so well to the dewy goodness of oils. I practice dry body brushing also, which I feel is so wonderful to aid stagnation and lymphatic flow. I use a jade roller which I keep in the fridge for extra lymphatic cooling, and use on my face every few days with oil. I always end my showers with cold water, to add in a hydrotherapy element. I wear very little makeup, but when I do it is always natural, as clean as can be. I love RMS and Ere Perez.

— Are there any foods, herbs or supplements you find to be helpful to your skin/hair/general glow?

The importance of a vibrant whole foods diet and hydration is EVERYTHING! So many compounds in our foods, fruit + veggies are anti aging and collagen boosting anti oxidant heros. I drink 3+ litres of filtered water daily and do my very best to eat a rainbow of seasonal organic fruit/veggies daily and honestly I rely on this to support my health, skin and hair primarily. I do add in a marine based collagen daily to either smoothies or tonics. Also I am in a stage of encouraging my hair to grow, and am using nettle, rosemary and horsetail infusions as a hair rinse. I also massage in olive oil and rosemary oil into my scalp, truly it is so simple and aids hair growth.

— Do you have any beauty tips/tricks you’ve found to be especially useful throughout the years?

A low tox life is key. Keep your stress in check, move your body, eat as clean as possible – mostly plants, organics or pesticide free produce, clean water and clean air. The most incredibly glowy humans I know follow this ethos. This has been my guideline and I am often told I really do not look my age. I am so at ease with ageing but it is always nice to hear you are maintaining a youthful glow!

Stress, etc.

— Do you practice any consistent routines in order to avoid stress? 

I really do. I work for myself and direct all of my offerings at this point. This can be demanding and means “work” can have a never-ending feel. There are always so many thoughts, needs and energy streams flowing into my work life. I also feel when you work as a space holder and in the healing realms, your energy output can be hefty. Burn out is high in this line of work, as you truly want to assist so deeply to aid others, we can often throw our needs to the side. I have learnt this many times in my years as a clinician/healer. I implement a lot of consistency with a structured clinic week~ limiting the amount of clients I see weekly to where I feel my energy is at and how many clients I can truly be present for. I balance myself with time off, away from screens, in nature and welcome in receiving energy to counteract my giving energy. My self care practice is the core of how I seek balance. I am actually freakily good at giving back to myself, which I believe enables me to do what I do!

— If stress cannot be avoided, what are your ways of dealing with it?

For me, it is much healthier to come at it head on.. (typical Aries answer!) I do my finest to address the stressors, and clear the way. Whether this means a mountain of admin,  which is often a stressor for me as I not a natural lover of admin. I bunker down, switch off all other distractions, play some flute music or chants, burn some incense and get in the zone. When I exit that zone I feel so accomplished and reward myself with an ocean swim, or a nature walk to balance out the mental space I have been in.

— What measures do you take when you sense a cold/general feeling of being under the weather coming on?

First and foremost I rest. Immunity can be a very strong conversation our bodies communicate to us with the message of needed REST. My go to supplement and herbal approach is to take a high dose of Vitamin C consistently in divided doses throughout my day, I also add in zinc supplements. I always have an immune focused liquid herbal tonic in my first aid support cabinet, so I begin this at a high frequent dose to meet the acute presentation of a cold/virus~ generally dosing up to 4 x daily. Usually it will have Echinacea, andrographis, elderberry, manuka, thyme in it. I love medicinal mushrooms to support immunity so I will take a blend of Reishi and Chaga in higher doses. I avoid raw foods and focus on lots of cooked warming nourishing food to feed the cold, congees, broths, soups, stew. I also make fresh oregano, thyme with sliced lemon & ginger tea. If I really honour the rest that is needed, the cold/rundown feelings will shift very swiftly.

— How do you reconcile work-time with free-time? Do those things overlap for you or do you keep them distinctly separate?

The best thing I ever did was to get a separate work phone. I have a dedicated phone that my clients can contact me on, so in my free time it is left at home or on silent. This has helped me enormously create healthy boundaries. I also do not have my work emails on my phone, so I do not check them at all unless I am sitting down at my computer to work. It is so important to be available to your own process and own life, especially when you are in the field of assisting others. These simple interventions help fortify those boundaries greatly for me.

Motivation

— Describe the actions you take or mindset you try to tap into in order to stay on track with your self-care practice and being nice to yourself?

I return to softness with myself if I lose my way a little. I do my best to not judge or engage in negative self talk. I soften and return to my centre. We all have patterns we are cycling. Although I feel I am quite a master of my own self care practice I definitely can get caught up in my workload a fair bit. One thing I do consciously do is to book a treatment in weekly in some form, usually a bodywork-massage session. I find this tactile healing so restorative.

— What do you consider to be the single most important change you’ve made to your routine or lifestyle in terms of wellness?

I recently moved from the mountains to the sea, although they are both completely beautiful nature rich locations I was very much in need a big environment change for my own health and wellbeing.  Having lived in a very cold environment mountain side for 10 + years I was craving the warmth, the salt and the sun. Being by the ocean and soaking up the sun rays has been so fundamentally healing for me at this point. Total game changer! The power of changing your environment is so potent when you feel the call to do so.

— How do you deal with periods characterized by a lack of inspiration or procrastination?

I acknowledge that this too shall pass, it is transient. I do my best to trust my own creative genius. I am quite a forward motion person, so when I am feeling uninspired it absolutely can get me down. I am naturally a procrastinator in many ways, which can be so frustrating but saying that I also have the ability to then smash out the tasks in an uncanny way! I often find when I am not in such a wonderful place with myself I feel that sense of stagnation, so I do my very best to get to the roots of that stagnation. Often it takes me getting into nature to be re inspired, crafting out some quiet space to re energize and tackle the task head on. I try to ask myself what is the block, and unpack the block to free up the energy flow.

— A book/movie/class that influenced your view of self-nourishment or self-care.

As cheesy at it sounds I LOVED Practical Magic, the witchy plant potions and the apothecary Sandra Bullock’s character opened was a total inspiration for me as teenager.. & still is now (lol).

Knowledge

— What was your path to becoming a herbalist, nutritionist, and energetic healer? How do all of those practices interweave for you?

I was always drawn to the esoteric realms and the mystery of nature. As a little girl I loved being outside, I loved the flowers, the trees, the plants, the grasses, the oceans, the mountains. I loved being an observer and always felt so held when I was in nature. As soon as I began to understand that plants could have a positive effect on our health, it just fascinated me. Learning about folklore of plant medicine, applications and remedies drew me into a language I wanted to be fluent in. I believe that much of our call to the plant path is remembering, these plants have been with us through our ancestral lines for eons. My career began really at the age of 16 with energetic healing, I met a group of wild women up north in Australia and was welcomed into circles, introduced to the concepts of healing, and recognized as a student of these realms. I learnt reiki which led to crystal healing, then to sound healing, colour therapy, kinesiology.. I went to a college for 2 years to learn energetic healing in depth and graduated by the age of 19 holding full in depth sessions on auric healing and clearing energetic blockages. For me it felt too much too soon. So I went and travelled, met my husband in the USA and studied a whole lot more. When I returned to Australia I wanted to anchor my knowledge of healing with more grounded modalities so I began studying Naturopathic medicine. I forked off into a Bachelor of Western Herbal Medicine and Nutritional Medicine. I loved learning about plants and food as medicine, I loved the union of science and grass roots knowledge. Over years of being in practice, I have found that there is no way or no need to seperate these modalities. I weave them all in together to ultimately support the client in a very holistic way. I approach my practice with this lens of perception. I lead with intuition, and merge functional testing, pathology testing, traditional folk medicine, evidence based plant medicine, nutritional medicine, and energetics all to support. I believe there are always energetics involved in a health presentation, along with the demand for nutritional healing as powerful ally, and herbal medicine to assist, shift and support. Aligning these healing modalities is a potent combination. Essentially the basis of Naturopathic Medicine is individualised care, no one case is the same. This ethos rings true to me, there is not one client I have worked with that is the same as any other. How can we approach health in one way, or believe there is one remedy for one presentation? It goes against the nature of our uniqueness! My practice is about honouring the individuals path, story and health goals.

— You put a lot of emphasis on gut health in your practice and believe it to be the root to all balanced health. Can you talk a little bit about why you see this as such an important aspect of wellbeing? 

“All diseases begin in the gut” – Hippocrates had it right!

So many issues stem from the gut, it is the root of our health. With the emergence of continued evolving science we are seeing so much more information come to light around the microbiome/microbiota, which is truly wonderful. Much of our immunity is linked with gut health, it impacts mental health greatly with our “second brain” residing in the gut producing neurotransmitters, it is involved in the auto immune expression, it defines our ability to absorb and produce nutrients/vitamins/minerals, it impacts our metabolism, it is directly connected to our stress response and digestion responds accordingly.. And so much more… I work very closely with digestive healing with each and every one of my clients as I believe this is a key element to balanced health and shifting imbalanced symptoms. Many of my clients present with poor digestion and we dig like detectives to get to the roots, often it is a leaky gut like picture – with parasites, yeast overgrowths or SIBO which we generally detect via functional testing. Once we have a good sense of what is actually happening in the gut, we go in with a supportive treatment plan – lifestyle, supplemental, nutritional and herbal interventions. It always astounds me how health can transform so greatly, from imbalanced to balanced with the right support, intention and dedication. Our bodies are so wise, and so willing to transform.

— What is your favorite way of incorporating herbal medicine into your (or your clients’) everyday life?

I personally incorporate it in so many ways. I make my own products and use them on my skin and in my home on the daily, I drink herbal teas and infusions daily and use tonic herbs to support my body/being. I have a herbal garden that is buzzing right now, so connecting with the plants via gardening is medicine to me. There is something so potent about growing and caring for a plant and utilising her healing, knowing the story of the plants beginnings enhances the healing power I believe. For clients~ it really depends but I do always advise infusions to become a part of their everyday lives. They are so very simple and accessible, basically a long brewed overnight tea! If you are working with me in a session we will touch on many ways to incorporate plant medicine into your life, from the herbs that are suitable for your current process, to cleaning up your skin care with more plant love, to working with herbal tablets/liquid tonics for marked support.

Fun and Inspiration

— What is something you are particularly excited about at the moment?

This next year feels so full of creativity, as I expand and launch multiple new offerings. Right now I am in a potent brewing stage, so I look forward to it all coming to fruition!

— What do you do to unwind or treat yourself?

Days off at the beach, going into the bush, gardening in my medicinal plant patch, reading a great book, screen free days, massages, hugs with my husband & dogs.

— A book/song/movie/piece of art to feed the soul:

Book – Braiding Sweetgrass – Robin Wall Kimmerer Song –  Stay – Cat Power/ Ba Movie –  Call me by your name Piece of Art –  A oil pastel pencil drawing gifted to me by my husband and family by my dear friend and incredible creator Chanel Tobler called “Curves like jam”

— Is there anyone you would like to hear from next in this interview series?

Emily L’ami from Bodha, she is a scent magician.

<![CDATA[ .yuzo_related_post .relatedthumb background: !important; -webkit-transition: background 0.2s linear; -moz-transition: background 0.2s linear; -o-transition: background 0.2s linear; transition: background 0.2s linear;;color:!important; .yuzo_related_post .relatedthumb:hoverbackground:#ffffff !important;color:!important; .yuzo_related_post .yuzo_text, .yuzo_related_post .yuzo_views_post color:!important; .yuzo_related_post .relatedthumb:hover .yuzo_text, .yuzo_related_post:hover .yuzo_views_post color:!important; .yuzo_related_post .relatedthumb acolor:!important; .yuzo_related_post .relatedthumb a:hovercolor:!important; .yuzo_related_post .relatedthumb:hover a color:!important; .yuzo_related_post .relatedthumb margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 5px 5px 5px 5px; ]]>

Source: http://golubkakitchen.com/self-care-interview-series-erin-lovell-verinder/

[targetcolor20-blog]

Self-Care Interview Series: Erin Lovell Verinder

Erin Lovell Verinder is a herbalist, nutritionist and energetic healer living in the wilds of the Byron Bay hinterland in Australia, working with clients locally in her Sydney clinic and worldwide via Skype.

Routine

— Is routine important to you or do you like things to be more open and free?

I honestly love both. I keep certain parts of my day very structured especially around work days and where I can, I claim open space. I follow structure to bring in the foundations of support that are essential for me to thrive and maintain my balance. Like slow mornings, connecting to nature, enjoying a whole nourishing breakfast. But then I open up my days where possible to flow & allow spontaneity.

— What do your mornings look like? If they differ from day to day, describe your ideal morning.

I keep my mornings slow and sacred, it’s been a very intentional movement towards this over the years. I wake with the sunlight pouring into our bedroom, we live in an old church and the light in here is just next level serene. I always keep the blinds open to allow my body rhythms to harmonize with the sun and moon cycle. This regulates your cortisol and melatonin in such a fundamental way. I allow myself to wake slowly, no rush, no jump out of bed, no alarms, no startle response! I will then take time to do some stretching sequences with conscious breath, and then sit for a 20 minute meditation. Followed by a morning dog walk around our very green country town. Other mornings it’s a swim in the ocean with my husband and a lazy lay on the sand. After this, it’s breakfast time. I brew a tea, or make a tonic and take that out into the garden. I really feel it’s so important to have a whole breakfast, and we really honour that in our household, we sit and chat and connect over a meal before the day unfolds. I do my absolute best to only engage in anything work related after 8am and completely screen free before then is the daily goal.

— Do you have any bedtime rituals that help you sleep well?

Yes! I am super ritualistic about the evening wind down. I ensure I am off all screens at least two hours before sleep. I feel this is so greatly important to allow our bodies to align and flow into the yin cycle of the night. I switch off all overhead lights and only use very warm low light lamps as the sun sets. This is another trick to converse with your body to wind down, let go of any tasks and prep for rest. I read, write, listen to music and savour evenings for creative flow and conversation with my husband.

— Do you have any kind of mindfulness practice? 

Many. I practice conscious breath and meditation as my main allies. But I also spend A LOT of time with plants, growing, making, conversing and in nature scapes. This is for me the ultimate mindfulness practice of oneness, presence and connection.

Sustenance

— Describe your typical or ideal meal for each of these:

Breakfast – Scrambled eggs with turmeric, garlic and greens, avocado and some home fermented veggies on the side. 

Lunch – Wild caught Mahi Mahi with tarragon, parsley, lemon and garlic cooked in ghee, on top of a bed of greens with some roasted sweet potato on the side. (Literally one of my favourite dishes ever)

Snack – I love smoothies. Often a smoothie, my current fav is Strawberries, cashew nut butter, cashew nut mylk, collagen, hemp seeds, tocos, cinnamon, vanilla powder & ashwaganda powder.

Dinner – San choy bow, with a rainbow of veggies & lots of bold ginger flavour in vibrant cos lettuce cups.

— Do you do caffeine and in what form? If not, what is your drink of choice in the morning?

I actually do not, I am completely stimulant free. I have not always been, but just find myself so very sensitive to any stimulants these days. I used to love love love a great spicy black chai tea but since going caffeine free I have replaced it with a dandelion chai blend I make myself that is just so warming and grounding I adore it. Plus no crazy energy spikes and lows, so thats a plus!

— Do you have a sweet tooth and do you take any measures to keep it in check?

At the same time when I let go of stimulants, I completely let go of sweets- even natural sweeteners. In the past I have been an avid lover of raw chocolate and quite the connoisseur (ha) but these days I make my own carob chocolate that has no sweetener in it at all. I love carob as it’s very sweet naturally so you can get away with no added sweeteners. I pair it with vanilla powder and they work synergistically to give a natural sweetness that I find so comforting.

— Are there any particular supplements, herbs, or tinctures/tonics that you take regularly and find to be helpful with your energy level and general wellness?

I do utilize supplement support as needed, this shifts as my body shifts. I love Vitamin C on so many levels but particularly for its adrenally restorative healing elements, so it is absolutely in my daily supplement routine, alongside Magnesium citrate on the daily. With herbs, I will vary what I am taking depending on my needs. I add herbal powders and medicinal mushrooms to my tonics and smoothies. Currently my favourites are Withania (Ashwaganda) and Reishi. I also am a huge lover of infusions (long loose leaf herbal brews) and always have a big jar of an overnight infusion with me to sip throughout my day. My most utilized blend would be Nettle leaf, Oat straw and Hibiscus. Earthy, calming, tangy and nourishing.

Exercise

— Do you exercise and do you have a particular exercise routine that you repeat weekly? 

Years go I had a heinous back injury, I herniated multiple discs from overexercising. My approach and relationship to body movement completely shifted after this, from rigorous to gentleness. It is still an area of my life I have to encourage myself back to and approach more as an act of self love. Taking care of my temple. I walk my pups daily, I love pilates and swimming, I have begun the be.come project and absolutely LOVE the approach to body movement with body positivity, inclusivity, no need for any equipment and in the comfort of my own home. This all feels really supportive and a mix of gentle yet effective support for me and my body.

— Do you find exercise to be pleasurable, torturous or perhaps a little of both? How do you put yourself in the right mindset in order to keep up with it?

I am not a natural athlete by any measure! I have recently connected to how emotional it can be to return to body movement when you have been through a big physical injury/body change/life change. So for me the way I psyche myself up to do a session is to come from self love, to know this is a loving act of care for my body. That really helps me so much. Also knowing there are no rules to how you must move your body, allow exercise to meet your vibration- yin, yang and all between. Shifting the type of body movement I do with my menstrual cycle/hormones is so key. Be your own compass.

Beauty

— What is your idea of beauty – external, internal or both?

Authenticity, when someone is just purely themselves and at ease with it. I find it absolutely stunning.

— What is your skincare approach – face and body?

Oils, oils and more oil. I swear by the dewy hydration of oils. I am pretty low maintenance with skin care, and have noticed I need a lot less intervention since moving to the sea and swimming in the ocean most days. The salt magic is so nourishing for the skin. I also find the sun very healing, contrary to the fear of UV rays we have been indoctrinated with! I use a homemade herbal balm for a lot of applications, hair mask, makeup remover, and moisturizer. It is a power packed plant based mix, and such a heavenly blend. I also use Ritual oil, a moringa and blue lotus oil as a body moisturizer.  I am in my mid 30’s and really notice my skin responds so well to the dewy goodness of oils. I practice dry body brushing also, which I feel is so wonderful to aid stagnation and lymphatic flow. I use a jade roller which I keep in the fridge for extra lymphatic cooling, and use on my face every few days with oil. I always end my showers with cold water, to add in a hydrotherapy element. I wear very little makeup, but when I do it is always natural, as clean as can be. I love RMS and Ere Perez.

— Are there any foods, herbs or supplements you find to be helpful to your skin/hair/general glow?

The importance of a vibrant whole foods diet and hydration is EVERYTHING! So many compounds in our foods, fruit + veggies are anti aging and collagen boosting anti oxidant heros. I drink 3+ litres of filtered water daily and do my very best to eat a rainbow of seasonal organic fruit/veggies daily and honestly I rely on this to support my health, skin and hair primarily. I do add in a marine based collagen daily to either smoothies or tonics. Also I am in a stage of encouraging my hair to grow, and am using nettle, rosemary and horsetail infusions as a hair rinse. I also massage in olive oil and rosemary oil into my scalp, truly it is so simple and aids hair growth.

— Do you have any beauty tips/tricks you’ve found to be especially useful throughout the years?

A low tox life is key. Keep your stress in check, move your body, eat as clean as possible – mostly plants, organics or pesticide free produce, clean water and clean air. The most incredibly glowy humans I know follow this ethos. This has been my guideline and I am often told I really do not look my age. I am so at ease with ageing but it is always nice to hear you are maintaining a youthful glow!

Stress, etc.

— Do you practice any consistent routines in order to avoid stress? 

I really do. I work for myself and direct all of my offerings at this point. This can be demanding and means “work” can have a never-ending feel. There are always so many thoughts, needs and energy streams flowing into my work life. I also feel when you work as a space holder and in the healing realms, your energy output can be hefty. Burn out is high in this line of work, as you truly want to assist so deeply to aid others, we can often throw our needs to the side. I have learnt this many times in my years as a clinician/healer. I implement a lot of consistency with a structured clinic week~ limiting the amount of clients I see weekly to where I feel my energy is at and how many clients I can truly be present for. I balance myself with time off, away from screens, in nature and welcome in receiving energy to counteract my giving energy. My self care practice is the core of how I seek balance. I am actually freakily good at giving back to myself, which I believe enables me to do what I do!

— If stress cannot be avoided, what are your ways of dealing with it?

For me, it is much healthier to come at it head on.. (typical Aries answer!) I do my finest to address the stressors, and clear the way. Whether this means a mountain of admin,  which is often a stressor for me as I not a natural lover of admin. I bunker down, switch off all other distractions, play some flute music or chants, burn some incense and get in the zone. When I exit that zone I feel so accomplished and reward myself with an ocean swim, or a nature walk to balance out the mental space I have been in.

— What measures do you take when you sense a cold/general feeling of being under the weather coming on?

First and foremost I rest. Immunity can be a very strong conversation our bodies communicate to us with the message of needed REST. My go to supplement and herbal approach is to take a high dose of Vitamin C consistently in divided doses throughout my day, I also add in zinc supplements. I always have an immune focused liquid herbal tonic in my first aid support cabinet, so I begin this at a high frequent dose to meet the acute presentation of a cold/virus~ generally dosing up to 4 x daily. Usually it will have Echinacea, andrographis, elderberry, manuka, thyme in it. I love medicinal mushrooms to support immunity so I will take a blend of Reishi and Chaga in higher doses. I avoid raw foods and focus on lots of cooked warming nourishing food to feed the cold, congees, broths, soups, stew. I also make fresh oregano, thyme with sliced lemon & ginger tea. If I really honour the rest that is needed, the cold/rundown feelings will shift very swiftly.

— How do you reconcile work-time with free-time? Do those things overlap for you or do you keep them distinctly separate?

The best thing I ever did was to get a separate work phone. I have a dedicated phone that my clients can contact me on, so in my free time it is left at home or on silent. This has helped me enormously create healthy boundaries. I also do not have my work emails on my phone, so I do not check them at all unless I am sitting down at my computer to work. It is so important to be available to your own process and own life, especially when you are in the field of assisting others. These simple interventions help fortify those boundaries greatly for me.

Motivation

— Describe the actions you take or mindset you try to tap into in order to stay on track with your self-care practice and being nice to yourself?

I return to softness with myself if I lose my way a little. I do my best to not judge or engage in negative self talk. I soften and return to my centre. We all have patterns we are cycling. Although I feel I am quite a master of my own self care practice I definitely can get caught up in my workload a fair bit. One thing I do consciously do is to book a treatment in weekly in some form, usually a bodywork-massage session. I find this tactile healing so restorative.

— What do you consider to be the single most important change you’ve made to your routine or lifestyle in terms of wellness?

I recently moved from the mountains to the sea, although they are both completely beautiful nature rich locations I was very much in need a big environment change for my own health and wellbeing.  Having lived in a very cold environment mountain side for 10 + years I was craving the warmth, the salt and the sun. Being by the ocean and soaking up the sun rays has been so fundamentally healing for me at this point. Total game changer! The power of changing your environment is so potent when you feel the call to do so.

— How do you deal with periods characterized by a lack of inspiration or procrastination?

I acknowledge that this too shall pass, it is transient. I do my best to trust my own creative genius. I am quite a forward motion person, so when I am feeling uninspired it absolutely can get me down. I am naturally a procrastinator in many ways, which can be so frustrating but saying that I also have the ability to then smash out the tasks in an uncanny way! I often find when I am not in such a wonderful place with myself I feel that sense of stagnation, so I do my very best to get to the roots of that stagnation. Often it takes me getting into nature to be re inspired, crafting out some quiet space to re energize and tackle the task head on. I try to ask myself what is the block, and unpack the block to free up the energy flow.

— A book/movie/class that influenced your view of self-nourishment or self-care.

As cheesy at it sounds I LOVED Practical Magic, the witchy plant potions and the apothecary Sandra Bullock’s character opened was a total inspiration for me as teenager.. & still is now (lol).

Knowledge

— What was your path to becoming a herbalist, nutritionist, and energetic healer? How do all of those practices interweave for you?

I was always drawn to the esoteric realms and the mystery of nature. As a little girl I loved being outside, I loved the flowers, the trees, the plants, the grasses, the oceans, the mountains. I loved being an observer and always felt so held when I was in nature. As soon as I began to understand that plants could have a positive effect on our health, it just fascinated me. Learning about folklore of plant medicine, applications and remedies drew me into a language I wanted to be fluent in. I believe that much of our call to the plant path is remembering, these plants have been with us through our ancestral lines for eons. My career began really at the age of 16 with energetic healing, I met a group of wild women up north in Australia and was welcomed into circles, introduced to the concepts of healing, and recognized as a student of these realms. I learnt reiki which led to crystal healing, then to sound healing, colour therapy, kinesiology.. I went to a college for 2 years to learn energetic healing in depth and graduated by the age of 19 holding full in depth sessions on auric healing and clearing energetic blockages. For me it felt too much too soon. So I went and travelled, met my husband in the USA and studied a whole lot more. When I returned to Australia I wanted to anchor my knowledge of healing with more grounded modalities so I began studying Naturopathic medicine. I forked off into a Bachelor of Western Herbal Medicine and Nutritional Medicine. I loved learning about plants and food as medicine, I loved the union of science and grass roots knowledge. Over years of being in practice, I have found that there is no way or no need to seperate these modalities. I weave them all in together to ultimately support the client in a very holistic way. I approach my practice with this lens of perception. I lead with intuition, and merge functional testing, pathology testing, traditional folk medicine, evidence based plant medicine, nutritional medicine, and energetics all to support. I believe there are always energetics involved in a health presentation, along with the demand for nutritional healing as powerful ally, and herbal medicine to assist, shift and support. Aligning these healing modalities is a potent combination. Essentially the basis of Naturopathic Medicine is individualised care, no one case is the same. This ethos rings true to me, there is not one client I have worked with that is the same as any other. How can we approach health in one way, or believe there is one remedy for one presentation? It goes against the nature of our uniqueness! My practice is about honouring the individuals path, story and health goals.

— You put a lot of emphasis on gut health in your practice and believe it to be the root to all balanced health. Can you talk a little bit about why you see this as such an important aspect of wellbeing? 

“All diseases begin in the gut” – Hippocrates had it right!

So many issues stem from the gut, it is the root of our health. With the emergence of continued evolving science we are seeing so much more information come to light around the microbiome/microbiota, which is truly wonderful. Much of our immunity is linked with gut health, it impacts mental health greatly with our “second brain” residing in the gut producing neurotransmitters, it is involved in the auto immune expression, it defines our ability to absorb and produce nutrients/vitamins/minerals, it impacts our metabolism, it is directly connected to our stress response and digestion responds accordingly.. And so much more… I work very closely with digestive healing with each and every one of my clients as I believe this is a key element to balanced health and shifting imbalanced symptoms. Many of my clients present with poor digestion and we dig like detectives to get to the roots, often it is a leaky gut like picture – with parasites, yeast overgrowths or SIBO which we generally detect via functional testing. Once we have a good sense of what is actually happening in the gut, we go in with a supportive treatment plan – lifestyle, supplemental, nutritional and herbal interventions. It always astounds me how health can transform so greatly, from imbalanced to balanced with the right support, intention and dedication. Our bodies are so wise, and so willing to transform.

— What is your favorite way of incorporating herbal medicine into your (or your clients’) everyday life?

I personally incorporate it in so many ways. I make my own products and use them on my skin and in my home on the daily, I drink herbal teas and infusions daily and use tonic herbs to support my body/being. I have a herbal garden that is buzzing right now, so connecting with the plants via gardening is medicine to me. There is something so potent about growing and caring for a plant and utilising her healing, knowing the story of the plants beginnings enhances the healing power I believe. For clients~ it really depends but I do always advise infusions to become a part of their everyday lives. They are so very simple and accessible, basically a long brewed overnight tea! If you are working with me in a session we will touch on many ways to incorporate plant medicine into your life, from the herbs that are suitable for your current process, to cleaning up your skin care with more plant love, to working with herbal tablets/liquid tonics for marked support.

Fun and Inspiration

— What is something you are particularly excited about at the moment?

This next year feels so full of creativity, as I expand and launch multiple new offerings. Right now I am in a potent brewing stage, so I look forward to it all coming to fruition!

— What do you do to unwind or treat yourself?

Days off at the beach, going into the bush, gardening in my medicinal plant patch, reading a great book, screen free days, massages, hugs with my husband & dogs.

— A book/song/movie/piece of art to feed the soul:

Book – Braiding Sweetgrass – Robin Wall Kimmerer Song –  Stay – Cat Power/ Ba Movie –  Call me by your name Piece of Art –  A oil pastel pencil drawing gifted to me by my husband and family by my dear friend and incredible creator Chanel Tobler called “Curves like jam”

— Is there anyone you would like to hear from next in this interview series?

Emily L’ami from Bodha, she is a scent magician.

<![CDATA[ .yuzo_related_post .relatedthumb background: !important; -webkit-transition: background 0.2s linear; -moz-transition: background 0.2s linear; -o-transition: background 0.2s linear; transition: background 0.2s linear;;color:!important; .yuzo_related_post .relatedthumb:hoverbackground:#ffffff !important;color:!important; .yuzo_related_post .yuzo_text, .yuzo_related_post .yuzo_views_post color:!important; .yuzo_related_post .relatedthumb:hover .yuzo_text, .yuzo_related_post:hover .yuzo_views_post color:!important; .yuzo_related_post .relatedthumb acolor:!important; .yuzo_related_post .relatedthumb a:hovercolor:!important; .yuzo_related_post .relatedthumb:hover a color:!important; .yuzo_related_post .relatedthumb margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 5px 5px 5px 5px; ]]> Source: http://golubkakitchen.com/self-care-interview-series-erin-lovell-verinder/