#I would just fuck off and use a standard toothbrush but I was recommended this type years ago

[wantonglances]

bought a new electric toothbrush, and the fucking thing didn’t even come with a wall adapter

[sillythoughtsaboutstupidthings]

Why is nothing simple and functional anymore?

This is something I've been thinking about for a while and comes up in conversation from time to time regarding things like car interiors or the very existence of "smart" appliances. But at least in those cases you can buy a used car with all the knobs and buttons you could ever want and there are still "dumb" appliances available (although likely built to a much lower standard than they were 20 years ago).

What has got me wondering where our collective sanity has gone was when I started looking for a replacement for my electric toothbrush yesterday. Turns out every single one on the market tries to be your personal dentist, or rather your annoying mom, bothering you repeatedly as you're brushing to make sure you do it their way. A 2 minute timer and a stop to remind you to brush somewhere else every 30 seconds is now just the default on every single electric toothbrush I could find that wasn't what seemed like some leftover old stock of the model I have, which is probably 10 years old or more at this point. I'm unclear as to the degree to which these brushes turn off automatically after the 2 minutes are up, I did see a video review for a more advanced "smart" toothbrush that praised it for turning off automatically, so maybe that "feature" is restricted to higher-end models. I think it's worth mentioning that my old model actually has timer that makes it temporarily stop and buzz in a few pulses every 2 minutes, which is a mild annoyance that I thought was the result of the motor spazzing out because I was pushing too hard sometimes or something, turns out it was a "feature". But at least it only does it once every 2 minutes (so typically only once per session) and goes back to brushing.

The great question is: Why the hell isn't there an electric toothbrush on the market that simply starts when you press the button and stops when you press the button again, with no interruption? Surely there's a market for that, surely I'm not the only person that doesn't want to slavishly obey a timer set by our corporate overlords? Surely?

At this point it almost seems like you have to get one of those über expensive ones that comes with some stupid app just to be able to disable the god damn timer. The ones where you pay more just to give them data about your fucking tooth brushing habits, because nothing says "smart" like cataloging your tooth brushing habits in some database somewhere for some hacker to inevitably come along and breach. Assuming they even allow you to disable the timer. God knows they have to treat us like fucking children who don't know how to brush our own god damned teeth.

"No no little Timmy you can't just brush however you want! You must remember to always spend exactly 30 seconds on each quadrant of your mouth little Timmy. Don't you know that 9 out of 10 dentists recommend brushing each quadrant of your teeth for exactly 30 seconds? Timmy you must follow what the dentists say, you mustn't deviate in the slightest, that is simply not acceptable behavior. What would your insurance provider say if they saw you?"

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP YOU'RE NOT MY FUCKING MOM I'M A FULLY GROWN ADULT I KNOW HOW TO FUCKING BRUSH MY TEETH

It's a bleak future we live in where we let such a simple aspect of our lives be controlled by the programming of the tool that should be working for us, especially when that tool is a fucking toothbrush.

[eternaljouska]

Redamancy, Chapter 5 - Lee Jihoon

Pairing: Husband!JihoonxReader

Genre: Angst, the tiniest amount of Fluff

Chapter: one | two | three | four | FIVE | six | seven | eight | nine | end | epilogue |

Word Count: 2.5k

A/N: My beta recommended Heavy by Linkin Park ft. Kiiara to go with this, and I approved (It would fit the next chapter so much, I feel like.) Also, Happy Jun The8 or The8 of Jun~

--

You wake up to the sight of Jihoon’s back. And you are a mix of candy floss and gutter water. The latter dominates.

Well, you guess gutter water is a much better breakfast than a bowl of frogs.

You separate yourself from the bed to clean up a little. In the process, you find yourself inspecting the two toothbrushes in the glass, white for Jihoon and blue for you, he told you last night. As you brush your teeth, you can’t tear your eyes away from the white toothbrush, your mind giving the owner a visit. You wonder whether you’ve been very demanding. And you wonder why Jihoon’s been very pliant to your wants. The thought follows you to the kitchen as you prepare one of Jihoon’s favorite meals for breakfast.

Considering how busy your head is, in addition to your still-imperfect hand and shoulder, you finish the dish in record time. You take a lunchbox from the kitchen cabinet and fill it with Kimchi fried rice. You don’t realize you were doing it until you set the breakfast and the lunchbox atop the dining table. Little do you know, that lunchbox is meant for Jaemin. His class ends before lunch, but he always complains about the cafeteria foods. He once said that they are so below his standard, which is determined by his least favorite food that you make—which is anything contains broccoli. Since then you always pack him lunch or snack to eat on his break. And apparently, your body seems to fall back into that habit, even if you don’t remember having it.

“Oh, you remember?” Jihoon emerges out of nowhere with a question that you assume was born from the sight of food you laid on the table.

“Uh? This? You guys have always requested this for breakfast,” you answer, reminding him of the fact that you used to cook for him and his members whenever you could.

“Oh, right.”

He takes a seat in front of you as you serve him his rice. You notice that he keeps eyeing the lunchbox even after he said his thank you. You want to say something about it, but you don’t know what. So you just watch him and eat in silence. As if on cue, the silence is interrupted right after Jihoon places down his chopsticks by the ring of his cellphone. He frowns when he sees the contact name lighting his screen before he excuses himself from the table. You don’t even nod, still watching him quietly—observing.

When Jihoon comes back to help you clean up, you ask, “Do you have to go?” After you hear your own question, you feel like some whiny kids. “I mean… You can go if you have to.”

Jihoon halts on his way to place the plates to the sink. “No, I told them I’ll send everything they need through email. I’ll deal with things from home,” he said as he continues his steps, answering you without catching your searching eyes.

You know that the company doesn’t fully support the idea. You saw that in Jihoon’s face when he hung up the phone. And you know that his staying home working is not that much different from him being in the company building. Company studio or home studio, they’re all the same. “You can go, really. Don’t… Don’t worry about me.”

He is silent—calculating, you guess.

“Here.” You take the lunchbox and give it to him. “I’ll clean up. Go, they’re expecting you.”

Jihoon eyes the lunchbox again. He’s been looking at it throughout breakfast. He’s figured it’s for him, but you shouldn’t have any idea that he needs to go out before the phone call. You shouldn’t know that someone’s expecting him in his studio. Unless you did not know, yet you have expected him to be gone in the first place.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, taking the lunchbox from you. “I’ll take a quick shower first.”

And then I’ll be gone if that’s what you want.

Jihoon comes out of the meeting late in the afternoon with a sour mood. The CEO was plastering him with how he needs to be more responsible a second after he expressed his sympathy towards what’s happening to his wife. Jihoon can’t understand. It’s true that he hasn’t finished the previous plan, but his total submission should’ve been enough for at least two more comebacks, and yet he already has a new comeback plan shoved onto his plate.

He wishes he had stayed home instead. The company is easier to deal with when he doesn’t have to face them directly. He runs his finger through his hair in agitation. It seems to him like that’s one of the only emotions he’s left with after your accident—or maybe even before that. He feels like a bomb waiting for someone to press the detonation button or pick the wrong wire. And he might know just who that someone’s going to be.

“Why are you here?” Soonyoung asks him, every syllable of his words is laced with something more like venom rather than curiosity. “She’s just back, what… yesterday? Do you forget that this was exactly what made her end up in the hospital?”

Jihoon refuses to match Soonyoung’s fervor and answers matter-of-factly, “She’s okay with me going back to work. There are a lot of things I need to take care of anyway.”

“Is she really?”

“Yes, she’s kind of the one who told me to go. I was just going to use the home studio, but she told me to go.” His tone is defensive, but Soonyoung won’t accept that.

“And you just agree? Why do I feel like you want to get away from her? That’s what you’ve been doing since as long as I can remember,” he scoffs, and Jihoon doesn’t say anything, drawing out a sigh from the older man. “Why are you like this?”

And the bomb goes off.

“Why am I like this? You know nothing, Soonyoung! Nothing! She asked me to go. Maybe she also wants to get away from me. She even has my lunch packed! How do you think I feel? Huh?” Jihoon is tired of the blames he put on himself. He doesn’t need his members to do the same—to say the same things he’s been repeating in his head, to ask the same questions he’s not capable of answering. He needs the answers from you. He needs to know what to do, what you want. He needs to know that you want him, as much as he does. But he can’t even ask you that. Not when it’s obvious to him just what your answer is.

“I know what you’re like, you fool,” Soonyoung says, reeling Jihoon’s attention back to him. “You’re waiting. She’s waiting. And this waiting game won’t end if nobody does something. You guys used to understand each other, just like that. No words, no nothing”— Soonyoung places his hands on Jihoon’s shoulders—“You are my best friend, but so is she. And she’s hurting. You think you’re the only one who’s miserable from her amnesia? She is, too. And we are, too. She’s waiting for you. After all this time, that’s what she does,” he pauses and lets out another sigh when Jihoon refuses to look at him. “Don’t you love her?”

Jihoon’s head snaps up at Soonyoung’s question, searching for his eyes, before he nods weakly.

“Then fucking own it! All she ever does is loving and taking care of you. You said you’re sorry, but that’s all! Fucking do something about it, Jihoon. There are other people who’re willing to take your place, and the only thing preventing them from doing so is that it’s fucking obvious you’re the one for her. You know better than anyone what happened with her ex, and now you’re doing just the same.

“Is she dying the only acceptable reason for guys like you to tear yourself from work? To pay her any attention? I fucking swore I’ll beat you up if you ever hurt her, and I would’ve. But Seungkwan stopped me because only the sight of you sleeping beside her made her smile for a whole week. She’s happy with you”—he then scoffs—“on the rare occasion that you’re actually home. You said you want to make up for everything, then do it. She’s alive, Jihoon. And in her current state, she still manages to remember that she loves you—she loves you. You’re fucking lucky, you know that? Go, that house is your home, not this building or your studio. Go home, Jihoon.”

Jihoon is following Soonyoung’s advice by walking straight to the elevator on the lobby, but before he even enters the slow-working confinement, someone stops him. “Jihoon-ah! I’m sorry that CEO Han’s being insensitive to your case, and, uh, I pr-probably is about to do the same right now. I, uh, I was asked to arrange a meeting for you and, uh“—Jihoon is tapping his foot, plainly irritated to the man’s way of speaking—“it’s going to be in two hours from now,” the man finally finishes. He is Mr. Kim, the manager of Pledis’ new boygroup whose comeback they were discussing in their previous meeting.

Jihoon furrows his eyebrows and answers shortly, “I’m going to go home.”

“Ji-Jihoon-ah! Wait!” The man grabs for Jihoon’s hand to stop him from getting into the elevator. “They’re preparing for their mini concert these two weeks. There’s no other time. They’re already on their way here from a fansign. I was already not there with them to settle this comeback issue here. So, please, let me keep my job.” Jihoon looks at him in apprehension.

He really doesn’t like to be the reason for someone’s unemployment. So he gives in with a sigh, “Can they be here in thirty minutes? Or an hour? I really need to be home early.”

Mr. Kim stutters, “B-but they’re coming from Wonju, it’ll take them at least an hour and fifteen minutes. And- And I thought you might want to eat lunch first. I-“

“I don’t care about lunch. Just… Send them the rough comeback plan and ask them to study it on the way. I want this one to be a quick meeting. I’ll be in my studio. Call me as soon as they’re here.”

“O-okay.”

Waiting for time to pass without doing anything turns out to be such a pain in his arse. Jihoon tried to write, but his mind’s only capable of generating words full of sap and desperation. So he stopped. He’s been toying with the phone in his hand, pondering what would happen if he calls you. He feels ridiculous, like he’s back in his twenties. He’s about to jump into the pool of reminiscence, but a knock in the door yanks him away from the edge just before his feet leave the ground.

He opens the door to the face of one Mr. Kim. “I’m- I’m sorry, the boys are here.”

Jihoon doesn’t understand why Mr. Kim is always so nervous around him, and even after the meeting finishes roughly three hours later, the man keeps on apologizing profusely to him, going as far as walking Jihoon down to his car in the basement. He drives away as he watches Mr. Kim’s waving hand grows smaller and smaller in size.

It’s almost ten when he arrives home to you walking back and forth near the kitchen and biting your nails anxiously. Jihoon never gets the chance to process the growl in his stomach or the fact that he forgot his untouched lunchbox in his studio until the delicious smell of your food reaches his nose. He also never gets the chance to process the fleeting seconds between him catching your eyes to when you’re catching his body in an embrace.

“You’re home,” you whisper into his chest.

“Hey, baby, what’s wrong?” Jihoon doesn’t even notice the pet name coming out of his lips as he circles his arms around you tightly, relishing every nanosecond and willing it to stretch to infinity. His heart gears into overdrive, and he’s dizzy from the rush.

“Nothing,” you answer, your voice small. “I just… I just thought…”

It’s not nothing.

For most of the day, you’ve been in the Haven, trying to read books in one sitting and salvage your withering plants. You didn’t remember those poor plants from your short tour, too excited to swallow everything in you forgot to revel on the taste of details. In the middle of mending your white primrose, you noticed two circles of dirt on the table, indicating two missing pots. You paused your action and frowned, eyes roaming around the perimeter until you spotted two broken pots around one corner of the greenhouse, the plants have long since died.

You cleaned the mess with the broom and dustpan you found in storage that’s also filled with your gardening equipment. Lily of the valley, you thought as you picked up what’s left of the previously beautiful flower. The structure of the carcass was very telling, and the flower itself is held very close to your heart for you not to recognize it.

And then you heard it.

A shriek so raw and agonizing that you dropped the flower and jumped at the sound of it. It woke the wasps inside your stomach, and you staggered backward, eyes wide and hands trembling. Another sound followed: something solid met the concrete and broke. You placed one of your hands on your chest, a vain attempt to control your heart and lungs, and the other groped behind you for the table’s foot. Once you had a grip around it, you slumped down and leaned on it for support. Someone wailed as you hugged yourself. Then you saw a pot flying from behind you, and you closed your eyes and screamed. Timidly, you opened your eyes and saw that it had missed the corner where the brick wall meets the glass, falling on top of the already-broken pot.

It’s white, the lilies of the valley.

You shuddered as the vision plays again and again. The woman screamed and screamed repeatedly, her agony permeating your skin, and you spluttered your pleas. “Stop. Please, s-stop. Please.” It took all of your willpower to control your breathing. You prayed for you to breathe and for her to stop, and suddenly you’re in the living room. You gasped and tightened your grip on the table’s foot until your knuckles turned white, the room was spinning. You’re sitting down, but you’re falling. Then you heard another voice intercepted the woman’s voice, lighting a candle through your fogged mind. You took solace in that small fire once you’re able to label the owner of the voice. “J-Jihoon…” you whimpered. You saw his back walking away from you, so you tried once again, “Ji…” But his response was the slam of the door that took away the oxygen and fire within you.

And you became one with that woman in the harmony of agony.

“Y/n?” Jihoon coos, his hands already cupping your face without your knowledge. And you back away in surprise.

“I’m- I’m sorry“—you clear your throat—“Let-let’s just eat.”

--

[fluffydragon85]

I know all the words to some of the songs from Grease I have seen a show on Broadway before<----The Lion King I have ran up and hugged a stranger, mistaking them for someone I knew I have drooled all over my pillow before while in a deep slumber I'm listening to my favorite song right now I have/had a mood ring(s) I have an Apple Mac I have taken an art class in school before I have owned a disco ball at one time or another I can speak fluent Spanish I've been to a roller rink and fallen flat on my butt<----I fucking miss those! I want to go to one sometime soon in the future!  I can write in Japenese I have been hospitalized for more than a month before due to a terrible injury I would streak for 50 bucks I have pole danced before just for fun I have a ridiculously large purse I have ridden a camel before I love carnivals and fairs I have spent the whole day at the mall and just walked around I live/lived/visited in Germany I love to people-watch at the airport I don't have a favorite flower I have seen the movie Love Actually I have a lot of random shit hanging on the walls of my bedroom I drink as much milk as I'm recommended to I keep my movie ticket stubs I'm going to go see a play or musical soon I have visited Mount Rushmore I have studied abroad before I don't drink enough water I love yogurt I'm trying to lose weight I HATE my toes I'm trying to gain weight I love the show "True Life" on MTV I loathe reality TV I have a MySpace I have taken a College Algebra math course I love doing crafts I can count from 1-10 in two or more different languages I need to paint my toenails I like the band The Postal Service My internet homepage is my email provider's page I never send e-mails anymore I have a cell phone & I don't think it's a piece of trash I have an iPod/MP3 player & a really kickass case for it, too I put my shoes in the dryer I own my own apartment or home I still watch the Price is Right and Jeopardy I've played Spin-the-bottle & I had to kiss this really ugly geeky kid! If I was a guy, I'd leave the toilet seat up too! I love to bargain shop I'm avoiding carbs I could live off of breakfast cereals I have/had a pet named something totally cliche like Spotty, Buddy, Fluffy or something similar I wish I could be a member of the opposite sex for one day I dislike standardized tests I hate 90s music I can't wear watches because I have too much electricity in my body I just don't wear watches because I think they're ugly I text in class or at work I often wake up in the middle of the night and have a midnight snack I can't WAIT for summer It gets really hot in summer where I live I once wore something that was 5 times too big for me in public I have been to Canada I live in Canada I hate it when guys leave the toilet seat up I have a really cool 6-CD changer stereo I own all the CDs from my favorite band I hate Myspace My favorite band has a "The" in front of it<-----A few of them do.  All I wear is band teeshirts I'm a loner I can speak another language fluently I like Dave Matthew's Band I practically live in my pajamas when I'm at home I love mashed potatoes I have seen my favorite band in concert more than twice I love string cheese I hate The White Stripes "Gothic" people scare me I'm homophobic I visit dictionary.com on a regular basis I'm going to buy Brokeback Mountain when it comes out on video I'm religious I want to move out of this stupid state all ready I have a certain order in which I put on my socks and shoes I just ate dinner I'm a morning person I want to kill the members of Fall Out Boy, or maybe just rip out their vocal chords I'm an Anime Nerd & proud I have homework to do tonight I have a High School diploma I'm home alone right now I love Chinese take-out I think sushi is disgusting & I've never even tried it It's raining right now I love listening to old-school Madonna I'm picky I've volunteered before in my community I'm always sore I hate back massages I give a mean back rub I'm interesed in acupuncture I love foreign food I listen to my iPod/MP3/CD player in class or in the office when I'm supposed to be paying attention or working I fall or have fallen asleep in class I would never wax my legs, even if you paid me I have tried Nair before & it hurt like hell and didn't work I suffer from sleep apnea Someone in my family or someone I know battled cancer and won I have a shirt hanging in my closet that hasn't been worn for over 2 years Snickers is my favorite candy bar I had an imaginary friend when I was younger I do my chores every day My favorite soda is Dr. Pepper Okay, this survey is going on for way too long I know the difference between "to", "two", and "too" & when is the appropriate time to use them I have/had birds I have been to Hawaii before I want to go on a Cruise I sleep with 3 or more pillows on my bed at one time I always read before going to bed I am/was in Honors, or Advanced English I passed Geometry the first time I took it  My nails are not painted I have a song stuck in my head right now I have watched at least one episode of "Friends" before Chocolate chip pancakes are pretty much the bomb I have no clue what IHOP is or stands for I'm currently avoiding someone I know morse code Facial hair hot! I've been dehydrated before I love to run! I have a crush on someone right now & they don't even know I exist Bolding surveys are calming I'm listening to a sad song right now I still use old-fashioned bar soap to wash myself in the shower I have an electric toothbrush I have taken professional studio photos with friends or family I have seen Steven King's movie IT When I was younger, my friends & I always used to make up dances and perform them I think I'm going deaf I'm getting bored of this stupid survey all ready I'm an accident just waiting to happen I'm so clumsy I have licked someone else's shoes before, for money or just because I'm always indecisive I have kickass bunny slippers I need a tissue I have watched the Disney movie Mulan before & loved it I have attended a tea party before I have seen a bear before, and it wasn't at the zoo I have walked in on someone having sex before The drawers on my dresser don't close all the way because they're so full I hate my 3rd period teacher I read Manga I have no clue what Manga is I used to collect beanie-babies way back when I sell or buy stuff on eBay I have been to a museum before I have plans tonight I like Spongebob Captain Hook is one of my favorite Disney villains I hate the movie The Sound of Music I need to charge my phone  I like elephants