#I would sleep for HOURS during the day because I was constantly exhausted and distracted

[irisbaggins]

I've heard other folks with ADHD, when they're off their meds, they get hyper or distracted and so on. Me, however... I get so fucking tired it's not even funny. I will just proceed to sleep all day, without fail.

So guess who forgot their meds most of this morning and now has to deal with extreme exhaustion until their meds kick in :/

[guzsdaily]

I don't know how to feel tired

Day 5 - Nov 10, 12.023

This is probably the weirdest title and uninteresting until now. I'm running out of ideas, ok? It is harder than I thought to have general ideas and themes for each day. And it doesn't help that a lot of themes would be something more aided to @guzscode than here.

Yesterday at the end of the day I felt something weird. I had just returned from the gym and eating lunch, and was preparing to go to bed. And then just in the time from getting out of my computer, brushing teeth, and getting on my bed, I started to feel insecure and in a bad mood in general.

Not knowing when to rest

For most of my life, which to be honest is not that must time knowing my age, I never felt a big necessity to rest myself, outside of sleeping on the night, I never had a nap during the evening or something like that, neither just laying out in bed without sleeping in general. (yes, "never resting" is a strong statement, of course I rested after something like gym class on school, and here and there I slept in the evening when I was younger and/or was exhausted or sick, but I'm talking in general.) During school, very rarely I did something like resting my head in the table or something like that, probably just slept in class one time when I was a child.

"Why?" Being sincere I don't know, but probably I never knew when I was feeling tired, even when my body was heavier and my mind wasn't able to process thoughts correctly, I didn't connect it to tiredness. I just continued my day the way I felted, going slow without forcing more than I could. Because of it, I didn't know also how to rest for most of my life. Never thought of something like "Maybe I should just lay on bed a little", or in school "I'm already done the work, maybe I could just rest my shoulders on the table".

Trying to learn

When high school - or whatever is the correct translation - started, my "sense of tiredness" started to build more. During the lockdown, with all the stress of online classes and my anxiety building more than ever, while trying to build something to my future learning programming, logo design, and all of that related to my past projects. The end of the day was exhausting to me, even in the days I procrastinated, because of the burning out of energy over time and the sense of not being productive flooded my mind.

Then lockdown was over, and I needed to go to school every evening now, in the start I was having anxiety attacks[?] - my chest always felt like it was being pushed against constantly, I had the sense of wanting to throw up, and also needed to consciously remember to breathe - in the public bus to the way of it, something which obviously consumed my energy. And my friends started noticing that, even more my girlfriend which I just started dating some months before the lockdown was over, because of that I started to finally connect that feeling of having the body heavier to tiredness.

A non-stopping mind

Now knowing that what I was feeling, I needed to rest, but there's a small problem: anxiety.

Every time I wanted to rest, my mind didn't, which just were even worse when some type of insecurity attacked, and I started to fell unproductive or that I was wasting time resting and needed to push on. The only time I could "rest" in some way, was when I was watching videos or distracting myself in some way - but because of it, I distracted so much, that some days I ended up procrastinating the entirety of it; Which I did today as the time of writing, because during lunch my laptop ran out of battery and I started feeling tired and now this and the last paragraph have a 4 hours gap on the time they were written - and wasn't able to take a nap or even just lay on bed to rest by myself.

I still don't know, but I'm trying

Probably the last paragraph ended up being sounding more frustrating than normal, and being honest it was, because I still don't know how or when to rest easily. Sometimes I'm able to fully recover my energies, other times I'm still feel tired after laying on my bed, and sometimes I am able to rest, but end up actually wasting time with it.

Thankfully, I have someone who really helps with this part of my life, which is my girlfriend. Because of her I am able to lay in bed and just thinking about being hugged with her really helps clear my mind, and when I'm actually with her, any other problems or anxiety goes away. But I don't want to be dependent on her, she also needs to rest herself after school, and taking care of me can be bad depending on the day, I don't want to exhaust her. The good news is that even just hugging a pillow and thinking of her does the job really well most of the time, and I also can rest with other things, even while working sometimes I can rest depending on what I'm doing and if it's enjoyable. Something which helped was how in these past months, or years, my anxiety and insecurity is getting better and lowering down, so the day in general is not too much exhausting as before.

Unfortunately, I don't know how to end up this entry, because I still don't have a solution to this problem. In the past years it got better, but there's now a definitive solution to me yet, and something like "just have a boyfriend/girlfriend/s.o./someone to hug" is not the best answer. I have to say that feeling tired and be able to rest is still a problem to me, and the only visible thing that I did and helped was trying to solve other problems like my anxiety and the constant feeling of being unproductive all the time.

That's probably not the best entry, but whatever, I have to admit that even procrastinating today, I'm tired.

---

Today's artists & creative things

Song: Partilhar - by Rubel - This song just helps me sometimes rest, and it is very special to me for obvious reasons if you know portuguese or translate the lyrics.

Copyright (c) 2023-present Gustavo "Guz" L. de Mello <contact.guz013@gmail.com>

This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International (CC BY-SA 4.0) License

[mindofharry]

In which bucky learns how to be a boyfriend.

a whole lot of fluff, clueless bucky and some cuddling, bucky is a sucker for cuddling! this is the last part of the losing you series 🥺 i’ve loved writing this - thank you for the continuous amount of love and support on it.

just a short little piece to finish it off!

losing you masterlist! happy reading!

Waking up early is something bucky does everyday. He doesn’t set an alarm or leave the curtains open before he goes to bed, he just wakes up at 6 in the morning naturally. You absolutely loathe it. Not only does the warmth and your beefy boyfriend leave the bed, bucky barnes does not know how to be quiet. You have to give it to him, he’s been working on a lot of things. His emotions, communication etc. But understanding that you don’t want to wake up at 6am isn’t one of the things he just can’t get over. Every night before bed for the last two weeks he’s asked you to wake up early with him for a coffee and a run, every night you say no. You need your beauty sleep, and you’re working from home at the moment so you’re taking every chance of lie in you can.

“Baby, please” Bucky pleaded, kissing behind your ear as you lay in bed. You were reading a report you wrote up today, and bucky just got back from a mission. You would’ve thought he’d be exhausted after fighting all of those bad guys, but if anything - bucky has more energy. You were kind of hoping he would drop the 6 am thing and just sleep in with you. But no, he’s just as adamant as two weeks ago. Maybe if you weren’t absolutely exhausted from the last couple of months at work you would do this coffee and run with him, you love spending time with bucky.

After the fight, bucky has been better. He hasn’t changed, he’s still the same stubborn and blunt man you met a year ago. But he’s learning every day, going to his therapy sessions, hanging out with friends. Bucky is doing a lot better. He tells you when you’ve hurt his feelings and encourages you to do the same, you communicate and talk through your problems no matter how loud it gets.

Bucky is dropping you to the bar, massaging you whenever you want, getting you cakes and buying you dinner.

And even the simple things where he kisses your temple, or tucks you into his side. Bucky barnes is everything you could ever want and more.

“Why do you want to go out at 6 am?” You giggled turning over to face him, bucky was now on his side his head leaning on his hand, so he was looking down at you. You wanted to know why he was adamant on getting you out at an ungodly hour.

“Just want to spend time with my girl, is that too much to ask for?” He said and you smiled softly, pecking his lips. Your hand goes to his shoulder as you shake your head.

“No it’s not” You said and then nodded to yourself. “Ok, we’ll go for a coffee and a run tomorrow morning” You said, giving in to his pleads. Buckys eyes widened and he immediately buried his head into your neck, his arm going across you waist. You laughed loudly as he kissed down your neck.

“Need to get some sleep then, you’re not going to like me at 6 am”

Bucky tutted at you placing the report that was resting on your stomach on your bedside table. “I like you all the time, no matter how early it is” He said and you smiled placing your lips on his.

“Even when i’m grumpy?” You asked in between kisses.

“Even when you’re grumpy”

With that, you both got out of the bed to do your night time routine. You had been staying over at buckys place for the last couple of days and before that bucky was staying at yours. You like to be around each other, you’re not dependent on each other but you do like to be together. Bucky is so comforted by your energy, always ready to listen, help and offer the best advice you possibly can.

You get out your tooth brush as place it under the tap, and then put the toothpaste on it. Bucky is beside you doing the same to his, you hit your hip of his sending him a little smile to comfort him. You know how he gets before bed. Before this, sex with you was distracting him from all the nightmares and ugly things of the night. Now that you’re together and not doing anything to distract himself from his own harming thoughts, he gets nervous.

Nervous that he might hurt you or injure himself. You know he would never intentionally hurt you, no matter how mean bucky can get he’d never lay a hand on. You’re very sure of that.

You spit the toothpaste out, running your tooth brush under the water.

“You doing ok?” You asked and bucky nodded, cleaning his own tooth brush. You raised an eyebrow leaning against the sink. “I’m just, a little anxious. Nothing new, baby” He said putting his tooth brush away. You pouted and brought him into a hug.

“How about some face masks?” You asked with a grin, before bucky could even blink you had two face masks in your hand and was pulling him over the toilet. You practically pushed you boyfriend onto the toilet seat, he wasn’t wearing a shirt (requested by you) so it made it easier to do the face mask.

You put yours on quickly, and then rushed back to a bored looking bucky.

“You’ll love it” You reassured opening up the packet. Bucky sighed “The things i do for you” He mumbled closing his eyes and placing his hands on either side of you waist.

You place the face mask on your boyfriends face, carefully spreading it over his cheeks and forehead. He had perfect skin, you would be forever jealous of it.

“Feels nice, doesn’t it?”

He nodded leaning into your hand a little bit, you could see he was a little sleepy. “Can we watch an episode of new girl before bed?” You asked and of course bucky nodded. He secretly really liked the show, but he would never tell you that. You already knew, that’s why you asked.

“We’ll wash these off after this episode and then head to bed. Sound good, buck?” You asked and bucky nodded placing a hand on your shoulder guiding you back into the bedroom and grabbing the remote off your dresser. He was really quiet, which was something you’d have to get used to. It was just before bed when he got super quiet and you had to do all the talking. You didn’t mind one bit, bucky is a very good listener. He could listen to you talk for hours on end.

During the episode, bucky lay his head in your lap. You massaged his scalp, sometimes bucky reminds you of a little golden retriever.

“This part is funny” You said and bucky nodded agreeing rubbing at his eyes. You could tell he was tired.

“Why don’t we go wash these off and finish the episode after we get back from our run?”

Bucky sighed and stretched standing up, and then holding out his hands to help you up. You walked in front of him, bucky slapped your ass. He just couldn’t help it, your ass looks amazing in those shorts. You giggled and hit his shoulder.

You washed both of your faces and squished buckys cheeks together, he had a nice glow about him recently.

Bucky would definitely say it’s because of you.

You would say it’s because bucky is actually taking his mental health seriously.

“I love you” Bucky said and you stopped drying his face. You’ve said it before, but bucky had never really understood it until now. You doing all of this for him made him feel so happy, so warm and loved inside. The fact that you would stop watching your favourite show for him, give up your time and good face masks for him and constantly reassure and care for him.

Bucky barnes loves you so fucking much and he just can’t comprehend it, but he’s working on it.

“I love that you’re willing to wake up early for me, and to sit up and cuddle me when you’re obviously tired. I love that you’re always around, ready with advice, i love that you give the best hugs and know the right thing to say all the time” He said you blushed placing a hand on his cheek.

“I love you, Y/N. And i hate that i treated you so badly. I love you, and i’ll never love anyone the way i love you” He said and you bit your lip to try and stop the tears.

“I love you more, james”

And with that you both settled down and went to bed, you turned the tv off and looked over at bucky. “Shirt off or on?” You teased and bucky smirked.

“Is that even a question? Definitely off”

[forcefullyawake]

This is for @cupcake-rogue’s like a virgin collab!

Denki x F! Reader

Warnings: None, tooth rotting fluff, and a suggestive ending. 

Summary: Sometimes the right person runs into you. Literally. Other times it’s a hero who’s not watching where he’s going.

WC: 1.9k

Denki Kaminari doesn’t do being nervous. 

He’s a hero, a pro, top ten. He worked his ass off during UA, his internships, did everything right, shed his jokester ways, and in the first hero rankings he was in? He placed higher thank even Bakugo. He’s impressive, he thinks, tall and blonde, having grown into himself after those first few awkward years. The point is he’s not nervous around women anymore, doesn’t stutter over his words or make inappropriate comments. He’s cool, mature, a catch for any woman. 

Until, that is, he quite literally runs into you.

“I’m fucking late,” Denki announces to nobody- it’s not like anybody stayed over the night before. It’s a true testament to who he is now that his morning routine can be essentially cut in half and almost nothing goes wrong during it. His hero costume is not only easy to get on, but something that works well with his usual wardrobe, so that he can be out the door in under twenty minutes for times like these. 

“Shit, shit, shit,” He mutters to himself, finally getting all the buttons into place right when the elevator opens up to the ground floor. It’s impressive, actually, that he manages to run into you. With a quirk like his, he’s learned to be constantly aware of his surroundings so nobody gets shocked accidentally. Today, however, he’s not thinking straight and runs directly into you, knocking you (and your paperwork) to the ground. 

He stops dead in his tracks, wanting more than anything to start apologizing, helping you pick things up. You know, things any normal person or hero would do but he finds himself stuck in place. You’re… hot, for lack of a better word. He’ll think of some later. He can’t put his finger on it, but there’s something about you that has him immediately bewitched- mind, body, and soul, just like that. You’re standing now, a scowl on your face and- hey you’re snapping your fingers for some reason, maybe he should listen in.

“Hello? Is anybody any there?” Your voice is understandably irritated, looking him up and down quickly before huffing. “Whatever. Watch where you’re going next time, jerk.” You spin away from him, taking his hopes and dreams right with you. But you walk into his apartment building, and through the glass doors that stand between you he sees you walk to the manager- so you’re either gonna live there or work there. Either way he has a second chance. 

His phone buzzes incessantly in his pocket, and a quick glance tells him it’s Mineta, demanding to know where he is- is he okay? Was there a villain attack? Denki shoots off a quick text saying he’s just overslept before hurrying on his way. 

It’s not until later, when he’s finally in his office, that Denki realizes how he was feeling. 

For the first time, in a very long time, Denki Kaminari was nervous. All because of you.

“Stupid hero, not watching where he was stupidly going,” You mutter under your breathe before plastering on a smile when your new apartment manager steps into view. God, this place is so nice. You can’t wait to move in. You have to dropped off the signed leasing forms and then give the place one last look around before the moving trucks start coming in. 

The meeting goes smoothly, which helps ease whatever leftover tension you have from the morning. The keys are in your hands, the boxes are piling up, and your neighbor is out for the day it looks like so you can play music as loudly as you dare. Your day goes just about as well as a moving day can. You get the important things set up first- bed, tv, coffee maker. The creature comforts for when you’re inevitably exhausted tomorrow. You hear movement in the other apartment, frowning at the shared wall with how clearly you can. Hm, that might be annoying. Still, you don’t plan on turning down the music unless asked. 

Almost like clockwork you hear a knock on your door. You pause to lower the volume to a more acceptable level before opening the door, ready to introduce yourself and apologize, make a good first impression and all that only to see-

“You!” You raise an accusatory finger- at the hero who knocked you over and did nothing this morning. “You can’t be my neighbor!”

“I-” He starts, having the good sense to at least look a little sheepish now. “I’m sorry?” His hand comes up to scratch at the back of his head, making him look even more nervous but you can see his eyes looking over your shoulder to peer into your apartment. 

“Yeah, you should have said that this morning,” It holds less venom than you want, especially when you get distract by the muscles his actions put on display. Huh. Your new neighbor is incredibly built. You shake your head, trying to clear your thoughts. “Again, whatever. I turned the music down. Goodnight.” You go to close the door but his voice stops you. 

“Hold on, I wasn’t going to ask you to turn it down,” He starts, finally looking away from your apartment, “I liked it. And maybe you can play it for me now? I could help you put stuff away? Make up for this morning?”

You should say no. You’re already getting tired, you have stuff beyond packing to do tomorrow, and it’s stupid to let a complete stranger into your house. Even if he’s a pro hero. And even if he’s cute. You should tell him to get lost. Instead, you open your mouth to hear yourself say,

“Sure, come on in.”

Denki can’t believe his luck when you open your door a little wider to let him in. 

He was so sure you were going to say no- hell, even you looked a little confused when yes came out of your mouth, but he wasn’t going to question it too much. Your place already looked a lot cozier than his, with decorations half in the boxes, even. You have photos up on the walls already, pictures of people who look like you too and people who look like your friends. His own apartment is pretty sparse, just a place he can sleep and eat in. 

“Could you help me in the kitchen?” Your voice carries through the space, having left him behind. “I have some stuff that need to go onto the top shelf.” He follows blindly, biting down so hard on his lower lip it almost bleed when he sees you. You’re not doing anything scandalous, just putting dishes away but the way your arms are raised over your head have given him a glimpse at your skin where your shirt has ridden up. He can feel the blood rush south in his body, embarrassingly. 

“Stop ogling and start helping,” You snap over your shoulder, frowning at him. That snaps him out of his daze, not wanting to leave too soon despite having another early morning shift. He grabs the box you point at, and starts to place the mugs on the top shelf. They look like gifts, he thinks, all of them printed with far too many places for one person to have visited. 

“Your friends get you these?” He asks, trying to sound casually interested, not too desperate, “Or a boyfriend?” You snort at him.

“Friends, mostly, and some family,” You wait a long moment before continuing, “No boyfriends, though.” Denki internally heaves a sigh of relief. 

“I don’t get out much, with my job. But I like to pretend I do,” You say, eyeing the mugs wistfully. “How about you? You travel a lot?”

“That requires taking time off,” Denki says, frowning a little as he tries to remember his last actually relaxing day off. “But you know what they say- if you love your job, you’ll never work a day in your life!”

“Oh, bullshit,” You snort out, abandoning the box you’ve been unpacking all together. “I love my job, a lot, but I have worked some days.” The tension is broken after that, with Denki asking you to elaborate and you trying to play coy until the rants just burst out of you. It’s not until your stomach gives a loud grumble that you realize neither of you have been unpacking but just talking for the past hour and a half. 

It’s just late enough that a normal dinner is out of the question, but maybe you could order something in?

“I know a good ramen place that delivers here,” Denki volunteers, grinning sheepishly. 

“Are you sure your quirk isn’t mind reading?” You tease him, just to watch him laugh. He’s pretty hot when he laughs, you think, then immediately try to squash the thought. Dinner first, crushing on a hero later.

Dinner is ordered.

Denki’s right, the ramen is good and it comes quick. The two of you slurp your soup in silence, the awkwardness returning from before. Denki seems almost unable to look at you now, for some reason. He focuses in so hard on his bowl you’re surprised it doesn’t go up in smoke. You want to ask him about it but you can’t figure out how to phrase the question. 

For his part, Denki is having an internal meltdown. When you lean forward to take a sip of the broth your shirt pulls forward just enough that he can see the swell of your breasts. It shouldn’t affect him this much, he’s been around enough, but there’s something about the white of your bra that makes his head spin, makes him feel like a virgin all over again. 

“Are you okay?” You ask him the same moment he blurts out-

“I can see your bra, I’m sorry, don’t kick me out,” All in one breath. You’re silent for a moment, and then another, and another, and Denki regrets every choice he’s made in his life until now that brought him here. You keep not saying anything and a million and one scenarios run through his head, each one worse than the next. Oh my god, what if you tell people? He’ll be known as the pervert hero, he won’t be able to work in Japan anymore, he’ll have to someplace like America or-

“Would you like to see more of it?” Your voice is soft, shy as your hands twist in the bottom of your shirt, looking at him with wide eyes. He’s sure he’s misheard you because there’s no way you’re offering what he thinks you are. 

“More?” He manages to croak out. You don’t reply, but your shirt keeps going upwards. Your shirt continues upwards until it’s off of you and Denki’s brain has finally, truly short circuited. 

You’re not sure what’s possessing you to be so bold- maybe the conversation, maybe the way the food has made you comfortably warm and a little drowsy, maybe you just wanna see what he’ll do next. It’s cute, endearing even, how his eyes can’t figure out where to look. He can’t decide if he wants to throw himself at you or away from you. 

“More,” You agree, moving closer to him on the couch, taking the bowl from his hands to set on the table in front of you. Denki stops breathing as you move even closer to him, your face swimming in front of his eyes. “Tell me if I should stop?”

“Never,” He breathes, pressing his lips to yours, tasting like a promise, sending a shiver down your spine. It’s so easy to fall into him, like you’ve known him forever, like this is as easy as breathing. 

It’s sunrise, somehow. Denki is still there, blissfully unaware as you watch him sleep. Maybe it was a good thing he didn’t watch where he was going the previous morning. 

Now, though, you wouldn’t mind running into him again. 

[tyongvc]

— long day ; j.jh ; 1.9k

[!] unprotected sex (stay safe !) ; fingering ; daddy kink (only mentioned twice lol) ; dirty talk || wc ; 1.9k

you needed him.

at the moment, you were watching your boyfriend learn the new choreography for their comeback and it was the reason why you had your knees pulled against you chest, trying to hide your neediness.

there also was quite the anger and jealousy as you watched one of the new choreographers constantly correct jaehyun and touch him. you didn’t know why you were so jealous suddenly but you couldn’t control yourself.

jaehyun quickly came to the couch you were sitting on and planted a quick kiss on your forehead and whispered: “we’re done soon. one last rehearsal and we can go home.”

“alright. don’t rush, though, take all the time you need, baby”, you told him and smiled up to him. it kind of was a façade because you didn’t tell him anything of your true feelings. you tried to hide it as much as possible.

as you had come to the dance studio right after a long day at work. you were exhausted and just wanted to eat dinner, let jaehyun rearrange your guts and sleep after cuddling with him.

so, a part of you didn’t want him to take all the time he needs, you just wanted to go home with him. there was nothing else you needed in that moment.

well, except him fucking your brain’s out.

“alright, you guys can go home”, the choreographer announced and you got up quickly to finally grab all your things. jaehyun quickly said goodbye to his members and grabbed your hand to go out of the building.

“are you tired, love?”, he asked you softly when you finally entered the minivan with which you two would use to go home to your place. you only hummed as a yes and leaned on his shoulder to close your eyes for a second.

when you opened them again, you were in jaehyun’s arms and he was carrying you to your apartment. he didn’t mind that even though he was exhausted as well.

“i already ordered food on our way home, it’ll be here soon. do you want me to run you a bath?”, he asked you.

“jae… baby, please. i should be taking care of you. you were so busy with practicing, i should be the one here”, you told him. you felt guilty as you were watching him practice for around two hours and you knew that he was locked in that practice room for so many hours.

“don’t worry, i’m good. now… what do you think about that bath?”, he smirked and you nodded. “open the door if the delivery arrives before i’m back.” jaehyun disappeared in the bathroom.

you quickly opened the door as the bell rang, took the food by the delivery and paid the guy. jaehyun had ordered pizza and you went to the kitchen to put everything ready to eat. you waited for him to come back; you were slightly impatient for him to come back. more, you wanted to skip dinner and have him fuck you over. yet, you didn’t have the guts to ask him because you knew how much he needed to rest.

“babe, did the pizzas arrive?”, he yelled out of the bathroom to which you yelled a ‘yes!’ back. he quickly came to the kitchen to sit down. “let’s eat then, the bath will be ready in just a few minutes.”

you couldn’t wait for it.

--

after both of you finished eating, jaehyun had pulled you to the bathroom and had helped you to take off your clothes. jaehyun sat down in the tub and you immediately sat down in front of him, your back was against his chest. you immediately relaxed in his arms.

“feels good?”, he asked you with a low voice, slowly massaged your shoulders as you sank down in the water as his touch felt so good. you only nodded and closed your eyes.

“so, so good”, you barely could speak as your body relaxed with every single second he kept on massaging your sore body. your mouth widened in a small ‘o’ when you felt his finger slowly sneaked down to your core and started massaging over your clit.

“j-jaehyun… w-what?”, you couldn’t even ask him what he was doing when you felt his finger enter your cunt, slowly moving it in and out.

„i’m just trying to help you relax. now spread your legs and try to tell me all about your day”, he asked you and you moaned out as you felt the stretch of two fingers of his in your pussy.

“baby, you’re so tight. am i not fucking you well enough?”, he asked you, riling you up by talking to you. after such a long relationship he knew you like the back of his hand. you couldn’t answer because of how your body went tense. the pleasure you felt was making your mind blurry but you didn’t complain at all.

“i asked you something, baby. it’s very rude that you don’t answer, right?”, he grunted into you ear, his deep voice made you shiver. you loved your boyfriend’s duality: usually he was a soft dom, telling you how much he loves you and how precious you are. then again, whenever he was in the mood, he could put you back in your place, gripping your jaw tightly to make you look at him.

this time, he was really in the mood and his fingers continued to stretch your cunt for his cock. your head fell down on his shoulder, eyes closed and your moans started to get louder with each second. there were curse words mixed up with your moans and he loved these sounds so much.

“feels good?”, he breathed into your ear and you whole body tensed up, your toes curled as your coil snapped and you slowly calmed down. you quickly nodded. as soon as you calmed down, you grabbed your shampoo to wash your hair. however, jaehyun took your hands and put them down to massage the shampoo into your hair. you immediately closed your eyes and relaxed even more.

he really knew how to help you relax from a long day at work. right after you two finished your bath and were ready to go to bed, he pulled you closer to him again. “baby, do you really think i’m going to let you sleep in peace?”, he asked you with a low voice. you hadn’t thought about that; you only wanted to sleep and thought that jaehyun felt the same for the night as he seemed exhausting.

“jaehyun…” – “that is not my name, baby.”

“daddy.”

he smirked and pinned you against the wall to have you fully under his control. one of his hands was gripping your waist tightly, the other one was forcing your head to look at him. jaehyun softly planted a kiss on your lips before he again pulled your top off your body.

“exactly, baby”, he murmured into your ear, making you shiver because of the way he was talking to you. you absolutely loved his voice; you loved listening to him talk, sing or even moan into your ear like he always does whenever he was fucking you hard. “that is my name.”

“daddy, please. don’t tease me like that”, you whined when he started kissing down your neck, the soft actions making you feel so good and content. your eyes fluttered closed.

“i thought of punishing you for using curse words but you’re just so adorable, love”, he cooed, making you look away because you got shy.

just a few seconds later, he put his hands under your thighs and carried you to the bed, practically throwing you on the soft mattress. quickly, he laid down on you before he pinned your wrists against the pillows. you had no idea what he was going to do to you, yet you were so excited for it.

then again, you suddenly had the sight of that choreographer from tonight in mind, your whole body filled with jealousy once again. you immediately tried to get his grip around your waist loose and did your best to turn you two around so you would sit on his crotch.

jaehyun had a small smirk on his lips but didn’t do anything. yet. he wanted to see what you were going to do. you leaned down, started kissing down his neck and even started sucking on his skin – you tried your best to leave them to spots where they would be easily hidden.

“so, you think i’m going to let you act all bratty and possessive, babe?”, he asked you with a groggy voice, you knew exactly that he actually enjoyed it. however, his dominant persona made his blood boil as his anger got the best of him.

“no?”, your answer sounded more like a question and it made him giggle, but it was a rather ironic giggle. jaehyun slowly pulled his jogging pants and as soon as you sat on his lap again, you moaned out because you felt his hard dick right against your core.

“you’re so sensitive, love. it’s cute, though”, jaehyun laughed deeply. “you’re so adorable, i’m so in love with you, baby.” your whole body warmed up as you felt nothing but his love. that quickly ended, though. jaehyun managed to distract you and turn you two over again. he quickly thrusted up into you, making you scream his name as his cock stretched you out so well.

he was very quick to start a fast and hard pace, he loved to fuck you into nothing but tears and whines. if you didn’t use the safe word, he would manhandle you to the point you could pass out.

your cunt clenched around his cock, making him groan loudly while he was nibbling on your neck. just a few moments later, he felt you cum around him.

yet, he didn’t stop. he continued thrusting in and out of your core and the overstimulation made your body shake. you didn’t use your safe word though – this all still felt too good to be true. your eyes rolled back and closed shortly after; your nails rammed into his back.

“feels good, huh?”, he grunted into your ear, which made you cry out his name again. you couldn’t speak, that’s how good you felt. and jaehyun understood that so he decided to go easy on you tonight; knowing that you were exhausted as well, he decided to go a little slower to make you feel more loved.

jaehyun being slow during sex was a rare occurrence. however, when he was slow, he thought of everything – kissing you slowly, fucking you slowly – and you absolutely loved that.

“i love you so much”, he grunted into your ear; just a few more thrusts and he painted your walls in white. the way his cum spurted into you made you moan and again, you convulsed around him and came once more.

as soon as your breathing calmed down, he pulled out, making you hiss at the emptiness but you quickly got used to it.

“now i have to shower again”, you whined to which he just laughed.

“alright, let’s go then.”

“no, definitely not. then we’d end up fucking again and i’m tired”, you giggled as you quickly tried to get out of the bed, ran to the bathroom and locked as you had to laugh. you just loved him so much.

[nugnthopkns]

dance me to the end of love (iii)

word count: 4.3k

warnings: fem!oc, cursing, potential percy jackson & the olympians spoilers, alcohol consumption, motion sickness and vomiting

series masterpost: here

a/n: this took me a hot sec to finish but here it is! there's a dumb little latin joke in here but that's just because i'm a nerd lmao

Ryan is certainly giving Bette a run for her money in the best friend department.

Magdalene has no intentions of usurping her best friend, but Ryan is quickly becoming the person she talks to most frequently. It started on social media but quickly moved to regular texting, both of them being twenty-five and capable of communicating through more normal channels. The text thread between them isn’t indicative of their newfound friendship – it looks like they’ve been friends since high school. At any given moment at least three conversations are going on, and Magdalene regularly sends him random updates throughout the day. Ryan likes hearing about any interesting artefacts she encounters at work so she keeps mental notes to tell him during their frequent phone calls.

Despite talking to him almost constantly, Magdalene hasn’t seen Ryan since they grabbed lunch at Barn Owl nearly two weeks ago. The lake house trip is a couple days out, and she’s been busy trying to get all her ducks in a row. At work, the current project is coming to an end and Magdalene will be sad to see it go – it’s the first thing she’s been on from start to finish. She’s got a neighbour coming to spend time with Caligula while she’s away so he doesn’t get too upset. Though the days are passing by in a haze as she tries to get ready, Magdalene is excited to get away for a little bit. It’s been a few years since she’s left Denver for more than a night, electing to skip on Bette’s previous vacation invites, and it will be nice to slow down. Life is moving at a comfortable pace, but having some time to pause and breathe will keep Magdalene from feeling too overwhelmed.

Halfway through her last day of work, Magdalene gets a text from Ryan that makes her nearly double over in laughter.

Julius Caesar walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a Martinus please!” The bartender replies “Don’t you mean a Martini?” Caesar shakes his head and says “If I wanted double I would have said so.”

It takes her a minute to catch her breath, which piques June’s curiosity. Magdalene recites the joke and her boss rolls her eyes and shakes her head, but does let out a chuckle.

June didn’t think it was funny, but I did. Thank you for making today infinitely better. You riding with us tomorrow?

Magdalene tucks her phone back into her purse, determined to remain focused for the last few hours, and misses the reply telling her that Ryan won’t be riding with Bette, Tyson, and herself, but rather with Cale and his girlfriend to leave enough space for all the gear getting brought. She doesn’t see it until she’s walking across the parking lot to her car and it fills her with a sadness that doesn’t make much sense. He’ll be there for the entire week, so does it matter that he’ll be in a different car for the four hour drive? Magdalene has a sinking suspicion about why she’s upset, but she pushes it down. There’s no space in your life for a relationship right now, she reminds herself as she unlocks the door to her apartment. Caligula is waiting patiently at the door and distracts her thoughts from the handsome man with the kind smile that’s been all she can think about recently.

The cat is incredibly perceptive and knows the regular routine is going to change, making him particularly clingy. He follows Magdalene as she finishes packing, meowing and begging for pets, and she considers bailing on her friends. Caligula has mild separation anxiety and Magdalene doesn’t go away often partly because of it – though another reason is her homebody nature. Only the thought of seeing Ryan keeps her from hanging all her clothes back up.

“Don’t worry little boots,” she coos, “I won’t be gone long. Maria is going to check on you while I’m away, and I’ll be home before you know it.”

It seems ridiculous to speak to her pet as though it’s a child, but Magdalene knows Caligula comprehends what she’s saying. He’s always been smart, and the two of them share a bond that’s hard to explain. She picks him up, puts him in the pocket of her hoodie, and they spend the rest of the night packing and dancing along to the radio.

☼☼☼☼

Bette forgot to mention that the road to the lake house is winding, and Magdalene spends the entire ride with her head between her knees. Motion sickness is something that unfortunately plagues her during journeys longer than a couple of hours and she wishes she would have thought to take anti-nausea medication before leaving the house. Tyson tries to crack a joke about her being a bad passenger, but his girlfriend swats his arm and passes her friend a water bottle with a concerned smile. The two of them speak in hushed tones, almost certainly for Magdalene's benefit, and she does her best not to throw up on the floor of Tyson’s car. After what feels like two decades the vehicle rolls to a stop at the end of a gravel path.

“Mags, we’re here,” Bette says softly, praying that her friend will begin to feel better after stretching her legs and feeling firm ground underneath her.

There’s an unintelligible groan from Magdalene, but she rises out of the car and stumbles into the house. Tyson and Bette insist that she rest and they’ll handle the unloading of the car, so she crawls into one of the empty beds and falls asleep as soon as her head touches the pillow. It’s a dreamless slumber, one fuelled by the pure exhaustion of battling illness while travelling, and when she awakes hours later Magdalene feels oddly refreshed. Her energy level is still relatively low, but she knows that intaking food won’t be an issue.

Padding down the stairs as quiet as possible in an effort to not break the peaceful atmosphere, Magdalene is met with a quiet house. She’s utterly confused – she didn’t sleep long enough to miss dinner and judging by the way the sun is low in the final car full of people should be arriving any minute. For a moment she thinks the group left her in the mountains alone, but then the sound of a trunk closing breaks the silence.

“I fucking told you bro, you should have let me drive!”

Ryan’s voice echoes in Magdalene's ears and her heart skips a beat. She didn’t realize how much she had missed him or how excited she is to see him. Despite everything inside of her saying she should run into his arms Magdalene stays put in the kitchen, running the tap to get a glass of water. She focuses on the mountain on the other end of the lake, framing the setting sun and creating a postcard ready photo. The camera app on her phone is open and angles for the best shot are found. Ryan tumbles through the door a second later, arms filled to the brim with luggage and bags of food.

He drops them the second he sees her, running up behind her and lifting her off the ground. “Mags! Cale almost hit a deer!”

The shock of Ryan’s onslaught of affection catches her off guard, and Magdalene shakes her hand, forcing the picture to turn out as nothing but a blur.

“No hello?” She laughs as Ryan lets her feet touch down on the wooden floor. “It’s the least you could give me after destroying my chance of getting a National Geographic worthy picture.”

He smiles but doesn’t let his hands drop from their perch on her waist. “There’s six more days for you to nail it. I’ll even help if you ask.”

Other bodies enter the house then, causing Magdalene to slink away from Ryan’s touch even though it was the last thing she wanted to do. They’re simply friends, and she doesn’t want Bette to get any ideas. The last thing Magdalene needs on her plate right now is her best friend forcing her to paint a custom denim jacket with Ryan’s number across the back. “I can’t believe you almost hit a deer,” Tyson sighs in disbelief.

“It wasn’t even close,” Cale grumbles, picking up his bags and stomping off to find a place to claim as his own the next couple of days. A petite redhead follows after him, giving a small wave to those in the kitchen before scurrying away. When she asks, Ryan tells Magdalene the girl’s name is Livy, and that she’s Cale’s girlfriend from back home.

Everyone shrugs at his moodiness and disperses. Bette and Tyson stay in the kitchen to make dinner, Ryan goes to claim the final room, and Magdalene slips outside to sit on the patio furniture. The sun has dropped drastically in the past five minutes, causing the air to chill. She wraps her arms tighter around her legs and watches a pair of birds fly over the lake below. It’s so peaceful, a complete one-eighty from the insanity of her life in Denver, and Magdalene thinks about never leaving. She knows it’s impossible, but as she closes her eyes and listens to the quiet laughter of her friends inside the idea seems like a pretty good one.

The sliding door creaks open and Ryan goes through as quietly as possible. He tosses a sweater in Magdalene’s direction as he walks over, plopping down beside her on the small couch.

“Thanks,” she mumbles, slipping the fabric over her head. “I didn’t realize how cold it had actually gotten.”

He smiles in response and shuffles his body a little closer to create extra warmth. Magdalene leans into him, trying to appear casual even though her heart is beating rapidly, and pulls on the strings of the sweater Ryan gave her.

“So, are you excited for this week?”

It’s more awkward than she thought it would be – seeing him in person again, especially since they’ve been texting almost constantly, and the words kind of stick in her throat.

“Honestly? Now that I’m here I am, but I was a little leery about taking time off,” Ryan explains, detailing how he’s trying to improve some aspects of his two-way play and is worried his progress will plateau. Magdalene understands and shares her own worries about taking time off work even if her boss encouraged it.

After catching up quickly and running out of things to say, the pair of them sit in silence watching the sun set until they’re called inside for dinner. It’s nice to just exist, especially with Ryan beside her, and Magdalene feels her heart sink as they separate and he goes to make sure Cale isn’t actually mad at him.

☼☼☼☼

It storms the first two days at the lake house, forcing everyone to stay inside. Tyson complains about how he has less time to drive the boat that came with the property but the others take it in stride. Magdalene spends most of the time reading for pleasure, something she hasn’t been able to do much of the past few years, and Ryan joins her for large chunks of the time. It turns out that he too is an avid reader, and the two of them discuss their favourite novels and series while the other four play board games.

“So you’re telling me you wish Annabeth would have joined the Hunters of Artemis?” Magdalene shrieks in shock, almost knocking the wine out of her glass as her arms flail in disbelief.

“I think it made sense for her to,” Ryan defends.

“But she’s perfect for Percy!”

He sticks to his guns. “I’m not saying she isn’t. I just think that at the time the offer was presented it was the most logical choice. You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about what would have happened if she did.”

She ducks her head in defeat because she had imagined it, on many occasions in fact. When reading the series for the first time in middle school Magdalene had desperately hoped Annabeth would choose the Hunters over Camp Half-Blood, gaining the family she herself never was privy to. They return to reading quietly beside each other, occasionally knocking elbows when trying to turn a page.

Tuesday brings sunshine and clear skies, which means Tyson is trying to corral everyone into the boat as soon as they’re up. Magdalene tries her hardest to get out of it but her pleas fall on deaf ears.

“You’ll be fine, stop being such a wimp,” Cale jests. She knows that he’s just anxious to soak up some sun, but the words hurt more than Magdalene would have liked them to.

Livy swats her boyfriend across the chest. “Enough! If she doesn’t want to come she doesn’t have to.” The smaller girl sends her a kind smile before speaking low enough that only Magdalene can hear her. “I know your book is just getting good and you look like the kind of person who needs alone time to function properly. Enjoy yourself.”

Seemingly excused from the day’s festivities, Magdalene gives a sheepish wave before climbing the small hill to the house. Ryan meets her halfway and is appalled when he hears of her plans.

“Nope, I don’t think so. You’re not leaving me alone to be the ultimate third wheel!”

He has her off the ground and over his shoulder in a millisecond, jogging lightly to catch up with the rest of the group. Magdalene’s laugh bounces off the tree lined shore, and she’s too busy having fun shrieking at Ryan to complain about being forced to spend all day on a boat away from her book. Tyson peels away from the dock before she can regret tagging along, and Bette tugs Magdalene to the bow.

The two girls chat quietly, giggling and sipping on the mimosas they made earlier. Magdalene isn’t a huge day drinker, but Bette makes sure there’s more orange juice than champagne to make her feel less guilty. Livy joins them a while later after becoming sick of the boys and their shenanigans. It’s nice to hang out with a group of girls that aren’t competing for the top spot in a class, Magdalene decides, and she revels in the stories they tell of going to hockey games and babysitting the children of players so they can catch a break. Twinges of jealousy creep up at the wonderful family dynamic the Avalanche seem to have, but she stomachs them. She reminds herself that other people deserve to have support systems and excuses herself from the conversation.

Magdalene slides into the free space beside Ryan, and without thinking he wraps an arm around her shoulder. It feels so natural that she wonders if it’s how he greets all his friends, but the looks of shock and Tyson and Cale’s faces say otherwise. After a bit more cruising they find a small bay to anchor in for a while. The sun had climbed to the middle of the sky and is unbearably warm, leaving everyone no choice but to jump into the water to cool off. Magdalene does her best to float peacefully a short distance away from the group but is somehow brought into a splashing war because the teams aren’t equal.

Eventually the constant barrage of water chills her to the bone, and Magdalene swims back to the boat. She watches from the sidelines and cheers for her old teammates with a towel wrapped snugly around her. Ryan breaks from the group too, insisting it isn’t fair to have teams on unequal strength. Once dry, he picks up the baseball cap he brought and places it delicately on Magdalene’s head.

“Your cheeks are starting to go pink and I don’t want you to burn,” he explains, passing her a bottle of sunscreen as well.

“Thanks Ry.”

They muse about the idyllic beauty of the scene in front of them until everyone rejoins them. For reasons unbeknownst to Magdalene Tyson is in a rush to get back to the house, which leads to him driving very fast and a little erratically. The contents of her stomach threaten to come up but she holds them down, tightening her grip on the leather seat. A wave crests and Tyson hits it head on, causing the boat to lurch and rock. Magdalene knows it’s going to happen before it does and leans over the side to save a mess from being created. All the alcohol and food she’d consumed throughout the day is no longer in her body, and heat creeps up the back of her neck. She’s embarrassed – what twenty-five year old gets sea sick?

“Are you okay?” Ryan asked, not bothering to hide the concern in his voice.

She tries to smile but it comes out more like a grimace. “I just, uh, get motion sick really easily.” Bette passes her a water bottle and she drinks it quickly, eager to get the taste out of her mouth.

Ryan lets Magdalene curl into his side the rest of the way home, and rubs comforting circles on her back to ease her discomfort, doing his best to ignore the stares from his friends.

☼☼☼☼

The trip comes to an end much more quickly than Magdalene would have liked. Tomorrow morning they’ll pack up and drive back to Denver, returning to their normal hectic schedules. Cale and Livy are heading back to Alberta for the rest of the summer, and Bette and Tyson will be going for a visit as well. She’s heard Ryan mention going home in passing, which most likely means he doesn’t have plans to stay. Magdalene will be all alone in Colorado, but she’s used to it. The only issue being friends with professional athletes is that they leave. She’s been dealing with the loss since Bette and Tyson got together years ago – having them around as her support system most of the year and then them disappearing for a couple of months.

Not wanting to think about how soon she’ll be alone, Magdalene heads outside and starts a campfire. It’s a skill she picked up as a kid and it has come in handy over the years. The newspaper crinkles under the flame from the lighter, and soon the kindling is burning well. Everyone else is still inside, cleaning up from dinner and preparing for one last night in paradise. She places a few blocks of wood in the fire pit once there’s a good enough flame and curls up in a chair, lost in thought about what comes next. There’s rustling from somewhere behind her but she pays it no mind, assuming it’s a small animal wandering through the forest.

“Can I offer you some company?” a voice says softly, waiting for a response. The movement wasn’t a raccoon but in fact Ryan, and Magdalene gestures at the chair beside her with a smile.

He passes her a glass of white wine, which she takes with an appreciative hum. They sit in silence for a moment, admiring the beauty of the setting sun. “I’m going to miss it,” Ryan sighs, leaning back in his chair and extending his legs.

She nods. “Me too. It’s so quiet up here. Denver gets too loud sometimes.”

“Tell me about it. I’m not just going to miss the lake though, it’s also lounging around and not having to worry about hockey. And you.”

The ending comes out rushed, and Magdalene isn’t sure she heard him correctly. “Me?”

Ryan looks at her like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Yes you. Why wouldn’t I? You’re funny, smart, and catch all of my West Wing references. There’s no one who gets me quite like you, even back home.”

It takes her by surprise. They’ve only known each other for a few months, and only really started associating after the party at Bette and Tyson’s. There has to be somebody who knows him better than she does. When she voices her opinion Ryan just scoffs, saying that people treat him as one-dimensional because he plays hockey. Somehow the conversation shifts to Magdalene, and when she lets it slip she gets lonely in Denver without her friends, Ryan asks the question she’s been dreading.

“So why don’t you get a boyfriend?”

“I can’t just get a boyfriend because my friends are gone,” she laughs, but there’s an edge to it, like she’s unsure of where this will go and how to question the follow ups.

He rolls his eyes. “I know that, but like, I don’t know, wouldn’t it be nice to not be alone all the time?”

It would be, Magdalene thinks, but she just shrugs. “I guess I’m not looking for a relationship right now. I just finished school and for the first time in a long time I can focus on myself.” She leaves out the part where Ryan gives her butterflies and that if he asked she’d probably jump headfirst into a relationship with him.

The topic is dropped then because Tyson comes out of the house screaming about the night is going to be wild because it’s their last together for a while. Magdalene and Ryan share a look of mild panic, but both of them are itching to have fun with friends so they raise their glasses in salute before finishing them in one gulp.

Magdalene drinks more than she should and wakes in the morning with a killer hangover. It seems that no one else is better off though, all stumbling around looking for Advil and coffee like it’s going to be their last meal. Packing up takes a bit longer than expected, but they’re still out before the official checkout time. There’s a bit of discourse on who Magdalene will travel home with. Bette wants her in Tyson’s car, no doubt to talk about how close her and Ryan seem to be, but Cale offers to bring her with them. His reasoning is that Ryan is driving him and Livy directly to the airport, and having the front seat could be good for her motion sickness. It’s ultimately Magdalene’s choice and the idea of having more time with Ryan before he leaves is too enticing to pass up. She bids her other friends goodbye, promising to come over for dinner before they fly out, and climbs into the cab of Cale’s truck.

Once again she’s a less than ideal passenger, but this time it’s because she sleeps the entire way back to Denver. The drinking took it out of her and coupled with the queasiness in her stomach from the winding roads sleep is the only thing that makes sense. So much for extra time with Ryan she thinks as she wakes up in the airport parking lot.

“Sleeping beauty has risen!” Ryan chuckles, “Why don’t you get out and stretch your legs for a sec? We have the parking spot for another fifteen minutes.”

Magdalene does as suggested because truthfully her joints are a little stiff, and finds Cale and Livy grabbing their bags from the back. She hugs them goodbye and wishes them safe travels, which Cale returns with a warning not to get into too much trouble before heading for the entrance. Once both of them are safely inside the confines of the airport, Ryan and Magdalene get back in the vehicle and finish the last leg of the trip.

She directs Ryan to her apartment complex, and he mentions that he’s never been in this area of the city. “That’s because you have no need to be around a bunch of university kids,” she laughs. Once they pull into the parking lot, he offers to help her take up her bag. It’s only a small suitcase Magdalene could definitely handle herself, but she wants him to come up, to prolong her time with him.

Magdalene’s keys jingle in the lock as the door opens. Ryan follows her in and shuts the door carefully, not wanting to disrupt the aura of peace that permeates the space. From what he can tell, the average size apartment is the perfect reflection of Magdalene – packed full of books and plants and feels very put together despite the owner being only twenty-five. After their shoes find a home on the boot rack and the coats they brought for the drive home are hung in the closet she leads Ryan into the living room. There’s a soft purring by his feet, and Ryan looks down to see an animal. He never pegged Magdalene as someone to keep pets.

“Who’s this?” he asks, bending down to pet the small white cat.

“That’s Caligula.”

A puzzled look graces Ryan’s features. “Who?”

“Caligula,” Madalene giggles. “You can call him little boots if you’d like. He’ll respond.” She picks up the animal when it comes to her and scratches gently behind its ear.

“Why would you name your cat something dumb like Caligula, and why does it respond to little boots?”

It’s then the woman realizes that not everyone understands the reference. “Caligula was the third emperor of Rome,” she explains, “But his real name was Gaius. He gained the nickname Caligula as a child and it just stuck. It translates to little boots in Latin.”

Ryan is in awe of Magdalene for what feels like the millionth time. Of course someone as smart as her would have a crazy name for a pet and have the knowledge to back it up. He feels his chest tighten with affection but he wills it away. She isn’t looking for anything right now, he reminds himself. Magdalene’s self-professed inability to reciprocate his feelings is frustrating, but Ryan knows he’d wait forever for her.

☼☼☼☼

additional notes: catch some extra content here!

taglist: @scrunchmakar @marcoscandellas @toplinetommy @ricohenrique @lovethepreds @cutiesara23 @hockeyallthetime @stlbluesbrat21 (add yourself to the taglist!)

[dameronology]

home {poe dameron x reader}

summary: poe made a promise to always come home, and it’s one he’s determined to keep

warnings: swearing, mentions of injuries 

more hurt/comfort fluff?? i almost sent myself off to sleep writing this bc of the ending and bc i am shattered. anyhoo, enjoy!

- jazz

p.s i skimmed this, but it has not been properly proof read haha oops pls bare with me, i will do it in the morning 

It had only been five days. 

You’d been apart from Poe for far longer than that; sometimes weeks, sometimes months. It was just part of being in the Resistance, and something you both knew you had to do, but it didn’t make it any easier. You must have had some pretty foul luck to have met the love of your life during a time in which the galaxy insisted on keeping you apart - but one look at the pilot, and all that faded away. He always made it home to you, no matter what. He’d made that promise to you pretty early in the relationship, and you knew it to be true. You could never doubt Poe. 

The Blue Squadron was due back to base at midday; the mission had been pretty secretive, so the comms lines had been shut most the time. Even after begging Leia to let you man the singular one that connected you to Poe, she’d refused, knowing it would only make things worst. The General only ever spoke from experience, and she had plenty in waiting around for cocky pilots. Whilst Poe was arguably a little less reckless than Han, she knew that you would both act as a distraction to one another’s work. You were equally important to the Resistance, and she couldn’t have you moping about on a commslink for hours a day. The joke was on her for that one, because you still moped, even when you weren’t trying to reach your guy. 

 ‘What time is it?’ You asked Finn. 

‘11.56.’ He glanced over at you, eyebrows raised. ‘So the same time as when you asked thirty seconds ago.’ 

‘I’m just anxious.’ You grumbled. ‘I’ve been so lonely the last five days.’

‘You mean the last five days that you’ve spent with me?’

‘Hey, it’s nothing personal!’ You nudged him in the ribs. ‘You miss him too.’

‘I do.’ Finn nodded. ‘We really are just a pair of simps.’

‘Friends who simp together, stay together.’ You grinned. ‘And if me and Poe ever break up, you have first dibs.’

‘Same for you, if Rey and I ever break up-’

‘- that would require you getting together in the first place.’ You reminded him. Finn could only scowl in response. 

‘I’m trying!’ He held his hands up in defense. ‘It’s just complicated.’

‘Nothing’s complicat - they’re here!’ 

You leapt off the crate you’d been sat on, sprinting across the hangar to where a fleet of X-Wings were grouping. Jess came in first, followed by Snap, and then Kare. Poe’s jet was the last to come in, which was unusual for him. He almost always lead the squad - aside from the time he’d managed to blow an engine and had to call you out to tow him back (it’s how you’d met, actually). Bar a few new dents and scratches, his jet looked to be in decent condition, with BB-8 whirring away from where he was perched in the back. You took that to be a good sign, even if he’d been the last to get in. 

A crowd of mechanics reached the fleet before you, tools in hand and ready to repair whatever damage the First Order had thrown at them. You gave Jess a smile and a high five as you passed, but your line of sight was dead set on finding the curly-haired pilot. You had to elbow your way through the crowd, heartbeat picking up as you did. Man, you’d missed him. The last few weeks had been rough for you both and being constantly pulled apart only made it worst. All you wanted to do was to see him, to hug him and-

- You hit Poe with a thud, chests colliding. He immediately wrapped you up in his arms, pulling you tightly against his chest and burying his head against yours. He smelt faintly of jet fuel and smoke, which was fitting. 

His lips were on yours the minute he’d let you go, hands tightly gripping your cheeks as he kissed you with all his might. Yeah, he’d missed you too.

‘Hey, baby.’ You couldn’t help but smile, eyes finally meeting - it didn’t last long though, not when you saw the state of his face. ‘Oh my god. Your eye! And your lip! And-’

‘- I missed you.’ Poe brushed it aside, pressing another exhausted kiss to your lips.   

‘I missed you too.’ You softly sighed. ‘The fuck happened to your face, though?’

‘Just...First Order stuff.’ He bit his lip, brown eyes falling to the floor. 

You sighed. ‘Shit, Poe.’ 

‘I know. He gently nodded. ‘I’m okay though. I’m here with you. That’s the important thing.’

‘You’re right.’ You agreed. ‘C’mon, I’ll take you to medical-’

He cut you off with a groan. ‘Let’s just go back to my room. Please?’ 

‘But your face.’ You gently ghosted a thumb across his bruised cheek, flinching when he shuddered slightly. ‘I mean...I have a first aid kit. I can always take a crack at it.’

‘That sounds a lot nicer than those nurse droids.’ He smiled. 

‘But you have to promise to get checked over tomorrow, okay?’

‘I promise.’

Poe flung his arm across your shoulders, pulling you into his side as you headed out the hangar. His own room was actually in the opposite direction, but he practically lived with you in yours. It always felt so much nicer. You’d managed to make it a lot homier, with photos of the two of you and fairy lights strung up. The scent of your perfume always lingered in the air and sleeping in your bed was the closest he could get to you when you were away on missions. In return, he left his jumpers and hoodies laying around for you to have free reign of. It was a weak form of paying rent, but he hadn’t heard any arguments. 

You could tell that Poe was tired from the way he walked. He usually had a swagger in his step, smiling at everyone who passed. Now, he was leaning on you for support, dark eyes staring dead ahead with exhaustion, his brain working at a thousand miles an hour to process what he’d witnessed over the last few days. You’d been on his mind the entire time.

‘Here we go.’ You gently lead him to the bed, helping him shrug off his charred flight suit. He caught your lips in a chaste kiss as you moved it off his shoulders, hands suddenly grabbing yours. 

‘You know I love you, right?’

‘Of course. I love you too.’ You murmured. ‘Is something up?’

Poe pulled you down onto the bed beside him, eyes finally meeting yours. ‘I just...I got captured on the mission. Very briefly, but still. It was scary, and there was a moment when I wasn’t sure I was gonna make it back.’

‘Poe.’ Your breath caught in your throat. ‘Is that why your face is all...’

‘Like this?’ He chuckled slightly. ‘Yeah. I’m sorry.’

‘Hey, don’t be.’ You squeezed his hands. ‘It’s not your fault, and like you said earlier, the important thing is that you here now.’

‘I know, but I promised you, didn’t I? That I’d always come home?’

‘And you did.’ You pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. ‘Now c’mon, I gotta stitch you up before this scars.’

‘I reckon I’d look hot with a couple battle scars, y’know.’

‘You would, but I’d rather you not bleed out all over my sheets for the sake of vanity.’ You smiled. 

Digging out your first aid kit, you grabbed a few cotton swabs and some bacta spray. You weren’t a nurse, but your medical skills weren’t terrible either. After a few too many injuries and close calls out in the field, you’d learnt the basics. Half of the scars on Poe’s body had been from your handiwork after he’d been injured -- some of them were a little wonky, but he hadn’t died yet, so you figured you’d done a decent job. The ones he’d done for you were much neater but in your defense, he was reckless as fuck and had a ton more experience in dealing with injuries. 

On the bright side, Poe’s torso seemed fine and relatively uninjured. The white shirt he was wearing was only smeared with soot from the blaster fire, and his bare arms were broad and uninjured, save for one scrape on his left bicep. Okay, maybe the broad part wasn’t relevant to the context, but it was definitely relevant on the whole. He did have good arms. You only ever truly felt safe when they were wrapped around you.

‘This might sting a little bit.’ You crouched between his legs, pouring a little bit of bacta spray onto the cotton swab. You gently wiped it across his forehead, doing a double take when he let out a hiss of pain. ‘You okay, baby?’

‘Yeah, I’m good.’ Poe’s eyes met yours, and he gave you a half smile. ‘Better now that you’re here.’

It didn’t take too long to clean up the rest of his cuts and bruises; they were relatively minor given what he’d been through. The last time he’d been caught by the First Order on Jakku, he’d come home ten times worse than this. You’d spent days by his side in the medical room, mostly chiding him for how funny he looked in the bactasuit, but also to offer emotional support. The duality of love. 

You finished up by wrapping a bandage around the cut on his left arm, gently tying it in place with a safety pin. It was enough to keep it clean and safe until tomorrow, when you’d hopefully be able to convince him to see an actual nurse. You knew that for now, he was tired and probably just wanted to rest. His eyes were sunken with tiredness, and his body had become more and more slumped as you’d gone about cleaning him up. Poe never slept well on missions; a mixture of anxiety and your absence always made for a bad night’s sleep. 

‘That should keep you in one piece for now.’ You said, running a hand through his hair. Poe leant into your touch, pressing a kiss to your wrist. ‘You should get some sleep.’

‘Mmm.’ He murmured. ‘You’re staying, right?’

'Absolutely.’ You offered him a soft smile. ‘Gotta lose the boots though. These are clean sheets.’

‘Can you do it for me?’ He asked, flopping back against the mattress. 

You rolled your eyes at his...Poe-ness, before leaning down and unzipping his shoes, tossing them in a pile across the room. Yours joined them, followed by your jacket and the crumpled flight suit. That was something else to worry about tomorrow. For now, your main focus was him. 

Poe climbed under the covers, shuffling across to make room for you. He reached out to you as you joined him, naturally wrapping his arms around your shoulders and pulling you into his side. The tiredness really hit him then, and you could feel his body untense as you pressed a kiss to his jaw. His body was warm against yours, which was a welcome contrast after sleeping alone for the last few nights. 

‘I love you.’ Poe murmured quietly. 

‘I love you too.’ You peered up at him with a smile. 

‘And I’ll always come home to you.’ He gave your shoulders a light squeeze. ‘You know that, right?’

‘I do.’

‘I’ll never break a promise to you.’

‘I know.’ You softly sighed, trying to move closer to him (as though it were even possible).

It was hard for him to fight the exhaustion now that he was laying with you -- after a few moments, his breathing became a little deeper, and his grip on you a little looser. You pressed one last kiss to his cheek, before settling back against his side and letting sleep over take you. 

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎! 𝙰𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚣 𝙿𝚛𝚘𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚜: 𝚂𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝙼𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚒

Disclaimer: In no way am I condoning, justifying, encouraging nor trying to romanticize yandere behavior. This is all a work of fiction and not meant to represent real life scenarios.

Warnings: Mentions of bullying, toxic relationship, violent behavior, murder, sexual scenes, paranoia leading to mental blackouts, miscarriage, suicide attempt, mental disorders and death are contained within this post. Read at your own discretion.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

𝐁𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧:

𝙽𝚊𝚖𝚎: 𝚂𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝙼𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚒

𝙳.𝙾.𝙱: 𝙰𝚞𝚐𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝟿𝚝𝚑, 𝟷𝟿𝟿𝟿

𝙷𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝: 𝟷𝟾𝟻 𝙲𝙼/ 𝟼'𝟶 𝙵𝚃.

𝙰𝚐𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: ■■■■□90%

𝙾𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: ■■■■■100%

𝙼𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝙸𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢: ■■■■□90%

𝙾𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: 𝙷𝚒𝚐𝚑

���𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙲𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗: 𝚂𝚞𝚋𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚟𝚎

𝙱𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝙰𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚢𝚜𝚒𝚜:

•𝙷𝚊𝚛𝚖𝚏𝚞𝚕 𝚏𝚒𝚡𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚘𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝

•𝙳𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝

•𝚃𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚍𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝚜𝚑𝚞𝚝𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗

•𝙸𝚗𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛

•𝙴𝚡𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚞𝚗𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚞𝚗𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝

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Mingi was someone who always kept to himself, never wanting to draw any kind of attention.

Unfortunately for him, he got a lot of attention while he was studying in university, and not the good kind.

He accidentally bumped into one of the jocks at school, and from that moment on, his life was hell.

He was constantly belittled, shoved to the floor, his locker filled with vicious and cruel messages ranging from "freak" to "kill yourself."

Mingi often just sighed and continued his day, as if this was totally normal.

It's not that he didn't understand what was going on or didn't care.

He was just too awkward and scared to stand up to himself.

So he often just came home, feeling hopeless and in despair.

Many times he hardly ate and would end up crawling inside his blankets and cry himself to sleep.

Even the few people he talked to stopped associating themselves with him out of fear of becoming the bullies' next target.

So Mingi resigned himself to being alone and to think no one would ever care about him....

Until you came along.

You had recently transferred to his school and one of the first things you saw was the poor sandy hair colored giant get punched in the stomach by his locker.

You were so disgusted and sickened by their behavior that you did not hesitate to go over and make sure he was all right.

"Hey, do you need help?" You asked as you helped him get up.

"I I'm fine...t-thanks.." Without another word, he left you standing there, running off to his next class.

He thought that'd be the last time he saw you but during lunch break, you made it a point to look for him and talk to him.

"Are you feeling better?"

Mingi looked up at you with wide eyes, wondering if it really was him you were talking to.

"Y-yeah...I'm fine. T-thanks"

Smiling at him, you sat next to him, taking out your lunch while trying to make conversation with him.

All throughout it, Mingi seemed agitated, scared almost.

You felt really bad and asked him if something was bothering him.

Sighing he told you:

"Look, I appreciate your concern, but I think it's best if you stay away from me.... I don't want them to hurt you because of me..."

You saw the sadness in his eyes, the loneliness behind them and that made you want to stay with him even more.

"What's your name?" You asked what you had really wanted to know since the beginning.

"Song Mingi." He answered you.

Grinning at him, you held out your hand.

"Well Song Mingi, I'm L/N Y/N. Your soon to be new best friend."

Mingi's mouth dropped at your words, he couldn't possibly believe you were serious.

But you were and not only did you become his closest friend, you also became his protector.

Unlike him, you were fearless, vivacious, outgoing and spontaneous.

And Mingi began to admire you a lot for it....

More than admired, he began to worship you, falling deeply in love with you.

For once in his life, he was happy, truly happy and filled with joy.

Instead of crying himself to sleep, he went to bed all excited to spend the next day with you.

And of course you two spent a lot of time together, since he became your math tutor cause you were the absolute worst with numbers.

You were thankful that Mingi was so patient and caring towards you.

He never showed any signs of frustration or annoyance even after explaining the equation to you about 20 times.

"Y/N. Pay attention or you won't ace the test." He often told you, adding a little pinch to your nose or cheek to get you to focus.

He also loved just talking to you during these sessions.

Obviously being your best friend, he also ended up picking up on what sort of things you liked in a guy.

He would often observe you at school or while you two were out.

One time he even read through a few of your messages with one of your other friends from your old school.

It was exactly what Mingi needed to know, he now had a glimpse of the type of boyfriend you wanted.

And for you.....he'd end up becoming that boyfriend.

So while you were in spring break, he prepared everything.

He got rid of his cardigans and vests, trading them for leather and jean jackets.

He ended up cutting his hair differently and started wearing tighter fitting pants that accentuated his thick thighs.

So when you saw him again, it was a complete 180° from the shy, nerdy boy you knew.

"Whoah! Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?"

You weren't going to lie, Mingi did look very attractive.

You were glad though that he was still the cute, adorable and somewhat clumsy boy he was when you first met him.

Because that's the Mingi you knew and loved.

And you wouldn't trade him for anything in the world.

It was after finals that Mingi decided to ask you out.

You were both out celebrating the fact you both passed when he popped the question:

"Y/N will you go out with me?" He suddenly blurted out.

You were taken aback, but said yes nonetheless.

Mingi was so happy.

He was extremely devoted to you as a boyfriend, always saying yes to you and going along with whatever it was you wanted.

Anything you said, he would do it.

"Anywhere you want to go is fine with me."

"Anything you want is fine with me."

You thought it was really sweet at first, he really wanted to make you happy.

But after almost a year of dating, it kinda started to get annoying.

It bothered you that he never seemed to have an opinion of his own.

You actually snapped at him one day while planning a date out.

"Can't you freaking decide for yourself once?"

Mingi just whipped his head at you, unable to comprehend why you were yelling at him.

"Do you not even care about me or this relationship? Cause honestly it seems like you're not actually putting effort into it and if it's like that, why am I even wasting my time on you?"

Mingi got really scared when you began walking out the door, he pleaded with you to stay, to talk through it.

"I'll do anything! Y/N please just don't leave me! What do you want me to do?!" He begged as he got on his knees.

"I want you to leave me alone!"

Alone......that word struck a chord in Mingi's head.....alone.

No....he couldn't go back to being alone...go back to the cold world that he was used to.

He began hyperventilating, his head was spinning and it was pounding like there was no tomorrow.

He doesn't remember much after that. All he remembers was the annoying knocking at the door.

He remembers opening it and seeing a random salesperson there....

But after that, it's all a big black faze, and when he finally came to his senses....

He was covered in blood, and a bludgeoned corpse was sprawled across the kitchen floor.

Although he was panicking, Mingi knew that you could not find out about this.

So he quickly got to work and cleaned up all traces of blood and managed to get rid of the body with no one seeing him.

He was so confused about what happened and panicking about if you found out, that he didn't hear you come in the house until you literally stood in front of him.

He instantly got on his knees and hugged your waist.

"Baby I was so scared that you left me forever! Please I'm sorry I made you feel like I don't care about you, I do! I fucking love you so much, and I promise I'll try harder....

Just for you..."

You felt so bad seeing him, and truly you loved him and felt like it was a petty thing to get mad about.

You pulled him up and reassured him that you weren't mad anymore and that you were too much in love with him to leave.

Mingi felt so relieved. He couldn't even begin to fathom what would happen if he did lose you.

He'd probably go insane.

True to his word, Mingi did try harder to get rid of that habit of just following what you said like a little puppy, and would now start expressing himself more.

Now the problem was he went the complete opposite direction: now he seemed to question your every decision and it would lead to small tiny banters between you two.

One time you got tired of him making a fuss over the fact you were spending so much time with a classmate that it turned really ugly.

"We're working on a project Mingi! Nothing else!" You shouted at him.

"What do you need to be going to his house though and staying til late hours of the night? Why can't you two do it here?!"

"Because you end up distracting us both and throwing passive aggressive words to him." You were exhausted from all the screaming by now you were losing your patience.

"Are you sure it's not because you're just whoring yourself out with them?" He didn't mean for those words to come out...but they did.

And you didn't mean to get so angry to the point of slapping him, but you did and that's when it hit you that you went too far.

You both stood there stunned at what happened, Mingi more hurt than anything by your actions, while you felt ashamed of yourself.

You lifted your hand against the very person you were protecting at first.....and now you hated yourself for hurting him like his past bullies.

Ashamed and full of guilt, you turned away and began walking out.

"Wait no! Y/N please! It's ok! It was my fault! I shouldn't have said that! Please let's just work it out!"

"No Mingi! I can't! I..... I need a break."

Mingi's world came crumbling down when you said that. He went into a slight catatonic state as he watched you walk away.

Once he regained his senses, he ran after you, desperate to bring you back, running around aimlessly through the dark streets and alleys, calling out for you but you were nowhere to be seen.

"Get lost you dirty bastard." A passerby rudely shoved him out of the way.

In a matter of seconds, Mingi's eyes darkened, his fist clenched at his side as rage now coursed through his body.

He turned his head to look back at the stranger who was now walking away.

Smirking, Mingi pulled out the switchblade he was carrying in his pocket before creeping quietly to the man.

Someone had to pay the price and feel the wrath and despair he felt at losing his goddess......and he found them.

It had been roughly a month since you last saw Mingi and although you hated to admit it, you missed him. But you knew you had to stay away for his sake.

But things don't go as planned and you soon found out you were going to have to see him sooner than you thought...

Because you were now pregnant with his child and you had to let him know.

You were so nervous about telling him, your hand trembled as you opened the door to the apartment you used to share with Mingi.

You quietly stepped inside, too afraid to call out for him just yet.

But then you heard some weird noises coming from the bedroom, your heart somewhat dropping when you distinguished what sounded like moans and panting.

You could also make out Mingi's deep voice calling out your name.

Opening the door open, your hand flew to your mouth, semi-muffling your sharp gasp as you took in the scene of Mingi fucking some random girl with her face covered on the bed you two shared not too long ago.

"What the fuck Mingi?!" You exclaimed in utter disgust and betrayal.

"Y/N! I can explain!" All color drained from Mingi's face as he pulled himself out of the girl and quickly dressed himself.

You couldn't bear to stay there another moment, you just ran out of there once again.

But you didn't get far because Mingi swiftly caught up to you and enraptured you in his arms.

"Don't touch me! You're disgusting! You liar! You cheater!" You tossed and writhed around as you tried to escape his grasp, while Mingi tried to hold you still and trying to talk to you.

You felt an immense pain run through your stomach at that moment, your body becoming paralyzed as some weird and excruciating torment bursted in you.

Mingi noticed as well how you clutched your stomach and had difficulty breathing so he wasted no time in taking you to the hospital.

You woke up hours later, late at night, a nurse by your side and Mingi on the other, his hand holding onto yours as tears poured from his eyes.

"What happened?" You immediately asked, your hand instinctively going to your belly.

The nurse explained with sorrow how you had lost the baby, apologizing profusely to you, knowing you were probably in pain.

You went berserk when she told you that, first you denied it, then you began screaming while trying to pull off the IVs attached to you.

Mingi tried to calm you down, but instead he made things worse with his presence.

"This is all your fault! If it wasn't because of you, my baby would be alive!"

Those words cut Mingi deep inside, you killed him immediately with them.

Other nurses rushed in to calm you down as one of them pulled Mingi away for his protection and for yours.

You were numb for the next few days, refusing to see anyone and especially not Mingi, you gave strict orders not to let him in.

You were planning on never seeing him again.

The very day you were released from the hospital though, he was the first person you encountered while you were on your way home.

"Y/N?" He asked, startling you when he came out from the corner.

Your feet shifted slowly, almost losing balance on the small step on your front door.

"What are you doing here? I thought I made it clear I never wanted to see you." Not wanting to waste another minute, you quickly punched in your passcode.

"Y/N baby you don't mean that! I love you! And you love me!"

You let out a dry and haughty laugh at that.

"You? Love me? Is that why you were fucking some whore behind my back?"

"I swear she didn't mean anything! And I made her cover her face because I was thinking of you the entire time..."

You rolled your eyes at that, feeling absolutely disgusted.

"But then I realized she was to blame for everything and so I got rid of her so I can make you happy, forgive me and we could start again."

You halted your actions when he said that.

"Mingi...what do you mean you got rid of her?"

If his last words disturbed you, now you were absolutely horrified as he calmly told you how he mutilated her body and discarded her remains in a lake outside of the city.

You actually felt sick and nearly threw up right then and there.

"Mingi.....what..... you're insane! How could you-?"

Mingi couldn't understand why you were upset.

"Don't you see? I did it for you Y/N. Everything I've ever done is for you."

Now it dawned on you, the person you've ever loved was sick, extremely sick and needed help.

"Mingi.....don't come near me again....stay away....seriously..."

And once again another struggle between you two ensued, you wanting to run away while he held onto you for dear life.

"Stop Mingi! Let me go! I don't love you anymore!"

The spinning in his head started once again, his vision becoming hazy, he could hear his own heartbeat resonating in his ears, his hand shook violently as it reached for an all too familiar object he kept hidden in his pocket....

Everything turned dark and blinding....

But when he came back, there he was, staring in shock at your lifeless body, a fresh, clean cut running all across your neck, blood still spurting out and staining his hands.

"Oh my God! What have I done?!" Mingi cried out, wailing and screaming erratically at the thought that he had just murdered his soulmate with his own hands.

He couldn't bear the thought of living without you, he just couldn't....

And so he picked up the very tool he used to kill you and held up to his own neck....

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[atticinthecafe]

its 1 am and I wanted to write before I headed off to bed. this jumps around a lot time wise and I did not proof read it I'm ti r e d

---

The first time Akira did this Morgana nagged at him the whole time.

---

"Joker! You've been wandering around the city for hours," Morgana whined from inside the bag, shifting around.

Akira just hummed in response. His eyes were distant and foggy, constantly trained on the distance. Sometimes they would scan across the crowds, almost like he was looking for someone, but for the most part he just seems dazed, lost in thought. He kept walking, the twists and turns memorized by the back of his hand, simply wandering. Sometimes he'd end up on a train to some other area, but he just wandered all the same.

"When are we going home? I'm bored!" Morgana complained, this time getting a bit louder.

This seemed to break Akira from his thoughts, as he frowned looking at his bag where Morgana sat.

"I can talk you home if you want," He spoke low, just to his cat, in a neutral tone. It was hard to tell what was on his mind.

"Yes! wait- you're going to keep walking?"

"Mhm,"

"I'm not leaving you on your own! I'll just tough it out then! But we better get food sometime soon!"

---

Morgana hadn't really known why he was wandering, but to be fair, neither did he.

He had his hand shoved into a pocket, holding the glove he had gotten from his rival and walked around the city, watching the scenery and the people go past as he drifted. It was different now. He had been doing this for weeks. Just- walking around.

Orginally he had no clue why he did it. Something weighed on him, made him feel heavy. He zoned out during conversations and stared into space. Morgana suggested maybe fresh air and a walk would help refresh his senses, but it just ended in him wandering.

He needed the space, to be away from people. He also needed away from his thoughts, but that wasn't so easy. The city provided a nice distraction. Different things to think about. But that didn't stop the soft lull of sadness from weighing down his head.

He missed Akechi if he was being honest. He didn't notice it. But it was like a low hum in the back of his heart. Invisible stress making him tired when he hadn't done anything. It haunted him and didn't leave him be.

---

Morgana at some point had mentioned how when cats lose a friend or someone they care about they'll wander around, meowing and crying out for the other.Akira wondered if Morgana had been talking about him when he brought it up.

Today he had left Morgana with Futaba. The fog in his head and weight in his chest had gotten worse the past week. He hadn't known why until Ryuji mentioned it was around the same date they had met Akechi.

Incredible how his subconscious refused to let go.

The rain pattered against his umbrella as he walked and puddles gently splashed beneath his feet. It was nice to get rain in June. He certainly didn't mind it. It gave the city a softer, calmer feel. It almost felt like the rain took some of his weight with it when it fell.

---

Akira was fine most days. He seemed normal. Almost like he had moved on, but there were some where he simply disappeared out the front door, and everyone knew. They knew he still missed Akechi, no matter how many times they told him he shouldn't.  They knew he needed space for a bit.

The one time they made him stay it was obvious how he was stressed without realizing it. He fidgeted awkwardly and didn't participate in conversation. He seemed like he wasn't there at all and when spoke to he'd look up confused and obviously off in his own world.

Sometimes they would intentionally tell him to take a walk. He'd get shaky and tense for no reason. Seem more irritable and quiet than usually. Not handle loud noises or being around people well. This is when his friends would step in and tell him maybe he should go for a walk to calm his nerves. Sometimes it would take him getting frustrated over something small and all his stress breaking like a dam for the others to take notice, in which case they'd quiet down and all pause to take care of him. Whether it be one of them going on a walk with him, or the group settling down to bundle up in blankets and form a small pile as they watched movies together.

He wished it would stop. The days where he was stressed without realsing it and dazed. The days where he felt like the slightest thing going wrong would cause him to start sobbing and he didn't know why. The days where he missed Akechi.

He wasn't even certain if he was alive.

---

It had been a few years. Akira was better. He was managing better. But he still suddenly disappeared for walks. Some nights he wouldn't sleep at all and instead wandered.

It had been one of those nights, and now here he was, head resting on the counter of Leblanc well Sojiro huffed at him in the background. Something about going upstairs to sleep and not staying up so late.

He didn't move though, and Sojiro didn't seem to mind. There was something calming about the atmosphere. It was warm and the chattering of the TV in the background provided comfort in it's own way.

He couldn't sleep, as much as he wanted to the stress tugged at his brain keeping him just awake enough to be unable to sleep but not awake enough to bypass his exhaustion. So he just sat there, soaking in the smell of coffee and the peaceful air.

---

A ring sounded from the door, and Akira didn't bother looking up, staying where he was.

That was until he heard a soft, almost amused hum as a chair besides him was dragged out from its spot, someone sitting besides him. His eyes flickered open and up to meet red ones, gazing at him fondly.

The time passed in sections, one moment he has his head on the table, next he knew Akira was a crossed from the man, getting started on his favorite cup of coffee, pressing his glove back into his hand with tears pricking at his eyes. Then he was brewing coffee. A conversation between them was happening but- he didn't hear it. It made his chest warm and light, the lightest it had felt it years.

He placed the coffee infront of the other with a smile. He could feel the pure, unfiltered love and happiness just to be able to hear his voice again rush through his body with every word the man spoke.

He hummed softly as the other pressed their hands together, the warmth filling his body yet lingering just where he touched him.

---

His heart felt raw.

Akira blinked open his eyes to Sojiro leaving. To the once warm comforting room feeling cold and bitterly lonely. The warmth that lingered on his hand feeling almost like a bitter sting.

He lifted his head up to find tears streaming down his face and his sleeves damp from where he had been resting his head.

Of course, it was just a dream.

His fingers found their way into his pocket, and he gripped the glove tight. His chest was nothing but raw pain that you would have figured he would have gotten over by now.

He just wanted to see him again.

---

The next few days were incredible low for Akira. He spent most of them asleep.

Dreams were incredible tantalizing now. The fact that occasionally, he would see Akechi again in them made them feel more worth while than reality sometimes.

It was lonely.

He spent a long time asleep that week. More than he should have, but he couldn't help it. The sting in his chest was hard to bare.

---

Akira laughed.

It was the fullest his chest had felt in a while. No longer that haunting hollow that followed him around from day to day.

He was still moving on, he still occasionally had days where he would wander. But they were less now.

The warmth that filled his chest when his friends smiled, the brightness in their eyes and the lightness to their tone when they said the stupidest jokes made the lonely fade.

He had forgotten how good they make him feel.

There was a bittersweet taste left in his mouth when he thought about Akechi. How he should get to feel the same warmth Akira did. How he deserved so much more than the cards he was handed, but Akira didn't linger on that. He couldn't. He had to move forwards.

Akechi would probably call him stupid for staying stuck on him so long. He would say how he shouldn't waste the life he has thinking about someone who killed him. How if anything he should be glad he finally won. There was no more rivalry to be had. But Akira still had to disagree.

Akira took every step as a challenge to be better. He spent the days trying to improve, telling himself that he couldn't fall behind now. He couldn't disappoint the rival he loved so dearly by stopping just because it was over.

He figured if Akechi ever did return, he'd give him a real challenge. If he met Akechi again he wanted to be someone he could respect, someone he could challenge and find worth challenging. He wanted to keep the rivalry alive in his own little way. It was just a promise in his own mind he had to keep. And he couldn't do that with a hurting chest, so he indulged in the moments surrounded by friends, with laughter in the air.

He would do his best to continue, just to prove that he could. He wouldn't forget Akechi, he didnt think he could, but he wouldn't fall behind because of him.

---

When the day was late and the sky had turned shades of orange Akira was left cleaning up Leblanc, making sure everything was ready for business tomorrow.

It had been a while since he had finally realized that he had moved forwards, but he was still making progress with each day.

He leaned back onto a shelf, letting out a soft satisfied hum as he relaxed for the day.

Then the bell on the door rung.

Then a familiar voice spoke, and Akira had to make sure this wasn't a dream.

"I hope I haven't come in too late for a cup of coffee Kurusu, I was hoping we could catch up,"

[miki-snake]

Cockwarming with the HQ Boys

📖: Just some quick random thoughts on how some of the hq boys would be while cockwarming you

🧡: Kenma x reader, Bokuto x reader, Matsukawa x reader and Tendou x reader

⭕️: SMUT, nsfw!, 18+, cockwarming, some degradation, not proofread and maybe kinda rushed at the end idk? 

🔍: 3.3k+

A/N: it got longer than expected;; i need help pls, sm show me how to write short thingz

Kenma Kozume

he doesn’t have a high libido and most of times isn’t the one to initiate things

especially on days when he was exhausted from college and streaming

the first time cockwarming came up wasn’t planned

he was lying on his bed with his switch in his hands playing ac

it would be a lie if you said that u weren’t a little needy but you were also tired

u just wanted to cuddle with him

so u slid up between his arms, head nuzzling against his neck, arms wrapped around his torso and your legs on either side of his waist

for some minutes you two just lay there like that

somehow you unconsciously grind yourself against him and of course it doesn’t go unnoticed

he just lets you do as you wanted and continued playing his game

you realized how you were already dripping wet and started to grind yourself harder against him

it wasn’t unusual for you to dry hump your boyfriend to make yourself come (easiest way for a lazy evening)

the feeling of his cock hardening underneath you sent shivers up your spine

you couldn’t handle it anymore and sat up a little

in a fast pace you slid down your shorts and soiled panties, throwing them across the floor

you looked at Kenma and grabbed the hem of his boxers, desperately wanting feel his hot skin

he nodded his head and in a fast motion his boxers were out of your way

going back to your previous position you wrap your legs around his waist

you sat back down in his lap, his now fully erect cock between your pulsing lips

slowly you moved yourself forth and back

both your juices already mixing with each other

Kenma was still focused on his game but you could hear him letting out some low moans

the slow pace wasn’t enough anymore and so you moved your hips faster and harder against his leaking cock

though you still craved the feeling of being filled by his cock

so suddenly you raised your hips, grabbed his dick and sunk down on his shaft 

you both let out a loud moan and Kenma’s head fell back into his neck

somehow the feeling of being filled by him made you feel warm and the tiredness came back to you

so you just wrapped your arms around his neck, head on his shoulder and enjoyed the feeling of being one with your boyfriend

Kenma asked you why you wouldn’t move

you just shook your head and nuzzled deeper into his neck

he didn’t mind it and went back to playing with his switch

so you two sat there in the silence except from the quiet game music and occasionally you would clamp down on him or he would give a little thrust into your cunt

since that day it became a normal habit in the evening for the both of you but not every time would be as peaceful

It was six o’clock which was Kenma’s usual streaming time and after many requests of wanting to see his girlfriend or for him to play against her, he finally gave in and so you found yourself in his streaming room.

Instead of sitting next to him like any normal person would do, you were sitting on his lap. The chat was filled with comments on how cute you were, how you two look good with each other and some of them asked why your face was so red. You just told them that you were a little embarrassed because it was your first time streaming and you were excited. You were indeed excited but not because of the stream. How could your cheeks not be flushed when your boyfriend's cock was buried deep inside of you while thousands of people were watching you two through a camera.

It was Kenma’s idea because he somehow felt needy that day but he couldn't postpone the stream and who were you to deny your beautiful and cute boyfriend when he was asking you to cockwarm him in the public eye.

So after you two answered some questions he started a game so you and him could play it on stream. His voice was calm as he was explaining the controls but you sure as hell were too distracted to understand what he was telling you. When you would die during the game he would thrust up into you and you’d mask your moan as a groan of disappointment because of your death. He would tease you, telling you to answer some questions in the chat while you waited for the next round to start. Sure it wasn’t easy to be quiet but you couldn’t help and constantly grinned yourself on his cock.

When Kenma died in one round, right before his team won (you were already dead), he thrusted his hips up into you, his cock going even deeper and hitting a spot inside of you that made you lose your mind. You bid yourself hard on your lip, head facing away from the camera and eyes shut, while they rolled back into your head. It was so hard to not let a single noise escape your lips and you weren’t sure if a small whimper maybe left your mouth but in the moment you didn’t care. You just basked in the feeling of your orgasm, trying to ride your high as long as possible but you knew that it couldn’t be that long.

You felt Kenma’s hand on your head and finally you opened your eyes and turned your head back to the audience again. You saw how the viewers were asking you if everything was all right and you told them it was fine and you just felt a little nauseous back there but it already settled down again.

Kenma kept on stroking your hair and he proposed to change the game to Animal Crossing so it was more relaxed for you.

And so you continued the stream and showed them your island, but you didn’t forget Kenma's hard cock that was still filling you up.

Bokuto Kotarou

this man lives for cockwarming

he knows that he is packing and he loves to see how you struggle to take him all in

he’s not only long but also thicc

his cock head spreading your dripping lips until it felt like they’d be torn apart

he lets out a guttural groan when he’s fully seated inside of you

praising you for being such a good girl, his good girl

it would be totally random when he would tell you to come and sit on his cock

like when you two are eating, in the pool or in the car

you two would swim in the pool on a hot summer day

while taking a break he would suddenly grab you by your hips

he’s hauling you over on his lap

fast motion swiping your bottoms to the side

it might be rushed but he’s still careful of not hurting you

teasing you a bit and letting his tip run up and down your gaping hole

also circling around your clit

finally he’s pushing the fat tip into you

slowly so you could feel every vein on his cock that was grazing ur walls

loves to suck on your nipples while pushing u down

still keeping his eyes on ur face tho

he needs to see ur needy and strained face

watching how your eyes roll back, mouth open and the tip of ur tongue hanging out

you do try to tell him that it’s too much (even though u don’t wanna stop)

and he just chuckles at you

keeping a firm grip on ur hips and holding you down

after what feels like hours you reach the base of his dick

he’s pulsing inside of you and can’t help but clamp down on him

you were outside in the pool do you tried to keep ur voice down

but not possible

you whimper and moan and groan etc.

so when he’s completely inside of you he starts walking out of the water

with you in his arms he climbs out as if you were a part of him

he sits down on the sun bed and just keeps you in place

sometime he would even doze off like that

Bokuto is impatient tho so it won’t stop at just cockwarming

You now found yourself on the floor of your living room with your boyfriend hovering over your body and his hard, thick cock buried inside of you. After he woke up from his little nap he wasted no time to grab you at your hips and move you up and down his cock. You, still half in your sleep, couldn't help but let out a low groan. He sat back up  and used the new position to drive his cock even deeper into you. His eyes were still a bit unfocused from just waking up but it didn’t stop him from looking at your beautiful face that slowly twisted into a mask of pleasure. Even though you enjoyed the work out you two did at the moment, you asked him to stop for a moment. Bokuto listened to you and asked you what was wrong and you told him that you two should go inside to continue the little fun you had. He didn’t respond and just picked you up and sprinted into the house. He nearly tripped and fell down the floor but that was when he decided to just lay you down and continue in your living room.

Mattsukawa Issei

“Come on y/n, we both know how much you need me to move my cock in your sweet, little, juicy cunt. Just tell me what to do and how you want it, so I can give you your deserved pleasure, my baby owl.”, he said to you with his low scratchy voice and you just squirm underneath him. “I need you to move, please fuck me with your thick, fat cock, I need to feel it. I need to cum, please.”, you cried out to him and without a warning he started to pound into you at a fast pace, rocking your body against the hardwood floor. You could already feel the familiar coil building up inside of you, the previous hours of cockwarming already making you feel  sensitive and stimulating you to no end. Bokuto didn’t slow down and just kept on rolling his hips into yours, occasionally grazing against your oversensitive clit. “Ko- Kotarouuuu I need to come, please let me come, I can’t take it anymore!”, and so you felt how his thumb went down on your clit, rubbing and twisting it. His lips found your hard, rosy buds again, tonguing and sucking on them, his teeth scraping the prickling skin. All of the stimulation made your head spin and your orgasm hit you like a shockwave. Your mouth wide open, a silent scream coming out of it and your nails digging into Bokuto’s back. As you slowly came out of your orgasmic state, you realized that Bokuto’s still humping you and desperately chasing his high. He was overstimulating you and you needed a break, so you spoke up to help him reach his climax. “Kou please come for me. I need you to come for me, need to feel all of your hot and sticky cum flooding my pussy. I want it all deep inside of me, come on Kou wanna feel it dripping out of my little cunny.”

And with that he lost all of his control, hips moving erratically and a loud moan leaving his mouth, while you felt how your insides were filled with his hot cum. He fell down on you and buried his face in your chest, you both stayed like that, relaxing in the afterglow.  

if you think that Bokuto would tear you apart, this man is going to break you

he is the epitome of a thick and long cock

there is no way that you could just cockwarm him randomly

usually you two do it in your bedroom

you still need to get prepped beforehand

so some fingering has to be done or you’d only be able to get the tip in

like Bokuto he loves to see you struggle and knows how much you have to take

he takes it slow on you at first

prepping you with his long fingers and maybe even eating you out (if you’ve been a good girl) 

he’d take his time, enjoying how you’d mewl above him 

he would get you sloppy wet but wouldn’t let you come 

when he thinks you’re ready to take him he sits back up 

he’d still take some lube and spread it on his cock just to be sure

he might like to add a little pain in the play but he’s aware of his size and it shouldn’t hurt more than necessary

so you’re slowly sliding down his cock 

you already feel the stretching and straining 

your walls are instantly clamping down on him which makes it harder to move

he tells you to relax and rubs your clit to distract you from the pain 

taking a deep breath you try to regain your composure

his tip was already in and you start to move a little up and down a bit

that way you can slowly get him deeper inside of you 

half way in you beg him to just leave it that 

you already felt too full 

but he won’t stop there and grabs your hips to push you down 

when he bottoms out you felt tears prickling in your eyes

Mattsun comes ups and kisses them away

he looks down on your belly and nearly comes at the sight 

your stomach was bulging from his long cock 

you felt it, the strain against you belly button 

you still felt a bit pain but it was overshadowed by the pleasure of being filled 

you two just lie there and enjoy each others presence 

but it was sure to end soon

Tendou Satori

Even though he was only inside of  you and not moving, you felt completely stimulated. The veins of his cock were pulsing against you inner walls and his trimmed hair was pressed against your clit. “What is it? Is having my cock deep inside of our slutty hole not enough for you?”, he asked you with his deep voice in a taunting manner. You don’t react to him and so he thrusts his hips up in a fast motion and you nearly screamed. Even after spending some time with his cock inside of you, you won’t ever get accustomed to his size. “If you want it all you have to do is beg for a it like a little slut you are, alright babygirl?”, he moved his hands up to cup your face and you have no other choice but to look him right into the eyes. His eyes were devouring you already, full of desire and making you feel all hot and bothered. 

You felt like a dam broke inside of you and the words just came rushing out of you. “Please daddy, I need to feel more than that. I’m your little slut and your pussy needs to be filled with all of your cum, please.”, you whined and slowly moved your hips on his cock, the feeling of being stretched still accompanying you. “Well said babygirl. Alright I guess I can’t leave you hangin then right?”, he smirked and thrusted into you from below. The tip of his cock kept on pushing against the inside of your stomach, reminding you of how big he actually was. He moved in a fast pace and circled his thumb around your clit. You had to hold onto him or else the impact his thrusts might have thrown you off of him. To say that he was wild was an understatement. He flipped you around on your back, his cock never sliding out of you and got back to his frenzy pace. His pants were fanning your face and you felt how he was slowly pushing you off the tip. He could feel how your walls were clenching down on him even more than usual and he knew you were close. His thrusts also became irregular and he landed a slap on your clit. That was what you needed to fall off the cliff, full speed into your sexual heaven. Mattsun followed you into his own high and spurts of cum were painting the insides of your now wrecked pussy white. 

He circled his arms around your body and rolled off to the side, so he wouldn’t crush you. He pulled you into his chest, nose buried inside your hair and you two doze off into the dreamland. 

he’s a fucking tease

cockwarming is smth you two casually do 

like when you lounge on the couch and watch anime together

he was the first one to initiate it 

but now none of you has too really say anything and it just happens

most of the times just cockwarming isn’t enough for you tho 

he knows that but he wouldn’t move in any way 

you would have to do all of the work

teases you and makes fun of you being so needy 

you two started to watch the new season of bnha 

somehow along the way you moved onto his lap and slipped his dick into you

just happens you know

so you two continue to watch the movie but you start to feel the tingle inside your stomach

you think you’re sly and moved forward to grab your drink so you could feel him moving inside of you

the problem was

you did that like every five minutes

so he picked up on our habit and just told you to give him your drink he’s gonna hold it for you

that ass

so you started to get impatient and squirmed on his lap 

you could hear him chuckle 

so you turned around and glared at him 

he just shrugs at you and is like:

you wanna get off? do it yourself

“What’s going on? You look so troubled.”, you knew he was teasing you and you already knew that if you want something to happen, you had to do it yourself. So, you turned around until you were facing him, your hands on his shoulders and you started to move your hips. “Oh! So that’s what was keeping your mind occupied? I already knew that you weren’t focused on the tv but I didn’t think that you were thinking about fucking yourself on my cock.”, he laughed at you but that didn’t stop your movements. No, you even started to move faster so you could see him pant and flustered as you felt. Well, it won’t be that easy because he knows which buttons to press for you to break first. “So, you’re just using me like a fucktoy? Oh, you’re such a desperate little bitch, you couldn’t even watch the movie without thinking about stuffing your stupid cunt full of my cock?”, he knew how much his dirty talk was affecting you and your pussy clenched down on him at every word he said. Your juice was already dripping down o his cock and thighs, the whole scene a complete mess. That was fine with you though because you wouldn’t describe yourself other than a mess at the moment. A moaning mess, a hot and bothered mess, just a fucking mess for none other than Tendou Satori. The knot in your stomach was starting loosen and you felt how even more slick dripped down your thighs. Suddenly he thrusted his hips upwards into you and the climax came crashing down on you. Your body tensed up, thighs pressed against Tendou’s legs and eyes rolled back into your head. He’s following suit and thick squirts of his heavy creamy cum are rushing into you, making you feel even fuller than you already are. The episode was still running in the background, while you two panted from the exercise and you just sit there, taking your well deserved break. 

[kominum]

semoto (corpse x fem!reader)

4 times you think tuxedo mask!corpse could be yours + 1 time you learn to stop feeding your own delusions 

pt. 1 + background info can be found here! please read for context. 

basic rundown of classic!sailor moon (anime) lore ‘creatively’ used in this two-part:

sailor moon and tuxedo mask are star-crossed lovers/soulmates that faced tragedy in a previous life. 

sailor mars (aka you/reader) had a crush on tuxedo mask’s non-hero persona, darien/mamoru, for a while 

sailor moon is the moon princess and tuxedo mask is the earth prince.  

sailor moon’s non-hero persona, usagi/serena, bickered a lot with darien/mamoru.

fem!reader // tw: death mentions, bodily injury, unrequited love to the very end, some unresolved tension. 

1. “Whaddup, baby?” 

Without much reason, you and Corpse trade off calling each other whenever a new monster is defeated. You’re figuring out all of this as much as he is, but he doesn’t have much guidance besides some supernatural force within him. He’s not taking instructions from a black cat and white cat like you and the other girls are who can help fill you in on the gaps -- all he knows is that he’s pivotal to maintaining Earth’s existence, and he’s not exactly thrilled about it.

But the calls are never about the fights, never about your secret identities. In fact, you’d be willing to bet half your grocery funds that he still hasn’t made the connection between you and your Sailor Mars persona and part of you wants to keep it that way. Sometimes you’re mentally exhausted and just want to forget about the events for the day or night, which is why you usually end up calling him soon after everyone disperses or vice versa. It’s almost instinctual these days, and you wonder how long it’ll be before you accidentally crack. 

Right now, the rule of thumb seems to be, “Never trust new flashy shops that open with no warning and have too-good-to-be-true grand opening offers.” This time, some luxurious salon opened up by a famous local hairdresser had been the said attraction. All of you weren’t ignorant enough to believe the sham, but the star of the show had taken the chance to say, “Let’s go scope it out!” when really, she wanted that free haircut. You had called her out on it, but she argued that if anything happened, then perfect, you all could take care of it right then and there. Needless to say, you do not want to be attacked by a monstrous version of Edward Scissorhands ever again. Corpse had made a dark, humorous entrance, a style he’s really adapted to because he knows it pisses Sailor Moon off, 

About an hour later, you’re home and bandaging up some cuts and rubbing salve on bruises, phone on speaker and dial tone blaring through the bathroom. You’re addressing the scrape on your knee when he picks up, a low drawl of, “Whaddup, baby?” comes through and your heart stutters.

The girls call you a number of terms of endearment: sweetie, honey, love, dear, babe, queen, but the last person to address you as ‘baby’ with any amount of affection was your ex-boyfriend.

You scoff to hide how flustered you actually are, quietly hissing as you attempt to put some Neosporin on the scrape and catch onto some stray skin. “Are you drunk?” You ask jokingly, knowing full well he wasn’t. 

“Drunk? Nah. Tired? Yeah. But that’s always.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

“It’s old news. But uh, what’s up? Been a while since we last talked.”

“We talked like...three days ago. You called me, remember?”

“Feels like forever. I like talking to you.” 

You wonder if it’s irony or plain, cruel fate that this man will probably be the death of you.

2. “Don’t lay a fucking hand on her.”

It’d been a bad day overall. Lack of sleep compiled on by a growing pile of assignments in addition to having to get your tires checked out for an air leak because your car said, “Not today, honey,” -- everything came together in torrential hurricane and the last thing you needed was to be caught fighting another force of evil.

You’re so tired.

Sailor Moon seems to have all the energy in the world as she dodges attacks left and right, but your muscles are screaming in agony. You’re constantly hunched over and panting, but looking for the right openings to weaken the monster. Luckily, the creature has its back towards you when it dashes over to Venus and you muster everything you have to summon a bow and arrow made of fire, pulling back and making sure your arms don’t quiver. 

But at the last second, your lack of oxygen gets the best of you and your flame sniper barely manages to graze the monster’s side and narrowly avoid Jupiter. It’s enough to cause a distraction, but the anger in its glare as it’s directed at you elicits surrender in your heart. There’s nothing left in your bones to help you run or hide, and your knees buckle painfully onto the concrete. Everything else hurts so bad that you’re not bothered by the sediments digging through your skin. Venus is running towards you but she’s not quick enough, and you feel your eyes begin to slip. If this is what death feels like, then so be it. You hope that the girls’ mourning will be short, that they can still complete the ultimate mission, and--

“Don’t lay a fucking hand on her,” an angered, frustrated baritone spits out and you’re torn between laughing or crying. In a separate romantic context, you’d like the idea of wholeheartedly leaving your life in his hands. But in this reality when either of you could die at any moment and the world be consumed in darkness, it’s something you would never wish upon anyone. It’s a different situation than your bonds with the girls. 

The pain is enough to send you in and out of consciousness for the next few minutes. But strong, warm arms sit you up, though they’re slightly trembling and keeping you awake. “Hey, you okay? What happened to you? You’re stronger than this.” 

“G-great way of telling me, fuckthathurts, that I was...shit today,” you joke, but hiss when you try to move your legs and the deep scrapes scream in agony. 

“Take it easy, ‘kay? Or your princess is gonna have my head--”

“Thanks man, but we got it from here,” said princess interjects, hoisting you up with the help of the other girls. “You can go.”

“Speak of the devil,” Corpse chuckles and helps make the transfer less painful, a lot less awkward jostling around. “Look, I saved her--”

“And I said thank you. We’ll see you around,” your stubborn friend dismisses. 

“You’re welcome, baby.”

“Not your baby, piss off!”

3. “I’m always gonna be there for you, no matter what.”

It’s soft yet sonorous, deep yet light. Twilight hours are cast high above you both, separated by walls and buildings connected over wires and unseen forces. Technology is the sharpest, double-edged sword you’ve seen and used on this planet, because Corpse has never felt so close yet so far than in this moment. Your mind deludes you further by indulging in believing he’s right there next to you, strong arms holding you much like he did when you were on the brink of unconsciousness just two weeks ago.

Wishing, hoping, wanting. Dangerous, dangerous, dangerous.

The one year anniversary of your ex-lover’s death looms over you on another sleepless, caffeine-fueled night. It’s no surprise when his custom ringtone chimes softly throughout your room during these graveyard hours, but it certainly raises your eyebrows when after a minute or two, he asks tentatively, “Are you gonna go visit him?”

There’s no question as to who or where “him” is. You haven’t been since the funeral, if you’re honest, swept up by work, classes, and your new side job. But Corpse doesn’t know that, and you know it’d be the right thing to do. Maybe it’d help settle the storm of anxiety (or guilt?) that swirls in your gut on a daily basis. 

“I think so,” you reply quietly after a moment of silent contemplation, already thinking ahead to what the drive might be like. “He deserves better.”

“Do you want me to come with you?”

Charming, compassionate, thoughtful, absolutely too good for this world -- the three-letter affirmation nearly slips off your tongue without a second thought. You can’t risk him seeing you, putting two and two together, and potentially forever losing him to his long-lost princess. Selfish delusion creeps through your veins and you fight back the shiver of guilt that runs down your spine. 

“I think I’ll be okay. Might be a visit made best alone, but I really appreciate you even asking.”

“Let me know if you change your mind. You know I’m always gonna be there for you, no matter what. Right?”

Warmth. Strength. Oblivion. 

“I know. Thank you.”

4. “I don’t have anyone else but you.”

“Why are we doing this again?”

“Because we can’t sleep and have nothing better to do.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” you chuckle into your phone, free hand swirling a pot of instant ramen. “I have better things to do at 3 in the morning than watch The Poltergeist with you.” 

“Then go fucking do it,” Corpse laughs teasingly. 

“And leave you high and dry? I don’t have the heart.”

“I mean, you really don’t have to--”

“Seriously, I was awake anyways. Just giving you shit.”

“One of these days, you’re gonna fucking regret it.”

Ramen done and lamp on, you snuggle beneath your blanket and start the traditional countdown to pressing ‘play’ on the movie. Neither of you really had the technology to screen share on this Discord call (your laptop is almost on its last leg and your apartment WiFi can be spotty at times), so it seemed better this way. 

The next roughly 2 hours are filled with laughter, small jump scare yelps, and quiet yelling at the ignorance and twisted logic of horror movie characters. But towards the end of the movie (and arguably the climax), your eyelids start to droop, body succumbing to the warmth of your bed. The screaming and cheesy, orchestrated music are all background noise as your breathing evens out, shifting in and out of consciousness. Ending credits roll on screen before you know it, and the only think that rips you awake is Corpse’s gentle calling of your name. 

“Sorry, fell asleep,” you murmur tiredly and squint at your screen, languidly closing out the window and letting the Discord window take precedence. “Tells you how riveting I found this movie.”

“Should’ve just let you sleep, my bad,” he chuckles. “Thanks for staying up with me.” 

“Yeah of course -- I wanted to, just got a little sleepy. Wanna watch another one?”

“ ‘m actually gonna try to sleep. Don’t wanna bother you too much. You got work tomorrow?”

“Not ‘til noon so it’s okay. You sure?” 

“Yeah...yeah. I’ve only had like...3 hours of sleep lately. Fucking awful.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

“You do enough by just letting me call at the fucking crack of dawn, seriously.”

“I’m your only option, let’s be real,” and your voice is a mix of fatigue, humor, and some bitter sardonicism. There’s no malice intended, and you really hope it’s conveyed accurately. 

“...I don’t have anyone else but you,” he all but murmurs. Your heart clenches painfully, anxiety and fear and love surging through your lungs. Those words don’t hold the connotation you desperately wish for, but what matters most is that he knows he’s not alone and you’re not the only one he’s got. You verbalize as such and he only hums back in a façade of agreement before wishing you a good night. 

And sometimes, while you do know that your girls have your back and that you love them to death and would take a bullet for them any day, there are nights where you really do feel the same.

That you have no one else but Corpse. 

5. “He was never yours.”

There’s nothing you hate more than psychological monsters. You’d probably take physical pain over mind games any day because at least, it’d heal faster to some degree, or there would be a more surefire way of minimizing symptoms. But sometimes, there are days when the egotistical chess players of hell come to wreck havoc on the world, and you get lost in their trap. It’s annoying, a pain in the ass, and affects you a lot more than it should at times. 

This particular instance makes you want to quit. It makes you, Sailor fucking Mars, guardian of the planet of fire and passion and perseverance, leave all of this behind right here and now. You’ve never hated yourself more for feeling so weak. 

You’re not sure what to call it -- altered dimension, distorted reality -- but all you know is that you and the princess are kept in separate cages hanging from an endless ceiling, labelled as baits for tuxedo mask/Corpse to come. The enemy lets you both stew in the confines of the metal, watching with glee as your partner attempts to cut through the rails with her tiara and ultimately fail. It seems they’ve thought of everything because you’re not their #1 enemy today. Or maybe you are. You’re not sure anymore, even as they launch into villainous speech. 

“Nothing brings me more joy than watching you lose all your energy to fight, both physically and mentally. I’ve seen all your dreams and wishes. Nothing’s more fickle and double-edged than love, no? We shall see who the prince really belongs to.”

Mention of the prince has you snapping your head to meet the enemy’s eyes, slowing squinting as they catch yours and begin cackling like your demise is racing at the speed of an oncoming train. Your princess looks confused, but dread is heavy mercury filling your veins because you know, you know, your best held secret is coming to fruition. 

“What the fuck are they talking about?” She hisses across the void. 

“I don’t know,” you lie through your teeth, eyes flicking toward every corner of the cage now to find a way out. This isn’t how you wanted it to happen, much less happen at all. 

“Are they talking about Corpse?”

“Is there any other prince they’re referring to?”

“Do you always have to be a smartass with me?”

“Somebody’s got to,” you allow yourself a slight reprieve of laughter. It’d be dumb to try to set fire to this thing, knowing you’d only burn yourself in the process. Your exorcism tags also have no use and you can hear the clock ticking down in your mind. 

“Think it’s pretty fucking rude to keep a couple of girls in cages, not gonna lie,” a baritone voice cuts through. It sends temporary sparks of relieve down your spine. Perhaps you’ll have a fighting chance to get out of here. 

“Welcome, welcome! I’d like to get straight to the point, but maybe we’ll up the stakes a little bit before you answer my question,” they tease cartoonishly and you want to roll your eyes.

“Is this a fucking test--”

Both you and sailor moon yelp as the cages drop into a miraculously (or not) appearing large body of water, but still hanging just above the surface so you have enough air to breathe. You look out and down to see how deep this pit is, and though it might be some elaborate illusion seemingly defying all laws of physics, you see nothing but descending darkness. You don’t even have to hear the question to know what the enemy is going for, to know that they’re trying to hit you where it hurts the most, and you loathe how cliché and goddamn unfair this whole situation has turned out to be. 

“So, dear prince. Pretend that the fate of the world depends on the princess. Before you are just two girls you know and care for, stuck, captured, and on the brink of drowning. You may only save one. Who would it be?”

It’s fucked up. Corpse seems stunned, perplexed by the question. “What the absolute fuck is this? Just let them go if you had an issue with me.”

“Quite frankly, I have an issue with allof you, so this is only fair. Now, what’s your answer?”

Corpse catches your eyes first. Is it from the water that your eyes seem to be brimming with unshed tears? Is it stubbornness or defeat in the way your hands clench around the cage bars?

And this is why, once again, you hate enemies who strictly play mind games. Confirmation that Corpse would never love you the way you do him, knowledge to the princess that she’s the source of your deepest unhappiness despite the bickering friendship, realization to Corpse that the girl he’s treasured so dearly and maybe unknowingly kept as a bit of a placeholder was doomed to love him -- pain on all of you, lashes and scars on what was once believed to be unbreakable bonds, as soon as the villain explains it all with sick glee. 

“Do I have to give you an answer?”

“If you don’t, I’ll really consider drowning them since I honestly wasn’t before.”

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

“Ah, just to make things a little more interesting -- I’m aware you and the princess speak regularly outside of all this.”

They what? This was certainly news to you. 

“And?” Corpse asks somewhat defensively. 

Don’t say it. Don’t tell him. Please don’t--

“Say Mars, don’t you enjoy those late night calls with him, too? Though I must say, meeting in a hospital while your ex-boyfriend is having life-altering emergency surgery seems rather morbid in its own respect.”

You don’t have to look at him to know and hear the gears turning in his brain, the villain allowing this brief silence to let everything sink in. There’s a disbelieving whisper of your name, your real name, but he’s cut off from saying anything more. 

“You have 10 seconds.” 

You know the stories. You know the couple’s tragic end in their previous lifetime. You know that as much as the princess denies feeling anything but annoyance towards Corpse, she looks forward to seeing him. There’s a certain softness that he treats her with, different from the platonic affection that he showers you in. You’ve lied to yourself for too long. 

The countdown has no chance to finish when Corpse spits out a name that’s not yours, your eyes squeezing shut to fight back the tears that threaten to flood over. Everything disappears and you land on your butt -- a quick sweep of your surroundings registers two things: Corpse running over to your princess and the villain standing proudly at the chaos they’ve created. It’s instinct that has brings your powers to surface, arms and fingers quickly notching a fiery arrow with pinpoint aim at the imaginary target on their head. “Move!” You yell at the two and they scramble to gather their bearings and avoid your rage. 

They don’t run or cower. The maniacal grin only grows wider and more sinister and you’re this close to screaming expletives. 

“Hurts, doesn’t it, to know that he was never yours?”

It’s the last thing they say before you release the arrow, watching with no remorse as they burn and disintegrate. When the dust disappears and the dimension shifts back to some abandoned building with an exit, you run. 

You run until your lungs burst, until they scream over the aching of your heart, until your costume dissolves and you’re finally buried under the blankets. You turn on ‘Do Not Disturb’ and only allow notifications from a select few important numbers.

And maybe you’ll keep running. Maybe you’ll go off the grid. Maybe you’ll let your voicemail inbox fill up with unheard messages, apologies that you don’t and never will deserve. 

But the love you feel and cherish will never fade. It’ll run alongside you; a bright, burning star, forever bittersweet--

Forever out of reach. 

[personasintro]

bellissima | knj

SYNOPSIS; once your husband finds the meaning behind your rejection, he’s having none of it

GENRE: fluff, smut, parents!au

PAIRING: namjoon x reader

WORD COUNT: 8.1k

WARNINGS: cunnilingus, unprotected sex, lactation kink, strong language, dirty talk, multiple orgasms

⏤> m.list

buy me a coffee?♡

You've never thought seeing a small baby, your baby, could melt your heart at the simplest things.

You remember when some of your friends got pregnant and had babies, the urge to have one of your own was never stronger. You were constantly surrounded by the tiny humans and even their loud and unstoppable crying wasn't enough to change your mind that it may've for some women. But all the feelings from the cuteness you've seen are million times stronger right now. Because this is not just some baby, this is your baby that you're seeing.

You watch your daughter laying on her tummy, trying to push up on her chubby arms. She groans, struggling a little bit as she drools onto her fluffy pink blanket that she lays on. She kicks her legs rather harshly, getting more active each day.

Just three months ago, you were carrying her inside your womb and it's almost miracle, how fast she grows. All those nine months filled with throwing up, morning sickness that lasted way more than just morning to your moody and bratty attitude that your husband had to put up with. An incredible husband who never seemed to be annoyed by you, fulfilling your demand or wish.  

“She's impatient,” he comments, his eyes shining at the sight of his daughter who seems to be angry. “I wonder who she got it from.” he adds teasingly, laughing when he sees you glaring at him but with amused grin on your lips.

You both sit on the floor next to each other, admiring your little angel that seems to be showing her personality much more these days. He pulls you closer, his arms draped against your shoulders as he softly places a kiss into your hair. You watch her for another few minutes, laughing at the cute grimaces she makes or when she shows you her gums, laughing at the both of you. She loves the sound of Namjoon's laugh. It always makes her smile and laugh along with you, without her even knowing what exactly it means. It feels magical to get to see her way of thinking, or simply just observe her while she's on her own. She yawns and starts to whine, her legs kicking even more as you sigh.

“Okay, missy. It's time for your nap.” you tell her, picking her up as she keeps whining before a sob escapes her small pouty lips.

“I can take her,” Namjoon says, already standing up dusting off his butt as he smiles at you. “Come on. Go rest.” he tells you, observing your tired eyes and the tiny bags under them.

It's been awhile since you got to properly relax. It makes him sad to see you that way, despite of seeing you happy and smiling whenever you're with your daughter. You're usually the one who wakes up in the middle of the night whenever she cries. It's not like he doesn't want to, but with you being on maternity leave, he's the only one who provides money for your family. He gets up early in the morning and comes later in the evening, so there's barely any time for you to be together. Weekends are exception, luckily. And as much as Namjoon lets you know how awful he feels about you taking care of your daughter alone, he's not right. You've spent an hour talking about it with him, persuading him that he's taking care of her as well. He makes sure you've a place to live and food on the table, that's as much important. Nobody said having a kid is easy, you both knew that.

Namjoon's natural caring personality isn't helping as you see him struggling over those things. There's nothing you can do that can change his mind of his way of thinking. He tries to help whenever he's around and today isn't exception.

He was the one who went to her crib when she started to cry in the morning. He let you sleep and fed her with the bottled milk you prepared, in case it's needed. You still breastfeed her, but it's convenient to have some milk in the fridge just in case.

You don't protest, Sunhi reaching towards her father as she stops crying. He takes her, cuddling her to his chest as he walks out of the living room. You take that time to lay down your exhausted body, putting on the latest episode of Riverdale. You're not really paying attention to the actual plot, your mind drifting elsewhere but you enjoy the silence. As much as you love your babygirl Sunhi, it's nice not to be on watch every second and just relax.

You hear Namjoon's humming and the sound of hanging toy that's placed on her crib, the sweet lullaby resounding behind your bedroom's door.

The track of time is lost, until you hear the bedroom door creaking as Namjoon silently tries to tiptoe not to wake his sleeping angel up.

“She won't wake up.” you chuckle, finding the image of him tiptoeing to the couch very amusing.

“Just in case.” he reasons, grinning as he hovers over your body before he slouches next to you.

The couch is not that big, but big enough to fit you both even though it's not as comfortable and he's close to actually falling down. “Thank you for taking care of her.” he says, pulling you closer to his chest as you happily cuddle to him.

Ever since Sunhi was born, you've barely had any time to enjoy your time alone with him. It's only natural for it to happen, with Namjoon's job and a newborn in your family. She's older now, but she still needs your whole attention and care.

“Of course.” you smile against his shirt, his scent comforts your senses and makes you close your eyes in delight.

Namjoon's hands rubs soothing circles into your back, kissing the top of your head every now and then before he tucks a finger under your chin to have a better look at you. You blush, even all those years of marriage underneath his warm eyes as he smiles, a deep dimple popping out of his cheek. His head dips down, the angle is awkward and probably uncomfortable for his neck but he still presses his lips to yours. What seemed like an innocent peck, he deepens the kiss as he starts kissing you slowly. His hands move against your hips and he moves you onto his body, taking your space with his tall and huge one. You giggle, surprised by the sudden movement as he does the same before he continues with kissing you. But this time, his hands move down to your ass before he grips it with a slight groan to your lips. It makes you flustered, the single sound muffled by your lips makes you squirm in your spot. The thin material of his black sweatpants makes it easier for you to feel his hardening length against your abdomen. The sound of your mouths colliding with each other is the only sound you can hear, the TV show is long forgotten.

“Fuck, baby.” he murmurs against your lips, his breath shuddered against your mouth.

You see the glint in his eyes, the way his lips are already swollen and red from all the kissing and his breathing is quickened. He wants you. You see desire in his eyes mimicking yours as well. Your foreheads bump into each other once you're met with your lips against, his tongue moving smoothly in your mind as he makes sure to bite onto your lower lip and slightly tug it which only makes you moan. You're so distracted that you barely feel his hand sleeping down your leggings and panties, his fingers brushing past your ass cheeks before you feel him on your slit. Gasping into his mouth, you shake against him from the familiar but almost forgotten feeling.

It's been awhile since he has touched you this way, but you know it's been all your doing. Ever since your gynecologist gave you the green light for sex, you barely mentioned it to Namjoon. You were – and still are – craving for his touch but your dumb self-consciousness and the lack of confidence is the huge barrier that prevents you to truly feel connected with your husband.

But Namjoon isn't dumb. He knows he can touch you now and was initiating his need for you couple of times. But you've always brushed it off and chickened out which left you embarrassed, curled in your sheets to hide the guilt from your face. The great husband he is, he never pressured you into anything and haven't talk to you about it. He sensed something's not right and if you wanted to talk about it, you would. He gave you space, barely touching you this way. Your times together were filled with occasional kisses and innocent brush of his hands, but other than that it was nothing.

You desired him like you always have, even during your pregnancy. That was the time you had sex almost every day, blaming it on the hormones that made you feel extra horny for your husband. More than usual, of course. Even back then, you were pretty self-consciousness about your weight which isn't that much of a surprise, not when your stomach is bloated as if you swallowed a huge balloon. It surprised you how your husband was barely affected by the huge barricade between you two. Sex became more tough with each day and there was only small amount of positions you could try and even more less that actually worked. Namjoon didn't mind it. He told you that you look more than attractive with his baby inside of you.

But now there's no baby inside of you and you're left with all the fat that still remained from the pregnancy.

“Fuck,” Namjoon gasps, your mouth falls open in shock as he slips his finger past your folds and inside of you, your walls wrap around him immediately. “How are you even tighter?” he thinks out loud, not really waiting for any real answer when he starts pumping his finger in and out of you, your head falling to his chest.

A shaky breathes leaves your mouth as he pulls out, circling his finger around your slit.

“Tell me,” he breathes out. “Tell me you want me.”

He won't continue unless you fulfill his wish, but still pinches your clit as you groan into his chest that vibrates with low chuckle. “Say it, Y/N.”

He's impatient, hazily reminding you of your daughter that he so thought she got her impatience from you. You almost want to mention it but stop, when he does it again but this time with much more pressure leaving you breathless.

“Fuck, yes, yes. Touch me. I want you.” you chant, your face hidden against his shirt that you almost drool on.

You fulfill his wish, so he gently tries to pry you off his chest as he clumsily stands up. You lay on your back, watching him stare at you before he hooks his fingers underneath the hem of your leggings. There's no time to protest, he's too quick and impatient to get that piece of clothing off you. He throws it somewhere behind him, his eyes purely focused on you while he watches you like you're the piece of art. He admires you but all you see are his eyes on you, without thinking you're ready to reach for a blanket that's lazily sprawled against the couch's back but Namjoon is too quick. Spreading your legs, he places himself between them as he tries to make himself as much comfortable as he can.

“Joon,” you softly speak, shifting on the couch. Not from desire that's between your legs but from the lack of confidence of your current state.

You're exposed in the daylight, sun blazing your skin through the window directed to you. All those thoughts and marks that are craved into your skin are long forgotten, especially when he places a kiss on your clothed center. You gasp, your fingers already in his hair as he starts to lick the material.

“Mhm, I can smell you.” he says, digging his nose against your clit, the pressure makes you see stars and he barely touched you.

It's been a long fucking time and you're aware it's your fault. He could've touched you like this days ago, but you always refused him. Maybe he's needy because you haven't touched him for three months. It was weird to propose a blowjob to him, especially when you turned him down for sex. The guilt and the hurt on his face was too much, you wouldn't be able to focus on anything.

“Joon,” you whine, embarrassingly covering your reddened face, away from your chuckling and amused husband who reaches for the hem of your cotton panties. If you knew today would turn out like this, you'd at least wear something nicer. Ever since you were pregnant and pretty sensitive down there, the tongs and all the sexy lingerie hidden in your drawers were long forgotten.

“What? You do smell nice.” he says, making you even more embarrassed but that was his plane and he cheekily grins when he sees he succeed.

Once again, you're distracted by your husband that glows in the daylight, even after spending the most of your night carrying Sunhi so you could sleep. He managed to drink two cups of coffee this morning but you're the one who makes him awake. The sight of you, the sight he hasn't seen for so long, is enough to push all the tiredness away.

Distracted as you can be, he already takes off your panties as they smoothly slides from your legs that you luckily shaved last night. Not having sex had its perks, and shaving was one of them. It's not like you weren't shaving, that wasn't one of the perks, especially when Namjoon touched you all the time. The last thing you want for him is to feel repulsed by your haired legs. You just didn't do it as often as you used to, knowing there wouldn't be anything more than just innocent touches.

His lips are coated with more shine, his tongue licking his plump lips at the sight in front of him. He's ready to dive in, looking like an hungry man that's about to have his feast, before you clasp your legs so tight and fast that you almost crash his head.

“Woah!” he exclaims, looking like a deer at you as you sheepishly grin.

It's just defense mechanism to hide your embarrassment and nervousness. But you expose yourself when you can't meet his doe eyes and innocent, but mostly shocked look.

“Baby,” he says, his hand gently places over your thighs as he massages all those marks that are engraved into your skin. It makes you feel even awful, wondering if he can feel the slight bumpiness that those stretch-marks have. “What's wrong?”

He's quick to catch on that something's not right. Maybe this is just another time that you close on him, simply telling him that you're too tired for sex. But you two got already so far and you panicked all of a sudden. He's been your husband for six years, he knows there's something not right with his wife when she can barely meet his eyes. You were never this distant as those past few months. He even wondered if it's because you weren't ready for a baby. You both planned it, but the whole thing is completely new to the both of you. Maybe you regret having his baby. Even those kind of thoughts occurred his mind during night or even his breaks at work.

“If you don't want me to touch you, just say it. I won't be mad.”

The warmth that spreads in your heart is calming, but not enough as you cringe at his words. He thinks you don't want him to touch you. He's completely wrong about that. You do want him to touch you, devour you like he used to for all these years. There is no secret that sex life with him is hell of a drive. Even your friends know that, especially Seokjin that walked on you during one of the camping trips you attended. It was pretty embarrassing for the both of you, but you don't care. It was worth it, despite of all the jokes that your friend keeps bringing to till this day.

Sighing, he slightly pulls away leaving your skin cold and shuttering when the cold air hits your exposed skin. You panic, his name falling out of your lips automatically. Other husband would be probably mad, or at least annoyed by another rejection but you're just met with soft smile telling you that it's okay. You know he means it, just by a simple smile without telling the actual words.

But it's not okay. You're not okay for pushing your husband because of your insecurity.

“It's just--It's me, not you,” you start, cringing again at those cheesy words that you just let out from your mouth. He watches you and although, he gave you a reassuring smile a few seconds ago, he focuses on you. And you know, that he wants to hear what you have to say. He doesn't push you, he doesn't say anything but you can see it in his eyes. “Ever since I gave birth, I uh,” you breathe out, slowly sitting up as you hastily reach for the blanket and cover up yourself. “I don't feel beautiful enough.” you finish slowly, looking up at him as he silently watches you.

There's hurt crossing over his features as he eyes the blanket and for a moment, you think this is it. He's going to be mad, or finally show some other emotion instead of kindness.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” His voice booms out the living room causing you to flinch at the explicit language he just used. You're opening your mouth, your fingers slightly trembling that are grabbing the blanket more tightly. You're not sure what to say, but apology is the first thing that crosses your mind but before you can say it out loud, Namjoon is ahead of you. “You don't feel beautiful enough? What kind of bullshit it that?” he frowns, suddenly showing you not so positive reaction.

You're embarrassed, especially because you're his main focus right now. But he deserves to know. He has to know what's been going on in your mind. He's your husband, the love of your life, after all. You already feel awful enough to hide it from him.

“Joon, look at me.” you mumble, glancing at the pictures that hangs on the wall.

There a lot of memories of you two, from the time you dated to till this day. There are a few pictures that Namjoon has taken himself, your favorite one is a set of cherry blossom tress that Namjoon adores. He captured it on your first trip to Italy.

“I am looking,” he says, denseness laced with his suddenly low and raspy voice. “But I'm not sure what you mean.”

He's smart and you just wish he'd actually see it without you talking or showing it to him. Maybe he's doing this purposely, trying to voice your concerns but when you look at him, all you see is that same denseness that's in his voice. He doesn't know.

“My body is not what it used to be. I've stretch-marks all over my stomach that won't probably go away or even fade. They're on my thighs,” you fish out your one thigh under the blanket to point at the proof. “My stomach is fat and I can't seem to loose it. My face is still chubby and fuck, I don't even know how it looks down there!” your voice raises, all the irritation that's been bubbled up inside of you is finally free.

But you still feel the same weight on you, despite of you speaking loudly about your concerns.

“Baby,” Namjoon murmurs, his voice soft and realization hits his face as he looks at you with emotion that you despite right now. Pity. “You're the most beautiful woman I've ever laid my eyes on. Before and after birth.” he says, your immediate reaction is a scoff.

“Yeah, right.” you roll your eyes, but still fumble with your fingers nervously.

“Y/N,” his tone changes, his voice stern as he makes you to look at him. “You gave me the most beautiful daughter I could ever ask for. A daughter that's beautiful because of you. You really think I fucking care about some stretch-marks? Or your stomach fat? I love you just the way you are. Is this the reason why you pushed me away?”

You don't have time to blush from his words, your mind still racing on your own as you can't bring yourself to believe him that easily. Namjoon is one of the kindest and most caring people you've ever known. He's been always there to assure you whenever you had doubts about something, or were just sad. If it wasn't for him, you would never get over some things like you did with his help. But maybe, just maybe, this is one of the same scenarios. He's just trying to be kind and tell you that you're beautiful. No man surely thinks a woman who used to be more beautiful, is not beautiful with all those imperfections covering her body.

Still, you shamelessly nod not meeting his eyes again. “I'm sorry.” you bite into your lip, not wanting to cry right now.

“No,” he shakes his head, scooting closer to you and almost crushing your legs in the process which he quickly apologizes for. You can't even muster a smile and he's quick to see it. “I'm sorry that I haven't realized that you feel this way.”

Your head snaps to his direction, your eyes wide as you shake your head. “It's not your fault, I wasn't very vocal about it. I was mostly embarrassed and didn't know how to tell you.” you tell him, your heart pounding against your chest.

“There's no need for you to be embarrassed. It's me, your Joonie,” he reminds you, using a nickname you often call him. It's enough to curve the corners of your lips up, touched by it. “You can tell me anything and let me tell you, you're so fucking hot.”

“Joon!” you gasp with widened eyes, surprised by the sudden confession.

“No, I'm serious,” he quickly says. “You gained some weight while pregnant and you managed to loose some of it, but you still have it in the right places. You're so fucking hot, you drive me crazy and you don't even realize it. Do you have any idea how many times I beat my meat in the shower?”

You laugh, thinking he's joking but once you're met with his determined eyes and look of confusion why you're laughing, your laugh dies down. “What? You did?”

It's hard to believe he did such thing. You'd surely heard him, right?

“I did,” he admits almost proudly. “Many, many times. You've no idea, do you? You've no idea what you do to me.”

You slowly shake your head, confusingly staring at your husband that reaches to cup your cheek. You place your hand over his, leaning into his touch as your fingers trace the ring around his finger. He slowly takes your hand, shamelessly placing it over his hardened bulge that's covered and tucked in his sweatpants. You gasp, surprised that he's even this hard after the whole conversation.

“You did this to me.” he says, your tongue automatically comes out of your mouth to moisturize your dry lips.

You cup him, feeling him twitch against your touch and he shakily breathes out. He's trying to control himself, the simple sight and sound he just made is enough to make you squirm in your spot. You're already wet, but the feeling of his clothed cock makes you even more wetter as you feel a trace of wetness staining your panties.

The sudden urge to touch him, taste him, floods your mind and you're already straightening yourself. “I've to take care of it then.” you lowly say, looking up at him through your lashes as he curses under his breath.

Ah, fuck. How he wishes for you to touch him, to take him into your mouth so he can feel the warmth of it. But this is not about him.

“Later,” he says, slowly hovering over you as he gently pushes you down, your back meeting the cushions again before he kisses you. “I need to take care of you.”

Reaching for the blanket, he takes it off throwing it to the side while throwing off the tv remoter. It hits the floor, the loud bang resounding around the living room making the both of you pause. “Sorry.” he sheepishly apologizes, making you silently giggle at his clumsiness.

“Oh, no, no, Mrs. Kim. Now is not the time to laugh,” he chuckles, spreading your legs as he suddenly straightens up, taking off his shirt.

You're gawking at the sight of his caramel skin and toned body, your mouth salivating immediately at your husband. Your husband. How did you get so lucky?

He lays down onto his stomach, between your legs, to your disappointment hiding his wonderful body from you making you pout. He doesn't see it, his eyes focused in front of him. “Fuck, you're so wet. Were you this wet every time I touched you?” he looks up, your breath hitching at his stern look.

You're amazed how many different personas he has, especially this one when he's ready to devour you. It's almost shame to think that the last time you've seen him this way was a few weeks before you gave birth.

His question brings you back to all those times you were sexually frustrated, just from the single smell of his aftershave and warm coming from his body when he innocently cuddled you, was enough to drive you crazy. Some women says that once you give birth, you're not so sexually crazed as while being pregnant. Well, it was the complete opposite for you. You were ready to jump his bones just a few weeks after you gave birth, still when it wasn't safe enough to actually have sex. You still felt the ache between your legs every now and then, but it doesn't mean you didn't get wet. How can you not when your husband is the definition of God?

“Yes.” you shamelessly admit, watching the way his lips curls into a cocky smirk, proud of your confession.

“You should've told me. I would take care of my wife so well.” he says lowly, his breath fanning against your core as you whimper.

“Joon,” you call out to him, his eyes flickering to yours. “I-I'm not sure how it looks down there.” you embarrassingly admit. You just have to be more open with him and you know he'd never laugh at you for your concerns and thoughts.

You gave a natural birth to Sunhi, an actual human came out of your vagina. There's no way it looks the same, considering the stitches you had.

“Well I can tell you, that it looks fucking amazing.” he says, biting his lower lip as his eyes are already set between your legs.

“Namjoon!” you exclaim, hiding your face and flushed cheeks with your palms.

He chuckles, kissing one of the stretch-marks on your left thigh. “You really look fucking amazing.” he says with honesty, enough to calm down your nerves.

It's not like you grabbed a mirror and observed how you look down there. You were too scared of the result you'd see.

“Will you let me to make you feel good? To show you how fucking beautiful and sexy woman you are?” he says, nibbling on the skin of your thigh while he's looking up at you through hooded eyes.

“Y-yeah.” you tell him, nodding. All the insecurity and negative thoughts are washed away, all of a sudden that you can't believe that it miraculously went away. But that's because Namjoon is a miracle. Your miracle.

He doesn't waste time, but doesn't rush to taste you either as he makes sure you feel his every touch. He starts with kissing your thighs, slowly moving to your abdomen and stomach, peppering kisses and nudging the material of your t-shirt with his nose.

“Hmm, this should've been already off.” he hums against your skin and you're quick to obey, helping him to take it off.

He successfully, with your help, manages not to rip another piece of your or his clothing, and he's right back in his previous spot. He hovers over you, eyeing your naked breasts with already perked nipples.

“I love how bigger they got.” he says, sending you a glance before he dives down to take your nipple into his warm mouth.

“Ah, mhm,” you moan out at his tongue that flickers over your sensitive nipple. “They'll get saggy.” you still point out, already feeling and seeing the difference from your previous perky breasts.

“I'll love them either way.” he says, moving to the other nipple to repeat the same process as he suddenly sucks.

You yelp with a surprise, your milk coming out of your breast as Namjoon tastes it with a followed moan. “Mhm, so fucking good.” he groans, his fingers slowly coming down to your clit as he circles it with slow and steady movement.

You're moaning, gripping his hair that got long at the back, while he tastes your milk. It's not the first time he has done it. He tasted it couple of times while you were still pregnant. The first time it was by a curiosity that quickly turn to a pleasure for the both of you. It felt fucking amazing to feel his lips against your nipple, sucking it. It brought a relief and your breasts didn't feel that full and tense anymore.

“Fuck, you're dripping.” he comments, collecting some of your wetness that leaked out of your tight hole before he pushes his finger in.

He goes back to your breasts, your back arching as his whole face is pressed against your chest. “Joon, leave something for Sunhi.” you remind your obviously distracted husband who pulls out with a pop, his lips coated with your milk.

“Daddy needs his fill too.” he simple says, but still listens to you as he attaches his lips to your neck instead.

He adds another finger, your walls wrapping tight around him as you mewl at the feel of his long and slim fingers. He moves down, nipping at the valley of your breasts slowly coming down your stomach. Pulling out his fingers, you whine in protest which he simply reacts with amused chuckle before he parts your legs wider to fit his body more properly. Kissing your clit is all enough for you to arch your back at the feeling, as he places his palm against your abdomen to keep you down. It doesn't take him long after he starts licking a long stripe against your slit, repeating the movement for a few times before he pushes his muscle inside of you. He tastes you, lapping at juices that manages to drip down like some hungered man.

“Fuck, I missed this.” he makes sure to say it, before he's back to fucking you with his tongue.

You really missed this. You're squirming, the same familiar feeling that used to be almost unfamiliar is back, and you're reminded of all those times Namjoon went down on you. He groans against you, the vibrations making you even more sensitive and closer to your end as you grip his hair even tighter. Namjoon moans into your cunt in praise, loving how rough you get when he goes down on you. You can't manage to buckle your hips up as you usually would, his movements are so fast that you're frozen and simply enjoying how it feels. You start uncontrollably clenching knowing you're nearing your end, much more faster than you used to, but it's just because it's been a long time and you're sensitive. It almost feels as if you were a virgin again, having a first intercourse ever.

“Namjoon!” It's his name that leaves your mouth and the first thing you can think of, instead of any curse, as you're cumming.

He makes sure to lap at everything you just gave him, your grip around his hair slowly loosening as you're coming down your high. Your eyes are closed, but you can feel him shift and hover over you as he kisses you. You can taste yourself on his tongue, but you don't mind it.

“That was fucking amazing.” he says against your lips, kissing down your neck again as you try to calm down your breathing.

“Shouldn't I be the one who says it?” you chuckle, your body hot against his warm one as you wrap your arms around his frame.

“Mhm, you could. To boost my ego, of course.” he jokingly says, his hardened length brushing against your exposed core.

Biting your lip, you open your mouth to praise your husband and thank him for making you feel so perfectly free, when soft cries echoes throughout the room. You sigh, obviously down that you can't continue or at least return your favor. Namjoon stands up, brushing his hair up as he doesn't bother to throw on his shirt.

“I'll be right back.” he simply says, walking to your bedroom and crying daughter that's been most likely waken up by your loud moans.

You feel awful for not trying to be quiet. It completely slipped out of your mind that there's Sunhi sleeping in the next room.

The familiar hum is muffled, but you smile at the sound despite of Namjoon's awful singing skills. You lay there, waiting for him to come back but once your body is met with cold and shiver running down your spine, you stand up looking around the room. There is a mess, your clothes along with Namjoon's shirt is scattered all over the living room. For a second, you forgot how messy he gets when he's horny.

You're about to pick up your t-shirt that's thrown on the floor, when you hear door opening and Namjoon's low voice. “What are you doing?”

“Umm, dressing up?” you ask confusingly, watching his brows furrow as he shows his disapproval.

He probably expected a blowjob or something, the realization hits your features. You wanted to dress up and leave him hanging again. It's not like you've done it purposely or was about to do it. As you're about to propose him a blowjob in return, he beats you to it.

“I'm not done with you.”

A blood rushes through your body, heating it up again just from the single tone and words that makes you shiver in excitement. “Yeah?” you ask him quietly, with a little bit of hope as he grins.

“Of course.” he nods, slowly walking towards you before he grips your hips and squeezes them to prove his point.

“But what about Sunhi?” you ask quietly, this time fully focused on the toddler sleeping in the next room.

“She's sleeping,” he says, slowly leading you to a couch with your back as you only seem to manage to stare into his sparkling eyes full of mischief. “Besides, she's not stopping me tonight.”

And with that, you yelp as your back meets the couch and Namjoon is hovering over you again, showing you that he has no plans about stopping. You're kissing each other with such need and passion that's been collected through all those months before properly touching each other like this. His lips are sweetly intoxicating, needy for your own as he doesn't miss any spot of your already swollen lips. Your hands are on his bare back, touching and gripping his firm muscles there as he keeps kissing you like your lives depend on it.

“What do you want me to do?” he asks breathlessly, pulling away from your reddened lips that were attacked with his own just a second ago.

“Fuck me, Joon.” you tell him with the same lack of breath, that he managed to knock out of you as he always does.

You don't wait for him to make a first move, your fingers already pulling off his sweatpants. He's not wearing anything underneath, his firm cock springs out of the single material with easiness as you look down at him. His tip is read and swollen, needy for any attention and touch, while your lips curls in guilt. You left your husband hanging, not giving him the attention he deserves and for that, you're going to make it up to him. If your stupid insecurity wasn't in the way, you'd never had to have that conversation with him. But even despite of it, you're glad you had it. He made you feel and still makes you feel beautiful, you needed that.

You tug onto his cock, his head dropping down as he sharply inhales of your hand wrapped around him.

“I'm sorry, Joonie. I won't ever leave you like this again.” you tell him, watching the way his face scowls at every tug and movement you make with your fist.

“Stop.” he gasps, pulling off you all of a sudden and you slightly begin to panic from his demand.

Does he not want to continue?

“I already...” he tries to explain, the back of his neck getting red as he looks away from your already knowing eyes. “I want to feel you wrapped around me.”

The grin is gone, swapped with darkened gaze as you gulp quickly nodding, agreeing with him. You can't wait any longer. The burn inside of you is getting too strong, the throbbing in the pit of your stomach makes you feel like you're suffocating.

“How do you want me?” he asks, caring as always even during this situation that only makes your heart warm.

How did you get so lucky?

“I want to ride you,” you answer, his eyes widening as he stumbles over his words.

“Fuck, yeah, yeah, okay. Let's do that.” he says, already pushing himself back as he sits and leans against the couch back.

You watch him get rid off his sweatpants, throwing them on the coffee table without care. All he cares about is you. His woman and wife that slowly goes to sit down on his lap, his cock hitting his stomach as you finally sit down onto his thighs.

This way, you're able to control your movements more than in any other position and although, you know Namjoon would never purposely hurt you, it's been awhile since you had sex. Your cunt was burning just from his two fingers, how are you able to take his huge cock?

“Are you ready to go?”

His fingers gets down between your legs, pulling them away completely coated with your sleek as you sheepishly grin at him. That's the answer he needed, before you're positioning him between your legs. Namjoon helps you guide himself into your thigh hole but he doesn't push, simply letting those actions up to you.

Gasping, when you feel his head poking your entrance and deciding that you can't wait longer, you slowly drop down. Not fully though, the stretch of his head is burning even though you're dripping down his length.

“Take your time.” he reminds you, holding your hips for more support. His chest heaves as he tries to control his own body, not buckling his hips into yours.

The burn is mixed with pain and pleasure, and you're not able to wait anymore. Slowly, you fully drop onto him while his length is deeply seated inside of you. Your walls clench around him so tightly, that you don't think this will work.

“Relax,” he breathes out, massaging circles into your lower back with his hands. “You need to relax, baby.” he guides you, your forehead dropping against his as you shakily inhale.

He repeats it, caressing your skin as if you were the most fragile thing in the world, until he feels you relax around him.

“Whenever you're ready.” he reminds you softly before you shakily nod.

Using his broad shoulders, you push up with only his shaft inside of you before you drop down, creating a perfect rhythm for the both of you. The feeling of his length stretching your walls makes you gasp and moan into his mouth, that he desperately attaches to yours to keep you quiet.

Your knees are digging into the soft cushions on your sofa, that unpleasantly rubs against your skin but you ignore it. Namjoon's hands are holding your hips, helping you with the pace once he notices your already tired state. You're both panting, the skin to skin sounds echoes around the apartment, but you're too focused on chasing your pleasure to even feel embarrassed by it. It's been so fucking long since you felt him this way and you miss it.

“I won't be able to last long.” Namjoon pants, grunting once you circle your hips, your walls clenching around his throbbing cock.

“Me neither.” you tell him, halting your movements as you stare into his hooded eyes.

You're both so fucked up and you only started. That thought should make you laugh, because it's quite funny. But your eyes are filled nothing with love and warmth as you stare at your husband who seems to be confused by your sudden stop, before he softly kisses you.

“I love you so much.” he tells you for the hundredth time today and you can't help but happily giggle.

It never gets old – hearing him saying those words of love to you.

“I love you so fucking much.” you tell him, his smile stretching as his dimple pops out while his eyes sparkle.

“Switch?” he asks, noticing your heavy breathing and with no hesitation you nod.

You're being pushed down, causing you to squeak in surprise through the grin that matches to the one that Namjoon has. He hover over you, kissing your nose, lips and neck before he slowly guides himself back to your warmth. He makes sure his mouth is on yours as he does this, muting your moans mixed with his with his mouth.

“I really wanna go slow and make a love to you. But I--”

“No, fuck me. I need you, Joonie. Fuck me.” you desperately tell him with rushed tone.

You really want him to fuck you, plus, you don't have that much time to go slow and all sensitive. You waited long enough for this, there's no time.

“As you wish,” Is all he says before he starts pulling out and smashing his hips into yours.

Your whole body shifts causing you to gasp at the impact, but most importantly from how deep his cock is. You can almost feel him in your stomach and for a moment, you're not sure if you're going to survive this. But why shouldn't you? You fucking pushed a baby out of you.

When Namjoon indicated he wants to fuck you, he wasn't lying. He goes merciless on you, his hands gripping your waist so tight that your skin hurts but you don't mind. It drives you even more crazy and makes you clench around him so tight, that tears prickle your eyes.

“Fuck, how are you still so tight?” Namjoon grunts as you watch him through hooded eyes harshly biting his bottom lip.

His hair is attached to his forehead with sweat, your bodies getting sweaty as they collide with each other. Your pelvic bone smashes against his, but you wrap your legs around his waist even more while your nails find their way to his back. He groans at the feeling of them digging into his back, his cock twitching inside of you.

“Fuck, baby,” he chokes out, your pants hitting his face as you can't bring yourself to say something.

“You're so fucking beautiful,” he continues through his heavy breathing, not caring how he barely can breathe.

It's like telling you all those stuff is much more important than breathing. And with Namjoon, you know that's the case.

“I love these hips,” he grunts, leaning down to kiss and grab your hips even tighter to emphasize his words.

Gasping into his mouth, the tears flow down your cheeks at the love and pleasure you're receiving while he keeps repeating how beautiful you and your body are. It makes you feel overwhelmed with so much love and before you can think about holding your orgasm, the knot in your stomach snaps and you're cumming around him.

“Fuck, that's it, baby. That's it.” he says, having a hard time to fuck you through your orgasm when you're clenching so tight.

He chases his own orgasm which follows seconds after you, his movements sloppy and not so swift anymore as he quickly pulls out and cums all over your stomach.

It's painted white as he squeezes the last remains of his orgasm on your skin. Your stomach moves heavily up and down alongside with your breathing, wide Namjoon smudges his cum with his cock. You watch him in awe, chuckling at his concentrated face while his chin moves forward.

“All I said is true,” His tone is soft, joining to the sounds of your panting.

He reaches towards his shirt that's thrown on the floor and wipes his cum off your skin as you smile at him. “You really are beautiful.”

You sit up, pulling him closer to you as you kiss him to show him your gratitude. “As our favorite picture?” you tease him, looking back at the picture that's hanging on the floor.

He knows what you're hinting at. He stands in front of it almost every day, admiring the picture he took on your Italy trip.

“Bellissima,” he suddenly says, causing your brows to scrunch in confusion. “It's the name of the picture.”

“Really?” You don't hide a shock from the new information. “I didn't know that.”

“It's written in my handwriting on the back.” he sheepishly grins and you can't hide your grin.

You stare at the picture, admiring it as if you're seeing it for the first time – which you're not.

“It's named after you, y'know,” he says with softer smile this time, chuckling when he sees your widened eyes. You look back at him, his soft warm eyes focused on you. “You're in the picture.”

“What? No.” you exclaim, walking towards the picture completely naked but it's not like you care. And you're sure Namjoon appreciates the view because when you turn around to glance at him, he's ogling you from head to toe.

He coughs, ears red that he just got caught and quickly walks to you. “You can barely see yourself, but you kept walking admiring the trees when I took it.” he explains, pointing to the middle of the picture.

Squinting your eyes, you stare at the distant figure before you gasp in realization. You've seen that picture thousand times but you never noticed it, nor thought you are in it. “And you named it bellissima because...?” you trail off.

“Because you're the most beautiful woman, in and out.” he sheepishly says.

It's so cheesy but you can't bring yourself to cringe at it, not when your husband is so freaking love with you and never fails to remind you. You were stupid to never talked to him about your insecurities.

“But why bellissima though?” you ask, intertwining your fingers as you kiss him knuckles.

“It's in Italian. And we were in Italy so..” he trails off while you nod at him in understatement. “It's not romantic, but it was the only thing I could think of.”

“No, it's amazing. Thank you.” you say with smile, looking up at his confused features.

“For what?”

“Just for being you.” you tell him, causing him to bite his lip as he tries to prevent the boyish grin making its appearance on his plump lips.

He leans down, ready to kiss you but before he could, soft cries resounds from the room making the both of you sigh.

“I got it,” he tells you, already putting some clothes with quick movements. Since his shirt is stained, he stays topless.

You're ready to argue and as if he could sense that, he turns around just when his hand is wrapped around the door knob. And before his broad naked back disappears behind door, he makes sure to tell you one thing with a sly smirk on his lips.

“Go lay down, bellissima. I'm not done with you.”

[straymackerel]

Hello hello!! Youre writing style is super beautiful and you are a treasure to the BSD community! It would be really awesome if you could do some headcanons with Dazai and Chuuya (separate) with s/o's that work with them at the ADA/PM? It would be cool if they had like high and active positions at each job and maybe even with Chuuya his s/o is an exec.

I really hope this isn't too much, and if it is youre always welcomed to, y'know, not do it lol. - 🦢

“and they were coworkers”

➽─{ahhg—heavy handed with the praise aren’t we? i guess i could get used to that 😚 in dazai’s case i made y/n another detective}─❥

• pawns his work off to virtually everyone but you.

• sometimes he slips your own papers into other people’s piles despite the amount of times you’ve explicitly told him not to.

• you go on cafe dates all. of. the. time. he pretends to bring along work to do at the uzumaki, but all he does is flirt with you once you’re actually there.

• you eventually branch off to more private settings, making it your goal to try out every cafe in the city on your lunch break.

• pda around the office is a must.

• dazai won’t insist on anything extreme, but if he can’t even sling his arm around you or give you a quick peck on the cheek, then what good is working at the same place?

• fukuzawa tries not to pair you up on regular cases because of how… distracted dazai can get around his muse

• but in more serious instances, the two of you are expected to have each other’s backs.

• besides ranpo, you’re the only one who can really keep up with dazai’s pace. (furthermore, you’re the only one who can deal with his antics.)

• that doesn’t, however, prevent the seating arrangement from placing you on opposite sides of the office...

• nothing, and i repeat, nothing would ever get done if you sat next to each other 💔

• he’s still plenty distracting from his faraway vantage point, sending notes and love letters via paper airplane passes throughout the day

• it’s honestly a blessing that you’re there in the room with him. with his beloved only a couple dozen steps away, he’s constantly reminded that he has something to live for.

• he’s also glad that he can keep you safe with his own two hands. he wouldn’t put it past the ada’s enemies to abduct you and take you hostage if you were but a civilian.

• and in your case, if you truly want to understand dazai, the best place to do so is at his job. it’s here where his abilities are utilized at their fullest—here where he lives up to his capabilities.

• you absolute power couple. you dastardly dynamic duo you—

• first things first: being execs together is some heavy lifting, no two ways about it.

• unfortunately, your schedules don’t align often, so you can give up on the idea of lunch dates.

• sometimes it feels like you’re always exhausted, always unwinding off of work. much of the time you spend together ends up being warm and tipsy and drowsy

• ...with the exception of board meetings as a rule, of course. you have to be wide awake for your job, though you’ll be squeezing each other’s hands under the table to get through it

• chuuya’s dedication and loyalty to his work is downright infectious. expect to welcome overtime as much as he does…

• though you often have to peel him away from headquarters. some nights when it’s hours past a normal dinner time and neither of you have eaten, you have to be the voice of reason. (or torment...)

• “you’ll never grow any taller if you never get any sleep~” you coo into his ear, to which he suddenly bolts straight out of his chair

• “what do you think i am, twelve years old??”

• late night suppers though >>>

• takeout and delivery are staples, but once in a while he’ll cook if you’ll clean

• pair that with a nightcap and you’ll be on your way to dreamland in no time, the twinkling of city lights just outside the window of your high-rise suite

• once in a blue moon, when the day is going a little slow, the two of you have a few minutes to meet up during work hours

• you take to your “secret meeting place”—in other words, the rooftop of the main building. (in all fairness, access is somewhat restricted.)

• he’ll dangle his legs over the edge and ask you to join him. you aren’t obligated to, but keep in mind, he’ll catch you if you fall

• hectic as it is, being able to work alongside you is a dream for chuuya. he would undoubtedly have it no other way; two things he adores in the same place? unreal 💛

general tags. (info) @skateme2yokohama​​ @shozaii​ @suehiro @tsukkiscookies

[fourfucksake]

online meeting

pairing: chris evans x black!fem!reader

warnings: cursing, stripping, masturbation

word count: 4.2k

p.s this workpiece is set in an alternative reality. this is a professor!chris one shot + i imagined y/n as a black girl, but i hope every single one of you lovely people will read!

Heaps of new policies bombarded universities since the spread of the virus. The amount of preparation and paperwork that had to be completed due to the newest conditions in the teaching system made everyone stressed to the maximum level. Perhaps, that’s why teachers communicated more during those challenging times; only those who work in the same environment can relate to your work frustrations. Individuals whom before appeared almost invisible where now your online buddies. It was quite incredible though.

Chris enjoyed the feeling of this community being available for him whenever he feels like expressing his irritations and or simply desires to moan about his dislikes. Before, he has never considered himself to be a whiner, but since everyone has been constantly moaning and pouting, he thought this is the right time to join the club.

Taking into consideration the current state of the world he was assured that everyone is a complainer right about now. He was okay with that though. No doubt, he didn’t know much about psychology, however, it seemed only logical to allow people to talk about how they feel. Also, it appeared plausible people felt scared, confused, or worried. Hey, these were very surreal times. There was no reason to make others feel bad about having emotions.

Of course, there was some resentment towards certain members of University since all the teaching went online. Sometimes, Chris felt like most of his colleagues gave rats ass about regulations and procedures that were now put in place. Instead of trying to provide the best learning experience possible, they restricted themselves to slamming all the work materials online for students to figure everything out on their own.

Personally, he found online teaching unbearable and exhausting. He hated it; there were no words to describe how much he despised it. At first it was alright; it was tolerable and doable. In a way, it was nice. Being at home, able to wake up later than early morning hours. Being with his dog and going on long walks wherever he wished. Being able to take his time with cooking, exercising, reading. All of those mentioned were exceedingly pleasant.

However, Chris chose to be a teacher. He loved spreading his knowledge around. Since an early age he would teach his younger brother; he was much help when it came to revising, essay or exam tips. This was his passion, he loved it. This pandemic undeniably took this away from him. However, there was still room to provide students with knowledge this way, and he tried extremely hard to do so in most effective ways.

For example, he did not have to orchestrate his own online meetings to be this long. Half an hour, that was a long time slot. This was planned completely on purpose. Ultimately, his desire was to provide students with the time to talk to him, express their concerns, and ask questions. Maybe he took this job way too seriously, he thought, and it wasn't needed. However, there’s always this teacher everyone likes, and Chris wanted to be precisely that guy. It wasn't some stupid ego thing, not at all. He genuinely wanted people to feel like he is there for them and wants them to succeed. Every single individual had an ability to be successful, some just needed an extra push too keep them on track. Although his own schooling experiences where genuinely pleasant, he knew he would benefit more from University experience if he had a teacher like him. Not to lick his own ass, he thought, of course.

After years of working in the schooling system no errors have ever occurred. Until last year, when the last class prior to pandemic began their college journey. Back then and there a problem has arisen – you. It was no one else than little Miss Perfect, the girl who made him look twice when she entered the room. Oh, how tiring and fatiguing crushing on you really was. Chris was always collected and focused while working, but with you in his classes he found himself distracted. Often losing his train of thought, his mind shifted to dark places when your class sat in front of him. Chris was a perfectionist, so this was, in fact, greatly infuriating for him.

He did not feel this way since high school. Back in the day he was not the coolest kid you could walk past in the corridor. Thankfully, he has never had his head shoved in the toilet, but not being bullied did not necessarily mean there’s a successful high school experience behind an average American. In his own opinion, he was just a normal kid that had nothing to show for back then.

Precisely that, being average, was now the reason behind this familiar feeling. A pretty girl, a popular girl causing vivid emotions to flush down himself. Looking at her while she does the most ordinary things was the reason behind the uncomfortable state in his pants. His hormones went ill around her, reminding him of how tough being a teenage boy with no control over his erections was. It felt so familiar, craving her this badly, almost as if he’s done it before. Maybe, in a way, he compared you to someone he crushed on for the whole duration of high school. A beautiful skin complexion, addictive smile and those big, shiny eyes staring at his soul; those qualities of yours highly reminded him of her.

Chris remembered that girl very well. He recalled being fascinated by her presence, by her strong personality, and hypnotic prettiness. Her name did not pop up in his mind for years. Until he met you. Chris had Pearl, Pearl Bennett, tattooed on his brain back then. Needless to say, it was embarrassing how annoyingly beautiful she was. Just like you. Now, he didn’t even know if she was alive, he hasn’t seen her for years. It never really bugged him then, it didn’t bug him now. It was just a pleasant memory that he was able to recollect because of you.

He wasn’t sure about your feelings towards him. Mr. Novak, his colleague, often commented on the way some students would look at him. Chris regularly heard Novak claiming that Evans could get any of “that young pussy” if he only snapped his fingers. Whether it was true or not, he had no idea. Maybe, he was just humble. Or stupid, possibly very stupid.  

The house was practically unoccupied now; his wife was dropping groceries off at her mum’s house and Dodger was nowhere to be found, most likely sleeping someplace in the house. Chris did not mind. In fact, he was relieved to have no other human being here. Since pandemic began his marriage decreased in its quality drastically. For quite some time existing relationship brought more annoyance than joy. He was not sure if it went both ways but noticing how regularly his wife exited their house in recent times it was healthy to assume the feeling was mutual.

How did he feel about his failed marriage? Weirdly, he was awfully okay with it. There was not a single part of him that cared enough to fight for this marriage any longer. Right now, all his thoughts were concentrated around another female. How she managed to look delicious without trying. How she smiled or laughed. How her faced twisted with grumpy expressions once she didn’t understand a certain concept of a lecture. Chris could go on, and on, and on.

It was not possible he could describe you in any other word than perfect. It was quite pathetic, he thought, it shouldn't be like that. Yes, you are a pretty girl and yes, no man can probably say no to you. There was just something about you, something so extraordinary that it took his breath away. What was this fascination? He wasn't sure. However, what he was positive about was that he enjoys looking at you. He enjoys listening to you. He enjoys thinking about you. He enjoys all those things way too much; he was aware of that. He was not ready to stop thinking about you just yet.

Now, sitting in front of his Mac, his eyes were focused on the screen. He wasn’t too up to date when it came to the modern technology, but he also wasn’t clueless to how to work a computer. Setting everything up, he glanced over at the previously printed list of names with time slots besides them. The list was not in alphabetical order, students had their half an hour available for the next eight hours of his life.

It would be a lie to say he was not thinking about you. He was looking forward to seeing your face, even if it’s only on the computer display. Your surname and student ID were somewhere halfway through the list. Naturally, he searched for your name straight away after the programme generated the list.

The ticking of the clock hanged on the nearby wall sounded out so clearly. Almost like a racing heart whenever one feels more strain than usual. He could feel the nervousness growing within him as the time passed. He almost felt bad for the kid who had his scheduled meeting right before you. Chris kept on stuttering, disconnecting, and asking for questions to be repeated. Unfortunately, there was no strength in him to think about the failed one-to-one since his brain was too concentrated on you. His favourite, little student.

His thought process was disrupted as a green dot appeared next to your surname, suggesting your online availability. Licking his lips and fixing his hair, his fingers position themselves on the mouse. One click and the signal began. Beep one, beep two, beep three.

“Hi, Mr. Evans!” Her bubbly voice caused Chris to smile. She waved and in response so did he. She seemed happy, her face expression indicated nothing but joy, he enjoyed it greatly. “Hi! How are you? How’s everything?” He asked with an honest curiosity, still smiling at his student. It’s been months since the last time they spoke without anyone else around. Of course, this was the first instance of them conversating in those settings, but he did not mind. Any type of physical interaction seemed impossible now and anytime soon. This was the best he could receive for a significant period for now.

Their faces didn’t shut for the first couple of minutes. Talking about the past months, Chris was quickly reminded of how smart and funny this girl infatuating really is. They seemed to be getting on well right from the first meeting. Weirdly, she had similar likes and dislikes as well as sense of humour. It was like talking to a long-term friend whom you haven’t seen in the longest time. He noticed her hair change, spotting the long knotless braids; in his opinion she looked completely stunning in this hairstyle. He was quick to comment on it and as a reply he was given a complement on his newest buzzcut.

Sadly, but still, he ended the chit chat to focus on discussing work material. Chris tried to stay on topic and somehow it was going well. For the next couple of minutes, he chatted about work. His hand travelled to the left side of his desk to glance at a list of things he wanted to mention, however, he got cut off by the voice emanating from the screen.

“Are those meetings being recorded, Mr. Evans?” She raised her eyebrows with interest spread across her face. Her back bent forward, causing her face to enlarge on his screen. “I mean like,” She continued and coughed. “Is anyone going to watch this later? Does anyone have access to this after we finish talking?” Her question expanded or rather multiplied, sounding out in Chris’ air pads. There was no denying he was conflicted about why she was asking this question. This was not his first online meeting and not a single individual showed any concern in this matter.

“Well, no, not really. If any of us wanted to report our meeting for any reason then I guess, um, I guess it is possible to reopen the video chat,” Slow nod was all he could do at this very moment. No doubt, he still was not able to understand the nature of her question. “If any of us found the other person’s behaviour concerning, rude or inappropriate then the IT services could recover this video chat.” He added in a robotic tone almost as if he were reading from the script.

“Would you want this meeting to get inappropriate, Sir?”

He chocked a little as his eyes widened. He wanted to slap himself across the face in response to his pathetic reaction. Shouldn’t the age gap mean something? Why was he behaving like he’s on her leash? Why was he this…nervous? Excited?

Assuredly, she should be the one who is intimidated, meanwhile it’s her making the first move. He wasn’t sure whether this simply comes from his politeness and gentles; obviously, momma Evans raised him to be a respectful man. It’s apparent, the fear of scaring you was blocking all his possible moves. Risk of being reported for improper behaviour in the workplace was also a worry of his, but it came nowhere near the terrifying theory of frightening you.

But here you were. Being indecent with him. And oh, how he loved it. How he enjoyed this single sentence leaving your pretty lips. Your remarks were more enjoyable and exciting than everything he has completed with the woman he married in the past year, if not longer.

Was he being delirious? Did your comment indicated what he thought it did? Possibility of his mind playing games on him was high. It’s so easy to assume things happened when you wish for them to happen.

“Do you want to make it inappropriate? Do you want me to be inappropriate with you, Sir?” A deep breath left his mouth and a shiver travelling down his spine followed. He was now sure; he did not misunderstand. This was not his imagination playing him, tricking him into believing there’s something here that does not exist. All of this was very real.

“Whatever you wanna be on this call — I’m happy with,” He managed to speak out loud, fixing himself on the chair. This was a bad idea, he thought once again, a horrible idea that could quite literally ruin his career. Was he going to stop? Prevent this from happening? No fucking way.

“Huh, you sure about that, Mr. Evans? I can get really filthy when I want. I am a naughty girl,” Your words hit him like a truck, and he couldn’t help the blood rush in his trousers. He licked his lips slowly and pressed his back onto the chair. He could say something, but he chose not to. Whatever you planned on doing suited him and there was not an ounce of interest in preventing you from doing so.

No further words were spoken. There was a moment of short silence that felt like forever. A moment for someone to back up, break this madness off. No one expressed a need nor a want to stop. She played with her nipples through her shirt before they journeyed up. The straps of her pale pink top slowly moved down her arm, his eyes patiently followed. To him, you were mesmerising. At this moment you had his whole attention.

Looking straight at him, her hands removed the top and carelessly dropped it on the floor. His eyes glued onto her as the soft material left her body completely. He tensed as his length twitched, reacting to her breasts and hard nipples. Her skin was complemented by the colour of a previously worn top but seeing her without it sent shivers down his spine.

Chris could feel the discomfort in his pants becoming unbearable, needing to expose himself immediately. With shame, but still, he slowly undid his zipper. For a while now the feeling downstairs was insufferable, pleading and begging to be uncovered by his hand. Chris gulped back the lump in his throat as he completely freed his member. The view on the screen made his dick ache, his length twitched, jumping again his tense stomach.

“Liking this?” She teased, firmly grabbing her breasts. His eyes darken when he took in all her naked presence. The way she touched herself, he wanted that too. He wanted to feel her nipples between his fingers. He ached to be close to her.

“I wanna see all of you,” His words escaped his mouth, hand firmly grabbing his cock. Without shame nor hesitation his member was stroked, slowly and decisively, as his back leaned on the chair comfortably.

She was quick to listen. So submissive, he though, hand still firmly hugging his man part. He observed as she stood up, taking a few steps back. Still looking at Chris, her body turned around in a circle. Her moves were slow, very captivating, making Chris feel like every single movement was in slow motion. He already adored her body.

Her hands roamed around her own body before she slipped her hand inside her shorts and panties. Subtle movements of her hands indicated she’s pleasuring herself right in front of him. By her expressions, he was able to conclude that she’s enjoying herself. She didn’t play with herself for too long. Pulling the defiant material down as her eyes travelled to his, she exposed herself completely. He felt his mouth dry at a sigh of her bare body. She gave him a sultry look, realising the power she now held over him.

“Is this how you like me, Mr. Evans?” She broke of the silence, still exposing her hot flesh. It took Chris a couple of second to even register the question, his imagination run too wild to focus now. “Do I like you naked? It’s certainly a more thought-provoking image than how I usually view you,” He teased, slightly raising the corner of his lips in a smug smile.

Licking his lips once again, he watched as she took a box from underneath her bed. It was a regular box, nothing fancy. Taking off the lid her hand searched inside for a short moment before pulling out a pink dildo. Suiting, he thought, always liking this colour on her. He admired how her skin tone was complemented by the shade.

“I love imagining it’s your cock fucking me instead of my dildo,” She said completely unprovoked, making Chris widen his eyes. They did something naughty, something filthy, yet this comment really threw him off. “I’m gonna show you how I play with myself when I think of you,” She added and waisted no time before sitting on the bed. Chris had to admit, he spotted the bed straight away when the call started. Picturing himself laying there, you next to him, he took some time imagining the wicked scene you two could create on that mattress.

“I will show you how much, how much I love picturing us together,” Her seductive voice reached Chris’ ears, his interest growing with every single second. There was this unexplainable fear within him at this very moment, fearing she is going to stop. He was helpless now, he needed her to entertain him long enough for him to reach satisfaction.

Licking his lips once again, he watched as she took a box from underneath her bed. It was a regular box, nothing fancy. Taking off the lid, her hand searched inside for a short moment before pulling out a pink dildo. Suiting, he thought, always liking this colour on her. He admired how her skin tone was complemented by the shade.

“I want you to watch,” His student said firmly, staring right at him. The sound of a dildo followed. Chris’ breath was caught in his throat straight from the anticipation of the next step she’s going to undertake. With hunger, Chris watched as she teased herself, rubbing her clit. The toy fondly slid inside of her, resulting in her lewd sounds and Chris’ silent moan.

Her nipples were hard, her unoccupied hand coming up to fondle them both whilst her bottom lip was taken hostage by her teeth. She was really enjoying herself; Chris could tell. The bed made a squeaky noise every time she moved. The call was so clear, thank God, he was able to enjoy every motion of hers. The moans, whimpers and groans escaping her pretty lips as she fucked herself with a toy. The quality of the video chat was good, but not great. He wanted to see her in full HD, he wanted to see the details. For now, though, viewing this was enough. This was damn good, so good. Those desperate hand movements, stuffing the length as deep as she could, it drove him insane. Oh, how he wanted to stretch her out like no one did before.

“Just like that, baby,” He groaned, squeezing his hard cock. He was conversating with you through moans, examining you as the vibrations caused tingles in your lower department. He couldn’t feel it, but he knew her pussy was throbbing and pulsing, desperate for more length to enter. His body parts were no different; his balls felt heavy and his dick was hard as a rock, begging for a dream release.

The heat began to grow within his body with each and every movements of hers. She kept him going, moaning his name, calling him daddy, reminding him who she’s pulling this show for. If only she had any idea what it did to him. A shaky hand wrapped around his length made rapid movements, fighting for his orgasm to arrive. Watching her, listening to her, it was magical. This craze he had within him, this fixation she caused – it was obsessive. A loud scream, her thighs closing on the pink toy and her eyes shut while she orgasmed was enough, it was everything.

The feeling of euphoria intensely swept through him as a creamy load exploded in his hand. She could not see it, but he knew she felt it. All that left his mouth was a silent “fuck” as he collected his breathe. Chris was in pieces, still processing previous events. It was now clear to him how he pleaded for that orgasm to happen, how he needed it. He was embarrassed to admit how strong, how intense, the load bursting onto his hand really was. Lucky for him, no one knew anything about it but him and himself.  

„You liked this little show of mine, daddy?” Her voice awakened his senses, causing his mouth to water once again. She caught him looking at his crotch, now surely convinced what happened. She removed the toy from her body, a silent whimper followed. She threw it away on the bed like it was nothing, like it did not help them both cum just minutes ago.

“So much baby, so much. Can you show me s’more? One more time,” He breathed, looking at her with lust. She obeyed, without hesitation; her body rose from the bed and did a slow, full 360 to demonstrate her delectable features. Maybe, he was delusional, but he was sure her juices travelled down her leg. If he were right next to her, his tongue would have taken care of that.

“See you in a seminar, right, Mr. Evans?” Her sweet voice rang in his ears followed by his quick nodding. He had a chance to see her collecting the missing wardrobe that she then put on right before him. Chris could not help but notice her shaky legs. She sat down in the exact same position as before. She reached for a cup, drinking, and sipping the liquid through a straw. Now, she was back to her regular self, looking innocent once again. It slightly woke him up, brought half of him to reality.

“Yes, Miss. I will see you there. Be good, huh?” Chris said casually or at least he tried to do so. He was caught by surprise, convinced that he’s going to slur over his words more. He caught a glimpse of her eyes, forming as much of an eye contact as possible through the processor. Her current thoughts seemed impenetrable to him, although he always thought he’s amazing at reading facial cues.

“Me and you both know - I won’t.”

The last words of his current interest sounded from his Mac. Sending him a flirty wink before pressing the right button, she terminated the call. The intense orgasm left his hand still somewhat shaking. Eyes focused on the screen, he looked like he was awaiting another glimpse of her to come back.

Chris’ ecstatic state wasn’t quick to falter. It took another couple of minutes for him to do anything. Literally, anything. He was already late for the next meeting, which he felt absolutely no remorse for. His eyes lowered to look at the mess he produced; his mind displeased as he had realised, he needs to move to clean it.

Once again, it was just him and his usual surroundings. The call was over, just like that, almost as if it never happened. Despite his deepest longing, he could not go back to what just happened, he could not relive it. Your moans and whimpers performed in his head like a favourite song one would put on replay without a hesitation. He was craving more, his fingers curled into fists as he felt his cock hardening again. He was not sure what his next moves in this matter will be, but he was more than sure he needed to be inside this beautiful body.

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

A Miraculous TikTok Account

Part 3

First

Previous

Next

It was a good thing that Master Fu was giving them a month to get used to each other before he was going to make them start posting, because Chloe doubted any of them would give a convincing performance if they were supposed to start acting as friends.

It’s almost like suddenly shoving five people into a confined space and saying ‘play nice’ caused tensions. Who knew?

They were, for the most part, avoiding each other.

After all, even before the whole ordeal, their best relationships with each other were tense. Ladybug had something against Chat, Carapace didn’t see eye to eye with Ladybug, and everyone definitely hated Chloe.

The only person who didn’t seem to be mad at anyone was Rena… but she was also relatively new, and Chloe was pretty sure everyone agreed with her when she said that Rena was annoying.

Chloe walked into the kitchen and fought back a wince when she saw Rena at the table eating cereal. She turned around as slowly as possible. Maybe she wouldn’t notice her, she was on her phone after all --.

“Chloe!”

Dang.

Chloe turned back around and tried for a smile, exhausted as she was. The worst part of all of this was that none of them could properly express their grievances without fear of someone being akumatized.

“I have some questions for you!”

She was still going to be super passive-aggressive, though.

“Again? Didn’t you get enough information the first few times?”

“Nope! Every answer just gives me more questions.”

She supposed she should just be glad that she wasn’t currently in costume. Her wings tended to buzz when she was annoyed and she doubted Rena could take any of them being angry with her.

“Okay. Go ahead, I’ll answer while I make myself food,” said Chloe.

Rena started questioning her about her powers. Luckily they just seemed to be the basics of her powers (Do all bees listen to her or only worker bees? Does she need to eat a lot of honey to create honey in battle? How do her wings carry her if, by all known laws of aviation, there is no way --?). Sure, they were awkward questions to answer because she only had theories, but the words ‘I don’t know’ seemed to satiate Rena just as much as proper answers.

She saw people shuffling in to make food and take it back to their rooms as quietly as they could while Rena was distracted with Chloe. She sent them glares out of the corner of her eyes but she didn’t call out to them or anything. This was a consequence of her own screw up, she would have to be the one to deal with it.

So, she drizzled honey on her cheerios and resigned herself to answering more questions.

~

Know what? Even if this is the direct result of her own mistake, she was allowed to complain.

And complain she would.

These people are the worst.

You already know why Rena was annoying to live with. Her constant questions gave Chloe no peace outside of her room.

And, inside her room, she had to deal with listening to Ladybug working on… something above her at all hours. Did Ladybug sleep? Signs point to no. Chloe wished that Master Fu hadn’t let her convert the attic into a room, it was very clear at this point that the people who made the house had not expected people to live in the attic. For some reason.

Chat Noir was… a cat. He slept almost the entire day and left things everywhere in the few hours he was awake. (Chloe understood that he likely had a maid back at his house, she wasn’t used to not having her normal butler around herself, but even she was better about picking up after herself.)

The only slightly tolerable one was Carapace. He spent most of his time hiding out in his room, studying.

Chloe had considered getting a job to get away.

(She wouldn’t actually get one, obviously, that was peasant stuff. Still, the fact that she even briefly thought about it is proof enough of the stress she was under.)

Beyond that, chores were just… not getting done. Have you ever seen a cat do something it was told to? Seen a turtle do anything at all? No? Chloe hadn’t seen that, either. The two bathrooms were a mess of different products. The washing machine was constantly in use because people kept forgetting that they were the last person to put anything in. She was beginning to forget whether or not the floors were carpeted she hadn’t seen them in so long…

(The only things that got done were the garbage and dishes, and only because no one wanted the house to smell. Chloe wasn’t sure who did them. Chloe also didn’t care as long as it wasn’t her.)

So, yes, things were not looking good. The only reason no one got akumatized during that first week was that everyone was working to stay calm.

Eventually, they adapted like all humans -- or partial humans, because at this point she was pretty sure everyone was at least a little bit their animals -- do when put in a new situation.

Chat, after getting a single pimple because he couldn’t find one of his skincare treatments in the mess, ended up cleaning the bathrooms. It was here that the girls realized that some of the products in their own bathroom were, in fact, Chat’s products, but they were fine with it because now they didn’t have to bother cleaning.

Rena took up the rest of the cleaning. Apparently even the five of them were less messy than her younger siblings were. Whatever she found that had been there for days that wasn’t hers was thrown into Chat’s room -- which ended with a lot of things going ‘missing’ but it was better than finding stuff everywhere.

Ladybug ended up doing laundry. It seemed that Ladybug had some kind of knowledge about clothes (maybe it had something to do with the job she apparently had?), because they found that their clothes were completely devoid of wrinkles and that the colors were bright even after a few washes. They weren’t going to question it.

After seeing Chloe and Chat’s spending habits, Carapace had decided that he would be the one to go to the grocers. It may be Master Fu’s money, but apparently he couldn’t handle the idea of spending that much more than they needed.

And Chloe? Chloe did nothing.

Just kidding. She tended to all of the plants in and outside the house. She rather liked gardening, she thought, but she figured that it was just a side-effect of the bee miraculous. Either way, it led to the group having fresh herbs and vegetables on hand for cooking.

Hardly anyone cooked, but still. It’s the thought that counts... or something.

~

Chloe had finished her gardening for the day and now she looked at the sign up sheet for patrols.

She huffed a little when she saw that Chat had signed up for the night. Again.

She walked to Chat’s room to ask him to just let her have patrols tonight or at least take her with him.

She fought the urge to roll her eyes when she opened the door and found him curled up in a tiny patch of sunlight, asleep.

Wait… asleep…

She smiled at her kwami. Pollen never talked -- and she was pretty sure she’d never heard any of the others’ talk either -- but that didn’t mean that Chloe couldn’t tell that Pollen was disapproving of what Chloe was thinking.

“Oh, shut up --.” The kwami frowned and Chloe gave a little huff. “I didn’t mean -- whatever. Sorry. Buzz on.”

Chloe flew over to where Chat was sleeping and considered him for a minute. He looked so peaceful when he was asleep…

Well, who was she to disturb that peace?

She picked up his phone and turned off the alarm to wake him up for patrols. A finger pointed at him, she mumbled the embarrassing call for her powers (“Don’twakeupdon’twakeup ‘Sticky Situation’ stayasleeeeep -- nice.”) and smiled when he was almost instantly coated with honey. She hardened the honey around him to make sure he was properly stuck.

(The honey stopped at his shoulders, a good distance away from his face and hair -- she was pretty sure he’d kill her if she did that and, with his power, that wouldn’t be hard.)

She stepped back and admired her handiwork. 

She loved her power.

She snapped a picture and left the room.

Chloe hummed as she flew down the stairs to the main room. She crossed Chat’s name off of the list and replaced it with her own.

She made her way over to the couch and laid across it on her stomach to wait for patrols to start. She scrolled through TikTok absently, looking for ideas on what to do…

“WAIT WHAT’S GOING ON --?!” She heard Chat’s voice yell, confused, but it cut itself off. There was a beat and she heard him yell again: “PLAGG, CLAWS OUT! CATACLYSM!”

Ah. Dang. She’d been hoping that she’d already be gone when he woke up...

“CHLOE! WHAT THE HECK?!”

Did he really need to figure out it was her so quickly? Sure, she was the only one that could use honey, but come on!

She looked back at her phone for the time.

One more hour…

She saw Chat’s red face at the top of the stairs and tensed.

Well, there really is no harm in going early.

~~~

Taglist

@nathleigh @mialuvscats @sassakitty @th1s-1s-my-aesthet1c @blueslushgueen

[k-popmakesmyday]

A/n: the way this started as a blurb and then just made it’s way to 2k 🥲It’s gonna be a oneshot now but i’ll make into a fic later 

💌 • 6:04 pm

The time was around 6pm when you decided that you had given up on true love once and for all, sighing as you launched your packed bag (an action that would most conveniently slip from your memory the next time you gracefully overslept and needed to throw yourself out the door with that same bag) off to a corner of your apartment, as if throwing away your emotions all together. You dared not to glance at the empty corner of your bedroom where your blankets usually lay neatly stacked ready for top-tier cuddling whenever the occasion should arise. So you took to propelling your body face-first onto your bed, your own constant, warm safe-haven - ready to console you whenever you couldn’t face the world. 

And there you lay, with furrowed eyebrows as you fought with the urge to express your sorrow by helplessly sobbing while clutching you pillow for dear-life. ‘It’s nothing, stop being so dramatic, y/n’, you mumbled over and over as your voice creeped ever higher with each lie you forced out. 

It wasn’t nothing. 

You flat-out rejected the salty tracks that raced down your cheeks, cursing as you felt overwhelming betrayal while they revealed your secret to no one in particular, however your inner turmoil raged at the sign of you admitting the reality of the past hour or so. Curling into a small ball, you tried to offer yourself comfort in any way you could - yet truthfully you knew it was hopeless as it made to be no match for his comfort, the way he’d wrap you up in his arms and move his hands gently over your skin as he caught your tears in his warm hands, as if the simple action could allow him to take the pain away. 

But no, you weren’t going to think about him. 

Meanwhile, in a realm of comfort not far from your own, Felix sat crosslegged on the smooth, laminate floor of his shared dorm. ‘WHOO’-ing in victory as his blonde companion who was barely a day older than him pelted the undeserving controller away from his body in disgust. It’s brief descent making a rather ugly skidding noise as it collided with the entertainment unit, the boy huffed out his squirrel-like cheeks as he mumbled something about how the intense-sounding playlist the younger boy appointed as background was distracting him.

Felix only turned to look at his friend with a smug grin on his face, “I believe that makes 5-1 to Felix Lee!”, he exclaimed, “Need to step up your game, mate.”, the dusty-blonde smirked as he leant back against the base on the leather couch.

“Whatever, it’s exhausting playing with you.” Jisung scowled at his younger friend as he heaved his exasperated body off the ground and reached his arms up towards the ceiling to regain feeling in his many limbs that had taken to falling asleep during the gaming tournament. “What time is it, anyways? Feels like a day since I saw the sun”, the older boy forced out through a yawn.

The boy in question could only offer incoherent ‘I’s and ‘uh’s in return as he stumbled to his feet, hastily shrugging a jacket over his shoulders. Seungmin, who had conveniently just come out of the shower and happened to stumble across the scene, exchanged a bewildered look with Jisung before turning back to Felix. The two observed their brother with amazement as he struggled to shove his foot into his navy-blue trainer, the action resembling a fish out of water as he desperately hopped around on one foot. If Felix’s friends weren’t so concerned at the present moment they’d be recording his peculiar antics, ready to never let him forget. But rather they were left with puzzled looks as the front door slammed, endless, unanswered questions lingering in the air. 

Felix trusted knocking to be useless in a situation with a severity such as this one, he hastily struggled to wade through the endless puzzle of his keys before he jammed the spare key you had given him into the lock, slowing his pace slightly as he entered into your home. He knew as soon as he stood in the living room how badly he had messed up - your sadness lingered in the air protruding from your bedroom, taking blows to his own chest with each step as he found himself quite breathless. 

The chocolate-eyed boy first found your abandoned overnight bag, taking a deep breath before spilling its contents. Felix’s regret glared up at him in the shape of your blankets, pyjamas and packed lunches you had prepared for earlier in the day. He quickly tore his gaze away from the endearing note you had stuck to his sandwiches, not bearing to withstand another reason to feel impossibly worse. 

Felix tip-toed into your room as if he were afraid to wake you, yet he knew he had to talk to you - and, god, was he in for it. The boys throat tightened at the sight of you, as if it were punishing him for being so careless. He could only stare as you lay curled up in a state of uncomfortable sleep, clinging to the pillow he usually slept on. He slipped off his shoes and jacket, desperately prolonging waking you up and seeing the heartbroken look grace your soft features, he slowly knelt down and brushed your hair behind your ear, the action revealing the sheer amount of crying you had partaken in before his arrival. 

Unfortunately for Felix, you had not nearly slipped into a deep enough sleep to gain some proper rest, so the action caused you to stir and have your eyes flutter open, those who had puffed up full of emotion, their betrayal presenting itself front and centre with the harshest shade of red. The remorseful boy watched as your face convulsed into one of distaste as you quickly sat up and looked away from him. 

“I don’t want to talk to you, get out.” you croaked, voice thick with sleep and tears as you lied to the boy in front of you.

“Baby I am so.. so sorry-”, he reached out a hand to hold yours, eyes desperately searching your own when you yanked your hand away from him.

“You should’ve called,” you breathed as you fixed your gaze on the minuscule cracks in your ceiling, as if your tears would become distracted by them as you spoke not only to the boy in front of you, but to yourself. “If you’re busy, o-or if you don’t want to go out with me, just tell me”

You didn’t stop your ranting at the boys “baby, no i-”, unknowingly cutting him off as you let out the thoughts and insecurities that had been poisoning your mind all day. “- just don’t make plans and let me get all excited and stupid and then.. leave me to wait at the park by myself, with things for a picnic date and a sleepover.. looking like an idiot.” 

The boy in turn once again reached out to console you, realising he could spend his entire life searching and never find the right words to possibly comfort you in that moment - but as you weakly pushed your heart away from your body, Felix felt his own shatter into a million pieces at your confession. 

“It’s not stupid, y/n, this is all my fault. I shouldn’t have called, i should’ve been there, like I promised. I would never leave you alone on purpose, i just forgot because, well. i don’t even know why. I know you don’t want to hear what I have to say right now but i promise,” he paused to look you straight in the eye, the seriousness being unusual in your easygoing relationship. “I promise i will make it up to you.” he sighed at the lack of response, yet he knew he deserved nothing less, and moved to his feet. “I know you need space so.. i’ll leave you alone, okay? Call me if you need anything, anything at all, i love you-”

The rambling Australian’s words were caught in his throat when he felt a warmth encase his wrist, he looked down at your hand and back up to meet your eyes, sporting a puzzled gaze as you sniffled. 

“Stay. Just because I can’t sleep without you.” 

Your words earned a small smile from the latter boy as he inwardly gushed over your adorable manner, he wasted no time slipping under the covers and embracing you in his arms in a silent apology, although he knew it would be one of many. Not only did he curse himself for being so forgetful, but he also felt his heart shatter at your assumption of him missing your one-year anniversary celebration purposefully. He shut his eyes and screamed at his imagination not to picture you sat on the picnic blanket all by yourself, suppressing tears as you avoided the invading gazes of passerby’s (who could easily have guessed what happened - your asshole of a boyfriend stood you up, how were they to know it was unknowingly?)

Felix had lost count of the amount of times he had attempted to drift off, never fully falling into sleep as the guilt stood in the back of his mind, nagging and mocking him constantly. The sun was finally starting to seep through the curtains as the boy decided that his torturous night’s ‘sleep’ should come to an end as he carefully removed his arms from around you and got up. Grabbing one of his hoodies you’d stowed away in your wardrobe as he made his way out to the kitchen, not forgetting to re-tuck you in before he left. 

It was some hours later when you finally announced your consciousness to the world, you dragged yourself into your ensuite to find your eyes impossibly filled to the brim with dry tears, stabbing at your fragile eyes as you began to wash up for the day. You wandered into the kitchen to be met with a sweet, inviting aroma, one that reminded you of... your birthday? Letting out a tiny gasp, you silently sat down at the breakfast bar as you watched your flour-covered boyfriend finishing piping icing on his last cupcake, before he turned around and screamed at the sight of you.

“AH!”, he scrambled to cover your eyes, “you weren’t supposed to see these yet!” His lips forming an adorable pout as he threw his arm by his side in a child-like manner. “I was gonna bring you breakfast in bed except.. it’s cupcakes”

You smiled as your heart melted at the thought, pressing a soft peck to his cheek, whispering “i love it” loud enough so that only he could hear. Despite the two of you being alone in your cozy apartment, you outright rejected the thought of anyone else getting in on the words meant for only each other.

He sighed in defeat as he presented you with a plate of slightly messy cupcakes adorned with vanilla buttercream swirling magnificently on top of each one. They may not have been the best dressed baked goods you’d ever seen, but there was no doubt in your mind that every little cake was made with the utmost care and love, and that’s all you could ever ask for. 

“I know it’s not much but... i just wanted to say how sorry I am for yesterday. This, obviously, doesn’t make up for it but if you’re feeling up to it.. we could go on our date today? I’m just so sorry baby, this isn’t enough, but it’s a start, right?” he looked up at you with hopeful, doe eyes as you nodded and pulled him down to sit next to you. 

“We’re gonna be okay, right?” the exhausted boy murmured to you, making you reply with a reassuring kiss on his temple. 

“Yeah, Lix, we’re gonna be just fine.”