#I’m a hoe for aho

[human-trainwreck]

The team didn’t win but damn did the boys look good today

[bordysbae]

the joke was “your moms aho” i think, but they edited sebastian on jack not jim

yes i know, i’m saying poor jim cause they’re calling his wife a hoe haha

that’s also why i said “ellen’s not aho” (“ellen’s not a hoe”)

[toffoliravioli]

TOP 5 HOCKEY PLAYERS

this is an attack on my well-being yue…..

5. mika zibanejadaddy

4. svechy/aho (I don’t talk about them nearly as much as I should but they’re both a beast so I’m putting them together)

3. val nichushkin choo chooooo

2. natedawg/calerrrr

1. cridney sosby

this is gonna take me like three hours to post bc im indecisive, and I feel bad for forgetting people bc I’ve adopted 65% of the league 😭😭 plus my favs change on the daily im a hoe

honorable mentions: chris krieder, geno, drai, dougie hamilton, naz, shane pinto, mason mctavish

[teamrocketmemes]

[ SONNY BRISKO ONCE SAID… ]

Taken from this video which has a bunch of miscellaneous phrases the VTuber Sonny Brisko from NijiEN has said. Feel free to change pronouns if necessary. Content warning for mild language and other stuff.

“Hello, I’m [full name] and I’m looking for guys.”

“Thank you for beating my sack.”

“You can't add loyalty to the hoe because these hoes ain't loyal.”

“Can you harvest yeast from the coochie monster to make bread??”

“I love poop.”

“It’s really good when you need to make a few extra dollars.”

“We all have a penis in our hearts.”

“Why do you wanna direct someone to your nuts when you could be telling them to have a nice day–”

“I am expecting a brutal breeding from my senpais–”

“They gotta do something else with the cow once they squeeze all the milk out of it.”

“He’s more than my homie… He’s my husband.”

“A boy and a boy can only give birth to a boy.”

“Thank you for the milk funds.”

We’ll be needing that cause neither of us can produce milk.”

“Do your fucking work, stop slacking off.”

“WHEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE THAT’S AMOOORE⁓”

“Shoot first, ask questions later.”

Is it better to piss in the sink or sink in the piss??”

“You’re into that, you freak??”

“AUSTRALIAN INTERNET, PLEASE!!!”

“This isn’t even drip anymore, it’s flood.”

“You wouldn’t break the law in front of a cop, would you??”

“Tell all your Twitter friends that I’m live.”

“Psychological manipulation is the highest form of comedy.”

“If I theoretically shot you in the face, you would die.”

“Let’s play fetch. I’ll throw bullets and you catch them with your brain.”

“You guys like watching me eat?? What’s wrong with you??”

“I’ll use my male urge on you if you’re not careful.”

“My boots are specially designed to more effectively kick on open doors and step on people.”

“I heard an interesting chemical reaction happens when you mix glass with a human face, namely a lot of blood comes out…”

“And you can punch them.”

“Don’t apologize… Just die.”

“Look at you all fucked up on the ground.”

“Spitters are quitters. You should’ve swallowed.”

“I’m wearing red boxer briefs.”

“I’m just as tall even when I’m not horny.”

“If you hard, then you hard.”

“I’m the best aho in the world.”

“Are you getting flustered about being told what to do??”

“Are you mad?? that you got mega-owned?? On live stream??”

“I trolled you epic-style, how does that feel??”

“After a long gay of daming—”

“First of all, words can’t describe me. I describe word.”

[disorqer]

Show me some cute/hot ice hockey players please. I need to hoe for more Finns

wwwooaahh this is kinda embarrassing(for me) but imma do it anyway:

there’s like 2 major guys I’m simping for rn😅 ehh so umm;

first: Miro Heiskanen (aka. miro the hero)

(this is like the best pic of me so yeah sorry i just need to use this one)

then there’s:

Juuse Saros (aka. juice/juicy{i like to call him juicy juuse})

(LMAO SORRY THIS PIC IS SO FUNNY I COULDN’T FIND BETTER HEHDJFJF) {there’s better ones i swear i just like this one for some reason}

very juicy i think yeah hello[ they look the same but it just tells what my taste is.... :’) ] {i should use gifs but I’m not gonna steal from anyone and I’m bad @ making ’em so—- uhh}

honorable mentions:

Sebastian Aho (i used to be so obsessed w him like 5years ago omfg)

Mikko Rantanen (he gives me dilf vibes for some reason even tho he’s pretty young)

hmmm ok Kasperi Kapanen maybe idk(he has fatass OKAY ILL STOP-){check his ig- don’t.}

Roope Hintz when he was younger ( now he looks kinda like rat{no hate}) [he’s like miros BFF!!!!!!! actually they’re all besties every finn is a bestie w another finn]

THERE’S PROBABLY MORE BUT IDK ALL OF THE FINNISH NHL PLAYERS BC THERE’S SO MANY and there’s probably been like cute ones earliel but idk I’m not a hockey expert gghhgg💀🤷‍♀️

the end. thank u.

[mundanesafehaven]

Haikyuu Characters thirsting over SpongeBob

CROOKEDCROWHEADS

✔Online

Y/N IS A HOE

I just found out something golden✨

SALTYASSB’TCH

what is dis bullshit again?

Y/N IS A HOE

geez calm ur balls down

SugaR Mami

Don't tell me that dis is

about spongebob again?

Noya’S POOPULAR

What's wrong with spongebob

I mean mr crab's daughter is hot asf!

BALDIES EGG

Yeah she thicccc😏😏

SALTYASSB’TCH

Ur taste on women is

Unbelievable

DADCHI

I mean....

Mrs. puff tho damn mami🐡😍

SugaR Mami

Not in front of my salad

Y/N IS A HOE

Not u guys thirsting

over fishes...😏🐟

Fr tho larry the lobster?💦

ANGRY INFANT🍼

How about squidward? He's

The most relatable out of them..

CAPRISUN🍊

Yeah coz he looks exactly like u🦑

Like the attitude is on point✌️

Noya’S POOPULAR

Yeah both kags and squids

Has some kind of anger issues

For no reason

ANGRY INFANT🍼

Fuck you guys💗

Y/N

Uhhhhhh u forgot

Abt my discovery🤠

SALTYASSB’TCH

Yeah no cap who even cares?

CAPRISUN🍊

I have a discovery too!

Spongebob has holes on his body!? Can u believe that

Y/N IS A HOE

Hinata... Do u even watch spongebob?🤡

CAPRISUN🍊

I do, I'm in ep 1 already!

ANGRY INFANT🍼

Someone throw this man away

Like I don't care whoever pick him out from the trash

YAMSSSS

That's harsh... but I expected that

Y/N IS A HOE

Can u pls stfu coz I'm about

To destroy ur dreams and hope!😽

SALTYASSB’TCH

Let me guess, spongebob parents

are not sponge but literal cookies

Y/N IS A HOE

I mean its close, but still no.

Like how the hell are spongebob parents not crumbling?!

They're literally under fucking water.

YAMSSSS

That's what u call

S C I E N C E🌈

BALDIES EGG

I knew it, spongebob is

is an adopted.

SugaR Mami

❌ that's what u call dumb,like all of you!

DADCHI

Yow calm down...

SugaR Mami

I'm mad asf because why is no one talking about fcking mr crabs!

Did u see his butt? Its S U P R E M A C Y.

Emoshitty

I mean why is no one talking about Patrick?

SALTYASSB;TCH

Patrick is living in a rock

Like he's dumb as fck.

Emoshitty

Atleast he's not moody✨ and he's not always in his period like u do so stfu🙂

BALDIES EGG

Damn, enoshita mad? That's hot🤤

Y/N IS AHOE

I mean I like pink so Ilike patrick

SALTYASSB’TCH

I'm about to delete dis chat bcs

I'm lowkey scared⚰️

This thing makes me think that I'm the only normal person in here

Y/N IS A HOE

Not really considering ur obsession with dead lizards, i don't think so

[dank-memes-and-brokendreams]

Canadian teams acting like they care about Aho when in reality, once he resigns they’ll be like “i’m sorry did you just call me a hoe?”

And thats the tea sis

[milfgritty]

I’m a hoe for aho

[expensiveminimalist]

(I meant to post this yesterday but I forgot because I’m tired lol) 

If there’s any specific ideas/scenarios that you want to see with a specific player for Hoe-Mas let me know now so I can get it all sussed out 👌🏻 (I started planning some stuff yesterday for it) 

Here’s the full list for Hoe-Mas just to jog everyone’s memories: 

(There’s 2 days that will have 2 posts because I didn’t want to say no to anyone lol) 

Jake Guentzel 

Tyler Seguin 

Colton Parayko 

Matty Tkachuk 

Freddie Andersen 

Morgan Rielly 

Josh Morrissey 

Jakub Vrana 

Mat Barzal

Pierre-Luc Dubois 

Elias Lindholm 

Sebastian Aho 

Zach Werenski 

Jesse Puljujarvi 

Jimmy Vesey 

Auston Matthews

Nico Hischier 

Johnny Gaudreau 

Nolan Patrick

Travis Konency 

Sean Monahan 

Andre Burakovsky

Brady Skjei 

Kasperi Kapanen 

Chris Kreider 

Jamie Benn 

Beau Bennett 

[eastcoastpuckbunny]

Sebastian Aho and a hoe?

I’m not sure what you’re asking but he’s not a hoe, he is in a serious relationship and faithful to her

[barnes-107th]

Your hoe name is the first two letters of your name followed by "ahoe"

I'm ilahoe

[dudja]

SlinnerB - Glory by SlinNer B https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjUIcfsMRj4 FWA Inspiration Lyrics: I used to get trashed behind a gas station Gas prices were high cus of inflation But we sat back and downed them like we on vacation Federal offense when I drive Got OZ’s in the back That's right always high Hit the doobie that facts Grandma says that i'm fat my wallet not far behind All these old people in they own world But I feel that too cus im in my own world too Dr Who inspiration People fabricaten Changing their realities Changing bathroom facilities Mind wipe Thought deprivation Social media cancer nation But they just fantasize And then i glamorize my life Cus i get butterflies When i do something right My homie and I used to get trashed at night Then play fight not gay amiright Outa site when the police come around Gun put away with the rounds Mike ultra with the loud Not rappin for the clout Everyone gotta make a living somehow I used to get trashed behind a gas station Gas prices were high cus of inflation But we sat back and downed them like we on vacation We used to milsim in a field My homie would never yield Those days are gone People these days make me yawn People these days act like pawns Kick the door open Pause You kicked my dog dude run logan Oh fuck What A slogan Now we going Fit as fuck never slowin I'm just growin As an artist I'm not the smartest if I had stephen hawking's wheelchair I could make a difference Plug myself in now I’m self aware Like alienware Cut my own hair Gotta save money somewhere Chasing my dream And No ones goina stoppin me Ramming through hurdled like im thanos Rings on my finger drippin like hoes I'm a demon to those Who oppose I used to get trashed behind a gas station Gas prices were high cus of inflation But we sat back and downed them like we on vacation I'm not opposed to writing lyrics on a daily basis Honestly When I'm writing i be in a stasis Grinding hard gotta know the basics I feel like i've ascended I've been backstabbed By my own friends Sometimes you just gotta make amends Or maybe not i guess it depends Standing on the table Talk it out Shout it out Spill it out Guts on the floor Someone call an ambulance 911 on the line ears ringing Patience Facts in front of you Not being you So you do something you never do Mistakes on the table Thinking bout what you did To terrorize A friendship Cus you idolize aho Why you fantasize I hope you realize You be burning bridges With different eyes