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moremaybank · 2 years

Note

hiiii! i can’t explain how excited i am to request this so here we go!

Y/N is dating Elijah. One day she goes baby shopping with him to get sister’s newborn some clothes. Whilst there, she gushes on about children (her period ended days ago and but her hormones are going haywire). Days later she drops the clothes at her sister’s place and holds her niece (Elijah is with her). Y/N notices how natural he looks with a baby so it turns her on, that evening in bed back at home, she points this out to him. She says he knows they can’t have kids but she’d enjoy trying anyways, he admits he has a breeding kink….the rest is up to you. 💋

BABY FEVER — e.m

pairing elijah mikaelson x fem!reader

summary seeing elijah doting on your baby niece excites you in more ways than one

warnings 18+, unprotected sex, breeding kink, creampie, choking, edging, dirty talk/language, imprint, spanking, praise kink, degradation kink, overstimulation, anal play, a dash of oral sex (f. receiving), let me know if i missed any

author's note she's a biggie. i hope you i made you proud with this, bestie😘 @amournoir

elijah masterlist

“sweetheart, please do not cry."

elijah used the pad of his thumb to wipe away a stray tear from your cheek as you peered down at the large selection of infant-sized onesies in front of you.

“i can’t help it. look how tiny this onesie is, ‘lijah,” you pouted, holding up the one you picked out for elijah to see. "'i'm not spoiled...my auntie just loves me.' it's perfect. help me grab one in every colour they offer."

it had been a week since your sister gave birth to her bundle of joy, gifting you a gorgeous little niece by the name of avery. you'd never had your own niece or nephew to spoil rotten, so when you heard your sister was pregnant, you were over the moon.

you'd forced elijah to join you on your mission to the baby store — not that he could ever say no to you — and all you'd done since you two had arrived was gush over any item your gaze landed on. the minuscule-sized pink frilly socks, the baby dresses adorned with silk bow sashes, the flower headbands...the list goes on. if it weren't for elijah bringing you back down to earth every five minutes, you were sure you'd be buying the entire store.

you tried. you tried so hard to resist, but you couldn't help it. the thought of those chubby little baby rolls, their adorable gummy smiles, how peaceful they look when they sleep, that delectable newborn baby smell...it was all too much, and it sent your hormones (and ovaries) that were already short-circuiting thanks to your recently-ended period, into overdrive.

"how many articles of clothing could a newborn need? she will outgrow all of them in three weeks' time."

"hush. i want her to have a selection," you argued, smacking his chest lightly with the back of your hand in warning. "honestly, you should be counting your blessings. if this were our baby, every baby store in the state would be cleared out. you know i like to be prepared."

elijah smiled at that because he knew you were only kidding, but in the back of his mind, he began to worry that somewhere down the line, his lack of the ability to give you a baby of your own would be something that drove you two apart. he loved you with every fibre of his being and wanted to provide you with everything. but a part of that everything just wasn't feasible — at least not in the traditional way. and to make matters worse, his younger brother klaus had been able to do the impossible without even trying. it was enviable.

he decided to shake it off, telling himself that he shouldn't be stressing out over a topic that hadn't been brought up. you'd always believed in the good, and in turn, you'd helped him believe in it too.

"darling, she's only been a part of the human population for a week now, i don't believe that picking out what onesie she's going to wear will be high on her priority list."

you frowned at him, handing him another onesie to place inside your nearly-full shopping cart. "it doesn't matter. i'm her aunt. it's my job to shower her with whatever she wants for the rest of her life. it's that simple, my love," you told him before you walked ahead of him over to the baby books.

elijah followed you while pushing the cart, always the one to do what he was told when it came to you. to be quite honest, there wasn't a single thing he wouldn't do for you.

"as much as i believe you to be going a tad overboard, i do adore how big your heart is."

you smiled in return, "i know this is all a bit much, i'm just...enthusiastic. besides hope, i've never had a niece or nephew before. i just want to make sure i'm doing this whole 'aunt' thing justice."

"you're a remarkable aunt to hope, and you're going to be just as exceptional of an aunt — if not more — to avery," elijah reassured you, his hands finding your face as he tilted it downwards. his lips pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead to seal the deal.

"you really think so?"

"i know so."

"so, how's the mom life treating you so far?" you questioned, looking over at your sister from your seat in her kitchen. her eyes were set on elijah, who was doting on avery in a matter of ten seconds. just one look at her, and he was putty in her little infant hands. and by god, was it a sight.

"it's...a lot. i mean, i'm responsible for a whole other human life now. it's kinda crazy if you think about it. and it can be pretty gruelling at times. but on the other hand, i've never felt so much love. there's something about holding the life you created in your hands. it's awfully cheesy, but there is truly nothing like it."

you watched the stars behind your sister's eyes and how bright they shined at the mere thought of her daughter. she was filled to the brim with love for her child, and it was a great look on her. you knew it wasn't the same thing, but that's exactly how you looked when you spoke about elijah. you trusted that you felt that same tenderness and utter devotion toward him, that you would go to the greatest lengths just to see him smile.

but now...seeing elijah — strong, noble, and powerful elijah — holding a product of the miracle of life in his hands, watching him as he held your niece in his arms like she were the most precious gem he had ever come across...it made your heart soar even further than you'd ever thought possible. it also caused a fluttering sensation in your core as you took notice of how natural elijah's paternal instincts came to him.

he bounced her lightly in his arms, beaming down at her as he did so. avery's eyes were closed shut, but her mouth mirrored him, giving him a sleepy replica of his smile. she stretched her body, settling into elijah's hold a bit further, and her tiny hand slowly raised up to touch his face. elijah visibly melted, eyes sparkling as he looked over at you from his place in the living room.

your sister interrupted your thoughts by snapping her fingers in front of your face. "earth to y/n. dude, hello?"

"oh, uh — sorry. what were you saying?"

"i asked you why you felt the need to go and spend over three hundred dollars on baby paraphernalia for an infant," she replied, giving you a look. "i knew you were going to go crazy over becoming an aunt, but there was no way i could have prepared for this."

your brows furrowed and you threw a puzzled look her way, "how do you know how much i spent?"

"you let the receipt in the bag, dumbass."

you winced, running a hand over your face. "i swear i told elijah to remind me to take it out of the bag before we came."

"well, you didn't. sucks to suck. but since you brought up elijah..." she trailed off, giving you a suggestive look before her gaze moved over to your boyfriend's.

"what?" you asked, noticing how she was peering at you.

"nothing, just...he seems to be a natural. i mean, if avery wasn't mine and i saw those two walking on the street, i'd assume she belonged to him."

you chuckled, shaking your head at her as you turned to look at elijah and avery once again. your sister had a point. it was undeniable how in sync you two were mentally, surely the product of growing up so close.

"i was thinking the same thing. i might have to take him home and convince him to try to make one of our own," you joked in response, sipping the coffee from the mug in front of you on the counter.

"you couldn't just let me have this one thing, huh?" your sister responded, smiling as she shook her head at you.

"what kind of little sister would i be if i didn't try to steal your thunder? you know i thrive off of attention."

you were laid in bed, applying lotion to your hands as you watched elijah emerge from the shower. the door opened, and a cloud of steam surrounded his body. the light from the lamps on your bedside tables reflected off of the water droplets littered across his bare chest and torso, and the sight did nothing to quell the rapidly increasing ache you'd felt for him since that day at the baby store.

his eyes landed on you, and he gave you a smirk when he noticed how you were ogling him. it was almost pitiful how much that tiny action affected you, but you were whipped — unashamedly so.

"what is on your mind, my love?"

you set your lotion back in the drawer of your end table, giving him a bashful smile as your cheeks began to flush.

"i'm just thinking about how much i loved watching you with avery earlier. deep down, my boyfriend, the thousand-year-old original, is a big ole' softy. it's incredibly sexy."

"hm," elijah hummed, walking over to your side of the bed, "is that so?"

he was now towering over you, his delicious body only inches away from you now. his hand threaded itself into your hair, gripping it slightly as he tilted your head up so he could meet your gaze, and his thumb stroked along your temple.

you gulped in anticipation, your eyes trailing down the prominent muscles of his bare torso until they landed on the towel that was wrapped loosely around his hips, and you wanted nothing more than to yank it off. it was hard to maintain your self-control, especially when your gorgeous, hand-carved boyfriend was standing in front of you with nothing but a towel covering the most intimate parts of him.

"mhm," you nodded. "i know we can't make a baby of our own, but the thought of us trying... it'd be fun, wouldn't it?" your fingers lightly ran over his exposed skin above the towel. your light touch caused goosebumps to form on his skin, and his hand wrapped around your throat as he pulled you up gently to your knees.

"i can't think of anything i'd enjoy more," he breathed, releasing his grip on your locks and placing both hands on your clothed hips. "you certainly know how to get a rise out of me, sweetheart. tempting me with the idea of pumping you full of my cum until your pretty cunt cannot hold any more of me."

you clenched your thighs together, his words having seeped into your veins and down to your core. your clit throbbed, growing sensitive as you pictured elijah claiming your cunt over and over, with his cum leaking out of you and drenching the bed sheets. your panties were slowly dampening, and you craved more of his touch.

elijah felt your muscles tense underneath his touch, and as if he knew your thoughts, his fingers slipped under the skimpy hem of your silk nightgown. they hooked into your panties, his bodily warmth inched closer to the area that craved him the most, and a shiver went up your spine, perking up your nipples as they peaked through the thin material.

"why the hell are you still wearing a towel?" you whispered, your tone reeling him in even further.

"i'm not totally sure. perhaps i should remove it."

"agreed," you smiled, biting your lip as his hand tugged the towel off of his hips, casting it onto the floor. your eyes caught sight of his hardening length. it was already red and visibly angry as it ached for the attention only you could satisfy it with. you salivated at the view, and elijah watched as you became memorized by him. there was no way in hell he would let all of those scorching feelings go to waste.

elijah climbed on top of you as you leaned back onto your elbows, his hands returning to their place under your nightgown to toy with the tiny lace material that covered your cunt. the tips of his fingers brushed over your clothed clit, sending a jolt of energy through you. you tried to grind your hips into his digits, but elijah stopped you, his hand pressing you down against the mattress.

"you know the rules, my darling. i am the one in control. you don't get to feel good unless i say so. is that understood?"

you nodded, his authoritative tone making clear where you stood in this scenario. you loved elijah like this, loved handing your body over to him to use in every way he wished to. your submissive side relished in the control he took over you, and it was as if you lived to please him. like it was your sole purpose, and nothing else mattered.

elijah pushed you flat on your back, your head hitting your pillow as his lips found your neck. he licked a stripe up your pulse point, his fangs poking out momentarily and dragging lightly against your skin. he braced one hand on your neck to keep you in place as his other tugged your panties to the side. he collected some of your slick on his fingers, smoothing it over your bundle of nerves and massaging it in agonizingly slow and torturous circles. you gasped when you felt one of his fangs break through the barrier of your skin ever so slightly, drawing a drop of blood from it. it trailed down your neck a little before elijah lapped it up.

"how is it that every part of you is so sweet? even the blood that courses through your veins is just as candied as your heart. so decadent," he murmured against your skin. he sucked on different parts of your neck and collarbone, marking you up as he continued to tease you with his fingers. he could feel how wet you were as he gathered more of the slick that was oozing out of you. "is all this for me, my love? is this how badly you want me to fuck every drop of my cum into your needy cunt? so pathetic."

his taunting only caused more fluttering inside of you, your walls clenching around nothing as he teased the very tip of his index and middle fingers at your entrance. he brought his fingers up to your lips, shoving them inside your mouth as he ordered you to suck your arousal off of them. you obeyed his command, your tongue lapping at his digits as you relished in the taste of yourself.

when you finished, he drew his fingers back and wrapped his hand around your throat as his free hand lined himself up with your entrance.

"do you want to make me proud?" he asked, his hold on your throat keeping your gaze locked on his.

you nodded in return, but it didn't seem to be the sort of response that elijah wanted from you. his fingers curled around your throat tighter, and he pulled your face closer to his.

"i'll ask again. will you make me proud?"

"yes. i'll do whatever you want. love pleasing you," you replied.

"then you'll lie still for me while i fuck you full?"

"yes. use me to make yourself come. i'll be so good for you," you spoke, eyes pleading for him to do something. all you wanted was for him to use you in any way he saw fit. you didn't care what he did or how he did it. you just needed to feel him.

"good," he said, and that was the only resemblance of a warning you received before you felt his cock slam into you. he buried himself to the hilt, and he was so big inside you that you could see his length poking out from inside you. he traced over the imprint protruding from your abdomen, looking up at you with a proud smirk. "look how wide i stretch out this tight little cunt. how full i stuff you. it is divine."

it was divine. elijah was so deliciously deep inside of you, you'd convinced yourself to believe that you could feel him in your throat. "you fill me up so perfectly, baby. stuff me over and over until i'm a mess for you...until i can't take it anymore. please," you begged. you were trying to rile him up, and you could see that it was working as your eyes locked with his.

"because you asked me so very nicely..." he said, easing himself out to the tip before he rutted into you harshly, "i will give it to you just how you want me to." you squealed at his force. your fingers grasped the sheets that surrounded you as elijah's pace quickened, giving you no time to adjust to his size. his movements were merciless, and with every thrust, it felt like he was knocking the wind out of you.

"i want you to look at us...watch how i fuck you," elijah ordered, his hand around your throat tugging your gaze down to where he was fucking you. but that wasn't the only thing that caught your eye. you kept your sight on your abdomen as you watched his cock slide in and out. the view was so erotic that you felt yourself beginning to clamp around his length already. you brought one of your hands down to toy with your clit in an attempt to help you reach your high.

"want all your come, 'lijah. need to feel you leaking out of me. please, i'm so close."

it hadn't even been five seconds after you begged him to come when elijah pulled out of you suddenly. he knew how close you were. his knowledge of your body and how responsive you were to his touch was something that was definitely not lacking.

you whined at the loss of contact instantly, and before you could blink, elijah had both of your hands pinned above your head with the hand that previously rested on your throat.

"did we not agree that you only come when i say so?"

you nodded pitifully. you knew who was in control. there wasn't even a question. but you were hoping he would let it slide since he was so wrapped up in you imploring him to breed you.

"you should have listened to me, sweetheart. now i am forced to punish you. i surely cannot allow you to get away with misbehaving."

"elijah, please. i'm sorry. i'll behave, i promise. i need you to make me come."

"you should have thought of that before you decided to disobey me," he spoke. he then used his vamp-speed to put you on your knees before him. his hands grabbed hold of your wrists and pulled them behind your back. he left one hand on them, his vice grip making it difficult to release yourself from his grasp — not that you wanted to. with that same hand, he pushed your wrists into the arch of your spine, pushing you as far as you could go. you yearned for the high elijah would grant you by the night's end; that was a no-brainer. but you also wanted yourself to be at his mercy completely, and elijah was acting on those very same desires.

elijah landed a harsh smack on your ass, your flesh stinging as red hues rose to the skin there. he then plunged his cock into your entrance, his free hand ramming your ass against his hips as he fucked you mercilessly.

the only thing you could do in response to his actions was call out his name repeatedly, the volume filling your shared bedroom. your throat was already raw, vocal cords aching as you panted heavily. you bit down on the comforter below you, squeezing your eyes shut as you let elijah teach you your lesson.

"that's it, darling," he said, punctuating his sentence with another slap onto your ass, "take all of me. you adore being punished, don't you? you're such a pathetic little slut for me that you'll let me use you in any way i feel inclined, hm?" he sneered, fucking you further into the mattress.

the pleasure was more than overwhelming, but if he ripped it away from you, you knew that would leave you aching even more. it was too much, but not enough at the same time, and that thought drove you insane. if this was how you went out, you'd die a happy woman. the tears that welled in your eyes began to roll down your cheeks, dampening the duvet in front of you as you shoved your face deeper into it.

elijah's hand gained a grip on your hair as he continued his brutal thrusts, and he yanked you upward. your back was flush against his chest, and his arms wrapped around your middle as he fucked into you harder, still. your hands gripped his biceps, and your nails clawed into them, leaving behind crescent-shaped marks on his skin as you clung to him.

"no running, darling. you're not going anywhere. i'm going to fill you up with my seed, and you're going to be my best girl and take it. isn't that so?"

"shit — yes, baby. i'm your good fucking girl. i'll take it all," you sobbed. your legs felt like jelly, they were trembling beyond control, and if it weren't for elijah's hold on you, you'd be limp.

"i can feel you, my love. gripping my cock like a vice. you spoil me. you'd do anything to come right now, wouldn't you?" he taunted as he felt your walls squeezing him once again. when you nodded furiously, starting to convulse around him a little harder, he tore your high away from you once again, dropping you down onto the bed. you planned on crying out and pleading for him to let you come, but those plans were interrupted when elijah gripped your hips, pulling them back up so he could lap at your cunt. his cock twitched with need as he'd robbed himself of his own release, but he didn't care because he knew how forcefully the waves would crash over both of you when the time came.

"elijah," you gasped in shock, your clit throbbing immensely as his lips wrapped around it. his tongue swirled around it, flicking and toying with it with precise movements. meticulous enough to keep you on the brink of your orgasm, but not quite enough to push you over the edge. your hips subconsciously rolled against his face, and he pulled back. he stood up once more, slapping your clit and pulling another squeal from you before he plunged into you again. this time, he planned on rewarding you — and himself — with his come filling your pussy up.

"you're so beautiful when you turn into a mess for me. i'm so proud of you, sweet girl," he grunted as he rutted into you as hard and deep as he could. his speed was inhumane, vampire tricks coming into play as he brought you closer and closer to your orgasm.

"'lijah, i need it so fucking bad, i'll do anything. please let me soak your cock," you cried out.

elijah obeyed, granting you your wish as he pushed his thumb into your puckered hole. you erupted, your walls gripping him so tightly that it made it difficult for him to keep moving. "there we go, sweetheart. make a mess all over me. do your absolute worst," he gritted through his teeth.

he threw his head back as he kept up his unwavering pace, chasing his own orgasm. he brought his free hand down to your clit, rubbing it harshly so he could keep you wrapped tightly around him.

you were beginning to come down, but elijah was still rapidly chasing his high with his unforgiving thrusts. sobbing was an understatement at that point; you were nothing but a weeping puddle as the overstimulation sent you into a frenzy. you were so exhausted that all you could do was lie there and let elijah fuck you to his heart — and cock's — content.

"fill me up, baby. pump me full of your seed. make me your little breeding whore," you encouraged as best as you could manage. you still felt the energy buzzing through your veins with every motion against your clit and thrust against your g-spot.

elijah's past goal of getting you to remain clamped around him seemed to be working because you were fast approaching another earth-shattering orgasm. he felt your walls start to grasp him once more, and finally, his cock twitched, and his seed sprayed the inside of you. you came together, the both of you collapsing onto the bed as you rode out your highs.

elijah began to slowly pull out of you when he noticed the mixture of both of your releases starting to slip out of you. he stroked inside of you slowly, fucking both of your come back into you.

you hissed at the contact, still extremely sensitive as you turned your head, locking eyes with your boyfriend. he looked gorgeous, all fucked out and glowy from the sheen of sweat that laid over his skin. still, that didn't stop you from noticing the slightly worried expression that took over his features.

"what is it?" you questioned, your weak arm reaching up to smooth some hair away from his forehead.

"i know you have said that you are okay with my not being able to procreate, but i just worry that i'm taking your dreams away. i do not wish to be the one that holds you back from the future you have always planned. i love you far too much to do that to you."

your gaze softened, and you shuffled closer to him, your hand finding his chest and resting over his heart.

"my future isn't dependent on having kids. it is, however, dependent on being with you."

elijah's hand rested on top of yours as his eyes searched yours, "you're certain?"

"i am. i promise."

elijah tag list (join here!): @amournoir @princess-charming-01 @kittyqrt @trenchmaniac @hopesdadswife @skydisneylover @the-kaya-aa

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daddy-dins-girl · 1 year

Text

Framed Around My Heart

Masterlist

AO3 link

Fandom: The Last of Us (HBO Universe)

Pairing: (platonic) Joel & Ellie

Summary: “We could’ve saved the world!” She shouted at him, her emotions running on overdrive in a way she hadn’t felt since their actual first night in Jackson all those months ago when she’d accused him of not caring about her. “The whole world, Joel!”

He stood in front of her, voice low and steady with his simple yet definite reply, “I did” - a breath. “I saved my whole world”

OR,

The first time Joel tells Ellie he loves her.

Word Count: 9.3k

Warnings: Swearing (it's Ellie y'all). Angst. Hurt & Comfort. PTSD Ellie. Briefly mentioned past violence. Joel and Ellie both being bad at feelings. Soft!Dad Joel (consider your ovaries warned!).

Notes: Takes place right after Season 1 ends. Joel and Ellie are back in Jackson. Idk when Ellie's birthday is, so I made one up...

They had settled in Jackson for a week now. Gotten the lay of the land, chosen their own house just across the street from Maria and Tommy’s, and soon would be assigned their first work details. Ellie was more than disappointed to learn that she was apparently “not old enough” to go on patrol duty and after a huge outburst towards the council that ended with Joel all but dragging her out of the building as she yelled at them that they were “fascist fucks” who could all “go to hell”, she’d eventually managed to calm down, but that didn’t mean she had to agree with them. She’d hated the idea of Joel going out there without her, almost as much as she hated the idea of herself being stuck in here without him; no matter how safe it was behind the walls. They needed each other, she told herself. It’s how they’d survived as long as they had. Unfortunately for her, Joel was assigned exactly that - Patrol Duty. Ellie had been tasked with stable duty. Readying the horses for the riders to take out which meant typically getting up extra early in the mornings, but on the bright side she didn’t have to speak to anyone and she was pretty sure all the horses loved her hilarious jokes she told them, unlike a certain surly old man she cohabited with who clearly was absent the day they were handing out senses of humor.

At least, she thought absently, she didn’t have to go to school. Yet. It was near enough for summer break to start that Maria had felt there wasn’t much point in her enrolling for a couple of weeks just to have three months off immediately. ‘Thank fucking Christ, finally some good news’, Ellie had muttered in response, earning her a disapproving glare from Joel. ‘Right, my fucking manners, Jesus, sorry’, Ellie responded, which just resulted in Joel tossing his hands up in the air, exasperated and Maria folding her arms across her chest. ‘What? I said sorry! That’s like, the definition of manners, how am I the asshole?’

Yep, they were settling in just fine.

…

Ellie hated days Joel would go on patrols. They were too long and the house too quiet with him not in it. Being alone with just her own thoughts as company was never good, she had soon figured out. At first she tried to just sleep the day away when he would be gone but it seemed she wasn’t able to sleep without him anywhere more than a few metres away from her. When they’d first moved in they both tried to be normal fucking human beings and sleep in their own rooms and their own beds but not less than an hour after they’d said their goodnights on their first night in Jackson Ellie had roamed out of her room to seek out Joel ‘just need to make sure the old fucker didn’t croak in his sleep or something’ she had reasoned with herself, only to take one step outside of her room and nearly trip over Joels legs sprawled on the floor as he had apparently set himself up just outside her bedroom door, sitting on the floor with his back leaning against the wall.

“We’re pathetic” Ellie sighed, sliding down the wall to sidle up next to him, head instinctively leaning onto his shoulder.

“Totally” Joel had sighed in agreement.

Shortly afterwards they had fallen asleep just like that, sitting on the floor, limbs spread across the hallway, and Joel’s back cursed him for it the following morning.

The next night, and for nearly two weeks afterwards, they had set up camp in the living room instead; mattresses on the floor just a few feet apart, Joel always closest to the front door, just in case but also out of habit. Finally, and maybe after Tommy had wandered in early one morning and teased them endlessly about having “sleepovers” and whether or not they braided each others hair too, they had agreed to try sleeping in their own rooms and most nights it went off without incident. Other nights however, Ellie would wake up covered in a sheen of sweat and flailing her arms wildly only to open her eyes suddenly and see Joel looming above her, grabbing onto her arms to try and still her and speaking calmly to her, hushing her. Whispered “babygirl’s” and “I got you’s” and “it’s me, it’s ok, you’re ok’s” whispered into the harsh darkness of her bedroom, reminding her of where she was until he’d brought her back down to earth and she’d settle again. She hated those nights. Hated feeling helpless like that, and like she was a little kid that needed coddling after her bad dreams, but dammit all if she didn’t immediately allow Joel to wrap her up in his willing embrace each time, seeking comfort in the warmth he provided. She could feel embarrassed about it in the morning, that could be Tomorrow Ellie’s problem because in the moment, Joel’s comfort was everything she needed and she’d take everything he offered.

The dreams tended to all be more or less the same. Winter. Snow. Fire. Smoke. Blood. David’s face; or what was left of it after she’d bludgeoned it unrecognizable with a very large knife. On nights where the dreams decided to be particularly cruel, she’d lose her battle against David. Those were always the most jarring to wake from and took her an extra long time to be able to fall back asleep afterward, if she could at all. Thankfully her dreams didn’t always cause her to scream or throw a fit in her sleep so she didn’t always wake Joel. Sometimes she seemed to just suffer through them quietly with a few muffled whimpers and tosses and turns in the bedsheets and Joel was none the wiser until she’d come down for breakfast and he’d notice the darkness under her eyes and could tell she had a fitful sleep. Despite not always waking up thrashing from them, she always remembered her dreams the next morning; whether she wanted to or not.

However the dream she had last night was somewhat new territory. She’d had it a few times in the past, but after nearly 2 months in Jackson now it seems to be happening more and more frequently, almost more so than her David nightmares. It differed slightly, night to night, probably because she didn’t have factual evidence to pull from, but it was always the hospital in Salt Lake City. Fireflies, Raiders, Marlene, Joel, and a hell of a lot of bloodshed. Each time she’d wake up from this dream in particular her head felt fuzzy, unsure. She hated not knowing what actually happened that day, maybe she’d be able to process it better if she had (not that she was exactly processing the whole David fiasco, she argued to herself). Joel had left out a lot of details. “Raiders attacked the hospital, I barely got us out of there” and that was it. And any time she’d asked him about it since he’d immediately shot her down and sternly told her not to bring it up again. Did he not realize that only stoked her inquisitiveness further? Has he met her?

She’d had the dream again last night only Joel had been one of the Raiders in her dream this time, slaughtering everyone in his path and she awoke only when he reached her, lying helplessly strapped to a medical bed with Raider Joel holding a gun tight against her temple.

Paging Dr. Freud, anyone?

She didn’t know what the hell any of it meant, she only knew she had to get to the bottom of whatever had happened in that hospital.

And so that was what was currently on Ellie’s mind today as she sat in the small window seat of her bedroom, knees pulled up to her chest as her gaze was locked to the outside, watching the small but bustling community of Jackson on this hot August afternoon. The sun was still high in the sky which meant it would be hours before Joel returned from patrol duty. Which meant hours Ellie would be here alone, with only her own thoughts as company.

Like she said, she hated days Joel was on patrol.

A knock on the front door a few minutes later pulled Ellie from her reverie and she quickly scooted off the window seat and headed down the stairs to answer it.

Swinging the door open, confusion crossed Ellie’s features as her eyes landed on a woman she had scarcely recognized. It was an older woman, Mrs. - something or other, Ellie couldn’t be bothered to remember. Parker? Patterson? Definitely a P name. Ellie recognized her as one of the town council members that she had had that delightful meeting with just shortly after her and Joel’s arrival. Given by the less than impressive look this woman was giving her right now, she remembered it as well and must’ve drawn the short straw today to come here to… well, what exactly was she her for?

“Is it Joel?” Ellie blurt out suddenly, panic evident in her tone. “Did something happen, is he OK?”

The woman looked confused for a second and then suddenly let out a small laugh and waved her hand dismissively.

“Oh heavens no, nothing like that Dear, I’m sure everything’s fine. I’m here on official town business. For you, actually, Miss Ellie”

“Oh…” Ellie’s face scrunched up at that. Ellie didn’t have any official fucking business with anyone. Other than being an official pain in Joel’s ass.

“I understand you will be enrolling in school this Fall” the woman began in way of explanation and Ellie nodded slightly. Don’t fucking remind her.

“Well I have here your registration form you’ll need to fill out and have your…” she paused, looking a little helpless, as most adults did when they tried to discern just who exactly Ellie and Joel were to each other.

“Have Mr. Miller,” she settled on instead, “sign it and then you bring it along with you on your first day so we can file it away in your record. I know we are a few weeks away yet but I like to get these out early”

“Oh, um, ok I guess…” Ellie shrugged, reaching out and grabbing the single piece of paper.

“Just a little formality” the woman waved her hand again. “You know, we need your basic information and things like that, just so we have it on hand, should anything come up and we need it”

Ellie wondered briefly then why Maria hadn’t dropped it off, or even had Tommy do it if she was too chicken shit.

“Just making my rounds to all the new students today” the woman explained, as if she’d been reading Ellie’s mind.

“Right” Ellie nodded. “Well uh… thanks, for the homework before school even fucking starts” she mumbled the last part under her breath but given by the tiny gasp and look of horror that flashed across the woman in front of her, Ellie’s certain she heard her.

“Alllllllrighty then. Take care then, bye bye now” Ellie quipped, slamming the door in the woman’s face. Something she’d seen recently in a movie that Joel had shown her that had her in a total fit of giggles for the entire night.

Ellie wandered back into the house and dropped the piece of paper to the coffee table before flopping herself down onto the sofa. She bent over the table to have a look at what information she’d need to be giving out before she decided whether she’d bother trying to find a pen to fill it out now or if she’d push it off to later.

Name. Ok, easy. Date of Birth. Well, she’d had a general idea. Would writing just the month and year suffice, she wondered absently. Known Allergies. The thought of writing “learning, via fascist institutions” crossed her mind and she laughed a little to herself but then remembered Joel had to sign off on it so she better not. Dude could be such a killjoy. Next? Parent(s) and/or Guardian. Pass? Joel, she’d guess was technically her Guardian? Whatever that meant. Why wasn’t there just a spot for “other human being reluctantly tasked, due to unfortunate fucking happenstance, with keeping you alive” Emergency Contact (other than above) + Relationship. Also pass. The only other person in this godforsaken town she even liked speaking to besides Joel was in fact not a person, but a horse named Shimmer. And she didn’t think quadrupeds counted for emergency contacts.The whole notion of Ellie being in an actual emergency and some townsperson running to the stables to tell Shimmer all about did give her a bit of a chuckle though. She made a mental note to jot that down in her notebook, maybe make it into her own little comic series.

Finally at the bottom, a signature line for “Parent and/or Guardian”. There it was again, taunting her, laughing at her.

In the end Ellie decided that no, today was not the day she would fill any of this out. She couldn’t answer half of it anyway, so what was the point. Stupid school. Even shitty FEDRA school knew not to ask orphans stupid fucking questions like this. Ellie folded up the paper into a small square and shoved it into the front zipper pocket of her backpack that was leaning next to the couch. Another problem for another day. Or hell she’d probably just throw it at Joel and tell him that the annoying old lady (who is somehow even more of a dinosaur than Joel and still alive) said it was his job to do it. Yeah, that might work.

With a heavy sigh Ellie laid back onto the couch cushions, arm coming to rest over her face as she tried to shut out the sunlight pouring in through the open windows. Maybe if she was bored enough she’d fall asleep and then Joel would be home.

…

Another two weeks had come and gone and Ellie’s Salt Lake City dream variation had now been haunting her almost nightly, completely replacing her usual David nightmares. Just two nights ago it had been traumatizing enough to rouse Joel from his sleep and he had come into her room as he always had when her screams woke him only this time, when she had become alert enough to notice his presence, she had shoved him off her damn near hard enough he almost fell off the bed.

“Ellie!” He had gasped at the surprise. “It’s me, it’s-”

“I know!” she scowled in response, shoving at his shoulder when he tried once again to reach out to comfort her.

“Ellie” he sighed, keeping his distance this time, but holding his hands out in front of him as if he was approaching some scared wild animal he was trying to coax into calmness.

“I’m not,” Ellie began and huffed, unsure what she wanted to say, she just knew she didn’t want his comfort. Not this time.

“I’m not a baby Joel! I don’t need you to come running in here every time I have a stupid bad dream. I’m 15 years old, not 6!”

Joel flinched, as if her words physically harmed him. She saw the look of hurt flash across his face before he swallowed hard, dropped his arms and gave her a short nod before pushing himself up from her bed and seeing himself out of her bedroom. Part of her wanted to chase him out of her room, tell him how sorry she was and fall into his arms and forget the exchange ever happened, but a larger part of her knew she couldn’t do that. Joel’s been lying to her. She isn’t stupid. She knows he isn’t telling her the whole truth (if he’s even telling her any truth at all) and it’s because of him that she’s having these nightmares in the first place. So no, he didn’t get to cause the nightmares and then run in and play hero for it. Not if she ever wanted to get to the bottom of what really happened.

Luckily the two days following that incident Joel had been on patrol so she hadn’t seen much of him. They’d have dinner together but it was mostly in silence. Joel would ask about her day and she would mumble a “fine” as she pushed her food around her plate and then she’d fake being tired and go to bed shortly afterwards, foregoing their usual movie or board games they’d do after dinner.

~~~

Joel remained seated at the dining room table long after Ellie had pretended to be tired and gone off to bed. He wasn’t an idiot, he knew her well enough to know when she was tired or when she was flat out avoiding him on purpose and this was certainly the latter. She’d been like this for days now and it was really starting to get to him. He didn’t know what had happened to cause it either. Sure she got moody with him sometimes, as all teenagers did around their parents or even authority figures, but she’d never been like this or for this long without at least a hint of what troubled her.

He thought back to just two nights ago when he’d woken up to her screaming and thrashing in her bed. That in and of itself was not unusual for her, but the way she reacted towards him was completely out of left field. She had shoved him off of her as if he were the bad guy, the one haunting her dreams, when all he wanted to do was hold her until her trembling subsided, the way he always had.

“I’m 15 years old, not 6!” The words she spat at him still plagued his mind. His heart nearly broke at that. Not at the fact that she didn’t always need him coddling her, he knew the day would come where she didn’t and he would be so glad for her (even if it did hurt his heart just a little to not be needed like that anymore as she got older) but the part that killed him is when she told him she was 15. 15! When had he missed that? When they’d met she had been 14, and if he wasn’t such an idiot he would’ve done the math and figured logically that hey, nearly a year has past since we met, shouldn’t you have had a birthday by now? But it didn’t cross his mind all the time they’d been together so he never thought to ask. But to hear her just gloss over the fact that she was an entire year older and he’d never acknowledged it or even knew about it, damn near broke him. Sure, FEDRA probably didn’t exactly throw you a party and invite all your classmates and bake you a damn cake but surely her birthday must have meant something to her, hadnt it? Enough that she would at least want Joel to acknowledge it. “Hey asshole it’s my birthday so you have to laugh at all my jokes today” or something similar at least.

One thing for sure, no matter what the hell was going on with Ellie right now, was that he owed her a damn birthday present.

...

The next day Joel had the day off from patrol, but Joel being Joel couldn’t just sit around his comfortable house all day and do next to nothing so he decided he’d be productive. Ellie had gone off to her morning shift at the stables anyway (and even if she hadn’t he had a good feeling she wouldn’t want to hang out with him regardless, if the last couple of days had been any indication) so he figured today was as good a time as any to get started on a project he’d been meaning to for the past month. So that’s how he found himself standing in the middle of his garage on this hot August morning.

He stood in the middle of the concrete floor scratching the back of his head, not entirely sure where to begin… The place had apparently, before he and Ellie moved into the main house, been a dumping ground for anything and everything that the residents of Jackson no longer had space for. There were broken appliances, boxes piled to the ceiling in some places, furniture, some lumber, and probably a hell of a lot more that Joel had yet to uncover. His first order of business had to be sorting through everything to see what would be kept and what could be tossed. See if he could make heads or tails of what was wrong with anything broken and if he could fix it, and for anything else it was a matter of whether anybody could make any use of it and if not, he’d get rid of it.

A while back he'd had the idea that maybe he could turn it into a decent hangout spot for Ellie, somewhere she could have her own space, have her friends over, that kind of thing. He remembered himself as a teenager taking over the family garage to practice with his band and he and his friends had spent every damn day for the better part of 3 summers in it, creating some of the best memories of his life. He wanted Ellie to have that too. Maybe, he thought inwardly, he could fix it up and surprise her with it. Try and have it ready to give her for her 16th birthday, whenever the hell that was.

He still had to get to the bottom of that, but first he had to get Ellie to even speak more than three words at a time to him; something which she hadn’t seemed to be able to do as of late. He had no idea what was going on in that girl's head these days, but he needed to figure it out. He would talk to her. Today, he told himself.

Joel kept busy for the next couple of hours. He’d started with sorting through the dozens of boxes, finding much more trash than treasure, just as he had figured he would. It was scorching outside and he was hot and covered in sweat but told himself he’d at least finish sorting through the boxes before he took a break so when he looked down to see the last box that required sorting he murmured a quiet ‘thank god’ as he wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his arm and then bent down to pick up the final box. Pulling the box out of the corner Joel noticed a small dark blue duffle bag that looked out of place shoved in behind where he pulled the box from. It wasn’t covered in a thick layer of dust like everything else in the room had been, and moreover, he’d noticed it because it was a bag he had brought home from a patrol a month or so ago. Back then it was full of movies, art supplies and a few other things he had found out on the road that he thought Ellie might like so he’d brought it home for her and given it to her that night.

“What the hell?” Joel wondered aloud, placing the box back on the ground and reaching instead for the duffle. He had seen her using the things he had brought home in the bag before so he was certain she hadn’t just taken the bag from him and tossed it in the back of the garage. Whatever was in the bag it seemed like she had been hiding it, and he’d silently hoped that whatever he found inside might give him some insight into just what the hell was going on with her these days.

~~~

It was late afternoon when Ellie finally decided to call it a day. Her shift at the stable was normally only 3 hours but today she knew Joel was at home and she was nothing if not a professional avoider these days so she decided to stay late and do an extra thorough cleaning of the stables and the horses. She stayed out there until the sun, high in the sky, became too sweltering for her to stand. Her clothes clung to her body from all the sweat and she was in desperate need of a shower. If she could draw that out long enough when she got home it wouldn’t be much longer until dinner and maybe she’d convince Joel to go to the mess hall tonight rather than dinner at home so they could at least have other people to look at while they both pretended she wasn’t completely ignoring him.

Yes, a perfect plan.

Her perfect plan however fizzled abruptly when she walked into their home only to find Joel standing in the middle of the kitchen, arms folded across his chest with an empty blue duffel bag hanging over a dining chair; its contents spilled all over their eating table.

Shit.

��I need to shower” Ellie said, hoping to ignore him and turning towards the stairs.

“Ellie Williams you get back here this instant” Joel demanded, his tone leaving zero room for argument and Ellie groaned, turning back towards the kitchen. She stopped a few feet in front of him, let out a heavy sigh and let her arms drop to her sides.

“What?” she huffed in annoyance.

“You know damn well what. Sit your ass down, we’re having a conversation” Joel snapped, pointing towards one of the dining room chairs and Ellie rolled her eyes but obeyed him, shuffling past to plop down on the furthest chair and folding her arms defensively.

“Now you wanna explain to me just what in the hell all this is?” Joel asked, arm sweeping above the table top that was littered with canned foods, her knife that Maria had confiscated months ago (“not until you’re 16 Ellie” - bullshit), a handgun (this one she had managed to steal from Tommy, she was actually quite proud of when she pulled that one off), a box of ammo (Joel’s) and a road atlas of the United States.

“Well if I gotta explain fucking canned beans to you maybe you should be starting school next week instead of me” she huffed.

Judging by the vein in Joel’s neck that looked like it was about to explode through his skin, maybe not her wisest move.

“Don’t get smart with me Ellie” Joel threatened, pointing a finger at her. “Just what in the hell you were doing with a damn ‘go bag’, huh? You plan on runnin’ away or somthin’?”

“No” she offered weakly, looking away, anywhere but at Joel. She knew he’d never physically harm her, but he had never been this pissed with her before either and she did not like it.

Joel heaved a heavy sigh. He knew he had to reign in his anger but damnit if she didn’t make it difficult on him.

“Well then what the hell were you doing kiddo” Joel said softly, a sigh escaping his lips as his hands fell to his sides. Yes he was angry but he wanted a real conversation. He squatted down next to her so they were at eye level.

“I need to know what’s going on up here” he said, lightly tapping his index finger against her head before she batted it away.

“Will you talk to me please?” he asked gently. He wasn’t above begging at this point.

“You promised” she mumbled under her breath, head still facing away from him and staring at the blank wall instead.

“What?”

She turned towards him then, rolling her eyes. “You promised. I asked you if everything you said about the Fireflies was true and you promised it was. Tell me you didn’t fucking lie to me Joel” she seethed through gritted teeth and Joel closed his eyes for a brief moment, taking a breath.

“This again, with the Fireflies? Ellie I -” he began but she was quick to cut him off.

“Last chance Joel. Last chance to tell me the fucking truth because if you lie to me again, I’m done. We’re done” Her words came out sharply and she saw Joel’s face flinch at her threat. She meant it too, she couldn’t live with someone who was lying to her about the single most important thing in her life. She wouldn’t live like that.

“I’ll fucking leave Joel, I will. I’ll do it when you’re out on patrol or fucking sleeping and you won’t be able to stop me. I’ll go to Salt Lake City myself and I will find out what happened, one way or another. And if I find out on my own that you lied to me, you’ll never see me again”

“Is that what the bag is for? Fucking road trip to Salt Lake City by yourself? Tryna' get yourself killed? Jesus, Ellie” Joel hung his head. He knew she’d do it too, and that thought absolutely terrified him. It scared him far more than whatever her reaction may be if he were to tell her the truth right now. Her running off like that, alone, and never seeing her again? Nope, no way. She could hate him for the rest of her life before he’d ever let that happen.

“Okay” he sighed with defeat, putting his hands up in surrender. Time to bite the bullet.

Joel stood up from his crouched position, his joints protesting when he did, and took a seat in the chair next to hers, folding his arms on the table.

“From the beginning” Ellie demanded.

“When I… came to, you know, in the hospital, Marlene was there” he began into the story he’d been dreading to tell her for months, unable to look her in the eyes, though he could feel her gaze boring into him from across the table. He wasn't sure how exactly he was supposed to tell her this. It would crush her, he knows. And how could he possibly make her understand? How does he tell her he'd burn the entire world down for her if it meant keeping her safe and have her not hate him for it? He'd failed Sarah. He'd failed Tess. He couldn't fail her, too. He wouldn't survive it, not again. Could she even grasp how he felt about her? Sure he wasn't exactly Mr. 'lets talk about our feelings' and neither was she, but he needed her to understand the simple fact that well, she was everything to him.

“God Damnit Ellie they were going to kill you!” he shouted, finally turning his head to look at her. “That’s the bottom line of it all, ok? They were gonna poke around in your fucking brain like a god damn game of Operation so they could remove the cordyceps and you’d be fucking dead”

Ok, maybe not exactly giving her the warm and fuzzies right now. He'd never been great with his words.

“No,” Ellie shook her head as tears began to well in her eyes. “That’s - that’s not true, you’re - you’re fucking lying!” she shoved hard at his shoulder but he barely moved.

“Ellie” he said her name softly now and looked into her eyes. “I’m sorry baby, but it’s the truth. Marlene told me everything. She said that -” he sniffled quietly and wiped at his own wet eyes quickly with the back of his hand. “She said that they didn’t tell you so you wouldn’t be scared that you wouldn’t feel any pain and… they wouldn’t take me to you. Wouldn’t let me see you”. Fresh tears were streaming down Ellie’s face now that she frantically tried to wipe away with her shirt sleeve as she listened to Joel tell his side of the story.

He told her everything, even told her about his standoff with Marlene in the underground parking lot and how that ended and Ellie just listened silently, taking it all in.

“So you just... Killed everyone” Ellie summarized for him and Joel hung his head.

“Ellie” another sigh. “They had no evidence that their hare-brained scheme was going to work. They had no conclusive tests done and they wanted to murder their only test subject! Now I thought I was bringing you there to draw some blood or something, not cut your goddamn brain out of your head. Who knows if this hack Doctor even knew what he was doing!” Joel was getting revved up again but he couldn’t help himself, the anger he’d felt that day still bubbling at the surface all these months later.

“Could’ve been a goddamn Chiropractor for all we know, out there tryna play brain surgeon with my kids fucking head? Mnmm mmm” he shook his head and Ellie tried to ignore the fact that he’d just referred to her as his kid. “Not on my broken fucking watch, kiddo” he tapped his watch for emphasis as he stared directly into her eyes.

Her heart didn't allow her to ignore a comment like that and she'd felt it tighten in her chest, like all the air had suddenly been sucked out of the room and she could barely breathe. Ellie wasn’t sure if she wanted to crumble to the floor in tears or hit him as hard as she could.

She opted for neither and pushed herself back abruptly from the table and stood up and Joel followed suit, ready to grab for her if she had chosen this moment to make a run for it. They both stood still in a standoff, Joel could tell by the way her shoulders trembled that she was upset. He’d let her say what she had to say.

“We could’ve saved the world!” She shouted at him, her emotions running on overdrive in a way she hadn’t felt since their actual first night in Jackson all those months ago when she’d accused him of not caring about her. “The whole world, Joel!”

He stood in front of her, voice low and steady with his simple yet definite reply, “I did” - a breath. “I saved my whole world”

The words hung in the air between them, the silence growing heavily around them until finally Joel spoke again.

“I love you, Ellie” he admitted softly, looking straight at her as she lowered her head and twiddled her fingers nervously. He wondered absently if that was the first time she’d ever heard those words and his heart felt heavy in his chest at the thought.

“And truth be told, I don't care if that Doctor was the best brain surgeon on the damn planet and a cure was all but guaranteed, it wouldn't have changed my mind because I didn't have a choice. And I know you don't understand that right now and I don't expect you to. But I am sorry that I lied to you, ok? I am not, however, sorry for what I did and I will never be sorry for that.” he explained and she stayed still and silent in front of him so he continued. “Even if it means you hate me for the rest of my life, well… at least it means you’ll live to see it and I can never be sorry about that, not ever”

“I know you think this cure was your purpose Ellie but what if…” He stopped to shake his head before placing his hands on his hips and taking a breath. “What if you were my purpose?” He asked, unshed tears in his eyes as Ellie finally lifted her head to meet his gaze.

She let out a breath, trying to collect her thoughts before she responded but didn’t get a chance before the distinct crackling static of a walkie talkie coming to life grabbed both their attention.

“Joel, Ellie!” It was Tommy’s voice on the other end and he sounded frantic. Both Joel and Ellie were staring at the small black 2-way radio that was sitting on the kitchen counter. Joel made a move to grab for it before Tommy’s voice filled their small space again. “It’s Maria she -” his voice cut out as they heard Maria scream Tommy’s name from a distance away. “Oh shoot, I gotta go, we’re at the clinic!”

“Tommy!” Joel was yelling for his brother into the radio but getting no response. “Tommy! Tom- Damnit!” Joel huffed, slamming the radio back down on the counter. Leave it to his brother to call him with an apparent emergency, not tell him what the emergency was, and then go literal radio-silence on him.

“Let’s go” was all Joel said to Ellie and they were both running for the door.

The pair headed out into the street and made the short jog across town to where the clinic was housed. It was a two-storied brick building, one of the larger ones in town and one that thankfully by some miracle, Joel or Ellie had never had to visit before.

“Tommy?” Joel called out the moment they crossed the threshold inside, looking around but not seeing his brother - or anyone for that matter - in sight.

Suddenly they heard a bloodcurdling scream from Maria and both Ellie and Joel shared a quick glance before they both took off running up the stairs where the noise had come from.

They’d made it nearly all the way up the staircase when a second noise rang out through the house and this one stopped Joel dead in his tracks. He gripped the railing so he didn’t fall down the damn stairs as the distinct and familiar first cries of a newborn infant flooded the space.

“Holy shit!” Ellie whispered excitedly, also having come to a dead halt on the stairs when she’d heard the cry.

Joel took a minute to collect himself, holding the staircase railing in a death grip as he tried to get his breathing under control. That sound took him right back to the best day of his life, nearly 35 years ago when his little Sarah had taken her first breaths in this world and had changed his entire life in an instant. Hearing Tommy’s little one’s lungs working at full capacity would likely be the second best sound he’s ever heard in his life, Joel thinks.

“C’mon, lets go see!” Ellie said to him as she practically bounced up the rest of the stairs, eager to meet the latest Miller clan member.

“Ellie” Joel snapped out of his momentary daze to call out to her and she stopped just outside the closed door at the top of the stairs.

“Just, wait now” he told her as he climbed the rest of the stairs. Ellie obeyed, bouncing on the balls of her feet in anticipation. He didn’t want to barge in on whatever state Maria might be in right now; childbirth wasn’t exactly something you wanted a big audience for, so they waited outside the door for a couple minutes until everything started to quiet and finally the door opened as a woman that Joel recognized as the town doctor came out.

“Oh, looks like we have visitors!” The doctor said to Joel and Ellie but loud enough that Tommy and Maria could hear her. She pushed the door open wider so that Tommy and Maria could see who it was and Tommy waved them inside.

“S’ok Doc, they're family” Tommy smiled widely.

Ellie froze for a quick moment, glancing between Maria and Tommy and back to Joel but Joel just put a hand on her back and led her inside, apparently she was the only one overthinking the whole “family” comment. She stared at the scene before her, Maria lying in a bed under some blankets with a small bundle in her arms wrapped in a crisp white towel and Tommy hovering over her with possibly the biggest smile Ellie’s ever seen from anyone before, one hand brushing the top of Maria’s hair while the other laid protectively against one of her arms that held the baby.

“It’s a girl” Tommy announced to no one in particular, not able to tear his gaze away from his newborn daughter. “Name’s Rose,” he continued. “Rose Sarah Miller”

Ellie chanced a quick glance at Joel for that. Tommy seemed up in the clouds somewhere and just tossed Sarah’s name out there as if it might not swallow Joel up whole but Ellie, with two feet firmly on the floor and not in the sky, needed to make sure he was ok. To her surprise, a smile that nearly matched Tommy’s crossed Joel’s features and fresh tears came to his eyes.

Ellie let out a breath of relief.

“She’s beautiful, Tommy” Joel said sincerely and Ellie had never seen him look so happy before. It made her feel warm.

“Congratulations to you both” Joel said and both parents finally tore their gaze away from Rose long enough to acknowledge them.

“Ellie,” Maria piped up a moment later. “Would you like to hold her?”

Ellie stared wide-eyed for a few long seconds before she finally looked over to Joel, silently asking for permission.

“Well, go on” Joel nodded towards the bed and nudged her shoulder with his.

Ellie smiled brightly and quickly crossed the room to where a large armchair sat next to Maria, the opposite side that Tommy was occupying.

“Do I just sit?” Ellie asked, she wasn’t sure what the protocol was, literally never having held a newborn before.

“Yeah, sit there, hold your arms out and I’ll pass her to you. Just always one hand under her head ok?” She instructed and Ellie nodded her head before sliding her backpack off her shoulders and dropping it to the ground.

“Rose, this is your cousin, Ellie” Maria spoke softly as she passed the small warm bundle of life over. Ellie quickly glanced up to Joel, eyes widened with pure joy at Maria’s words. She’d never been a cousin to anyone before. Hell, she’d never been anything to anyone before. Not really. And suddenly here she was, apparently now part of a family of 5.

Ellie was sure to have one hand under Rose’s head and the other arm cradled her against her chest as she held the tiny gurgling baby in her arms, mesmerized by her instantly. She now understood how Tommy couldn't’ tear his gaze away from her either.

“So fucking cool” Ellie whispered, playing with the tiny pink fingers that were reaching for her hand.

“Sorry” Ellie immediately admitted sheepishly. Maria didn’t like her cursing under normal circumstances, let alone when a newborn baby was in her arms.

Maria shot her a look but her mouth curled up into a small smile. “I’ll let it slide since you’re excited, but let me tell you if my baby’s first word is a curse, you are losing your babysitting privileges Missy”

“I’ll watch my mouth around her, I swear” Ellie assured her frantically before focusing back on Rose.

“Hard to believe you were ever once that small huh Ellie?” Tommy said with a laugh as Ellie stared down at baby Rose in complete wonder.

“Or that quiet” Joel added without missing a beat and Ellie rolled her eyes at him playfully.

“Don’t listen to him little Rose” Ellie cooed to the infant. “You and me are gonna be best buddies and we’ll gang up on your mean old Uncle Joel”

“Oh great so there’ll be two pains in my butt, can’t wait for that” Joel deadpanned before he crossed the room over to Ellie and held his hands out.

“Let me see that niece of mine anyway, you’re hoggin’ all the new baby smell”

Ellie grinned widely at how playful Joel was being and decided it looked really good on him. It reminded her of the first time she made him laugh, like really made him laugh. The night right before they met Henry and Sam when she had told him a stupid joke that left them both in tears from laughing so hard.

Joel completely relaxed when Rose got into his arms and he rocked and bounced her gently in his embrace. He looked completely in his element even though Ellie figured it has probably been decades since he last held a baby. He was smiling down at her and letting her small chubby hands grasp his finger and Ellie just watched in amazement. Babies had some sort of magical power or spell it seemed, she thought absently. These hardened fighters, killers, even, now all sat in this room as four big piles of melted goo for this tiny little human wrapped up in a bath towel.

They stayed for another hour or so, Ellie manipulating Joel into letting her have Rose again until the Doctor came back into the room, gently reminding Joel and Ellie that Maria needed her rest. Ellie groaned in disappointment but understood and passed the baby to Tommy after planting the gentlest kiss to the tip of her tiny nose.

“Now you let us know if you need anything” Joel said, his hands landing on Maria’s shoulders and she smiled up at him.

“We will, don’t worry”

“Come on kiddo, we better get home” Joel sighed, placing a hand to the back of Ellie’s neck and steering her towards the door. “These two are gonna need their rest, trust me”

They all said their goodnights and Joel and Ellie headed back down the stairs and out the front door.

“How fucking cool was that!” Ellie yelled up to the now darkened sky the moment they were outside. “A fucking baby?!”

“Hey what happened to watching your mouth?” Joel asked, but his tone was playful.

“I said around the baby, she can’t hear me now” Ellie said with a flippant wave of her hand towards the clinic.

Joel just hummed in agreement. He should’ve known better anyway.

They were nearly all the way home when Ellie stopped and slapped a hand to her forehead.

“Oh shit”

“What?” Joel asked, turning towards her.

“I forgot my backpack, I put it down when I was holding Rose”

Joel looked between Ellie and the clinic. They were more than halfway home already, not that it was very far, but it was late and Maria was supposed to be getting some rest.

“I’ll be quick, and quiet, I swear, in and out!” Ellie said briskly, likely already knowing what he was going to say and Joel sighed but nodded his head.

“Hurry up then” he gestured toward the clinic. “I’ll meet you at home”

Ellie ran off towards the clinic, not waiting for Joel to change his mind. When she got inside she slowly walked up the stairs, not wanting to make too much noise in case anyone was actually asleep. When she reached the top of the stairs and the door to Maria’s room it was partially open, she poked her head inside first to look.

Maria looked fast asleep but Tommy was slowly pacing the room with a slightly fussing baby Rose held in his arms as he looked down at her and talked softly, rocking her gently as he spoke.

“It’s okay babygirl, Daddy’s got you” he whispered into the stillness of the room. “I got you and I ain’t gonna let anybody ever hurt you, you hear me babygirl? I’ll keep you safe, always, I promise”

Tears welled up in Ellie’s eyes as she watched the two of them. She thought about Joel and Sarah. She had thought about them a lot tonight, and she wondered if Joel did too. Then she thought about how Joel had wrapped her in his arms after David and had all but said the same things that Tommy was telling his daughter now. She could hear the love in the way Tommy spoke to Rose and it hit her like a ton of bricks that it was no different than how Joel had spoken to her too.

Not wanting to dwell on that too much longer; or stand in the doorway prying on a private moment between father and daughter either, Ellie quickly swept away the tears at her eyes and gently rapped her knuckle against the wood door and peeked her head all the way inside once she had Tommy’s attention.

“Sorry I um, forgot my bag” she said sheepishly, nodding her head towards her backpack that lay on the ground resting up against the armchair.

“Oh, go ahead” Tommy whispered so as to not wake Maria. Ellie quickly crossed the room and grabbed her bag before quickly making her exit. Offering a quick wave over her shoulder as she left the room. She probably could’ve left it for tomorrow, but there was something important inside of it she decided she needed tonight.

Closing the door quietly behind her when she entered her home she was unsurprised to find Joel still awake and waiting for her. He was in the kitchen, gathering up all the items from the table and stuffing them back into the duffel bag. Ellie watched from the threshold, fidgeting with her fingers.

“We still needin’ this?” Joel asked directly, looking right at Ellie. The magical baby spell apparently over and reality settling back in around them.

“No” Ellie answered quietly, just looking at the floor.

“Good, put it away then” Joel replied, holding the bag out towards her. She nodded once and took the bag, grabbing the cans out one by one and putting them away in the cupboard. Her knife she’d slid into the side pocket of her backpack and she saw Joel’s eyes follow it but he said nothing; she figured he probably actually preferred her being armed anyway, for her own safety. She handed Joel the box of ammunition and left the gun in the bag, placing it down on the kitchen chair and shrugging at Joel.

“Tommy’s. I’ll… give it back to him tomorrow”

“Ok” was all Joel responded with and a silence fell over the room for several minutes.

“Look, Ellie” Joel began eventually, leaning against the doorframe of the kitchen. He looked tired. “I think I… Well, I said pretty much everything I needed to say, you know, earlier”

“I know” Ellie nodded, her voice quiet. She had a lot to digest, emotionally, after everything tonight.

“Are you… ok?” are we ok, she knows is what he means but doesn’t ask.

“Yeah” she says, and it’s the truth. She still hates that Joel lied to her, repeatedly, but after tonight, well, she can admit she understands why he did what he did.

“You keep going for family” Joel’s words from nearly a year ago ring in her head. She didn’t get it then, but she does now. She just met Rose an hour ago and she knows already she’d take a bullet for her if it came to it. Do anything to keep her safe, her little baby cousin, her family. Seeing Tommy with Rose made her think of how gutted Joel must have been when he’d lost Sarah and how of course he would do anything to prevent ever having to live through that again.

“My whole world.” She closes her eyes, remembering the pain on his face at the confession.

“Well, it’s late” Joel says matter of factly and it snaps her out of her reverie.

“Yeah, right” Ellie nods, hands still clasped in front of her and gaze still permanently fixed to the floor. She turns then and heads up the stairs towards her bedroom.

“Hey, Ellie” his voice stops her in her tracks and she turns, finally looking him in the eyes as he stands at the bottom of the stairs.

“When’s your birthday?” he asks, folding his arms over his chest and she puffs out a laugh. She wasn’t expecting that.

“Um… like April? Sometime… I don’t know what day exactly. When’s yours?”

“September 26th”

“Oh cool, so like exactly one month difference from Rose” she smiles, genuinely thinking it's pretty awesome that they were both born on the 26th day of the month. “Well, one month and like a thousand years or whatever” she finishes her thought, not able to help herself and Joel rolls his eyes.

“Ha ha” Joel deadpans. “‘Be nice to me now, or I’m not gonna get ya a belated birthday present”

“You’re gonna get me a present?” Ellie’s eyes lit up at that.

“I’ll think a’somthin’” Joel nodded. “In the meantime you think on it and pick a day in April so we can celebrate properly next year”

“Turning soft on me old man?”

“Guilty as charged I guess” Joel just shrugged and Ellie smirked.

“Goodnight Joel” she said and he nodded.

“G’night Ellie”

Before she could talk herself out of it Ellie quickly padded down the stairs and threw her arms around Joel’s waist in a hug, nearly knocking him over in surprise she thinks by the way he partially stumbled backwards before wrapping his arms around her too. He kisses the top of her head and then she lets go, turning around and scurrying up the stairs to go to bed.

She sleeps through the night that night, for the first time in months.

~~~

Joel slowly makes his way down the stairs the next morning, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he heads towards the kitchen to make some coffee. It’s early but he had heard Ellie go out the door for her shift at the stables and it woke him up. Not that he minded, he liked to be up early, even on his days off from patrol. Besides, he had a garage to fix up, he owed Ellie that birthday present, after all.

Wandering into the kitchen Joel prepared his coffee and went to bring the steaming mug to his lips but stopped when he noticed something on the table when he’d turned around. There was a piece of paper lying there with a smaller piece of paper placed on top of it. He picked up the smaller piece and read the note that was scribbled in Ellie’s familiar uppercase handwriting.

OLD MAN -

That dinosaur of a lady on the council with the stick up her butt said I had to fill out this form and that you need to sign it. Fascism wins again. Heheheheh just kidding, kind of. See you tonight. Chef Boyardee?

Love, Ellie.

Joel stared at the note, particularly the last two words and a smile reached his eyes. He folded it neatly and put it in his pocket to put it in a safe place later so he could hang on to it. If he’d had a picture frame he’d probably damn well frame it. Jesus, he had gone soft.

Next he picked up the form underneath and glanced over the information Ellie had given.

Name. Ellie Williams-Miller. Joel’s heart caught in his throat but he swallowed it down and kept reading. Date of Birth. April 26th, 2009. He smiled. She’d chosen the same day that his and Rose’s birthdays had fallen on. Cute kid. Known Allergies. None. Joel commended her for not writing in a joke about being allergic to learning or something equally ridiculous. Parent(s) and/or Guardian. Joel Miller. She had circled over 'parent'. There went his heart flip flopping in his chest again. Pull it together old man. Emergency Contact (other than above) + Relationship. Tommy Miller (Uncle). He’d bet Tommy couldn’t wait to be addressed as an Uncle again. He briefly wondered if Ellie would ever call him Uncle Tommy. Maybe he’d let her know that Tommy might like that and let her decide if she wants to.

The last line was for parent/guardian signature and Joel quickly scribbled his name down and then stared at the form again until his coffee had surely gone cold.

Ok, Maybe he needed two picture frames.

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