#I’m gonna be fine it’s a classic low mood caused by stress but it does suck

[voiceshearingyouloud]

In that lovely depression place where if I make a tiny mistake my brain turns it into ‘I’m a complete failure and I should just die because nothing I do will ever be enough’ which is just great

[xsixxx]

Bad Influence - Chapter 11

Word Count - 5.4K

Authors Note - It's been a while! 👋🏻 About 4 months I think 😬 If there are any Bad Influence fans actually left out there, I'm so sorry & I love you. I had a really fuckin shitty last few months of 2019 & because of that, I kinda stopped doing the stuff I enjoy, writing this fanfic & using this blog being one of them.

Then I tried to come back before I was ready 😂 I wrote this chapter out about 2 months ago, but never bothered to post it bcos I didn't care enough about it. But I've recently returned to it, rewrote it & remembered why I fuckin love writing this fanfic. So I'm super excited to post this chapter & I hope you don't all hate it after how long it's been 😂 It's a bit rough bcos I'm getting back into it & I'm kinda rusty!

I love you guys for baring with me, I can't wait to get back into writing this fic for you 🖤

Warnings - Um, the f word is used in like every sentence oops, some implied smut when Nikki is remembering (choking trigger warning), I guess 'violence' but not really violence???, a whole lot of angst & a teeny bit of fluff at the end

Tags - @cruecifymesixx @freddiessmallnipples @queen-crue @scarecrowmax @lovesick-heart0 @littlesunnymoon @80sheart-strings @cranberrirolls @inthebackofmycarlaytheirbodies @versnatasha @zoenicolesetser @crazysaladchopshop @ggorehorror @lunamadhatter99 @justtryingtoovercome @chaoticvybe @you-know-im-a-dreamer @eightiesrockbaby @valentines-in-london @xrosegoldwolfx @fupatroopaa @lilypetite88 @this-blog-must-be-the-place @ashleecrue @lauravic @dark-princess99 @unknownoblivion @mgkobsessed @antheasnow @rockaholi @nassauartist @sparxx27

(there's one bit where Nikki is glaring across the bar at a character & this gif is spot on)

*Nikkis POV*

I drummed my fingers to the sound of a guitar as I watched Mick do his thing through the glass of the recording booth, his fingers working magic as he played the riff to Looks That Kill.

Fuck, that weird little guy could play.

“Nikki, this song is gonna fucking kill!” Tommy yelled enthusiastically, beating his drumsticks on the arm of the battered couch his was lounging on.

I smiled weakly back at him, my nerves keeping me from matching his excitement. “I hope so,” I mumbled. I look around the studio, basking in the enormity of where we were right now. Mötley was recording their second album & my nerves were shot. It had to be perfect. It had to do well.

“Stop stressing man, everyone’s gonna fucking freak over this album, I just know it!” He replied, smiling encouragingly, his usual Tommy level of positivity feeling sickeningly sweet, but still, I nodded at him gratefully. “So we hitting up The Whisky or what tonight boys?” He continued, addressing Vince as well as me, who was pouting on the couch next to him.

I chuckled without amusement, shaking my head. “Fuck no, not a chance I’m going in there yet.”

Tommy scowled at me. “Sixx, come on dude, you cant avoid the place forever. Plus, she might not even be working tonight!”

“I’m not risking it! I’m not gonna be able to enjoy the night if she’s there, judging my every fucking move, you know how she is.” I replied, rolling my eyes.

“So you’ve still not talked to her since..” Tommy trailed off, awkwardly. But Vince happily picked up from where he’d left off.

“Since you lead her on, fucked her & then blew her off?” He snapped arrogantly, instantly causing my jaw to tense.

“Don’t fucking start with me, Vinny. I’m not in the mood.”

“Oh, you mean you don't wanna hear about what a dick you were? What a surprise.” The sarcasm thick in his voice.

I slammed my hand down on the recording table & stood up sharply. “The fuck is your problem, man?” I snarled, his attitude & the mounting stress from the album mixing together to create a dangerous cocktail of anger & belligerence.

“My problem?” He questioned, standing up to meet my stare. “My problem is you Sixx. Beths a good fucking girl, what you did was real messed up, I should fucking floor you again for how you treated her. You owe the chick an apology at the goddamn least.” He spat, his anger in Beths defence honourable, but fucking irritating.

I chuckled arrogantly at his misplaced valiance. “Give it up the knight in shining armour act Vinny, I didn’t see you rushing to commit to her when she was getting your dick wet.”

I saw the danger flash in his eyes as he took a warning step towards me. “I didn’t fuck her & leave either.” He hissed, the venom in his voice palpable.

“Aw, did I upset your girlfriend?” I joked patronisingly, very aware that I was pushing it too far, but yet I couldn’t help myself, Vince acting all high & mighty was really starting to piss me off.

Vinces eyes narrowed sharply & I saw his hands ball into fists at his side. “Like I said, she’s a good girl. She didn’t deserve that.” He said through his teeth, the strain to keep calm evident in his voice.

I smirked at him amused, looking him up & down. “Whatcha gonna do Vince? Hit me again? Defend her honour? She’s a chick dude & a stuck up one at that. And she ditched your ass if you remember, you should be thanking me.” I laughed, shrugging.

“You know what Sixx, you’re an asshole. You know as well as I do that Beth isn’t another fucking groupie to this band. Nah, I didn’t wanna date her, but I like her- We all like her.” He corrected himself quickly.

“Vinny’s right man, I’m not taking sides, but Beths cool & I kinda do like having her around!” Tommy piped up, nodding.

“Fuck off T-Bone, you only want her around because you know as soon as she goes, so does your uptight piece of ass.” I shot at him, my frustration with the pair of them growing at a dangerous rate.

“Dude c’mon, there’s no need..”

I cut Tommy off viciously. “What the fuck has happened to this band?!” I shouted, shoving Vince out of my face. “Since when do we give this much of a fuck about chicks?! Look at where we are?!” I gestured around the recording studio. Mick had stopped playing & had casually lit a cigarette as he watched us bickering through the sound-proof glass. “This is what’s important. Now I’m going for a fucking smoke, this conversation is done & when I come back in we’re gonna record a fucking album, got it?!”

I barged out of the studio, flicked open my lighter & sparked up my cigarette, leaning back against the wall as I took in a shaky drag, my anger still surface level. I exhaled & closed my eyes, feeling the May sun warm my face & start to melt my mood away.

What was everyone’s fuckin’ obsession with this girl?!

Yeah she was cool, but she’s still a chick. And chicks = trouble.

I let my mind wander back to the look she gave me as she lay beneath me, my hand around her throat as she came undone & smirked to myself as I lifted the cigarette back to my smug lips. She was so worth the chase.

But Christ, I’m supposed to feel bad because I don’t want all that cutesy shit afterwards? No. Beth knew me, we’d had enough arguments about the kinda guy I am, she did this to herself. Not my fault that she thought she meant anything more to me than any one of those other girls. She was a fuck. A good fuck. But a fuck nonetheless.

I took another drag as the image of Beth sat in her bed with that stung look on her face snuck its way involuntarily into my mind. I could see those hurt tears & hear her bitter words ordering me to leave. I couldn’t help the pang of guilt in my stomach that accompanied the image.

She’s a fuckin’ chick, Nikki. Chicks = trouble, I recited to myself, rubbing my face roughly with my hands, almost in hope that I could scrub away the memory of her pained face. Get over it man, it’s done.

I sharply exhaled the last of my smoke before throwing it aggressively to the floor, somehow more frustrated than I was before.

Time to go record a fuckin’ album.

*Later*

*Beths POV*

I smoothed out the material of the tiny black dress I was wearing as I pouted my lips at my reflection in the mirror, appreciating the sight of myself all dolled up & ready to forget all about Nikki fucking Sixx.

I flashed an all too familiar looking smirk at myself before I spun around of my sky high heels & strutted out of the ladies bathroom & back over to Sophia who was waiting at the bar, two drinks in hand. She winked at me as I got closer, holding out one of the glasses for me to take.

“Girl, you look unreal! If we weren’t here trying to pull for you, I’d take you home right now,” she laughed, nudging me & winking again.

I let out a laugh as I took a swipe at her arm, “I am not here trying to pull!” I insisted, not even managing to fool myself. It’d been a little over a week since I went from the all time high of fucking Nikki to the crashing low of realising I meant nothing to him in a matter of minutes & I’d laid around feeling sorry for myself ever since. Well, not tonight. I was gonna find a guy & I was gonna remind myself what a goddamn catch I am.

“Oh Beth, there’s a reason you’re wearing that dress tonight & girl, it ain’t for the coverage,” she giggled as I took another playful swipe. “Hey, there’s no judgements here! I’d want a good lay after the emotional rollercoaster that has been Nikki Sixx!”

I raised my eyebrows at her as she quickly mimed locking her lips. “Sorry, sorry, we don’t mention that name, my bad.”

I shook my head. “It’s fine, I’m over it,” I lied. “But, if a cute guy wants to buy me a drink & maybe show me a good time, I’m not gonna say no.” I shrugged as we both burst into a fit of giggles, before I took a long sip of the very strong cocktail.

“Well that sounds like my queue.” Came a smooth voice from behind me. I turned to face the handsome stranger who was stood leaning casually against the bar, eyebrow cocked as his eyes scanned up & down my body, drinking in the sight of me. “You have excellent timing.” I blushed, appreciating his good looks right back. He was classically good looking, with blonde hair & a chiselled jaw, dressed smart in a shirt that hugged his toned physique & muscular arms just enough to spark a little intrigue as to what lay underneath. He was the exact opposite to Nikki in every physical way. Where Nikki was unruly & unkept, this guy was clean shaven & well groomed. He wore no leather or studs & his smile was friendly & genuine, not smug & he wasn’t dripping in arrogance.

“I’m Daniel.” He introduced himself, holding out a hand for me to shake. I looked into his electric blue eyes & blushed once again.

“Beth, it’s nice to meet you.” I replied as smoothly as I could.

“& I’m Sophia, but I guess no-one asked,” she piped up mockingly, winking at me. “Now Dan, unless you’ve got a cute, single friend for me, I’m gonna get outta your way & go for a dance.” Soph smirked, grabbing her drinking & flouncing off towards the dance floor, blowing us a kiss as she did.

We both let out a laugh. “She seems great,” Daniel said as I nodded, taking a sip of my drink. “She mentioned something about an emotion rollercoaster though? I hope I’m not stepping on anyone’s toes?” He queried.

I swallowed my drink before letting out a little laugh. “Not at all, there are no toes to be stepping on, don’t worry.”

“Well good, I’m glad. I’m surprised though, a gorgeous girl like you doesn’t have a man. You’re sure there’s no-one, because you seem way too good to be true!” He flirted, as I laughed

“Oh you’re smooth.” I teased, “but no, there’s absolutely no-one.” I answered, pushing any & all thoughts & feelings I might have towards Nikki Sixx out of my mind.

*Little later*

“Wow, so you’re a doctor?” I asked, impressed.

Daniel laughed, shaking his head. “I wish! I’m a med student currently, but that’s the hope one day.”

“What made you wanna get into medicine then?”

He paused for a second, his warm smile faltering for a brief moment & I sensed his hesitation to answer. “I, um, lost my dad when I was younger. Spent a lot of time in hospitals with him when he got sick. I remember watching all these doctors around me taking care of people, helping, curing.. They seemed like superheroes to me back then. After we lost my dad, I knew I wanted to help people, be one of those people that kids could look up to in the same way I did, yanno?”

I nodded, smiling at his compassion & genuineness.

“Sorry, bit heavy for a first meet, I know.” He laughed awkwardly.

“Not at all!” I replied, “I asked the question, you just answered it honestly, I appreciate that.”

As Daniel carried on talking about his studies, I couldn’t help but admire him. THIS was the kinda guy I was supposed to end up with. Smart, hot as hell, a brilliant career ahead of him, goals, aspirations.. He was exactly the kinda man I could take home to my father. Daniel was everything I should want & he was actually interested in me.

And yet, I still felt that unwanted & yet infuriatingly all-to-familiar flame ignite the second I heard his voice drift over from the bar.

“Jack & coke please darlin’.”

Nikkis voice hit me like a slap in the face & rush desire all at once & I immediately froze, my body unsure how to react to my contrasting emotions.

“Are you ok?” Daniel asked, reaching out & touching my arm, concern written across his face. I flinched as his touch, still lost somewhere in Nikkis voice, & snatched my arm away instinctively.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“ Started Daniel, his concern look now laced with panic.

“N-no, its fine honestly, its not you, its just..” I drifted off, briefly glancing behind me, trying to pin a location on the voice. My eyes caught sight of the four of them standing at the bar, waiting on their drinks. Nikki was dressed in his usual leather trousers, torn at the knees, & combat boots & a torn up shirt. His hair almost appeared messier than usual & he had a cigarette hanging from his lips. He couldn’t have been more different from the sharp, handsome man sat opposite me.

Daniel followed my line of sight & spotted the literal motley crew. Nikki was already hitting on the bar maid, distracting her whilst Tommy & Vince reached over & stole a bottle from behind the bar; all whilst Mick stood by, watching disapprovingly & swigging from his trademark flask.

“You know them?” Daniel asked hesitantly.

“Nope.” I replied bluntly, snapping back to reality & turning back to him. “I fancy getting out of here though, you wanna head back to mine, continue the drinking there?”

Daniel looked a little taken a back at the upfront offer as I stood up & downed the last of my drink, but I was fairly certain he wouldn’t refuse. I didn’t care either way at this point, I just needed out of here.

“Um sure-“

“Great, I’ll go find Sophia..”

“She’s over there, talking to those guys you apparently don’t know.” Dan stated, his tone now flat & a little judgemental as he raised an eyebrow at me.

“Look, Daniel, I don’t wanna get into it, but its better we just leave.” I said, hoping to avoid any questions, but his face was growing more unimpressed by the second. “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you Dan, ok? But I can’t be here right now, so I gotta go. I’d, um, I’d like you to join me.. If you want to, of course. I mean, you don’t have to..” I mumbled, suddenly very aware & embarrassed by how he must be viewing me in that moment.

I saw his eyes narrow at my discomfort &, I’m assuming against his better judgement, he nodded & stood up to join me. “I’m not sure what’s happening here, but I’ve enjoyed getting to know you too & maybe you could fill me in on why you’re running away over that drink at yours?” He asked, a little suspicious but friendly. I nodded, giving him a small smile.

We started towards the exit when I felt a pair of hands snake around my waist & lift me excitedly into the air. I squealed in shock & suprise as Tommy span me around before placing me back on my feet.

“Beth! I cant believe you guys are here, what’re the chances? Soph said you came here to avoid us & we came here because Sixx wanted to avoid you! How fuckin’ funny is that?” He said, roaring with laughter, his hand resting on his stomach as he struggled to regain control on his amusement.

“Tommy.” I said sternly, shooting him a look that told him to shut the hell up. He quickly stood up straight, coughing a little to hide his laughter, before glancing over towards Daniel.

“Hey, who’s this? I’m Tommy dude, how ya doing?” He said, offering out his hand enthusiastically.

“Daniel, I’m good man, how’re you?” He answered, accepting the handshake hesitantly.

“I’m good? Hey, you wanna come meet the rest of the guys?” Tommy offered enthusiastically, without a second thought as to why that might not be such a good idea.

“Actually T-Bone, we’re just heading out.” I replied sharply, giving him another warning look.

“Ok, ok,” he laughed, holding his hands up in defeat as he got the hint. “It was nice to meet you man!” Tommy smiled at Dan, who nodded awkwardly back to him before T-Bone practically bounced back over to the bar.

“Don’t know them huh?” Daniel asked, his voice oozing with sarcasm suddenly, making me cringe.

“I’m sorry, they’re just.. A lot, ok?” I tried to explain, frustrated, mainly with myself.

“What’s the deal with this one?” Asked Dan, gesturing towards Nikki, who was leaning against the bar, sipping on his Jack & coke, his eyes fixed coldly on he two of us.

“That’s the, um.. Emotional rollercoaster.” I answered sheepishly, coughing to distract from my amounting discomfort, whilst simultaneously avoiding the eyes of both Nikki & Dan.

“Right.. Well, your rollercoaster is on his way over here.”

Fuck.

I glanced up to see Nikki, in all his arrogance, strolling towards us, his usual smirk fixed in place.

“I’m so sorry for whatever he says.” I quickly whispered to Dan, before Nikki came to a stop in front of us. I watched his eyes scan up & down Daniel, obvious sizing him up without an ounce of subtlety, before he turned his attention to me.

“Leaving without introducing us, Lizzy?” He drawled, the pretension thick in his voice.

“Yes Nikki, I am. So if you’d like to move-“

He cut me off, his focus back on Daniel. “I’m Nikki Sixx,” he stated, without the courtesy of a handshake.

“Daniel,” Dan replied, flatly, seemingly glad there was no extended hand to shake.

“And how do you know the lovely Lizzy here, Dan?” Nikki asked, his smirk never once faltering.

“We just met tonight, but we’re justing heading back to hers, if you don’t mind.” Dan replied simply, taking my hand.

“Oh but you see, I do mind.” Nikki stated bluntly, his smile as wide as it was dark as he side stepped back in front of Dan who had tried to manoeuvre round him. “Lizzy here is what we like to call a groupie & we,” he gestured towards the rest of the band behind him, “don’t particularly like sharing.”

“Oh fuck you, Sixx.” I scoffed, my face growing hot with a mix of anger & embarrassment. I turned to look at Dan, cringing at his raised eyebrow & gave him an apologetic look. “Don’t listen to him, he’s just being an asshole, I’m not a groupie.”

“Really?!” Nikki replied, dragging out the word dramatically as his shit eating grin somehow managed to grow wider. “Because I remember fucking you about a week ago & my boy Vince over there,” he pointed to at the very pissed off looking lead singer, “swears he remembers fucking you not long before that? Or are with both mistaken? I mean, there are a lot of you girls, you do all kinda look the same.. Feel the same too.” He chuckled darkly, shooting me a sly look. I glared at him with an expression so deadly that dared him to carry on. He rose to the challenge. “I tell you what though buddy,” Nikki continued, leaning into Dan so he was speaking into his ear, but just loud enough for me to catch what he was saying, “if you’re heading back to hers you’re in for a treat. She’s got the mouth of a motherfuckin’ Angel.” He finished, glancing over at me & winking. I was prepared to fly at him in a blind rage, fists balled, ready to wipe that smug smile off of his face permanently, when Dan spoke up, in a voice so peaceful & gentle, that it made his words seem somehow harsher.

“You are an arrogant piece of shit. I’ve been sat with this girl for the last hour & I spend a minute in your presence & it’s immediately clear to me that she’s way too good for you. But I’m sure she’ll realise that in her own time.” Daniel turned back to me, his expression stoney & irritated, but I could swear there was a hint of sympathy in his eyes. “If you ever get off of this rollercoaster doll, you know where you can find me.” He said, letting go of my hand as he stepped around the unmoving Nikki.

“Daniel, wait..” I caught him by the arm & quickly stepped in his path, stopping him.

“Beth, you seem like a great girl & I don’t think I’ve ever hit it off so quickly with someone like I have with you. But it’s obvious you have something with that guy & I’m not really interested in competing with him for your attention.”

I nodded slowly, knowing his words were fair. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok. And I mean it, if you decide to get off the rollercoaster.. I can probably offer you a slightly calmer ride. A carousel maybe?” Dan winked, laughing as I let out a light giggle. His blue eyes focused on mine, sending a surge of electricity through my body that momentarily extinguished the flame that Nikki somehow always managed to light. I lifted my lips & placed them softly on Daniels for the briefest second, before pulling away.

“Thank you.” I whispered.

His eyes lingered on my lips for a second, silently asking for more, before he came back to reality & gave me a genuine smile. “It was nice to meet you Beth. I do hope I get to see you again”, he nodded, before kissing my cheek & heading for the door.

I stood still for a second, gathering my thoughts & regaining my composure, before walking towards the bar where the Crüe & Sophia were stood, trying to act as if they hadn’t been watching.

I had barely made it over to them before Nikki was straight in there with his sly comments, immediately trying to get under my skin.

“Aw was Prince Charming not happy to hear the Princess was actually a band slu-“

Nikki didn’t get the chance to finish his insult. He was silenced by the remainder of my drink soaking him as I threw it at him furiously, dousing his arrogance with my cocktail.

“That is for thinking you have any right to chase away a good guy just because your petty, selfish ass is jealous.” I spat. “And this..”

The loud crack of my hand slapping him sharply across the face echoed around the bar, followed by the whooping of Vince & Tommy. I even caught a glimpse of Mick smirking.

Nikki recoiled, his hand flying to his crimson cheek, shock & fury on his face. But his rage couldn’t match mine. I grabbed his face roughly, my hand cupping his chin & cheeks, forcing him to meet my wrathful glare.

“That is for fucking me & leaving me like I was one of your whores.” I seethed, my voice quiet & dangerous.

Nikkis face went from white hot anger to an ice cold stare in an instant as he straightened up, pushing me off of him as he did. He took a step towards me, but I didn’t move an inch. I was way too fucking angry to back down.

“Listen Princess, you’re fucking lucky I’m not a bad guy-“ he began, but my sharp laugh rang loud, cutting him off.

“Not a bad guy?! Nikki, are you really that delusional?! You’ve done nothing but purposely fuck with my head from the day I met you. You’ve insulted me, dragged me down to your level, used me, screwed my chances with two different guys & for what?!” I screamed, tears threatening to form. “No, you know what?! You're fucking lucky Sixx, I’m not gonna do this here. I’m done. I don’t want anything to do with you.”

I span around, ready to make my dramatic exit, when I came face to face with a very happy looking band manager, Doc. He clearly couldn’t care less about our drama as he marched over to us like nothing was happening.

“Bartender, a round of shots for these boys & their girlfriends. We need to celebrate;”

“The fuck are you talking about Doc?” Snapped Nikki, his eyes still fixed on me.

“Boys, you’re in!" He announced, unable to hide his obvious pleased-with-himself smirk "I've just been told that Mötley Crüe have been offered a last minute slot to play alongside the likes of Judas Priest, Scorpions, Van Halen & The Prince of fucking Darkness, Ozzy fucking Osbourne at the US Festival on Memorial Day weekend!” Doc exclaimed, laughing as the band began shouting & whooping, looking disbelieved & excited as hell. Choruses of “are you serious?!” & “you’re fucking kidding!” we’re passed between them as Doc reassured them that they were on their way up.

In that moment, watching these guys I’d grown to love over the last couple of years get the break they worked so hard for, I couldn’t be mad. I watched as Tommy jumped on Nikkis back, Vince hugged Doc & Mick silently smirked to himself. They deserved this.

Doc handed me & Sophia a shot as we congratulated them all, although I couldn’t quite bring myself to share my enthusiasm with Nikki. But he was too busy to notice as he held up his shot glass in a toast.

“To us! We’ve got an old man, a kid drummer, a cover band singer & a fucking run away. Win it all or loose it all, we’re Mötley fucking Crue!” He yelled, his excitement & energy almost infectious, as much as I wanted to hate him.

“To you guys!” Sophia cheered, laughing as we all downed our shots.

“Let’s get another round in, we’re celebrating! And pour one for yourself gorgeous.” Vince called to the barmaid who was more than happy to oblige, blushing as he winked at her, turning on the Vince Neil charm that would assure she’d be going home with him at the end of the night. I remember that well, I chuckled to myself.

The atmosphere of the night had changed so dramatically from what it was 10 minutes previously, everyone’s anger & awkwardness forgotten in the wake of such elating news. I looked around all the happy faces; Vince flirting with the bar maid, Tommy all over a giggling Sophia, Mick & Doc eagerly discussing set lists & felt an overwhelming sense of misplacement. After all that had happened, I just couldn’t bring myself to match their enthusiasm, not tonight.

I noticed Nikki's gaze focused on me, his face betraying his now obvious guilt as he watched me stand alone, uncomfortable & upset. His sudden success had clearly snapped him out of his petty, jealous mood.

Uninterested in an apology from him, I let my eyes continue to scan the room, looking anywhere but at him, when Sophia glanced over, catching my eye & gestured for me to join in. I forced my best smile as I walked over to her & Tommy.

“Take another shot Reynolds!” Tommy shouted, pushing a shot glass of mysterious liquid at me. I laughed politely as I shook my head.

“Thanks, but no thanks T-Bone. I think I’m actually gonna shoot yanno, I’m getting pretty tired.” I lied.

“Beth, don’t leave, please?” Tommy pleaded, his face suddenly serious, moving away from Soph & towards me.

“T-Bone, it’s not a big deal honestly, you guys enjoy your celebrations!”

“Just talk to him. I know the fucker doesn’t deserve it, Beth, I know. But he cares for you more than you think, I promise. We all do.” He added, placing his hand in mine & giving it a squeeze as he flashed me a goofy half smile.

I gave him a half smile & squeezed his hand back. “I know Tommy & I love you guys, I really do. But I can’t be around him, its.. it’s too hard.” I muttered back, so quietly it was almost inaudible above the music playing in the bar. But Tommy caught it.

“You care for him too, don’t you?” He asked, just as quietly.

I nodded, my eyes filling with tears. “God knows why T-Bone, he’s made it clear he doesn’t care about me. I’m just another girl he fucked.” I sniffed, furiously wiping away my tears before anyone noticed.

“Beth, Sixx is a dick. I’ve watched him fuck over chick after chick who was convinced they’d tame him & he tosses them without a second thought. But not you. I don’t know what the fuck goes on in Nikkis head, but that fucker cares about you. So please, don’t ditch us all just because you think he doesn’t.”

“I’m sorry Tom, I know he’s your friend & you wanna see the best in him, but you’re wrong. Nikki Sixx only cares about himself.” I replied, straightening my posture & regaining my composure. I pulled Tommy into a tight hug & congratulated him again. “I’ll see ya around T-Bone, I’m sure.” I winked, gesturing towards Sophia.

He laughed, “I’ll look after her.”

I blew him a kiss before heading towards the door, not wanting to disturb anyone else’s night with my drama.

“Lizzy, wait up.” I heard Nikkis voice call. I closed my eyes briefly, choosing whether to stop or keep going. I chose the latter & walked swiftly out of the door, pretending I hadn’t heard.

But my ignorance was in vain & he was right behind me, following suit out of the bar.

“Nikki please, just go back-“

My sentence was cut short by his lips crashing onto mine. I froze, feeling anger, lust & passion sweep through my body as my brain tried to compute the correct emotional response. I pushed him away sharply, deciding anger overwhelmed any feelings I had towards him.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?! Are you asking for another slap?!”

“Lizzy, I’m sorry ok?” He blurted out, clearly uncomfortable with apologies.

“You’re sorry?! Oh, well that makes everything ok then.” I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes at him.

“I know ok, I fucked up. I’ve been a dick to you & I’m sorry. I just, I don’t know how to do this shit.” He mumbled, running his hands through his tangled hair.

“Do what, Sixx?” My frustration mounting with his half-assed apology.

“I don’t fucking do.. This.” He gestured between the two of us, struggling to find his words.

I sighed with exasperation. “What is this Nikki? Is this an apology or what, because honestly there isn’t much you can say right now, just let me go home.” I finished, turning to leave, but he caught hold of my hand, pulling me into him. He placed his hand gently under my chin, bringing my face up to his.

“I don’t do this, ok? I don’t do feelings or relationships, fuck, I won’t even sleep with a girl twice.” He laughed, before clearing his throat when he saw my unamused expression. “Lizzy, I am sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I got pissed as hell when I saw you with that fucking pretty boy, I snapped.. I don't know, I guess I was kinda jealous.. I do care about you.”

I scoffed. “You’ve got a funny way of showing it.”

“I do, Lizzy. But listening to you telling me why I’m a bad guy, all the shit I’ve done to you, you’re right. And I’m sorry. Just, please don’t leave. Come celebrate with us, we all want you here. I want you here.. You’ve been with us from the start, it wouldn’t feel the same without you. You mean a lot to me... Um, to us. You mean a lot to us.” He corrected.

I looked into his green eyes & saw the sincerity, noted the lack of arrogance in his voice & the absence of his usual smug smile. I so badly wanted to give into him. I wanted to taste his kiss again, melt against him like I always do. I wanted to take his hand & go back inside, enjoy the night with the band, drink, have fun & fall into bed with him when the night was over.

But I’d fell for Nikkis sweeter side before, I knew how the night would end. He’d leave afterwards & I’d be hurt all over again. And I wasn’t gonna let that happen.

“No Nikki, I’m sorry.”

[injusticeff]

Chapter Two

Xae

Driving down this long ass dark road, I yawned and looked over at the time. I was driving hella slow so I was probably gonna make it home in more like an hour but a nigga was cruising right now and it kind of felt good.

I got to think and have some alone time. Don’t get me wrong, I love having my beautiful ass girl with me but sometimes it’s good to be alone.

I was about to pull out a blunt but then I remembered what my momma said about giving these pigs a reason to lock me up and decided against it. I’m working on some major shit right now and I can’t let anything or anyone mess that up for me.

Even though I was using it as my GPS, I decided to shut off my phone and just drive for a little bit. I feel like life is at its peak for me right about now. 

I got a girl that loves me and could make my dick stand just by speaking in her native tongue, a beautiful mom that would joan my ass out but is always there when I need her, and I’m this close to opening my own tattoo shop. A nigga was living. And I can’t complain at all.

I wish my pops was here to see it. We used to be so close that we were almost inseparable. After the death of his mom, my grandmother, he was hospitalized. I guess the grief from that was too much on him and his mental stability.

It makes me wonder if I’m gonna be the same way. I’m hoping and praying that the trait isn’t passed down but sometimes we have nothing to do but think and thinking could be the worst possible thing for some people.

Shit. This is why I needed that blunt.

Shaking my head to clear those thoughts out of my head, I reached over to the stereo to turn on some music. I don’t know what station Bree had this shit on, she was forever changing my stuff around like this was her car.

Knockin’ Da Boots began to play loudly through my speakers causing me to chuckle, deciding to leave it on because this one was a classic.

Now I know what her freaky ass be listening to when a nigga not around. All she had to do was say the word.

“Gimme some good love. SOMEBODY ROCKIN KNOCKIN’ THE BOOTS!” I playfully sang along to the song as I bobbed my head simultaneously.

I’m not gonna lie, I done did some nasty kinky stuff to this song and it’s just bringing back all them old memories. Ya boy was slick starting to get horny just thinking about it.

“If I woke Bree up with some dick, would she be mad?” I thought to myself with furrowed eyebrows.

“Of course not nigga, she love yo shit. Go get some of that good love and wreck her shit ever so gracefully.” Cheesing, I nodded my head as I talked myself into it by answering my own question. The little devil on my shoulder wildin tonight.

Chuckling to myself, I shook my head. I’m glad no one was in here now that I think about it. They probably would have thought I was crazy the way I be laughing at myself.

To be honest, I could probably keep myself some good company if I wanted to but I’m gregarious so I would miss interacting with people too much.

I’ve always been like that though, even in school. Most people were shy while I was always the first one to talk. I knew just about everybody in middle and high school and it’s cool because being a tattoo artist, I do nothing but interact with people all day.

That’s not why I started doing tattoos though, I’ve always liked to draw. Anything that was on my mind, I drew it. I have a whole room set up filled with drawings from my sketchbooks and art pieces plastered on the walls. I probably have every color marker and paint that you could possibly think of. And that’s just in my studio. I still have some supplies in my bedroom for when I’m too lazy to get up and walk downstairs which happens more often then you would think.

Singing along to the last part of the song, I began to do the same with the next one that started to play. They was just rolling out with the hits tonight.

My feet immediately stomped on the breaks once I saw a female with a petite frame limping down the street alone with her head down.

Pulling up closer to her, I soon noticed that she was covered in scrapes and blood was all over her clothes. Her head stayed down although she heard me slowly drive beside her.

“Yo, it might be stupid to ask this but are you ok? You need a ride to the hospital or something?” I asked as I rolled the window down.

She kept her head down the entire time, not bothering to look at who it was that was talking to her. “No, I’m fine. Thank you.” Her voice sounded weak and brittle. A heavy sigh escaped from my lips as I continued to drive at the speed she was walking. Now that I saw her out here, I didn’t have it in me to just leave her. If she doesn’t hop in this car we’re going to be out here all night. Best believe that.

“Look ma, it’s freezing and you’re leaving a trail of blood behind you. Please just lemme give you a ride somewhere safe.” Once I said that, she quickly snapped her neck behind her to see if she had actually been leaving a trail and began to panic frantically when she realized that her blood was following her down the street.

She started to walk faster, wincing in pain every now and then because she was trying to hide her obvious limp.

“I said I’m fine. Thank you.” She repeated once again causing me to smack my lips and pulling in front of her, leaving her no choice but to stop walking.

“I can’t leave you out here like this miss. If you keep bleeding like that and don’t get help or see a doctor--”

She raised her head to finally lock eyes with me with anger now laced in her voice. “And what the fuck does it matter to you, huh? I said I was fine now leave me alone.”

Rubbing my eyes, I had to make sure I was seeing who I actually thought I was seeing. Even through all the marks and bruises on her, her facial features stood out with ease. She hasn’t changed a bit.

“Simone??”

Furrowing her eyebrows, she stepped closer to the car slowly to get a good look at my face. “We went to high school together--”

“I know who you are.” She spat before letting out a low sigh and running her hands over her face. “If I let you give me a ride, will you stop bothering me after this?”

I thought over it for a while, nodding in response but that was most likely a lie. Call me nosey but I wanted to know what happened and why she was out here all by herself so late at night.

Walking around to the passenger side, she hopped in the car and closed the door before sitting back up.

“Damn, I got blood all over your seats now. I’m so sorry, I’ll clean it.”

“Don’t worry about it.” I smiled at her.

This girl right here is the whole reason I was able to graduate high school. Honestly, I didn’t get shit my precal teacher taught me. She was basically my teacher all year so if it wasn’t for her, I don’t know where I’d be. She helped me make my mom proud and I never knew how to repay her for it especially since we didn’t really keep in touch at all once I graduated.

She was hella smart, skipped a couple grades and everything. My ego was kind of hurt because I was getting tutored by someone who was younger than me but she was cool about it and she never rubbed it in my face or told anyone about it. The only people that knew were her, my teacher and I.

Glancing over at her, I frowned once I got a look at all of her injuries up close and cleared my throat. “If you don’t mind me asking... what happened?” The question caused her to glare at me for a quick second before staring back at the road.

“That’s none of your business Xavier.”

“You can call me Xae.”

“I’d rather not.” She retorted without breaking her stare down with the black road in front of us. 

I couldn’t tell if she was thinking about something or just trying her best not to make eye contact with me but either way it had me wondering what the fuck happened and how an intelligent girl like her ended up like this. She used to have her whole life planned out, she would tell it to me like I was her big brother.

I didn’t really know what to say after that so I just told her what I’ve been meaning to for all these years. “Well look, I really appreciate you helping me pass precal back in high school. A nigga probably woulda failed if it weren’t for you--”

“Look I only did it because the teacher asked me to so don’t feel special.” She shut that down real quick.

Reaching for the stereo, she turned the music all the way up before sitting back. I’m guessing she wasn’t really in the talking mood but she gonna have to say something cause I don’t know where the hell I’m going.

I turned down the radio and looked over at her who was already staring at me. “Where did you want me to take you?”

Slowly looking down again, she began to anxiously fidget with her fingers and bite at the corners of her lips.

“I don’t wanna fuck up and pass any exits on the highway, that’s why I’m asking.” I added to try to make her feel at least a little more comfortable with telling me where she wanted to go.

“I, uh... I don’t have...” She sighed heavily, I could tell she was trying to fight back tears just by her breathing pattern alone. “I don’t have anywhere to go. That’s why I didn’t want a ride. I was kinda hoping I would just stumble across a motel or something.”

I looked at her and shook my head. “I’m glad I did pick you up then cause all the hotels are miles from here lil mama. You would have been walking for hours.”

“Yeah... thanks.” She mumbled out the last part so low that I could barely hear it but a small smile formed on my face anyway. That was the first nice thing she’s said to me since she’s been in my presence.

“No problem Sim, I--”

“DON’T call me that.” She immediately interrupted my sentence causing my head to snap in her direction. She looked traumatized.

Getting silent, I chewed at the inside of my cheeks wondering what to say next. It seemed like everything I said offended or triggered her in some way and the last thing I wanted to do was stress her out more than she already is.

I cleared my throat. “You can stay at my place for tonight and find out where you’re headed in the morning. My couch is the type that folds out into a bed.” Offering the best thing I could think of, I hoped she wouldn’t cuss me out for it. I couldn’t read her the way I usually did people so it kind of threw me off.

She glared at me for a few seconds before looking back down at her hands. “What am I gonna wear?”

“Uh, we could stop by the store and get you some pj’s. I’ll wash your clothes in the morning.” 

Honestly, I hated seeing her this way. It was a huge turn around from how she used to be so I wanted to help as much as I could hopefully without overstepping any boundaries she might have.

“One night.” She uttered sternly.

“One night.” I repeated with a nod, speeding off in the direction of my crib.

Bree

Rubbing my eyes once they fluttered open, I yawned and did my morning stretch before pulling back the covers to get out of bed.

It wasn't unusual for Xae to have woken up before me. He's the only person I know that can classify as both a morning and night person. I was rarely ever up before he was.

Going into the bathroom, I began to do my morning hygiene routine which consisted of brushing my teeth and washing my face. I slept in Xae's t-shirt last night so I didn't bother to change what I was wearing. I love his scent way too much to part with it just yet, I'll have to wait until I take a shower.

I could already smell breakfast being made from the kitchen causing a warm smile to form on my face. I loved when he made breakfast. It was always so good, he just didn’t do it often so I was wondering what’s the occasion.

Once I was through fixing myself up from my previous slumber, I made my way out of the bedroom and towards the kitchen as the sweet aroma got stronger with each step.

“Mm, it smells good. I hope you’re making my favorite.” I said cheerfully once I caught site of Xae, pecking him on his lips as he pulled me into an embrace.

Hearing someone’s throat clear that was neither mine nor Xae’s, I turned in the direction that the sound came from revealing a woman on the couch who was now staring at the both of us.

She had swelling and bruises on parts of her face but you could still tell she was beautiful. I just wanted to know what the hell was going on.

Looking from her then over to Xae with an unwillingly confused expression on my face, he smiled at me nervously while scratching the back of his head.

“Bree, this is Simone. She’s an old friend from high school. Simone, this is my girlfriend Bree.”

The girl then greeted me with a small smile. I could tell she was just as confused as I was, she probably didn’t even know I was here. Waving back at her with a grin, I quickly pulled Xae into the hallway.

“I’m sorry for not asking you first but she was walking down the street alone covered in blood and bruises at midnight. I couldn’t just leave her there.” He apologized without even letting me get my first word out.

Remembering the bruising on her face, I sighed and cupped his face with my hand.

“It’s ok babe, I believe you. I’m not mad.” I said with a smile before standing on my tippy toes and planting a light kiss on his lips. “You’re such a good person.”

He instantly smiled back at me with relief, leaning down to kiss my lips again before embracing me then pulling away.

“You could have at least told me though.” I playfully scolded followed by mushing him.

“You were already sleep by the time we got here. I didn’t wanna wake you up then be all like hey, my friend from high school sleeping over here tonight, k nighty night.” He chuckled out causing me to giggle along with him.

I rolled my eyes. “Whatever. What are you cooking?”

“French toast, eggs and bacon that you finna make me burn.” He immediately started to jog to the kitchen in hopes that he could save the bacon.

I followed soon after and leaned against the wall. “So what’s the damage captain?”

“You got lucky. The edges are just crisp.” He replied causing me to let out another light giggle before beginning to set up the table.

I laid out three plates and filled three glasses with orange juice, setting them all down neatly on the table.

“Hey Simone, how many pieces of bacon do you want? Three or four?” Xae called out to her as he filled mine and his both with four.

“Three is fine.” She said in response but knowing Xae, he was gonna give her four anyway. He always says that girls be trying to eat a little bit of food in front of people so they don’t seem greedy but then wanna pick food off of their nigga’s plate.

I’m not even gonna lie, I’ve done it a few times on dates and at his mom’s house so now he always give me as much food as he eats. I’m surprised I can finish meals sometimes because this nigga is a bottomless pit so he always piles our plate.

Once everything was done and ready, he called Simone over to the table and we all prayed over our food before starting to dig in.

I didn’t mean to watch her as she ate but when there’s a new person in your home, you kinda just watch them without realizing it. She didn’t notice me though, at least I was hoping she wouldn’t. She was eating like she hadn’t ate in weeks, she might just finish her food before Xae does and let me tell you, that was definitely an accomplishment.

Feeling something kick my leg, I snapped my head in Xae’s direction who was giving me a ‘stop staring’ expression causing me to respond with an apologetic look before continuing to eat my food.

***

“How long is she gonna be here?” I asked as I began to strip myself out of his t-shirt and my undergarments before starting up the shower.

“I told her it didn’t matter to me but she said only one night. She doesn’t have nowhere else to go though so I don’t know how that’s gonna work.”

“Oh ok...” I replied, not really knowing what else to say about the situation. I didn’t feel like it was my place to speak on it so I wasn’t going to. “You gonna come shower with me?” Tugging at the waistband of his pants, I pressed my body against his before planting a kiss on his collarbone.

He bit down on his bottom lip, gripping my bare ass in his hands. “As much as I would love to, I don’t wanna leave her out there for too long by herself since it’s a new place for her. Plus these blunts not gonna roll themselves.”

He held the bag of weed and cigarillo pack up for me to see causing me to give him a small pout.

“Cute ass. Ima be here when you get out, don’t worry. I’ll make it up to you later.” He winked at me before placing another peck on my lips then making his way back into the room.

Damn, this sucks. I can’t even get no dick now.

Simone

For some reason, I trusted him.

Which was weird because my whole life has been proof that you can’t trust anyone. Not even yourself.

I needed to keep my distance from him. If Dominick finds out I even got a ride from another nigga, much less stay at his house for a night, I’d be a dead woman walking.

Plus he seems like a nice guy. He doesn’t need to get caught in the middle of my bullshit ass life. It’s not his fault I got knocked up at eighteen. It’s not his fault I stayed with a nigga that did nothing but hurt me physically, mentally and emotionally.

It’s nobody elses fault but mine.

I knew I should have left him the first time he proved himself not to be shit. It was clear as day that he never gave a fuck about me.

***Flashback***

“Simone Alessia Wyatt. Summa cum laude.”

A big smile immediately formed on my face as my name was called. I stood up and briefly adjusted myself before walking in the direction of the stage. My name was one of the last to call so you could only imagine how ready I’ve been this entire time.

I heard cheers from friends and family that could be recognized from miles away which only caused my grin to widen. The whole time in my head, I was telling myself “don’t trip,” “don’t fall,” “don’t fart because someone else is gonna have to walk behind you in the next 30 seconds.”

Shaking the hand of my high school principal as she handed me my diploma, I then smiled at the camera that flashed in front of us to capture this very moment. I was happy to know that I graduated with a 4.0 grade average. There were only three people in my entire class that did, including myself. I worked hard for this.

Looking into the crowd, I waved excitedly at my parents and my older sister once I caught sight of them but instantly frowned once I noticed the empty seat next to them.

Dominick was in that seat and my heart kind of dropped to my stomach at the fact that he didn’t get to see me walk across the stage. “He must have had to use the bathroom,” I assured myself as I walked back to my seat while simultaneously eyeing his to see when he would come back but he didn’t.

***

Once the ceremony was over, I was happy to get out of these heels I’ve been wearing because my ankles were killing me. I didn’t even have to find my family because they found me, immediately embracing me while telling me how proud they were. My mom was crying like always and my dad looked anxious that his baby girl was growing up.

Tiarra hugged me tightly and smiled. “You’re officially an adult now. Don’t get too excited though, it fucking sucks.” I laughed at her bluntness and shook my head. “I’m proud of you. I wish I could have graduated with a 4.0. Maybe the folks would have got me a car too.”

My eyes widened. “They got me a car?!”

“Don’t tell them I told you.” She winked at me and chuckled before pulling away from the embrace.

“Where’s Dom?” I asked, turning back to my parents for answers but only earning a shrug.

“He said he had to go to the restroom. Maybe he got lost.” My dad joked but only a nervous chortle escaped my lips in response.

Dom and I were waiting until today to tell my parents that I was six weeks pregnant. He seemed excited about it but I hope he didn’t chicken out and leave me to do it all by myself. I wouldn’t even know how to bring the topic up.

“I’m gonna go find him.” I told them as I handed my mom my heels and started on my search. It wasn’t that big of a school and he rode with me and my parents so I was sure I would find him somewhere.

Walking through the double doors and into the hallway, I headed in the direction of the bathrooms because I really had to go to the ladies room myself. A few of my peers greeted and congratulated me on the way but I tried to keep things as brief as possible so I wouldn’t pee myself.

It seemed like there were people on every hallway. I was struggling to find a hall that was empty so I wouldn’t spend ten minutes pushing past people to get to the restroom.

I finally stumbled upon one of the newer hallways, immediately halting once I found him.

My eyebrows furrowed as I watched a female whisper into his ear while she slid a small piece of paper into his pocket. She looked older and way more developed than I did. I had never seen her a day in my life so I know she didn’t go to school with me, I would have at least recognized her face. She then planted a light kiss on his jawline causing him to bite down on his bottom lip, placing his hand on her waist as she pulled away.

I was fuming. That was enough.

Marching over to them, I folded my arms across my chest but they still failed to notice me until I spoke. “Who the fuck is she, Dom?” My facial expression looked hard but you could tell by the crack in my voice that I wanted to cry.

The female looked over at me with a small smirk before strutting away, making sure to twist her hips each time she began a new step. And Dominick just... watched her.

Not even bothering to acknowledge me until she was out of sight.

My blood was boiling and I was getting more pissed each second that went by. I shoved him with all of my strength causing him to grab my arms as he caught himself so that he wouldn’t fall.

“Let go of me you fucking asshole, you missed me walk across stage for that slut?!” I struggled to pull my arms from his grip as I stomped my feet, probably looking like I was having a mini temper tantrum.

“CALM DOWN.” His voice boomed through the empty hall as he pinned me up against the wall by my wrists. His loud voice didn’t scare me, I just wanted to run away crying but I also didn’t want him to have the satisfaction of seeing me cry. “Babe, I need you to calm down ok?” He spoke in a more soothing tone causing me to stop struggling and just stare down at my feet. I didn’t even want to see his face right now or ever again for that matter.

“Why are you worried about some bitch that was tryna get my number? I told her I have a girl so she tried to slip me hers anyways.”

“Well you seemed to be enjoying it, you didn’t push her away or anything. You just sat there!” I retorted, my voice cracking again as a tear escaped from my eye. I don’t know how much longer I could hold it, the back of my throat was starting to sting more and more by the second.

“If it means that much to you...” He released my arms and dug into his pocket, throwing the same piece of paper in my direction. “Here, you can have the bitch number yourself. YOU my girl, YOU got my seed inside you and YOU the one that I’m planning to make my wife. Not her. Damn. You needa stop being so fuckin insecure man.” 

I could tell he was upset and I couldn’t help but to feel bad. “I-I’m sorry baby.” I replied lowly, grabbing his arm. “But what would you expect me to think? She was all over you. Basically throwing herself at you. I just--” I sighed and shook my head.

Grabbing my chin with his index and thumb finger, he lifted my head so that I was now face to face with him. “I love you, Simone Wyatt. Nobody else. You gotta trust that.”

I tried to hide my blush as a small smile crept on my face. He inched closer towards me and then pressed his lips against mine. 

I don’t think I’ve ever been kissed so passionately.

***Flashback ends***

Man, I was so fucking stupid back then.

I fell for all his words and bullshit lies no matter how much his actions showed me differently. I was the epitome of young and naive. I thought if I was the perfect girlfriend, he would have no choice but to love me the way he said he did. Changed my whole lifestyle for a nigga that wouldn’t even change the heart emojis by his ex’s contact name for me.

“Aye Simone.” Xae’s voice called at me from around the corner, pulling me out of my thoughts.

He waved two blunts between his fingers at me causing me to rub at the back of my neck nervously.

“Oh, um, I’ve never smoked before.” I admitted, feeling like a little kid because almost everyone my age has tried weed at least once before. I was too busy focused on my grades to do any of the fun shit my friends were doing back in high school.

He shrugged. “There’s a first time for everything.”

I tried to fight back a smile as I got up from the couch and followed him to the balcony. He slid the glass doors to the side, letting me step outside first before he did the same and closed the doors back.

“One for you, one for me.” He said, handing me one of the two blunts in his hands causing my eyes to widen.

“You expect me to smoke this whole thing?”

He let at a low chuckle. “If you can’t then save some for later.”

I thought it over for a minute. “What if I don’t like it?”

“More for me. You’re thinkin about it too much. Just light it and go with the flow.” Lighting his blunt, he held the flame over to mine as I looked at him then back down at the small fire.

Attempting to light it the same way he did because honestly he looked like a pro, I instantly began to cough once the smoke invaded my lungs. He patted me on the back as I nearly hacked my lungs out.

Shaking my head, I tried to give the blunt back to him causing him to push my hand back my way. “You’ll get used to it. Everyone coughs their first time. Try again.” He assured me.

I watched closely as he smoked from his before holding it back up to my lips and taking another pull from it, this time going down a lot smoother than the first time. As I exhaled, I let out a few more coughs as my lungs tried to adjust to this new feeling.

Before I knew it, we were halfway through with both of our blunts and I was feeling good. We had just been talking and laughing. This is probably the most I’ve laughed in years.

“So wait... you used to have a dog... that bit people in the ass when they messed with you?” I laughed some more as he did the same. “That’s gold, I wish I could have seen that.”

He nodded and smoked some more. “Oh yeah, Shark ain’t play bout me.”

“And why the hell did you name your dog Shark?” I chuckled out, taking another hit and slowly exhaling it.

“Nigga liked to bite people, it’s common sense.”

Shaking my head, I stared at the scenery we got from the balcony and finally felt at peace. I don’t know if it was the weed or being somewhere other than my house for a change but I felt free to do whatever I wanted like I was invincible.

“You know you can stay here until you’re able to find somewhere to go or at least get back on your feet.”

My thoughts immediately went back to reality and I put the rest of the blunt out, shaking my head no.

“I can’t do that. I have to go.” I replied before standing up from my seat.

He grabbed my arm causing me to look down at him with furrowed eyebrows. “Where you gonna go? I don’t want you to go back to wherever you came from. I could give you a ride.” He said as he also put the rest of his blunt out.

“That’s none of your business and thanks but no thanks. I’ll be fine.”

I tried to walk away but he kept his grip on me as he stood to his feet. “Come on, Simone. Don’t start acting like that again.”

I didn’t actually want to leave but if I didn’t, Dom will come looking for me. It doesn’t matter where I turn, he will always find me. He’s proved that once before and I don’t ever want to have to go through that again.

“Xavier, you have your own happy life going on here. I’m not trying to fuck that up. Forget about me and what you think you know about me because you can’t save me. Now let me go.” Snatching my arm away from his grip, I attempted to open the sliding doors but he quickly closed them back.

“If you would just--”

I didn’t want to listen to anything else he had to say because it was just going to make me want to stay more. And that’s dangerous for everyone.

“Just leave me alone, ok?” I yelled slightly, not really meaning to but that’s just the way it came out.

“I’m just tryna help you.”

“Well I don’t need you or anyone else’s help! I’m not a fucking charity case.” I spat back, angrily opening the doors and beginning to gather my things before quickly storming out of the house.

I wanted more than anything for him to help me but I didn’t want anything to happen to him because of me. I know how crazy Dom is.