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#I'M!! THE ENJOYUER...
frostbite-the-bat · 5 months
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i hgoupe I'm The roller guy to yall
#I'm srs I need recognition for things I like#I NEED TO BE Known That I like This thing#Not famous but#I'M!! THE ENJOYUER...#I can get like that with clash around friends in general but I keep it lows#But in Tghe fandom. I'm srs I may avoid ppl if I'm like#Man pplproly see them as the Roller guy hahaha they're popular and draw Tghe guy a lot and nobody likes me and#Help me#It's so dark here#What mental illness is causing this#ITS SO COLD....#WHERE AM I... IM SHOEING NEGATIVE MENTAL ILLNESS....#I will go crazy reaches to get recognized for a Thing usually by Overworking On Fanart#But also I'm just a perfectionist also so that doesn't help either#And then oops haha adhd make me NOT feel rewarded for ANYTHING and it's ALL MISERY#At least friends are nice and love me and I feel great Showing Stuff and Them Telling me stuff#But I generally feel disliked by people#I may just be over thinking but I can't shake off the feeling that people murmur about me negatively. Oh it's the annoying lame guy bitch#I think people also don't like me because I talk too much I get personal in art posts and I talk a lot#People tend to ignore that#And idk#I have friends who love me and I love them and that means more than anyrhing#But seeing anyone get recognized for Liking Thing makes me#Seriously want to do physical harm to myself sometimes and that's not a joke#I suffer Self Bite when Stressed. I don't know how to Regulate Sometimes.#Why do you think I block so many ppl and whine abt it#I get jealous upset at nothing feeling threatened. sometimes yea ppl post genuinely triggering stuff but half the time I'm just like#HIISS. HISSSS#HiiIIISSS#I need to have my brain cleaned and changed for a better one this isn't kt
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mallowstep · 3 years
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istmsams fic notes
i don't write fic notes for every fic, and i normally queue them, but the thing about keeping all my thoughts bottled up (mostly) is that now they're here, so, in no particular order:
dovewing tried to dom exactly once, and it ended almost immediately when she went, "what do you want, daddy?" and tigerheart responded with, "no, kitten, we're not doing that right now."
thunderclan goes, "we're going to make reasonable accommodations for dovewing in the most ableist way possible."
she really is an excellent fighter.
fern and dove first became friends when she was setting him up with ivypool.
thunderclan likes tigerheart better than bumblestripe. just flat out they like him better.
tigerheart, dovewing, ivypool, and fernsong sleep all right next to each other, with dovewing in the very centre. she's surrounded by them.
there's no contradiction wrt dovewing playfighting with tigerheart: that right there is the coping mechanism working. she feels safe with him, so she can express that desire.
fernsong has older brother/babysitter vibes to her. (obviously not all of the time, but that's the role he plays. like yeah let's play fun games while we wait for tiger to get home.)
once tiger stays in thunderclan, they court, and birchfall freaks tiger out before going "no my daughter loves you of course i'm happy you're together lmao"
tigerheart and dovewing are discreet for narrative convenience, by which i mean, whenever she calls him daddy in a public setting assume she's whispering or something.
the hunting patrol she gets hurt on was a scuffle with *mumbles i don't remember much of avos shhh*
bramblestar and squirrelflight are like "yeah tigerheart it was pretty obvious you were staying here. day zero and you were sleeping in a nest with dovewing. welcome home kiddo."
bumblestripe has the power to bring up the daddy thing to someone else in thunderclan at any time, but he would never do that because ivypool and tigerheart would rip him to shreds.
(that said if he did, everyone would totally believe him.)
dovewing's ability to come back to a normal headspace is related to how stressed she is. more stress = harder to come up, which is why tigerheart tells fernsong to just let her chill during the battle. (usually if they're doing that they'd go out of camp.)
i refer to the scene where the four are walking back as tigerheart's "don't let dovewing drop but also speedrun her back to normal" challenge. 50% credit.
dovewing's not always in the same headspace: e.g., when she says, "does he want a daddy?" she's more...roleplaying. compared to when she's waiting with fernsong and hard coping.
nyway writing this was a lot of fun glad y'all r enjoyuing <3
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