#I'm currently trying to nurse my art block

[zuzu-draws]

[Impulsive Decisions]

"Tobi didn't have to save Kakashi, he was just..bored! That's right! Tobi was bored."

[kazoosandfannypacks]

Find the Words Tag Game

Tagged by @booksteaandtoomuchtv Thanks, bestie!

Rules: Find the words in all your current WIPs and post a snippet containing the words, then tag others with their own words.

My Words: tired, hand(s), and smirk.

I wanted to include one snippet from each of my major wips and since none of them contained the word "smirk," I figured I'd do two for the word "hand" and then include a little snippet from another wip for "smirk"

hand- sabezra gamergirl au, cygnetscholar superhero au

 Ezra watched as the player found the Warthog, and perfectly drove, splattering the Aliens that got in her way. Nearby there was a small opening, he watched the player take the truck through, by driving on the stone wall. If she flipped, it’d be all over. If not, she’d be more awesome than usual. The landing was about to happen, the anxiety was building,  and then… a hand got in between him and the phone, blocking his view entirely.  "Hey," Ezra said, pulling his headphone off of one ear so he could yell at his roommate, whose hand covered his phone.  "Hey yourself," Jai said, "we gotta get going; we're gonna be late."  Ezra hadn't looked at a clock since the stream had started, which was apparently three hours ago. Somehow it was already fifteen minutes before the dining hall stopped serving dinner, and it was at least a ten minute walk down that way.

.

 Hope typed in a number on the keypad, and the door opened, not to a bunch of musty old boxes of Christmas decorations, but instead to a high tech and well lit room, complete with a fancy supersuit display case, a divider to change behind, an almost wall-sized computer, and a state of the art gaming chair— complete with a very frazzled guy in the chair.  "Another day saved," Hope said, "and I even had time to grab you coffee on the way back."  She snapped her fingers, and one of the cups she'd left at the door appeared in her hand.  "I don't drink coffee," he said.  "You think I don't know that by now, Gid?" Hope asked, "it's [OH CRAP WHAT KIND OF TEA DOES GIDEON DRINK]* tea."

tired- captain swan romeo & juliet & boybands

 Killian had hoped to draw as little attention to himself as possible as he left for his library date with Emma.   Liam, however, had never been one to ignore his little brother, even when he seemed engrossed in whatever he was doing  "Do you wanna go grab a pizza tonight?" Liam asked, pausing his show to ask.  "Wha– no," Killian fumbled, "I'm on my way to the library anyway; I'll grab something on the way."  "It's Saturday night and you're going to the library?" Liam asked, "we've got to get you a girlfriend."  Though Killian was tired of his brother trying to set him up on stupid dates, he had to admit, he appreciated the irony of that statement. "I wonder how he'd respond if he knew that's what I'm doing," Killian thought.

smirk- hooked on a feeling (millian soulmark au)

 Milah smirked a little, but thought of how awful it would be if Baelfire had to see something awful happen.  "Maybe this is a bad idea."

*text in capital letters and brackets indicates I need to fill in information after more research

Tagging some writer friends to participate in this challenge! Feel free to tag me back if you like, and I'll share some more snippets with whatever words you select! @laughingphoenixleader @kanerallels @jessicas-pi @silver-the-phoenix @jedi-nurse @seleneisrising and anyone else reading this! Your words are tree, eye, and water, but if none of those words appear, feel free to use the words I did!

[froggos-chaos-corner]

OK OK GUYSSS

sooo i decide to comind my favorite welcome home aus, the greyscale wally au by @sweetest-honeybee and the mob au made by @clownsuu !!!!

I was gonna draw stuff for it but i have art block rn TvT so instead ima explain it bec why not!! Also sorry if this makes 0 sense im am really exited rn LOL-

The only two people in the mob who have currently gotten effected by Home is Wally and Barnaby, Wally got turned grey for misbehaving and Barnaby got turned grey for yelling and screaming at home for turning Wally grey lol.

Unlike in the Greyscale au where home created the welcome home cast, Home is just the leader of the mob and Home will punish people if they misbehave and break rules (like Barnaby and Wally did).

The behaviors of Wally and Barnaby were a bit comulated for me to fiurge out since they act so different in both aus but hell i did it! Wally is always tired and doesn't move a lot since it drains him so much when he's grey, Barnaby has constant anxiety when he is grey and passes out here and there from panic attacks, he smokes 10 times more when he is grey and his hands shake like crazy.

Everyone was VERY confused when they found Wally in this weird grey state because this has never happened before (well, at least to their knowledge), Howdy and Barnaby were the most concern about Wally and Poppy kept him in the nursing area, Julie and Sally were trying to find ways where he can touch things and not turn them grey, Frank and Eddie were trying to find out how this happened and kept on asking Wally question, Howdy and Poppy comfort him and Barnaby went to ask Home what the hell he did tp Wally, leading to Barnaby turning grey himself.

When Barnaby came back also grey the mob got even more confused and concerned, Howdy was actually showing emotions for once in his life after he had seen Barnaby and had to carry him to the nursing area because Barnaby was passed out. When Barnaby woke up he was freaking out and almost passed out again but Howdy and Poppy calmed him down.

Everyone was basically trying to find answers while Poppy and Howdy were trying their best to help Barnaby and Wally.

And i will draw this shit and come up with more ideas later on but I'm glad i was able to do this

Thank you sosososo much to @clownsuu and @sweetest-honeybee for giving me their blessings and letting me make this silly little au, they are my favorite artist on tumblr and I'm so glad they let me do this

Im begging you guys to go check them out they are amazing

[seizethegrey]

to try again tomorrow

Dear nurse on the street:

In 2021, you took my arm and led me home through the Upper East Side. I was so drunk I could barely walk. I assume you found me stumbling up 2nd Avenue, or sitting on a curb in front of that shitty bar a block from the hospital.

I suppose you knew exactly what was up. You don't have to be a genius to spot a substance use disorder when a person is already blotted out drunk, and at that point, PTSD was a foregone conclusion for us all.

One of the weirder things about being an alcoholic is that I'll never remember the people who saved my life. For better or worse, you will always be faceless; your voice will always be a muddled burble like running water. Yet your empathy left a mark on me, something that will never fade.

It is easy to look back on that incredible dark moment in my life and all the moments like it and hate the person I was. Yet in that moment, you looked and me, and you didn't see a lost cause. You saw a person who deserved to go home that night, someone who deserved a chance to sleep it off and try again tomorrow. You didn't even know I was a doctor until you got me home, when my humiliated husband sputtered that out as one of the justifications that I wasn't currently a complete write-off of a human being, yet you took me home anyway.

I cannot help but be anodyne in my assessment of my disease. Indeed, the ability to think of disease in any other way is something that was patiently excised from my mind over many years. So I will put it this way: last month, I changed the qualifier for my diagnosis.

"Alcohol use disorder, moderate, with dependence, in early remission" has become "alcohol use disorder, moderate, with dependence, in sustained remission."

One year. That means one year.

The first time I really tried to quit was the day after you brought me home, and while it took me several more times to make it stick... I think it finally might have.

I have come to recognize that there is much I share with you. I have spent a lifetime figuratively and literally walking human beings home for the night, a faceless, nameless figure practiced in the art of giving people another day. I have always been a person with a bad disease, but I have also always been a person who helps.

I told my nurses once, at morning rounds, after months and months of ending loss and tragedy: "I want you to know that I came in this morning and I did what I do every morning. I looked through the charts. I looked at every dose of every medication.

"I would like to bring your attention to the fact that every night nurse who is here on rounds this morning walked into the room of a patient on palliative morphine and gave a dose... every four hours. Like clockwork. Even when the order was written 'as needed' rather than 'standing.'

"I see you. Maybe some people don't, but I see you. You're helping. Even those we cannot save, we can still help."

Then I went home and drank myself into a stupor... but tonight, I won't. If I work hard and I'm lucky, I never will again.

It turns out that a person who is willing to help a worthy cause even when that cause seems hopeless is a person worth fighting for.

[spider-shoes]

I offer up the best of my humble harvest, my boy Reign, an incredibly stressed 19 year old

Currently working on a new character sheet for them but I have this.

Now for an info dump from god, I don’t blame you if you don’t read this

Reign is from my story Liar Street, they live in a city called Styre and go to the Styre institute for the gifted. The gifted are people who for one reason or another are able to do things no one else can, these gifts run through family lines and are passed down through genetics, they appeared roughly 8 generations ago and the gift each person in a family has is different but have similarities to each other.

Reign has the ability to gain energy from others by draining it from them, this leaves him with the downside of not gaining as much energy from the typical means of sleeping and eating, his mother has the ability to give others he own energy and hers replenishes normally.

Reign was enrolled in SIG (Styre Institute For The Gifted) at 9 when he knocked out 3 older kids who had cornered him in an alleyway after school so that they could rough him up. They had ended up cutting him across the face when they had just been trying to scare him with the knife. The head of the school had taken notice of this and had Reign enrolled in the Combative track at the institute. They have been learning at the institute ever since. SIG’s Combative track is there to train students to go and retrieve information and perform assassinations in order to keep Styre safe from the ongoing war outside of their blocked off city. Reign is somewhat of SIG’s Golden boy despite not wanting that title, they are incredibly capable, very overworked, and he does his job well. His team, assigned to them by Styre when he was 13, is comprised of his friends who he cares for like family (they are, Niko, Daniel, Riley, and Valentine) at 15 they were given housing at the institute together and sleep there on week nights and any weekends they don’t go home for.

Reign is snarky, stubborn, smart mostly because there is no room to screw up, and incredibly loyal. He loves his friends fiercely and despite being constantly stressed they do their best to be a good friend even though he sometimes slips up and snap at one of them.

Reign is a gymnast and someone who loves boba, and when they aren’t on a mission or training, they are practicing with aerial silks or sitting in the tea shop below their mother’s apartment were he grew up. He loves the summer and warm weather, he cares a lot about his appearance and that lends to their enjoyment of fashion.

Their parents are separated with his father leaving when Reign was 7 due to having a drinking problem and not wanting to burden his family anymore, his father is named Matthew and he has gotten better but occasionally he’ll slip back into old habits when things go bad. His mother is named Emily and she is a Nurse at the hospital, she cares a lot about Reign and is always concerned when he doesn’t come home for the weekend, often times calling the institute to tell his missions coordinator Rodney to stop overworking them, Reign has a close relationship with her and tries to keep her from worrying as much as he can, but it rarely works.

Reign goes through a lot during Liar street and so does the rest of the cast but, this is a pretty good overview of who they are.

me reading all of that

but seriously that is so so cool dude liar street my beloved. you've clearly put so much time into this and i'm really really impressed with how well you've fleshed reign out, if you want to talk more about them or their world (which i am intrigued by!! how does styre work!! whats with the war beyond their walls!!) i would absolutely be down for it. thank you for sharing. the art is fucking incredible btw the colours work so well

[sesmantelar]

today is bad vibes all around, but good halloween vibes. it hurts my soul that I have worked every holiday since I graduated college. each passing day shows me just how much disdain I have for the medical field and makes me more exhausted. I hate feeling this way. I'm trying to find another position as of next year, because I need way more money and I desire a change of scenery. I feel like I'm being taken advantage of a lot of the time. the only saving grace (I feel) would be for me to switch back to night shift. day shift is way too overstimulating. I want a block schedule, more than 3k a week, and plenty of ice time and time to study. I don't have even another year of full time nursing left in me. I have zero compassion, I'm burnt out, I'm exhausted, I dread going to work even if it is easy, I feel like life is being sucked out of my soul. I need to write daily to release whatever I am feeling, as it usually keeps me on track. I also need to force exercise on myself, because when I get like this I decompensate so fast (doing nothing but sleeping, either over eating or not eating therefore losing conditioning, strength and flexibility). I really need to do some kind of overtime because I leave for travel at the end of next week. when I get like this, I am irritated constantly, and it won't go away until I lock myself in my apartment and cocoon for at least a day. Im not even doing my schoolwork. november, I'm going to force myself into overdrive because my future is waiting on me. If I don't, I will be stuck in this never ending nursing loop. and death sounds like the better option than continuing this cursed career. I hate every single day as a nurse.

on the bright side, outside is so chilly and spooky feeling. Halloween hit right on time despite it being so hot the past few days. I wish I could go home, eat spooky foods and watching The Craft. I still may watch the Craft while golden and enjoy my evening. but every day must be productive. art books study business travel agent figure skating harp hair/skincare. this currently feels like it's too much but it really would not be if I stuck to a routine and followed through on promises. I have no clue how I'm going to rebuild my discipline again.

[digitalfairyyy]

Never Letting You Out Of My Sight

<><><><><>

Summary: Fighting for the butcher army has its pros and its cons

Warnings: angst with some fluff sprinkled in, mentions of blood, hinted past abuse, choking, flinching

Pronouns: genderneutral

Note: I might write another part to this but who knows

<><><><><>

Art by Jessica Oyhenart

<><><><><>

The stars twinkled in the sky while you stood at your chest, organizing your supplies, pictures of ham and bacon hanging on the walls reminding you of the task at hand; to kill Technoblade. To get revenge for what happened to L'Manberg. You were no more than a nurse for the butcher army, and sometimes a guard, that's currently what you were doing. You had been given the task to watch Phil while the others go find Techno.

Glancing over at where Phil was sitting on house arrest, you picked up a shiny red apple from the chest and made your way to Phil's house. With a quiet knock, Phil was at the door staring at you. You held out the apple to him while he stared at you as if you were insane.

"Take this as my apology to what the Butcher army did to your home, I know an apple isn't a great payment for all the damages but you seemed hungry so," Phil's wings folded back behind him as he reached for the apple in your palm. He thanked you for the apple as he took a bite out of it, "I've never seen Quackity like this, I knew he wanted Techno to pay but not like this."

Philza's eyes narrowed looking at you, "so why are you helping him? Quackity doesn't deserve anything, he's a psychopath. You can find a better friend than that, mate."

You stiffled a laugh with your sleeve making Philza cock his eyebrow at you, "oh sorry, just reminds me of something that an old... friend of mine used to say."

"You stopped yourself before you said friend, what's up with that mate?" Phil questioned, finishing the apple and tossing it behind him into the garbage.

"Just hurts to remember that's all," you didn't want to admit the truth, besides it had been so long, he probably forgot all about you at this point, "it's been so long, you think he even remembers me? It's been such a long time."

"Hey cheer up mate," Philza wrapped one of his wings around you, "here I'll make a deal with you. Help me out of here and save Techno and I'll help reunite you and this friend of yours."

Your eyes widened, nervousness hiding behind your eyes as you felt compelled to agree. Phil smiled at you looking around his chest before pulling out a creeper and a skeleton head, tossing you the skeleton head.

"How are you supposed to leave with those?" Philza looked down at his feet where you were pointing. The iron boots keeping him on house arrest keeping him in place.

"Thinking still about that," Philza looked back at the you, his eyes showing concentration but also worry, "at least Techno knows, I got one of my crows to send him a letter. It's gonna take them a while to get all the way to him, he has time to prepare himself." Phil smiled to himself staring at the creeper head, "we're gonna fucking tail them. I know where Techno lives, with or without a compass, I know."

"But the boots."

Phil let out a breath looking at you, "not like there's a tracker in them, they just can't know I left the house. We can hide in plain sight."

<><><><><>

It was about a few hours long of a journey making your way through the snow, the skeleton head proving to be quite the annoyance as you and Phil hid in the bushes staring at Techno's house where the group had formed. They seemed to be arguing with a ghost who kept switching from going inside and outside.

Than you saw him, Techno standing on his porch staring down at the butcher army and the ghost. He looked the same as he always did, a few new scars but nothing too noticeable. He still wore the robe you had made him, it brought a smile to your face seeing how regal he still looked wearing it.

The ghost seemed to notice you and Phil, waving over at you two while Phil tried to silently signal him to stop. Phil tapping on your shoulder to move to a less visible spot while you two easedropped on the conversation. The ghost continued to float over to you two, waving at Phil and giving him a piece of stake while Phil stayed silent.

Techno started to sprint in your direction as Quackity caught him explaining that he had to come with them.

"Techno isn't allowed in L'Manberg?" the ghost said with a quiet cry, apart of you felt bad for him, he seemed so confused and not able to understand the severity of the scene right now.

It was silent.

"I choose blood!" Techno yelled as he smashed potions onto the ground, making it difficult for you and Phil to see the action. All you could hear was Tubbo, Fundy, and Ranboo's screams while Quackity was trying to get a hold of the situation.

"Big Q do something! Big Q!!" Tubbo yelled, blocking Techno's axe with his shield being an inch from his face, "Big Q!"

"Stop!" Quackity yelled, he was riding what seemed to be a horse. You remembered that horse, it was the same horse that Techno used to go riding with you on. Carl you remembered his name was, the most important thing in the world to Techno was that horse.

Techno looked away from where he had Tubbo trapped, his eyes widening seeing Quackity holding Carl, "get away from that horse Quackity!"

"Drop everything, or I will kill this horse right in front of you," Quackity's eyes narrowed. Techno seemed conflicted before he dropped his axe, his armor, his robe, and his crown, allowing Fundy and Tubbo to restrain him.

Phil grabbed your arm pulling you with him, "come on, we have to get there before they do."

<><><><><>

Sitting in the seats like you were told to do when they returned, you waited for Technoblade's execution. The cage open for Techno's place and the anvil waiting to be dropped. Carl was tied to the fence by the dock while you watched Techno be shoved into the cage.

"When I hit that lever over there it is gonna drop and that anvil up there will kill you," Quackity explained while Techno looked up at the anvil hanging above him.

Tubbo made his way over to his stand where he would read Techno's rights before the execution. Tubbo fixed the mic to his height before speaking, "Technoblade has robbed our country of everything that made it special, everything that defined what it was. He stepped in when he shouldn't have. He created chaos, he ruined the government-"

Suddenly an enderpearl was thrown and Punz had appeared smashing potions on the ground before attacking. He dropped tnt on the ground that was quickly picked up before he started to attack the butcher army. You ran out of your spot towards Phil's house which had been boarded up once more.

"Technoblade," the ghost smiled looking up at the piglin hybrid, a blue sheep following him, "I've named him Friend."

"Hello Ghostbur," Techno said in his usual monotone voice, grabbing onto the bars of the cage, "that's fantastic Ghostbur, I'm about to die Ghostbur."

"Fuck it fuck it I'm pulling this lever," Quackity ran over to where the lever was, Techno understandable being confused as he tried to escape the cage. Phil pulling out his bow to try to stop them before Quackity pulled the lever.

It was like slow motion, your back was pressed against Phil's boarded up door as you watched the anvil fall. Techno staring up at the anvil that was coming closer and closer to crushing him. Ghostbur looking confused of the situation, not able to understand. Phil looking away not able to bare staring at his friend die.

But than he didn't...

Instead he jumped ontop of the anvil and out of the cage. Running over to Carl and jumping onto the horse's back riding away.

<><><><><>

You weren't sure what you were supposed to say. You were sitting in front of Quackity stitching up his face while he sat in silence, occasionally tensing up in pain from the needle piercing his skin. You sort of blamed yourself for what happened to Quackity even though it was Techno's pickaxe that did this.

It was a deep cut too, you knew his right eye would never work again from how it had glossed over into a pure white and Quackity had mentioned his vision going blurry in that eye. Once you were done stitching it up, Quackity looked up at you, "so when did you plan to tell me?"

"Tell you what?" you questioned standing up and putting your stuff away, sorting your potions. You really hoped Quackity wasn't hinting at what you think he was.

"About you and Technoblade..." Quackity's eyes narrowed at you when you froze, your fingers tapping on your table, "how you two used to be old buddy buddies? How you helped Philza escape? How you're only helping me because you think I'm gonna hurt Tubbo or Ranboo? Maybe how you fucking love Techno?!" By this point, Quackity had stood up and was right in front of you, you gulping seeing the anger showing in Quackity's eye. It reminded you how Schlatt used to treat you when you worked for him.

"Quackity I--"

"I bet you're so fucking happy to see me like this huh?" Quackity's hand flew its way to your throat, crushing your throat under his hand, "in fucking pain, only having one good eye left, huh? Was this all some kind of joke to you? Did I ever truly mean anything to you because I'm not so sure anymore. Maybe my friendship meant nothing? Bet your fucking terrified now."

You gasped for air, trying to push on Quackity's chest to get him to let go feeling yourself lose consiousness.

"I wish Schlatt fucking killed you in the van," Quackity let go of you pushing you down onto the ground, "get out of L'Manberg, I don't want to see your face in this town again or I will not hesitate to execute you and I won't fail this time at it either."

"But my stuff," you said once you regained air in your lungs.

"Not your stuff anymore, you're on your fucking own now," Quackity opened the door, "you have 10 minutes, I better not see your face again."

<><><><><>

With nowhere else to go, you decided to say hello to an old friend. You were absolutely freezing out here with absolutely nothing to defend yourself. You could only hope that he would want to see you or even remember you and all the times you two shared in the past. You felt like you were gonna turn into ice if you were outside for any longer as you knocked on the door.

But the door never opened and eventually you fell asleep, curled up on the porch by the door. You were slipping in and out of consiousness, you'd end up asleep for a few minutes than out again, falling asleep seemed to be the only thing that kept you warm.

Waking back up, you felt your vision be blurry and your head starting to spin. You couldn't even feel your limbs trying to hold onto your shaking cold body as you slowly felt yourself lose consiousness again.

In your frozen state, you felt a pair of arms pick you up, "it's okay I got you, come on come on, you're gonna be okay." You felt something heavy be wrapped around you and heard the door be opened, "come on, we need a fire. Y/N will freeze to death."

"We need to get them warm," you heard the ghost you had seen before say with the sound of a sheep being heard in response.

You felt yourself be dropped gently onto the ground in front of a fireplace, feeling the soft feel of wool curling up behind you along with the heavy robe.

"Will they be okay Techno?" Ghostbur asked the piglin hybrid who was staring down at you. Why had you come all the way out here? Especially at night and during a storm? That was practically a death sentence. He had no clue what would have happened and what he would have done if he was just a few minutes late, "Techno?"

"Go to bed Ghostbur," Techno said kneeling down onto the floor where you were in front of the fireplace curled up in Friend's wool.

"But ghosts don't sleep."

"Just give me some time alone, go play with Steve," Techno was trying to make up any kind of excuse he could to get a few minutes alone to himself to think. Ghostbur understood that he was not wanted right now and sadly nodded moving to outside where Steve was to give the bear company.

Techno looked down at you, his hand hesitantly going to your hair brushing the few strands you had in front of your face out of the way. He had missed you but knew that the separation was for your own safety but now he wasn't so sure being separated was the safest choice now.

Techno's eyes narrowed in curiosity looking at your neck, it'd almost seemed to be bruised as his eyebrows furrowed. He didn't want to assume anything so he decided to ask when you would wake as he smiles to himself, "I am not gonna lose you again."

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You woke up warm and feeling safe, a feeling you hadn't felt for a very long time. Your eyes fluttered open to seeing a blue sheep curled up against you and a polar bear on your other side, his head resting in your lap. The fire place in front of you was still burning brightly as you heard the sound of humming coming from the other room. You pulled yourself off the ground waking up the blue sheep who let out a baa following you.

You entered the other room where the humming was coming from and you were tackled in a hug by the ghost you had met. He smiled clinging to you.

"You're alive! You're alive! I don't even know you but you're alive!" Ghostbur laughed clinging onto you. You laughed hugging the ghost back. You looked over at the corner of the room over Ghostbur's shoulder noticing Techno sitting at a table, a book in his hands and glasses on the bridge of his nose, his tusks peaking out of his lips like usual.

"Morning," Techno said with his usual monotone voice marking the page in his book and take his glasses off. Ghostbur let go of you as you made your way over to the table sitting down, Techno's robe still over your shoulders, "you look very nice in my robe I must say."

"Thank you for saving my life," Techno nodded sliding a plate of potatoes over to you as you stiffled a laugh, "you still obsessed with potatoes huh?"

"Eh," Techno shrugged as Ghostbur skipped outside with Friend following him. Techno watched the door close, finally knowing Ghostbur was out of earshot he looked at you in all seriousness, "who put their hands on you."

You were caught off guard by Techno's question, looking at him, his eyes scanning your entire face trying to read your emotions, "no one, I just had a run in with some mobs, that's all."

"Oh so you're trying to tell me that a creeper grabbed you by the throat as such a rough grip to bruise? Come on Y/N, I've known you for how long and you think I'll fall for something like that?" it was obvious you couldn't just lie to Techno but at the same time, lying would cause less blood shed, "besides you wouldn't just run out of L'Manberg like that and almost have yourself killed if everything was fine, just spit it out."

"Why do you want to know so badly?"

"Because the person that I love just comes to my house out of nowhere after completely disappearing for a long time and almost dies at my door step and then I find bruises on their neck like someone had strangled them?!" Techno yelled catching you off guard. You had never seen Techno so mad at you before, sure you two had arguments in the past but this was different, he never raised his voice at you before.

Techno raised his hand to run his hand through his hair to calm himself down, however when you flinched seeing his hand go up, he froze. His hands dropping to his sides as he got up from the table and grabbed his axe before walking out the door.

You looked down at your hands, you didn't mean to flinch, it just happened, you didn't mean to scare him like that. You sighed dropping your face into your hands as you silently cried into your hands feeling Steve lay his head on your lap looking up at you.

"I gotta go boy," you scratched behind Steve's ear as you got off the chair, Steve following behind you as you went to the door, "no you have to stay here boy." Opening the door, you closed it before Steve could come out as you watched the bear jump up and look through the window of the door as you walked out.

The snow crunched under your feet as you started to walk away. You were meant to be alone. You thought coming back to Techno would make things better but all you did was make him think that you were scared of him.

You kept walking till you noticed less and less snow and noticed you were in a flower field. Your tears started to drop more as you looked at the flowers, it reminded you of the times you and Techno would spend in the flower fields together. You would sit in the grass picking flowers for different decor and dyes while Techno would tell stories of Greek mythology or his war stories. It didn't matter how many times you heard the same story, you loved to hear them everytime.

"Thought you might have wandered off to here," you vision snapped turning around to see Techno. He was just wearing his white button up, the first three button undone, his hair in a new braid. You remembered that you were the one that always braided his hair until you taught him to.

"Tech, I'm sorry-"

"Hush," Techno held up his hand moving over to you, his body towering over yours, "just tell me, please."

You looked down at the ground as Techno sighed, wrapping his arms around your waist as he pulled you into his chest. You clung to his body as you felt the tears starting to well in your eyes, "it was Quackity. He found out about us and then he attacked me after I helped him treat that scar you gave him."

You felt Techno tense, "I wish I could kill that duck. I can't believe he'd put his hands on you like that."

"It's not the first time," you sighed out, hiding your face in Techno's chest. Techno asked you what you meant as you bit your lip, "during the L'Manberg war for independence, Dream had grabbed me when the van exploded and held me hostage for a few weeks until I got saved after L'Manberg became independant. Than I ended up working for Schlatt for a while when Wilbur and Tommy were exiled, I guess they never told you. Schlatt treated both me, Niki, and Quackity awfully, he taxed Niki till she was bankrupt, he would yell and shame Quackity, and then he'd grab me. It was worse when he found out I had opened the gates for Wilbur to get in Manberg, he almost killed me in a drunk rage inside the van. Than well, you know Quackity."

Techno sighed, "Y/N look at me."

You shook your head hiding your face in Techno's chest until he grabbed your chin making you look up at him.

"I'm never letting you out of my sight again."

"I love you," you held onto Techno's hand as he smiled pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

"I love you too."

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[ratwrites]

Lies In Paradise 2/2

Requests.

Masterlist.

Prompt/s: "I don't need a babysitter."

Summary: Sam stays with (Y/N) after the Jinn attack.

Warnings: Lil angst? Fluff

Pairing: Sam Winchester X Reader

Word Count: 3,987

A/N: Not gonna lie I totally lost interest in this ;-; So this is just a little quick happy ending thing. I'm working on some other things to get my creative juices flowing. Trying to write through my block

[[MORE]]

I carried her outside panic clenching hard on my heart while guilt tugged at my gut. This my was fault... I shouldn't have let her go alone. She was limp in my arms as I carried her to the impala. I glanced back spotting Dean close behind me. In one arm he held a young boy and in his other was a girl about her size. The boy was wide awake while the girl seemed a little out of it. I carefully opened the back door letting Dean slide his load in first. I didn't want to let go of her.

"Come on Sam, we've got to get them to the hospital," Dean growled. I convinced myself to let go setting her in the back seat. The other girl gently laid her across her lap. I gave her a nod of thanks before closing the door and getting into the passenger seat.

.

I sat in the hospital waiting room with Dean. My arms rested across my knees allowing my head to hang. My mind was racing. I shouldn't have let her go alone. I ran a hand through my hair the panic still holding onto my heart. I couldn't calm down. "Dylan?" My head shot up. Dean and I jumped out of or seats and headed toward the doctor.

"How is she? Is she alright?" I asked, nervously.

"And how are the kids?" Dean added.

"They're all doing fine. You found them just in time. If your friend or the girl would've lost anymore blood there would be nothing to help them," he explained, calmly. I let out a sigh of relief my heart relaxing a little.

"Their parents have been called. Thank you both," the doctor added, bowing his head.

"May we see her?" I questioned, running a hand through my hair again. The doctor nodded before walking away. We followed after him until he stopped outside her door.

"You check on her, I'm going to check on the kids," Dean said. I nodded and went into her room. To my surprise she was awake.

"Hey Sam," she rasped, turning her head toward me.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, coming to her bedside. I stood only for a moment before pulling a chair over. She coughed, looking away for a moment.

"Little tired, but I've had worse," she chuckled, roughly. Her voice was weak and hoarse. I frowned slightly.

"I'm so sorry-"

"Don't start." She cut me off. I tilted my head in confusion.

"It isn't- your fault Sam," she said. I opened my mouth to speak, but she cut me off.

"I let my guard down when I saw the girl. That was my mistake," she explained.

"But I-"

"Sam, I went alone because I wanted to. It isn't your fault. I can see it in your eyes- you're blaming yourself... And you don't need to," she finished. I breathed in to speak again but silenced myself as her hand gently rested over mine. Without thinking I shifted intertwining our fingers.

The softest smile I'd ever seen crossed her perfect lips. The panic left me and was replaced with warmth. I stroked her thumb with mine taking a monent to scan my gaze over her face. She was paler than she normally was, but the color was slowly returning to her cheeks and face. Her eyes sparkled even through the dull color that currently occupied her eyes. Her smile held sending butterflies into my stomach. Only one person had ever made me experience such happiness in the roughest times. My heart sank slightly. She was another fine example of how people got hurt around me. I slowly released her hand looking away.

"It's funny... The Jinn showed me everything I've ever wanted.." She huffed, looking up at the ceiling. I turned my gaze back to her.

"What did it show you?" I asked, curiously. She let out a puff of laughter.

"I had my family.. I was married and I lived a normal life as an art teacher..." She sighed, sadness crossing her expression. I stayed silent.

"I had everyone.. My sister, my brothers, my dad, Dean..." She hesitated. "You."

I raised my brows in surprise. My curiosity continued to grow as did my hopes. I'd tried to bury the feelings I had for her, but everytime I thought I was in the clear she'd do something else to remind me of how perfect she was. I'd wanted to tell her for a long time, but I couldn't.

"We had a dog," she added, laughing again. My ears caught at we. We? What did she mean we? When she says married.. Did she mean us? I tried to clear my head. Her eyes met mine and I held it.

"I wanted to stay honestly.." She murmured, looking away her smile fading.

"I had everything I ever could've had..." The question pushed at me.

"Why didn't you?" She looked back at me catching my gaze again.

"I-" she looked away for a moment before catching me again.

"I saw a little boy... When- when I grabbed him I heard..." she hesitated.

"Heard what?" I encouraged.

"I heard you.. Yelling for me.." She continued. My heart stopped.

"I could hear you for a split second calling out to me..." I didn't know what to say so instead I waited.

"I couldn't leave you, which is ironic because you tried to stop me from going too," she huffed. I couldn't help myself as I reached forward taking her hand in mine once more. She squeezed my hand lightly. Her face was sad and it broke me.

"Plus, apparently Dean didn't give me my bracelet and I couldn't live without that damn thing," she giggled, trying to lighten the mood. The sadness on her face only faded a little.

"Damn right you couldn't. You never take it off for christ sake." Dean's voice startled me. I wasn't sure how long he'd been there, but I didn't really care. He came to stand next to me resting a hand on my shoulder. I didn't let go of her hand and she didn't pull away.

"How are ya kid?" Dean asked, calmly.

"I've been better," she said, coughing briefly. Dean chuckled.

"Both of the kids are going to be okay. The little boy is actually going to be discharged in the morning. The Jinn barely got anything out of him before we got there," Dean explained, looking back at the door.

"What about the girl I saw when I got there?" She questioned, sitting up a little more.

"She'll be released in a week or so, but we can get you released now if you want," Dean replied. She let out a sigh of relief.

"Get me the hell out of here. I hate hospitals," she pleaded. I frowned looking up at Dean.

"Maybe that isn't such a good idea. We've got a long drive ahead of us and you need to rest," I countered. She frowned playfully at me.

"I can sleep in the car, plus, isn't there an angel back at the bunker?" She corrected. She had a point. Cas could definitely get her back on her feet in a matter of seconds.

"I'll go get the discharge papers then," Dean said, before wandering out of the room. I turned my full attention back to her looking her over again.

"Are you sure you want to do this? You shouldn't really be up and about so soon." I was concerned about her. She rolled her eyes.

"Help me sit up, will you?" I stood from the chair pushing it aside. I gently reached behind her splaying my hand along her back as she began to sit up. My other hand was braced on her shoulder to steady her. She seemed to tense under my touch which was odd. She shifted with a grunt swinging her legs off of the bed. A nurse entered the room with Dean on her heels. The nurse frowned, but began to unhook her from the machines, silently. I stepped aside taking my place next to Dean.

"Are we sure about this?" I questioned, glancing at my brother.

"She said she wanted out so that is what we're doing. I agree Sam, she shouldn't be going anywhere, but I can remember being in her position and I didn't want to be stuck in a bed either," Dean replied, eyeing her.

"Your clothes are in the drawer miss, and the bathroom is just over there," the nurse instructed. She nodded in response digging out her clothes. Instinctively I moved to her side gently taking her arm and helping her toward the bathroom. Once inside I stood in the doorway.

"You gonna stand there or close the door?" She spoke, drawing me from my blank state. My cheeks flushed a light shade of pink as I backed up closing the door. I sighed and walked back over to Dean.

"I hate it," Dean said, suddenly. I glanced over at him giving him a confused look.

"She shouldn't of had to go through that. Coming out of a Jinn's trance is hard," he explained.

"She shouldn't have gone alone. You should've gone with her," Dean continued, blame evident in his voice. The guilt bit at my gut again causing me to look down at my feet. The bathroom door opened drawing my glance. She was wearing the same clothes that were dirty from the warehouse. Dean approached her offering her his arm.

"Shall we?" She hesitated casting a weary glance my way before reluctantly taking Dean's arm. He began to lead her and I followed behind at a sulking pace.

.

The drive back to the bunker was quiet. She'd fallen asleep about an hour in which gave Dean time to call Cas. I stared in the side mirror watching her sleep behind my seat with her head rested against the cool window. Her face held the same expression it did when we found her. I looked away watching the road ahead as we pulled into the bunker's gravel driveway.

Dean drove the impala into the garage parking it. I unbuckled and reached over the seat resting a hand on her knee. I shook it gently. I swiftly let go as she shot up from the window with a gasp.

"Whoa easy," Dean said, looking back at her. We got out of the car and I helped her. She leaned against me as we walked allowing me to guide her steps.

"You okay?" I asked, gently. She didn't answer only leaning harder against my side. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder keeping her safely locked against me as we walked. I understood her silence. I'd learned the hard way not to push the matter if she didn't want to discuss it.

Cas met us at the entrance to the library taking her from my side and sitting her down in one of the wooden chairs.

"Can you heal her?" Dean questioned, knowing full well that Cas could. Castiel nodded.

"I'd like to look at the full extend of what the Jinn did to you if that's alright," Castiel began, placing his hand on her forehead. She nodded her approval closing her eyes. We watched in silence as a dim light glowed from his palm. I could make out the movement of her eyes under her eyelids. Cas was reading her. Her grip on the chair tightened suddenly before her eyes shot open with another gasp. Castiel pulled his hand back. I took a worried step forward, but paused. Their eyes met and a sympathic look crossed Castiel. Cas sent me the same glance for a moment rising more questions in me. What did he see? Why did he look at me? What scared her?

"Relax for me again," Castiel ordered. With a shaky breath she closed her eyes again. Castiel repeated the same movements except this time the color returned to her face and cheeks. He backed off again and her eyes opened. Their bright color had returned as well.

"You should get some rest. You may feel unwell for a day or two," Castiel suggested. She yawned clearly not going to argue.

"Cas, can I talk to you?" The angel looked toward Dean and nodded before following him out of the room. She stood from the chair swaying a little on her feet. I didn't ask as I took my place at her side again offering her my arm to help her walk. She took it without hesitation.

I walked her to her room and opened the door for her. I helped her to her bed sitting her down. I had to try.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked, quietly. She shook her head before lying herself down. I took that as my cue.

"If you need anything I'm just down the hall," I offered. She didn't respond. I left her room closing the door behind me. Castiel met me outside my own room which was just down the hall from hers.

"Sam, it would be wise to give her some space," Castiel encouraged.

"After what she has gone through and what she has seen it would be unwise to push your presence on her," he added, almost as if he was threatening me. I let out a sigh.

"Can you tell me what she saw?" My mind replayed the things she had said in the hospital, but I still had unanswered questions bouncing in the back of my mind. He shook his head firmly before walking away. I went into my room closing the door. I was tired. I dropped stomach first onto my bed not bothering to make myself comfortable as I very quickly drifted off.

.

I jolted awake to a loud cry and a thud. I snatched my gun from under my pillow and ran from my room searching for the noise. My eyes were tired with sleep, but I forced them open alarm going through me. The cry sounded again signaling that it was from her room. I moved swiftly and quietly down the hall my gun drawn and ready. With one movement I opened her door. In the dark I could make out her form on the floor sitting with her legs drawn up to her chest.

I entered the room sitting my gun on her dresser. I dropped down in front of her and reached out for her. She jumped and scrambled back for a moment. I could make out the fear glazing her eyes. "Hey, hey, it's just me, you're-" I grunted as she lunged forward her arms sliding around my neck. Her face buried itself between her arm and my neck. I stayed on my knees wrapping one arm around her lower back and the other across her shoulder blades. Her body trembled against me. I pressed my face into her shoulder rubbing my thumb against her lower back.

I didn't speak as I held onto her taking in the moment. She'd never clung to me like this before and it was odd. After a few minutes she slowly began to let go. I didn't want to, but I followed her lead. I stood up helping her back onto her feet. She sat on the edge of the bed taking her face in her hands. I stood in front of her staring down at her.

"Are you okay?" I asked. Shock washed over me again as she reached out and gripped my shirt pulling me to stand between her parted legs. She wrapped her arms around my lower back burying her face into my shirt. I hesitated for a moment before letting my arms fall on her shoulders tucking her closer. She shook her head against me giving me an answer to my question. I rubbed circled into her left shoulder blade hoping to calm her down. She was still shaking against me.

"I keep seeing it..." she muttered, into my shirt. She pulled back letting go of me. I followed. Her eyes met mine.

"I keep- I keep seeing it everytime I close my eyes..." she repeated. I placed myself next to her on the bed positioning myself so that I was facing her.

"Seeing what?" I asked.

"All of it... The life, the people... the escape." A chill ran up her spine at the last words. I stayed silent showing her that she had my full attention. She gulped avoiding eye contact.

"Everytime I close my eyes I see my family, my dad and my sister.. And I keep seeing your mom and dad... Along with you and Dean," she began. I was surprised that John and Mary were in this, but I didn't say anything.

"I keep seeing my sister happily married to.." She paused the anticipation of her answer tugging at me.

"To Dean..." I raised a brow.

"I keep seeing..." she paused again looking in a different direction.

"It's alright," I encouraged, carefully taking her hand in my own. She squeezed my hand a little.

"Us.. I keep seeing us," she said, finally. I tilted my head. Her gaze suddenly met mine in an intense stare.

"We were married Sam," she blurted, tears stinging her eyes. My own eyes widened in surprise my grip on her hand loosening.

"Oh God..." She choked. She stood up pulling away from me.

"I tried so desperately not to... but after I saw that, I can't just forget," she continued, turning to face me. I didn't move from the bed still shocked by her words.

"We were so happy Sam... and I- and I gave it up," she sobbed, turning her back to me again. I slowly stood realization hitting me. She left because of me. She had the perfect life with everything, yet she left it to come back to me.

"You begged me not to go... But I couldn't. He wasn't Sam, he was just- just a dream." Her voice cracked causing my heart to clench.

"So I-" she paused again. I took a few steps toward her. Her hands came up to rest near her collar bone.

"So I slit my throat.." My heart dropped. Dean hadn't ever told me how he managed to wake up from the trance. I suppose when you die in a dream you wake up. She turned to face me once more her head hanging low and her shoulders trembling with each sob. I came forward until I was in front of her again. I reached out and pulled her close trapping her against my chest. Her hands stayed curled between our bodies as she cried.

The feelings I had buried were surging back tenfold. Her fingers tangled into the fabric of my shirt. I continued to rub circles into her back until she relaxed her sobbing calmed down.

"What's going on?" Dean's voice suddenly called. She pulled back from me looking at Dean who stood in her doorway.

"I- I had a nightmare, that's all," she muttered. Dean's cold stare met mine.

"You okay? I know it can be rough after something like that." Dean stayed at the doorway.

"I'm fine." she defended, taking a step back. Her body brushed against mine.

"Best thing to do is to go back to sleep. Yes, you'll probably have another nightmare, but the more you sleep the faster it wears off," Dean explained.

"I can stay with you if you'd like?" Dean suggested. She turned and walked away from the two of us sitting down on her bed. I turned my back to Dean watching her.

"I don't need a babysitter," she warned, looking away from us. I glanced back to Dean who was staring daggers into my back.

"Alright, if you need anything yell." Without another word Dean left. My heart ached for her. Dean was her best friend, yet she was pushing him away. The silence in the room was overwhelming. I had so many questions and so many things I wanted to say, but when I opened my mouth all of those words stayed trapped in my throat.

"Dean's right... I should just go back to sleep," she muttered, looking down at her feet.

"You need to rest anyway, Cas said you shouldn't be up and about for a few days," I agreed.

"I- I'll let you-"

"Please don't leave me," she whined, her head shooting up to look at me. I stared at her for a moment. She'd told Dean she didn't need someone to watch her, yet she was asking me to stay.

"Please." Her voice was so soft. My mind trailed back to what Cas had said to me. He'd warned me to stay away. Screw him. As I walked back to her bed she slid further onto it making herself comfortable on her side. We'd slept in the same bed pleanty of times, but this was different. I sat on the bed leaning my back against the headboard. She moved closer almost snuggling herself against my leg. After a moment I couldn't contain myself. I slid down onto my own side facing her. She flipped the covers over me trapping our bodies under them.

"You don't- have to do this... I understand if what I told you..." She paused.

"If what you told me...?"

"Makes you uncomfortable." She thought that I didn't care about her. She thought that the feelings she had were one sided.

"No, no it doesn't." I had to reassure her. I scooted closer pulling her to me. I draped one arm over her side locking her in.

"I'm glad you told me," I murmured, catching her weary gaze.

"I know with this job, this life, we are supposed to keep the ones we love far away. We can't afford attachments... But I can't keep you away. I can't keep pretending like these feelings... These feelings don't exist," I admitted. Her eyes widened.

"You aren't the only one who has been burying things.." I finished. The silence that fell between us was comforting. Our eyes never left each others.

"Sam I-" she hesitated. I opened my mouth to question, but was stunned to silence as she suddenly moved capturing my lips with hers. Butterflies exploded in my stomach causing me to kiss back. My eyes slid closed allowing myself to take in everything. I'd wanted this for a long time. She shifted her position keeping us together as she pushed my shoulder. I followed her silent comand and rolled onto my back taking her with me. Her upper body rested on mine her arm bracing herself on my chest.

Our kiss finally broke leaving both of us breathless. I opened my eyes to look up at her. Her hair hung down over her shoulders almost touching my face. I reached up brushing a section of it behind her ear. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead causing me to lean upward into it. She moved back shifting her position until her head rested over my heart. I let one arm slide further up her back holding her close against my side. One of her hands lightly gripped the fabric of my shirt while the other took my free hand intertwining our fingers. I could've sworn I was melting under her touch. She snuggled closer causing my heart rate to flutter. She giggled tiredly her ear resting directly over my heart. "Relax Sam, I don't bite," she yawned. My cheeks turned a light shade of pink.

"You should try and sleep," I mumbled.

"I'm trying, but your voice is rumbling my entire head," she pouted. I couldn't help but chuckle. She raised her head for a moment giving me a playful glare before laying her head back down.

"Thank you for staying with me Sam.." She yawned, taking one last moment to cuddle against me.

"Anything for you," I replied, letting my own eyes slide closed.

Forever Taglist:

@rosierosieelain   @xaviersmutcnt @raindrops-on-roses142

[-undisclosed-desires]

Get to know me

Tagged by the great  @itsnotanobsessionitslove

Rules: answer 30 questions then tag 20 you’d like to get to know better.

Gender: Female

Nickname: I don’t have nicknames anymore if anything my sister still calls me Mary

Zodiac: Virgo :D

Height: 5′2

Time: 6:10 PM

Favorite bands:A.C.E, B.A.P,Block B, BTS,Calum Scott, Coldplay, Demi Lovato, Eric Chou, Exo, Ft Island, Go Radio, HAON, Holland, Hozier, Imagine Dragons, Jay Chou, Jessi, Kesha, Miguel, Miley Cyrus, Muse, NCT, Never Shout Never,Sam Smith, Shawn Mendes, Taylor Swift, TWENTY ONE PILOTS 💕💕💕💕💕Sik-K U-Kiss, VAV, Zico. my artists are in alphabetical order because I was going down my music list haha.  I more so listen to k-pop now, but from time to time I try to listen to my English songs haha

Song stuck in my head: BTS- So what

Last Movie I saw: Tunnel (Korean film on Netflix that had me shook)

Any other blogs: I have a nursing blog but I don’t use it as much because I'm not quite there yet

Do I get asks: Rarely.

Why my username: Since I left high school, I have been hiding from everyone that knows me, I'm trying not to be found so I was on my way to my university orientation and I was making a new account for everything and I was obsessed with Muse back then and I love the song Undisclosed Desires, so that's my username.

Last thing I google: I was checking if the pore cleanser I was getting at target had good reviews lol 

Following: 237

How many hours of sleep: 7-8

What am I wearing: yoga pants cause they comfortable lol and a purple shirt

Do you play any instrument: no, I was put in music class when I was in 7th grade, but then I was transferred to art.. lol so no I'm not talented

Learning any languages: I was teaching myself Korean.. and I gave up on it, twice haha. I will learn eventually. I took two years of French at Uni. I do not remember a thing haha. I am fluent in Spanish and English. 

Favorite show/s: America’s Got Talent, cooking/baking shows, Korean Dramas (if I listed all I have watched, the list would be never-ending), Jersey Shore, mm I don't know I do not really watch tv. OOh I also like Bones and Criminal Minds, Law and Order

Dream job: Nurse

Favorite color: Blue

Favorite song: Currently, my favorite song is Take me Higher by A.C.E. I play it like 20x everyday haha

How many animals: Pets in my house, far too many lol, but pets that are actually mine in 1, a black female chihuahua given to me by my ex like 6 or 7 years ago

Do you play any video games: No,  but today I bought UNO and Guess who. lol, I love board games. I currently have Cards against Humanity, That's what She said, Monopoly original, and I don't know what else. I was going to but Clue and connect 4, but I already spent too much money at Target lol 

Favorite video game: I don't play so I don't have one, however, a years ago we still had the original Super Mario games and Me and my siblings were obsessed... We accidentally wet it and it stopped working :( Also, down to play just dance but I don't think that counts as a video game, or a game in general lol

What color hair do you have: Black and blue

What grade are you in: I am starting my fourth year of college. I would be out of community college already but I took a year off due to the military. My first year I was at a private university but it got too expensive so I transferred to cc

Am I morning person: Yes definitely

Where would do I like to travel: The pyramids, Canada, Hawaii, Korea

Siblings: 2 older sisters, ME, younger brother and sister

Favorite food: Pizza and Mexican Tacos de Asada