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ratwrites · 5 years ago

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As Long As I Live

Requests.

Masterlist.

Summary: Rex's Jedi General is severely injured during battle and he refuses to leave her side

Prompt/s: As long as I live I will keep you safe. I promise.

Warnings: Major injury, angst, lots of fighting, lil bit of fluff

Pairing: Captain Rex X Reader

Word Count: 6,276

A/N: Finally finished my wip with Rex ol' boy! Since I'm rewatching the Clone Wars in honor of the new season coming out I decided to try and write my favorite Clone baby!

[[MORE]]

The gunship landed roughly down into the battlefield. Men had already been lost just during the flight down. "Get ready boys!" You yelled, over the gunfire. To your left side Rex drew his guns looking to you. You nodded your head to him before the light inside the ship flashed green.

"Let's go!" Out into the battlefield you and your men went. You spotted Obi Wan's blue lightsaber flashing in the distance. You took off toward your fellow Master your men following behind you in a blaze of blaster fire. Rex stayed hot on your heels almost at your side the entire run. You enjoyed working alongside Rex. You were allowed to move freely with him compared to other Captains'.

"Welcome to the party!" Obi Wan greeted, as you and your men reached his position. You fell to his side swinging your lightsaber to skillfully avoid the shots being fired.

"Doesn't seem like much of a party!" You reported. The droids were advancing.

"Move in!" You ordered. You and your men advanced, Kenobi and his following.

"What's the situation?" You questioned, glancing quickly at the ginger.

"We need to get those shields down otherwise we'll never get the tanks close enough to retake the base," he explained, not missing a shot. His skills definitely outranked yours. You paused looking toward the rayshielded tower. You glanced behind you seeing the tanks waiting for orders.

"We sent Waxer and Boil to try and shut the shield down, but the perimeter was well guarded," he added.

"Bombs! Take cover!" You and Kenobi dodged behind a rock as the blast went off.

"So what do you intend to do?" You asked, taking this moment to get the plan.

"I'm thinking about sending a squad to do it, but it's a risky move. I would go myself but I am needed here," he explained. Rex was at your side in moments.

"The clankers are falling back," he announced, looking over his shoulder to shoot one.

"Good Rex, keep them going back," you replied, sending your Captain a smile. He nodded before running off.

"A squad would be too obvious. The losses would be high. I will go. I'll take Captain Rex with me," you stated. You moved back out into the battle Obi Wan following.

"Are you sure?" You nodded in confirmation.

"Alright, we'll cover you. You'll need to go to the south side of the tower that's where they have the least security." You didn't say another word to the Master. You ran further into battle deflecting shots as you went. You spotted your Captain.

"Rex!" You swiftly jumped to his side deflecting a shot that would've hit him.

"Thank you General," he huffed, his attention on the battle before him.

"We're going to the south side of the tower Rex! We need to get those shields off!" you ordered. The Captain turned his head to you. You could sense his uncertainty. He bowed his head. With that the two of you departed from the main battle Cody and his men covering your escape. You slid into the planet's forest.

"What's the plan General?" Rex asked, sneaking at your side. You retracted your lightsaber holding it at your side as you moved.

"We've got to sneak in and get the shields off. Master Kenobi says that the south side is the easiest way to get in, but we'll still have to deal with some droids before then," you explained, pausing in your steps. Rex followed your lead as you crouched down. A group of super droids passed luckily not spotting the two of you.

"Waxer and Boil were no match for their defenses, hopefully having a lightsaber will even the odds," you chuckled, holding up the weapon. Rex scoffed playfully.

"You'll overpower them. Be sure to leave some for me,'" Rex teased. You two had become close over your time fighting together. His sense of humor matched yours to a T. It helped that you and Anakin got along as well so Rex was used to your Jedi shenanigans.

"Let's go." The two of you crept on slowly approaching the south end of the tower. You frowned seeing what you were up against.

"And this is the weakest point of their defense?" You groaned. Two battalions of B1 battle droids along with two tanks and and four rollers.

"The odds of us getting in don't look good sir," Rex warned, his guns now holstered at his waist. You slipped your saber away as well studying the defense.

"Someone doesn't want us getting in. Any ideas?" You sighed, looking at your Captain. He tilted his head toward you slightly.

"Isn't it your job to come up with the plan?" He joked.

"I'm fresh out of ideas Captain," you shrugged. You both looked back at the defense.

"Look!" You watched as a battalion began to march toward the main battle one of the tanks going with it.

"Our odds just improved," he grumbled.

"I think I've got a plan," you blurted. Rex's attention was on you.

"It's crazy, but I think it'll work. I'll draw their fire, see if I can lead them away into the woods. Once they're distracted that'll give you a chance to go in undetected," you spoke. Rex removed his helmet the expression hardening his face telling you that he didn't like your plan.

"That's suicide General," he scowled. You rolled your eyes.

"Everyday in this war is suicide Rex! Plus, you're the one who said I'll overpower them," you remarked, repeating his joke. His scowled deepened.

"I don't like this plan," he announced.

"You don't have to like it Rex you just need to do it."

"And what if they overrun you? Then what?" Rex asked. His concern surprised you. You were good friends, but this was the first time you'd decided on such a risky plan; this was also the first time you'd had such an Anakin Plan.

"If I am overrun then I will call for aid. I'll be fine Rex." You rested a hand on his armored shoulder. His expression lightened slightly.

"Contact me once you're in and once you're out, got it?" He nodded, his helmet returning to his head. You didn't give him the chance to argue. You lit your weapon and lunged out. You sprinted toward the droids instantly drawing their attention to you.

"Jedi! Get her!" You ran past them turning their attention away from Rex's position. You began to fight striking down any droid that got too close to you. You began to back up drawing them further away from the tower. You jumped aside as the canon began to fire as well. The rollers were staying out of the fight to your surprise. Your eyes caught Rex who was sneaking foward. You watched as he rolled a droid popper under each of the rollers disabiling them. He disappeared from sight and into the tower.

"I'm in and heading to the generator room," your com beeped. You didn't have time to properly respond. You sent him a beep letting him know you acknowledged him. You ran back further drawing them away again. Their numbers were slowly dropping the longer you fought. Your arms were starting to protest, but you didn't stop. You couldn't afford to stop. The tank fired again hitting uncomfortably close to you.

The tanks shots came more accurately with each time it hit. You took mental note that their aim normally wasn't this good. The tanks must have a new targeting system which was bad news for you. You drew them as far as they would go and held them. The tank advanced as the droid population got smaller. Your heart sank as another battalion of droids rounded the corner with their own tank.

"Come on," you groaned. You needed to get rid of the second tank. You jumped aside again the heat from the blast sending a shiver throughout your body. Your senses were being overwhelmed as the new battalion began to fire from a different angle. You ran forward into the second battalion taking them head on. You swiftly got to the tank leaping onto the base. You hurtled to the top cutting it open. You dropped inside destroying the droids. You sliced your saber through the controls. You exited the tank rolling away as it burst into flames the explosion destroying some of the nearby droids. The shield began to lift.

"Yes! He got it!" You cheered. Your happiness was cut short as a blaster shot grazed your arm knocking you to your knees. You had little time to recover as the tank fired almost hitting you. You barely managed to roll away. Pain shot up and down your arm causing a groan to leave your lips. You kept fighting the droids closing in. You began to moved back toward the woods.

"I'm out!" Your com echoed. Your eyes went to the base. Rex was fighting his way out, but he was in view. You trudged toward Rex taking out whatever droids got too close.

"Come on Rex!" You yelled, over the fire. The Captain eventually made it to your side.

"Your arm!" He called, his back pressing against yours as the droids surrounded you in a half circle.

"Not now Rex!" You snapped. Now that he was at your side his life was your top priority.

Your senses screamed at you. "Watch out!"

Rex made it into the tower. It was surprisingly dark and quiet compared to the fighting outside. He wanted to get back to her as quickly as possible. "I'm in and heading to the generator room." The com light beeped green signalling that she'd heard him. He drew his blasters and crouched low slinking through the shadows. He'd studied the tower's schematics before they'd left for the reinforcement mission.

He rounded a corner quickly dodging back behind it as a set of commando droids passed him. His blasters were against his chest. He inhaled deeply and exhaled it before dipping out into the hallway. He made quick work of finding the generator room. He slipped inside silently taking out the two droids inside. He dragged them aside placing them out of the way. He moved to the control panel. He swiftly began to deactivate the shield keeping his ears peeled for incoming droids. "Yes!" He silently cheered, as the panel wirred signalling that the shield was down. He needed to get back to her. He took off out of the room and back down toward where he'd come in. He cursed as the commando droids were waiting near his exit. He fired at one striking it down. The other jumped into action.

Rex fired at the droid unhappy that it dodged his blaster. The droid made quick work of disarming him. He fought hand to hand with the droid only for it to knock him onto his back. He rolled away from it's attack reclaiming one of his blasters. He rolled onto his back as the droid pounced. With one shot it collapsed. He collected his other blaster and got back on his feet. An explosion outside sent Rex into a panic. He bolted for his exit only to be greeted with a group of droids.

"I'm out!" He signalled joining her fight. Some of the droids turned to face him. He had no cover, but he had every intention of getting to her side.

"Come on Rex!" She was fighting her way toward him. The closer he got the sooner he realized that she was injured. A part of her sleeve had been burned away revealing a nasty graze across her upper arm. Once at her side they moved into a defensive position placing their backs together.

"Your arm!" He pointed.

"Not now Rex!" The lack of concern for her injury upset him a little. All he wanted in this moment was for her to be safe. The fighting continued.

"Watch out!" Without warning Rex was off of his feet and thrown. He rolled as he hit the ground quickly recovering to see why he'd been thrown. His world moved in slow motion as the tank fired. Horror flooded into him as the shot hit its mark sending his General, his friend, flying backwards. Her body roughly struck the ground her lightsaber leaving her hand. She laid on her stomach her Jedi attire singed. He screamed her name, but she didn't budge. Rex got to his feet and ran to her his world still rolling in slow motion. His gut clenched in fear the closer he got. He didn't have time to check for life signed. He had to assume she was alive and protect her. He refused to believe she was dead.

His world returned as he positioned himself in front of her. He was no match for these droids. "This is Captain Rex! (F/N) is down! I repeat (F/N) is down!" He bellowed over his com. He lost all formality in this moment. He didn't have time for it. Rex's eyes spotted her lightsaber a few paces from his foot. He hesitated. He'd never fought with a lightsaber, it was forbidden for him to fight with a Jedi's weapon. He put rules aside. He had to protect her. He put his blasters in their holsters and retrieved the sacred weapon. He fell back to her. Rex took a stance above her planting each foot on their aide of her limp body. He ignited the blade it's bright color standing out in the fight.

He began to deflect the blasts his hands tingling against the hilt. It was as if the blade was using him to fight inside of him using it. The energy from the blade was strong and familiar. It was her blade after all. Hr didn't fight the pull of the blade deflecting any blaster shots that dared to hit her. His attention turned to the tank as it fired. With one swift move of his arms he deflected the blast to his own surprise. He kept going. The rage and fear in him fueled his every move. There had only been one other time he could recall where he'd been so angry and afraid and that was a night he didn't want to remember.

"Captain Rex!" Obi Wan leapt over him and into the battle. His brothers appeared at his sides helping defend his fallen Jedi. Cody passed him following Obi Wan. He hadn't realized that he'd been holding his breath until Obi Wan destroyed the tank. Eventually the droids were defeated. Another battle could be heard. He slowly stepped off of her as Obi Wan approached him. The lightsaber remained ignited in his grasp until the General cast him a cock of his brow. He closed the blade keeping the hilt in his hand.

"What happened?" Obi Wan asked, rolling her carefully onto her back.

"Tank got her.." Rex muttered, his voice shaking slightly.

"Well, she is alive, but barely. Cody contact Master Plo and tell him we need a medical transport now," he ordered. Cody nodded taking a few steps back before turning on his com. Obi Wan continued to check her over for a moment before standing up.

"You did well Rex," he praised, resting a hand on his shoulder. He gave the armor a squeeze. Obi Wan began to walk away.

"General!" He called. The Jedi faced him. He silently held the weapon up.

"Hold onto it Rex. I'm sure that's what she'd want." He nodded and hooked the weapon to his belt. He slowly moved back to her dropping onto his knees next to her. He removed his helmet setting it on the ground. Her face was burned along with most of her body. He wasn't even sure how she was still alive, but he was beyond grateful.

"Hang on (F/N).. Just hang out," he muttered, his voice breaking. He couldn't lose her. Another hand on his shoulder made him jump. He looked up at his brother, Fives offering him a reassuring smile.

"She'll be alright Rex, she's tougher than she looks," Fives soothed. He looked away from Fives and back to her.

Rex helped load her onto the medical transport along with Fives and General Plo. "We'll take her to the medical station. She'll get the proper care she needs," Plo assured. Rex didn't budge from the transport.

"I- I can't leave her," Rex stated, staying by her side.

"Captain Rex you are needed in battle, I assure you Master Fisto will take care of her," Master Plo offered.

"With all do respect sir, she is more important than this battle. I am not leaving my General now," he defended. Master Plo was stunned to silence. Fives rested a hand on his shoulder again.

"We'll save some clankers for when you return," he promised.

"Very well then..." Fives left the ship leaving Rex behind. He didn't want to leave his brother's but her life seemed more important in this moment. He cared deeply for her and his brother's knew that.

Rex paced back and forth in front of the medical bay. Once they arrived at the station she'd been rushed off to the emergency wing. He'd been directed to a different room and stripped down to his blacks. One of his brothers tended to the minor injuries he hadn't even realized that he'd received. Once he had been patched up he had gone in search of her which led him to the room he paced in front of. The red light glowed above the door signalling that Master Fisto anf the others were still working. His attention snapped to the door as the light flickered green.

Master Fisto stepped out. "How is she?" He pressed, trying to look past the Jedi only for the door to slid shut.

"She'll be fine Captain. You got her here just in the nick of time. If she had gone any longer without a Bacta tank her burns would've killed her," Kit explained calmly. A relieved sigh left the clone's lips.

"It should only take her a few days or so to heal enough to where she can be taken out of the tank, but she won't be returning to the line of duty until I clear her," he added, placing his arms neatly behind his back. Rex nodded. He didn't care much for the details, he just wanted to see her. Master Fisto smiled gently obviously picking up on that. Without another word he stepped back into the room allowing Rex to follow.

"Come." With one word the staff in the room left leaving him alone with her.

His eyes scanned across her body taking in her appearance. A white cloth had been wrapped around her chest to cover her breasts while another wrapped nearly around her waist and thighs to cover her bottom. The burns across her skin made him cringe. He'd seen much worse, but seeing such injuries on her almost made him sick to his stomach. He sat on a white bench in front of the tank looking up at her. Guilt twisted in his gut. It should've been him. She shouldn't have risked her life for his and he intended to tell her that as soon as he got the chance. He let out a heavy sigh resting his elbows on his knees. His head fell allowing his back to hunch. He looked up at her again. Her face was peaceful in the tank. The breathing apparatus in her mouth caused her chest to rise and fall steadily telling Rex that she was in fact alive.

Rex spent the next few days helping out around the medical station. Master Fisto had tried to get him back into the field with no avail. Rex adopted his stubbornness from his Jedi General's, especially her. He'd always thought that Anakin was stubborn, but not half as stubborn as her. He had attended a few medical missions to the battlefields, but never stayed to fight.

He walked down the medical halls bowing his head respectfully to a passing Kaminoan. He'd just returned from a supply run and desperately wanted out of his armor. He returned to his temporary quarters which was cozier than his barracks. Once the door slid shut behind him he began to detach his armor until he was back down to his blacks. He quite enjoyed a break from his tight and heavy armor. He hung each piece up on a stand the station had lended to him.

His stomach growled quietly demanding that he eat something. He huffed and made his way out of the room and back down the hall he'd just come from. Instead of going to the docking bay he veered off in the opposite direction where he would find the mess hall. "Captain Rex!" One of his brother's drew his steps to a halt.

"Yes Shore?" he asked, turning to face the medical clone. He'd learned most of their names over the few days.

"Master Fisto wanted me to inform you that Master (L/N) has been removed from the bacta tank and has been taken to patient room 756," he informed. Rex's breath caught in his throat.

"Uh, thank you!" Before his brother had a chance to stop him he took off.

He arrived outside the room a lot faster than he thought he would. Calming himself he stepped toward the door and inside the room once it slid open. She laid on a white cot a blanket covering most of her body. He approached the cot. She seemed to be sleeping and he had no intentions on waking her. Quietly he grabbed one of the white chairs from the room and placed it next to the soft cot. He sat down leaning back in it. He would wait for her to wake up.

His stomach growled at him again reminding him of his hunger. He ignored it pushing the desire to eat down.

Rex had changed his position resting his arms on the cot. His head and fallen against his arms while one of his hands found her nearest one taking it gently into his large grip. Her skin was still a scarred in some places and probably would be for a while. Sleep had almost taken him until she shifted. He raised his head only to be met with her groggy gaze. "Rex?" She rasped, her voice hoarse. He smiled widely his heart skipping a beat at the sound of his name.

"How are you feeling?" he asked. She shifted a little more letting out a cough.

"Thirsty and tired," she chuckled, coughing again. He stood up and wandered to the door. To his luck a medical droid was walking past.

"Can you get some water up here please?"

"Certainly." The droid wandered off. He returned to his seat.

"So, you're welcome," she said, suddenly. A playful smile crossed her beautiful lips. Rex frowned.

"You shouldn't have done that. You could've been killed," he scolded. He hadn't forgotten that he intended to give her a piece of his mind.

"But I wasn't," she pointed, trying to keep the mood light.

"But you could've been," he reported, hotly.

"Yeah well, you could've died too," she countered. Rex's frown deepened his brows drawing together.

"I'm a clone, I'm meant to he expendable. You're not, you're a Jedi," he stated.

"Not to me you're not- your safety was- was much more important than my own." Her words silenced him.

"I wasn't going to let you die," she added, holding his gaze. The door opened revealing the medical droid with a glass of water. Rex stood and retrieved the water dismissing the droid. He brought her the water carefully sitting her up so she could drink. He aided her sips his hand on the bottom of the glass tipping it up. After the glass was empty he set it aside before sitting back down.

"It was reckless of you," he began, again. She scoffed rolling her eyes.

"Reckless is what I do Rex," she reported, her voice a little better.

"And it is my job to protect you. I can't do that when you're shoving me out of the way and taking the hit yourself," he growled.

"Well I decided to do your job. I couldn't let my best Captain die and that's that," she snapped. Rex fell silent again. He took a moment to take in her appearance again. She was perfect in every way. Rex could find no flaws on her. They'd changed her into a white tank top and pair of loose white medical pants. She looked away from him and up at the ceiling.

"You know, I don't think I've ever seen you without your armor on before," she blurted, randomly. Her gaze fell back to his. His hard expression softened toward her a small smile daring to tug at the corners of his lips. He ran a hand to his neck rubbing it.

"Didn't see the need of wearing it around the station all the time," he explained. She squinted at him.

"How long have you been here?" She asked.

"Since we brought you here."

"And when was that?"

"Five days ago..." Rex muttered. She gasped.

"Rex! Don't tell me you've skipped out on your duty to be here," she pleaded.

"Fine, then I won't tell you," he replied, helping lighten the mood. She shot him a glare.

"The Council isn't going to be happy about that, neither is the Senate." She shifted into a more comfortable position.

"I don't care what they think, I couldn't leave you," he admitted, shamelessly. He hadn't realized that he'd taken hold of her hand again until she squeezed his lightly. He retracted his hand a blush forming on his cheeks. She giggled.

"I don't mind Captain.. I was quite enjoying it," she murmured. She offered her hand back out to him. Hesitantly he took it again the blush on his cheeks deepening as she intertwined her small fingers with his. Her skin was soft in his grasp; the contact caused his own skin to tingle. The smile that graced her face was one of kindness.

"Tell me Rex, what is real reason why you stayed with me?" she asked. Rex didn't respond right away. At first he wasn't sure what she was implying, but then it dawned on him. She was a Jedi after all and could probably sense the love and adoration that was washing through him.

"I-" he hesitated, her hand squeezing his in assurance.

"I couldn't leave you.. I couldn't leave knowing that you may not have survived," he sighed, looking away from her.

"It is my job to keep you safe and I felt as if I failed you... I still do," he revealed. She tugged on his hand drawing his eyes back to her.

"You haven't failed me Rex. From what Master Fisto told me if it wasn't for you I would be dead," she murmured.

"You saved my life Rex and I am forever thankful for that." Her thumb stroked the side of his hand illiciting a content shiver from him. No one had ever treated him like she was in this moment. Even the smallest amount of affection was foreign to him, but welcomed.

"And you saved mine General," he reported. She let out a quiet laugh.

"(F/N), please, we aren't on a battlefield my friend." Her smile grew. She began to shift letting go of his hand to cast the covers aside.

"(F/N), what are you doing?" he questioned, sitting up in his chair. Her name rolled wonderfully off of his tongue. He'd said her name before, but not casually as he was now.

"I wish to stand, my legs are screaming for movement," she chuckled. Carefully she slipped her legs off of the edge of the cot. Rex stood to his feet coming to stand at her side.

"I don't know if you should be up and about so soon," he warned. She waved him off. She began to push herself off of the cot. Rex moved into action taking her arm into his hands. His hold was light, but sturdy enough to keep her on her feet. She leaned her weight against Rex letting out a pained sigh as she began to walk. He stayed with her moving at her pace. His focus was on her.

"This hurts," she groaned, pressing against him a little more. Her hand found Rex's giving it a tight squeeze. He didn't like seeing her in pain.

"You should sit. I highly doubt General Fisto wanted you up and about so soon," he alerted. She nodded in agreement. Rex helped her back to the cot gently lowering her down. He released her and tried to step back only for her to tug him down onto the cot. He plopped down next to her with a surprised grunt drawing a giggle from the Jedi.

"Stay with me?" She asked, resting her head on his shoulder. He could've sworn his heart grew two sizes in his chest. The content happiness flowing over him was almost overwhelming.

"Always," he replied, resting his head on hers. He'd never shared a moment like this with anyone. It was a simple gesture, but one that he would remember for the rest of his life.

"(F/N)?" He brought his head back up. She did as well glancing up at him. She tilted her head in a silent question.

"As long as I live I will keep you safe. I promise," he declared, straightening his posture. She rested her head on his shoulder again drawing him back down into a comfortable slouch.

"The same goes for you Rex don't you dare think for a second that you are only meant to fight and die. There is more to your life than that Rex.. You are worth more to me." His head found hers again. Every instinct in his body told him to take his chance and show her just how much he cared, but he didn't. She was still a Jedi and even their position now could be considered a violation of her code. It was clear that she was attached to him just as he was to her. His stomach growled lightly reminding him that he still hadn't eaten all day.

"Why don't you run to the mess hall and eat? I'll be here when you're done, I promise," she sniggered. He rolled his eyes as she fled her comfortable position on his shoulder.

"Do you want me to bring you anything? You haven't eaten in a while either," he stated. She nodded her head vigorously.

"Food sounds delightful!" She chirped.

"Then I will return." He stood up from the bed standing in front of her for a moment. He hesitated, but pushed his worry aside. He leaned down placing a hand on the back of her neck. She leaned into him as he placed a tender kiss into her hair. He'd never actually kissed anyone before contrary to his legion's beliefs. She hummed in content as he parted from her and quickly made his exit.

She'd spent two more weeks at the medical station until she was finally cleared to return to the war. Rex entered her quarters just in time to watch her finish dressing herself in her Jedi robes. She looked over her shoulder smiling at him. He held his helmet against his hip as she approached him. "Captain," she greeted, reaching up to press a feathery kiss against his cheek. His face warmed up as he smiled down at her.

"General," he replied. He ran his hazel gaze over her taking in her stunning appearance. His eyes eventually landed on her upper arm guilt still fresh in his mind.

"Hey, you've got that face, what's bothering you?" she demanded, kindly.

"What face?" He asked.

"The face that tells me you're thinking about something you shouldn't be," she replied, playfully.

"I have a face?" He questioned, sending her a puzzled cock of his brow.

"Yes, you do, now out with it soldier," she teased, pushing his chest armor lightly.

"I was just thinking about- about that day.." He looked down at their feet.

"Hey, look at me," she ordered. He did as he was told his stare locking with hers.

"That's in the past. We both survived and we are both well that's all that matters," she soothed, reaching up to gently stroke his cheek. He leaned into her touch letting his eyes fall closed briefly.

"And what's this?" He opened his eyes once her touch left him. Her eyes now rested on the lightsaber attached to his belt.

"I- I've been looking after it since... Since..." He cut himself off and unhooked it from his belt. He offered it out to her. She carefully took the weapon from his hands attaching it to her own belt.

"Thank you Rex," she murmured. The tension between them slowly brought them closer together. Rex's heart was racing in his chest, but their moment was cut short. He pulled back from her as Master Fisto entered the room.

"Your cruiser is waiting for you," he announced, coolly.

"Thank you Master," she bowed. They followed the older Jedi out of the room and down to the docking platform. They boarded the ship only to be greeted by a large group of clones.

"Fives, Kix, Dogma, Jesse, Hardcase, Appo, Echo, Tup! What are you all doing here?" she beamed, hugging each one of them.

"We heard you were bring released so we wanted to see our General back into battle!" Fives squeaked. They all stood proudly around her each one just as happy to see her as she was to see them.

"I don't know what I would do without you boys," she gushed.

"Crash and burn, obviously," Kix responded. Rex shot him a warning glare, but she waved it off accepting the joke with a hearty laugh. Kix hadn't been with them during the incident. He'd been assigned to a different mission alongside Anakin and a few other members of the 501st, but when he heard what had happen he was distrot just like the rest of the men.

"Ready to go?" Obi Wan ruined the moment stepping into view.

"Master Kenobi!" She smiled, walking to greet him.

"Welcome back Master (L/N)," he acknowledged. She followed him to the bridge her men following behind her.

"So, how was medical duty?" Tup teased, elbowing Rex.

"Not bad, it was definitely a nice break from all the fighting," he replied.

"Did you two..." Hardcase wiggled a brow at him. His face heated up.

"Come on Hardcase cut him some slack! He's obviously been struggling to woo the Jedi," Fives chortled.

"Fives!" Rex squawked, punching his shoulder. The men laughed as they stepped onto the bridge.

"We'll be taking you to Felucia where you will be aiding Master Skywalker in a skirmish," Obi Wan explained, to the troops. They all silenced and listened as the General explained the mission. Once he was finished he dismissed them from the bridge, but none of them left. She smiled at them leaving Obi Wan's side to join the company.

"Come, we should ready the gunships," she suggested. Their group went down to the cargo bay where three gunships rested. They were greeted with more of the 501st. Rex watched as more hugs were passed out between her and the other clones. Jealousy crept into his mind, but he pushed it aside. They all began to ready the ships each clone talking excitedly to one another. His eyes were trained on her as she wandered around the three ships overseeing their work. She occasionally stopped to speak to some of the clones sharing laughs with them. It was good to be back around his brothers.

"Ready to get back into battle?" Appo asked, nudging the Captain.

"Definitely, I've been looking forward to those clankers Fives promised me," he exclaimed, catching Fives' attention.

"In honor of our missing Captain we'll let you be the first out into the fight," Fives boomed. Cheers rang up from the clones nearby.

"Of course we'll let General (F/N), run out at your side," Jesse teased.

"I'd be disappointed if you didn't." Her voice drew their attention. Jesse looked away embarrassed drawing more laughter from him and his men.

"It really is good to have you both back," Echo sighed, resting a hand on each of their shoulders.

"It's good to be back Echo."

"We've come out of hyperspace and are taking you in now," Obi Wan spoke, through her com.

"Get ready boys! We're shipping out!" She called. The troops loaded themselves into their ships. After a few moments the ships jerked signalling that they'd taken off. The longer they were in flight the more of the battle they could hear.

"Here we go boys! Helmets on!" Appo ordered. Those who didn't have their helmets on began to put them on. Rex looked down at her readying himself to attach his helmet.

"Here's for luck!" she announced. She pulled Rex down by his armor pressing her lips against his own. Butterflies exploded in his stomach at the sensation. The clones hooped and hollered each one getting hyped and even more excited. Once the kiss ended he stood dazed for a moment unsure if he was dreaming or not. The light flashed green. Rex drew himself back to reality and put it helmet on. He unloaded with his men staying right at her side. With the ignition of her blade their squad propelled themselves into battle and he fought at her side until the job was done.

Forever Taglist:

@morrioghainfae @xaviersmutcnt @raindrops-on-roses142

#star wars x reader #star wars #star wars clone wars #clone wars #the clone wars #clone troopers #ct 7567 #captain rex #captain rex x reader

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ratwrites · 5 years ago

Text

Truths Be Told

Requests.

Masterlist.

Summary: You can have premonitions. You've always had them ever since you were a Padawan. After joining the Ghost Crew you stopped having them as often as you normally did. You have one and Kanan comes to comfort you.

Warnings: Angst, angst, did I mention angst?

Pairing: Kanan Jarrus X Reader

Word Count: 3,842

A/N: I have no idea where this came from but here we go lmao. I just kinda rolled with it honestly. Also please excuse the bad quality of my writing. I'm currently trying to force myself out of writers block.

[[MORE]]

You crept next to Ezra your hand resting over the lightsaber on your belt. You accompanied the Padawan to Batonn for a quick information pickup. The transaction had gone sideways quite fast. Your eyes scanned the area your senses on high alert. You grabbed Ezra and pulled him into an alley. Silently the two of you watched as a group of Stormtroopers past their guns raised and ready to fire. "We've got to get back to the Phantom," you whispered, urgently. Ezra nodded in agreement.

Once the troopers passed you snuck back out. "Clear," you waved. You and Ezra took off in a run back toward the landing platform where you'd left Chopper and the Phantom. Your head began to ache lightly causing your pace to slow.

"You okay?" Ezra questioned, falling back to your side. You were exposed, but your surroundings seemed to mean nothing.

"Fine.." You muttered, touching your temple.

"You there! Freeze!" You whipped around to face another group of Troopers.

"Run!" You yelled. You put the pain behind you and ran. You drew your lightsaber igniting the blade. You froze and turned deflecting the blaster fire that came toward you. Ezra joined you slowly backing up toward the Phantom. The pain split through your head your vision going dark for a moment. A pair of gold eyes flashed before you startling you. You were drawn out of the darkness as a blaster shot skimmed your arm burning you. You cried out and fell back.

"(F/N)!" Ezra pulled you to your feet dragging you to the Phantom.

"Chopper! Get us out of here!" he ordered, once inside the ship. Chopper did as he was told.

"You okay? What happened?" He questioned, as you sat down. Your hand hovered over the burn.

"I- I don't know," you groaned, as Ezra rolled the sleeve of your uniform up. He hurried away returning with a first aid kit. He opened it and began to treat the burn. You inhaled sharply.

"You went rigid out there," Ezra explained, bandaging your arm.

"I saw something Ezra," you admitted. He tilted his head.

"I saw a pair of golden eyes.. They didn't look human," you explained, wearily.

"Was it is a vision?" He asked. Ever since you were young you'd had premonitions. The older you got the more frequent you had them, but when you joined the Rebels they seemed to decrease. You'd had very few since joining the Ghost Crew, but the ones you had were right.

"Maybe, I'm not sure," you sighed, carefully rolling your sleeve back down. Ezra frowned.

"Spectre 4, Spectre 6 come in," Hera's voice sounded from the cockpit. You stood and followed Ezra into the cockpit.

"This is Spectre 4, we hear you Spectre 2," you answered, pressing the com on. You took your place in the copilot seat letting Ezra fly.

"Did you get the information?" She asked.

"No.. We were overrun. They knew we were coming," you sighed, sending Ezra a sad look. The hesitation in a reply told you that Hera wasn't happy, which was understandable.

"Alright, return to base if you aren't already on your way. We'll figure something out," she ordered.

"Will do, Spectre 4 out." You leaned back in your seat your arm burning.

"Kanan's not gonna like this," Ezra grumbled.

"None of them are. That information was valuable to our cause. The loss of it could damage us severely," you agreed. The rest of the ride was silent.

You stepped out of the Phantom and into the Ghost. The two of you made your way down through the ship and out onto the Rebel base. The rest of the crew was waiting on you. Kanan's eyes met yours quickly falling to your arm.

"What happened?" He poked, coming to greet you. Ezra followed Hera, Zeb, and Sabine to report the mission.

"Blaster. One of the troopers grazed me," you responded, turning your arm toward him slightly. He frowned down at you.

"It's nothing. I've had worse injuries," you stated, trying to lighten the stare you were under.

"I'm worried for you (F/N). You've been getting reckless," he informed, folding his arms across his chest.

"Excuse me? I'm doing just fine," you reported. You were older than Kanan by two years. You'd spent most of your Padawan training on the front lines of the Clone Was along with your Master. Kanan cocked a brow at your claim.

"Plus I- I saw something," you added, hesitantly. His brow raised a little higher.

"I saw a pair of golden eyes. I'm not sure what they meant, but it wasn't anything good," you hurried. The doubt wafting off of him made you uneasy.

"I'm sure it's nothing (F/N)," Kanan spoke, breaking the silence. He always said that.

"Kanan- I think it might be another vision. This isn't the first time I've seen these golden eyes.. It is the first time I've seen them while awake, but still," you tried, taking a step closer to him. He shook his head.

"I doubt it was a vision (F/N), probably just the stress of fighting," he huffed. He always denied it. He did the same to Ezra as well. Anger boiled in you.

"Whatever, I don't know why I bothered," you growled. You shouldered past the bigger Jedi only for him to grab your uninjured arm pulling you to halt. You whipped around shooting daggers toward him.

"You should go get your arm looked at, make sure it isn't anything serious," he suggested, his expression softening.

"Ezra patched me up just fine," you reported, pulling your grasp from his gloved hand.

"If you'll excuse me, I need to go report the mission with the others." You didn't give him a chance as you hurried away. Anger still resided within you, but you did your best to rid yourself of it.

The report went smoothly. You left as they began to plan a new mission. Kanan had been summoned to join the planning. Since you weren't involved you decided to take your leave. Your head was pounding. You rubbed your temple as you trudged along. You walked onto the Ghost finding your way to your quarters. You slipped onto your bunk leaning your back against the wall. You rubbed your temples again closing your eyes. A low growl startled you causing your eyes to shoot open again. Your vision was black as the gold eyes returned. The pupils were narrowed toward you another low growl piercing your ears.

You forced yourself to look away your vision returning. Your heart was racing. You shook your head the golden eyes remaining in your mind. You wanted to know what they meant. You crossed your legs resting your hands on your knees. You closed your eyes again clearing your mind. You sank into the force silently asking it to guide you. The gold eyes returned this time with a set of teeth. The animal bared it's sharp fangs letting out a threatening snarl.

The sound sent you into a panic, but you stayed in your meditation determined to figure out what it was. The eyes disappeared as a white flash filled your gaze. A red flash followed it. A scream echoed in your ears startling you out of your meditation. A squeak left your lips as you jumped out of your meditation position. You slid off of the bunk and began to pace trying to calm yourself. You'd meditated to help you understand, but now you were more confused than before. You clasped your hands behind your back your eyes cast to the floor as you paced. The scream and growl filled your mind.

You let out a frustrated groan trying to clear your mind. You needed to walk. You vacated the Ghost. You walked toward the edge of the base scooping up one of the sensor beacons. You began your trek from the base desperate to clear your mind.

You returned as the sun finished setting. You placed the beacon back in it's place. "(F/N)!" Ezra's voice drew your attention toward the Ghost. The Padawan ran to meet you halfway.

"Kanan's been looking for you," he said, out of breath. You tilted your head as he took a minute to catch his breath.

"Why?" You asked.

"I don't know. He just said he wanted to talk to you," Ezra answered. You huffed.

"Where is he?" Ezra pointed toward the Ghost. Ezra looked behind you as one of the krykna approached the beacon quickly diverting its path. You let out a heavy sigh.

"Thank you Ezra." You followed him back to the Ghost stepping into the ship. Kanan's eyes met yours as soon as you entered the common room. Ahsoka and Rex were seated with the Ghost company. Kanan opened his mouth to speak, but Sabine cut him off.

"(F/N)! Wanna see my new design?" You asked, jumping up from her seat. You put on a smile. You loved Sabine's art.

"I'd love to!" You followed the Mandalorian to her room. Once the door closed she pointed to a new painting on the wall.

"Kanan isn't happy. I figured you would want an escape," she spoke, backing out of your way. You looked at the painting taking in each detail. It was amazing.

"Thank you Sabine," you answered, reaching out to gently trace one of the pieces of the painting.

"This is wonderful Sabine! You get better which each painting you make," you praised, turning to face the Mandalorian. She bowed her head.

"Thanks. Sadly, I'm running out of room so I can't paint as much as I want to," she sighed. You offered her another smile resting your hand on her shoulder.

"You can paint in mine if you'd like!" You offered. She lit up.

"Really? I mean- are you sure?"

"Sabine, I'd love it if you blessed my room with your paintings," you assured, giving her shoulder a squeeze. She smiled widely. You followed her back out of her room and back into the main room of the ship. Kanan's eyes met yours again, but you looked away from him.

"Good to see you again Ahsoka, Rex," you greeted. You'd fought alongside the two of them in the Clone Wars. Rex had saved your young life far too many times for you to remember. They both bowed their heads in response.

"You sure you don't want me to come along for this one? Things could get dangerous," Rex began, looking toward the three Jedi.

"It's always dangerous Rex, plus, this is something that we need to do," Ezra butted, before Ahsoka could get her word.

"Malachor is no place for a Clone. It is barely a place for a Jedi," Kanan added. You'd heard of Malachor before.

"You're going to Malachor?" You gasped, sitting down next to Zeb. Ezra nodded in confirmation.

"We need to get the whatever is there before anyone else can," Ezra added.

"Why wasn't I briefed on this?" You asked, curiously.

"Mainly because you were preoccupied with your vacation away from the base," Kanan snarked.

"You are sitting this one out (F/N). I want you healed up before you go on anymore missions," Hera explained, properly.

"It's just a scratch. This is a serious mission! Malachor is a dangerous place for Jedi," you yelped, sitting forward in your seat. Hera shook her head.

"I need you here. Ahsoka, Kanan, and Ezra are going. I need at least one of you here," Hera countered. You didn't like this one bit.

"It's okay soldier, we've got better things to do," Rex stated, trying to lighten the mood. You sighed and shook your head.

"Malachor isn't meant for Jedi," you stated.

"You're right. None of you should be going, but I trust Ezra and whatever is on that planet will be valuable to us," Hera spoke.

"Now then, I say we should all get some rest. Even for us we've got a big day ahead of us," Hera ordered. Everyone nodded and stood up. You stayed seated watching as Ahsoka and Rex left the ship. The other retreated to their quarters leaving you alone with Kanan. His stare made your skin tingle.

"If you've got something to say Kanan say it," you spoke, breaking the silence. You looked up at him. His back was leaned against the wall one foot propped back against it as well. His arms were crossed over chest.

"Where'd you go?" he asked.

"For a walk. I didn't realize I had to report every single thing I do to you," you grumbled. His frown deepened drawing his brows together.

"You act like this is a game (F/N). You can't just wander off," he scolded.

"Me? I act like this is a game? You have no room to talk Kanan. You think I'm reckless? I've seen you make some stupid decisions recently," you snapped, standing to your feet. He pushed off of the wall his arms falling to his sides.

"I needed to clear my head and that wasn't going to happen when I was surrounded by Loth Cats," you added, hotly. You meant no offense to the others, but it got your point across. Kanan did say anything.

"Not that you care but I've been having the same vision for months and I wanted to find out what it meant," you added. His expression seemed to soften.

"Yeah I know you don't think it's a vision, but I do. This isn't the first time I've had a premonition and you should know that." You turned your back to him.

"(F/N)..." He tried.

"Don't bother Kanan. Have fun on your mission tomorrow." You trudged to your quarters the door sliding closed behind you. Ever since Ezra had come along Kanan had changed. You didn't blame Ezra for this change, but keeping a Padawan definitely stressed him out. Kanan hadn't even finished his training when his Master died. Your Master had survived Order 66 allowing you to complete your training. By the time you were twenty to were a Master. Once you were a Master your Master disappeared leaving you on your own.

You plopped down on your bunk resting your head in your hands. Your attachment toward Kanan had been strong until recently. He'd become more irritable with you than usual. You two had always butted heads, but this was different. It was almost as if he saw you as a threat to his training of Ezra. You did help the boy in some ways, but you did not want a Padawan.

You shook your head and slid onto the bunk fully. You laid on your side and closed your eyes. Sleep came quickly.

The temple towered over the dark terrain. You stood on a platform near the temple's top a set of steep stairs leading to the top. "I sent Ezra ahead," a stranger spoke. You turned your gaze from the top of the temple. Kanan and Ahsoka stood with a stranger. You'd never seen him before, but his presence was shrowded in the darkside. They spoke more words that you couldn't make out. A red blast drew your attention back to the temple. Energy shot into the sky.

"Ezra!" Darkness surrounded your vision. A blinding white light flashed sending a sheering pain across your face. A red blaze followed adding to the pain. You cried out your voice not your own. Your knees hit the ground your hand coming to your face. The pain burned under your touch.

"Kanan!" Rage and adrenaline boiled in your veins canceling out the pain. Your vision darkened once more. Another low growl pierced your ears startling you. Kanan flashed before. He was on the ground his arm rubbing his eyes. Fear took hold of you. You tried to call you to him, but the image changed. He stood before you a mask covering his face.

Slowly hands removed the hard green mask. His scarred face and blank eyes frightened you. You tried to scream again, but nothing left you. A white beast came behind him it's golden eyes burning through your soul. It let out a piercing snarl it's mouth opening in a snarl. Everything faded to darkness leaving the beast. It let out another snarl. It approached you. You tried to back up, but couldn't move. Without warning the wolf lunged it's golden eyes turning white.

"Kanan!" You shot upright with a scream the Ghost filling in around you. Your blankets had been throw in the floor. Sweat dripped down your face your heart pounding against your ribs.

"Easy." You jumped pushing yourself back against the wall. You hadn't realized a presence next to you until he spoke.

"K- Kanan?" You whimpered, your body shaking in terror.

"I'm here, you're okay," he soothed. He was sitting on the edge of your bunk concern drowning in his teal gaze. You lunged forward wrapping your arms around his neck burying your face against him. He grunted using one hand to brace himself. After a moment his hands slid around you gently.

"I was so scared..." You whined, slowly letting go of him. You moved on the bunk sitting next to him. Your feet touched the cold floor.

"You were crying out through the force. The disturbance woke Ezra and myself," he explained, his voice low from sleep.

"I- I'm sorry..." He took your hand into his own giving it a squeeze.

"There is no need for you to apologize," he assured. You leaned against him content when his arm slid around your shoulders.

"Kanan... You can't go to Malachor," you said, suddenly. He pushed you back a bit to look at you.

"What are you talking about?" He asked, calmly.

"I- I saw.." You choked, the vision playing through your head again. He pulled you back to him resting his head on your own. The action was comforting.

"I saw Malachor.. The temple.." You began, your voice shaking.

"I saw you and Ahsoka... You weren't alone.." You cut yourself off again, pressing your face against his shoulder.

"Hey, it's okay. It was probably just a bad dream," he tried. You pulled away from him standing up.

"No! Kanan it wasn't just a dream!" You snapped.

"He attacked you Kanan. He-" You turned your back to Kanan.

"He blinded you..." You breathed, your voice breaking. You heard the bed shift behind you.

"I could feel your pain.. your fear.. Your rage.." Tears dared to spring onto your cheeks. Kanan's hands rested on your shoulders turning you to face him. You looked up at him only to find those white eyed staring back to you. You squeaked in terror, tears pooling out onto your cheeks. He pulled you in wrapping his arms around your shoulders. You buried yourself against his clothed chest gripping his shirt.

"The wolf.. I saw the wolf," you added, shakily.

"What wolf?" He asked, keeping you trapped against him. His chin resting on your head.

"The wolf with the golden eyes.. It attacked me," you explained, hesitantly. The image flashed before you again. The gold eyes turned white.

"Please Kanan you cannot go to Malachor," you begged, leaning back to look up at him. Sympathy rested on his face. You knew he could feel your fear.

"I have to," he sighed.

"No! Let me go in your place, please.. Just don't go to Malachor," you whimpered, gripping his shirt a little tighter.

"I can't let you get hurt Kanan, please!" You could see that your pleads would get you no where.

"I don't have a choice (F/N)," he murmured, raising a hand to stroke your cheek.

"Then let me come with you." He shakes his head.

"This is something we must do. There are many possible futures (F/N). Maybe you've only seen one of them," he tried. You shook your head.

"Please don't take chance Kanan.. I don't want to lose you." You pressed yourself against Kanan his grip around you tightening.

"Come." He pulled away from you gently leading you back to your bunk. You didn't protest as you slid back into the bunk. You laid down on your side facing Kanan.

"Please don't leave me.." He smiled softly.

"I'm not going anywhere." He crawled onto the bunk. It wasn't built for two on the same bed, but you moved over letting him lay next to you. You were face to face with him. His arm fell around your waist tugging you against him. You'd always dreamed of this. You were content as his forehead resting against your own.

"I won't ever leave you, I promise. You won't lose me," he murmured.

Your body eventually began to relax under Kanan's touch. The Jedi had slipped into slumber leaving you awake. You didn't want to go back to sleep, but the tiredness in your body said otherwise. You tried to fight it, but gave in.

You'd woke to an empty space next to you. He'd left early with Ezra and Ahsoka leaving you just to hope. Hera had put you to work to help keep your mind off of things. It didn't help much. Each moment you thought about him and the mission. The vision wouldn't leave your mind. You hadn't told anyone else about your vision. You assumed that Kanan told Ahsoka since Rex confronted you about it. His comfort had been welcomed. You spent most of your time at Rex's side after that.

You were afraid of their return, but you looked forward to it. "They're back!" Zeb shouted. You hadn't payed attention to how long they'd been gone. You ran out onto the platform with the others waiting. The Phantom touched down next to the Ghost. Your heart dropped as it opened. Ezra stepped out Kanan's arm wrapped around his shoulder. A white bandage was tied around his head covering his eyes. Your vision had come true. You ran forward coming to stop in front of them. Ezra carefully slipped out from under Kanan's arm. He walked away. You could sense the darkness coming from the Padawan, but he wasn't your focus.

"Kanan.." You whimpered, reaching out to him. He jumped slightly as your fingers touched his cheeks. Your thumbs resting on the edge of the bandage. He lowered his head down his forehead resting against yours. His silence worried you.

"You were right..." He muttered, suddenly. You bit back tears. You squeezed his cheeks slightly. His hands came to yours and brought them away from his face. He didn't release your hands as they fell to his sides.

"I should've listened to you.."

"No Kanan, don't. You're alive and that's all that matters," you murmured, guilt pooling in your gut. He let go of you and stepped back. Hera came to stand a few steps behind you.

"Oh.." She breathed, sadness in her tone. Kanan hobbled toward her passing you. Sadly you walked away. Rex came to your side his own sadness evident. Ahsoka hadn't returned. Without warning you hugged the Clone. He returned it his own tears springing out onto his cheeks. Your vision had come true and you were left wishing it hadn't.

Forever Taglist:

@morrioghainfae @xaviersmutcnt @raindrops-on-roses142

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ratwrites · 5 years ago

Text

Seeing You Differently

Requests.

Masterlist.

Summary: You were captured by the imperials on a dumb mission. The Ghost Crew rescues you. You realize you could've died and you could die at anytime so you decide to act on your feelings while you still have a chance.

Warnings: Torture, Lil bit of angst, NSFW, Smut man, Oral sex, Unprotected sex (don't be a prick, wrap yo dick)

Pairing: Kanan Jarrus X Reader

Word Count: 4,698

A/N: A'ight listen up. I love Kanera with a passion, but I needed this lmao. There isn't enough Kanan X Readers out there and I'm sad lol Also sorry it isn't the best. Smut isn't my strong suit

[[MORE]]

Captured. After all this time now of having smooth missions this is the one that decided to back fire. A solo mission. It was the dumbest and easiest mission you'd even been assigned, yet here you sat, in a cell. You sat against the cell wall leaning your head back on the cool surface. You stared up at the ceiling pondering an escape. Your hope was that your crew would come for you when you failed to respond to your com, but they were busy.

You let out a sigh deciding to stand. Your body ached as you moved onto your feet. To your dismay they wanted information and were persistent to getting it. You had bruises along the temple of your head from the shocks that had been administered to your head and other places on your body. It was the classic information like where the Rebel base was and other things you weren't going to give up. You ran a hand through your hair still not use to the shortness. Your hair had been long when you had been captured, but they cut it short. Your hair fell between your shoulder and your ear. It was the shortest it had ever been and you hated it.

You began to pace the room ignoring the ache in your bones. You jumped as the cell door slid open. Two storm troopers entered binding your wrists. "Watch it," you snapped, as they shoved you out of the cell. You hated Storm Troopers. After meeting Rex you'd made your choice that Clones were much better even if they did turn against the Jedi. You walked ahead of the troopers their guns pointed at your back. They walked you out of the cell block and down into another room. This room had become your second home during the passing days. The clones undid your wrists strapping you to the Interrogation Chair. The tugged on the restraints knowing you couldn't break free from them.

You leaned your head back as a man entered the room. "Welcome back (F/N)," he spat, halting in front of you.

"Thanks... What was your name again? Oh right, I don't care," you replied, hotly. The man scoffed.

"Let us see if you'll be a little more cooperative today," he mused.

"Don't plan on it," you informed. You groaned in pain as electricity was administered to your body. Your muscles tensed and your chin dropped to your chest once the shocks ended.

"Where is the Rebel base?" He asked.

"Bite me," you replied, rolling your head until it was up again. Another shock was delivered. You ground your teeth holding back the pained screams that wanted to leave your lips. You threw your head back hitting it against the headboard of the chair. It lasted longer, but eventually stopped. Your heart pounded against your ribs.

"Where is the Rebel base?" He asked, again. You let out a huff of laughter the gesture hurting your ribs.

"Under a Loth Cat," you responded. You flinched as he turned up the intensity of the shock. A scream left you as the shock came again. You twisted against the restraints cries leaving you. Your head dropped once the shock stopped.

"You have a beautiful scream," he commented, approaching you. He took your chin in his hand forcing your head up.

"Tell me, where are the Rebels." You spat at him catching him off guard. He stumbled back wiping your saliva from his face. He advanced quickly striking your cheek. You groaned out. That would leave a red mark. You didn't bother raising your head. The shock came again even more powerful. You cried out until your voice broke. The pain surging through your body was unbearable. You sealed your eyes shut thrashing against the chair. White noise filled your ears. What if you died in this chair? A numbness started to creep up your legs. Suddenly the shock stopped. You went limp against the restraints too exhausted to even open your eyes. Each breath was painful.

"What good is she if she's dead?" Another voice growled. It was a woman's voice. You didn't bother acknowledging her.

"She's no good anyway! I've done everything I can and she won't break!" The man shouted. You rolled your head letting it fall to the other side of your chest.

"Take her back to her cell. I'll contact command tomorrow and request they send us an Interrogation Droid," she sighed. Hands grabbed you as you were released from the chair. You fell forward into the hard armored arms. You allowed yourself to be dragged back to your cell.

You weren't sure how long you'd been lying in the floor. The troopers had dropped you in your cell and you hadn't the strength to get up. You'd barely managed to drag yourself to lean against the cot in the cell. Your head hung low your spirits broken and your body in pain. They'd never shocked you that hard before. Your toes still tingled. The cell opened suddenly revealing a trooper. "Get away from me," you hissed, your voice rough. You forced yourself to your feet backing up until you couldn't anymore.

"Hey, relax, it's me." Your heart skipped a beat excitement washing through you.

"Kanan?" You gasped. The trooper removed his helmet revealing the Jedi and his blind stare. You couldn't help but run to him hugging him. He tensed for a moment at your affection but eventually returned it.

"What took you so long?" You questioned, letting him go. He slid the helmet back onto his head. You missed the sight of his face as soon as it disappeared. You could've sworn you'd never see him again. He didn't respond to your question.

"Let's get you out of here."

"What's the plan?" you asked, as he slid a pair of loose cuffs around your wrists.

"Ezra is dealing with security. Zeb, Sabine, and Hera are back on the ship waiting for us," he explained, briefly. You nodded. He lead you out of the cell. You followed slowly pain still evident in your stance. He paused grabbing your arms. You were swaying.

"Can you walk?" He hadn't asked sooner?

"Yeah.." You confirmed, unsure. You could tell he was frowning by how his shoulders sagged in the armor.

"Spectre 1 come in. Did you find her?" Hera called, over com. Kanan pressed the side of his helmet.

"I've got her, we're on our way back now," he replied. He began to move one hand holding onto the restraints on your wrists. He lead you past the room where they'd been torturing you. He slowed his pace as a few troopers rounded the corner.

"Hey! Where are you going with that prisoner?" they growled, stopping the two of you.

"Prisoner transfer. She's being relocated to a different facility for more questioning," he answered, quickly. The troopers exchanged glances.

"What's your codes?" They asked. Kanan hesitated. He raised his free hand.

"You don't need to see-" The alarms startled you.

"Rebels on the base!" The troopers raised their guns. Kanan left your side in moments easily taking out the two men.

"Come on!" He ordered. You took off in a pained run doing your best to stay at Kanan's side. You forced the loose restraints off of your wrists as you ran. You ran into more troops. Kanan fell back pulling you aside out of the blaster fire.

"Got a better plan?" You called, over the fire. He didn't have his lightsaber on him.

"I'm thinking!" He responded, pushing you further back out of the fire that dared to hit your cover. You could hear the men approaching. You flinched as more fire sounded a lightsaber echoing in your ears. You spotted Ezra as he raced pasted you and into the fight. Eventually the firing stopped.

"Hey (F/N)!" He greeted, coming back to you and Kanan.

"We've got to go, now!"

You watched as the base disappeared into the distance. You were glad to be out of there. The crew came to greet you properly once the Ghost was clear. "Whoa, that's new," Sabine stated, upon seeing you. Zeb gave you a quick hug along with Ezra who had changed out of his armor.

"What is?" Kanan asked, coming back from his quarters. He'd also shed his Storm Trooper armor.

"Her hair. They cut it in the base," Zeb responded. Kanan's expression dropped.

"It's nothing. It was getting out of hand anyway," you waved. You'd loved your long hair.

"I think it suits you!" Ezra commented, plopping down on the seats.

"Thank you Ezra," you smiled, kindly.

"Alright, we're all happy to have you back, but we need to focus on getting back to the base right now," Hera said, resting a hand on your shoulder.

"You should get some rest," she added. Everyone returned to their duties. Sabine went with Hera to the cockpit while Ezra and Zeb manned the guns just in case. Chopper roamed the ship staying mostly in the cockpit. You wandered back to your quarters. When you first joined the crew you'd roomed with Sabine, but eventually started bunking with Kanan so Sabine could paint. You entered the room taking a seat on the bottom bink. The bottom bunk was Kanan's but you didn't have the energy to climb onto the top. You laid back keeping your feet on the floor. The position was a little painful, but you didn't move.

You'd only been gone for a few days, but you'd missed it. You inhaled deeply taking in the scent of the room. It smelled strongly of Kanan. You exhaled closing your eyes.

You'd fallen asleep for a while waking up when the ship landed. You didn't budge from your spot as the rest of the crew got off. Your mind wandered. You could've died in that base. You never would've gotten the chance to admit your feelings for Kanan. You'd been dancing around Kanan for ages, but you hadn't had the courage to tell him. You weren't even sure if the feelings you harbored for the Jedi were mutual or not.

The door slid open and closed.

"(F/N)?" You sat up an Kanan's voice. He took a few steps toward you before stopping.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, leaning against the desk he used for meditation.

"Fine," you replied, looking away. You weren't fine. You were conflicted and sore.

"I can sense something is bothering you," he stated, frowning lightly. The mask over his eyes bothered you. You'd never liked it very much. Even with his scars and his dull eyes you'd rather look at them than the mask. His head was facing you.

"I'm- it- It's nothing," you defended, looking away from him. He pushed from his leaning spot coming to stand by the bunk. You stood up from his bunk.

"Sorry- I just.. I didn't have the energy to climb.." He silenced you with a gentle touch to your shoulder.

"It's alright (F/N)," he assured. He looked down at you behind his mask. His hand shifted from your shoulder gently brushing against the tips of your hair. He frowned.

"I hate it..." You muttered, pulling your head away from his touch. You sat back down on the bunk looking away from him as he sat next to you.

"Ezra was right though, it suits you," he commented, kindly. You looked over at him. His head was facing toward the door.

"You can't even see it," you reported. Guilt tugged at you.

"Sorry.." He let out a soft chuckle.

"It's alright (F/N). I may not physically be able to see it, but I can see it through the force," he responded. Your curiosity got the better of you.

"How?" You turned to face him again as he faced you.

"Through the force I can see the energy surrounding you; the force surrounding you," he explained. He reached toward his hand meeting your shoulder again.

"I can see the force surrounding your features." His hand slid onto the side of your neck before moving to your cheek. His hand then slid back through your hair coming to rest as the tip of the short strands again. After a few moments his hands dropped back into his lap his head turning away from you. You couldn't draw your gaze away from him. Sadness struck you.

"Kanan I-" you hesitated, letting out a sigh. You stood up from the bunk turning your back to him.

"They could've killed me," you stated.

"But they didn't," he added, staying on the bed.

"But what if they had? What if you hadn't come in time?" You asked, turning around. His body tensed at your words. He looked down at his lap for a moment before standing as well.

"All that matters is that you're safe and alive," he pointed. You shook your head frustratedly.

"You don't understand Kanan..." You muttered.

"What do I not understand? You're alive and breathing. You're safe here," he grunted.

"I could've died! I could've died knowing that I never told you because I was too scared!" you blurted. He tilted his head slightly.

"Told me what?" He asked, taking a step forward. Fear gripped you. You had to tell him, but you were afraid of how he would react.

"Kanan I-"

"You what?"

"I love you!" You squeaked. You covered your mouth with your hands your eyes wide in terror. You dropped your head looking down at your feet. He slowly came to stand toe to toe with you.

"I would've died knowing that I never told you that I loved you... Even if you don't feel the same I- I didn't want to die knowing I hid from you.." you muttered.

"I was so scared Kanan.. I didn't want to die," you rambled, his silence making you nervous. He took your chin between his thumb and forefinger making you flinch. He lifted your chin bringing your eyes to meet his face. The soft smile that pulled on his lips made your heart flutter.

"And I know- I know Jedi aren't supposed to love and.. I know it's wrong.." He silenced your ranting with the gentle stroke of his thumb along your bottom lip. You stared wide eyed at him surprised by the simple gesture.

"You never give me the chance to speak," he teased, softly. Your cheeks heated up slightly.

"(F/N) I love-" he paused.

"I love you too. I have since the first day I laid eyes on you," he murmured. He leaned his head down his mask resting agaisnt your forehead. His smooth hot breaths fanned over your lips. Gently you reached up removing the mask from his face. It clattered to the floor as you stared up at him. Even through his white stare you could see the softness they held. You slowly reached up cupping his cheeks. His hand fell from your chin to rest over your hands. You carefully stroked your thumbs over the scarring across his eyes. He flinched at the touch his eyes closing until you ceased.

"Does it still hurt?" you asked, quietly.

"Only when I dwell on it," he replied, enclosing his hands around yours. Your fingers stroked over his beard as he moved your hands resting them against his chest. You knew what you wanted and he could sense it. Your breath hitched as he closed the space capturing your lips with his own. You melted against him your eyes falling shut. The thought of this never happening frightened you. He moved to let go, but you held on one of your hands escaping his hand resting onto his bearded cheek. You stroked across his beard drawing him back down into the kiss. You were afraid to let go.

His hands found their way to your sides slowly trailing down until they reached your waist. He pulled you closer pressing his body against yours. After a heated moment the kiss finally ended leaving the two of you breathless. You brought your hand down to his chest with the other gripping the fabric of his shirt lightly. His hands stayed at your hips. "You're beautiful," he murmured, his white gaze piercing you. You missed the teal shade that used to dominate his eyes, but even blinded they were still mezmerising. You giggled lightly kissing him again. The kiss was deeper than before. Kanan nipped at your lower lip making you jump. You pulled away.

"Sometimes it is hard to remember things.. Like the color of Hera's skin or the scars on Ezra's cheeks, but I can always remember the way your eyes lit up when you smiled.." He admitted, almost sheepishly. The blush on your cheeks deepened. You ran your hands back up his chest and onto his cheeks. You repeated what he had done to you. You trailed your hands up bending his head down as you ran your hands over his hair.

"I don't think I've ever seen you with your hair down," you murmured. Slowly you tugged the band from his hair. It fell from its hold coming to rest an inch below his shoulders. You gasped running your hands through it. He leaned his head into your touch as your fingers stroked through his dark brown locks. The band fell to the floor. He was the one to initiate the next round of kisses. He pulled you tighter against his body one of his hands moving to the small of your back. He nipped at your bottom lip again drawing it into his mouth. He released it after a moment moving seamlessly against you.

You flinched as your back pressed against the wall. You hadn't even realized that you'd been stepping back. "Kanan.." You breathed, as he moved from your lips to your jaw. He paused at your call lifting his head back up. Even with his blind eyes you could see the desire written across his scarred expression. The desire was mutual. You wanted Kanan.

"If you want me to stop... I want this, but if you do not then please tell me," he said, unsure of his actions.

"I want this," you responded, your voice barely above a whisper. He opened his mouth to ask again, but you cut him off. You pressed your lips roughly to his taking this chance to walk him backwards. He knees hit the edge of the bunk sending him down onto the bed. You fell onto him catching yourself so that your kiss didn't break. Without thought Kanan rolled you over onto your back trapping you under his body.

He broke the kiss for a moment before diving in again. He pressed his body down against you. A warmth shot down to your core as his clothed hardness pressed against your thigh. Your arousal grew. You pushed against his chest signalling him to sit up. Once he was up you followed. You made quick work of his shirt surprised when he didn't fight. You took a moment to drink him in. You reached forward running your hands over the expanse of his chest and torso exploring the dips and hard places on his body. Your curious gaze caught a trail of chocolate brown hair in the center of his torso. You followed it down until it disappeared behind the waistline of his pants. He tugged you to him placing you in his lap. His head was tilted up slightly your gaze locking with his.

His attention shifted down. He reached up finding each tie of your top. He undid each of them until you were able to shrug the top off. You sat with your top bare to him. His head instantly tilted back up to yours. His arm curled around you gently flipping you over once more. Your legs fell from his waist to rest around his thighs as he slid between yours resting himself against you. He kept himself propped above you.

He shifted his position again. He sat above you his hands finding your cheeks. He pecked your lips before leaning back. His calloused hands began their journey. The pads of his fingers slid down your neck to your collar bone. He explored the dips around the bone before continuing his exploration. He fingers fell to the center of your breasts moving down the middle of your stomach. He splayed his hands out across your skin as if he was mapping every dip and scar along your skin. His hands came back up circling around your breasts.

He paused his movements raising his brows in a silent question. "Please," you murmured. With your confirmation his warm hands engulfed your breasts kneading them tenderly. After a moment he hands skidded down your sides and to your waist drawing a shiver from you. He dipped his head his hair and beard tickling your skin. His breath fanned across your breast causing your nipple to harden under him. You arched your back urging him on. With a sigh his mouth found your nipple. His tongue swirled delighfully over the sensitive peak sending small jolts of pleasure to your center. You squeezed your thighs against his. Suddenly he moved his legs placing one outside of your thighs. His knees slid up pressing against your clothed core. You gasped in surprise instinctively pressing yourself against his knee. He smirked around your nipple before switching to the other giving it the same welcomed treatment. His fingers squeezed your hips before they carefully dove down hooking into the waistband of your pants.

He released your nipple trailing open mouthed kisses down your stomach. He began to drag your pants down taking your panties with them. You lifted your rear allowing him to removed them. He tossed them aside into the slowly growing pile of clothes.

His fingers found your ankles. With smooth strokes he trailed up your legs mapping them out as well. He circled your knees before flattening his hands against your thighs. He slid up to where your hips and thighs connected before moving back down. He gently pushed your legs apart before sliding down between them. He pressed feather light kisses against your inner thighs making them tremble with anticipation. The tickle of his beard made you squirm. You were aching with desire. "Kanan... Please," you breathed, lifting your hips to try and meet him. His arm rested across your pelvis applying light pressure. His hot breath hit your wetness causing you to whine. Your body jumped as he kissed you. His tongue ran up the length of your lips catching at your sensitive bud. He trailed back down exploring every part. His beard added to the sensations the hairs covering wherever his mouth wasn't. Your hand shot down catching in his hair. You tugged lightly pullig him closer to you. His circled your clit with his tongue before sinking down around it. A moan left your lips as he began to suck and lap at the bud. Pleasure jolted throughout your body. You let your head fall back agaisnt the bunk another stifled moan leaving you. You gripped his hair a little tighter drawing a hum from him. The vibration caused your hips to buck. He kept you down with his arm applying a little more pressure. You squirmed against him desperately trying to lift your hips to meet him. His ministrations continued slowly growing faster. His free hand found your wetness stroking through your folds. You sighed as he pressed a finger into you. You closed your eyes tight as he moved his finger. He soon added another building the tension in your gut. Pleasure built in your stomach. "Kanan!" You squeaked. The pleasure snapped inside of you sending you over the edge. Your body trembled with orgasm a pleased cry exiting you. Kanan slowed but didn't stop. He rode out your high with you until you pushed back on his head. He left you crawling up your body. He pressed a kiss to your lips. Your taste on his tongue was strange, but it sparked a new arousal in you. He pulled back staring intently down at you. Your cheeks were flushed a deep shade of pink as you locked your gaze with his. Your breathing began to slow. The gentle smile that crossed his lips warmed your heart.

"If you want me to stop.." He began.

"No, Kanan I need you," you whined, cutting him off. He slid off of you and stood completely. You watched in awe as he undid his belt sliding his pants and underwear down in a swift motion. He crawled back over you taking another kiss from your sweet lips. You arched against him his length pressed against your thigh. You sat up keeping your lips together. Your hand slid between your bodies gripping him. A hot grunt left his lips as you massaged his length for a moment. Once he was lined up you laid back down. You spread your thighs opening yourself to him. He worked slowly sinking into you. You groaned more pleasure than pain rushing through you. He bit his lip as he sank deeper into you.

Once fully seated he let out a hushed moan. "Stars..." he huffed, his face twisted with pleasure.

"Move," you pleaded. He lowered his head kissing you deeply as he pulled back sliding in again. He swallowed your moans as he began to thrust keeping a steady even pace. His head fell to the crook of your neck placing hot needy kisses along your pulse and collar bone. He picked up his pace. Your voices melded together as the pleasure built up. You tried to string his name together, but you weren't sure if anything was leaving you besides sinful moans. You wrapped your legs around his waist drawing him deeper into you. He struck the bundle of nerves in your center causing you to cry out in ecstacy. You clenched around him as he kept hitting that spot causing you to see stars. The pleasure was rising fast.

His name left your lips in a pleased yell as you came again your body tightening around him.

You drew a hot unholy noise from the Jedi his forehead resting against your collar bone. His self control dissipated as he gave in to his pleasure. He came swiftly his hips stuttering. His weight hung over you before he rolled onto his side carefully leaving you. You rolled as well curling into his chest. Your head and body were swimming as his arms curled around you.

"Kanan I-" You couldn't hardly speak.

"I know, me too," he responded, just as breathless as you were. He shifted the two of you on the bunk before drawing his covers up and over your bodies locking you under them. You stayed in his embrace tired and quite content with your current situation. Everything was perfect. In this moment you were glad that you'd gotten captured.

"Sleep Love," he encouraged, pressing a sweet kiss to your hair. You snuggled further against his bare chest closing your eyes. With the warmth surrounding you and the tiredness of your body you drifted off quickly.

You exited Kanan's room a few minutes after him. You'd dressed yourself in what you could find before leaving to the rest of the ship. Kanan had gone to find Hera who had been trying to contact him for an hour. You sat in the common room in the Ghost taking a seat next to Zeb.

"So, how was your nap?" Zeb proded, nudging you with his elbow.

"Wonderful thank you," you responded, not thinking much of it. The three of them giggled.

"What?" You asked, cocking a brow at Sabine and Ezra.

"You think for a nap you would've been a little quieter," Ezra teased. Embarrassment washed over you. You assumed that the Ghost had been empty the whole time.. Laughter burst out among the three.

"Guess I owe you some credits," Zeb muttered, to Ezra and Sabine.

"Yeah, Hera owes me some too!" Ezra chirped. You let out a groan and buried your face. You and Kanan were never going to live this one down. Laughter spread across the Ghost as credits were passed around.

Forever Taglist:

@morrioghainfae @xaviersmutcnt @raindrops-on-roses142

#kanan jarrus #kanan jarrus x reader #star wars rebels #star wars #star wars x reader

159 notes · View notes

ratwrites · 5 years ago

Text

Burning House.

Requests.

Masterlist.

Summary: Listening to Burning House by Cam

Warnings: Angst

Pairing: Obi Wan Kenobi X Reader

Word Count: Unsure as I wrote this on my old phone

A/N: Finally got around to editing this! I'm not super happy with how this turned out, but oh well. Sorry that Ben is out of character ;-;

[[MORE]]

You sat in the meditation quarters your legs folded up onto one of the small chairs. You'd been taken out of action as your visions seemed to worsen by the day. Each one had come to pass and the grief weighed heavy on your mind. You could do nothing to stop these dreams from coming to you and you could do nothing to prevent the disasters that happened in them.

Your body tensed as the memories of your recent dream flashed through your mind. The same vision had been haunting you for weeks and you couldn't shake it. You shook your head gently trying to clear your mind, but to no avail. A face flashed beneath your closed eyelids. It was the same friendly face everytime.

"(F/N)?" Your eyes shot open with a start only to find the face of your dreams leaning against the doorframe. Your senses were normally sharp, but you'd been distracted.

"Hey," you muttered, looking down at your lap. You closed your eyes again resuming your meditation position. You had to clear your mind.

"Couldn't sleep again?" He asked, taking a seat in one of the chairs across from you. You opened your eyes meeting his. He had crossed his legs into the chair looking calmly at you. Your mind became clouded as you stared at your fellow Jedi, your friend... You shook your head in confirmation.

"The visions aren't settling," you replied, stretching your back for a moment.

"Meditation isn't helping?" He questioned. You shook your head with a sigh.

"Each time I close my eyes the same vision returns.. No matter how hard I try I can't rid myself of it," you groaned, setting your feet on the floor. You rested your arms across your knees letting your head hang.

"Have you told Master Yoda about this vision?" You shook your head again. Your Master had been the one to take you from the field. You'd been instructed to take each vision to the elder Jedi in hopes of dealing with them. You weren't the only one to have such harsh dreams in the force, but you were the first to have them so bad.

"I- I can't... This one is.. Different," you muttered, keeping your head down. You heard a soft shift in his position.

"How is it different?" He proded. You looked up at your friend making out his features in the dark room.

"I've been sleep walking.." You answered. Normally you tossed and turned, but this dream... It wasn't like the others.

"I've been wandering all night.. I went down in my quarters and woke up in the Younglings training room," you explained. Obi Wan frowned. You could sense his concern.

"It's like I've been trying to find what's lost and broke and make it right.." You added, looking down again. Obi Wan finally stood from his chair and moved to you. He crouched down in front of you carefully taking your hand.

"You should speak to Master Yoda in the morning," he suggested.

"Obi-"

"I insist. You need your rest." He stood carefully bringing you to your feet. You sighed keeping your hand in his for a moment longer. You savored the feeling of his calloused skin against yours. You let go with a snap settling the emotions that rose within you. Now wasn't the time. Without a word you followed the Jedi from the room and back to your chambers.

"Sleep, I will return in the morning," he encouraged. You yawned your quarters door opening.

"Goodnight Master Kenobi," you said, bowing your head in farewell.

"Goodnight Master (L/N)."

Obi Wan didn't return to your room in the morning. According to Anakin he'd been sent out on a sudden supply run to a small planet. You'd set off to the council room in hopes of talking to the elder Jedi. You stood outside the council door for a moment.

"Enter you may," Yoda's voice called, through the door. With a deep breath you hesitantly pushed the door open. Yoda sat in the company of Master Windu, your Master, and another member of the Jedi Council.

"What brings you to the council young one?" Mace asked, tilting his head briefly.

"Another dream you've had?" Yoda spoke, as you opened your mouth to answer. You closed it nodding your head. Silence fell over the room.

"I was hoping I could speak with you, alone, Master Yoda," you said, shyly. Even though you knew these Jedi, coming in front of a group of them was still nervewracking to you.

"Talk in private, of course," he replied, calmly. With a curt nod Mace and the other Jedi stood leaving the room. With a flick of his wrist the doors closed behind them and the blindes in the room closed slightly allowing little light into the large room. You took a seat next to the elder.

"Meditate you must, bring back this vision," he encouraged. You hesitated.

"Hesitant you are, fear not young one," he soothed. You took a shaky breath before closing your eyes letting your head fall slightly.

"About this vision you must tell." The images began to flash through your mind.

"I see a burning house.." You began, your muscles tensing.

"He was stuck inside I couldn't get him out... I laid beside him and pulled him close.. And we went up in smoke," you explained, your eyes shooting open. You hadn't realized how labored your breathing had become until you calmed yourself. Yoda frowned.

"Troubled you are. Who is this man you see?" He asked, tilting his head. You stayed silent. You were afraid to speak the whole truth. You were afraid it would reveal things that were against the Jedi code.

"A fellow Master," you answered, choosing not to reveal his identity. Yoda nodded with a noise. His hand scratched his chin.

"And this vision, die you both do?" He continued. You shrugged. The vision never revealed your fate, but you had a hunch that it wasn't a happy ending.

"More you must tell."

"I've been sleep walking, too close to the fire. Everywhere I seem to go there is fire," you continued, looking away from the Master.

"Sleep walking?" Yoda repeated. You nodded keeping your eyes away from him.

"Hm," Yoda pondered, scratching his chin again. A silence fell over the room as the elder thought.

"Tell this Jedi, you should. Sensing more to your vision, I am," he spoke, finally. Your heart dropped in your chest. You couldn't tell him.

"Releave this vision, it will. Releave your clouded mind, it will," he added. You slowly nodded standing to your feet.

"Thank you Master Yoda for your guidance." You left quickly your mind still clouded. You walked through the temple halls with your head down.

"Master (L/N)!" Anakin called, from behind you. You halted your steps turning to face Obi Wan's old Padawan who'd recently become a General and his own Padawan at his heels.

"Yes young Skywalker?" You folded your hands neatly in front of your body as he skidded to a halt.

"Obi Wan has returned from his mission. I thought you'd like to know," he said, a smirk forming on his lips.

"Thank you Crash" you bowed. Your first mission with Anakin he had gotten you and your team stranded on a Sepretist planet which earned him your nickname, Crash.

"You're welcome Master Slick." Without another word they hurried off. You'd earned your nickname from the one time you'd accidentally dropped your lightsaber during a very important mission. It had almost cost you your life, but in the event of your survival it had become an inside joke between you and the Skywalker. You continued your walk making your way to your quarters. You didn't want to speak to Ben. You weren't in the right mindset to speak to Ben.

Your personal droid greeted you. "Hello Miss (L/N)! Would you like me to fetch you anything?" It questioned.

"Not now C2. Please do not let anyone disturb me I need to meditate," you ordered.

"Yes my lady." The droid wandered off as you headed to your bedroom the door closing behind you. You placed yourself on your bed crossing your legs. You closed your eyes focusing on the peace in your room. The silence lasted for a moment before you were swiftly consumed by your vision and thoughts.

"Master (L/N)? (F/N)? (F/N) can you hear me?" You jolted with a cry of terror your eyes shooting open and drawing you back to reality. Ben was over you concern wafting off of him. You sat upright swiftly pulling yourself up onto your feet and away from Obi Wan. Fear consumed you as you looked around. The daylight from your windows had turned to night. How long had you been out? How long had he been trying to wake you? How did you end up on the floor. Your mind was racing.

"(F/N) you need to relax," he urged, raising his hands up in surrender. Your heart was pounding against your ribs and your breathing was ragged. You backed away from him until your back hit a wall. He didn't advance.

"You need to calm your mind," he said, visibly flinching. Even you could sense the distrot in the force that you were causing. You tried to calm yourself attempting to force your breathing to slow, but it refused. Your mind was overrun blinding any rationality you had. You rushed forward practically slamming your body against Bens'. You snaked your arms around him desperately burying your face into the tunic covering his chest. Your body shook against him. For a moment he stood stunned his arms out awkwardly at his sides. Your trembling turned into soft sobs as your fingers clung to the fabric of his shirt. Eventually he reached out trapping you securely against his chest. The last time you'd hugged Ben was when you were selected to become Mace Windu's Padawan. That had been a long time ago. One of his hands rested against the back of your head gently stroking your hair.

"Focus.." he began, pausing for a moment.

"Focus on me. Put your mind to ease," he soothed, holding you a little tighter. You sobs quieted as you focused on his heartbeat, his breathing, and his voice.

"There you go, easy now," he murmured, the touch on your hair calming you down as well. His gentle fingers caused your scalp to tingle pleasantly. Your mind began to settle which allowed your muscles to relax as well. Slowly your rational thinking returned to you. This was so wrong for you to be doing, yet it seemed so perfect. After a few more moments you begrudgingly pulled away taking a few steps back from him.

"Are you alright?" He asked, the concern still coming off of him in waves.

"I'm fine... What exactly happened?" You replied, countering his question with one of your own. He paused.

"You seemed to be in a deep meditative state, almost as if you were sleeping or in a trance," he explained, partly.

"And how did I end up on the floor?" He shrugged casting a quick glance toward the droid who passed the room door.

"It found you like this. According to the droid you were crying out for help as if you were in pain. It said you-" Obi Wan fell silent.

"Said I what?" You pushed, your anxiety building. You pushed it down trying to keep your head clear.

"You were calling out to someone." Your gut twisted. You had a bad feeling you knew exactly who you called for and he responded to that call.

"Obi... It's- I-" He gently reached out taking your hands in his own. He led you back to your bed sitting you down.

"This vision is haunting you (F/N). Please, if I can aid you then let me!" His compassion was whole along with his kindness. When focused you could sense something else but you couldn't quite put your finger on it.

"It's not that easy Obi..." You started.

"Yoda said that it was about me," he stated. How had Yoda found out? You ignored that thought remembering that the old Jedi knew things about you that even you didn't know.

"Obi please.."

"He said that talking would help ease this vision-"

"It isn't that simple Ben!" You yelped, cutting him off. Silence took over the room as your eyes landed hotly on his. Your anger softened the longer you looked at him. His face was patient and kind. He was willing to wait for you. You let out a heavy sigh. He was persistent. He'd keep trying, never losing his cool or patience with you. You couldn't keep hiding this from him. If ruining your friendship and abandoning your code is what you had to do to save him then that is what you intended to do. The droid stopped in the doorway.

"Leave us please and make sure no one disturbs us," you ordered. The droid nodded closing the bedroom doors. You looked to Ben who's attention was focused on you. You took another deep breath your hands still trembling.

"I had a dream about a burning house.." You started, looking away from him.

"You were stuck inside. I couldn't get you out.. So I laid beside you and I held you tight... And the two of us went up in smoke." You drew your gaze back to him catching the sympathy he held for you. Thinking about the vision brought back the thoughts that had been clouding your mind.

"I-" You froze. If you didn't tell someone about these troubling thoughts then they'd continue to haunt you.

"I've been sleepwalking too close to the fire, but it's the only place that I can hold you tight." His eyes widened at your words causing you to look down shamefully.

"Love isn't all it seems... I did you wrong," You sighed, standing from the bed. You shouldn't have let these emotions fester. You should've cut them off at the root, but you didn't. It was against the Jedi Code to have attachments, but you were attached to your fellow Master. His voice and smile constantly clouded your mind along with your vision making it almost impossible to focus on a daily basis.

"I'm sorry Master Kenobi... I know it is wrong. I just- these dreams-" You silenced yourself as a hand gently grabbed your own. You followed the pressure allowing it's owner to turn you around. You stared down at your feet Obi's boots mere inches away from yours. Your breath hitched as the hand slid down enveloping yours in its warmth.

"It's alright (F/N)," he murmured. His other hand rose taking your chin between his thumb and forefinger. With little effort he raised your head carefully forcing you to face him. The emotion radiating off of him was surprising. You honed in on him sensing each emotion that passed through him. Your own eyes widened as you captured the love that seeped out of him. Had he also been struggling to keep his mind clear of such things? You locked your gaze with his allowing yourself to drown in their vibrant color. The vision disappeared from your mind as a new image replaced it. Obi Wan chuckled his hand gliding from your chin to your cheek.

"Your thoughts are very loud dear one." He'd never called you that before. The pet name made your stomach flutter and your heart race. You stiffened slightly as the Jedi's head lowered a little toward you. His eyelids were low silently asking for permission to finish what he had started. You closed your eyes giving him the confirmation he needed. Butterflies exploded throughout your body as his lips pressed against yours molding perfectly to you. Your free hand came up resting over the one splayed across your cheek. You didn't want this moment to end. Slowly he pulled back his forehead resting against yours. You exhaled with a sigh keeping your eyes closed.

You were almost feverish from the sensation of his kiss. You dared to open your eyes finding that his were still closed. "I'll stay here with you until this dream is gone." He opened his eyes pulling his head away from yours. He lead you back to your bed sitting you on it. You slid into it surprised as he followed. He propped himself up against the headboard giving you a signal to come to him. You moved to his side settling against him. He tucked you under his arm letting your head rest near his collarbone.

"Rest dear one." He pressed a kiss into your hair making your scalp tingle. This was wrong, but you wouldn't trade this moment for anything.

Weeks had gone by since your first moment with Master Kenobi. The pair of you had continued to meet privately spending nights with one another and exchanging secret kisses after missions or meetings. Your union had to stay secret, though Anakin had discovered it rather fast which didn't surprise you. You knew that your secret would be safe with him considering his relationship with the Senator.

Many missions had passed and you'd begun to think that your so called vision had just been a nightmare after all, until now.

You swung your lightsaber desperately killing each droid that approached you. Your platoon was dying quickly and your reenforcements were occupied. You'd sustained a shot burn on your arm, but you didn't let that stop you. "Fall back to the temple!" You shouted, overing the raging battle.

"Fall back!" You watched your clones covered each other making their way out of the field and into safety. You followed keeping your back to your men as you fended off any shots that followed. Finally you withdrew your lightsaber and ran catching up to your men. You could make out fighting in front of you. You halted your men following.

"What are your orders sir?" Captain Wolf questioned, coming to your side.

"We'll split up into two teams and go around the fighting. We do not have the men or resources to engage them right now so stay out of sight. I want you to gather General Skywalker and his men and meet us back at the temple," you ordered You intended to send some of your men to Anakin and follow the rest back to the temple where Obi Wan had last been. You lifted your arm turning on your communicator.

"Anakin come in!" You called.

"I'm a bit busy!" He responded quickly.

"I'm sending Wolf and some of my men to you. I'm headed back to the temple. Regroup there when you are able," you ordered.

"Copy that!"

"Kenobi!" You called. There was no reply.

"Master Kenobi come in!" Still no reply. Panic washed over you.

"Wolf, take your men and go! We'll meet you at the temple!" Wolf nodded and turned gathering half of the platoon and taking off.

"Follow me!" You began to run in the opposite direction as Wolf taking the rest of the men with you. As you moved you continued to try and reach your lover.

"Obi Wan can you hear me!" Static retuened your call. Fear took hold of your senses. Memories of the dream began to return to you making your fear grow. You and your men broke out into a clearing where the temple stood. Captain Cody met you halfway to the temple.

"Where is General Kenobi?" You asked, quickly. Cody pointed to a large abandoned house near the temple.

"We had to retreat. There were too many of them. Our losses were high," he explained.

"As were ours," you sighed, your fear settling. He was okay. You headed toward the house entering it to find him crouched next to a hologram. At your entry he stood. Without thinking you threw yourself at him hugging him. He returned it for a moment before letting go.

"Why didn't you respond to my communication?" You questioned. He lifted his arm tapping the broken com unit.

"Blasted droid damaged it," he replied, coolly. You let out a sigh.

"Anakin should be on his way here. Wolf and I had to call everyone back. They had a lot more in numbers than he'd anticipated," you sighed, crouching down by the hologram. It was a view of the landscape littered with red dots to mark the Separatist droids and green dots to mark the Clones. Anakin's group was slowly making their way back.

"We need to rethink our approach. The council currently doesn't have the troops to send us anymore reenforcements so we have to make due with what we have," Obi Wan explained. Anakin was meant to be your reenforcements... You nodded in agreement. You watched the field as Anakin's forces neared the temple. You stood suddenly as yelling came from outside. Your senses flipped upsidedown.

"Ben!" A blast knocked you off of your feet. Your vision turned white as your back hit what you assumed was the ground. A loud ringing took over your ears making your head spin. You tuned into the pain radiating through your body. You tried to move, but couldn't. After what you assumed was a few moments your vision returned. You seeled your eyes shut as the ringing faded as well only to be replaced with a roar. Heat overtook your senses causing your heart to drop. You forced your eyes opened blinking rapidly as bright hot fire surrounded you. You coughed dragging yourself up and onto your feet. You couldn't see anything but fire.

"Obi Wan!" You shouted, your voice ragged and pained. You coughed again smoke invading your lungs. You stumbled through the firey building falling to your knees. Breathing was painful and short.

"Ben!" You strained, trying to make out anything through the roaring flames. You spotted a limp shape on the floor. Large pieces of the ceiling surrounding it. You crawled forward your coughing becoming more violent by the second.

"Ben-!" Obi Wan laid on the floor his legs trapped under a large piece of ceiling. His face and clothes were covered his ash and you could make out cuts and tears in his clothes revealing crimson blood. With what strength you had you lifted the piece off of him before your body gave out. You fell forward landing roughly on your stomach. You were light headed from the lack of oxygen. This was it. This was your dream. You laid for a moment before gathering your strength. You couldn't let him die. You raised yourself onto your hands and knees and crawled until you were at his side. You had to try.

You dropped down your upper body falling over Obi Wan's. You used yourself as a shield against the flames protecting his head and whatever else you could. You closed your eyes burying yourself into the force and seperating yourself from reality. Everything was quiet. "I will save you.." You let yourself drift off.

Obi Wan woke with a groan his body aching from his head down to his toes. Slowly his eyes fluttered open temporarily unaware of his surroundings. He tried to sit up, but a pair of familiar hands pushed him back down. "Whoa, take it easy Master," Anakin urgered, sitting back down next to the cot. Obi Wan tilted his head looking to his former Padawan.

"What happened?" He mumbled, his memory foggy. Anakin frowned, resting his arms across his knees.

"The temple was bombed. We had no idea the attack was coming until it was right on top of us," Anakin answered. His heartrate spiked suddenly as he focused on the memory. You'd yelled out to him just before everything had been set ablaze.

"(F/N)," Obi Wan forced himself up.

"Take it easy Master!" Anakin protested, standing to his feet.

"Where is she? Anakin where is she?" He demanded, fear in his eyes. Obi Wan watched a sad scowl form across Anakin's face. He could sense the tension behind his unsaid answer.

"Oh Gods..." Obi Wan choked, looking away from him.

"She- she's alive," Anakin reassured.

"Just- we're not sure for how much longer.." He added, sadly. Obi Wan looked at him again.

"The whole place was on fire.. It took hours to get it down enough to where we could send in a team to get you out," he explained, quietly.

"We- we found you two together... Master (L/N) was covering you." Anakin was the one to look away. Dread hung over Obi Wan as her dream came to him rapidly.

"She sustained major burns along her body along with a few other injuries." Obi Wan could sense the sadness from his former Padawan. He understood that him and her were good friends and that Anakin cared about her almost as much as he cared for Ahsoka or Padmae.

"I need to see her," he stated, kicking his feet off of the bed. He regretted his choice as pain shot up his legs and around his spine.

"You aren't fit to be up and about Master. You were in pretty bad shape when we found you. If it wasn't for her you'd be dead," Anakin stated, resting a hand on Ben's shoulder.

"Anakin, I have to see her," Obi Wan insisted, connecting his gaze with Anakin's. The Jedi sighed sensing the distress from his former Master. He helped Obi Wan to his feet wrapping the older Jedi's arm over his shoulder. Slowly they began to walk.

They entered a different room of the infirmary station. The room was lined with Bacta Tank's each one holding a severly wounded Clone. Ben's eyes landed on one holding his lover. "(F/N)," he whimpered. Anakin helped him to the tank. Obi Wan pulled from Anakin's hold pressing his hands against the cool glass of the tank. His eyes scanned over her body taking in the burns littered across her skin. He could sense her holding onto life by a thread.

"Oh dear one.." He whined, pressing his forehead agaisnt the glass.

"You didn't have to do this... You didn't have to sacrifice yourself." Tears dared to spring out onto the Jedi's cheeks, but he pushed them back. His hands clenched into fists.

"Don't leave me.. Please." The tears he held forced their way out sliding down his cheeks and into his beard. His shoulders shook as he silently cried his emotions overwhelming him. Anakin's friendly hand touched his shoulder, but Obi Wan didn't budge. The one person he'd allowed himself to love was lost to him. Her life was fading with every passing moment.

"I can't lose her Anakin..." He sobbed. Anakin's hold on his shoulder tightened with a supportive squeeze.

"Her choice whether she lives or dies it is," Yoda's voice spoke. Obi Wan reached up wiping his eyes free of tears. Slowly he turned to face the elder staying by Anakin's side.

"Brave she was. Saved you she did," he continued, his gaze traveling to her body in the tank.

"Is there anything we can do to help her?" Obi Wan questioned, keeping his voice as steady as he could. A small frown crossed the elder's face.

"Help her we cannot. Let your emotions cloud your judgment you should not," Yoda answered. Anakin dropped his hand from his former Master's shoulder.

"Master Anakin, Master Yoda, your presence is needed on the deck," a clone interrupted, coming to stand behind the old Jedi. The clone left with Yoda following slowly behind.

"Have faith Obi Wan. She'll pull through," Anakin reassured, before following after them. Obi Wan turned back to the tank his hands resting on it again. Only time would tell your fate.

Months had passed since the bombing. Obi Wan had been returned to battle, but he frequently visited the Medical station in hopes of finding you awake. His last visit had been over a week ago due to the war and his hopes of seeing you smile again had faded. He landed his starfighter into the landing deck. "R4 stay with the fighter. I shouldn't be too long," he ordered. The droid wirred in response as its pilot climbed out. Obi Wan began his trek his brown cloak flowing behind him as he moved.

"Welcome General Kenobi!" A medical clone greeted, approaching him.

"How is she?" He asked, nodding his head in welcome to the clone.

"Her condition hasn't really changed sir; though her burns have healed up nicely along with her other injuries," he explained, leading the Jedi to her tank. Obi Wan looked over her. He rested his hand on the glass.

"Do you think she'll come to?" Obi Wan questioned, sadly. The medic sighed deeply.

"We aren't sure General. With how long she's been out chances of her waking up are rather slim. General Fisto has given her a few more days until we take her out of the tank." Obi Wan could sense the sadness that even the Clone carried. She'd always been a good friend to the clones earning her respect more than once. He stepped back from the tank taking in her peaceful expressione once more. His heart weighed heavy in his chest the grief poking at his mind.

"Contact me if there is any change in her condition and please contact me if Master Fisto goes through with removing her," he ordered, giving the clone a sad glance. The clone bowed his head.

"Yes sir." Without another word the clone disappeared from the room leaving Obi Wan by her tank. He rested his head against the glass closing his eyes. He honed in on the force his mind clearing. He could sense her. Her heartbeat was steady and the mask covering her mouth and nose kept her breathing smooth. He focused.

"I need you (F/N)... You've become apart of my life and-" he paused, swallowing hard.

"I don't know what I would do without you..." He squeezed his eyes tighter trying to sense any change in her state. With a heavy sigh he pushed off of the tank looking her over one last time.

"I love you dear one.." He turned his back to the tank making his way out of the room. His feet dragged as he walked his head hanging lower than he should've aloud it. He made his way out to the landing doc coming to stand by his ship. He leaned against the wing taking a moment to collect himself. He shook his head silently cursing himself. He'd let himself get too attached and now he was suffering for it. He pinched the bridge of his nose behind jumping up and into the cockpit of his fighter. He sat for a moment leaning his head back against the seat.

"Time to go R4," he muttered, seeling his cockpit. The engines of his fighter roared to life. His droid squeaked at him its words appearing on the screen before Obi Wan.

"They're calling to you." He looked around spotting a few of the clones rushing toward him. R4 popped the cockpit.

"What is it?" He questioned, sitting up.

"They're taking her out," he said, catching his breath.

"What? I thought Master Fisto was giving her a few more days," Obi Wan frowned, getting out of his fighter.

"She's awake.." Obi Wan took off back toward the room.

"I love you dear one..."

Your eyes shot open your senses overloading with fear. The bacta burned your eyes eliciting a cry of shock and pain from your lips. Your hands shot to the glass pressing hard against it. Clones raced in swiftly emptying the tank. You were removed from the tank and set on a cot by the tank. The mask was removed from your face and a towel was passed to you. You shivered as the cool air of the station connected against your wet skin. You slid the towel around your shoulders looking around. The clones were taking vitals and asking you questions that you couldn't quite make out.

Master Fisto appeared in the room steadily walking toward you. The clones stepped aside allowing the Jedi to stand in front of you. "It is good to see you Master (L/N)," he spoke, clearly. You rubbed your ear with the towel giving him a curt nod.

"What-" you coughed, your throat dry and hoarse. Kit nodded to one of the medics who quickly gathered you a glass of water. You gulped down the clear liquid sighing as it soothed your aching throat. Once finished you handed the glass back to the clone.

"What happened?" You asked, your voice still rough and low.

"What is the last thing you remember?" He countered. You fell silent for a moment wracking your brain for some sort of explanation.

"I- I'm not sure.. I can remember the battle and- and we were forced to regroup..." You paused, realization hitting you like a blaster shot. Before you could speak another figure appeared in the room's doorway. All eyes turned to him. You could sense the excitement and the happiness rolling off of him. You stood with the aid of Master Fisto keeping the towel wrapped around your shoulders. Obi Wan ran to you colliding into you as his arms snaked around you trapping your wet form safely against his chest. You couldn't help but snuggle into him sensing that it had been a long time since you'd been held by him.

"My dear one..." He sniffed, his head resting near the base of your neck. You pressed your cheek against his shoulder savoring the moment.

"Oh how I've missed you so," he slowly pulled back his arms still around you. You were surprised to find tears streaking down the Jedi's face and into his soft beard.

"Goodness how long have I been out? You act as if we haven't spoken in months," you giggled, reaching up with one hand to stroke away his tears while the other kept your towel secure. Obi Wan didn't respond to your joke. Concern took hold.

"H- How long have I been out exactly?" You questioned, keeping your gaze trained on Obi Wan.

"Around four months," Master Fisto interrupted. Her eyes deadpanned from Obi Wan to the other Master in the room.

"What?" She was dumbfounded.

"When they pulled you from the wreckage of the building you were covered in burns and other injuries. Your body shielded Obi Wan from sustaining anymore injuries than he did," Kit explained, taking a step closer.

"It was foolish of you," Obi Wan added, causing your gaze to snap back to him. You could see the scold in his expression, but the thanks that remained in his eyes.

"I couldn't let you die," you defended.

"And I couldn't watch you die!" He snapped, suddenly. You took a step back from him.

"I've been visiting you for months now watching as the one I love heals but never wakes, her true condition never changing. I'd given up hope that I'd ever see you again that I'd ever see your smile again..." He cut himself off. His mind was shrowded causing him to forget the presence of the other Jedi and his clones.

"I thought I was going to lose you.." His voice grew quiet. Your eyes jumped from Obi Wan to Kit who gave you a bow of his head before ushering his men out of the room.

"Ben.."

"I was so afraid of losing you (F/N) that it clouded my judgment. It distorted the way I did things. My attachment to you pained every part of my being knowing that you might never wake again.." Your heart cracked at his words causing you to look down. He was right, your actions had been foolish. You'd acted out of love and not out of the force. You could've dragged his body to safety but instead you put your life on the line just to keep him safe.

"I was- I was so scared..." You moved back to him standing toe to toe with him. You had no worse to ease your hurt being passed between the two of you. With your eyes closed you leaned up capturing the Master's lips with your own. He reacted instantly kissing you in return his arms finding their way around your lower back locking your bodies against each other. He was greedy and you didn't blame him. You pressed hard and desperately into the kiss your eyes squeezing shut. Eventually it ended. Obi Wan rested his forehead against yours his arms staying still around you. You tucked your hands between your chest and his snuggling closer to him.

"Can you- can you say it again?" You asked, quietly. Obi Wan pulled his forehead from yours cocking a confused brow.

"What you said to me.. Before I woke up," you confirmed. You'd heard him speak to you. Through the force he'd connected with you and you heard his call. Obi Wan's expression softened.

"I love you dear one." He took you again kissing you softly. You melted against him content with this moment, until a chill ran up your spine.

"I love you too Ben, but do you think we could scrounge me up a robe or something? It's quite cold in here," you giggled. Obi Wan chuckled hugging you close for a moment before letting go completely. He shrugged off his cloak wrapping it around your shoulders. The cloak was quite large on you. He couldn't help but smile as you pulled it tight around you letting it warm you.

"I'll fetch Master Fisto so they can continue treating you." Without another word he hurried out of the room. You sighed and sat back down the cot keeping the cloak pulled around you. His scense wafted off of it filling your nostrils. It was pleasant. Clones entered the room coming to you immediately. You begrudgingly shed the cloak allowing them to finish their tests and whatnot before one of them offered you a set of white infirmary robes.

You took them without hesitation quickly slipping out of the bandages that had been covering your most private areas and into the robes once the clones left you. Once changed you tossed Obi Wan's cloak around your shoulders once more and carefully made your way out of the room your legs a little shaky under you. You spotted the two Master's just down the hall. They looked deep in discussion, but it paused when you stepped fully into the hall. You headed their way coming to stand next to Obi Wan.

"I can assure you Master Kenobi your secret is safe with me," Master Fisto said, suddenly. Your eyes widened looking between the two men.

"I am indeed happy for you both. If you'll excuse me my friends I have patients to attend to." With a kind smile Master Fisto disappeared down the hall. You looked up at Ben.

"So he knows then?" You questioned. Obi Wan nodded.

"How long will they be keeping you until you can return to Corisant?" Obi Wan countered, taking your hand in his own.

"I was given a week of treatment and observation. They mainly want to be sure that I am indeed healed enough to be released," you replied, swaying slightly on your feet. The cloak moved with you which caused the Jedi to smile.

"Then I shall stay as much as I am able," Obi Wan murmured. He took you in his arms again hugging you once more. You returned it cuddling your face against his shirt. His embrace was your home and you never wanted to leave the flames burning between the two of you.

Forever Taglist:

@morrioghainfae @xaviersmutcnt @raindrops-on-roses142

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ratwrites · 5 years ago

Note

Fyi. I think you are the bombdiggity, so yeah, just figured I’d mention that. And that I adore you so dang much!! ❤️❤️❤️ okay, byyyyyeeeee!

Aaaaaaaaaahhh you are babbyyyyyyy. ❤ You're too good to me Kat you precious lovely human being ;; Aaaahhhh Byeeeeee ❤❤❤❤

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ratwrites · 5 years ago

Text

Demons

Requests.

Masterlist.

Prompt/s: None

Summary: Dean is having nightmares as a side effect of removing the mark and he needs comfort.

Warnings: Angst, fluff

Pairing: Dean Winchester X Reader

Word Count: 2,011

A/N: Sorry it isn't the best. Dean is probably my least favorite character of TFW and I find it difficult to write him. I tried to write a more vulnerable side of Dean that we don't get to see very often.

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"You're gonna die, and this, this is what you're gonna become!" Hands slid around her throat. They were my hands, but it didn't seem like me. It was an outer body experience as I lifted her by the throat her feet no longer touching the floor. I could see Sam laying in the distance crimson blood dripping from his neck.

Her hands clawed at my wrists and her feet kicked trying to force me to release. "Dean..." She whined, her voice strained and dying.

"Dean this isn't- isn't you!-" I squeezed harder. Tears sprung out onto her cheeks mixing with the blood from multiple cuts on her face. The mark on my arm burned causing my fingers to twitch around her neck. With a growl I threw her sending her onto and over the library table and onto the broken chairs around it. She barely moved as if she was trying to raise herself, but she couldn't. I moved around the table rolling her onto her stomach. Cas? She was gone. Replaced by a bloodied angel.

"Dean... Please.." I was grabbing his shirt by the collar his angel blade suddenly in my hand. His weak grip took hold of my wrist. My mind screamed at me. "KILL HIM! LET HIM LIVE! KILL HIM!" It was a war. My vision turned red pent up rage and anger surging through me.

"This is what you're gonna become! Hell's best torturer. Dad's perfect little soldier." That was it. The blade sank deep into the angel's chest. With a cry he lit up for a moment before the light went out. I stood eyeing the burns on the floor. I turned away from the body only to find her standing there.

"I will not fight you!" She sobbed, dropping the demon knife from her hand. My hand clenched around a gun.

"You're a monster." I raised the gun. The fear in her eyes was clear as day.

"No.." I growled, whiteknucking the gun.

"No..." I repeated, my hand beginning to tremble.

"No no no no NO!" The gun went off.

I shot upright with a loud yell sweat soaking my clothes. A figure was standing by the bed side. In a panicked frenzy I rolled off of the bed taking the gun under my pillow with me. I flipped off the safety and cocked it pointing it at the shape. "Dean it's me!"

Sleep. Who needed sleep. You sat in your bed with your back against the headboard. The TV sound was low as you finished your movie. "That was the worst movie I've ever seen," you grumbled, scooping up the remote and clicking it off. You rolled to the side assuming a sitting position on the side of your bed. Your fingers gripped the sheets for a moment before you stood up letting out a sigh. You stretched your arms above your head before walking to your door. You opened it quietly and stepped your socked feet out into the hallway. The lighting was dim due to the night setting that it was currently in. The hallways always stayed lit no matter the time of day. You began to pace down the hallway trying to decide where you wanted to go. You found yourself walking past Sam's room. His door was open. You paused for a moment spotting a second shape in Sam's bed. You recognized the angel who was propped up against the headboard watching over Sam. You smiled softly as Castiel's gaze met yours for a moment. It was common to find Cas watching over you or the boys at night. There had been pleanty of times you'd almost shot him in the middle of the night, but for the most part you didn't mind.

Sam had actually set out another pillow for Cas. Dean was the only one who didn't like Castiel watching over him. You walked away from the room passing a few empty bedrooms before stepping into another section of the hallway. A strange noise caught your attention. Groaning? You carefully made your way toward the sound only to stop outside of Dean's room. The door was cracked open, but not enough to see inside. You stood outside for a moment longer. The groaning came again this time more clearly. It sounded like Dean was in pain.

You knocked gently on the door slowly pushing it open. "Dean?" What met your eyes made your heart shatter. Dean laid asleep his muscles tense. He was jerking in his sleep pained sounds coming from his parted lips. His breathing was heavy and his brows were pulled tight in distress. He was muttering words that you couldn't make out.

You pondered for a moment whether or not to wake him and made your decision. He'd drawn you out of many nightmares and you wanted to return the favor. You slowly got closer as Dean rolled partly onto his side. His left arm was drawn over his waist and the other was lying against the bed. His head jerked up and pushed itself back down into the pillow. His right hand was clenched into a tight fist the knuckles going white with pressure. "Dean," you called, reaching out to him. You weren't sure how to wake him, but you expected there to be a jump when he did. His shoulder tensed more under your touch before relaxing a bit.

You noticed the sweat soaking his shirt against the palm of your hand. "Dean wake up." You shook his shoulder letting go as he rolled flat onto his back. He groaned again this one coming out as more of a growl. His body tensed again leaving him writhering on the bed. You reached over and grabbed both of his shoulders. This time he didn't relax.

"Dean! Dean wake up!" You called, shaking him again.

"No.. No..." He muttered, tossing his head back and forth.

"Dean!" You jumped back as he shot upright with a loud cry. Within a split second he was off the other side of the bed with his gun pointed at you. You raised your hands in surrender.

"Dean it's me!" you said, keeping your hands out in front of you. He slowly lowered the gun and you followed dropping your hands to your sides.

"What- why are you in here?" he growled, setting the gun on his nightstand. He ran a hand over his face in an attempt to clear away the sweat. You turned away from him and walked into his joined bathroom. You snatched a towel from the wrack and walked over to him.

"You were having a nightmare," you stated, as he took the towel. He held it in his hands, eventually wiping his face, hands, and arms.

"I was up and heard you from the hall," you added. You grabbed a fresh short sleeved shirt from his dresser and tossed it at him. You kept your distance. He eyed you for a moment before sitting the towel on the bed. He slid the wet shirt over his head dropping it on the floor. You couldn't help but take his appearance in. He flicked on the lamp on his nightstand adding to the dim hallway light that pooled into the room. The sweat glistened across his body. He picked up the towel and dried himself off before throwing the towel on the floor as well.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You asked, as he slipped on the clean shirt.

"No," he grunted, sitting down on the bed. He placed his elbows on his knees burying his face in his hands. Dean had brought you out of many nightmares. Sometimes you'd tell him about it, but the times you wouldn't he'd embrace you in a hug to comfort you. You paced over and stood in front of him your body almost touching his head. You crouched down a bit and took his chin between your thumb and forefinger. He lifted his head with your movement. You slowly stood bringing him to an upright position.

"Hey, it's okay," you murmured. You could feel the clench in his jaw as you slipped your hand across it resting your hand on his cheek. His expression softened. You looked down at him offering him a gentle smile. Without a word he leaned forward his face pressing against your collar bone. You wrapped your arms across the back of his neck signaling that you were here. With your silent permission his arms snaked around your back pulling you between his now parted legs and against his chest. You rested your chin on his head shifting to plant a kiss into his hair. You stayed there. He was shaking. You hugged a little tighter and he returned it pulling your even closer to him.

This was a rare sight. You'd loved Dean for a long time and you took every chance to show it and be near him, but him returning that was rare. There had been a few times where he showed you how he felt about you, but each time he pushed you away after. You understood why. He was afraid to get close to you or to anyone. This life was filled with death and he'd admitted that it would be easier to keep his distance. No attachments is what he'd told you.

You raised one of your hands to gently stroke his hair hoping to settle his shaking. "Was it about the mark again?" you questioned, calmly. He nodded against your collar bone his fingers lightly gripping the fabric of your shirt. It had only been a few weeks since he'd gotten rid of the mark, but the memories and the feelings still bothered him often. With Amara out there somewhere seemed to make him even more tense.

"Is there anything I can do?" You asked. He lifted his head causing you to shift your arms to his shoulders. Your gaze met his. Amusement flashed in you as you watched his pupils expand the longer he looked at you. One of his hands came up resting on your cheek. You leaned into his touch your eyes staying with his. After a moment his hand moved to the back of your neck gently bringing you down. He captured your lips with his causing your eyes to immediately flutter shut. This wasn't the first kiss you'd shared with him, but it was the first where he started it. He glided against you setting a steady pace between you.

His other hand rested on the back of your thigh giving it a squeeze. You understood. Without parting you carefully placed yourself on his upper thighs. His hands slid around your back again pulling you flush against his chest. Your arms were around his neck helping to secure his hold. You finally broke away breathless.

"I need-" he hesitated.

"I'm scared.." Surprise washed over you. Dean? Scared? That was new.

"Of?" You questioned, staying in your place.

"Losing you.." You ran a hand over his cheek again reassuringly thumbing his skin.

"I'm not going anywhere Dean," you assured.

"I just... This thing with Amara- this bond.. I'm scared, I'm scared it'll-" he hesitated, sucking in a shaky breath.

"Hey, listen to me." You drew his attention to you.

"I'm not leaving you Dean and I'll be damned if Amara thinks she can take you away from us, from me," you explained.

"I love you Dean and nothing is going to change that not even her," you assured. You pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"I- I love you too." That wasn't what you were expecting. Dean drew you in for another kiss. It was short but filled with passion.

"Stay with me?" He asked.

"Of course." You slid off of him and onto the bed. He followed laying down and making himself comfortable on his side. You curled up against his chest tucking your head under his chin. His arms came around you locking you in. He needed to know what was real and that is what you intended to give him.

Forever Taglist:

@morrioghainfae @xaviersmutcnt @raindrops-on-roses142

#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x female reader #supernatural imagine #supernatural

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ratwrites · 5 years ago

Text

Lies In Paradise 2/2

Requests.

Masterlist.

Prompt/s: "I don't need a babysitter."

Summary: Sam stays with (Y/N) after the Jinn attack.

Warnings: Lil angst? Fluff

Pairing: Sam Winchester X Reader

Word Count: 3,987

A/N: Not gonna lie I totally lost interest in this ;-; So this is just a little quick happy ending thing. I'm working on some other things to get my creative juices flowing. Trying to write through my block

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I carried her outside panic clenching hard on my heart while guilt tugged at my gut. This my was fault... I shouldn't have let her go alone. She was limp in my arms as I carried her to the impala. I glanced back spotting Dean close behind me. In one arm he held a young boy and in his other was a girl about her size. The boy was wide awake while the girl seemed a little out of it. I carefully opened the back door letting Dean slide his load in first. I didn't want to let go of her.

"Come on Sam, we've got to get them to the hospital," Dean growled. I convinced myself to let go setting her in the back seat. The other girl gently laid her across her lap. I gave her a nod of thanks before closing the door and getting into the passenger seat.

I sat in the hospital waiting room with Dean. My arms rested across my knees allowing my head to hang. My mind was racing. I shouldn't have let her go alone. I ran a hand through my hair the panic still holding onto my heart. I couldn't calm down. "Dylan?" My head shot up. Dean and I jumped out of or seats and headed toward the doctor.

"How is she? Is she alright?" I asked, nervously.

"And how are the kids?" Dean added.

"They're all doing fine. You found them just in time. If your friend or the girl would've lost anymore blood there would be nothing to help them," he explained, calmly. I let out a sigh of relief my heart relaxing a little.

"Their parents have been called. Thank you both," the doctor added, bowing his head.

"May we see her?" I questioned, running a hand through my hair again. The doctor nodded before walking away. We followed after him until he stopped outside her door.

"You check on her, I'm going to check on the kids," Dean said. I nodded and went into her room. To my surprise she was awake.

"Hey Sam," she rasped, turning her head toward me.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, coming to her bedside. I stood only for a moment before pulling a chair over. She coughed, looking away for a moment.

"Little tired, but I've had worse," she chuckled, roughly. Her voice was weak and hoarse. I frowned slightly.

"I'm so sorry-"

"Don't start." She cut me off. I tilted my head in confusion.

"It isn't- your fault Sam," she said. I opened my mouth to speak, but she cut me off.

"I let my guard down when I saw the girl. That was my mistake," she explained.

"But I-"

"Sam, I went alone because I wanted to. It isn't your fault. I can see it in your eyes- you're blaming yourself... And you don't need to," she finished. I breathed in to speak again but silenced myself as her hand gently rested over mine. Without thinking I shifted intertwining our fingers.

The softest smile I'd ever seen crossed her perfect lips. The panic left me and was replaced with warmth. I stroked her thumb with mine taking a monent to scan my gaze over her face. She was paler than she normally was, but the color was slowly returning to her cheeks and face. Her eyes sparkled even through the dull color that currently occupied her eyes. Her smile held sending butterflies into my stomach. Only one person had ever made me experience such happiness in the roughest times. My heart sank slightly. She was another fine example of how people got hurt around me. I slowly released her hand looking away.

"It's funny... The Jinn showed me everything I've ever wanted.." She huffed, looking up at the ceiling. I turned my gaze back to her.

"What did it show you?" I asked, curiously. She let out a puff of laughter.

"I had my family.. I was married and I lived a normal life as an art teacher..." She sighed, sadness crossing her expression. I stayed silent.

"I had everyone.. My sister, my brothers, my dad, Dean..." She hesitated. "You."

I raised my brows in surprise. My curiosity continued to grow as did my hopes. I'd tried to bury the feelings I had for her, but everytime I thought I was in the clear she'd do something else to remind me of how perfect she was. I'd wanted to tell her for a long time, but I couldn't.

"We had a dog," she added, laughing again. My ears caught at we. We? What did she mean we? When she says married.. Did she mean us? I tried to clear my head. Her eyes met mine and I held it.

"I wanted to stay honestly.." She murmured, looking away her smile fading.

"I had everything I ever could've had..." The question pushed at me.

"Why didn't you?" She looked back at me catching my gaze again.

"I-" she looked away for a moment before catching me again.

"I saw a little boy... When- when I grabbed him I heard..." she hesitated.

"Heard what?" I encouraged.

"I heard you.. Yelling for me.." She continued. My heart stopped.

"I could hear you for a split second calling out to me..." I didn't know what to say so instead I waited.

"I couldn't leave you, which is ironic because you tried to stop me from going too," she huffed. I couldn't help myself as I reached forward taking her hand in mine once more. She squeezed my hand lightly. Her face was sad and it broke me.

"Plus, apparently Dean didn't give me my bracelet and I couldn't live without that damn thing," she giggled, trying to lighten the mood. The sadness on her face only faded a little.

"Damn right you couldn't. You never take it off for christ sake." Dean's voice startled me. I wasn't sure how long he'd been there, but I didn't really care. He came to stand next to me resting a hand on my shoulder. I didn't let go of her hand and she didn't pull away.

"How are ya kid?" Dean asked, calmly.

"I've been better," she said, coughing briefly. Dean chuckled.

"Both of the kids are going to be okay. The little boy is actually going to be discharged in the morning. The Jinn barely got anything out of him before we got there," Dean explained, looking back at the door.

"What about the girl I saw when I got there?" She questioned, sitting up a little more.

"She'll be released in a week or so, but we can get you released now if you want," Dean replied. She let out a sigh of relief.

"Get me the hell out of here. I hate hospitals," she pleaded. I frowned looking up at Dean.

"Maybe that isn't such a good idea. We've got a long drive ahead of us and you need to rest," I countered. She frowned playfully at me.

"I can sleep in the car, plus, isn't there an angel back at the bunker?" She corrected. She had a point. Cas could definitely get her back on her feet in a matter of seconds.

"I'll go get the discharge papers then," Dean said, before wandering out of the room. I turned my full attention back to her looking her over again.

"Are you sure you want to do this? You shouldn't really be up and about so soon." I was concerned about her. She rolled her eyes.

"Help me sit up, will you?" I stood from the chair pushing it aside. I gently reached behind her splaying my hand along her back as she began to sit up. My other hand was braced on her shoulder to steady her. She seemed to tense under my touch which was odd. She shifted with a grunt swinging her legs off of the bed. A nurse entered the room with Dean on her heels. The nurse frowned, but began to unhook her from the machines, silently. I stepped aside taking my place next to Dean.

"Are we sure about this?" I questioned, glancing at my brother.

"She said she wanted out so that is what we're doing. I agree Sam, she shouldn't be going anywhere, but I can remember being in her position and I didn't want to be stuck in a bed either," Dean replied, eyeing her.

"Your clothes are in the drawer miss, and the bathroom is just over there," the nurse instructed. She nodded in response digging out her clothes. Instinctively I moved to her side gently taking her arm and helping her toward the bathroom. Once inside I stood in the doorway.

"You gonna stand there or close the door?" She spoke, drawing me from my blank state. My cheeks flushed a light shade of pink as I backed up closing the door. I sighed and walked back over to Dean.

"I hate it," Dean said, suddenly. I glanced over at him giving him a confused look.

"She shouldn't of had to go through that. Coming out of a Jinn's trance is hard," he explained.

"She shouldn't have gone alone. You should've gone with her," Dean continued, blame evident in his voice. The guilt bit at my gut again causing me to look down at my feet. The bathroom door opened drawing my glance. She was wearing the same clothes that were dirty from the warehouse. Dean approached her offering her his arm.

"Shall we?" She hesitated casting a weary glance my way before reluctantly taking Dean's arm. He began to lead her and I followed behind at a sulking pace.

The drive back to the bunker was quiet. She'd fallen asleep about an hour in which gave Dean time to call Cas. I stared in the side mirror watching her sleep behind my seat with her head rested against the cool window. Her face held the same expression it did when we found her. I looked away watching the road ahead as we pulled into the bunker's gravel driveway.

Dean drove the impala into the garage parking it. I unbuckled and reached over the seat resting a hand on her knee. I shook it gently. I swiftly let go as she shot up from the window with a gasp.

"Whoa easy," Dean said, looking back at her. We got out of the car and I helped her. She leaned against me as we walked allowing me to guide her steps.

"You okay?" I asked, gently. She didn't answer only leaning harder against my side. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder keeping her safely locked against me as we walked. I understood her silence. I'd learned the hard way not to push the matter if she didn't want to discuss it.

Cas met us at the entrance to the library taking her from my side and sitting her down in one of the wooden chairs.

"Can you heal her?" Dean questioned, knowing full well that Cas could. Castiel nodded.

"I'd like to look at the full extend of what the Jinn did to you if that's alright," Castiel began, placing his hand on her forehead. She nodded her approval closing her eyes. We watched in silence as a dim light glowed from his palm. I could make out the movement of her eyes under her eyelids. Cas was reading her. Her grip on the chair tightened suddenly before her eyes shot open with another gasp. Castiel pulled his hand back. I took a worried step forward, but paused. Their eyes met and a sympathic look crossed Castiel. Cas sent me the same glance for a moment rising more questions in me. What did he see? Why did he look at me? What scared her?

"Relax for me again," Castiel ordered. With a shaky breath she closed her eyes again. Castiel repeated the same movements except this time the color returned to her face and cheeks. He backed off again and her eyes opened. Their bright color had returned as well.

"You should get some rest. You may feel unwell for a day or two," Castiel suggested. She yawned clearly not going to argue.

"Cas, can I talk to you?" The angel looked toward Dean and nodded before following him out of the room. She stood from the chair swaying a little on her feet. I didn't ask as I took my place at her side again offering her my arm to help her walk. She took it without hesitation.

I walked her to her room and opened the door for her. I helped her to her bed sitting her down. I had to try.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked, quietly. She shook her head before lying herself down. I took that as my cue.

"If you need anything I'm just down the hall," I offered. She didn't respond. I left her room closing the door behind me. Castiel met me outside my own room which was just down the hall from hers.

"Sam, it would be wise to give her some space," Castiel encouraged.

"After what she has gone through and what she has seen it would be unwise to push your presence on her," he added, almost as if he was threatening me. I let out a sigh.

"Can you tell me what she saw?" My mind replayed the things she had said in the hospital, but I still had unanswered questions bouncing in the back of my mind. He shook his head firmly before walking away. I went into my room closing the door. I was tired. I dropped stomach first onto my bed not bothering to make myself comfortable as I very quickly drifted off.

I jolted awake to a loud cry and a thud. I snatched my gun from under my pillow and ran from my room searching for the noise. My eyes were tired with sleep, but I forced them open alarm going through me. The cry sounded again signaling that it was from her room. I moved swiftly and quietly down the hall my gun drawn and ready. With one movement I opened her door. In the dark I could make out her form on the floor sitting with her legs drawn up to her chest.

I entered the room sitting my gun on her dresser. I dropped down in front of her and reached out for her. She jumped and scrambled back for a moment. I could make out the fear glazing her eyes. "Hey, hey, it's just me, you're-" I grunted as she lunged forward her arms sliding around my neck. Her face buried itself between her arm and my neck. I stayed on my knees wrapping one arm around her lower back and the other across her shoulder blades. Her body trembled against me. I pressed my face into her shoulder rubbing my thumb against her lower back.

I didn't speak as I held onto her taking in the moment. She'd never clung to me like this before and it was odd. After a few minutes she slowly began to let go. I didn't want to, but I followed her lead. I stood up helping her back onto her feet. She sat on the edge of the bed taking her face in her hands. I stood in front of her staring down at her.

"Are you okay?" I asked. Shock washed over me again as she reached out and gripped my shirt pulling me to stand between her parted legs. She wrapped her arms around my lower back burying her face into my shirt. I hesitated for a moment before letting my arms fall on her shoulders tucking her closer. She shook her head against me giving me an answer to my question. I rubbed circled into her left shoulder blade hoping to calm her down. She was still shaking against me.

"I keep seeing it..." she muttered, into my shirt. She pulled back letting go of me. I followed. Her eyes met mine.

"I keep- I keep seeing it everytime I close my eyes..." she repeated. I placed myself next to her on the bed positioning myself so that I was facing her.

"Seeing what?" I asked.

"All of it... The life, the people... the escape." A chill ran up her spine at the last words. I stayed silent showing her that she had my full attention. She gulped avoiding eye contact.

"Everytime I close my eyes I see my family, my dad and my sister.. And I keep seeing your mom and dad... Along with you and Dean," she began. I was surprised that John and Mary were in this, but I didn't say anything.

"I keep seeing my sister happily married to.." She paused the anticipation of her answer tugging at me.

"To Dean..." I raised a brow.

"I keep seeing..." she paused again looking in a different direction.

"It's alright," I encouraged, carefully taking her hand in my own. She squeezed my hand a little.

"Us.. I keep seeing us," she said, finally. I tilted my head. Her gaze suddenly met mine in an intense stare.

"We were married Sam," she blurted, tears stinging her eyes. My own eyes widened in surprise my grip on her hand loosening.

"Oh God..." She choked. She stood up pulling away from me.

"I tried so desperately not to... but after I saw that, I can't just forget," she continued, turning to face me. I didn't move from the bed still shocked by her words.

"We were so happy Sam... and I- and I gave it up," she sobbed, turning her back to me again. I slowly stood realization hitting me. She left because of me. She had the perfect life with everything, yet she left it to come back to me.

"You begged me not to go... But I couldn't. He wasn't Sam, he was just- just a dream." Her voice cracked causing my heart to clench.

"So I-" she paused again. I took a few steps toward her. Her hands came up to rest near her collar bone.

"So I slit my throat.." My heart dropped. Dean hadn't ever told me how he managed to wake up from the trance. I suppose when you die in a dream you wake up. She turned to face me once more her head hanging low and her shoulders trembling with each sob. I came forward until I was in front of her again. I reached out and pulled her close trapping her against my chest. Her hands stayed curled between our bodies as she cried.

The feelings I had buried were surging back tenfold. Her fingers tangled into the fabric of my shirt. I continued to rub circles into her back until she relaxed her sobbing calmed down.

"What's going on?" Dean's voice suddenly called. She pulled back from me looking at Dean who stood in her doorway.

"I- I had a nightmare, that's all," she muttered. Dean's cold stare met mine.

"You okay? I know it can be rough after something like that." Dean stayed at the doorway.

"I'm fine." she defended, taking a step back. Her body brushed against mine.

"Best thing to do is to go back to sleep. Yes, you'll probably have another nightmare, but the more you sleep the faster it wears off," Dean explained.

"I can stay with you if you'd like?" Dean suggested. She turned and walked away from the two of us sitting down on her bed. I turned my back to Dean watching her.

"I don't need a babysitter," she warned, looking away from us. I glanced back to Dean who was staring daggers into my back.

"Alright, if you need anything yell." Without another word Dean left. My heart ached for her. Dean was her best friend, yet she was pushing him away. The silence in the room was overwhelming. I had so many questions and so many things I wanted to say, but when I opened my mouth all of those words stayed trapped in my throat.

"Dean's right... I should just go back to sleep," she muttered, looking down at her feet.

"You need to rest anyway, Cas said you shouldn't be up and about for a few days," I agreed.

"I- I'll let you-"

"Please don't leave me," she whined, her head shooting up to look at me. I stared at her for a moment. She'd told Dean she didn't need someone to watch her, yet she was asking me to stay.

"Please." Her voice was so soft. My mind trailed back to what Cas had said to me. He'd warned me to stay away. Screw him. As I walked back to her bed she slid further onto it making herself comfortable on her side. We'd slept in the same bed pleanty of times, but this was different. I sat on the bed leaning my back against the headboard. She moved closer almost snuggling herself against my leg. After a moment I couldn't contain myself. I slid down onto my own side facing her. She flipped the covers over me trapping our bodies under them.

"You don't- have to do this... I understand if what I told you..." She paused.

"If what you told me...?"

"Makes you uncomfortable." She thought that I didn't care about her. She thought that the feelings she had were one sided.

"No, no it doesn't." I had to reassure her. I scooted closer pulling her to me. I draped one arm over her side locking her in.

"I'm glad you told me," I murmured, catching her weary gaze.

"I know with this job, this life, we are supposed to keep the ones we love far away. We can't afford attachments... But I can't keep you away. I can't keep pretending like these feelings... These feelings don't exist," I admitted. Her eyes widened.

"You aren't the only one who has been burying things.." I finished. The silence that fell between us was comforting. Our eyes never left each others.

"Sam I-" she hesitated. I opened my mouth to question, but was stunned to silence as she suddenly moved capturing my lips with hers. Butterflies exploded in my stomach causing me to kiss back. My eyes slid closed allowing myself to take in everything. I'd wanted this for a long time. She shifted her position keeping us together as she pushed my shoulder. I followed her silent comand and rolled onto my back taking her with me. Her upper body rested on mine her arm bracing herself on my chest.

Our kiss finally broke leaving both of us breathless. I opened my eyes to look up at her. Her hair hung down over her shoulders almost touching my face. I reached up brushing a section of it behind her ear. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead causing me to lean upward into it. She moved back shifting her position until her head rested over my heart. I let one arm slide further up her back holding her close against my side. One of her hands lightly gripped the fabric of my shirt while the other took my free hand intertwining our fingers. I could've sworn I was melting under her touch. She snuggled closer causing my heart rate to flutter. She giggled tiredly her ear resting directly over my heart. "Relax Sam, I don't bite," she yawned. My cheeks turned a light shade of pink.

"You should try and sleep," I mumbled.

"I'm trying, but your voice is rumbling my entire head," she pouted. I couldn't help but chuckle. She raised her head for a moment giving me a playful glare before laying her head back down.

"Thank you for staying with me Sam.." She yawned, taking one last moment to cuddle against me.

"Anything for you," I replied, letting my own eyes slide closed.

Forever Taglist:

@rosierosieelain @xaviersmutcnt @raindrops-on-roses142

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ratwrites · 5 years ago

Text

Lies In Paradise 1/2

Requests.

Masterlist.

Prompt/s: "I guess this is goodbye?"

Summary: You are captured by a Jinn and must leave behind everything you've ever wanted.

Warnings: Suicide

Pairing: Sam Winchester X Reader

Word Count: 6376

A/N: I'm not ready for this show to end ;-; I'm currently rewatching it so I decided to finally write some Sam stuff!

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Fairfield Illinois, a small forgotten town that you'd never been to in your entire life. That was one of the perks of hunting; traveling all over was a weekly deal. You pulled yourself out of the backseat of your car stifling a yawn. The nine hour drive had been death on your body. You'd made the mistake of driving straight into the night, but you were also the idiot who left hours after everyone else.

You shut your car door and headed to the back unlocking the trunk. You grabbed your duffle bag and shut the trunk before heading to the motel office. You opened the door the bell above it drawing the attention of an older man.

"Looking to stay for the night?" He questioned.

"Actually, I already have a room booked, should be under the name Dylan," you answered, lazily. The man flipped through an old book for a moment before nodding. He reached down under the counter and handed you a room key labled 5.

"Your uh- friends went to the diner I think," the man added, before you could leave. You'd seen the diner on the way in, it wasn't hard to miss considering it was right next to the motel, but you hadn't bothered to look for their car due to your exhaustion. You bowed your head in thanks before leaving the office in search of your room. You spotted the door labeled 5 right off the bat and headed over to it. With a push of the key and a soft click of the door you were inside.

You closed and locked the door behind you before tossing your stuff down onto the floor. Their stuff was placed on the two beds as if claiming their sleeping spots. You sighed and moved to the furthest bed tossing the heavy bag off into the floor. Screw them you wanted to sleep.

You sat down on the edge of the bed removing the knife from inside your boot before untying and kicking your combat boots off. You rolled up your right pant leg and removed the small handgun hidden in a holster. With a yawn you crawled all the way onto the bed and flopped sliding the gun under the single pillow. You rolled onto your stomach your arms burying themselves under the pillow as well. While one hand loosely gripped the gun the other touched a small bracelet on your wrist.

Another yawn left your lips as you allowed your eyes to slide closed. You swore if they woke you when they got back you'd kill them.

...

You stirred from your sleep as the bed dipped down. Your instincts reacted swiftly your fingers shifting and positioning themselves dangerously around the gun. With careful movements you turned your head to the side your body instantly relaxing at the silhouette sitting next to you.

"Need me to move over?" You mumbled, making the shape jump.

"Didn't mean to wake you up," he whispered.

"Sam, you're fat. If you didn't want to wake me then crawling into with me bed was your first mistake," you snorted, through a yawn.

This was your first case with the Winchesters in a while. Well, it wasn't like you hadn't been with them, it's just that no hunts seemed to be coming up. You'd been friends with the boys since the first round of the apocalypse. You'd spent a lot of time with them eventually moving into the bunker with them. If heaven could've been on earth, it was in that bunker with them.

When you'd first met the boys you had barely gotten to know Sam before he took a trip to hell. You spent time with the older Winchester during Sam's time in hell. Even after the younger brother returned it had been hard for you to connect with him like you had with Dean. Though once the Winchester had recovered his soul you grew to care about him. Eventually your caring had turned into crushing, which you tried to push aside. In this life, you couldn't have connections, but Sam seemed to widle his way in whether you liked it or not. You two had been dancing around each other for months, but each too scared to act.

A quiet chuckle left the brother's mouth as you pulled yourself to the edge of the bed giving the Moose man room to lay down comfortably. Once he settled down you moved back a little until your back rested comfortably against his. His heat warmed your body. "So, you two find out anything?" You questioned, nuzzling your head into the pillow.

"Not much. The victims have nothing in common whatsoever. It's almost like they're normal kidnappings except for the one body that was found," Sam answered, quietly. The only body found had been drained of all it's blood. At first you thought it might have been a vampire, but Sam had called you mid drive to tell you that they'd checked the place out and there were no signs of vampires anywhere, not to mention the body only had one puncture wound on the neck.

"Can you two discuss this in the morning please? I want to sleep," Dean's rough voice grumbled. You giggled lightly.

"Goodnight Dean," you teased. He didn't respond, but you heard the shuffle of his bed which indicated that he rolled over probably with his back to your bed. You closed your eyes allowing yourself to drift back to sleep.

You woke up at the crack of dawn your body complaining from the three and a half hours of sleep you'd gotten. To your surprise the diner, a Five Brothers, was actually open. You'd gone into the diner with Sam's laptop and ordered yourself some breakfast. Once seated in a booth off in a secluded corner of the restaurant you propped open the laptop and began to scroll through the information the boys had gathered so far.

Once your breakfast arrived you closed the laptop and ate in a peaceful silence. The only other people in the local diner were the workers, a trucker, and an elderly couple that didn't look like they needed to be up this early; then again, you didn't need to be either.

Finishing your breakfast you opened the laptop again and continued to research. The little information they had was making the task of identifying this creature very difficult. You let out a frustrated sigh scanning through the police report again.

"Never seen you in here before." You drew your attention to a young man standing by the booth. He looked like he was maybe nineteen. The young man was around 6'0 his curly mud brown hair messy and unkept. His deep brown eyes stared down at you uncomfortably.

"Just passing through," you replied, coolly. He cocked a brow at you tilting his head slightly.

"I'm Jacob," he said, plopping down into the seat across from you. You frowned turning your attention back to your laptop.

"Not even a name?" he pushed, one of his feet touching yours. You pulled your feet criss cross into your seat shooting him a warning glance.

"I'm way older than you kid, get lost," you huffed, keeping your cool. The kid, Jacob, was the one to frown this time. He didn't budge from his seat.

"Come on, just a name," he urged.

"Look kid, I'm busy, so why don't you run along. Shouldn't you be getting ready for school?" You growled.

"I'm graduated," he defended.

"Good for you and I'm busy," you replied, snappily.

"Everything okay here Agent?" Relief flooded through you at the sound of Sam's tired voice.

"Fine, just going through the case files," you answered, turning your attention toward Sam. The boy didn't budge for a moment.

"That is my partners seat," you said, looking back at him. He angrily got up coming almost face to face with Sam. Even with only a four inch advantage the kid coward away from Sam. Sam slid down into the seat across from you.

"I'm surprised you're up," you commented, putting your feet back down on the floor.

"Well, I noticed that there was something missing," he replied, referring to your back against his. You rolled your eyes playfully. A waitress approached the table.

"Anything I can get for you?" she asked. Sam grabbed the menu from a small holder on the table and flipped through it.

"Black coffee with the Morning Egg Special please," he answered, setting the menu back in the holder. She nodded before hurrying off.

"So, did you make anything out of what we've got?" You shook your head.

"My first thought was still vampire, but you said you've already checked for that," you explained. Sam nodded. The waitress brought Sam his coffee along with a glass of water. Sam thanked her before taking a sip.

"Dean said he had an idea, but refused to spill until he got some sleep," Sam chuckled, taking another sip. You huffed through a smile looking through the information again.

"Where was the body found again?" You asked.

"Outside some wearhouse on North 1st street," Sam answered. You sat quietly for a moment.

"I'm going to drive down there and take a look at the warehouse," you stated, standing up.

"I'll go with you," Sam started. You pointed a finger at him stopping him in place.

"Stay and eat your breakfast Sam. I'll be fine. I'll call if I need anything." Sam let out a reluctant sigh and settled back down in his seat. Without another word you headed out of the diner and back to your car. You slipped into your car and punched in the warehouse directions in your phone.

The drive wasn't too long considering it was a small town. You parked your car outside the warehouse giving it a once over from behind the trunk of your car. You grabbed your gun and slid it inside your coat pocket. A section of the parking lot had been blocked off by police tape indicating that the body had been found there. You were going to look inside. You headed to the front door and picked the lock. Once inside you closed the door behind you. A large empty room rested before you. Toward the back of the warehouse was a staircase leading up to a huge platform. You couldn't see what was on it. Below the platform rested a few doors with scratched off labels. You pulled out your gun and began your tour.

You let out a deep sigh and headed toward the front door. Your search had been fruitless. Your hand fell to the door handle coming to a halt when a loud cry echoed throughout the building. You whipped around swiftly your gun coming to defense. You moved back into the warehouse following the screams and cries that kept coming. You spotted what seemed to be a hidden door. You quickly moved to the door and opened it heading down a flight of stairs and into a poorly lit basement.

Your eyes widened at the sight before you. The missing people had their arms strung from the ceiling a needle pressed into their necks. They were being drained. Your heart dropped as the realization of what this was hit you. You needed to get out of here and fast. You ran toward the screaming girl tucking your gun away.

"Hey hey, easy. Shh," you soothed, trying to calm her down. You reached into your boot and removed your knife. You began to cut her ropes desperate to get her down. Her eyes widened as she screamed again. A hard object struck the back of your head sending you down onto the floor. Hands rolled you onto your back. A tattooed man crouched down over you his eyes glowing an unnaturally blue color. You tried to fight, but your vision and body betrayed you. The blue light from his hand made your heart race as he pressed it against your forehead. Darkness swirled around you until it consumed you.

You woke with a loud gasp shooting upright. You wildly looked around a dark room not able to recognize your surroundings. You looked down noticing your attire. You were wearing sweatpants and a bra. "You okay?" You yelped at the sudden voice jumping away from it. Another cry left your lips as you got tangled in the comforter over you sending you off of the bed and onto the floor.

"Jesus! Are you alright?" The stranger flipped on a light and shuffled off of the bed and to you. You knew that face.

"S-Sam?" You gawked, his lack of clothes catching you off guard. He was wearing a loose pair of sweatpants that hung dangerously low on his hips. You could tell there wasn't anything under them. Your cheeks heated up violently turning a deep shade of pink. He crouched down untangling you and standing you up. His touch on your skin was gentle.

"What- what the hell is going on?" You breathed, looking around.

"I uh- could ask you the same question. Are you okay?" He asked, concern evident in his voice.

"I don't know. Dude, where are we? What the fuck is going on?" You asked, pulling yourself out of his grasp.

"We're at home.. Honey are you Okay?" He asked, again. You froze at the pet name. Sam hadn't ever called you by a pet name before.. Then again Sam had never dressed like that around you before.

"Home?" You walked out of the bedroom surprised to find a house outside the room. You walked down a short hallway and out inside a living space. You stood dumbfounded taking in the change. Off of the living room was a small kitchen along with a family room and a dining room. There were three more rooms down the hallway along with the room at the end which was the one you'd practically ran from. You slowly began to walk around the house until you came to the living room. Your eyes went to a kennel telling you that there was a dog. You gazed around spotting a desk. Slowly you went to the desk noticing pictures that sat on it.

You hesitantly scooped up one of the pictures and turned it toward you. You almost dropped it out of shock and confusion. Sam's arm was wrapped around your waist his lips pressed against yours. You set it down and walked around the desk looking at the other pictures. Every single one of them was you and Sam, all except for one. The picture in the center caught your attention. You picked it up examining it. It was a family photo. On one side rested Sam, Dean, Cas, Bobby, John, Mary, Samuel, and Deanna. On the other rested your, your mother, father, sister, two brothers, and your father. You and Sam were next to each other both clearily dressed for a wedding along with everyone else.

You choked back the tears that dared to spill as you set the picture down.

"Baby?" Sam called, quietly. Your eyes met his as he flipped on the lamp on the desk.

"Oh baby," he cooed, seeing the tears in your eyes. He came around the desk pulling you comfortably against his bare chest. Without thinking you curled into him tucking your arms between his chest and yours. You looked down noticing the ring on your finger. You were married... To Sam...

You pulled back looking up at him. "You okay?" He asked, again.

"I-" you hesitated. "I don't understand... I had just left you to go and check out the case we were working," you began. Sam tilted his head.

"What are you talking about?" He questioned.

"The- the thing we were hunting.." You continued. Sam chuckled.

"Hunting? You hate hunting, remember? Honey, you're tired. You should go back to sleep," he soothed.

"No! Don't you remember?" you yelped.

"It was just a dream love," Sam said, calmly. You shook your head in confusion.

"Come on, let's get you back to bed." Sam took your hands in his gently tugging on you. You didn't fight him allowing him to lead you back to the room you'd woke up in. Maybe it was just a dream. You'd wake up and be back where you had been. You settled onto the bed tensing as Sam pulled you close tucking you safely against his side. He pressed a kiss into your hair making your scalp tingle.

"Sleep love," he encouraged, reaching up to stroke his fingers through your hair. Your body automatically relaxed into his touch. This was all wrong, but you couldn't help but enjoy it while it lasted.

You woke to find yourself in the same room. You sat up quickly looking around again. Light pooled through the bedroom window. A delicious smell hit your nostrils causing you to realize that Sam was nowhere to be found.

"S- Sam?" You called, panicking.

"In the kitchen!" he answered. You climbed out of bed and found a sweatshirt on the floor. You slipped it over your head noting that it was huge on you. You walked out of the room stepping over a baby gate and out into the living space. You didn't know that Sam could cook. A beautiful dog rounded the corner bouncing happily up to you. You couldn't help but bend down to pet it for a moment. You approached the counter that seperated the kicthen from the living room. Sam's eyes met yours.

"I see you've found my sweatshirt," he chuckled, his gaze sliding over what he could see. Your cheeks turned a light shade of pink.

"I thought you'd like some breakfast before you head to work," he explained. You tilted your head.

"Work?" You questioned. Sam looked at you again.

"You did say you had a private art session today, right?" he confirmed. Art student..

"I'm an- art teacher?" You murmured.

"Yep!" Sam chuckled. When you were a kid you'd wanted to be an art teacher, but gave it up for hunting. Hunting had always been apart of your family, but consumed your life after your sister had been torn to shreds by a Banshee. You stood quietly for a moment.

"I canceled it," you said, suddenly. Your memory had gone back to the picture you'd seen last night. Your sister was alive along with your parents. Your mother had died of cancer when you were 19 and your father had a hunt go wrong. It was just you and your two brother's left, but you hadn't heard from them in years and basically assumed they were dead too.

"Why?" Sam asked, curiously. You shrugged.

"Mental health day I suppose," you excused. Sam drew his brow together.

"Are you okay baby? Honestly?" You weren't sure.

"Yeah, I'm fine!" You lied. You walked around the counter and into the kitchen taking a seat in one of the kitchen chairs. Sam left the stove and came to you. He towered over you for a moment before bending down. He tilting your chin up and captured your lips. Sparks shot through your body waking the butterflies in your gut. You'd always wanted to do this... You pulled back when things started to escalate. You didn't want to stop, but this all seemed so wrong. He smiled softly before returning to the food he was making.

You hadn't noticed that you'd picked up your phone until it buzzed in your pocket. You pulled it out seeing "Pain In My Ass" across your screen. You answered it.

"Dean?" You asked.

"Hey! Is Sammy there? He's not answering my calls," Dean replied.

"Um- he's cooking breakfast," you answered, hesitantly. Sam wasn't paying attention.

"Dude, what the hell is going on?" You whispered, trying not to draw Sam's attention.

"What are you talking about?" Dean asked.

"I was in that warehouse checking out our case then the next I woke up next to Sam!" you whispered, urgently. Dean laughed.

"Damn, Sammy was right, whatever dream you had last night really did screw you up didn't it?" You pinched the bridge of your nose your head starting to ache from the confusion. Had everything really been a dream?

"Is that my sister? Tell her I said hi!" You choked on your air as your little sister's voice echoed in the back of the call.

"Lillian says hi," Dean chuckled. You didn't have the words to answer.

"Okay well, tell Sam we'll be a little late tonight Lil's got some stuff to take care of," Dean continued.

"Oh- okay.." You hung up before Dean had the chance to speak again.

"Who was that?" Sam asked, setting a plate of food down in front of you.

"Dean, said he's going to be a little late... Late for what exactly?" You looked up at Sam.

"Did you forget? Tonight is game night," Sam huffed, sitting down in the chair across from you. He dug into his food. You leaned forward and picked through the food. It smelled fantastic and tasted fantastic too, but your appetite was small.

"Game night... Right," you muttered, after a few minutes of picking through your food. You met Sam's concerned gaze.

"Are you sure you're feeling alright? We can cancel if you need to," Sam ensured.

"No! No, that's okay. I'm okay, really Sam," you smiled, fakely. Sam sighed continuing to eat his food. You reached down to your wrist your body going alert. You rolled up the sweatshirt sleeve to find a bare wrist.

"Sam, did I take my bracelet off last night?" You questioned.

"What bracelet?" Your gut turned uneasily.

"The bracelet that Dean gave me for my birthday three years back," you explained, slowly. Sam scoffed.

"Dean wasn't around three years ago Hon," Sam corrected. Your fingers gripped your wrist.

"Right.. Don't know what I was thinking," you muttered. You hadn't taken that bracelet off since the day he'd given it to you. You weren't imagening that. You stood up from your chair and left the kitchen eyeing the dog that sat at the edge of the kitchen.

"Where are you off to?" He called, after you.

"I'm going to go for a walk," you replied. You entered your bedroom and closed the door locking it behind you. You paced for a few moments before pulling out your phone and sitting on the bed. You went through your pictures taking in each one. Ninety percent of them were of you and Sam, but some were pictures with other people from your family. You didn't see one picture with Dean which was odd. Dean was your best friend. He had been from the start. You were closer to Sam, but your love for him wasn't in the friendly sense like it was for Dean. That man had basically become your third brother. You set your phone aside and stripped out of your clothes changing into something different. You slid on a pair of jeans and a Van Halen t-shirt. You were surprised that there was no plaid in your closet nor Sam's. That was another red flag.

You rifled through your closet in search of your combat boots only to come up empty. You frowned settling on a pair of tennis shoes. You headed out of the room moving through the house and to the front door.

"Want me to come with you?" Sam called, as you grabbed the door handle.

"I'm good, thanks!" You answered. You opened the door and stepped outside. You backed up getting a good look at the house itself. It was a small brick house with a one car garage on the side. The yard around it was small, yet big enough for you. You glanced around the area not recognizing what town you were in. You pulled out your phone and clicked on your map.

"California?" You zoomed out on the map your eyes catching on one destination. Stanford University. That was the school Sam had been going to.. You tucked your phone back into your pocket and began to walk.

You'd wandered for hours eventually making your way back to your home. To your surprise Sam was outside along with the gorgeous dog. The dog was the first to notice you. It let out a loud bark before racing to meet you at the edge of the yard. You crouched down running your hands through its soft fur. You'd always wanted a dog. Sam jogged over to meet you as you stood up. Before you could speak he took you in for a soft peck.

"Thought you'd be gone all night!" he teased. You followed him back up to the house the dog trotting next to you.

"Yep, I planned to walk all night," you responded, quickly. Tossing sarcasm was something you and Sam always did, though you had to admit, Dean was better at matching your sarcasm. You gut clenched as you stood at the front door allowing Sam to hold it open. Your eyes met Sam's. The light in his eyes was almost blinding to you. The smile he offered you melted your heart. You couldn't help but return the smile before walking inside with Sam on your tail.

"So, we've got two hours before everyone shows up, anything you'd like to do?" Sam asked, grabbing your waist and spinning you around. You squeaked as your body collided with his. His other hand snaked around your lower back pulling you closer. Your eyes met his again sending chills down your spine. His pupils dilated slightly the longer he stared at you. It was odd, this look was familiar to you. He leaned down catching your lips in a breathtaking kiss. You couldn't help but lean further into him your hands finding his stomach.

You were hesitant for a moment until Sam suddenly moved. His strong arms moved down gripping the underside of your thighs. With one swift motion you were off of your feet. Without a thought you wrapped your legs around his waist hooking your ankles as best as you could. Everything was right. You attacked Sam's lips your confidence building as he manuvered through the house and back to the bedroom.

His knees hit the bed sending him down. Your back landed against the soft bed and to your surprise Sam caught himself above you. He stared down at you his pupils dilating. Your body heated up under his intense gaze. The feelings you'd been desperately pushing down had sprung free.

You slid out of bed and dressed yourself as the doorbell rang. Your body was tired, but pleased. You glanced over at Sam who still slept peacefully his body curved to where you had been. You smiled softly before heading out of the room. The dog was barking at the door in a high pitched tone. You opened the inside door your heart stopping at the sight.

Dean pulled the glass outside door open and engulfed you in a friendly hug.

"Where's Sam?" Dean asked, letting you go.

"He's... He's in the bedroom," Dean smiled and headed that way.

"Dean I wouldn't do that!" You called, over your shoulder. You briefly heard Sam yelling before different arms embraced you. Your full attention was on them. They were soft and familiar, yet strange. You pulled back your heart clenching in your chest. Your sister stood before you grown and alive.

"Sis?" You gulped.

"Hey girl," she smiled, happily. You embraced her again burying your face into the crook of her neck.

"Geez, you act like you haven't seen me in years!" She giggled, pushing you off.

"Okay girls, reunion out of the doorway please!" You honestly hadn't noticed your brothers behind her along with John, Mary, and your father. You forced yourself to step back allowing them all inside. You hadn't been around to meet John, but you'd heard a lot about him that made you bitter toward him. They said their hellos each one hugging you.

"Hey dad," you murmured, as he approached you. He wrapped his arms around you making your warm up happily. This was perfect. He released you as Sam and Dean entered the room.

"Seems like you two had a little fun before we got here," Dean teased, finding a seat on one of the couches in the living room. Your sister sat next to him snuggling against his side. You stared blankly at them for a moment before you realized she had a ring as well. She married Dean? Your head ached slightly. Your brothers sat on the floor by the glass coffee table in the center of the room. John and Mary took a seat next to your sister while your father sat down in the secluded chair by the larger couch. Sam took a seat on the smaller couch that sat across from the larger one. You stood in the room taking in each member in the room.

"You gonna stand there all night or are we gonna play?" Dean laughed, drawing you out of your trance.

You shook yourself before moving to sit by Sam. Everyone was staring at you. Sam let out a low chuckle before he stood and fetched the games from a closet by the front door.

"Take it easy, she's a bit tired," Sam explained, setting the games on the table. Dean let our a hearty laugh. You'd never heard him laugh this much and the night was only getting started.

Hours had passed since your family had arrived. Everyone was laughing, yelling, and in your brother's case, crying over a loss. Everyone had settled in getting drinks and snacks for themselves. You laughed along with them as you set down your hand of cards. Dean growled under his breath passing you a twenty.

"Thank you!" You teased. Everyone laughed at Dean making you smile widely.

"Another round?" John asked. Everyone agreed, allowing Sam to shuffle and pass out the cards.

"I'll be back, I'm going to go get my sweatshirt, it's a bit chilly in here," you announced, standing up. You headed to your bedroom as their new game started. You picked up Sam's sweatshirt sliding it over your head. A scream left your lips as a young boy stood in front of you. His skin was pale as if he was dead. You stumbled backwards your back hitting the dresser against the wall. You heard a loud thud as Sam hurtled the babygate.

"Babe!" He was at your side in moments. His hands gripped you causing you to jump. You pushed him away your eyes leaving the boy. You whipped around only for the boy to disappear.

"What's wrong?" He asked, offering his hands in surrender. You looked between Sam and where the boy had been.

Dean, your father, and John stood in the doorway concern on their faces.

"I- I saw something.." You rasped, trying to calm your breathing.

"Hey, hey it's alright," Sam soothed.

"Did you see something outside the window?" Dean questioned. You nodded going along with it. You couldn't tell them.

Dean looked at the others.

"I'll go check it out." With that they left the bedroom and headed outside your brothers tagging along as they went outside. Sam cautiously reached for you guiding you to sit on the bed. He sat next to you.

"Are you sure you're alright? You've been acting strange since that nightmare you had last night." His concern was genuine. You didn't answer him as you leaned against him. Sam understood and wrapped his arm securely around your shoulder. The small ache in your head grew. Sam's hand rubbed reassuring circles against your arm.

After a few minutes Dean and your father returned to the room. "Anything?" Sam enquired, tilting his head slightly. Dean shook his head.

"Nothing, not even a sign that something was out there," your father piped. You snuggled further into Sam. Your husband let out a sigh.

"Stay here love. You should get some rest," Sam encouraged, slowly standing from the bed. You didn't protest as he followed Dean and your father out of the room closing the door gently behind him. You stayed in your spot tuning in on their conversation.

"Is she okay?" your father asked.

"I don't know... She's been acting strange ever since last night," Sam answered.

"Strange?"

"She had a really bad nightmare last night. It left her completely out of it. She didn't know where she was, what was going on, and she said we'd been hunting something." Silence followed for a moment.

"Maybe we should all call it a night," Dean suggested. The door opened again revealing Sam.

"Everyone's going to head home, would you like to wish them off?" Sam asked. You shook your head.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," you snapped, coming off harsher than you'd intended. Sam closed the door. You ran your hands through your hair your head aching. Your instincts were returning to you. You couldn't let this thing trick you anymore than it already had.

"They're not real... They're not real!" you repeated, standing suddenly. You began to pace trying to focus on the last thing you truly remembered. You had been hunting a monster. You desperately tried to think back. Sam had told you about Dean's run in with a Jinn. It had made his dreams come true. You wracked your brain trying to remember how Dean freed himself. You let out a frustrated groan pacing the room. You paused in your movements and closed your eyes. You opened them only to see the little boy again. Instead of panicking you walked toward him. You reached out grabbing ahold of him.

Yells echoed through your head causing you to let go. You recognized the voice but couldn't quite put a name to it. The boy was gone. You stumbled back hearing the door behind you open.

"Babe?" You pinpointed the voice. It had been Sam's. You turned to this Sam. You were conflicted. He seemed so real... You approached him reaching up and touching his cheek. The light stubble scratched against your hand. He was as real as you were. Your heart sunk as his warm hand came to rest over yours. All of your dreams were here... Your sister was alive and well, she even got married to your best friend. Your family was back together again and so was theirs. Sam, the man you loved, returned your love was you were married! You pulled back from him looking at the ground. This wasn't your place. Your Sam was looking for you. You knew it.

"I- I need to sleep," you said, suddenly. You didn't give Sam a chance to answer as you slid onto the bed resting on your stomach. Sam snuggled next to you warming you. You kept thinking about the story a thought occuring to you. Your gut twisted at the thought, but it had to be done. You would wait for the perfect time.

Once Sam had drifted off you carefully lifted yourself from the bed and headed to the kitchen. You dug through the drawers until you found a sharp knife. You held it in your hand for a moment before lifting it.

"What are you doing?" Sam's horrified voice growled, as the knife pressed against your throat. Your attention shot to Sam who stood across the counter.

"S-Sam.." you choked, tears stinging your eyes. He slowly came around the counter.

"Stay back," you warned, placing it closer to your neck. He put his hands up in surrender fear coursing through his wide eyes.

"Put the knife down," he pleaded. You shook your head.

"I have to do this. I shouldn't be here," you shook, keeping the knife in place.

"Don't say that..." he whined, taking a step closer.

"This isn't real Sam! You're not real! I can't stay here.. I can't just leave you," you cried, tears springing out onto your cheeks.

"If you do this I'll be alone, please don't leave me," he whimpered. You shook your head.

"If I do this everything will go back to normal.." You explained. He took another step closer.

"I love you... Please don't do this," he pleaded.

"You don't love me! This isn't real!" You shouted. The knife stung your neck. Before you could move his hands were on yours. The warmth made you jump. He moved your hands down and you didn't fight him.

"Do you feel that? That's real." He didn't let go.

"No... No let go," you sobbed.

"No! Don't you understand? I'm real. I'm here. You don't need to do this."

You pulled back from him taking the knife with you. "Please don't do this.." Your sister's voice called. She stepped out from behind Sam.

"We want you here... If you leave I'll be nothing but a memory," she explained, calmly. Your father stepped out as well.

"I-" You stared at them. You didn't want to leave them, but you knew you couldn't stay.

"I'm sorry..." You put the knife back to your neck.

"I guess this is goodbye?" Sam murmured, coming to stand close to you. You nodded slowly. Sam leaned forward watching you for one last kiss. You cried into the kiss closing your eyes. You ran the knife sharply across your neck.

Cold and pain washed over you. Your wrists stung above your head. Your head and neck throbbed. Someone's hands were on you. "Hang on," I'm gonna get you down. Dean in here!" Sam's voice echoed in your ears. The hands moved up touching the binds on your wrists. You didn't have the strength to open your eyes, but a raspy groan left your lips as the binds dropped. Your body collapsed into strong arms.

"Easy, I've got you," he soothed. You were lowered down and placed with part of your back against a solid chest.

"Did you find her?" Dean called.

"Get the others down, we've got to get them out of here," Sam ordered. You heard shuffling which told you Dean was listening.

"Can you hear me? Hey, stay with me," Sam pleaded, shaking you gently. After a moment your body was lifted off of the ground completely.

"Please don't leave me," Sam's voice came, softly. Everything faded around you leaving you in darkness.

Forever Taglist:

@rosierosieelain @xaviersmutcnt @raindrops-on-roses142

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ratwrites · 6 years ago

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Birfday

Hey guys ;; It's my birthday! I'm 19. Whoohoo lol.

��(*≧ω≦)ﾉ

Anyway, I actually am making this post to say that I currently have some stories in the works! I'm having a spell of writers block so I am currently planning out requests and the stories I am working on! Be patient with me please and thank you ;;

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ratwrites · 6 years ago

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Hey love, idk if you're taking in any requests but can you do something with Killian, where him and the reader are together at like a tavern and some guy starts flirting with the reader and starts to get touchy with her and killian just snaps and gets all protective and possessive over the reader? Maybe add some fluff in there too? Please and thank you! Ps I absolutely love your writing, its sooo good!

I am taking requests! Thank you for sending this one! I just now posted it and I enjoyed writing it! :D

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ratwrites · 6 years ago

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My Girl :REQUEST:

Masterlist.

Requests.

Requested by: @babycasiplier

Request: Hey love, idk if you're taking in any requests but can you do something with Killian, where him and the reader are together at like a tavern and some guy starts flirting with the reader and starts to get touchy with her and killian just snaps and gets all protective and possessive over the reader? Maybe add some fluff in there too? Please and thank you! Ps I absolutely love your writing, its sooo good!

Warnings: Implied Smut at times, angst, fluff

Pairing: Killian Jones X Reader

Word Count: 6,013

A/N: Hi. I'd just like to say that I got this request and started writing it instantly lmao. I had a little too much fun writing this and I actually like how it turned out. Idk if this is exactly what you were looking for but I couldn't help myself ;-; Thank you for requesting!!

The thought of nearing an unknown land soon made your heart quicken its pace. Sailing had always been a treat, but seeing the destination was always much better to you. Even though you'd been sailing for years you always found the land more interesting than the sea. You sat up in the crow's nest your eyes scanning the blue horizon for any form of land. Your heart dropped slightly when you couldn't see anything. "(F/N)!" Your attention turned down to the deck. Without hesitation you carefully made your way out of the nest and back down onto the deck.

"Yes Smee?" You questioned, coming to stand in front of the first mate.

"The Captain wants to see you," Smee instructed.

"Couldn't call for me himself?" You chuckled, pushing past Smee. You glanced at the helm and quickly made note that he was below deck. With that you headed down finding yourself in the Captain's quarters. His back was toward you as he gazed out of the large window and to the sea. His hand and hook her held nearly behind his back.

"You wanted to see me Hook?" you called, catching his attention. He turned his head partly giving you a side eye.

"Yes. Come stand with me," he ordered, calmly. You did as you were told and came to stand on his left side. You gazed out of the window with him. The ocean sparkled in the sunlight actually hurting your eyes. You looked down and away from the window.

"As you know we will be docking soon," he began, breaking the silence that had formed over the room. You nodded dragging your gaze up and to him. He still wasn't looking at you.

"You will stay with the crew tonight," he finished. Your heart dropped further.

"What?" You gasped, turning to face him with your entire body. When you docked you normally went out and explored. Killian didn't really mind what you did as long as you kept strange men off of his ship. Yes, like him, you enjoyed the company of strangers, but recently that had changed. For a few months you'd been trying to catch Killian's eyes. So far you'd failed.

"This village is- well it's-" he paused, trying to think of the proper phrase.

"Women shouldn't be left unattended," he explained, hesitantly. You frowned drawing your brows together. Killian knew very well that you could handle your own.

"And what makes this town different from any of the others? I can handle myself Killian," you protested, crossing your arms across your chest.

He finally looked at you once more. You could see the annoyance flashing through his eyes. "You are staying with the crew," he repeated, turning to face you as well.

"I am not some feeble woman Killian, I don't need protection!" You continued.

"(F/N)!" He snapped, grabbing hold of your arm. The contact set your skin ablaze.

"This isn't about you being weak. Gods knows you can handle yourself, but for once in your bloody life do as your told," he growled.

"I need to know that you are safe," he added, barely above a whisper. You swore you heard him wrong as he released your arm. You took a step back from Killian as he turned away again.

"Fine, I'll hang around, but you better make it worth my while," you challenged. His head turned partly back to you a side smile crossing his face. He turned to face you again and approached you.

"Oh I will," he purred, his breath fanning over your face. You held your composure even though everything in you was melting. He stepped back and left without another word. You exhaled sharply not realizing that you had been holding your breath. Your excitement for land had returned at Killian's words. You cleared your head as best as you could before returning to the deck.

...

The crew hollered happily as the boat docked into the village. "Let's hit the tavern boys!" Killian called, coming down from the helm. More cheers roared from them as they all began to make their way off of the Jolly Roger. You went with them unboarding with Killian directly behind you. You paused on the dock taking in your new surroundings. This port was actually quite busy for the size of the village. You assumed it was bigger than it looked.

Killian's hook came around the bend of your arm as he drug you forward. You grunted catching up with him. You removed his hook from your arm. "I can walk you know," you huffed."That's the problem," Killian responded, lowly. You rolled your eyes and stayed close to him. The further you walked into the village the more you realized how scarce it was to see a woman out and about. The few women you saw were all accompanied by a man and each one of them seemed terrified when you looked at them. This peaked your curiosity, but also confused you.

"What is up with this place?" you whispered, leaning into Killian as you walked.

"Hush love. Leave any and all talking to me," he replied, sharply. You frowned again giving yourself some distance from Killian. You had no intentions in sticking by him the whole night you never did and neither did he. He always had a woman at his side while you found whatever you could. You put a little more distance between yourself and Killian. Your gaze ran over a young girl maybe fourteen carrying a basket far too large for her. Before you knew it she fell sending all of the items in her basket sprawling out across the ground. You didn't think, you moved.

You rushed to the girls aid falling to your knees and helping her scoop up her escaped items. "Here," you said, kindly placing them back into her basket. Her eyes were wide with fear. You raised a brow and continued to help her.

"Are you alright?" you asked, picking the basket up for her. You carefully handed it off to her. She nodded not saying a word.

"Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing to my daughter you harlot!" A rough hand suddenly grabbed you and spun you around. You own hand swiftly came to rest on the hilt of your sword. You pulled free of the hand.

"I was simply helping her, do you have a problem with that?" You asked, hotly.

"Watch your tongue girl or I will have it removed from your head!" The man snapped. He advanced swiftly on you, but didn't make it. Killian was in front of you in moments and his crew was standing to the side.

"Easy mate," Killian warned, holding his hand and hook up slightly in surrender.

"Is that your harlot?" The man snarled.

"Aye so be careful how you treat her," Killian answered. Anger boiled in you at the term harlot.

"Learn to control your bitch or she will be controlled for you," the man growled. You moved forward and readied to draw your sword but Killian stayed your hand and body. With one motion he turned you and pushed you away from the man following after you. This time his hand rested on the center of your back.

"I told you (F/N), stay with me and don't speak to anyone," he growled. You shook his hand off.

"She fell Killian, what was I supposed to do just leave her there?" You snapped.

"Yes," Killian responded. You went quite anger still boiling in your blood. You were beginning to wish you were still at sea.

...

The tavern was in view. You couldn't wait to down a few pints of rum. You needed the buzz in your system right now. The doors of the tavern swung open as a large group of heavily intoxicated men exited. You and the crew slipped past them and entered the busy tavern. You'd been in some loud places, but this was insane. There wasn't a woman in sight besides the barmaids who were poorly dressed and miserable. The room was full of drunk men brawling and laughing. You stayed close to Killian seeing the sudden need to keep your head down.

You normally weren't shy, but the atmosphere made you nervous. You sat down by Smee as everyone placed themselves at the only empty table they could find. Well, mostly empty. Three women approached the table all of them young and beautiful. They passed out drinks to each of the men leaving you empty handed.

"A drink for the lady please," Killian called, stopping one of the women. She seemed petrified that he'd even suggested such a thing. The young girl hesitantly handed you a drink. You nodded your head and took a gulp of the rum enjoying the pleasant burn it sent down your throat.

"Cheers!" Smee chirped. The men agreed clanking their cups together before taking drinks of their own. You took another drink eyeing some of the men in the tavern. A very large percentage of them were hideous and very drunk. You sighed and rolled the bottom of your cup along the table.

"Anyone for dice?" One of the crew suggested, setting down a small container holding two dice.

"We aren't drunk enough for that! We've barely begun!" Another chimed. Laughter rang out causing the tavern to be even louder. You enjoyed a good few rounds of dice once you could barely stand. You downed the last of your drink and waved down one of the women who brought you another.

"Thirsty love?" Killian teased, finishing his own and doing the same.

"Gotta drown the anger somehow," you replied, honestly. You took another drink. Since you joined the crew you'd learned how to hold your liquor well. You always regretted it in the morning but it took a lot to get you drunk. Unlike some of the men who only needed two of three pints of rum you could hold a decent amount before you and Killian were competing on who was more drunk.

Your eyes landed on a particular man who was hidden away in a corner. He seemed to he alone, but he was clearly eyeing you. You had to admit he was a fairly attractive man from what you could see, but you never trusted the ones who sat alone; you also had one goal for tonight. You had yours sights still set on your captain. He'd told you he'd make this night worth your while and you intended to hold him to that.

...

You'd downed multiple drinks finally noticing the buzz you wanted. You weren't drunk per say, just a little light headed. That was fairly normal for you. You'd held back on drinks once the dice came out. A few rounds had been played and you'd robbed each crew member of at least a few silver coins each. You didn't exactly play fair, but neither did any of them. The laughter that spread from your table had drawn the attention of some of the other occupants. Before you knew it a few strangers had joined your game. To your own surprise no women had joined your party. They normally flung themselves at Killian as soon as he had at least three drinks in his system, but not tonight. The women were afraid each one huddling away until they were called upon. You'd seen one get dragged out by a man and you quickly assumed it wasn't for good reasons. She'd returned later with tear stains down her cheeks. That set you off and caused you to down another.

You scooped up your winnings as the currently round ended sticking your tongue out playfully at Killian who had lost six gold coins to your unfair dice hand. His eyes narrowed challengingly at you and you laughed. You noticed the eyes of the strange men burning through you. It obviously wasn't a good thing that you'd robbed them of their money as well. You tossed your hair back dramatically and the crew laughed at the sulk that crossed Killian's face.

"What's wrong Captain? Losing to a girl?" You teased, running your boot across his lower leg. His body responded slightly as he shifted his legs bringing them closer to yours under the cramped table. You knew exactly what you were doing.

"You are just having a stroke of luck love, don't get too cocky," he responded, trapping your boot between his knees as you moved it up. You giggled and pulled your foot free.

"Another round?" Smee slurred, holding the dice in his hand.

"Definitely," Killian said, his eyes on you. Everyone placed their bets in the center of the table. Smee started the round challenging one of the strange men. Smee rolled a four which wasn't exactly the best.

The man rolled getting a ten. With cheers from the strangers he collected Smee's bet pocketing it. The stranger then challenged you. He rolled the dice landed on eight. You mentally cursed yourself. Normally if the opponent got a high number to start you could kiss your bet goodbye. You took the dice not missing the stroke of his fingers across your hand. His skin made you cringe slightly. You looked at Killian and rolled. "Twelve!" you cheered. The crew hollered as well as the man growled practically tossing his coins at you. You ignored the hostility and gathered your wins tucking them safely into the satchel on your belt.

"Alright Captain, let's see what you've got," you purred, readying yourself to roll. You rolled waiting impatiently for the dice to stop.

"Six!" Smee called, as the dice stopped. Killian took the dice his eyes locked on you. He went to roll. You played your game and raised your boot suddenly pressing it between his parted legs and against his inner thigh. His body jerked causing his roll to falter. You only smiled slyly as it landed on four.

"I'll be taking that," you purred, scooping your wins. As you did so your foot moved a little higher daring to brush him through his leather pants. Once you gold was safely stashed you removed your foot entirely just as his hips shifted forward to try and meet you. You held a smug smile on your lips as you noticed the strain in his eyes. You knew exactly what you were doing. Some of the crew giggled amongst themselves and you could tell they knew exactly what you did.

"I'm done," one of the strangers grumbled, standing abruptly and stumbling away.

"What a child," you scoffed, challenging another man. You rolled and sadly lost your bet which meant you were out of the game. Once you lost your bet you were done for that round. You stood as well and stretched.

"Where are you off to?" Killian asked, his foot touching yours.

"I'm off for a drink, I'll be back," you explained. He frowned.

"Relax Hook, I'll be right over there," you chuckled, pointing to the tavern's counter. You left the table and headed to the counter taking a seat. You noticed that the women were gone leaving no service. A man slipped behind the counter giving you a strange look.

"What can I do for you?" He questioned, his tone dry.

"A pint of rum please," you answered. He didn't move.

"Tonight preferably," you huffed. He scowled before hurrying off to get your drink. Another stranger dropped down in the seat next to you.

"Don't women have a curfew for when their pretty little heads go back home?" He rasped. A curfew? Seriously? You rolled your eyes.

"I'm not from around here," you answered, blandly not bothering to look at who ever was speaking to you.

"You should address me when I speak to you," he growled. You lazily turned your head toward the man.

"Again mate, not from around here," you huffed. You turned your attention back to the counter as the bartender set down your pint. You took it and drank quietly.

"What a tough girl," the man cooed, scooting a little closer. You drank again.

"Such a pretty little face being wasted," he added, scooting even closer. You grew uncomfortable and scooted away.

"Come now darling. If you're going to break our laws you might as well give us something in return." The tone of his voice almost made you sick.

"Why don't you back off mate. I am not interested," you warned, taking another drink.

"Oh you'll be interested dear. If you aren't then I can have you arrested," he purred. You yelped as his clammy hand slid around your waist squeezing your side. You reacted quick and slid off of the chair and out of his grasp. You skillfully took your drink with you taking another sip.

"Don't walk away from me whore!" He snarled. Before you could react he latched onto you forcefully removing your drink from your hands. He was twice your size which made it difficult to get rid of him. He sat you back down trapping you with your back against the counter. You hissed slamming your fist against his stumbled cheek. He withdrew for a moment but recovered in time to catch you pinning you back in place. He forced his body between your legs keeping you there. You tried to hit him again, but he swiftly grabbed your hands and pinned them with one of his own.

"Get off of me you shark!" You snarled. His free hand slid down your body caressing your side and resting on your inner thigh. He tried to kiss you, but you headbutted him sending him backwards. Your own head stung from the blow. You stood up and fixed your clothes before heading back to the table. Before you reached the table he grabbed you again pulling you flush against his hard body.

"Hey mate! You've had your fun now let her go," Killian's voice echoed, threateningly behind you.

...

Killian had been in torment since they stepped off of the ship. Every part of him wanted to pull her back into his quarters and have his way with her... After admitting how he truly felt. He attached his hook around the bend of her arm not wanting her to wander. He'd been here a few times and he knew the strict rules with women. He couldn't risk losing her, but he knew he couldn't leave her on the ship either. His original plan had been to pass by this village, but the ship was running low on supplies and the next villages was two weeks away. He understood that they couldn't hold on for two weeks. She pulled out of his grasp drawing his gaze to her. "I can walk you know," she protested.

"That's the problem," Killian responded. He knew her all too well. If he took his eyes off of her for one minute she'd be gone. He walked briskly next to her keeping his stature strong and as threatening as possible. He didn't miss the eyes that wandered in her direction, but quickly diverted once they realized he was looking at them.

"What is up with this place?" She whispered, leaning against him.

"Hush love. Leave any and all talking to me," he answered. That wasn't going to happen. Killian kept walking his attention getting distracted by some of his crew. He joined in on their conversation answering some of their questions about the village.

"Where are all the girls?" One whined, looking around.

"Women aren't valued here like they are in other villages. I'd keep your eyes, hands, and thoughts to yourselves lads," Killian suggested.

"What the hell are you doing to my daughter you harlot!" Killian's heart dropped. He did exactly what he told himself he wasn't going to do; take his eyes off of her. He halted and turned back. He took off searching for her and easily finding her.

"Watch your tongue girl or I will have it removed from your head!" a man yelled, at her. Killian jumped in front of her defensively. The crew had followed him, but he paid no mind to them.

"Easy mate," Killian growled, holding his hands up slightly. He didn't want to cause a fight.

"Is this your harlot?" the man hissed, leaning threateningly toward Killian. Anger clawed at Killian, but he swallowed it.

"Aye, so be careful how you treat her," he warned. He had no intentions on letting this man harm her.

"Learn to control your bitch or she will be controlled for you," the man growled. Killian saw her moved out of the corner of his eye. He reached back staying her. He turned his back to the man and pushed her sending her in a walk away from the situation. He splayed his hand along the center of her back knowing that the man was still watching.

"I told you (F/N), stay with me and don't speak to anyone," he snapped. He wasn't angry at her he was angry at this village. She was a free spirit and she hated being told what to do. That was one of the many reasons he'd grown to love her, but it was also frustrating in a place like this. She pulled away from his hand.

"She fell Killian, what was I supposed to do just leave here there?" She argued.

"Yes," Killian answered, blandly. He could see the gears turning behind her eyes and that worried him. By the look on her face she was going to get herself into trouble.

...

The crew entered the tavern allowing Killian to keep you in the center of the group. The noise didn't bother him a bit, but seeing your head fall did. His anger toward this village only grew. He directed the crew toward a decently clear table sighing as she sat across from him. A small group of women brought them drinks. He didn't fail to notice that they hadn't given one to her. "A drink for the lady please," Killian boomed, startling one of the women. Once she had her drink he held back a laugh as she instantly began to gulp it down.

"Cheers!" Smee called, drawing Killian from the trance he'd slipped into. He held up his cup clanking it with the member nearest to him. He took a drink sighing as the burn soothed him. He took another sip.

"Anyone for dice?" One of the crew suggested, bringing out the dice.

"We aren't drunk enough for that! We've barely begun!" another answered. Killian laughed in agreement along with his men. His eyes stayed on you as you downed the rest of your pint. That was fast.

"Thirsty love?" He poked, downing his to match her pace.

"Gotta drown the anger somehow," she replied. Killian pushed down the guilt that tugged at his gut. He waved for another following your gaze briefly to a stranger in the corner. His heart sank. He hated when you looked at other men, which was hypocritical of him since he almost always had women at his sides. He didn't want to admit it to himself but the only reason he did that was to hide the truth of how he felt about her. He drank bringing his full attention back to his crew.

...

The crew had reached the drunk point where dice came to play. The point of the game was to eliminate everyone from the game until only one player was left standing. Two people would roll for bets and whoever got the lowest number was kicked from the round. He loved dice, even though he was horrible at it. That's why he never played fair. To his own demise he'd lost multiple times now specifically to her. She was damaging his ego. "What's wrong Captain? Losing to a girl?" She purred, her boot touching his lower leg. Killian responded instantly scooting further onto his seat and parting them slightly. His skin tingled where her legs were pressed. He knew her game and he was more than willing to play.

"You are just having a stroke of luck love, don't get too cocky," he answered. It wasn't luck, it was cheating, but he knew that. Her boot slid further up his leg and he captured it between his knees. He grinned as she pulled it free.

"Another round?" Smee suggested, his intoxication evident in his voice.

"Definitely," Killian challenged, meeting her intense gaze. He placed his bet along with his crew and the strangers that had joined them. They'd occupied the other end of the table. Smee started the new round losing straight off of the bat. Killian scoffed watching as the stranger took his bet and challenged her. The stranger started off good catching her with an eight. Part of Killian hoped she would lose, but she didn't. He was impressed with your roll, but that meant that you were still in.

"Twelve!" she chirped, drawing cheers from the crew. Killian frowned as the man slammed his bet down at you. Killian's frown disappeared as soon as her face turned to his.

"Alright Captain, let's see what you've got," she murmured, a sly smile crossing her expression.

"Six!" Smee called. Killian had high hopes. He snatched up the dice his gaze not leaving hers. He readied himself to roll for a win. His went to move, but heat suddenly slid between his legs. His hips bucked as their own will causing him to let go prematurely of the dice. The smile on her face grew. Killian's stomach turned over at the excitement that washed through him.

"I'll be taking that." Killian's eyes sealed shut for a blissful moment as her foot slid a little higher daring to touch him. His eyes snapped open in disappointment as her foot disappeared. He almost groaned, but bit it back. The smug smile she held made him want to kiss it off of her face. He heard the snickering of his crew which caused his cheeks to darken slightly. He bowed his head for a moment regaining his composure. Killian watched as one of the strangers grumbled and left the table.

"What a child," she commented, continuing on with the game. He watched happily as she finally lost kicking her out of the game. He opened his mouth to remark on that, but her standing cut him off. All snide comments he was going to make faded as worry hit him.

"Where are you off to?" He asked, reaching out to gently touch one of her boots.

"I'm off for a drink, I'll be back," she replied. Killian frowned hid concern staying.

"Relax Hook, I'll be right over there," she giggled, her finger directing his attention to the counter. He watched her saunter over to the counter and take a seat. His gaze didn't leave her until Smee tapped his shoulder.

"Another round?" His poor first mate was smashed. He sighed and nodded. He started the round off knocking one of his crew out instantly. He was so much better at this game when she wasn't playing. That made him chuckle. He rolled again knocking Smee out as well. He was surprised Smee still had coins to bet! He rolled again this time getting knocked out and losing two gold coins to one of his crew.

"Get off of me you shark!" Her voice rang in his ears. His worried attention was swiftly drawn to her. Something in him snapped at the sight. Killian stood up abruptly and stalked toward them.

"Hey mate! You've had your fun now let her go," he snarled, deeply. The man looked at Killian keeping her flush against him. She was squirming.

"What are you going to do about it, Pirate?" The man mocked. He was done. Killian hooked his fingers around her arm and tugged her free of the vermin in front of him. He slipped her behind him and swung his arm hitting the man with the tip of his hook. The man howled and fell back his hands coming to to his cheek. Killian wiped the blood from the tip of his hook.

"Touch her again and I'll separate your head from your miserable shoulders," he threatened, reaching behind him and touching her hand. She began to intertwine their fingers, but Killian pushed her aside as the man lunged. Killian took the hit his back slamming against a wooden beam in the room. The man slugged Killian, but Killian didn't let that slow him down. He brought his knee swiftly against the man's crotch. As soon as his head came down Killian smashed the curve of his hook against the man's skull. He pushed him back onto the floor scoffing at the body sprawled out in front of him. He reached up and wiped the crimson blood that trickled from the corner of his mouth.

"Anyone else want to lay a hand on my lass?" Killian growled, pulling you to his side.

No one moved. The man slowly returned to his feet. He charged at Killian again, but was to slow. Killian slipped behind him and slid his hook around the man's neck bringing him down onto his knees.

"Killian!" She yelped.

"That is enough! Leave, all of you!" the bartender shouted. Killian shoved the man down onto his stomach.

"Let's go men," Killian ordered. His crew gathered their drunken selves and left the tavern. Killian took hold of her hand and led her out as well. He walked in a raged silence toward the ship. She kept up with him staying close against his side. They boarded the ship. He didn't leave room for protest as he took her down into his quarters. He placed her on the edge of his bed.

"Are you alright?" He demanded, his voice coated with rage and concern.

"Killian I-"

"Did he hurt you?" He cut her off, coming close and looking her over. He took note of the bruise forming on her forehead. She flinched slightly.

"Killian!" She grabbed hold of his hand and hook holding him in place. Looking into her eyes calmed him.

"I'm fine. I'm not hurt," she soothed. He could clearly see her body trembling.

"I'm so sorry love..." He grumbled, now angry with himself. He sank onto his knees in front of her. He sat between her parted knees his head hanging low.

"I never should've taken you in there." He was beating himself up. He'd never experienced panic like he had when he saw that man on her.

"Killian it isn't your fault. I'm okay, really," she insisted, still holding onto his hand and hook. Killian lifted his head to see tears pooling in her eyes. She was shaking more now. He assumed that whatever reaction she was having to this was coming late. Killian slowly stood back up and separated her hands from his own. He moved further between her legs and wrapped his arms around her pulling her close. Her arms snaked around his lower back drawing him even closer as she buried her face into the leather vest covering his stomach. She was crying. Killian curled over her engulfing her.

"Easy love, you're safe," he soothed, rubbing small circles into her shoulder blade. She'd been with a lot of men, but none had ever attacked her like that. After a few minutes she let go of Killian and he respectively stepped back. He'd forgot about his bleeding lip until it was dripping down his chin. He wiped it away with the back of his hand smudging it across his skin.

"Oh Killian, you're bleeding." She was on her feet in moments.

"It's nothing love. I've had worse," he assured. She went behind his desk and opened the bottom drawer pulling out a cloth and some injury oil that they'd come by in the Enchanted Forest. He shook his head.

"You don't need to-"

"Sit," she ordered, pushing him backwards until the back of his knees hit the bed. He plopped down and she sat next to him. She opened the cap to the oil bottle and placed the rag over it. She soaked the small part of the rag and set the bottle aside. She reached up and cleaned away the blood on his lip. Killian couldn't take his eyes off of her. His expression turned soft and all of his anger seemed to fade the longer he looked at her. His heart was beating rapidly against his chest. For a moment he swore she could hear it. She applied pressure to the cut on his lip to help stop the bleeding. She didn't have to hold it long before the cut gave up.

"There," she said, softly. She set the rag aside next to the bottle and met Killian's gaze. Her eyes were still wet from the tears. Killian made a choice. He raised his hand to her face and used his thumb to carefully wipe away the leftover tears. He wanted to lower his hand, but he found himself resting it across her soft cheek. Her eyes met his and his heart skipped a beat. He couldn't deny himself or this any longer. With ease he brought himself toward her. To his own surprise she finished the move closing the distance between their lips. Butterflies exploded throughout Killian. It was amazing.

They'd never kissed before and he was glad they did. Nothing had ever seemed so right to him. It was stranger to him because this was the first kiss he'd had that held no lust behind it only sheer love and passion. Her hand met his intertwining their fingers. They finally broke their kiss their foreheads resting together.

"Killian? There is something I've been meaning to tell you.." she began. He smiled gently and shifted so they were looking at each other.

"I love you," Killian interrupted understanding what she was intending to say. She brought their lips together again causing the settling butterflies to spark again. He almost whined when she separated them again.

"I love you too," she murmured. She wrapped her arms around Killian's neck and pulled him close. His arms slid around her back trapping her there. The hug was comforting to Killian and everything he'd ever wanted. In this moment he couldn't want for more.

"I couldn't let that man hurt you..." He admitted, suddenly. She pulled back eyeing him softly.

"It-" he sighed with defeat.

"To see someone doing that to you... It- it enraged me. It broke me.." He looked away from her. He was admitting things he never thought he'd have the guts to admit.

"That's why I never let you bring your company back to my ship," he mumbled, shyly. She raised her brow at him.

"And all the women you brought back?" She asked.

"They- were a distraction... From you," he admitted.

"I was too cowardly to tell you how I felt in case the feelings weren't shared," he continued. She giggled.

"That is why I enjoyed the company of other men.. Because I was too afraid to tell you how I felt," she said, resting a hand under his chin and bringing his gaze back to her.

"My heart belongs to you Killian." She pressed a soft kiss to his lips for a brief moment.

"And I want to give you your heart's desire." They kissed once more before they fell into another hug. The cabin was dark with the night.

"I should get some rest," she suggested, eventually pulling herself to stand. Killian didn't move. He didn't want her to leave.

"Stay with me love," he pleaded, taking her hand in his own. She smiled and sat back down on the bed. He shed his coat, vest, and boots before crawling further onto his bed resting his head on his pillow. She followed removing her own boots and her corset before making herself comfortable against his side. Her head found its place over his heart which was beating ninety miles per hour. Her hand rested on his tunic fiddling with the soft material.

"Goodnight Captain," she yawned.

"Rest easy my love."

Forever Taglist

@elainqueenoffireandroses @xaviersmutcnt @raindrops-on-roses142

#killian jones #killian jones x reader #captain hook x reader #captain hook #ouat #once upon a time #x reader #fanfiction

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ratwrites · 6 years ago

Note

Are you going to continue 10ft tall?

Yes! Eventually I will get around to rewriting it. It is under A LOT of construction at the moment because I really didn't like how it turned out and I want it to be the best I can make it when I re-release it! Have patients dear Anon ^^

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ratwrites · 6 years ago

Text

A Pirate’s Life For Me

Masterlist.

Requests.

Prompt: Does he know about the baby?

Summary: Killian sets off on one of his long journeys without knowing that his wife is pregnant with his child. When he returns he is in for a surprise.

Warnings: None

Pairing: Killian Jones X Reader

Word Count: 7,005

A/N: The more I went back and read over this the more I hated it lmao. I’m struggling :’).... I’m currently rewatching OUAT so I am kind of on a Killian spree even though I’m still in season 1 and haven’t re-met him yet. Also for my Hobbit followers, I a thinking about rewriting some of the series that I started and never finished so keep an eye out!

Eyes closed. Bodies knitted together. You stirred slightly a yawn escaping your lips. You scrunched your nose your stomach turning. You let out a soft groan nuzzling your face into the warm body snuggled around you. "Good morning love," Killian murmured, his nose pressing into your hair. You groaned again drawing a soft chuckle to rise from his chest. It vibrated your body peacefully. You drew your hands off of him and placed them between your bodies. You shoved gently. He pulled away from you untangling your legs and his arms. You opened your eyes blinking at the light in the cabin. You propped yourself up for a moment appreciating Killian who was laying on his back. You crawled over to him and propped your upper half on his chest. You stroked over his chest soothing the hairs across it. His ocean eyes met yours and he smiled tiredly. You leaned forward and captured his soft lips with yours. The moment was short, but welcomed. You sat up fully and slowly moved off of the bed. "Where are you off to love?" he questioned, sitting up. "I don't feel the best," you replied. You headed up onto the deck crew members nodding to you in welcome as you passed. You approached the edge of the ship and rested your arms on the wood. You looked out over the shining water letting your stomach turn. "Morning Miss!" Smee chirped, startling you. He bowed his head in apology. "Are you feeling alright?" He asked, leaning on the wood next to you. "Fine thank you, just a little woosey is all," you answered, calmly. He opened his mouth to speak but paused as Killian stood over his shoulder. "Feel better (F/N)," he smiled, comfortingly. "Thank you." Smee went back to work allowing Killian to take his place. You glanced over at Killian who had now slipped on a black tunic. His hand came to gently rub your lower back. "What's gotten into you love? This is the fourth time this week," He kept rubbing your back. "I don't know," you answered, vaguely. "Captain! We've got company!" Smee called. Killian's attention turned to where Smee was pointing. It was a small ship approaching. "Go below deck love. Get some rest," Killian encouraged. You nodded. You headed below deck deciding to change out of your night clothes.

You came onto the deck seeing the small ship next to the Jolly Roger. You spotted Killian and Smee on the other ship along with some of his men.

"What's going on?"

You asked, one of men. They shrugged in response causing you to roll your eyes. You walked over the plank and onto the other ship. All eyes were drawn to you. The strangers on the ship looked you over.

"She cannot go with you," one of the men said, suddenly. You assumed he was the captain.

"And why is that?" Killian questioned, hotly.

"Kil, what's going on?" You huffed, coming to stand next to him.

"They will tear her apart if they even catch her scent," the man explained. Confusion washed over you. Killian turned to you.

"I will explain later love," Killian said, gently. His attention turned back to the man. You reached out and touched your fingers against his hook showing your concern.

"Will you do it Captain?" Killian looked at you for a moment pondering the question. He looked back at the man and nodded.

"It will be done. I will be in Sherwood once it is complete," Killian explained. The two shook hands. You wrapped your fingers around Killian's hook fully and followed him back onto the Jolly Roger. You watched as the other boat pulled away.

"What was that all about?" You asked, letting go of his hook as he approached the helm and his wheel. You stood at his side as he began to steer.

"They wanted our help recovering a lost item," Killian answered.

"When did you start helping recover lost items?" You giggled.

"Since they started paying a large payment," he replied, shooting you a side smirk. You nudged into him smiling back. Your stomach tightened a little. You rested your hand over your stomach.

"So what's the item you have to retrieve?"

"A necklace. Simple I know, but the paid a fantastic price," Killian answered. You nodded looking out over the boat. Your eyes met Smee for a moment. He was giving you a strange look. You looked away from him. You were uneasy and you weren't sure why.

...

You helped unload the ship taking the barrels to the nearest market. You set down your last barrel your arms shaking unexplainably. You'd never had problems carrying barrels before. You exhaled a sharp breath a sudden exhaustion washing over you. You swayed on your feet. "(F/N) are you okay?" One of Killian's men asked. He came to your side wrapping an warm securely around the small of your back. You leaned your weight against the crewman.

"I just need to rest," you breathed, the weight of exhaustion growing. Your eyes were heavy, but you kept them open. The crewman began to walk you from the market and back toward the ship. He helped you onto the ship setting you down on the stairs to the helm.

"Would you like me to fetch the Captain?" You shook your head.

"I'll be alright, thank you."

You bowed your head in dismissal. The crewman scurried off leaving you alone on the ship. You leaned back against the stairs letting yourself settle from the sudden exhaustion. Once you deemed yourself worthy of standing you did. You moved off of the stairs and paced around the boat a few times before deciding to go back into the town. It was a decent sized village holding stone buildings and stone pathways throughout the town. It was quite nice compared to some of the villages you normally visited.

You found your way back to the market taking the the details you hadn't noticed before. You passed by the small wooden shops appreciating some of the items that were for sale. "Miss! Miss!" You whirled around as a hand grabbed the bend of your arm. You tore away your hand flying to the hilt of your sword. You didn't draw it as your eyes landed on a young boy around the age of fifteen.

"Sorry- I didn't mean to startle you," he stammered.

"What do you want?" You asked, remaining calm. You didn't enjoy being touched by strangers.

"You came in with the pirates?" You nodded in confirmation.

"My- my grandma has been waiting for you," he said, suddenly. You cocked a brow resting a hand on your hip.

"Is that so?" You huffed, in disbelief.

"Look kid if you're trying to rob me of my gold you might as well forget it," you warned. He shook his head. He pointed to a booth that you had passed a while ago. You hadn't noticed the elder woman sitting behind it before. You let out a heavy sigh.

"What do you want kid?" You asked, impatiently.

"She asked me to fetch you." The boy seemed intimidated by you, which is what you intended. You rolled your eyes. You'd rumor the boy and his ancient grandma. You followed the boy back to the booth standing in front of it.

"(F/N) Jones," the elder rasped. Your eyes widened. You'd never been to this village before yet the old crow knew your name. Your interest was peaked.

"Do I know you?" You questioned, humoring her.

"No my dear, but I know you," she replied, her small eyes meeting yours. You crossed your arms across your body looking down your nose at her. You were Killian's wife after all. It was very possible that people would know your name alongside his.

"I have seen you," the lady added. You said nothing your gaze turning to the boy.

"My grandma is a witch. She was blessed with the sight of the future," the boy explained. You grew impatient.

"Alright, humor me, what have you seen?" You were slightly annoyed, but you couldn't truly place why.

"You carry the pirate's child," she blurted. Your breath hitched in your throat.

"How the bloody hell do you know that?" You hissed, placing your hands on the small wooden table between you and her. She smiled brightly.

"I have seen it dear!" She chirped.

"He does not know, yet he is about to leave on a long journey," she continued, her eyes traveling to your stomach.

"It won't be that long," you replied. She laughed.

"It will be much longer than you expect dear." You stayed in your position.

"Tell me more." Your curiosity had definitely peaked now.

"I cannot tell you much my dear only that you needn't worry and that you should be careful," she warned, standing from her small chair.

"Careful of what?" You watched as the small woman retrieved a pendant from a bag behind her chair. She offered it out to you and you took it.

"Keep this with you dear. It will protect you and your beloved child," her smile was kind. Your head was reeling with questions. You turned on your heel and began to walk away.

"You mustn't tell him!" she called, after you. You paused in your steps for a brief second before carrying on. You tucked the pendant into a leather satchel on your hip and carried on.

...

You entered the tavern instantly spotting Killian and his crew. This was normal for them. When they were about to embark on a journey they would drink the night away. Normally you'd join them, but you'd refrained after discovering your pregnancy. It saddened you because you missed the soothing burn of rum down your throat. Killian's crew cheered as you approached. In their group were a few women sitting with some of the crew. Each of them had their eyes clearly on Killian.

"My love!" He chirped, as you sat down on his leg. His body was angled so that one of his legs was outside the table. You perched yourself leaning back against his strong shoulder.

"Husband,"you purred, catching the hot stares from the women in the group. Killian had always been a favorite the ladies, but he gave them up once he met you. You always enjoyed watching the jealous looks you received. His hook rested softly against your side drawing you more onto his thigh. He leaned you down enough to press a chaste kiss against the corner of your mouth. You could smell the rum on his breath as he pulled away.

"What are you boys up to?" You asked, turning your attention to the table.

"Dice!" Smee cheered. By the looks of it Killian was losing, which was always fun to watch. They returned to their game and you stayed put for the moment. You laughed along with the crew enjoying their company.

After a while Killian's hook slid to your back signaling that his leg had grown tired. You slid off of him and placed yourself next to him. Your thigh pressed against his as you rested your arms on the table watching the round come to an end.

"Would you like to join us (F/N)?" One of the crewmen asked.

"I'd love to!" Killian frowned.

"We shouldn't drag the lady into our bets," he suggested.

"Why, afraid you'll lose?" You challenged. The crew hooped and hollered causing Killian's brow to come together. As much as the pirate wouldn't admit it he was terrible at betting. He never played fair because he was so bad at it. It always made you laugh. The men dealt you in and you placed your first bet. Just one gold coin along with the men.

...

The betting lasted for hours. By the time the tavern was ready to close down for the night you and some of the crew had racked up a decent amount of gold. Killian was practically broke. Everyone stood up and drank their final drinks before drunkenly stumbling back to the ship. You helped Killian along giggled at the nonsense that left his mouth. You wished you had a way to keep track of all the things he said while he was drunk. You helped him into the captain's quarters laughing as he flopped down onto the bed face first.

You changed out of your clothes and crawled onto the bed next to him. You'd snagged a small bottle of foggy liquid from the night stand and pushed him onto his back. He groaned at the sight of it.

"Drink," you said, offering it to him. He shook his head and tried to roll over again. You grabbed his shoulder and kept him on his back.

"You're acting like a child now drink," you ordered. You couldn't help but smile as he whined.

"Killian Jones," you huffed. He let out a long groan and sat up snatching the bottle from your hands and downing it. Hr handed the empty bottle back to you and laid back down. You laid down next to him resting your head over his heart. The smooth rhythm was relaxing.

"I love you (F/N)," he slurred, his hand gently stroking through your hair.

"I love you too Killian," you yawned. You snuggled up closer one of your hands carefully fisting the soft black fabric of his tunic. Your eyes slid closed allowing you to drift off.

...

You stirred to a gentle hand rubbing circles against your shoulder."Rise and shine love." Killian's voice was soft. You lifted your head to meet his tired gaze. You appreciated that Killian didn't struggle much with hangovers; unlike his men who would be dead on their feet. You sat up drawing Killian up with you.

"So what's the plan captain?" You yawned, keeping your voice down. You could tell by the light in the cabin that it was pretty early in the morning.

"We set out in a few hours love. You're staying here," Killian explained, plainly. You raised your brows.

"You aren't leaving me here," you protested. He sighed and shook his head. He stood from the bed and paced about the room.

"It will be very dangerous love."

"Which is more of a reason for me to go with you!"

"No."Killian was stern. He approached you and got on his knees between your legs. You were sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I need to know that you are safe," he explained, staying calm.

"And how am I going to know that you are safe?" You countered. The woman's words suddenly played in your head.

"You needn't worry." Killian stood again and went behind his desk. He opened the top drawer and pulled out two necklaces each holding a shell on it. He sat between your legs again and offered you one of the necklaces.

"I didn't think I would ever have to use these again, but.."he paused.

"It is a way of communication love. With these we can speak to each other anywhere."

He slid his around his neck tapping it with his finger. You slid yours around your neck as well looking down at Killian.

"Can you at least tell me where you are off to?" He shook his head. His hand came up to take one of yours. You used your other hand and grabbed his hook holding it as well.

"It won't be a long journey love, maybe a few weeks at the most."

"It will be much longer than you expect."

You sighed and leaned down pressing your forehead to his. "What shall I do while you're away?" you whimpered. Rarely did he leave you behind for journey's, but when he did you were beside yourself.

"Enjoy the village love. It is much larger than you think and holds more things than you know," he said, vaguely. You gave him a bland look drawing a chuckle from him. He stood to his feet. Before he could escape you hooked your feet around his and held him in place. You slid closer to him and wrapped your arms around him. Your head rested against his stomach. His hand stroked through your hair.

"I must prepare for the journey love. Why don't you go and find yourself a room at the inn?" He suggested. You released him and stood up as well.

"Fine, but only because I want to and not because you told me to," you huffed, playfully.

"Of course love," he smiled, fondly. You changed into your clothes and headed up onto the deck with Killian behind you. Most of the crew was already awake and dragging around like zombies. You kissed Killian briefly before heading into the town.

...

You'd found yourself a nice room in the inn and paid for the first week. You found yourself walking through the market again. You nodded at the elderly woman as you passed and she returned it. Your hand went into your satchel feeling the small pendant under your fingers. You continued your journey through the market not buying anything yet. You didn't need anything extra right now.

...

A few hours had passed and you made your way back to the ship after meeting Smee. He was bringing the last of the supplies in. You boarded the ship not seeing Killian. "He's in his cabin," Smee directed. You nodded your thanks and headed there only for Killian to emerge.

"My love," he smiled, meeting you halfway. You wrapped your arms around. his neck in a hug.

"Must you really go without me?" You whined, not letting go. He eventually pushed you back.

"I wouldn't if I didn't have to love. I promise you that our journey will be as short as we can manage." He kissed you holding onto you like he'd never see you again.

"Stay safe Killian," you murmured, once he released you. And idea seemed to spark within his eyes.

"Smee!" He called. His first mate scurried to him.

"Yes Captain?" He bowed.

"I want you to stay here with (F/N)," he ordered. You and Smee gasped.

"Killian there is no need-" "It has been decided. I trust that you'll look after him (F/N)," Killian said, teasing Smee. Smee sighed in submission. He was clearly upset that he wouldn't be going with them.

"I'll watch over him Captain," you teased, as well. Smee let out a playful sigh of agitation. With one last kiss you and Smee unloaded yourselves from the ship. You both watched as it pulled away from the dock and off into the sea.

"Come Smee I'm dying for a meal!" With that the pair of you made your way to the tavern.

...

Weeks had gone by and things had definitely gotten more difficult. You'd changed from your normal pirate attire to a simple dress determined to hide the small bump forming. You weren't ready for anyone to know, but it was growing difficult to lie about. You walked through the market a basket on your arm. You'd taken up a job at the tavern once the collection of gold the two of you had was depleted. You gathered up a few loaves of bread in your basket along with a few other items that the owner of the tavern had asked you to get.

You passed by the elderly woman, Raia, daily deciding that she was a friend. You'd stop and chat with her each time learning new things about her. She also had fantastic tips for taking care of children which would come in handy. The boy had lost his parents when he was young which is why he stayed with her and how she knew such wonderful tips. You fled the market and headed back to the tavern.

You had stopped waiting for Killian. According to Raia Killian wouldn't return until after the birth of your baby which disappointed you. You set the basket down on the counter smiling as the bartender approached you. He was also the owner. "Thank you (F/N). I'm sorry that I keep having you fetch things for me," he stammered, rubbing the back of his neck. You waved him off.

"Don't mention it Lane. It's not a problem, really," you chirped. He returned your smile and took the basket into the back room. You came around the counter and followed him into the back room.

"So (F/N), when are you planning to tell everyone?" He asked, suddenly. You tilted your head a little.

"Tell everyone what?" You asked, innocently. He laughed coming to stand in front of you.

"That you're carrying a little bundle of joy," he said, sweetly. Your eyes widened and your cheeks darkened slightly.

"H- How can you tell?" You questioned, your hands coming to cover your stomach.

"You forget dear I have children," he chuckled.

"My wife acted exactly the same when she was pregnant, not to mention it isn't hidden as well as you think it is," he added. You groaned. Lane pulled you into a comforting hug.

"Did you tell him?" He asked, after he pulled back. You shook your head. Lane gasped.

"Why not dear?" He was genuinely concerned.

"Did you not want this? Did something bad happen?" He had a tendency to jump to conclusions.

"No no! We've been trying.. It's just-" you hesitated.

"I didn't think that I could actually have kids.. We lost hope after the second..." You cut yourself off.

"Oh dear," he hugged you again.

"I'm terribly sorry (F/N)." He was genuine. You pushed the memories from your head.

"But- if I may ask, why didn't you tell him?" He'd released you again.

"Raia," you replied, shortly. He mouthed a silent 'oh'. Everyone in the town knew that Raia's word goes. She was the town seer and had never been wrong yet! You'd heard that her old age had only made her wiser as well.

"Does your friend know?"

"Does her friend know what?" Your heart dropped in your chest. You slowly turned on your heels to see Smee leaning against the doorframe. He had quite literally been your little stalker since Killian had left.

"Nothing Smee," you replied, walking toward him. You snatched the red hat from his head and pushed past him.

"Hey!" He protested, following after you. You slipped it onto your head and paced around the tavern. It was pretty much empty except for the few daily people. You paid no mind to them as they paid no mind to you. After a few laps you returned the hat to Smee.

"Alright (F/N), you might as well tell me what's going on know," he huffed, crossing his arms across his chubby chest. You rolled your eyes.

"I really don't have to explain myself to you Smee." You weren't wrong. Smee had become a thorn in your side. He frowned drawing his brows together.

"(F/N) if you don't tell me-"

"What, you'll call Killian? In case you forgot Smee you broke the shell," you snapped. He went quite.

"I'll tell him when he returns," he piped, trying to fix his lost cause.

"Then you'll be waiting for a while," you scoffed. You walked past him only for him to grab your arm. You pulled your arm from his grasp.

"Don't touch me," you hissed. Smee glared up at you. He was shorter than you by a good few inches.

"What are you hiding (F/N)? Is it another man? Or a woman?" He prodded. You grew frustrated with the first mate.

"I'm pregnant you moron!" You snarled. You hadn't intended to say that.

"Congrats," one of the locals called. If this was under better terms you would've laughed, but you just nodded your thanks instead. You turned away from Smee and headed toward your shared room. He was hot on your heels.

"So it is a man then? What the Captain leaves for a few weeks and you just up and decide to go with someone else?" He growled, as you two entered the room.

"It's Killian's you idiot!" you yelled. Smee went dead silent.

"Why the bloody hell do you think it would be someone else's! I love Killian with every fiber of my being why would I tarnish that?" Tears formed in your eyes. You weren't upset with Smee you were angry with him. You were angry that you hadn't told Killian. You were angry that this couldn't have happened the first time.

"Does he know about the baby?" Smee's voice had softened.

"No he doesn't bloody know! If he did he wouldn't have went off to find that damned necklace!" You shouted, tears bursting out onto your cheeks. The anger had faded quickly being replaced with frustration and guilt. You dropped down onto your bed burying your face in your hands.

"I couldn't tell him.. Not until I was sure," you sniffed, trying your best to regain your composure.

"I couldn't do that to him again... I couldn't do that to myself." You broke down into a sob unable to control the guilt that flooded through you.

"It- It's okay (F/N)." Smee tried to comfort you sitting on the bed next to you. You leaned against Smee continuing to sob.

"I'm sure he'll be thrilled when he finds out." He kept trying to comfort you. You hoped that Smee was right.

...

Multiple months had passed. You carried a tray in your hand your other resting on your large stomach. You stopped at one of the tables and served them their drinks. "How much longer (F/N)?" One of the men asked.

"Sometime this week according to Raia," you smiled. They nodded excitedly. You'd settled into the town nicely. You swore that some of the residents were more excited about this baby than you were and that was saying something! You'd never been so excited in your life! Well... Except for the time you'd beaten Killian in a sparring match. Seeing him on his back was definitely a change that you quite enjoyed. You giggled at the memory as it raced through your head. You went back to the counter and sat down at one of the benches. You placed your tray aside and caressed your stomach.

"You should rest (F/N)," Lane suggested, walking over to you.

"What do you think I'm doing?" You huffed, playfully. You looked around the tavern toward the tables where Killian and his men had taken. You could practically hear their laughter echoing in your mind. You cringed slightly as pain jolted through your body.

"Are you alright?" Lane questioned. You nodded biting the inside of your cheek. It was worse than the usual pain you'd been having.

"(F/N)! (F/N)!" Smee burst into the tavern and ran toward you.

"Easy Smee, you might strain something," you giggled, the pain settling.

"I received word from the Captain!" He squealed. Your heart seemed to flutter.

"And?" You encouraged, your eyes lighting up.

"They'll be returning in a few weeks!" he yipped. A few weeks was still a long wait, but it was good news. You weren't sure how they'd gotten in contact, but that didn't matter to you.

"You didn't tell him did you?" Smee shook his head in confirmation.

"He knows nothing. Your surprise is still intact!" He beamed. You stilled a wetness pooling between your legs. Your eyes widened.

"Good, because I think the surprise is coming,"

...

In your arms she laid. She was beautiful in your eyes. You cradled her against your body smiling tiredly down at her. "What are you going to name her?" Raia asked, standing next to you along with a few other women that had helped you. You pondered the question. Only one name had stirred within you.

"Alice," you purred, pressing a kiss to her tiny forehead. The women cooed I agreement.

"Beautiful. You should rest (F/N). We will watch over her for you," Raia soothed, offering her arms to you. You didn't want to part with your new joy, but you knew that Raia was right. You handed off Alice concern flashing in your eyes as Raia began to walk away. She dismissed the other women.

"Rest (F/N). We will be here when you wake," she murmured, sitting down in a wooden rocking chair across the room. You carefully brought yourself down into a comfortable position. You'd be sore for weeks. You chuckled lightly at the thought. You weren't sure why but it was funny. You brought your hands to your stomach and closed your eyes. You were grateful for the sleep that overcame you.

...

"Charms! Please get you charms before it is too late!" The boy called. You walked down the market spotting the young boy.

"What's going on?" You asked, walking up to him.

"Grandma had predicted a curse. A curse that will send everyone away. She's made charms to keep people safe," he explained, breathlessly. Your eyes went to her booth. She was swarmed by people. You patted the boys shoulder and walked toward her booth. The crowd split allowing you through.

"Raia?" She smiled up at you.

"Why hello dear! How are you feeling?" She chirped, not seeming worried by any of the things she predicted.

"I have been better thank you; what's going on?" She patted an empty chair next to her and you took the offer. You were happy that Smee was watching over Alice otherwise the noise of the market would have upset her.

"A curse my dear. The Evil Queen has found a curse that is going to separate us from our homes and send us to a strange world," she explained, calmly. She continued to hand out her small charms.

"What are we to do?" You asked.

"These will keep everyone together. I am unsure if it will keep us in this world, but they will at least keep families together." You frowned sadly slumping against the chair. Your family wasn't complete. Worry tugged at your gut. What if you were sent away without Killian? Raia's hand gently grasped yours.

"Take a deep breath dear. You'll be alright," she soothed.

"You will be reunited with your husband soon," she smiled. You took a deep breath and calmed yourself down as best as you could.

"May I have one of those charms?" You said, shyly. She let out a laugh.

"You don't need one dear!" she chirped, handing out another. You gave her a confused tilt of your head.

She looked at me and pointed to the necklace that hung around my neck. "You already have one," her smile stayed warm. You touched the necklace around my neck. You'd decided to hook the small pendant onto a leather string. It was too beautiful to leave in the satchel you'd stuffed it in your first day here.

"You've known that long?" You questioned. She nodded in confirmation.

"Then why tell only me?"

"Because you are special dear." You opened my mouth to speak again, but she'd turned her full attention back to the task at hand. You joined her scooping up some of the charms and handing them to anyone who wanted them. She wasn't having anyone pay for them which was kind of her. You would've made people pay you thought

You chuckled to yourself. That was your pirate lifestyle thinking. You kept handing out charms until there were no more to give. The crowd was completely gone which made you assume that she'd made enough for the whole village. She reached into her pocket and pulled out two more charms. "For Smee and Alice," she encouraged, placing them in your hands. You nodded your thanks and stood as the boy returned. He took your place next to his grandma.

"Farewell Raia!" You called, over your shoulder as you began to leave.

"Farewell dear," her voice answered. You headed back to the tavern and into your room. Smee was over excited for your return. He handed Alice off to you with an exhausted sigh. It made you giggle. He wasn't the best with children and she was a handful. You sat on your bed cradling her in your arms. Her small eyes looked widely up at you. You began to coo and talk softly toward her stroking her head. You gave a silent look to Smee asking him to leave. He bowed his head and disappeared from the room closing the door behind him.

"We'll be alright Alice," you murmured.

...

The oncoming curse had sent panic through the village. Everyone trusted that Raia's charms would work, but they were still on edge. You stood at the window with Alice in your arms. You could see the clouds of the curse approaching swiftly over the sea. You couldn't help but fear for Killian. What if he got caught in the curse? You'd never see him again. You tried to swallow the fear remembering what Raia had told you. You'd see him again. What if you were both sent away? You shook your head and turned your back to the window. "(F/N)? Lane has called everyone into the tavern," Smee called, appearing in the doorway. You followed him downstairs into the tavern. All of the other employees were huddled at one large table. You joined them sitting comfortably with Alice. Smee sat next to you.

"We'll all be alright. Everything will be fine," Lane assured. The women chattered anxiously amongst themselves. You looked toward the windows of the tavern seeing the large cloud looming over the city. The room began to tremble. Everyone huddled together small cries rising from some of the women. You clutched onto Alice holding her against your chest. You lowered your head to her and tried to sooth her. Everyone yelped as the cloud seemed to go through the room rattling it. The windows shattered spraying the floor with small shards of glass. You covered Alice keeping her as safe as you possibly could. You were truly terrified. The moment seemed to last forever until the curse vanished. Slowly everyone began to stir standing and looking around.

"We should go check on the village," one of the ladies whined. You agreed with her your body trembling slightly. Your group carefully made their way out of the tavern. The windows in each building had been shattered as well leaving glass everywhere. More people sprung from their homes greeting and hugging each other. They were glad to be together.

"Help! Someone help!" the young boy raced through the crowd.

"Slow down boy! What's wrong?" Lane huffed, grabbing hold of the boy to stop his running.

"My- my grandma! She's gone! The curse took her!" He cried, tears streaming down his cheeks. Your heart tightened with sadness. Gasps spread among the crowd.

"She didn't have a charm for herself.. And it took her." He buried his face against Lane's stomach. His body was wracked his sobs. You looked around seeing that the village was mourning the loss. You joined them in mourning rocking Alice gently back and forth in a desperate attempt to sooth her sudden burst of tears. Smee rested a hand on your shoulder squeezing it reassuringly. Raia had become a good friend and now that she was gone your hope was fading. She'd been the one keeping your spirits up for Killian's return, but now that she was gone you began to doubt. You swallowed and pushed the damaging thoughts behind you.

"We should do something to honor her," you blurted, drawing the town's attention to you. Calls of agreement rang out.

"We should make her a statue!" One boomed. More agreement rang out. So it began; the town went to work in an instant. You understood that this was their way of remembering and grieving and you didn't judge. You sighed and returned to the tavern trudging to your room. You placed Alice down in the safety of her wooden cradle. Her cries ceased once you sat on the edge of your bed. You looked out of the broken window your gaze catching on the sea.

"Return to me Killian..."

...

Four long weeks since curse had past. You found yourself in your room with one of the young women from the tavern. She had been helping you care for Alice after the curse. The pair of you exchanged stories laughing and chatting comfortably. You jumped as your door was flung open. Smee leaned against the doorframe gasping for breath. "Smee? What's wrong?" You asked, standing from your place on the bed. He held up his finger signalling that he needed to catch his breath. You waited patiently.

"Ship.. Coming into the docks.. Captain-" Your eyes widened. You didn't let Smee finished as you pushed past him and ran down the stairs. You bolted from the tavern and to the docks as fast as your legs would carry you. The Jolly Roger came into view and you could see Killian's men unloading. You spotted the back of his raven black hair standing on the helm. You kept running ignoring the greetings from the crew. You practically flew onto the deck.

"Killian!" His attention was on you in seconds. He came down the stairs and met you halfway. With a joyful laugh he wrapped his arms around your waist and spun you around gracefully. Your arms flew around his neck for balance as he finally set you down. You greedily pressed a kiss to his lips having missed the taste of him. He grunted into the kiss surprised by the force of it. You could tell he was smiling. You parted for a moment. He tried to speak, but you cut him off with another kiss drawing a stuttered laugh from his chest. He pulled his head back keeping the rest of your body tucked perfectly against his own.

"Easy love, you might suffocate me," he purred, resting his forehead against yours.

"I missed you," you whined, happy tears daring to seep out.

"I missed you too. I'm glad you're okay love. We heard about the curse and I was so frightened that you had been taken by it," he admitted, his hand gently coming to stroke your cheek. You brought your hand up and laced your fingers with his trapping his hand against your cheek.

"I thought the same," you murmured, your gaze not leaving his. Anxiety suddenly rushed through you. You'd somehow completely forgotten about Alice.

"Killian, there is something I need to tell you," you began.

"Captain!" Smee's voice interrupted. Killian slowly slipped away from you and to his first mate.

"Ah! Smee! I assume you kept her out of trouble while I was away," he boomed, hitting Smee on the shoulder.

"Well I uh- I tried my best sir," Smee stammered, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. Great job Smee. A frown formed across Killian's face.

"What do you mean?" You could see the concern. Smee's eyes turned to you. You gave him a stern look.

"I- uh- um... I'll go help unload the ship! (F/N) uh- Angel is watching over... Alice." Without another word Smee hurried off.

"Alice? Who is Alice? Love what's going on?" Killian returned to you. You gently reached out and grabbed his hook.

"It would be best to show you." You bowed your head and tugged him along with you. Killian followed staying a step behind you the whole time. He was basically breathing down your neck which made you nervous. You walked up the stairs and released Killian.

"Wait," you told him before going into the room. Angel stood from the bed and handed Alice to you.

"Thank you Angel, you may go," you dismissed. She bowed her head before hurrying out. Once she left Killian slowly entered. He froze in place his eyes widening at the sight in front of him.

"Killian, meet Alice," you cooed, gracefully coming to stand in front of him. He furrowed his brow. You could make out the conflict in his eyes which told you everything you needed to know. He didn't realize it was his. You giggled drawing his attention from the baby back to you.

"Why are you-"

"She's yours Killian," you whispered. His eyes widened a little more in disbelief.

"W- What?" He gasped.

"She's yours," you beamed, gently handing her to Killian. He took her in his arms holding her in a way that his hook wasn't a danger to her. The quick and soft smile that crossed his dashing face caused your heart to melt.

"How long?" He asked, looking up at you.

"I knew a week before you left," you answered, quietly.

"Why didn't you tell me?"You could see a hint of hurt in his expression.

"I-" you paused letting out a sigh.

"I didn't want to put you through that... If she.." You choked on your sentence.

"Oh love." He leaned forward and captured your lips once more. There was no force behind the kiss this time. It was sweet and endearing. You wrapped your arms around his waist bringing your body close to his arms and Alice.

"I love you (F/N)," he murmured, his eyes on Alice.

"And I love you Killian."

...

Once the boat had been stocked with supplies it was time to take off. The village came to see you off each one offering you a hug or a gift for your travels. "We will miss you (F/N). Please do not be a stranger!" They suggested. You held back your tears as you thanked them for their hospitality and acceptance. You were apart of their family and you intended to come back. You looked up at Killian who held Alice in his arms. You couldn't help but giggle at the rounded object pressed onto the tip of his hook. Baby proof!

"Be safe (F/N)," Lane sighed, hugging you tightly.

"We will be. Thank you Lane." You boarded the boat stealing Alice away from Killian. You followed Killian to the helm of the ship standing at his right side with Alice in your arms. You'd missed the sea and now you would go as a family.

Forever Taglist

@elainqueenoffireandroses @xaviersmutcnt @raindrops-on-roses142

#killian jones #killian jones x reader #captain hook #captain hook x reader #x reader #fanfiction #once upon a time #ouat

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