#I'm just kinda using this Tumblr to post links to my fics huh...

[lookofhisoceaneyes]

**The Best of the Best: Must-Read Fanfiction Gems**

Hello everyone! As a long-time fanfiction reader and enthusiast, I've come across some incredible stories that have left a lasting impact on me. These are the fanfics that are so well-written and captivating, they deserve to be published as books. Here are my top picks from my favorite fandoms:

Okay before we get into this, a little warning: please read the tags that come with each fanfic. I don't put smutty stuff in here either. (I'll make a separate post for that). There may be some scenes in the fics, but it's not the main focus. This is about story, characters and storytelling.  Also, I didn't list all the fics, probably because I haven't read them yet or simply forgot. Besides, that would just make the post even longer than it is right now. I will definitely do more posts on each fandom, different tropes, characters and settings. Be patient, I'm doing this mainly for myself so that I can better organize my fics. I'm just not that active in some fandoms. If you have any suggestions, feel free to write them and I will read them.

1/4

I can only post 10 links per Post (tumblr does not allow more than 10)

Teen Wolf Fandom: 

1. It came from the trees by whatshouldntbe 

it came from the trees 🍉 - Chapter 1 - whatshouldntbe - Teen Wolf (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

“Don’t worry, Scott caught me up on everything,” Kira assures with a bubbly smile via video-chat. “You and Derek, huh? I probably should have seen that coming. I always thought it might be Cora, but Derek was the one that looked at you how I used to look at you.”

Stiles goes a little pink. “It’s still kinda new but, yeah. I really like him. He’s...” Beautiful. Patient. Smart. Painfully honest. Sweet. “...a total dork.”

Kira laughs and laughs. When she gets herself together, she replies, “Yeah, those little hearts and stars in your eyes definitely say different."

or

Stiles moves from the shiny, fast-paced lifestyle of Los Angeles to the foggy, sleepy town of Beacon Hills so his dad can become the new sheriff. Newly fifteen, he does his best to finish out his freshman year of high school (by staying under the radar) when he suddenly becomes the Beyoncé of the Supernatural community. And, without much prompting on his part, he ends up catching the eye of one of the most prominent Werewolf families in all of North America. It literally all starts with a stuffed animal(s).

🍉 THIS FIC HAS BEEN ABANDONED; READ AT YOUR OWN RISK 🍉

---

Main Ship: Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale

This fic is for people who don't have much experience with fanfic or Teen Wolf. It's long, incomplete but so beautiful. It built a world that I could dive into immediately. Definitely read it!

2. Wolf Within by wynnebat 

Wolf Within - Chapter 1 - wynnebat - Teen Wolf (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

Instead of convincing Scott to regain his humanity by killing the Alpha, Derek offers another possible solution.

—

Main Ship: Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski 

I know a lot of people don't like Peter/Stiles and the ship is more than problematic, but in this story it fits well. What if Stiles had taken over Scott's werewolf powers and no one knows that Peter is the Alpha. I love werewolf Stiles stories simply because I'm sure Stiles would have been the better werewolf.

the podfic: [podfic] Wolf Within - reena_jenkins - Teen Wolf (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

3. What I Did On My Summer Vacation by grimm

What I Did On My Summer Vacation - Chapter 1 - grimm - Teen Wolf (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

There's something weird about Beacon Hills that Stiles can't quite put his finger on. The way everyone in town knows his name the day he arrives. The way they insist the melancholic howling that echoes through the forest every night is just a dog. The way his dad denies getting a dog, even though Stiles comes home to find one sprawled across his bed, some big black thing whose eyes gleam red in the right light. The way that massive oak tree out in the woods vibrates under his touch, pulsing with sickly life.

There's something weird going on in this town, and Stiles is determined to get to the bottom of it.

—

Main Ship: Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale

Do you like fics in which a dog is adopted? Mysterious booksellers with a secret room? Magical creatures and a very mysterious forest? I love this fic, there's a great podfic here too that I can only recommend.

Podfic: [podfic] What I Did On My Summer Vacation - Chapter 1 - read by lunchee (lunchee) - Teen Wolf (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

Supernatural Fandom: 

1. A Beginner's Guide to Communing with the Dead by suspiciousflashlight 

A Beginner's Guide to Communing with the Dead - Chapter 1 - suspiciousflashlight - Supernatural [Archive of Our Own]

Maybe it's the little girl whose disappearance turned into a murder, and whose murder turned into a cold case, and who has now apparently decided to move in with him. Maybe it's the unacceptable hole left in his life when his dumb best friend and partner in (the prevention of) crime decided to go and get himself killed. Maybe it's his brother, whose high-profile career and fantastic girlfriend and first-child-on-the-way are steadily leaving Dean in the dust. Pick one. Pick all of them. The why doesn't matter so much as the what, and the what is this: Dean is pretty sure he's going completely, certifiably insane. Sure, he hasn't started wearing all his clothes inside out, and he still showers on a regular basis (anyways, that's not crazy, just a little eccentric); but there's no getting around the fact that he just threw away his life, his career, and his reputation by dragging out his mom's old necromancy book and summoning a Class A Forbidden Entity to his attic. A cranky one, too. With horrendous bed-head.

---

Main Ship: Dean Winchester/Castiel

Even though I'm not in the supernatural fandom that often anymore, this is a great fanfic. Murder mystery, cop Dean, powerful being Cas and absolutely terrific writing. I love it and could read it all the time.

2. Catching Hell by ADeedWithoutaName

Catching Hell - Chapter 1 - ADeedWithoutaName - Supernatural [Archive of Our Own]

Sam Winchester is, perhaps, the greatest asset to the hunting community. His research, advice, and insight has reached countless hunters and solved innumerable mysteries. His life is solitary, but useful. That changes, however, with the delivery of a captured Knight of Hell who calls himself Dean.

---

Main Ship: Sam Winchester/Dean Winchester (they are not related in this fic!!)

I know, I know, it's billed as Ship Sam/Dean but don't let that scare you away. Sam and Dean are not related in this fic! It's brilliantly written, with Hunter Sam and badass Demon Dean. I highly recommend it.

1D Fandom: 

1. Tired Tired Sea by Mediawhore (only available for ao3 users)

Tired Tired Sea - Chapter 1 - MediaWhore - One Direction (Band) [Archive of Our Own]

As a B&B owner on the most remote of all the British Isles, Louis Tomlinson is used to spending the coldest half of the year in complete isolation, with his dog and the sea as sole companions. Until, one day, a mysterious stranger on a quest to rebuild himself rents a room for the winter.

---

Main Ship: Louis Tomlinson/Harry Styles

From the very beginning, you find yourself on Louis' island and immerse yourself in a world of select solitude. I fell head over heels in love with the writing style and especially with the lighthouse. I long to go on holiday there one day.

2. Love Endless: Road to Recollection by wubwubnparmaham

Love Endless: Road to Recollection - Chapter 1 - wubwubnparmaham - One Direction (Band) [Archive of Our Own]

The year is 1973, and eighteen-year-old Louis Tomlinson is perhaps the gayest teen to ever grace the gloomy, hateful town of Fortwright, Idaho. He has a best friend, Niall, a kindhearted music teacher, and his mother on his side, and everyone else is endlessly trying to kill him

All signs pointed to his life playing out in much the same way it always had, and he was trying his best to come to terms with that.

But the course of that life changed forever when he found the mansion. A notoriously haunted mansion hidden deep within the forests of his tiny blip of a town, it sucked him in and then never let him go.

After discovering the mansion was less abandoned than he'd previously thought, he is now left with the most riveting mystery of a lifetime, each new finding leaving him with more questions. Who is this elusive owner, and why won't they show themselves? Why is there a set of journals in the same handwriting that span over centuries? Who could ever explain owning assumedly authentic ancient Roman garments and relics of the French Revolution in the comfort of their own home? Why in the world is there a padlock on the refrigerator...and who the hell is Alexander?

[Book 1/4]

---

Main Ship: Louis Tomlinson/Harry Styles, Niall Horan/Zayn Malik

brilliantly written, if you like Soulmate's AUs, you've come to the right place. Vampire, 1970s, sassy Louis, what more could you want? And the plot twist is brilliant. Be sure to read the whole series!

3. Escapade by dolce_piccante

Escapade - Chapter 1 - dolce_piccante - One Direction (Band) [Archive of Our Own]

In the grand scheme of things, finding a date for a wedding should be no problem for Louis Tomlinson. He's rich. He's handsome. He's reasonably well behaved. But when the wedding is for his lifelong best friend (and former boyfriend), and is happening in under a month, finding a date for the ceremony and accompanying festivities becomes more of an adventure than he ever could have planned for.

—

Main Ship: Louis Tomlinson/Harry Styles, Niall Horan/Zayn Malik

Very famous classic Larry fanfic. Brilliantly written. dolce_piccante is a great writer, check out their profile! 

[jyushimatsu-falls-in-love]

Rating: T (swear words, Ichi's a pervert) Relationships: Ichi/Homura (or Homura/Ichi, rather :P) Characters: Ichi and Homura Summary: Ichimatsu catches a bad fever, and Homura takes care of him.

I should’ve uploaded this here hours ago orz

This is my super last-minute entry for @jallematsu‘s Bottom Ichimatsu zine!! (contains NSFW and BLmatsu) I was told SFW entries were allowed despite the R-18 rating, so I decided to write up a quick something for it. Something incredibly self-indulgent and sappy, might I add =///w///= (seriously though this has to be one of the most self-indulgent things I’ve ever written thus far for the Ososan fandom hhhh I love domestic Ichimura fluff ♥ I should write more next time)

Many thanks to @hypercatt for being my beta for this fic!! Your comments made me really happy huhuhu ;///v///;

Please enjoy, and tell me what you think!! ( ; ▽ ; )/

[olderthannetfic]

I've always had an appreciation for ao3, especially after coming from ffnet and lj, but after having to work my way through lofter (the main Chinese fic site) I'm ready to just cry actual tears to everyone involved in making ao3 because just wow was it an experience.

I ended up at lofter because I got really into a Chinese novel/donghua that wasn't super popular on English speaking spaces, but was huge in China so I got desperate for content to wander into unfamiliar sites. Good news was that, I did find content! It's been around 5 months and I'm still a long way from running out of content. Bad news is, everything else.

Starting with, lofter has around the same design as tumblr so you can guess how that's gonna work as a fiction posting site. Summaries are not a thing so if you want to try a fic, you're gonna come in with at most 1 general category in the description (canon, ABO, mecha, xianxia, time travel, sentinel/guide) and then the main ship and maybe a secondary ship. And that's it.

This also means that you have no idea if the fic is finished or not, and the only way to check is to go to the authors profile and then go to archives and scroll through all their posts to try and find if the last available post with the fic title was the ending or epilogue. Sometimes authors will tag the title so you can just go that tag and see all the posts but that's not super common, usually the only tag in each chapter is the ship one. This has resulted in some moments when I'm having the time of my life and them I click on next post and it's a different fic, and it hits me...it's unfinished.

And now onto the biggest issue, censorship. As you probably expect, there is censorship in the lofter app. The app automatically detects forbidden words, this including sex related terms so no sex scenes allowed, and also general violence. But there's also words like groan/therapy/resign/satellite/conflict, etc. So authors have to find ways around using any of the terms banned and if they don't or if the list of sensitive words is updated then the post automatically gets deleted.

This has led to some situations where a fic starts in chapter 3 because the other 2 got deleted and as you keep using the app, you kinda get used to that happening. I remember reading a fic that started at chapter 3 and it was fine until chapter 7, because the next chapter available was 10 and after that it went 12, 15,16, 23, 28 and I decided I probably should drop it. Later on when I got used to it, I read about 35 chapters of another fic and there were about 5 missing sporadically, and then I get to a kidnapping at the end of chapter 35 and then the next chapter available is a chapter called epilogue part 2 and the characters are living in America. I have no idea how they got there and I honestly can't really piece it with what I have so I just went "huh" and left it at that.

This situation is more common with 2014-2016 fics. Any more recent and we get into the many ways authors try to get around the restrictions. The simple way is just adding a screenshot of the section with the sensitive word, however if someone reports it then the post still gets take down. Another way is linking to the screenshot on a separate site, but this can also get taken down if reported. The third way is to link to a weibo post that has the images but the weibo post can get deleted if reported. The fourth way is to link to a weibo post and then link in the weibo post another site where it's safe to post sensitive words, but that's usually not preferable since sites where it's safe to do that, are filled with porn advertising gifs. And if you spend too much time in that page, you end up getting redirected to a porn website without even touching any of the ads.

So onto the fifth and most protected way of posting fics. Post the chapter title on lofter and then link to a weibo post that has a link to a third party site that's not filled with porn ads, because it's a pay to see site for creators. I did pay because it's less than a dollar and it goes to the author. After that, you get redirected to the chapter and the chapter is a screenshot of the text that your have to download and flip/invert because it was posted upside down.

….so yeah, that's the lofter and general Chinese fic reading experience.

Also I am by no means looking down or making fun of Chinese fic writers here. I have a large amount of respect for them and the perseverance they have, to find ways to share something they do for free. Just felt like sharing how different things could be for something that most people take for granted. Also this got so long, sorry about that 🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️

--

Wow! Thank you! I don't speak enough Mandarin to try participating in Chinese spaces, so this is fascinating to hear about in detail.

[firefly--bright]

Blooming Hearts

Jean Kirstein x reader (**implied fem, they/them pronouns used) mini series, reincarnation au.

** - implied that reader stays with Sasha and Mikasa in the girl's dorms as a cadet.

summary : you never thought that some freshly bloomed flowers and newly brewed tea would help you meet the one person you desperately wanted to meet.

warnings : some angst

a/n : working on the next chapter of only you, darling next! sorry this took so long, I've been kinda busy lately. this is also the second last chapter of this fic :) this chapter isn't really as good as compared to the others, i just wanted to get it out as soon as I could. oh, and also, you can find the Series Masterlist linked in my main Masterlist. tumblr's tagging system sucks so I'm trying to not put links to old Tumblr posts to see if that helps. thank you for all the patience and kind words!

enter my taglist!

| Main Masterlist is pinned | Fic playlist | requests for jean kirstein and five hargreeves are open! |

--

Chapter Four - Wilting

You gasped, collecting your breath as your shoulders shook from the amount of giggling you were doing.

You shouldn’t have been here, like this, but who would care, right? You deserved this.

You raised your head, wide smile still etched on your face. Jean’s face was mirroring yours, his left hand propped up behind you.

You had been doing your normal chores, going to attend the horses at the stables, holding a large brush in an even larger bucket.

It was a comparatively hot day, hot enough to make a good amount of sweat collect on your forehead. Armin, Mikasa, Eren, Historia and Jean were attending a meeting with the seniors of the scouts. It was almost surreal, the way Marco predicted the fact that Jean would be a leader some day, and here he was, now sitting as a commanding officer. Sasha was probably with Niccolo, and Connie had just left to visit his mom in the now abandoned village as he always did once a month, which left you to do some much needed cleaning around Historia’s cabin.

Historia hadn’t gotten around much, after reading the last letter Ymir ever sent to her, spending much of her time on the porch of her cabin that was used as an orphanage, going inside to interact with the kids once in a while.

The loss of a close loved one does that to people, you thought, chugging the bucket with difficulty.

Suddenly, you had felt a harsh tug on your sleeve, making you jerk to the right.

Your back pressed against the wood on the side of the stable, a shadow overcoming your figure. Your first instinct was to fight them off but as soon as you opened your eyes, you found the familiar charming smile that had first made you fall.

Eyes shimmering, Jean greeted you with a slight laugh at your appearance, for which you did slap his chest. He proceeded to tell you the most hilarious thing that had taken place during the meeting, which happened to be a higher up… farting.

“walls, it wasn’t even that funny, Jean.” You lied, smiling. “I applaud your story telling skills for keeping me hooked, though, 6/10”

“oh, do I get extra points for being so damn good looking?” he asks slyly, attempting to wink but ending up blinking instead, which sent you into yet another laughing fit.

You swore it was the most you’d laughed since Sasha went apeshit on that food Niccolo made, which was about a month ago.

you collected your breath again, finding Jean's hand which was resting next to your face, propped up on the wood. Your head rolled to the side, resting on his forearm.

His eyes were twinkling, a soft look on his face.

“there was… an attempt to wink. I mean, you tried, right?” you said teasingly, shrugging a little at the end.

“uh huh, and what would your grace, the almighty (y/n) rate this, out of a ten?” he asks.

“hmm, probably a 2/10. Not bad, Kirstein. You’d pick up all the girls in town with that.” You say.

He stands up straight at that, removing his hand from it’s previous position, opting to cup your cheeks gently instead.

He brought his nose closer to yours, till they were touching. You felt his nose move as he said, “i don’t need them to look at me when I have you.”

And with that, he kisses you.

Stable duties long forgotten, you kiss him back, hands wandering to the nape of his neck.

He pulls away, “missed you. the meeting was pretty boring without you. and Sasha and Connie, but don’t tell them I told you that.” His face is still close to yours, you feel his lips moving right over your parted ones.

“well I missed you too. Connie just left to visit his ma,” you say, “but I was gonna clean the stables… if you wanna help? Or we can just go home and take a shower and then have an early dinner… relax a bit.” You say, looking into his eyes which light up on the sound of a shower and dinner with you.

“i'd love that.” He said, pulling you in for another kiss

--

you had a noticeable skip in your step as you entered the flower shop.

Jean’s eyes locked on yours, your eyes shining, smile wide, as you greeted him with that all-consuming warmth.

It was consuming Jean, too, but he refused to acknowledge it.

He refused anything to do with you, which absolutely killed him. It had taken him a while to start warming up to Marco and Sasha when he first met them as well, but he didn’t think how hard it would be with you. he had assumed everything with you would have been the same, easy and comfortable yet adventurous and brand new, despite being such an old and tight tie.

His eyes remained to be steely, as he let out the most monotonous “hey,” he could find in him, which still sounded weak in his ears.

Your spirits weren’t deflated yet, though, as you browsed the shop a little. Jean used these moments to admire you, before you made your way to the counter.

“so… I don’t really have any flowers in mind today, so what would you recommend, flower boy?” you asked, placing his hands on the counter, close to his.

His chest tingled. His heart futtered. He could feel his ears heating up at the mere nickname.

He snatched his hands so they were now crisscrossed over his tingling chest, “I don’t know. You should’ve thought about that before coming here.”

The urge to use your special nickname he curated for you was strong, but Jean didn’t give in.

That was one thing about Jean Kirsten: he was stubborn. And he was confident about his stubborn-ness too, which only inflated his ego, puffing his chest a bit.

But now all his chest seemed to be doing was deflating, giving you the treatment he knew you wouldn’t like, nor deserve.l

He saw your shoulders deflate as well, which, again, nothing short of killed him.

You let out a little laugh to get rid of the tension in the room. You weren’t expecting this, it seemed, and understandably so.

Jean wanted nothing but to give you a small bouquet of dandelions, delicately tied with some baby’s breaths, all with a kiss to your knuckles while handing them to you just to see your flustered reaction.

“well, then, I’ll just take five of the… blue violets.” You said, small smile still on your face. You looked more pristine than usual, and Jean wondered if you were going to go do something after this.

Oh, right. He was supposed to leave with you today, to go hang out with Marco and the others.

The day was planned more for you, more for you to catch up with your friends and make even new memories, plan more days.

Only now, seeing how had it was to face you, did Jean realise how much he was going to dread today.

He silently rung your five blue violets up, tying them before handing them to you. The transaction took about five minutes, but they felt like eternity as he tried not to look at your eyes or smell your perfume too much.

Did you change it? It smelled… better, Jean thought. He liked it.

This was exactly what he was dreading.

--

The walk with Jean had been nothing short of boring. A little disappointing, too.

You assumed now, knowing your… soulmate, essentially, would be liberating. And it was! When he held you the other week, everything seemed fine, you felt so whole and complete.

Yet now, you were walking side to side to an absolute stranger who seemed to want nothing to do with you.

The physical part of it was nice, you thought, walking next to someone never felt this good before. All your old feelings revived at his mere presence and you wondered how all it took was his name for your mind to immediately know who he was. Nevertheless, your stride matched his, your feet making a unanimous sound as they scruffed the pavement.

You decided ten minutes into your little walk that you’d give up trying to make conversation with him, which broke your heart just a little.

The sky looked like it was going to rain, as you cursed yourself for not bringing an umbrella.

Flowers still in your hand, you made your way to sasha’s dorm which she shared with niccolo.

--

You sipped your warm coffee as you stepped into the flower shop.

Three months had passed since you first met your old friends. Since then, as planned, you had created more memories with them, too many to count, and it had never felt this good to be so loved and included in a friend group before.

In fact, they had invited you to a party with even more of the old cadet group. Apparently they had all been acquainted before and decided that it was a good idea to have a small party at someone’s house so it would be like “the old days”.

“but, you know, without the killing and all.” Connie had added helpfully.

You, of course, had readily agreed.

The weather was a little windy, greying clouds covering some parts of the sky. You wondered if it would rain today.

The fragrance surrounded you once again, as you welcomed it to hug your clothes.

You gripped your coffee cup a little as you saw Jean behind the counter, as usual, stoic and cold.

You didn’t know why but something had definitely changed after that day you got to know his name. As if knowing your name and knowing the past changed his perception of you.

Maybe he was a different person now? Or maybe he liked someone else? Or maybe he just wanted something new, something different, something not you.

The thoughts stung more than you wanted them to, but it’s not like you could do anything about them. You had tried to talk to him, asking him about his day, what he was up to, but he never answered the way you hoped he would. He give you his usual shrug and a one word answer that allowed no room for further conversation.

You wondered if this was what he really wanted. If being cold and steely towards you was the way he wanted to act with you, or if he was just a really good actor.

Either way, you were hurt.

Yet, you continued your visits to the flower shop, sometimes only to hear his voice. You knew it was probably a long shot but you continued making small talk with him even if you frequented the shop fewer and less enthusiastic. Sometimes you went knowing it wasn’t Jean’s shift, not in the mood to use your social battery on him.

Now, though, you wanted to buy flowers for Sasha, Marco and Connie. You thought it would be a nice gesture and it wasn’t like you hadnt already done it before.

Jean barely acknowledged the bell ringing, much less your presence as you bit back a small sigh.

You walked over to the baskets of carefully segregated flowers sprayed with water, picking each of your friends’ favourite flowers, along with two daffodils for yourself.

Three yellow roses for Marco, a hyacinth stem for Connie, who said he didn’t really have a favourite flower, so you picked the ones that reminded you of him, which also happened to symbolize playfulness. Three Chrysanthemums for Sasha, and you were all set.

Your plans were to meet Marco, Connie, Sasha at Sasha’s dorm, all dressed up, and then you’d leave whenever Niccolo would come to pick you guys up, being the only one with a car.

Silently, you put the flowers infront of Jean, telling him how you wanted it bundled. He obliged, as was his job, sneaking glances at your direction. You caught one, and offered him a small smile.

He quickly looked away, continuing his work. You didn’t know why you hoped he’d return the smile.

He rung you up, as you paid the money, without wasting much time. You felt the need to get away from the shop you used to love so much. A pang went through your heart.

Grabbing the flowers gently, rushing out of the place with them clutched in your hands.

“wait!” you heard Jean call behind you, making you halt and turn around, hope blooming in your chest.

“are you… are you gonna go to the party tonight? With us?” his eyes refuse to meet yours.

“I doubt it’s a full fledged party,” you let out a light chuckle, “but I’ll be going.”

You hoped he was trying. You hoped he started to atleast care. You hoped he knew you appreciated it.

He looked as if he wanted to say something, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. You bit back a laugh at his expression.

Finally, still not meeting your gaze, he says “that’s… nice.”

That’s it?

Its okay. You could be patient, though he was testing your limits.

“I’ll see you then, Jean.” You said, turning around on your heels and speed-walking through the doors missing the way Jean let out a heavy sigh behind you, the bell of the doors drowning out the noise.

--

Jean’s heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest, waiting with anticipation for your arrival in Sasha’s dorm. His leg was bouncing up and down as he sat on Sasha’s bed, fiddling with the belt of the watch his mother gave him when he graduated highschool, claiming he’d look even more handsome with it. Jean wasn’t sure how a watch was supposed to make him look handsome but he wore it nonetheless.

“I think you should talk to them, jeanbo,” he remembered his ma giving him advice when he told her about poppy, “by the way you speak about them it seems like you really like them. You shouldn’t throw that away because of something that might happen.”

She and Marco were the only ones who knew about his situation, but as always, Jean decided to not listen to him.

“just talk to them, Jean.” Marco whispered near him, rather annoyed, which was unlike him. Sasha and Connie were going through Sasha’s closet, trying to figure out what she should wear. Sasha, being a master at procrastinating, had yet to change her clothes and get ready.

Jean leaned back, “I don’t think that’s gonna fix anything, though. I mean, it wont take back the fact that they’re quiet literally destined to be hurt.”

Marco sighs, closing his eyes. Jean was making whatever strong thread marco had that kept him together almost snap. Jean was good at doing that, he thought.

“you know what? Do whatever you want, just… I think you can fix this, I think both you and (y/n) deserve a happy ending. Other than that, I have no comments.” He says, getting up and joining Sasha and Connie, who thankfully didn’t hear his and Jean’s whispered conversation.

“I think this one-“ Connie pointed, but was cut off by a knock Jean just knew was you. he sat up, running a hand through his hair and glancing at marco.

“Talk. To. Them.” Marco mouths.

“youre here!” Sasha says, almost tackling you with a hug.

Jean sighs. Sasha’s love language was rather aggressive. He hoped you weren’t hurt by her antics.

“hey, (y/n)!” Connie greets as Marco smiles warmly at you.

Jean finally gets a good look at you as Sasha lets go of your shoulders.

His breath hitches. If his heart was going fast before he wondered how he was still alive with his heart going so inexplicably rapid.

You looked beautiful, smiling and happy and oh you were smiling at him, and you looked so bright, even under the shitty lighting in Sasha’s dorm, you looked gorgeous.

He gave you a tight lipped smile, seeing yours falter in response.

Jean was a cruel, cruel, person, he thought.

You made your way over to Sasha’s closet, your face immediately brightening and pointing at the dress you thought she’d look good in, in about two seconds.

Sasha gasped, saying something Jean barely listened to as he was too focused on your face, watching your eyes crinkle, your perfume surrounding him warmly, and he never wished he could hold you close to him more than now.

fuck it, he thought. I'll try.

He played with the belt of his wristwatch again, wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans, joining the rest of you. he stood behind you, hesitantly placing a hand on your shoulder, hoping you’d see he was reaching out, hoping it wasn’t too late.

You stiffened initially, but your shoulders relaxed after noticing it was just him.

“okay, I’m gonna get ready now,” Sasha declared, moving to the bathroom to change, “(y/n), choose my makeup later, okay?” she said, shutting the door of the bathroom with no further argument.

“oh, right, I got these for you guys!” you say, perking up and showing them the flowers Kean had tied together that morning.

You gave the yellow roses to Marco, the hyacinths to Connie, and left the Chrysanthemums for Sasha.

Jean felt like he’d been stabbed.

Of course he had wondered why you had bought so many flowers, if they had been for your friends. He wondered if the dandelions were for him, but now, seeing as they weren’t, he wanted to cry.

Had he already hurt you that much? had it been too much?

Three months ago, he would have been a little glad about the fact, he would have been a little glad that you had stopped hoping.

But now, knowing how hard it was to continue this charade for any longer, all he felt was a deep hurt. He had never felt this way, the type of visceral sadness that made his want to sit down and hug himself and shut the world out. he wondered if you felt like this everytime he was no less than a dick to you. he wondered how you lived like that. thinking your only soulmate doesn't want anything to do with you, tossing you aside.

the hurt boiled and bubbled in his chest, the guilt washing up on him in waves. the same heart that was fluttering just a moment ago felt like it now sunk into the depths of the Marianna trench.

he removed his palm that was resting in your shoulder, promptly shoving it in the pockets of his pants and rolled his shoulders back. there were no tears to be blinked away, but the lump in his throat prevented him to speak.

the pain of knowing it was probably too late to fix the things he messed up was just now dawning him.

you made your way to Sasha's closet once again, going through one of her drawers full of makeup products, picking the things she'd need after getting changed, while Marco helped. Connie still stood beside Jean, observing him carefully.

"something happened, didn't it?" Connie said, loud enough for only Jean to hear him.

Jean only looked at him. maybe it was because Connie knew Jean for longer than anyone did in this room, maybe it was because Jean wasn't doing such a good job at hiding his hurt as he thought he was, but Connie nodded, patting Jean's back stiffly yet comfortingly : his way of showing affection.

Jean still appreciated it, though he couldn't find it in him to speak.

"you can fix it." Connie said, leaving Jean standing in the middle of the room as he went to join you and Marco.

Jean looked at you, laughing at something Connie had said about mascara, your laugh crinkling the corner of your eyes beautifully.

he hoped he wasn't too late.

--

jean could hear his breathing in his own ears, he could feel someone holding him in an uncomfortable position, yet he couldn't move.

he felt the imminent fear of the titans rushing towards him and whoever was holding him, the person frantically waving their blade in order to keep both Jean and them safe.

he could hear faint sniffles, gasping, struggling from the person holding him. the last thing he remembered was that he saved Mikasa from a Titan and...

what was happening?

why couldn't he open his fucking eyes? why couldn't he move?

the person holding him stopped waving their blade, a louder, surprised gasp coming from them.

Jean finally pried his eyes open at that, the lack of warm air from the titan's nostrils compelled him to check what was happening.

he blinked his eyes blearily, groaning a bit in the process. he felt the sweat drip off his forehead as he looked at the person holding him.

armin.

he followed armin's eyes, where Jean assumed the Titan was standing, but instead found its corpse.

someone had killed it, saving both Jean and Armin in the process. not just someone, but... you.

the sun was gleaming behind your sillohette, lighting up only the sides of your face as you prevented more titans from approaching him. Jean couldn't see your face clearly, his eyes still blurry and lungs still hurting, but he remembered thinking that he'd never forget this.

he'd never forget the way you were fighting for him, the way you used the titans themselves to grapple the hook of your ODM gear to, the way you guided yourself with strength and bravery.

Jean would also never forget the way he was angry.

why would you not care about your own life? why would you risk your life to save his?

he remembered scolding you about it later.

the little argument would then turn into his first kiss with his soulmate.

and Jean remembered thinking he'd never forget it.

--

[kuchenackerman]

you're an eremika fan so i figured i'll ask haha. i wrote my first EM fanfic and i'm so apprehensive about actually uploading it. i don't think i'm too bad a writer, but self proofing can only go so far and i'm concerned as to whether it'll actually gain any traction or not. do you know if people still read eremika fanfics/how do you gather the confidence to post your work? :/ also ur rad!

First of all, congrats on writing your first eremika fic! I wonder if by this time you already published it though? You sadly sent me this ask when I was focused on writing and editing an update to my own EM fic, so I probably was reserving my last two adhd braincells to be able to finish it lmao, which is why I didn’t reply in time and then... I forgot to do it and for that I’m very sorry!

If you still don’t publish your fic or you’re still interested on my answer, I’ve seen other people go through a similar struggle, and as a fellow writer I can understand your concern regarding of whether your fic will gain traction or not. When it comes to this last thing, it often depends on many factors, like on how active the fandom is by the time you publish your fic, on what people are looking to read about lately (i.e. fluff, angst and/or smut) and on the ship developments (or lack of it) currently going on in the manga. For example, as far as I remember, after chapter 123 dropped people were writing and reading oneshot fics about the “what am I to you?” flashback, and basically the same happens whenever we get some tasty (?) and especially angsty EM-related scenes in the manga (including chapter 112, lol). Writers get inspired to “fix” or develop these panels further and readers crave that content as well, so they kinda jump on it right after it gets published. In these cases, authors often get a quick and decent amount of feedback in a short span of time, which is amazing. When you are one of these authors with the ability to swiftly pull out a wholesome oneshot related to a fresh eremika scene, I guess you don’t have to worry THAT much about whether it will get at least a bit of attention or not, because people are going to be thirsty for that content and will consume it as soon as it’s available. Most of these readers are going to show appreciation for it in terms of likes, reblogs, kudos, comments, etcetera, without you having to wait too long. 

When we publish fics that aren’t related to the manga current developments and stuff, the first thing to do is to be able to get the reader’s attention with a catchy summary and the proposal of an interesting plot / situation between Eren and Mikasa. To increase the chances of people reading your stuff, it’s also important to make a post with the fic’s link and info here on Tumblr and on other social media platforms like Twitter, always using the eremika tag. 

And yeah, I assure you there’s a lot of people who still read EM fics. There’s even been an interesting influx of new eremika shippers thanks to what’s been going on during the timeskip and in latest chapters. However, between 2013 and early 2015 the SnK fandom overall was way more active and also fic writers got way more feedback. We have to consider that there was a more limited supply of EM fics back then of course, especially in 2013-2014, so I guess the feedback was also way more concentrated while the demand was kinda bigger than nowadays. If you’ve checked old fics mostly on FFnet that were published years ago, you probably already saw and know what I mean. I mention this because it’s important to not compare the amount of feedback that most EM fics receive today with what those older fics got. The reality of the fandom is too different now after the initial hype...

Regarding your question about gathering confidence, well, in my case I don’t have confidence issues in general and less when it comes to fandom. What I do is to just do something I feel like doing, enjoy the process of doing it and then put it out there without further questions. I don’t think I’m the best writer or anything, but I do believe in the value of what I write and of the other things I make. There are a few times when I look at what I’ve written and I’m like “pfft this sucks” and get very critical about it, while at other times I’m like “ohh, that’s some good shit! I really wrote that myself, huh? *pats own back*”, though most of the time I’m mainly conscious about the effort, love and creativity I pour into what I write among the enjoyment (and suffering lmao) I experience when I’m on it, which makes me appreciate it more. In your case, you already wrote something and you know it involved a degree of effort and time, so why not going ahead and sharing it? Even more so when showing it to others was your intent since the very beginning~

I think it’s totally worth it to share what you’ve written rather than never allowing it to see the light of day because of self-doubts. As with many other situations, you take a risk when you put something out there for others to see and dissect, but you also get the chance to receive nice responses that can make your day and, since readers provide you with feedback that help you to be more aware of your strengths and weaknesses, you also get the chance to improve your writing skills.  

We love the same amazing pairing and it deserves way more content and love, so please, give it a try and share your fanfic with the fandom!