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hisredhysteria · 2 years

Text

Blood in the Water.

[18+ MDNI]

Note: I guess this weekend is dedicated to Cutthroat...? This writing is what I was working on for myself as my (now late) birthday gift, so it's self indulgent. Since I post the wildest stuff anyways though, I thought maybe someone else wouldn't mind reading this. Even if it's 10 years from now....if you're reading this and my blog still exists in 10 years hi omg- I should add it's in my usual style so I kept the reader vague, it's not that kind of self-indulgent fic—

TW: There is no 'real smut' but it gets suggestive. blood, knives, implied murder or NSFW (depends how you choose to see it I guess... I chose to see it as murder and you may be able to tell by the way I wrote it, but rereading it....I could see how it might be taken in another way.) The reader is being threatened by a knife, so I will not call it knife play. However, I will warn that it sounds like that. So then I'd have to say noncon just in case.

Summary: You decide to take a bath ...and how dare you take one without Cutthroat.

Rainy days were when most nightmare inducing incidents at least threatened to occur. From soaking wet shoes to moist humid skin, frizzy and matted hair would seem so small by comparison. They were a day like any other however, even if it meant they were a little bit different.

An arm snaked around your waist while the two of you slept, it was all the comfort you could have hoped to ever ask for. Something that Cutthroat couldn't easily deny you of, it was just another luxury that came along with the innocent title marking you as his.

A precious angel.

Tugged in so close tonight that if he pressed into you a little further, your organs would simply pop from your mouth and sides, an unkind sickness bubbled from the whispering heat. It was delightfully suffocating, yet another thing you could rarely hope to bear. Sweat built, sticky through your clothes as the fire like warmth of his body pushed so far into your back. Breaking away from his iron like grasp was impossible, could you have even asked?

You laid with your head to the pillow, parting your lips for just another painful breath. Letting in a heavy inhale that must have caused him to stir, you shut your eyes tight with anticipation for the worst.

"Cutthroat..." Your throat unexpectedly sore, still happened to work.

"Hm..~?" A sleepy voice hummed back to you, his grasp only provoked to be at its strongest. Loosening to explore your body for just a second, you felt his bandaged hand sneak its way underneath the hem of your shirt. Lifting it, almost. With the expectation for his hand to slide across your stomach, or even just lay bare flat, it instead desperately grabbed at the waist of your shorts. It had been as if Cutthroat only knew what you were about to ask him. Sinking in your own ill feeling though, you had to bring yourself to do this.

"I'm not feeling too well... Can I go to the bathroom...?"

Silence never sat long around the Murderer, it wasn't something he preferred. His hands only tightened now, like he'd refuse to set you free.

"..But...the sun's not up yet.. If you go now, the bed will get cold...." Cutthroat's half-asleep voice whispered back in dismay, his own breath still hotter than his body against you.

"I'll be quick, I promise."

A barely audible gasp and you knew he just had to be smiling. How pretty the word promise was leaving your lovely, innocent lips. Begrudgingly still in his own right, Cutthroat allowed his hand to release and slip from your body. A growing ache only worsening as he did so.

"You really promise you won't be long...?" He asked, testing your honesty for himself.

"Of course."

A careful eye peeked open nonetheless at your words, Cutthroat wouldn't hold himself back from watching to make sure that you'd make it to the door okay. As you worked to stand up, the dizziness encountered from both heat and lack of eating that night hit you all at once and you stumbled to reach balance. Your body was sick with temperature, but it was kind enough to barely manage without plummeting straight to the floor.

Your hips bumped into the doorframe, and that was when you realized, this quick trip to the bathroom wasn't going to be as short as you swore with a promise. Head spinning to accompany your hazy vision, you placed a hand to it like there was some way your neck wasn't holding it in place quite right. Your hand wouldn't manage to hold it in place either though, and the only thing you could do was support yourself on the walls of the hall as you reached the bathroom at long last.

You slapped the dim light bulb on and wasted no time to click the door locked behind you. Hardly able to stop yourself from collapsing to the floor inside, you felt your eyes flutter like they did when you went in and out of a peaceful rest. A sigh left your lips before you'd allow your legs to rest on the cold ledge of the bathtub, so devious and white. Relief washing over you, a wandering glance couldn't be helped. Your eyes surveyed a shine, so beautiful the blinding glint to each handle bar of the tub happened to be. Swallowing hard at the knot in your stomach, your head grew with pressure as saliva slid down your throat.

"I know I said I'd be quick.." You murmured to yourself, predicting that any late appearance back to the bed next to Cutthroat would have been troublesome. "But, the worst he could do is follow me in here..."

Your thoughts weighed bricks as you fought with the idea of twisting the handles and pushing the tubs sprout down to fill a warm bath for yourself. If Cutthroat was asleep again, you could get away with it. But if he'd been awake, hearing the water run through the pipes was sure to elicit some sort of response. Be it good or bad.

Against your better judgement, a hand made contact with cool metal, so clean you could catch your reflection in it as if it'd been a mirror. Rotating it carefully at first, water drizzled from the faucet. Waiting a second, then just a few more, when Cutthroat didn't come to throw the door open, you figured yourself to be safe. A little farther this time, you turned the handle and a loud waterfall unlike any other began to spill into the empty tub. Watching it fill for a second after the sound enveloped the air, you stood to your shaky legs and slipped your clothes off. Moist with sweat soaking through from your skins rising temperature, the feeling was nearly abysmal.

Your shirt came off first, lifting it up then feeling hair fall flat back to your neck as the bottom came over your head. Next, your shorts. Slipping a finger into the hem that rested against your body, you tugged them down and off your legs, stepping out as you did so. Last were your remaining undergarments, so familiar to you that you might as well have forgotten you'd ever put them on to begin with.

Setting a foot into the waters surface, you sat opposite to the faucet, still hurrying to pour it's warm liquid into the bathtub. You'd been dangerously lightheaded, and with fear of the world swirling just a little faster, you let this bath be only a warm one.

Eventually it came time where the racing water filled so close to the brim from your distracted attention that you could ignore it no longer. Leaning in, your hand forced itself to turn each nozzle and beckon the water to a halt. A few more drizzles like rain starting to cry, small drops fell into the tub before it ceased to a complete stop. Finished with no interruptions, your hand drew back the long shower curtains to ensure an illusion of safety.

Relaxing now wasn't any word used to describe how your tense body felt leaning back against the slippery porcelain. Nonetheless, it was only slightly better than having to bear another tight hug from Cutthroat. Shifting lightly, you fluttered your eyes shut and drowned in the unpleasant feeling of your head pounding with ache. The pressure at your temples was unforgiving, almost as much as how uncomfortable you were being forced to endure your bodies own agony. A soft whimper emitting from your lips, your heart would begin to do a routine as creaks in the walls became too close for comfort.

"It's just your imagination.." You whispered, your own attempts to console yourself being very hard to prove successful. Tingles shot down your spine, a foreign feeling for the warm water that surrounded you. Something felt a little amiss, but to point your finger at it was a little too real. So real, that perhaps this imagination of yours was a dream. A nightmare your weary body went through when you began to doze off like a sleepy child.

In and out of your dazed like state, wind whistled through the cracks of the bathroom window hardly ajar behind it's curtains. An echo bounced through your ears, harsher and more deafening the longer you left it to linger. As if a ghost was trying to break down the walls and tell you something, your eyes ripped back open at a bang slapping against a hard surface. An observation dropped with horror unmatched as you forgot any aches and pains to glare through the translucent shower curtains. The bathroom door flat against the wall Cutthroat threw it against, you shivered.

"Oh...that was easier than I thought..." He noted, peeking inside the small room to catch your frame hidden behind see through curtains. How rude it was of you not to invite him, and how much ruder it was to have not invited him to a party this thrilling.

Eyeing your disregarded clothing sprawled across the bathroom rug, Cutthroat's interest only piqued. His lips pursed softly, bending down now to glance at you through the mere plastic sheet you felt a deceitful safety behind.

"Can I join~?" He hummed, forgetting any promises you made to make it back to the bed in a timely manner. Had he found you doing just about anything other than sitting in the water of a bath right now, surely he'd have been just a little more hurt.

A treacherous route to take—permitting him to submerge within the same water as you—your glance only shifted and your shoulders barely shrugged. It wasn't as though you weren't sure if he could join, it was that you weren't too sure if he should join. Nevertheless, what would happen if you tested him with the refusal of a simple no? Perhaps a long winded explanation could further deter him as he grew impatient with boredom.

"I don't mind..."

"Ah-! Good choice..! I knew my angel wouldn't...~"

It was all you had to say because in the end, a "no" would have never worked on Cutthroat to begin with.

Watching his taller frame further enter the bathroom and close the door, a sense of feeling trapped threw you off. Your mouth acted like it was ready to ask him why he felt the need to shut it, even when he often liked to leave it how it was when he opened it. You shut your mouth however, and figured he had a reason.

Half expecting him to pull the curtains back and indulge within this experience fully clothed, Cutthroat wasn't going to waste an opportunity to feel closer to his angel than he already was. Fumbling with the buttons on his white pajama top with you still avoiding eye contact, he gave a frustrated hum like they held a grudge against his fingers.

"Come on.... I can't do it..." He fussed, narrowing his eyes as he looked down at the buttons. Smug soon there after as he remembered who he was in the room with. "...But maybe my angels touch can do the trick?"

An obvious scheme to get closer to you, a trick that you left to fly straight over your dizzy head for the moment. You being the angel he spoke about, Cutthroat's hand pulled back the shower curtain as he politely peeked into the small enclosure you had for yourself.

"Come closer then.." You answered his request too kindly, watching his lovely features light up with an excitement enough to make your heart pound faster. Reeling the curtains to the side, he knelt down to the edge of the tub, allowing you an easier reach. Doing so, you'd expect your eyes to have met his at least once or twice with a tension building awkwardness. Oddly enough though, his entranced eyes were fixated on something above your head, like you had birds circling above you at all times.

Working down the buttons and stumbling across a few with a shaky and sick hand, eventually when you got halfway down, something loud and ear piercing slammed against the floor.

"Oh no, there goes my knife...." Your partner blinked, seemingly upset for the edge to become duller from a blunt impact against its blade. If he hadn't expected that, then what exactly was the knife doing up his pajama shirt in the first place..?

"Cutthroat.." You whispered, his eyes widening at the sweet tone you hit him with. "Put it on the sink."

The instructions weren't a surprise, at least not to yourself. Though, Cutthroat wouldn't let something so out of place for him happen.

"Can't I leave it on the bathtub side instead..?" He whined back, a compromise he'd hope was acceptable to you. Especially given that it was where he'd place it if you hadn't caught him with it.

Apprehensive, you agreed with a small, "fine" seeing as the look on his face wasn't something to easily argue with.

Grabbing the knife as you finished unbuttoning his top, he placed it on the very edge of the tub next to you. Shampoo bottles and every other kind of body cleansing container laid by it.

"There." You flashed him a weak smile, watching him straighten up and slip the top off each of his arms. Letting it fall to the floor on top of your own clothing, he wasted little time with his own pants and undergarments as well. Hard not to catch his eye or let him clue in on the fact that you were even threatening to look towards his bare body, Cutthroat's foot broke the equilibrium of the peaceful bath water.

An "ah..~", left his pleased lips as the surface made contact with pale skin. On the opposite side he chose to sit of you, legs close to your own. Almost like they fit into a puzzle, the stance was so intimate that his own cheeks would dust themselves in an arousing pink. Eyes filled to their maximum with your glowing beauty, a mischievous glint at the sight of you was something Cutthroat didn't dare to hide. A fool would have thought he'd sit so still with you in the tub across from him because that's exactly what he didn't do.

"Where are the bubbles..?" He asked, scanning around as his finger swirled itself amongst the clearness. Daring to dip in a whole hand and watch it drain from his grasp and back into the tub, Cutthroat shot you a suddenly bored glare.

"Isn't water its prettiest when it's clear?" You challenged, leaning your leg against his own when your body finally decided to loosen up.

Enlightened perhaps, his eyebrow cocked down at the water, then your leg touching his. He couldn't find himself to argue with your truthful observation as his own leg pressed further into yours in response.

"Huh, I suppose it is then..."

Again, your eyes shut and your back gently pushed itself into the end side of the tub. Feeling safer with every moment passed where Cutthroat didn't initiate anything, the sound of a bottle popping and releasing pent up air caused you to jump. In the split second after, your consent wasn't necessary as a hand began to rub at the skin of your leg. One eye opening to see what you were feeling, Cutthroat had been lathering soap into you with just his bare hand.

How strange.

His touch wasn't the most delicate, but it wasn't at all an unpleasant feeling. At least, your heart wouldn't tell you that was so.

"Wouldn't a wash cloth be more sanitary...?" You asked, blinking down at his hand. Eyes widening at the soaking bandages he seemed to refuse taking off even in the tub, you frowned. Sighing too, you leaned back up and put out an empty hand like you'd been waiting for him to place something in it.

"Hm, why the hand?" Stopping the lathering of soap across your sensitive skin, Cutthroat most nearly seemed confused by the gesture you had yet to explain.

"Your arm will chafe underneath your bandages if you don't take them off in the water. I thought I told you that..."

Still, his eyes looked at you. It would have been ignored had anyone else brought this up to him, but because it was someone as special to him as you were, he set his arm into your hand and waited for you to pull at the wet cloth hiding his skin. Again to add, he was impatient. Had it taken a stranger to work this long on him, Cutthroat would have already pulled away. However, he was nearly entranced by the way your fingers slipped between the crevices and worked to rip the bandages off of him entirely.

"Feel better?" You asked, discarding the soggy mess of entanglements to the tubs side temporarily. Glaring at his hand and lifting it up as if he'd never seen what it looked like underneath, his vision skewed from it's focus to center on something above your head again. If a small gasp was any indication that he'd been seeing something you couldn't, then perhaps each one should have alarmed you further.

"What is it..?" Unaware, of what swirled on top of you, you questioned him. His hand dropped and enchantment fell upon him at your presence. If... it hadn't done so already.

"Can I come closer?" He asked, a smile on his lips for he'd already started to lean in without your permission.

Flustered, your back pushed further into the white porcelain behind you. Not hard enough to disturb your body, but just hard enough so that you were no longer comfortable. Opening your mouth to speak, the sound of water shifting and spilling back into itself filled the air as Cutthroat moved into a position to accommodate his intentions. Pulling your legs in and allowing him more room to move as he pleased, you really were absolutely no help to your own pending fate.

His own legs now pressed into yours as if they weren't close enough to you previously, you were most nearly being straddled in place underneath his wet body. Streaming water dripping back into the tub from Cutthroat's stance, you got quite the front row seat of just everything he had to offer. If you hadn't been so fearful that he'd sink you by your shoulders and drown you into the tub, appreciating him would have been more possible.

"What are you doing?" You asked, so late that not even a tardy slip should have been able to excuse this.

"..Getting closer...I can't touch you when you're so far..."

It was an interesting thing for the Murderer to say, given that in a tub meant for one, you were already as many as two. His excuse to come closer wasn't too uninvited, despite all your uneasiness. Your heart would hate to inform you though, that his lips were tracing the skin of your neck.

Unsure of how to feel from the closeness at which he came, you couldn't miss the screeching sound of a knife being slid across the ledge of the tub he set it on. To help himself now was his pleasure, and with you beneath him there was little chance for your escape.

Sicker than before, a horrific feeling set at the deathly cold blade. Skimming across the skin of your collarbone, his hot breath whispered love with it.

"You'll finally belong to me now.."

Eyes growing wide at the unfair statement, you felt your legs begin to shake.

"I what ...?" You whispered back, tilting from the blades end. His motive remaining almost unclear.

For the sharp blade now beginning to tease your wet skin, pain would eventually destroy reality. Slowly sliding the tip of his dagger into your desperate body, soft moaning cries became music to his ears. In love to the point of madness, Cutthroat took careful time to not split any veins. You had to last as long as he could drag it out, and where the time between life and death could have been your chance, you simply missed it from a presumed lustful dance.

Now how selfish was it of him to watch your blood splutter like paint across the porcelain white? How much more fair was the way he watched his own fingers smear it like thin syrup into a print with the wall behind you? The surface of bath water unbalanced, crimson rocked within it, back and forth to its sides.

#Maybe I should write something sad happening to Cutthroat where he in some way is looking for comfort #I feel like I box Courier into one end where I like to see him in pain and then Cutthroat on the other where I like to see him cause pain #I also just feel like Courier in general would be more...in tune with his emotions despite really preferring to keep them locked away #that's what makes it so fun hurting him...#Cutthroat on the otherhand... he may be hurt but he's so... like...#Well for example if someone cheated on Courier it would probably break him silently #if someone cheated on cutthroat he wouldn't care...he might be upset for the moment but it doesn't break him long term #i think the urge he gets to need to be near the person he likes is so overwhelming he wouldn't leave either #give or take he'd probably murder them before they could even think to cheat..?#idk the point is I'm looking to write a pain that lasts. something that lingers long after the event has occurred #someone with a halo ending their life before Cutthroat can feels like maybe it would have a lasting effect on him #which is why I wanna write that...but I over post about Cutthroat #which reminds me I have more general hcs for him and some of the others #I'm rambling so badly rn I might as well just keep going—#y'all wanna know what I ate for breakfast too?#what about my life story?#{hysteria nsfw}#cw gore #cw noncon #tw gore #tw noncon

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frenziedslashers · 3 years

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Hello, I hope you’re having an amazing day/night! If you don’t mind and it doesn’t make you too uncomfortable. How do you think the slashers would react to the reader wanting kids/being pregnant? It can be a fem reader or a MtF idm. I just have really bad baby fever rn and love your work 🧡🧡

Hey I love this!! (Also they corrected themselves and put FtM!! I just deleted the other ask before screenshotting it >-<)

Slashers Reacting to Reader Wanting Kids Or Being Pregnant:

Thomas Hewitt:

Wanting Kids: I stongly believe this man has a breeding kink out the wazoo. He's seen his family member with kids and just LOVES them. He would be so excited if you expressed an interest in them! He would want to get to work ASAP! And if you express the interest while in bed? Well damn, don't expect just one round that night, he's going until he's sure you're stuffed full of him and he's certain you'll be carrying his kid.

Getting you Pregnant: Now, I am assuming you mean the slasher impregnating reader, so that's what I'm going off- but he'd be so excited! Oh my gosh he would be so happy and telling Luda right away if it's alright by you! Expect him to be extra protective with you though. The last thing he needs is you getting hurt, let alone his little baby growing in you. So he'd be papmpering you a lot more than usual. And when you start showing? Ugh, this man is going to be a MESS. Gonna go absolutely feral when he sees your stomach and breasts growing. Expect a bunch of praise from him. Because your body is definitely his temple by this point.

Bubba Sawyer:

Wanting Kids: Like Tommy, this man has a breeding kink out the wazoo. He wants so badly to have kids of his own, and when you come around he's sure that he can act out those wants. He doesn't bring it up, but you can tell by how fatherly he can be with certain animals or just the way he acts when kids get involved with victims. When you express an interest in kids he's literally so happy. He's a babbling mess and trying to tell you how much he loves you and how much he wants nothing more than kids with you, but he's just so excited he can't form anything other than a bunch of rambles. He definitely gets to work right away, he can't wait.

Getting you Pregnant: The moment he finds out you're pregnant he's on his knees holding you. His face pressed against your stomach crying with you. He's so thrilled, that he sort of forgets that he needs to be the strong one. Not the one crying because he's going to be a father soon. Not only that but he tells all of his family, this won't be a secret even if you asked him to keep it a secret. He may have some days where you have to hold him and remind him how good of a father he'll be though. He worries a lot, and he has his moments. Just be there for him and everything will be alright, though.

OG Michael Myers:

Wanting Kids: He'd tilt his head when you express your want for kids. He's kind of the wrong guy to be telling this. He thinks you should have thought about this before you got with him, because he's too posessive to let you go, but he also doesn't really have an interest in kids.. He doesn't mind cumming in you though, it gives him a sense that he owns you. Leaving his seed in you, marking you up from the inside so everyone knows you're his and only his.

Getting you Pregnant: If you get pregnant he won't be sure how to react. Expecially when your hormones kick in. He might even get a bit annoyed with it, hating all of the situation... Until you start showing. Then his curiosity peaks, and he finds a fascination with your body as you go through the stages. The way your stomach grows, your breasts swelling. Your random cravings, your peaks of horniness... It all strikes his interest and he finds himself enjoying the pregnancy, but not so much the thought of having a kid of his own? If that makes sense? When the baby is finally born he's internally freaking out, though he denies it with a stoic face when you ask. But you can see the panic in his eyes. You've been with him long enough to know when he's lying. When you finally get him to hold the baby though, and see the way his face softens as he looks down at it. He thinks maybe this won't be so bad. That maybe.. He has another reason to keep fighting. Another person to keep safe under his care. Though, he may distance himself from you and the baby at first before he truly gets used to the little person.

RZ Michael Myers:

Wanting Kids: Ever since his little sister Boo was born he'd had an interest in kids. They were so cute and fun, plus his little sister was amazing, and grew up to be amazing. Even if she didn't take a liking to him too well- But you actually want kids with him? When you first bring it up he glares. Thinking you're messing with him. Some sick joke to see his reaction, but when he realizes that you aren't kidding he's thinking long and hard on it. Give him some time, it'll take him some time to think it over! You only brought it up once. But it'll be on his mind constantly, and I moment he decides pumping a baby in you wouldn't be so bad. Then he's making sure it'll happen.

Lester Sinclair:

Getting you Pregnant: he's not too verbal, but he's more physical than OG Michael. Also EXTREMELY protective. This man will be watching like a hawk, and he will be doing his best to take care of you. Especially when you start showing. He's gonna be a bit touchy, too. He's just curious, and if you let him feel when the baby starts kicking? Oh bboy, he's gonna be smiling like an idiot behind his hair. Biting it back so he didn't look as excited as he really was. He might even hold him hand on your stomach while you sleep. Just to feel the little thumps and kicks, pretending like he wasn't just smiling at the feeling like a fool when you wake up and catch him. He was just being protective, that's it.

Wanting kids: this man is very nervous around kids. Sure, they're cute 'n' all, but he's never been too into the thought of having any of his own. But when you bring it up he feels his heart swell with love. "A kid.. With li'l' ol' me?" When you say yes he's smiling and red, he even feels his eyes slightly water up. He's never felt more happy. He'd happily give you kids, you may have to remind him how good of a father he'll be, but he can't say no to you.

Bo Sinclair:

When you're pregnant: He'll probably end up shouting out of pure joy or cry. There's no in between. He might even do both. He's just so happy and he can't help himself! The love of his life is having his baby! Oh, but then he get nervous. What if the kid hates him? What if he's a bad dad? What if something happens? You'll have to reassure this sweet man that he'll be an amazing father and you know it, because lets be honest. He would be. When you're getting close to having the kid Lester spends more time at home with you. Too afraid of leaving you at home by yourself. Jonesy would be by your side always too, and Lester would love the sight. His best friend next to you. And he definitely kisses and talks to your tummy all the time. Got make sure that baby knows its daddy loves em <3

Wanting kids: He's gonna say no at first. Kids are a hassle in his eyes and he hates to thought of becoming a ffather. Last thing he needs is to find out He's just as bad of a father as his own was. So he'll say no for a long while. Then some people come through town with a little kid a he swears his heart stops when he sees you interact with the kid. Maybe kids aren't too bad of an idea...

Vincent Sinclair:

You pregnant: this man is experiencing more emotions than you are right now. He's happy, thrilled even, but he is so scared. So fearful his kid will hate him or that the two of you will get hurt, or even that the towns too dangerous for a little kid to be living in. But with his brothers and more specifically your reassurance. He's finally thinking this is the best idea you've ever had. He really wants a little boy. To show how to shoot guns and work on trucks. To pass on his legacy, but if he gets a girl??? Oh, he's gonna be so happy. He would love her more than life itself. And if you have twins??? He's simply passing away.

Wanting kids: He would hate the idea for a while. It would take some convincing but after a while he would cave in. Especially when he starts thinking long and hard about you with a baby in your arms. Raising a kid with you couldn't be that bad.

When you're Pregnant: He'd be.. very hesitant to be around you for a while. I mean, he's already really insecure and when you get Pregnant he's internally freaking oout. When you coax him into being around you he'll calm down and do everything he can to be there for you. He'd definitely do his best to keep you away from tourists. Last thing he needs is a rogue tourists hurting you or his baby. When the babies born he's going to be so frightened. It'll take a lot to get him to touch the baby, but when he does he doesn't wanna let go. Until it starts crying, then he might freak out a little. He's definitely gonna baby the shit out of the kid. And the kids' uncles sure as hell will too.

#house of wax #slasher x reader #thomas hewitt #bo sinclair #lester sinclair #vincent sinclair #bo sinclair x reader #lester sinclair x reader #vincent sinclair x reader #thomas hewitt x reader #bubba sawyer #bubba sawyer x reader #rz michael myers x reader #rz michael myers #og michael myers #og Michael myers x reader #michael myers x reader

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thisdreamplace · 3 years

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Hi, what would you (or a general person) think/feel/act like if they were happily employed with a major paycheck?

I'm asking coz i feel blockage when I try to imagine living in the state of this manifestation. Fears of being incompetent at interviews and unable to answer questions properly or rambling crop up when I try to even imagine having that amazing job

Worse, I mean not worse, coz ik circumstances shouldn't matter, thing is idk idek the specifics of the ideal company or ideal job post of my desire

Ik I want eg:

an exorbitant salary (financial independence), even tho I fear I won't be able to negotiate at all (I'm not exactly a bargainer)

a role of responsibility where i can learn from the higher ups while inspiring those below, with a level of autonomy

Work that's not tedious or repetitive

So on and so forth

Even tho I don't have much job xp (again, Im prolly invalidating myself here, coz the fact is, I've come to realise even if I win a Nobel Prize, I'll keep feeling I haven't done 'enough'), I do have amazing, hard-as-hell-to-get qualifications (and again... I feel I'm not enough like wth whyyy? ;_; I've met so many people who've got half of these qualifications yet they're more confident and can actually flaunt that while I feel, not like an imposter, but ig worthless when compared)

The worst is Ive always freaking felt it in my bones I'm worthy of a higher role than my current self can achieve (by current self I'm referring to the fact that I do have issues eg nightmare interviews in the past hovering over me, beliefs of being incompetent or unqualified or being unable to answer difficult questions (since I was a child, I've been told, disparagingly alas, that I'm only 'book smart' and could only ace studies by 'rote learning', which is untrue. In fact thanks to that, I actually developed a memory issue whereby I'm unable to memorize stuff easily (btw one of my secrets to academic success has been understanding concepts, mind mapping it all mentally, having a solid grip over foundations etc. Ok I digressed) anyhow, I really do feel unprepared to answer questions (in fact one of my fears is being asked an intrusive question (like hey, why are you eg so pimply? (Btw I'm not, this is just an example) in front of everyone and being at the center of attention in that way 😱) so yeah, I hope you can sense the myriad of beliefs holding me back (and sometimes I feel nauseated to even think of 'facing' these beliefs or fears. Like, it's as I wrote to u rn that I realised I fear looking incompetent, except this case is so severe coz I feel like it's worthless if it's not done perfectly (or as near perfect))

So how do I manifest here? Hell, my mind starts hurting if I assert: okay, let's at least prepare, no, at least LOOK at a job interview question

Ik the Law says I can assume anything and that'll work. So how do I assume I'm, y'know, a confident gal who does not have the aforementioned state of mind? Or how do I defuse the root issues linked to childhood/past stuff? Or better yet, what state should I focus on assuming/taking on? I have no idea how to start. And thanks to analysis paralysis (it took me years to acknowledge this even) I'll end up prolly doing nothing then another month will pass by with me doing nothing and then I'll type another frenzied ask

PS: yep, Im aware of the self concept topic, but I hope u can shed some light on this specific matter at hand, kinda customized?

😰

So to begin with, scratch everything and literally focus on your self-esteem and your concept of self. No, you don't need a good self esteem to manifest, but I'm really passed pretending like it should be optional. Every one of us deserves to feel good about ourselves, for ourselves. And you're holding yourself back so much by not allowing yourself to feel good about who you are. I mean, you list how accomplished you are and yet it's still not good enough for you?

It's confusing because if you felt in your bones you were worthy of something better, how can you sit there and but yourself down so easily? Your reality is giving you what you actually feel worthy of. And it's not what you desire.

You're the only one holding yourself in this story. You know the law says everything is happening now, meaning all desired experiences and versions of yourself are available to you now. You tap into them by using your imagination and dwelling there. So, stop sticking yourself to this story that doesn't help you. You feel unprepared because you keep saying so. You keep replaying this memory of things going badly, when in reality there's not even a past. You're the one keeping it alive by being so consumed by it and thinking it's so real. But see, the past only exists in your mind. It doesn't exist elsewhere. And just like with everything else in our mind, we have the power to decide what is and is not so.

Plus, the comparison game has got to come to an end. Everyone is you pushed out anyway. A win for one person, is a win for all. Who are you comparing yourself to, besides a reflection in the mirror? There's no point. The more you let go of the old way of thinking and allow yourself to remember more and more who you truly are, the easier it'll be to let go of wanting to compare yourself all the time. It's literally your reality. It's your world and everyone else is just living in it. Seriously. You're literally at the center of your world. You're at the heart of it all, there is no one else but self.

Self concept isn't something to push to the side. I notice a lot of people know about it and then go, "ehh but what else is there?" Like, I did the same thing. And that's why my journey was full of detours when I could have just went straight to my destination.

How do you do this? Well, you do have some idea of who you want to be. I mean, I'm guessing you want to be the opposite of every undesirable trait/experience you mentioned? So therefore, (if you want to write it down, please do), you need to decide the mindset you want to focus on manifesting within yourself. Let the outer world be for a bit, it's time to focus on you and only you. Here's an article that gives an example of how to get clear on the version of you that you want to embody.

And then once you get clear on that, really, the only task you have is to wake up everyday and thrive to focus on keeping that mindset. Sure you might slip up, sure some days you may not do well keeping it at all, but it doesn't matter. You keep persisting and it gets easier and becomes your new normal.

You see, I like how Dylan James says manifesting is not a trying process because it makes sense. For example, you didn't try to end up with the experiences you have surrounding career right now. However, you manifested it due to your concept of self. Change your conception of self and without trying, that perfect career you desire will find you. It can be that simple. But we have to allow it to be. Plus, you really only need to focus on yourself. You don't need to have a list that consists of your must-haves in a job, or anything. (Unless you truly like to make lists like that.) Because the truth is, our desires are from God. Therefore, we never need to worry about telling our Godself what we want. Our Godself already knows. So if you are unclear, you can trust you'll be lead exactly where you want to go. Being specific or being general makes no difference and it's okay to approach manifesting with either one. You'll always come out successful no matter what. But the change begins within. There is no one to change but self.

Hopefully this is helpful! You got this! 💖

#career

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rival-ado · 5 years

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owo I'm curious. But like could order like all the pmd and why you like/dislike each one?

AHHHHHH !!!!! okay hope ur ready for a lot of rambling this might be one of my favorite asks ever fjlsjfJTKFJ

1.) pmd2 !! this is my favorite by far and my first pmd game , specifically explorers of sky !!!!

the story is SO good , the characters are really good and interesting and memorable , theres a lot to do main game AND post game , not to mention special episodes [ theyre ALL so good but i give my life to special episode 5 . ive replayed it so many times ] !!! i could go on forever ahfjsjkfkg . the only negative things i can rlly think about rn are fixed in the later games [ moving in dungeons can be slow and depending on ur type a lot of dungeons can be hell + teammates can be a nuisance rather than helpful ] but !! a rlly big plus is you can make your own missions thru a generator online and get literally any item you want , its super helpful [ reviver seeds are super important to have ] !! i havent replayed it in a while so i might have more to say later but i really could write papers about this game i love it so much alfjskfk

2.) psmd !! the most recent pmd game , and my second favorite !!!

this game has every pokemon gen 1-7 and every single one has a different mission AND theyre all connected to each other . you can get missions from characters from previous games [ grovyle + celebi mission ; __ ; ] . i recommend playing this game last tho if you plan on playing them all !! the story is pretty good and has some rlly good twists , theres post game but not a ton [ unless u want to do every mission ] , you can befriend and play as any pkmn you want which is rlly cool !!! also theres a pushing mechanic which is not only super helpful but rlly funny to me [ shoves an entire line of teammates out of harms way ] . for the negatives ... the characters are interesting but i dont remember them as well , i wish there was more character development . i dont hate the final boss but ... its kinda a reused concept from pmd3 which i wasnt fully a fan of in the first place [ spoilers ? the final boss isnt a pkmn , its just negativity ] . they bring back apples which isnt rlly bad but i sure didnt miss them . leveling up is HELL . i rlly dislike the fact that you have to buy saves for dungeons though , no quicksaves if you have to do something all of a sudden , no saves at rest stops mid dungeon . you gotta buy em and bring em along , im pretty sure its only this game that does it but i hope they dont keep it . nevertheless its a solid pmd game !!!

3.) pmd3 !! gates to infinity !!! i gotta be honest im barely putting this above red/blue rescue team but i WILL bc despite its very big flaws it also has a lot of ups !!

okay this game along with everything gen 5 gets a lot of hate and i can sure see why with this one but i still think its rlly good !!! im actually gonna start with the negatives on this one to get em out of the way but . paradise building does not interest me . no stacking missions [ you cant do more than one at a time ] , the rewards are just supplies that go towards building paradise , the final boss doesnt rlly interest me [ again spoilers same as psmd: its not a pkmn ] , and it just has so many differences from the usual pmd formula and i cant promise that theyre all ..... positive . plus the VERY limited choices for hero and partner [ i wont complain much bc i wouldve chosen the given pkmn over other starters anyways but . no quiz , only 5 pkmn compared to other games 15+ ? oof ] A..... ANYWAYS now that thats over . POSITIVES ..... i rlly like the characters ! the main ones and even the villains have a little development !! [ dunsparse emolga hydreigon ILY ] the story itself is good ; im not a fan of concepts that appear for one game and are never even mentioned later but the entercards [ ? ] are interesting and the frozen chasm recorder thing may have made me want to cry . i dont want to specifically spoil anything but this game can be a little brutal at times too ? leaving friends behind , being chased down by the villains , being split up from your friends , not gonna say the exact scenes bc of spoils but when things get rlly bad and how desperate the hero and partner can get when theyre trying to protect each other ..... [ cries ] . while some mechanics of the game arent my favorite , the story is good and can make u damn emotional .......

4.) pmd !! red/blue rescue team !!! i cant even call this my least favorite bc i have no real least favorites when it comes to this series but i just like the others a little better ahkfjsjfkc

im a little more biased bc this is the last game of the series i played even tho its the original . BUT i still have so many good things to say about it and i would probably recommend this first ? i dont remember there being a lot of characters compared to the other games but they sure leave an impression on you . i also like how the partner is kinda sassy and like , they just met you but would literally do anything for you and believe in you even when you dont believe in yourself . every pmd game has good twists but i RLLY like the one they pulled here . also you spend a good amount of the game being on the run from people you trusted literally trying to kill you which is fucked up but i really like how they played the story . i didnt even play it that long ago but writing this makes me want to play it again smfjkskfj ... the main negatives i can think about are all stuff fixed in future games again [ and you can also do the same make your own mission generator and get items to make the game easier ] . a lot of the bosses are the same type / resistant to the same type so depending on your hero / partner it could go rlly smoothly or rlly badly [ to anyone choosing grass type pkmn . godspeed ] . i think this might be the shortest pmd game and it might be hard bc its the first , but if youre looking to rlly get into the series id go with this one first . if you just want to test the waters id go with pmd2 !!

T.... TYSM FOR THE ASK and these are all opinions of course and its just my thoughts but if you got all the way down here . ily

#I AM ... SO SORRY FOR THE WALL OF TEXT AHFKSJFJ #ill try to put it in a readmore whenever i get to my computer agsin .#i really do have a lot to say about this series .... i just love it sm ; ___ ;#rosepowdr #long post #ado.txt

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