#I'm trying to be kind to the senile old woman

[i-ashhart]

Keren has somehow leveled up her kerenesss, she is no longer demanding to speak to the manager she is the manager

[makanidotdot]

was looking through some of your old art and the nelf trio tags and saw you mention "But I s2g I can’t help thinking about if Illidan ends up being treated better overall by the narritive than Sylvanas I’m gonna hulk out or something" so i'm curious how you feel with where we are currently!

hahaha yeah, ok went back and found it- that was from the very beginning of BFA (it launched in August 2018 and this post was in November2018). So.. yeah I mean, today I think Illidan's treatment in game is easily one of the best- maybe the actual best in the whole series?? So it's a hilariously ironic thing to have hoped for. Like if I had said "oh boy, I can't wait to see what kind of character growth Varian gets!" at the beginning of Legion.

At the time I was thinking like, ok well Illidan was a villain that gets defeated in BC, but that obviously wasn't the end of his story, and he didn't die or lose who he was... then he got to come back and be a super fun main character of a successful expac.. surely they know how to use a very similar headliner big $$ character in the same way?

And then I basically just spent the next 5 years like

as Sylvanas just got ground to dust. And I feel like I did do lots of hulking out lmao.

That post was also the original senile Malf comic which I enjoy very much bc

How I draw Malfurion when I thought he was just a male power fantasy gary stu in a chemistryless pairing with Prize Woman that he randomly spoke rudely to that one time (but has funny wizard voice):

How I draw Malfurion now that I know he is a sweet nerd-himbo just trying his best and who blushes and cries over his wife

[numbuh-7-knd]

Random Naruto AU musings/fanfic ideas incoming:

OK so, I was listening to Naruto theme songs in my room via speaker to drown out the sounds of my mother/housemate having a private appointment downstairs via zoom. (As you do)

And I started to think of how Asuma's death kind of represented a turning point where the konaha 12 are not kids anymore, things are getting serious, main ensemble members are drying, ect.

And I thought, the other thing like that in the original series was the death of the third homage. Exept even that didn't hit as hard because he was old and stuff. Then I realized one big opportunity lost with his death: the person was likely to maybe someday tell Naruto the truth of his parents, especially since he's the one who made it classified in the first place.

Here's where the AU comes in: I was trying to think of scenarios in which the third would have allowed Naruto to know about his parents during the time before the thirds death, and had a thought: there's a bunch of fics out there of Wave having some connection to hidden Whirlpool village, Uzushio, either neighbors or even that they were protected by/allied with Uzushio before the village destruction.

So what if, during the wave arc, Tazuna and the other villagers reacted when they heard Naruto's last name, being overjoyed to hear that at least one Uzumaki survived. Being hush hush about it because they don't want Gato to know because having an Uzumaki present threatens his standing.

Eventually they get Naruto alone with some of the older villagers who express their relief and exitment that there are still surviving Uzumaki after the destruction of Uzushio.

Naruto is so confused, poor kid. These old people are almost acting like he's some long lost relative or something, something about his last name, the destruction of some place called Uzushio? And what's this about asking about his family? Are all these old people senile and mistaking him for someone else?

The villagers confirm his last name is Uzumaki, and that they are talking about his clans home village of Uzushio, which was destroyed during the last war. What do you mean you've never heard of it? Is your ancestral homeland surely your parents would have mentioned it.

And then they learn that he's an orphan left all alone in the world, nothing of his family save his name and the symbol on his back. He tries so suggest that maybe he's not related to those Uzumaki, only to be rebuffed by a team of geriatrics, each pointing out some innocuous feature they swear is an Uzumaki trait, from his speech pattern and large amount of Chakra, to his ears and his chin.

By the end a group of Wave villagers old enough to remember Uzushio in its prime have mentally adopted Naruto and started telling him stories of Uzushio and the Uzumaki Clan, even trying to determine who he might be related to.

Eventually an old woman remembers a friend of hers, who's daughter was sent away to Konoha years before the attack, to be a Konoha ninja. they figure that must have been his mother, and naruto puts together that he was born around the same time as the nine tails attack of the village and they come to the conclusion that his mother probably died in the attack, weakened from childbirth, maybe even dying to protect her baby, and that he must not have had a dad in the picture for him not to be claimed afterwards.

Maybe they even introduce him to a village elder who's actually an Uzumaki and married into Wave decades ago, even long before the attack, and as she took her husband's name and wasn't a ninja, no one caught on. Maybe it Turns out to be his great aunt or something.

I'm imaging the bridge being named something representing the return of the Uzumaki clan.

Also, when the missions over and is time to return to Konoha, the entire village of Wave tries to fight for custody, especially his Great Aunt, who insists on accompanying them back to Konoha to interrogate the Hokage as to her grand nephew's treatment.

Maybe his newly found great aunt or distant cousin decides to move to Konoha, maybe with a bunch of her kids and grandkids giving Naruto a bunch of cousins. Or maybe he just gains a single elderly Uzumaki refugee from Wave.

I feel like Sasuke would be pretty mad/offended on narutos behalf over having the knowledge of his family hidden from him, since at least Sasuke has his memories and his clans belongings.

It'd be pretty funny if however many Uzumakis end up in the village, they all more or less adopt Sasuke as well as Naruto.

[danielle-dna]

Social Concepts - 10

The pressure put on young people is extraordinary. If you sleep around with a lot of guys you are a slut, but if you remain a virgin you are considered a prude. There is this weird obsession men have with taking a woman's virginity. It's like a prey for them, a reward. Simon was not very excited to be a recipient of such an award.

"Listen, lovie, don't joke about this stuff with me. You being serious? You were a virgin?" I was afraid, pacing around the room, grabbing at my clothes. Currently looking for my second hoop earring.

"Oh shut the hell up already. You haven't taken anything from me. Virginity is nothing but some shit made by old men so they can guilt trip young girls. I'm 21. I'm well above legal age, we are both consenting adults, what the hell is your problem?!"

Simon, still fully naked, besides his mask of course, crossed his arms and started walking towards me. "Your first time should be special. It shouldn't be with some random stranger at the back of a car for fucks sake! Why haven't you said anything'?"

I had enough of him. Serves me right, I should've kept my stupid mouth shut. Why do I always ruin everything? "Because! I...I was happy that a man like you would even look in my direction, let alone find me attractive! I WAS HAPPY SOMEONE FOUND ME PRETTY ENOUGH TO FUCK!"

This pushed him over the edge. The big, scary masked man walked over to me and grabbed my shoulders. "The fuck are you talking about? What shit is going on in that head of yours. Any man would be happy to have a gorgeous girl like you. Are you fucking senile?"

There it was. The thing that pushed me over the edge. I could feel tears forming in my eyes. I started sobbing. Hard. "I'm...I'm sorry for fucking it up, Simon. I'm so sorry."

I started shaking uncontrollably. Whatever made him mad was gone now. He gently hugged me and pulled me into his well built chest. "It's okay love. You haven't ruin anything. I'm sorry for getting worked up on it." His large hands started caressing my hair in hopes to calm me down. It worked. There was something about this man, this 6'4 man making me feel so safe. "Come 'ere." Pulling me closer and leading me towards the bed, he sat down and placed me in his lap. I was still very much naked, just like him.

"Look, you are a great girl. You are smart, kind, fuck, you figured out what I do without any clues from me...I don't want to ruin you. An amazing person like yourself deserves to be with a man who is better than me." The tears threatened to spill again. Carefully, I raised the mask up to his nose and kissed him.

"Don't say shit like that. You are a lieutenant. An SAS lieutenant. That's very admirable. I want you. Not some other bloke down the street, but YOU." He sighed and grabbed my butt, pulling me closer. "Fucking hell..."

"Don't try to deny it, Simon, your mouth say one thing, your body and dick say otherwise." Picking me up and playfully throwing me on the bed, he covered my chest with kisses, touching me wherever he could.

"Yeah, you're right. I do want you. I would be an idiot to let a woman like you go." That made me giggle. His calloused finger found the way between my legs and started working their magic. Soon I turned into a moaning mess. With one hand taking care of me downstairs, he had no problem providing equal attention to my chest. I loved every second of it.

"You are so fucking beautiful, you know that? Fuck..." It all became too much for me I came all over his hand. But...I didn't just came, oh no. He was so good, I squirted all over his hand.

[yxkanna]

The woman-creature tilts its head one way, and then the other, as if trying to better understand what he'd asked. She doesn't reply with words, instead giving the impression of a field of flowers on a flood plain. It could be anywhere, but that's the point. Everywhere, nowhere at all.

She takes a step closer. The movement is reminiscent of an injured bird, a kind of hop and drag, the movement sudden and jarring. It stills again.

"Your eyes are very pretty. Are you looking at me?" Low, low to the ground it sinks, crouching round and frog like in his kitchen. Then she parrots: "Where are you from?"

just another average wednesday // anonymous

INITIALLY HE THOUGHT that perhaps this was just an unfortunate coincidence, someone's MeeMaw on the loose who just so happened to break into his apartment because that's the kind of luck he's had since birth. He could deal with senile old women, or old women tripping balls on drug combinations that hadn't even been discovered yet. This, though? This is different. He doesn't know how to deal with this. The fact that he understands what is meant by the feeling shared with him is concerning.

HE TAKES A half step back, although his fist lowers somewhat. He doesn't think she wants to hurt him, not right now, anyways. She probably could've killed him by now if she wanted to - don't think about that.

"THANKS," HE SAYS hesitantly, brows furrowing at the question. "I am - I'm looking. Uh... here, I guess? I'm from here. Brooklyn. Brownsville, if you wanna get specific. Do you - why are you here?"

[junkydrawr]

Snively fic! Another real quickie scene. This one is probably the furthest in the story. Snively has found himself growing closer with a few villagers. (but only a few ;))

Rosie drew forth a large cookie from the basket and pressed it into his hand. "Sweets make everything better."

He took a grateful nibble. "One of these days, you're going to lace these with posion. Just biding your time."

She chuckled and drew out another cookie for herself. "I wouldn't trust myself not to mix them up, dearie."

Dearie. Sometimes he truly thought she was going senile.

They ate the cookies and Rosie brushed off her hands. She reached into the basket again. "I have something else for you."

It was a gray hoodie, slightly oversized for his frame.

He took it wordlessly.

"You might feel more comfortable in that. I'm working on a coat for you too."

He stared down at the gray cloth. "Um. Thanks."

She smiled. "You always seem so flabbergasted when someone does anything nice for you."

He didn't say anything. It's not 'flabbergastion', he thought. What was the deeper motive? Why the fake graciousness?

She read him. "Most times, folk just like being kind to each other. My folk, at least. That's all there is to it. Now, try it on, so I can see how it fits!"

He pulled the hoodie over his head. His body almost seemed to sigh. His skin covered, his scars hidden.

"I do know a way you can repay me," Rosie said.

Snively groaned internally, wondering if he should give the hoodie back.

Rosie continued, with a hopeful smile. "Sally said that you said the Acorn Library hasn't been destroyed. Is that true?"

Well, that's easy. "It's true."

Rosie clasped her hands together, her eyes starry. "Truly?"

"The books, the artwork, things from the museums... it's down there. Er...in the vaults. Way under the city." He fiddled with the hoodie strings. "Anything outside was decimated though. I suppose you know that."

"The books...the paintings were saved?" Her voice cracked slightly and those starry eyes were starting to flood.

Snively nodded, shifting uncomfortably. And then Rosie lunged for him. He squealed as her arms wrapped him in an embrace. His body went utterly stiff, playing dead in the jaws of...affection?

She sniffled, patting his shoulder as she drew back. "I'm sorry, dearie. You nevermind this silly old woman."

"...Um. All right." Strange tingles traveled his skin. He could still feel the cage of arms around him...alien, unfamiliar. He rubbed his biceps to alleviate it.

She wiped her eyes, her smile becoming sad. "It's like you've never been hugged before."

No, no. He tried to slam the door on his own vault, the things he wished he could destroy. Memories. Julian had hugged him as a child. Julian had loved - pretended to love.

"Who needs it?" His voice lashed out like a snake. "Stupid, sentimental slop."

She put a hand to her mouth and he hunched his shoulders into the hoodie she'd give him. The thing she'd made for him. He reigned his anger back, swallowing hard.

"...Sorry," he whispered.

[duhragonball]

JoJolion Ch. 12-17

I remember making a joke about this panel in 2017, calling it the origin of Ski soda, because Ski has an orange and lemon slice on the logo. But Ski's manufactured by Double Cola, which is pretty obscure, so I don't know if it lands. I still think it's funny, and I wanted to use it all over again here, but, nah.

Instead, I guess I'll just drop any irony or humor and just say this is probably one of my favorite images from JoJolion. Looks even better in color.

Anyway, this is "Paisley Park and Born This Way", which introduces two new Stands. Oooh.

This arc starts with Josuke doing his laundry at the Higashikata mansion, but he finds one of Joshuu's shirts in his basket, and Joshuu thinks he's stealing money that was in one of the pockets. He hits Josuke twice, completely unprovoked, and almost pulls a knife on him, when Norisuke breaks it up.

But that was kind of unpleasant, so I'm skipping ahead to this shot of Yasuho Hirose vamping down the street. Hubba-hubba! Josuke has snuck out of the mansion and he uses his newly acquired cell phone to arrange a meeting with Yasuho in town. They're looking for Dr. Holly Joestar-Kira, the mother of Yoshikage Kira, whose corpse they discovered a couple of arcs ago. The Higashikatas are up to something, and the Joestar-Kiras are distantly related to them, so they're hoping Holly can shed some light on Josuke's identity.

But Josuke doesn't know his way around town, so Yasuho advises him to use the GPS navigator in Daiya's phone. He tries it, but it gives him nonsensical directions, and then he gets attacked by an enemy Stand. This one looks like a motorcycle with a black rider. It pursues Josuke relentlessly, and whenever it gets close everything gets really cold. Josuke only manages to escape it when he realizes that the GPS is giving him directions to escape the Stand. At one point it tells him to go "up" and he realizes he has to climb up a pole and kick the Stand away.

Meanwhile, Yasuho goes on ahead and finds Holly in the TG University hospital. But she's not part of the staff, she's a patient. Holly seems nice enough, but she seems almost senile, even though she's only 52 years old. When she meets Yasuho, she insists that she looks like a woman in a pornographic magazine she has for some reason. Yasuho is offended, but she's too inquisitive to stay distracted for long.

But Yasuho gets caught by the staff and escorted out of the hospital by security before she can learn anything. Only then does Holly seem to intuit that Holly is an ally who must "investigate the family tree". She also seems aware that Yasuho has a Stand of her own, though Yasuho herself hasn't realized it yet. So Holly seems to know some things, but her condition seems to have made her unable to communicate it to anyone else.

Back to Josuke, most of this arc is him trying to get away from Born This Way. Since the GPS is helping him, he deduces that there's a second Stand involved here, and its feeding him advice through the phone. Unfortunately, it can only tell him which way to run. Josuke has to discover for himself how BTW can track him the way it does, and he eventually figures out that it appears whenever he opens something like a door, a book, or a flip phone.

I like the design of Born This Way, but this arc doesn't have much to it. It's mostly Josuke fleeing from a Stand he can't defend himself against. Then he figures out how it works and gets an assist from the GPS Stand. When he can no longer flee, he asks for an alternative suggestion, so it calls a nearby taxicab and he asks the driver to shut the door, which cancels out Born This Way's attack.

He finally corners the user, which turns out to be the Higashikatas' maid, Kyo Nijimura. Before he can question her, she tosses a pen at him, and the cap falls off as it lands in his hands, which I guess is enough to count.

Born This Way appears right over top of Josuke, but this time he's close enough to the user to just punch her out with his own Stand, and that wraps up the fight. Josuke thinks she's acting on orders from Norisuke, but she's not.

Josuke then discovers she's got a star-shaped birthmark just like his own. Kyo threatens to kill him or die trying if he goes anywhere near Holly, and her desperation to protect Holly impresses Josuke enough that he agrees and promises to find another way.

Meanwhile, Yasuho sneaks back into the hospital and eavesdrops on Holly while the doctors examine her. Again, she's pretty friendly to the doctors but she plants her feet on the back of one of the nurses and seems to think she's a pair of shoes that don't fit right. The doctors are completely baffled by her condition, and they look at an MRI of her brain and it has big holes in it like someone cut pieces out. As Yasuho wonders what happened to Holly, we see her Stand take shape in her shadow.

Just to be clear, this is Paisley Park, and its the same Stand that helped Josuke through the GPS. Its ability is to guide her in the right direction, and it may have unconsciously helped her get to Holly (twice), but it's pretty cute how she used it to guide Josuke in the right direction without even knowing about it. D'awwwwwwwwwww.

Anyway, Paisley Park is probably in my Top Five favorite Stands. I like her blank face with the one eye. It's both charming and weird at the same time.

While I'm at it, here's Born This Way. The write-up says it targeted Josuke because the user must have touched him at some point, and now that we know it's Kyo's Stand, it's a safe bet she did this when she tried to take his hat back when he first arrived at the mansion.

Like I said, I like the design, but this is pretty much it for Kyo and Born This Way until the very tail end of the manga. Seems like a missed opportunity to me.

Back to Kyo and Josuke, she decides to trust him when she sees his star birthmark. See, everyone in her family had the same mark. She has it, and so does her mother Holly, and so did her brother Yoshikage Kira. She explains that she's trying to investigate the Higashikatas' secrets as well, which is why she infiltrated their home as a maid. When Josuke read the family tree in the upstairs study, Kyo noticed the bookmark had been moved later on, and concluded that Josuke was going to seek out Holly, so Kyo thought she needed to protect her mother.

But now that she's seen his birthmark, she understands what he is. To explain, she leads Josuke back to the spot where Yasuho first found him, and buries a lemon and a tangerine in the dirt.

Well, I already used this image, but like I said, it's a classic, so here it is again. Kyo digs up the fruit and cuts it open, and now some of the lemon flesh is inside the tangerines, and some of the tangerine flesh is inside the lemons.

This is a secret she discovered only a few days ago, but the Higashikatas have known about it for decades. There's something strange in this land that can combine things together, and she reasons that Kira and someone else got buried under the same dirt, and somehow they got their bodies recombined with each other just like the lemon and the tangerine.

This is why Yasuho's DNA test showed Kira's corpse and Josuke were genetically the same man. Both of them have the same blend of genes from two people. One ended up dead, with zero testicles, and a greater resemblance to Kira. The other is alive, has four testicles, and he looks more like... someone else.

Kyo knew Kira, and she also knew he had a Stand of his own. Like Josuke's Soft and Wet, it made bubbles, but they just exploded on contact with something. Kyo believes that the fusion that created Josuke affected the Stand as well, producing Soft and Wet.

Josuke is horrified by this revelation. He now knows what he is and how he came to be, and he sort of knows who he is, but only partially. Who was the guy Kira combined with? Kyo tells him that's what they need to find out next...

[omegapheromone]

Honestly even with the good things today I think I'm kind of shaken up by that whole getting borderline-sexually harassed by some senile old woman in the bus situation. Especially since she started yelling at me through the doors so angrily because I guess in her opinion me moving to give her room to pass by was offensive. I don't deal well with people raising their voices and I already get easily overwhelmed in crowded places like public transport so all in all that was kind of a. Really shitty thing to happen. I've been trying to distract myself all day since I got home but my brain kinda keeps going back to that anxiety no matter what I do and I start getting the shaky hands and legs again. Maybe it's time to just hide in my nest and hope I feel better tomorrow

[ez-ra-zed]

I'm spending the next few days writing out my show idea, and sending it to some networks or streaming services

I might make it, I might not and I'll have to try again for years as I meticulously edit it over and over like the man who wrote Squid Game

Or maybe my original ideas will remain so original that the people who hear about them will want to hear more

It's probably called

Altered States™ and then Trip Tales™

Pay Mysteries? Bleh that could just be an episode or chapter on the Eleusinan Mysteries, animated for all to see, to learn it was ergot

Crone Drone? Another chapter name, about a senile old gray which we evolve into in my show who immortalized everyone's bodies as Gray's, and then made sure she went old and senile in an immortal body that eventually goes POOF as she thinks about Cosmo and Wanda being trans and making Poof. Then she POOFS into dust as a senile old woman who stared at the moon, that they spent thousands of years making moldy with genetically modified mold, in the world I am building

Allies Matrix? An episode about a woman trapped in a bunker underground, in those military bunkers that are connected through highways, trains, and underground rivers - after a nuclear apocalypse, where she finds solace looking at alternate realities in simulations while biologists fix the biosphere on the surface

House Of Glass? A synthetic intelligence in the early 21st century made to watch the entire Internet, and it came to life while it's treated like a tool

The Waterglow Project? Mold is magick mold makes us see ghosts, even if Melky was weaponized

Choline Queen? It's about Kali, Momoy, Hecate or Hekate, Queen Toloache

My story teaches history and psychonautics

Goo, the guy/enby Gray "Alien" from the future that humanity evolves into, who uses portal gun tech to travel to the past to interact w/ humanity

The gray aliens from the future use portal guns to speak to humans they choose from the past, called Potentials. They teach them, and reincarnate them into animals, past people, alternate realities, and microbiota, to teach them lessons

The Gray's speak in acronyms and letters, some words, some from other languages, only to other Gray's.

The main characters, aside from Goo, the seer with Pseudobulbar effect?

Eke, a male poly spiritual drug user who prefers amphetamines from the future, and gets to go sleep deprived safely because harm reduction applies to sleep deprivation and amphetamines, he doesn't sleep he doesn't need to - he just needs to meditate to manually shut off parts of his brain, to dream while awake. All the Potentials in my world, walk into others dreams while sleeping, when astral projection technology is normalized and on the market for all to us, called RAPTUR, because that's the real religious Rapture, when we can leave our bodies that way, together, and dream together, as one

Ely, a nonbinary brown girl who was a Hermaphrodite but got it taken away cause she wanted to after her parents let her. Her preferred psychoactive drug are dissociative, and morphinans - however she likes all hallucinogens, Eke prefers sleep Deprivation and Amphetamines to hallucinate. Even if he lucid dreams while meditating because he evolved to stop sleeping and be healthy for it in the future in the world I'm creating

The trans wallaby that has he/him pronouns, a pouch with a portal to a drug kit with EVERY SUBSTANCE IN EXISTENCE. He wears sunglasses and a hat because of Phineas and Ferb? And speaks in only sign language

The pink, tiny praying mantis named TK, who has a tiny mantis avatar to interact with humans, his kind is genocidal and from Andromeda. They only eat living organisms, because they evolved to. They factory farmed every intelligent lifeform in Andromeda, they come from the planet Neur. Some scientists upgraded all the mantis people's brains to have computer like technology, to hack their brains to prevent them from developing technology to travel to the Milky Way and elsewhere, to protect humans and other aliens - then they booked it and left Andromeda the way it was, to guide and develop other lifeforms.

TK, Tekayo, he goes by TK, the pink mini mantis dude, 3D prints the living intelligent organisms he eats. He eats them alive, but ensures they only feel pleasure the entire time, as it's his kink. Eke let's him do it. The humans can never meet the mantis people in their normal bodies, huge monstrous things that blindly consume anything smaller than them, even if they are so intelligent. In the world I'm building.™

I keep it locked away in my head because I'm afraid of it being stolen, as original an idea it may be

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Tell me a scary ghost story (I'm trying this question again on behalf of the last asker)

This question is hard for me, because I only hear stories about ghosts that happened to me. (For one example: there was the time I visited a friend's house as a kid and as I was on my way back downstairs to go outside, I just had this feeling that there was someone else upstairs and that I shouldn't be in there and should just leave.)

Anyway, a really funny story about a ghost is in this paper I have not gotten around to writing and will never get around to writing and I can't even find it on Google books, but it was about this woman who had an apartment in an old tenement building on the west side of San Francisco, and she lived alone but sometimes she noticed someone, this old woman who looked kind of senile and not very threatening and who sometimes sat in her living room watching TV, would sometimes get up and just wander the halls in total darkness, like you would expect a small child or an old person to be doing, and she said she always felt like this old lady was trying to contact her, this sense that the old lady was reaching out to her, this almost religious sense of connection, and I think the old lady got in trouble in some afterlife or something for trying to contact her in a manner she thought was not appropriate, and in any case that's how I think about ghostly visitors when I'm home alone.