#I've actually gained so much weight since December it's really bad

[chickenisamazing]

This is the first time I've gained weight during Ramadan

[brightgnosis]

I estimate that I've probably gained about 10 to 15 pounds or so since starting on the Metoclopramide for the Gastroparesis.

I don't actually have a scale, though, and won't wind up weighing myself until December at my next in person appointment for my Urine Analysis for the Lyrica. So this is entirely guesstimation based on how much harder it's becoming to reach around and navigate my own body since starting it.

I'm pretty sure that's my minimum- which is such great news if it's true like I think it is!

I sat steady at 165 for 3 years out of that when we got me stabilized, and that was great because it meant I was stable and I was no longer at significant risk anymore; I'd figured out how to navigate around my illness more than anything while we figured out what was wrong- which was honestly really good while we figured out the Fibro.

And ... I mean ... No, it's not great I'm reaching towards 200 again. For my body, that's bad. But it is a really great sign that my body is actually fully processing food and getting nutrition again for the first time in 7 years; I'm no longer navigating around my condition in a tip-toe fashion..

Well, ok. There's still some navigation of course. It's gastroparesis, after all. I have to be careful still (and Mushrooms have proven to still be an enemy, sadly). But I'm actually eating again safely and in full again. I can enjoy food without really worrying about what's safe, what's going to digest, how close it is to bed time, if I'm going to have to nap or walk afterwards, what the last time I drank a liquid is, etc.

It's amazing. After 7 years, inching towards 200 and actually putting on weight again feels like a blessed miracle.

🕯️“ Blessed Adonai, you who formed the first body with many channels and flows ... As I behold myself, I praise my existence before you; it is known that if I cease caring for my body- or if I block my breath and authentic movement, it would be impossible to rise before the wonder of existence. I praise this body and its wonders, Adonai ... I am here, and present, taking in all things. For blessed are you, the Holy One who heals all flesh and performs such complex wonders. „🕯️

This account is run by a Dual Faith «(Converting) Masorti Jew + Traditional NeoWiccan» & «Ancestral Folk Magic Practitioner» with 20+ years of experience as a practicing Pagan and Witch. If that bothers you, don't interact.

[whimsyswastry]

2021: A Year of Fic Review

Thank you so much for the tag and including me @radio-chatter <3

Total Number Of Completed Works: I actually haven't posted any of them on AO3 yet, but I managed to finish 4 one-shots. Two mReyder, one fShenko, and one Mevecon <3

Total Word Count: 17,587 (WHAT??? How is that possible!? I feel like I didn't write anything this year. Seeing the actual number is almost unbelievable). And that number is not counting the rewrite of the Unharrowed (I'm on Chapter 4 of 14).

Fandoms I’ve Written In: Mass Effect: OT, Mass Effect: Andromeda, Greedfall, Dragon Age, and Thronebreaker.

Looking Back, Did You Write More Fic Than You Thought You Would This Year, Less, Or About What You’d Expected? I wrote a little less than last year (19k) but I wasn't expecting the numbers to be that close. I've been struggling with writers block and the energy to put what's in my head on the page.

What’s Your Own Favorite Story Of The Year? Probably "Thronebreaker" because I played it last December and it injected me with the desire to write again. I may never finish it, but it'll always hold a special spot in my heart.

Did You Take Any Writing Risks This Year? I've written two NSFW pieces. I'm a strict fade-to-black person, so my NSFW is pretty tame. But it still fits within the category!

Do You Have Any Fanfic Or Profic Goals For The New Year? I want to get back to my 200 words each weekday/1k a week. That was the speed I was writing earlier in the year and I just got away from it, didn't even open some of my pieces for months at a time. I don't like that rain-cloud feeling.

Most Popular Story Of The Year? So 'The Offer' is a Dorian/Trevelyan one-shot I wrote a couple years ago and it seems to have gained some unexpected traction especially for a one-shot that was posted with a back-date.

Story Of Mine Most Under-Appreciated By The Universe, In My Opinion: A DA2 "Mark of the Assassin" retelling, which happens immediately after Fenris leaves Hawke. The first two chapters are posted as part of Fictober 2018, which I think is why it has like..zero kudos. Once I string them all together and make a true fic out of it, it'll probably get a better audience.

Most Fun Story To Write: Definitely the Thronebreaker NSFW scene. It was my first, but I saw a piece of art that was so breathtaking I had to try and recreate it narratively.

Most Unintentionally Telling Story: lmfao anything with Cullen. Not really the story lines, but how Cullen is written is very much based one someone close to me.

Biggest Disappointment: My energy levels are definitely the biggest disappointment. Re-reading things I haven't read in months or a year or two and I'm like "this isn't so bad, why'd I stop" and then remembering that I stopped because whenever I open up a document I just feel this crushing weight of expectation that I can't handle right now. I miss writing the way I used to write, carefree and obsessively haha

Biggest Surprise: Finding 4thewords.com while I'm not a big fan of having to write in a browser, its gamified format allows me to let go and just write.

My Favorite Part Of Fandom This Year: I haven't participated much in fandom this year. I tend to just do my own thing and occasionally will make a friend along the way.

I'd love to see what all my other writing friends have to say about their year. It's been a while since we've connected (due in large part to my quitting Tumblr for like 9 months), but if you'd like to participate, please tag me! || @flamehairedsiren @midnightprelude @pigeontheoneandonly @ma-serannas-vhenan

[its-tay-sti]

So, hi! I guess I'm really doing this.

I started off this year self-loathing, right? Feeling bad for myself while also in a blissful state of ignorance of how truly unhealthy I was. I believe I started this year off around 285lbs, but I didn't have a scale to have this be an accurate official starting weight, so I'll go with my highest of 298lbs. I'm 4'11". I was delusional to think I was any sort of healthy or even okay at that weight because at my current weight (which I will weigh in after my period has passed for an accurate number), I'm not healthy. I started fasting at first and that's how I lost a majority of my weight starting from May 13th 2019 up until September 21st. I have since stopped fasting (IF) and have focused on CICO exclusively while taking in more whole foods and eating much better than I was in February. For reference, my meals were all take out. Burgers and fries and tacos and king sized candy bars were my staples. Now my meals are usually vegetarian or pescatarian and are made at home. I have the blessing of having no car and now living back at home with my parents and they do not live near a restaurant for 2.5 miles. My home life was bad and I was in a toxic relationship and I'll save this for another time. Right now it's me time.

So, in short, I've really been on my game this year bc I'm unironically woke to my own reality now since I was just under the impression I was chunky and not actually morbidly obese. I've got a size 13 bridesmaid dress to fit into by next September and I'm seriously ready to be out of the 200's for the last time in my life. Feel free to lurk and engage alike. I'm not a meanie and also I really enjoy uplifting others if you're needing someone to encourage and support you. Here are some before and after collages I've made. Please be gentle with criticism bc I'm actually really hesitant on posting these. The dates of the comparisons:

Face gains: top is December 16 2019, bottom is August 19 2019

Frontal: blue shirt is March 16 2019, black top is November 5 2019

Back view: white shirt is September 29 2019, black shirt is December 2 2019

Anyways, I'm looking forward to actually keeping myself accountable for the first time.