#I've said it before and I'll say it again: the black and white filter was made for måneskin to use

[maneskin-dimensione]

Thomas via his instagram stories; 09.05.23

[pullingheavendown]

I've been trying to process some bullshit my friends said on holiday but it touches on so much discourse-esque bullshit that I practically don't want to, when it's really not that black and white to me.

They would casually bring up The Most Triggering Topic as a punchline to their jokes, basically. And I'd switch every time. Like a car crash in my head, blurry vision for half a second, forget the conversation, have to reorient in half a second, and then be stuck there trying not to howl and freak out until I could excuse myself from the room. I'd be shaking with so much rage and adrenaline, and just coursing with sadness. That it's just a concept to them; a joke; that these are people who know my history and helped save me from it, who still couldn't gauge that like... Just because I don't care if people engage with those topics in fiction or whatever doesn't mean I'm okay to hear that shit out loud, as a punchline, as anything other than so fucking painful my brain has to reboot.

The first time I spent hours in my room in the airbnb trying to stop hyperventilating and telling the triggered parts that we were safe. The second I had to leave the restaurant and cool off outside. The third, I was shaking with so much rage and despair that it took me half an hour before I could go back in.

I don't care what you read, or write, or fantasize about. I mute things online. I filter. I protect myself and manage my own triggers to the best of my ability. I can't do that around people who just open their mouth and say shit to my face.

I met my therapist in person for the first time mid-trip. All we talked about was those first two incidents and how I wanted to go nuclear and explode on them, I get so angry that I wanted to dissolve the friendships on the spot. And he was similarly surprised anyone who knows me would do that around me, and helped me feel like considerably more in control and less like I'm the problem.

And then they did it again.

I can't confront people when I'm that angry without exploding so I leave the situation but that also means I'm not at a place yet where I can have a discussion about that shit and establish boundaries. I'm learning. But.

I just never want to be in a room full of people I trust who will make me feel that way again. I don't know what that means other than avoiding them when I don't want to. Because they're great people outside of the "brain rot" (their words). I love them. I appreciate them. I know when they're talking about those topics, they're talking fiction and blorbos and their experience of those topics is so far from connected to reality that it's apples and oranges. They're not discussing actual shit. But MY triggered-ass brain can't maintain that distinction.

It just sucks that an entire trip was me being forced to switch and practically overdose on benzos because they can't shut the fuck up about their nonsense for more than 12 hours at a time. I guess.

But at least I don't feel like the problem in all of this. I'm doing the best I can. I didn't take it out on anyone. I handled what I could. If we ever get together again, I'll talk to them about it and if they have an issue, I'm not going.

Just... wish it had been otherwise. Wish I weren't this reactive.

Wish a lot of things.

[jesseevelann]

Sometimes I wonder... is being a Shinobi worth it?

Is it truly worth this pain and suffering?

My Sensei doesn't even care, he focuses on Naruto and Sasuke. I am nothing to him... I'm nothing to them.

Mother urges me to resign, but father doesn't want to see me at home anymore than he already does. Going to training and missions is the only time I can breathe, but every breath is sharp and painful.

I am of no use to the team, I've almost gotten everyone killed too many times. It's best for me to quit, but if I do I'll be found dead in a river.

Naruto even struggles to handle me, he doesn't want me either. Sasuke in particular, he hates me. I really should quit.

I'm going back to the lab after today's training, I'll ask for a resignation form then. Surely Lord Third would have enough mercy on me for that.

"I just don't understand, Sasuke! How can she be so... so irritating?!"

"Shut your trap, loser, she's right there!"

"I don't care!! She almost got us killed... again!"

Waiting for Kakashi. Naruto's angry again. Rightfully so, all he speaks is truth. I'm a terrible Shinobi.

"Sakura..? What's up with you, you're zoning out?"

Kakashi's voice. Mere soundwaves, I don't understand what he's saying. He's talking to me, but not in words. I'm fixated on the forest beyond the chainlink fence.

There's something out there, locking eyes with me. I can't see it, but it can see me. Kakashi's still talking, snapping his fingers in front of my eyes.

I only see beyond the fence.

It's not a creature, or a person, but rather a feeling. It goes out of the village... maybe I should just leave instead? Is that the answer?

"Sakura!"

I snapped out of it. Kakashi looked frustrated, as well as Sasuke and Naruto.

"I'm going home."

I turned to leave, Kakashi grabbed my shoulder. His grip was tight, and on top of a fresh wound. I bit my tongue, praying that it didn't reopen.

He started to scold me.

He yelled at me.

He said I was good-for-nothing like my parents.

My parents...

Them.

My lungs started to burn, and my veins felt hot. It was taking over, I needed to get out of there.

Pushed by my rage, I threw his hand off of my arm, grabbing my bag and storming off; running when he started to follow me.

Just like your parents.

Just like your parents...

Just... like... your parents...

The burn seeped through to my skin, and smoke poured from my wounds. I managed to lose Kakashi Sensei before he could see.

I hid in an arrangement of trees, falling to the ground and biting my lip. Smoke filtering through my gritted teeth.

My nails grew longer, and sharper, digging into the stiff dirt. My skin burned more and more, turning a charcoal black. My vision blurred, everything turned white.

I was no longer human.

[inessencedevided]

(You can find the set that this gif belongs to here 💙)

From planning to posting, share your process for making creative content!

To continue supporting content makers, this tag game is meant to show the entire process of making creative content: this can be for any creation.

RULES: When your work is tagged, show the process of its creation from planning to posting, then tag 5 people with a specific link to one of their creative works you’d like to see the process of. Use the tag #showyourprocess so we can find yours

I was tagged by @aheartfullofjolllly. thank you so much Pat! it was really fun to reflect about my own process 💗 You can find her post here and @lan-xichens' post that started it all here :)

Also thank you @huigusu 🥰 (who tagged me for my nie brothers set) I'll get to that one in a few days!

Now Pat gave me two sets to chose from to show my process, so obviously I chose the more complicated one :P

I only work in Photoshop CC 2018. I know that there are programs out there for easier cutting and sharpening but I have only just figured out how to do that in PS and I am too lazy to figure out any other programs right now xD

1. Idea and Planning

This set, like most of my sets with lyrics started with me reading the poem, clutching my heart and going "oh shit this fits my favourite characters!!". The idea actually started with me thinking that the first stanza of the poem would go really well with wwx during the burial mounds arc. Then I realized that the last stanza fits lwj better than him and from there came the idea to contrast the both of them next to each other. This is when I realized I wanted to do a dark-light contrast set, though I did not know that I would go with red and blue at that time. My idea in the beginning was just to do a black and white set

I was really impressed by how Pat said that she plans her sets around exact timestamps. Because I don't do that at all ^^ I just get ideas for which scenes would fit (in this case the wwx burial mounds scenes and lwj's kneeling and punishments scene) and then I watch the scenes to narrow them down.

Back when I made this set, I still used a screenrecorder (AceThinker Screen Grabber Pro to be precise. They have a test version that allows you to record up to 3 minutes) and recorded the scenes I needed from Netflix. This worked well enough but now I have the entire show saved on an external drive and it makes a world of difference when it comes to gif sharpness

Now, in this case I had to repeat this step once because when I was almost finished, I realized that I wanted a gif for the lwj corner but let's pretend I didn't do that and that's the way this gif was always going to look because otherwise this post will be way too long ^^

2. Creation

Short disclaimer: The creation process for this gifset was anything but linear. Multiple effects I used here were things I had never tried before. I just had a vague idea and tried to realize it through trial and error. So whenever I say "then I did xyz", it is implied that I ultimately went back to that step several times and changed stuff ^^

I started with the Wei Wuxian part of the gif. I usually use a frame rate of 0,06 (with some variation depending on gif length and size). I work in timeline so I converted all the layers to a smart layer. Then I resized the gif into a square, leaving big chunks of the gif empty (as can be seen below.) I flipped the gif horizontally, so he is looking inwards. This was simple because I felt it fitted the composition better. Then I imported the Lan Wangji part of the gif, again with a frame rate of 0,06. (Image 2)

After that I created a layer for masking in a separate PS document by rotating a square until it was point down (is that a rhombus?). I sized it to match my gif (540x540 pxl) and copied it over. (Image 3) a bit of masking magic and ta da! There's the basic layout (Image 4)

I put a layer of solid black behind wwx to get rid of the transparent bits (Image 5) and then started adding more white and black to both sides by adding solid whit and black layers that i put masks on and changed the opacity as i needed (Image 6)

("reading" direction: from the upper left to the lower right corner)

Then I fiddled with the colours a bit. The first thing I always do is using the curves layer to get more contrast. Then I use the colour balance tool and the selective colouring tool to get rid of that cql-typical cyan tint after that it's just trying to have it look "natural" while the colours still fit the overall scheme. This was difficult here because wei Wuxian’s side of the gif was very dark and when i turned up the saturation to see which colour dominated it was a very weird mixture of multiple colours. That's when i decided that I'd just go with red on his side, since lwj's side was already so blue and those to look great as contrasts.

After that just came a lot of fiddling with selective colour layers and brightness and contrast unti I has happy. There really wasn't much to it ^^. (Image 1)

After that I added the text. I knew I wanted the two lines to for a square of some kind. So I tried different fonds until I arrived at the one below. The two lines are in seperate layers so I could move them around and change the spacing between the letters until I was happy with the layout. I also changed the layer mode for the text to "difference" (is that what it's called in english? my PS is set to german sorry ^^), keeping their colour white. (Image 2)

I originally hadn't planned adding anything else but I felt like the gifs (plural because I switched between the gifs of this set) was still kind of empty and lacking, so I added the tear down the middle (a tutorial for that is either coming up later or already posted. I recently got an ask for this :)) (Image 3)

It still felt empty after that, so I tried different overlays. Okay no, first I wasted a lot of time on different free image sides but then I tried out different ones until I chose the one you can see in the finished gif. I liked that one because a) I felt the round shape was a nice contrast to all the straight lines already there and b) because once I applied a black and white filter to it and switched the layer setting to "difference" (again, i hope this is the correct translation) it looked a bit like a moon. (Gif at the top)

("reading" direction: from left to right)

And that's it! :)

Although in general, these gifs took so much fiddling! I went back and forth between them a lot and sometimes almost redid the entire thing because I had no idea what I was doing in the beginning and by the time I noticed an error, the only way to fix it was ti redo everything. So yeah, this set definitely is the the one that took me the longest out of all the ones I've posted so far.

3. Posting

I save all my gifs to my drafts first to see what they look like put together and to check if they look any different on mobile. Usually i do this several times and change stuff until I'm happd enough with it to hit post. Once i am happy enough, i can't hold back. Doesn't matter if it's at a time when nobody is online, i hit post 😅

And that's it!

Tagging:

@lanwuxiann for this gifset (I adore it so much. I've looked at it and read it severat times since you posted it and the poem just kills me every time!)

@suibianjie for this gifset (The combination of static images and gifs in your gifs is always absolutely perfect! This one is only my favourite of yours because the light coming from behind wwx is just so pretty!!! ^^)

@sweetlittlevampire for this piece (It was soooo hard to pick a piece of yours because I have so many favourites! But this one is just so out if this world, I want to know how you worked that magic :D)

@wei-gege for this set (sparkling shijie! 😭 that set is so incredibly beautiful! I love how you matched the colour of the overlay with her dress!)

@purplexedhuman for this set (your gifs are always incredible! I chise this one because it showcases both your colouring skills and some really intricate effects)

If any of you have already been tagged or don't have the time or energy for this, obviously no pressure to do this at all! 🥰

(btw, I originally tried to place the actual text of this under a "read more" cut but somehow it always messed with the order of the images, so this ended up as a rather long post. sorry!)

[cherry-gemz]

The City by The Bay: Part II

Summary: Fates push you and a handsome and known stranger into each other's paths. His chilvary and good looks make you take a leap into his world and more.

Chapter Summary: You and Keanu get to know each other better.

Word Count: 2100 +/-

Pairing: Keanu Reeves x Y/N (F!Reader)

Rating: PG, fluff

A/N: First time taking a try on a Keanu fic, be nice, please! This little ficlet will have more chapters, hope you enjoy.

Who might be interested: @whiskeyslullabye​ @marissat1998 @aestheticallywinchester​ @fookingbitch​

Last chapter recap:

"Yeah...just around the corner. Did you...did you want to hang out for a bit? I mean, I didn't know if you were headed somewhere before I spilled your drink. What am I thinking? Of course you were off somewhere…"

"Are you always like this?" You giggle as you turn to head to the hall. 

"Like what?" 

"Nevermind, I'll be right back," you reply coyly. "And...I didn't have any plans today...I'd love to hang out."

"Really? Cool," Keanu responds and a grin appears on his face. 

"Yeah, I can't stay very long, however. I have a meeting with a client for lunch," you reply and he looks deflated. 

"Yeah, okay...well..hmmm," he says lost in thought. 

You feel stupid, you can't believe he wants to hang out with you and you're choosing work. You're really kicking yourself for even mentioning it. This opportunity will never happen again. 

"Well, I tell you what," he pipes. "I still owe you a cup of coffee. I happen to make the most amazing cappuccino. How about I start off with that?"

"Sure, that sounds lovely," you smile and his expression changes in a light-heartedness. 

"Great. Great, Y/N, head over to the kitchen after you change your shirt and we can get to know one another better."

You beam and head to the immaculate restroom. It’s very contemporary and the natural light from the ceiling windows are pretty to look at. As you unbutton your blouse you look at yourself in the mirror: you have a goofy grin and you can’t believe in you’re in Keanu’s house. Let alone, changing your shirt and going to hang out with him a bit. This is all surreal. 

You grasp his shirt and give it a sniff, clean. And you quickly put it over your head and leave the room with your blouse and book in your hand. As you turn the corner, you see him fiddling about and admire the open floor planned kitchen. You run your hand across the white, granite counters as he ushers you to have a seat at one of the barstools where you place your bag, the book he offered, and blouse down.

He claps his hands and rubs them as a cheshire cat grin appears on his face. 

"Okay, be ready to be blown away at these magic hands," he waggles his brows and holds out his large hands as you stifle a giggle. 

You'd watch interviews of him and he always seemed so genuine, and while he still does, there's a more childlike, goofiness that melts your heart a little more. You try not fall so quickly, but he really is quite loveable and easy to be around. Much different from the men you're accustomed to in the city. Their grittiness and quick paced talk tends to exhaust you. You're more in your element with one on one, in an intimate setting like today. It's ideal. 

Keanu grins and turns steadfast to the counter by the fridge and beelines to the espresso machine. He grabs a new bottle of water from the upper cabinets and places it in the boiler of the machine. You sit taller and try to peer over. You're never really that fancy with your coffee and it's usually due to the nature of your work and how quickly you need that caffeine fix, but you appreciate the art and look forward to his recipe. 

He continues his task at hand and opens a canister that's unmarked and pours two shots of ground espresso into the portafilter. He turns to you, to make sure you're watching as he plays along as if he's a magician and you're watching his act. 

"Secret recipe," he beams.

"What is it?" You ask inquisitively. 

He holds up his index finger and shakes it, "Na uh. If I gave that away, we could no longer be friends."

"Oh, we're friends are we?" You flirt and he blushes. You got him to blush!

He holds out the tamper he pulled out of the side drawer and presses the coffee three times to ensure it's packed tightly. 

He then places the portafilter into the espresso machine's group head and locks it in place by turning it to the right.

He continues his stride and places the tiny, white cup under the head for about 30 seconds. 

"Voilá!" He exclaims and you clap. He grabs a carton of cream from the fridge and you give him a puzzling look. Even as a chef, you're quite aware of the complexities of cream, so you're curious if this is part of the plan. He pours the cream into a small metal pitcher and inserts the steam wand. 

"Ah! Almost forgot…" he smacks his forehead with his free hand and goes to the cupboard and pulls out a jar. You notice it's sugar and he pinches a good handful in the metal pitcher and continues.

As the milk foams, he starts to pour it atop the cappuccino and walks over to give you the cup. 

"Mmmm, smells amazing. Thank you," you graciously accept the cup and take a sip. An explosion of the dark, roasted bean excited your taste buds. It's most likely hands down the best you've had. 

"Omigosh, Keanu. This is beyond good. I don't think I can ever go back to normal coffee again!" 

"Aw shucks, you'll give me a complex now," he teases. 

"Well if you ever decide to quit acting, I say you'd make a hell of a living doing that. Why, my bookstore would have lines out the door to see Keanu Reeves make them a cappuccino!"

He laughs heartily, "That would be a sight wouldn't it? Ah that's fantastic." 

You bring the cup to your nose as you try to make out the ingredients. You can tell there's a hint of spice and earth, and you take a guess of what he has mixed with the grounds. 

"Is there cocoa powder?" You look directly at him and he bites his lip.

"What are you doing?" He asks and shakes his index finger at you playfully and walks over to you. 

"Trying to figure out this recipe. You don't go tell a chef that it's a secret and expect them to not figure it out. I saw you toss in some sugar for the cream. And even noticed you use cream instead of milk. But I think it's cocoa...maybe even a hint of cinnamon?"

"What are you? Some super chef-dectective?" 

He dabs the frothy cream from your cup and places it on the tip of your nose, making you giggle. He licks his finger off and gives a sly smile.

"Maybe I have a profitable future ahead of me?" You lightly rub off the cream and gaze into his eyes.

"I think so Y/N, I think so." He shyly turns his eyes away and taps the side of the cup as if he's pondering a thought.

"So tell me," you gain confidence in speaking with him. "If you can make such a delicious cappuccino like this one, why were you at Saint Frank's?"

"Hah," he replies as he turns to start his own cup. "Flattery will get you everywhere."

You smile in-between another sip and notice he's flirting back.

"Well?" 

You prod and arch your brow as he leans his back against the counter. His black  shirt hugs his biceps as he crosses his arms, and the blue jeans he pairs it with fit him perfectly. His medium length hair seems to always get in his face, but it's endearing and he swipes away some strands. He's handsome without any effort and you slightly blush as your mind wanders about how his lips would feel against yours. 

"Honestly, I went out for a ride and needed to clear my head. I found myself just being pulled in that general direction and decided I needed a cup of joe," he says as he pours the cream for himself. 

"I guess it was you pulling me in or something,” he adds.

"So then what, it's like fate that we happened to be at the same place at that exact moment? And you happened to bump into me and make me spill my drink, therefore resulting in me jumping on your motorcycle with you. And then visit the home of a mega movie star and try the most fantastic cappuccino?" You laugh and he tilts his head earnestly. 

"What, you don't believe in fate, Y/N?"

"Not exactly," you reply. 

"Why not?" He walks over and sits next to you on the other barstool. 

"I mean, if it wasn't me, it'd be some other woman you'd be inviting over instead."

"No…" he replies as he takes a sip of his drink. "No, I don't think I would."

You both sit in silence for a minute, you sigh and then turn to look outside at the view. 

"I'm sorry, Y/N if I've seen to offend you. I can drive you back if you'd wish…" his voice softens and you can tell you hurt him a little. 

"What? No, Keanu. I'm...I'm sorry," you place your hand on his. His knuckles are worn and rough. He looks down at your hand and a small smile appears. 

"I...I want to be here, really I do. I guess I'm trying to make sense of it all. You're Keanu Reeves. And I'm just me. Why do you want to know me for?"

“Why wouldn’t I want to get to know you, Y/N? I am very glad we met. You're funny and kind... I'd like to get to know you further. Let alone, you're beautiful."

You blush and look away, he's not coming on strong, but could he be sending you signals that he's into you? Did you die and just find yourself in limbo with the angel before you?

"Do you want to go for a drive before I take you back?" He asks as you both notice you haven't lifted your hand on his. You quickly remove it and place it in your lap. 

"Sure, but this time please wear a helmet. I was worried sick thinking if something terrible might happen." 

He softly chuckles, "Of course, I have many in my garage to choose from. Curious though, is it because you care about me, Y/N?"

"Oh believe me, more than you know," you quickly cover your hands over your mouth as you realize what you've said. 

He kicks his lips and tries to brush it off. 

"I'm sorry," you apologize. "I really should use my filter from time to time."

"No need for apologies. Your truthfulness is refreshing."

"Well I have a lot of that. Probably more than I should. I bet you find in your line of work it's difficult to find people you can trust."

"Yeah, I definitely have a close knit of friends through the years. Do you have family here?"

"Yes, born and reared in the Bay," you say with confidence. "I went to culinary school in New York for a minute, however. But there's something about this city that's magical."

"So you believe in magic, but not fate?"

You laugh, "Okay, you got me there."

He finishes off his cappuccino and motions to ask if you're finished, which you nod and hand him your cup. He walks over to the sink and rinses out the cups. It's fascinating to watch him do mundane things like wash dishes. 

"I am beginning to enjoy the city. There is much richness to it and the landmarks are beautiful. I will be honest though, I haven't had much time to explore like I usually like to do when I'm on location." 

He places the cups back in the cupboard and dries his hands with a cream colored terry cloth. 

"You did mention you had a project up here. Mind if I ask what?"

His eyes light up as if he were a kid on Christmas Day expecting all the joys of the morning. 

"Oh well it's not for a movie. I'm not filming yet...least as far as I know. My agent, Meredith keeps me up on that."

"If not a movie, then…?"

"A book," he replies. 

"You're not giving me much here, buddy," you laugh as he joins you. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I...it's just something dear to me that I've been working on and haven't really announced anything yet."

"Look, I get it. Don't worry, no pressure, you reply as you start to get up.

"Well it's not that," he gestures a stopping signal with his hand. "I... I really don't know what it's about it. I'm collaborating with a friend of mine, a photographer. And we are in the early stages, that's all."

"Oh well it sounds great," you say enthusiastically. 

"Yeah...I feel good y'know? I feel like I'm doing something different and that I can connect to people on a different level."

"Keanu...the influencer," you say as you raise your hands up in the air as if an imaginary marquee is right before your eyes. 

"Haha, I wouldn't go that far. But, I'll have to keep you posted." 

"Yeah, that would be great," you cringe. Great. Everything is great. Why are you being such a spaz?

He doesn't notice, but he gets quiet again and you don't know what to do next. Silence sometimes makes you feel awkward and now throw in the ridiculously nice and dreamy man in front of you and you're a ball of nerves.

He seems relaxed, however. In tune with himself and surroundings. 

He smiles and holds out his hand, "C'mon. Let's get going on that ride. I'll take you to one of my favorite spots in the house besides the library...the garage. Oh, and don't forget your book."

You nod as you place it in your bag and accept his hand and hope to never let go.

[l000ey]

the queen and the jester → r.d

pairing; song mino x rae dara (ft. dong youngbae and mentions of lee chaerin, park bom, min hyorin and kwon jiyong)

summary; Red needs to forget everything and Mino wants to helps her

warning; bad language

note; yes, they fucked but Mino is not the only one Red has had sex with after her breakup with GD.....

2014

People smiled and laughed happily as they talked to their friends or acquaintances while Red was sitting there with a glass of the strongest alcohol she could have found in the bar of the huge hotel where they were celebrating the end of the year party. She sighed and turned to see her best friend when she felt that he was sitting next to she.

"Are you gonna stay like that all night?" The girl shrugged at the question. Taeyang sighed as he looked for Chaerin but she was very busy dancing with Hyorin and Bom, he made a face that showed his displeasure when he saw his leader dancing with that girl he had brought to the party.

He looked at the brunette only to realize that she was also looking at Jiyong and that model devouring in the middle of the dance floor. Dara sighed and drank another swallow from her glass. "I think I'll go home."

"But there is only one hour left for it to be New Year" With his right hand he gave a slight squeeze on her leg, trying to give her encouragement but she ignored it by going back to drink another drink "D, stay. Do not give him the satisfaction of seeing you wrong. "

"I think he's already satisfied enough." She pointed out how the girl intertwined her fingers in the rapper's hair and bit his lips. She let out a bitter laugh and stood up, alarming Youngbae.

"Uh, uh, where are you going?" He got up too when he saw her staggering, helped her sit down again.

"I need a cigarette, maybe two or three." She opened her purse and pulled out a packet of tobacco next to a cigarette lighter. The white-haired man sighed again before snatching the bag, earning a complaint from the best "Yah, give me that."

"No" He said curtly.

"Youngbae, please. I need to get out of here, I want to go home.” She wrapped her arms around his waist and hid her face in his stomach, the singer growled looking for someone to help him with the twenty three years old baby. The only one who seemed to be in his five senses was the rapper of the group of boys who had debuted about a year ago, what was his name? Oh, yes, Mino.

"You" He pointed to the boy, who was sitting at a few tables beyond. The dark haired man frowned and pointed, Youngbae nodded "Come here."

"Yes, hyung?" Mino waved at him but Taeyang stopped him.

"I need your help, have you drunk?" The boy denied and he smiled "Perfect! Well, you're going to help Red get home. "

"Ah, I'm not so drunk." Red, who was watching them still sitting in her place, frowned annoyed. "I do not need a babysitter, Youngbae."

"Oh, believe me you need it." He handed the bag to the young man and helped his friend get up while she complained nonstop. Mino frowned without understanding anything, his sunbae looked sad and did not understand the reasons why she could be but nevertheless remained silent. The older one looked at him. "Help her get home and then come back if you want. If you do, I'll talk to the CEO to give you a solo album. "

Red rolled her eyes at the exaggerations of her best friend, snatched the bag from her hoobae and picked up a cigar ready to be smoked. She looked at the dark haired man "Are we going?"

"Eh, yes." He nodded quickly receiving her bag again and started to walk to get to it but his hyung's hand on his arm stopped him.

"Take care of her. She's not anybody, you know?” He nodded and started running toward the girl who had stopped at the door as soon as she realized he was not following her.

Both walked in silence through the hotel corridors until they reached the elevator. Red sighed as soon as Mino hit the button that would take them down.

“Mino”.

"Yes?" He turned quickly to see if she needed anything. He inspected her with his eyes, curious about his senior, but everything seemed fine with her, so he waited for her to speak.

"Can we go somewhere other than my house, please? I do not want to be there, I need fresh air.” She did not look at it for a second as she spoke, her eyes were lost on the floor of the elevator.

"But Taeyang hyung said that ..."

"I know what your hyung said, but I want to breathe and if you're going to be my babysitter at least does that for me." Her green eyes finally settled on him and all he could do was nod. He was afraid to screw everything and have her thrown him out of the agency. He approached the panel and pressed the button on the sixth floor making the girl look at him confused. "What are you doing?"

"I rented a room because I thought about drinking until I forgot my name so we can go there. You can smoke, there is a terrace. "He explained before leaving the wall and standing in front of the doors.

"Wow, I did not even think about asking for a room. Very clever, Song” The boy smiled at the words of the eldest and offered his hand to help her out of the elevator. They walked hand in hand to the room where Mino had to let her go to open the door. He let her pass first in a gentlemanly act. Red smiled to see the room, it was beautiful "You can go back to the party if you want, I will smoke a while and then I will go to my house. Do not miss the fun because of me. "

Mino laughed leaving the bag on one of the bedside tables after closing the door "It was not a fun party. It was pretty boring, I would say. I'll stay and when you want to leave I'll take you home. I promised hyung that I would take care of you."

"Well, thanks." She smiled at him, running the curtains so she could have access to the terrace. She turned around and looked at him still smiling. "And stop talking to me in a formal way, we've known each other for many years, I think we're close enough to talk to me like that."

He followed her to the terrace. "You're older than me and everyone knows you do not like honorific so I had to be respectful in some way." He watched her take off her heels and throw them away from her. He laughed thinking about how cute she was doing that pout looked when he saw the wonderful views of the Seoul night that the room had.

"Thank you for bringing me here." She looked at him, ignoring the fact that she had caught him looking at her and smiled at him and then looked again at the illuminated city. "It's just what I needed."

He followed her example and sat in the other chair. "I'm glad I was helpful."

Silence filtered again between the two, the only thing you could hear was the cigarette burn and music away from the party a couple of floors above. Dara sighed letting out the smoke, her sigh caught the attention of the rapper, who turned his head to look at her.

"C-can I ask you something?"

The brunette laughed "You've done it but yes, go ahead."

"Why are you so down? It's been a while since I've noticed it. You almost never smile and if you do it is a fake smile, you just drink and smoke and spend most of your time in your studio or at home "He looked at her worried" Is everything all right? "

Just as he said, she forced a smile, feeling her eyes watering so she looked away from him. Mino did not stop looking at her for a moment so, despite her effort to keep the tears out of sight, he saw her cry. He got up and knelt by her side while rubbing her arm trying to comfort her.

"Hey, it's fine. You can cry if you want. "He trailed his other hand down her back and hugged her while she hid her face in his chest. A few minutes later she stopped sobbing but both continued in the same position "Do you want to tell me what happened?".

"Jiyong and I have broken up and the son of a bitch has brought a slut to the party. He was eating her mouth in front of me!” She exclaimed and shrugged closer to the warm body of the boy" I know we're not together anymore and he's free to do whatever he wants but I do not know...show some respect at least? "

"He should have waited a little longer to take someone to an event at the company." The black-haired agreed, she nodded away from his arms causing a cold to immediately spread through his skin.

"Exact. Thank you.” She accepted the handkerchief for which Mino had entered the room and carefully cleaned her face but could not continue because the boy took it from her hands and began to clean it.

"Let me do it" he murmured and began to spread the silk over her skin carefully, with too much care, as if she were the most precious and weak thing that he could have in his hands and that he should take care of. "I think hyung is stupid, not only for today but for leaving you. He's crazy about leaving a queen like you without a king. "

Dara moved slightly away from his touch leaving his cleaning job in half. She looked into his eyes and frowned thinking about why the hell she should have fallen in love with Jiyong instead of Mino. Without realizing her lips were already glued to his and her body was sitting on his lap.

She moaned when his tongue entered her mouth. She quickly brought her hands to his hair, that hair so well combed and cut that since she had seen it had made her want to run her fingers through it and ruffle it. The fireworks began to explode in front of them and the shouts of happiness of their record companions sounded in the distance. 2015 had already arrived.

Mino broke the kiss by separating from her, very little but for them it felt like being millions of miles away from each other. He looked at her confused.

"Help me to forget him, please" She whispered and he, even knowing that this would bring consequences, nodded before returning to stick his lips with hers and get up with her in his arms. He walked with a determined step towards the room where he approached the bed and placed her gently on top of it.

Mino pulled away to take off his shoes while Dara unzipped her dress. He came quickly to her after he had discarded his jacket and kissed her again before helping her to get rid of that dress that looked very expensive although he did not regret to see that under the dress there was a fine lingerie. He bit his lower lip with such force that it seemed that at any moment he would bleed, the brunnette took him from his tie and pulled him closer to her. He joined her lips again while she unbuttoned his shirt. Mino's mind kept telling him that this was probably a dream and that he enjoyed it because he would never experience such a real dream again.

"Mino" She sighed his name when his lips took hold of the skin of her neck, he growled happy to hear his name leave her lips and continued sucking her smooth and soft skin. He spent minutes on each part of her body, did not leave a corner without kissing while whispering how beautiful she was making her sigh happily.

He pulled away from the skin of her stomach and looked at her, eyes closed and moaning for him. He smiled and went down to kiss her on the lips this time.

"Mino” She whispered again when the kiss broke.

"Yes?" He pulled their sweaty foreheads together as his hands danced around the curves of her body.

The look she gave him said too many things, said he would help her, that she needed love, that she missed her family, that she felt...empty but she did not say anything of that.

"Mino, fuck me." She said instead.

Hours later the boy looked at her back where that stupid tattoo rested while she slept soundly after her attempt to forget Kwon Jiyong. Mino grimaced without stop looking at the tattoo, that tattoo that was famous throughout Asia, that tattoo that symbolized the eternal love that the king and queen swore to have before all but that in the end it would only be a scar on the skin of the queen that would remember her for life to the king.

And Mino did not like that because he knew that this, what had just happened and for what she asked so much, would be nothing more than a secret story that would be between them and that soon she would run into the arms of the king as soon as he was, realized how stupid he is and asked for forgiveness. And then there would be him, the funny but lonely jester who loves the queen in secret like many others.

He sighed and turned around, ready to say goodbye to the beautiful but tragic night that had just passed in front of him.

[coffee-styles]

"never have i ever.....umm...oh! related to a song or its lyrics"

*everyone looks around and bursts out into laughter when they see IM the only blushing with wide eyes and a 😐 kinda smile.

"oh my goddddd....what is it one direction?!"

me: "i mean-"

"BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

me: "well CAN YOU BLAME ME?!"

"weeeeelll...."

me: "shut the fuck up, it isn't just them. now...MOVING ON!"

(the bold lyrics are the ones i relate to)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Little Things:

I know you've never loved The crinkles by your eyes when you smile You've never loved your stomach or your thighs The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine But I'll love them endlessly

I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth But if I do, it's you Oh, it's you, they add up to I'm in love with you And all these little things

Dandelions:

But it's so good, I've never known anybody like you But it's so good, I've never dreamed of nobody like you

And I've heard of a love that comes once in a lifetime And I'm pretty sure that you are that love of mine

'Cause I'm in a field of dandelions Wishing on every one that you'll be mine, mine And I see forever in your eyes I feel okay when I see you smile, smile Wishing on dandelions all of the time Praying to God that one day you'll be mine Wishing on dandelions all of the time, all of the time

I think that you are the one for me 'Cause it gets so hard to breathe When you're looking at me I've never felt so alive and free When you're looking at me I've never felt so happy

(hehe....this is kinda funny bc turns out MY CRUSH WAS PRETENDING AND THOUGHT I WAS A JOKE SO LIED AND SAID HE DID LIKE ME BACK...long story short, toxic people are addicting and hard to leave especially when they're bipolar, a jerk one day and the next it's Harry fucking Styles' TPWK vibe...he called me names, i cried, blocked him after he let his friends text for him and now im confused bc idk if he never liked me or if he stopped liking me. but he said he just wants to be friends. i still like him bc im an idiot and......YEAH!)

Wonder:

I wonder if I'm being real Do I speak my truth or do I filter how I feel? I wonder, wouldn't it be nice To live inside a world that isn't black and white? I wonder what it's like to be my friends Hope that they don't think I'll forget about them I wonder I wonder

Right before I close my eyes The only thing that's on my mind Been dreamin' that you feel it too I wonder what it's like to be loved by you Yeah I wonder what it's like I wonder what it's like to be loved by

I wonder why I'm so afraid Of saying something wrong, I never said I was a saint I wonder, when I cry into my hands

Cloud 9 (by Beach Bunny or Paravi...they're the same, one is slow and the other is kinda rock n roll vibes which is the one i listen to):

I don't wanna seem the way I do But I'm confident when I'm with you Lately all I feel is bad and bruised Tired of tripping on my shoes

But when he loves me I feel like I'm floating When he calls me pretty I feel like somebody Even when we fade eventually to nothing You will always be my favorite form of loving

Happier Than Ever:

You scared me to death, but I'm wasting my breath 'Cause you only listen to your fucking friends I don't relate to you I don't relate to you, no 'Cause I'd never treat me this shitty You make me hate this city

And I don't talk shit about you on the internet Never told anyone anything bad 'Cause that shit's embarrassing, you were my everything And all that you did was make me fucking sad So don't waste the time I don't have Don't try to make me feel bad I could talk about every time that you showed up on time But I'd have an empty line, 'cause you never did Never paid any mind to my mother or friends, so I Shut 'em all out for you 'cause I was a kid

You ruined everything good Always said you were misunderstood Made all my moments your own Just fucking leave me alone

(now that ⬆ is what i relate to with my crush...but then again, Wonder and Cloud 9 is *chefs kiss*)

Lovefool:

Dear, I fear we're facing a problem You love me no longer, I know and Maybe there is nothing that I can do To make you do Mama tells me I shouldn't bother That I ought just stick to another man A man that surely deserves me But I think you do

So I cry and I pray and I beg

Love me love me Say that you love me Fool me fool me Go on and fool me Love me love me Pretend that you love me Leave me leave me Just say that you need me

You Belong With Me:

She's going off about something that you said 'Cause she doesn't get your humor like I do

I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like And she'll never know your story like I do

But she wears short skirts I wear T-shirts She's Cheer Captain, and I'm on the bleachers Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one Who understands you Been here all along So, why can't you see? You belong with me You belong with me

(my crush doesn't have a gf but his SUPPOSEDLY "gay" and "close" friend is the significant other in this song.)

Enough For You:

Tried so hard to be everything that you liked Just for you to say you're not the compliment type

And I knew how you took your coffee And your favorite songs by heart I read all of your self-help books So you'd think that I was smart Stupid, emotional, obsessive little me I knew from the start this is exactly how you'd leave

You found someone more exciting The next second, you were gone And you left me there cryin', wonderin' what I did wrong And you always say I'm never satisfied But I don't think that's true 'Cause all I ever wanted was to be enough for you And all I ever wanted was to be enough for you

And maybe I'm just not as interesting As the girls you had before But God, you couldn't have cared less About someone who loved you more I'd say you broke my heart But you broke much more than that Now I don't want your sympathy I just want myself back

Good 4 u:

And good for you, I guess that you've been working on yourself I guess that therapist I found for you, she really helped Now you can be a better man for your brand-new girl

Well, good for you, you look happy and healthy Not me, if you ever cared to ask Good for you, you're doing great out there without me, baby God, I wish that I could do that I've lost my mind, I've spent the night Crying on the floor of my bathroom But you're so unaffected, I really don't get it But I guess good for you

Well, good for you, I guess you're getting everything you want (ah) You bought a new car and your career's really taking off (ah) It's like we never even happened Baby, what the fuck is up with that? (Ha) And good for you, it's like you never even met me Remember when you swore to God I was the only Person who ever got you? Well, screw that and screw you You will never have to hurt the way you know that I do

Jealousy, Jealousy:

I kind of wanna throw my phone across the room 'Cause all I see are girls too good to be true With paper-white teeth and perfect bodies, wish I didn't care I know their beauty is not my lack, but it feels like that Weight is on my back, and I can't let it go

Com-comparison is killing me slowly

.............................................................................................

Blue eyes, see everyone getting all the things I want I'm happy for them, but then again I'm not Just cool vintage clothes and vacation photos I can't stand it, oh, God, I sound crazy Their win is not my loss I know it's true, but I can't help getting caught up in the

Co-com-comparison is killing me slowly

............................................................................................

All your friends are so cool, you go out every night In your daddy's nice car, yeah, you're living the life Got a pretty face, pretty boyfriend too I wanna be you so bad and I don't even know you All I see is what I should be Happier, prettier, jealousy, jealousy All I see, what I should be I'm losing it, all I get is jealousy, jealousy

(bye bc the last verse is literally his "gay", "close" friend and no one can tell me otherwise....she's perfect. her hair, her body, her face, her personality. they're made for each other! they both like anime, same show or manga or whatever, they both kinda have the same taste in music, they both are outgoing, they both are really close.....THEY'RE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER EVEN THO HE SAID HE HATES HER, HE OBVIOUSLY DOESNT, AND EVEN THO SHE SAID SHES GAY AND DOESNT LIKE HIM, ITS THE WAY SHE LOOKS AT HIM WHEN HES NOT LOOKING AND THINKS IM NOT WATCHING HER EVERY MOVE.)