#IDFK THE TAGS OK LEAVE ME ALONE

[buntsukim]

ZZZZzzzzzz theyre eeping

[heartorbit]

(Just attack!)

[notsodailycake]

So like, i started to think back to when i started working on the comic and like-

I can't remember???? Like idk how i did this, idfk what the fuck possed me to make this story, let alone draw AND post it- like I'm happy i did but wtf got me to grind on this???

It's all a fucking blurr to me, i don't know how i started the story, what made me wanna do it, like I've been know for having ideas and just leaving at that, maybe doodling it, but not making a full comic for it, and the actually continue it-

I'd say the support I've gotten for it si what kept, and keeps, me going, seeing the tags on the reblogs about how happy yall are about it, or how excited yall are for the next part, and the few who came into my ask box and gave me some very good questions thag helped me out to work on stuff that, i didn't before even tho i should have 😅

In general, idk what made me start this, probably the dead kids souls, but I'm glad i did bc I've gotten such good opportunities with this comic-

Ok sappy time over lol

[80hdean]

I posted 5,823 times in 2021

86 posts created (1%)

5737 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 66.7 posts.

I added 6,031 tags in 2021

#cas - 1452 posts

#dean - 1102 posts

#destiel - 909 posts

#fanart - 786 posts

#misha - 364 posts

#fave - 337 posts

#destiel art - 300 posts

#jack - 287 posts

#meta - 265 posts

#jensen - 229 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#and it hasn’t bothered me bc it’s so glaring to me that they might as well be wearing tshirts that say ‘i’m autistic ask me how!’ in ever a

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

ok maybe it’s just bc it’s 3am or maybe that it’s fathers day and also pride month and also transnatural week approacheth but like I had a record scratch thought the other day and it won’t leave me alone… but it’s also like skirting the realms of propriety for a lot of ppl and it’s related to a convo about something that I don’t have any answers for I don’t have any hard opinions about whether it’s ethical or fetishizing or not in every context

but like hear me out, if we are into domestic curtain fic and we are into baby jack and/or give-them-a-baby-natural and we are into trans dean and/or trans cas truthing (which we certainly are, at least for the sake of this post)

if these things are true then I would like to respectfully ask: where is the (non fetishy non omegaverse) mpreg fic? maybe it’s not called that idfk but like, I can think of a hundred scenarios off the top of my head that would result in either comedy gold, cavity-inducing fluff or Peak Suffering that involve an oops baby scenario, none of which require any magic or angel grace or supernatural handwavey nonsense. like it’s genuinely 100% in the real world possible for a dude to accidentally get knocked up! it’s not super likely if he’s on t but it’s certainly a thing that could happen

anyways I just think dean is so full of disorders and trauma and secret desires for children and family that it would also be entertaining to watch what happens if he was also full of cas’ baby

11 notes • Posted 2021-06-21 08:14:19 GMT

#4

this isn’t news but like yeah ‘when castiel first laid a hand on you in hell he was lost’ but also did you ever consider that when castiel first laid a hand on him, dean imprinted like a baby bird and was ruined for anyone else after that?

12 notes • Posted 2021-05-23 06:52:14 GMT

#3

shit bro do you ever just read (or re-read) the letter in the beginning of Stone Butch Blues and feel the weight of a thousand bricks slowly crushing your chest so tight until suddenly you’re sobbing? no? me neither

For more than twenty years I have lived on this lonely shore, wondering what became of you. Did you wash off your Saturday night makeup in shame? Did you burn in anger when women said, “If I wanted a man I’d be with a real one?”

Do you ever think of me in the cool night?

I never could have survived this long if I’d never known your love. Yet still I ache with missing you and need you so…

The storm has passed now. There is a pink glow of light on the horizon outside my window. I am remembering the nights I fucked you deep and slow until the sky was just this color.

I can’t think about you anymore, the pain is swallowing me up. I have to put your memory away, like a precious sepia photograph.

13 notes • Posted 2021-07-15 02:54:57 GMT

#2

it’s midnight and im back on my mpreg bullshit

akfjdkfj the non-cringey mpreg corner of this fandom (which seems to be like, um, four or five people lmfao it’s hard to know) is really rad and I appreciate the different angles everyone approaches it from, whether it’s baby-trapping someone (@autisticandroids’ mpregpocalypse), or it’s the body horror atrocity that happens when one is pregnant (postpartum prometheus by @dragqueendean & @nifedick), or it’s the angst angle of giving destiel the Most babies in the most tragic way possible (@astermacguffin’s au), these are all great!! I genuinely enjoy all of them for various reasons.

what I’m still not getting, though, is why it’s always cas being impregnated. I mean, the obvious answer is that it’s easy to invent some sort of handwavey angel magic that allows him to do pretty much anything with a fetus. but angel magic aside, are there character reasons for not inflicting this curse upon dean?

bc from where I’m sitting, it seems like a very entertaining way to cause dean Physical Suffering and Psychic Agony, as well as the gold mine of conflict between his fear of fucking up any life he’s responsible for and his deeply buried desires for that picket fence life he thinks he doesn’t deserve/isn’t cut out for.

I suppose that last part is arguable. It’s just one potential interpretation of the dean the show presents. resonates with me, so I ran with it but I don’t assume that’s ubiquitous.

perhaps the other issue is the characterization of cas, bc gender fuckery aside (i.e. I will not argue that carrying a human fetus is feminizing or whatever), gestating a human or human adjacent being inside a human vessel is difficult and strenuous and does make someone more vulnerable for a decent chunk of time (the degree of this varies widely, obviously). I kinda felt like towards the end of the show at least, cas had been beaten down so far physically/metaphysically (given his dwindling grace and decreasing mobility (though this is a rare hc of mine that I’ve never seen discussed on tumblr so it’s not a huge part of this argument)) that it is less interesting to me to make him more vulnerable? dean, in contrast, seems as strong and powerful as ever.

the other aspect is that to make dean pregnant you would either need to do more handwavey angel magic (which, sure why not what makes one magic more plausible than another?), or you’d have to make dean a trans man and deal with the fallout of that. I don’t think making dean trans is the issue, though, at least not in the tiny corner of spn fandom I find myself in, at least not for transphobia reasons. perhaps it’s just that the consequences of inflicting pregnancy on a trans man are arguably worse than on an angel, and therefore would be more difficult to parse and write in a non shitty and non cringe way.

or maybe it’s just me, succumbing to the brain worms? but I kinda think the extra consequence flavor is what makes the idea so spicy~

38 notes • Posted 2021-07-09 06:12:30 GMT

#1

Okay!! I know we are all supposed to be horrified at soulless Jack and be sad that he killed Mary or whatever but okay like

Jack is autistic

there’s just...I am not capable of seeing him as not autistic. and I’m gonna not go into it but the fucking soulless arc for him annoys me bc it plays right the fuck into those “autistic people don’t have emotions and can’t feel empathy” horseshit narratives and it makes me very mad!!

anyways my boy Jack he just had some overwhelming emotions and was tired and anxious and he had a meltdown!

(he just happened to have a god-powered meltdown)

but Mary pushed him 😂 she did what every idiotic allistic person does to every autistic kid ever having a meltdown; she followed him and made direct eye contact and wouldnt fucking shut up demanding he stop stimming and start responding to her and as much as I like Mary and as much as this obviously sucks for the story on the show—

there’s definitely a part of me that saw that scene and felt righteous vindication bc IF ONLY we had the fucking power to make people just stop when they’re being too loud/pushy/demanding

so what I got out of this storyline was:

Jack is an Autistic Hero!

103 notes • Posted 2021-02-02 06:26:54 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[the-final-world]

64 Questions I love these things 1. if you could have one superpower, what would it be that one tumblr post about Bethesda glitches 2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? 1?? The dark is ok as long as you don't hear some witchy shit then it's not ok 3. The person you would never want to meet? What 4. What is your favourite word? I dunno??? Apathy comes to mind 5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? I took a test and it said I'd be a willow tree so that 6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? "Why does my hair stand up like that, it looks like it has an election... Hairection" 7. What shirt are you wearing? My trademark tank top which I love 8. What do you label yourself as? ロスト コズ 9. Bright room or dark room? Dark room because the sun reflects on my screen and I can't see shit if it's bright 10. What were you doing at midnight last night? Playing danganronpa 11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? Literally none I've craved death ever since I was little 12. Who told you they loved you last? Oh 13. Your worst enemy? If I cared about keeping an enemy I'd say almost everyone but honestly having an enemy is a waste of time 14. What is your current background picture? Karamatsu 15. Do you like someone? I am incapable of romantic feelings without getting bored in two weeks 16. The last song you listened to? Afraid- the neighbourhood ️ 17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. who would you blow up? Boring 18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? Boring 19. If anyone could be your servant for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? ;) 20. What is your best physical attribute? I haven't taken care of myself for months I have no attributes 21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? You know damn well what I'd do Also grow a beard Beards are great 22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? I'm not talented 23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? Cannibals 24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Spinach feta spinach feta Idk what it's called 25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? A hundred dollars doesnt go far and idk I'd probably see if I can find the owner first It could be a little kids birthday money or something dude 26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? I'd give it to someone else tbh I wanna go to Japan and Canada and England but I want the satisfaction of knowing I worked for it 27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the beverage of your choice Iced coffee Or I could get somethin really fancy, sell it for a decent price, and use the money to buy stuff for the families in need around here? I know a few people and they could really use it! Altho I haven't talked to them since late December 28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? Don't hurt the fucking animals or you get the exact same treatment cunt 29. What is your favourite swear word? Fuck dude I use fuck and cunt alot? Those I guess 30. Your house is on fire! You have just enough time to run in there and grab one inanimate object. Don't worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing fire? Id panic and while deciding once I get into the house, burn alive bc Im an idiot Actually I have a secret chest with all these really treasured objects people have given me so that 31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? As much as I'd love to Ive learnt from every experience and if I were to erase them I'd be bound to make the same mistake so pass 32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has superpowers. But check out this cool fact… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Do I get to take my cats and family if so England 33. The celestial gates of beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend / family member / person / etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? I'd prolly thank the dude but I'd pass, it just seems really fucked up to bring someone back Just like cloning??? Messed up shit 34. What was your last dream about? Nightmare I'm not willing to share but I did have a dream about pizza before so 35. Are you a good… singer? No 36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? Yes 37. Have you ever built a snowman? I've never even seen snow 38. What is the color of your socks? I don't have any 39. What type of music do you like? Angsty music 40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? I love both 41. What is your favorite milkshake? C h o c o l a Te thiccshake 42. What football / soccer team do you support? No 43. Do you have any birthmarks No 44. What do you want to be when you graduate? I'm a dropout dude 45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Already changed it my man 46. Are you reliable? No 47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would you ask? Wyd ho 48. Do you hold grudges? Lil old me??? Yes I can't even help it, it is ingrained 49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? No what the fuck Lobster man 50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? When I was little this girl told me a praying mantis tried to have sex w her and I had a horrible dream about it 51. Are you a good liar? I wish I was 52. How long could you go without talking? I live almost secluded and I have no physical friends Guess 53. What has been your worst haircut / style? Long hair 54. Have you ever baked your own cake? I want to say yes but this is definitely fucking slang for some shit 55. Can you do any accents other than your own? No 56. What do you like on your toast? Nutella? Jam? Idfk? 57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? I posted it not long ago 58. What would be your dream car? One that drives 59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? I just think 60. Do you believe in aliens? Who tf doesnt 61. Do you often read your horoscope? No 62. What is your favourite letter of the alphabet? Y 63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? Dinosaurs I love dinosaurs I've always loved dinosaurs even before I could walk Dinosaurs have always been a thing w me 64. What do you think about babies? I hate them and I hatew people who shove them in my face leave me alone But that isn't an excuse to be mean to a baby or child directly tagging??? Who wants to do this tho