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iffeelscouldkill · 3 years

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say what we wanna do, make it all come true (chapter 1)

A/N: It is! My fic for the Fiction Podcast Big Bang @podcastbigbang! I am a bit terrified to be posting this after working on it for so long! Also this is in the running for the Longest TSCOSI Fic I’ve Written So Far (not sure if it’s the longest because I don’t remember where my wordcount is up to for Adjusting, but like... it’s long, guys). This is Chapter 1 of 3, and the remaining chapters will be posted weekly!

You can read this on AO3 where the formatting is honestly much better, but here it is on Tumblr anyway. Also, please check out the FANTASTIC artwork made for this fic by the wonderful @bluereadingdolphin and @demonic-kitkats, who are my artists for this fic and their artwork is so good, you guys, I’m in love and they did such a phenomenal job with the honestly pretty vague info they got from me 😂

bluereadingdolphin’s piece

demonic-kitkat’s piece (from Chapter 2!)

Please give them all the love!

Content warnings: There is a relatively brief physical altercation described in this chapter, but it isn’t graphic or bloody.

Also, I play a little fast and loose with POV in this; the first section is told from Sana’s perspective, the rest from Arkady’s.

---

“Hello and welcome back to Radio Indie, Folk and Techno, also known as RIFT, where we play all the bands that matter outside of the mainstream! I’m Piper Tanaka, and I’m your co-host for this programme! I’m joined as usual by the lovely Kestrel Colvin, with Reina Sakamachi in the booth! Now – where were we?”

“You were introducing our guests for this next section,” Kestrel replied in a slightly despairing tone.

“Right! Indie fans, I am joined today by two members of the fabulous up-and-coming indie band Rumor! With me in the studio are frontwoman and lead guitarist Sana Tripathi—”

“Hey! It’s a pleasure to be here.”

“—and bad girl bassist Arkady Patel.”

“Bad girl?” Arkady repeated, sounding halfway between taken aback and annoyed. Kestrel just shook her head.

“Ignore her. She’s got a thing for a certain… aesthetic.”

Next to Arkady, Sana was doing an incredibly poor job of hiding her laughter. “It’s the combat boots,” she whispered to Arkady.

“These are practical,” Arkady told her in a tone that suggested they’d had this conversation a few times. Sana said nothing, but straightened back up with a smirk.

“Sana — or should I call you ‘Captain’?” Piper began playfully. Sana grimaced.

“In hindsight, it was a poor choice to share that nickname in an interview.”

“You know, I think it suits you,” said Piper. “There’s something commanding about your aura. Sana, you and the band — which I understand you and Arkady originally started as a duo a few years ago—”

“That’s right,” Sana confirmed.

“You’ve always had a dedicated and loyal following, even from your early days — and we’re proud to have been playing your music here on this station for almost as long — but I think it’s fair to say the past few months have seen that rocket to a whole new level,” Piper said. “You got signed to a record label belonging to the mysterious but notoriously discerning Red Gregor, are working on your second album, and played a major gig at the CUI stadium just a few weeks ago. And we are definitely going to talk later about what went down at that gig, which is already the stuff of online legend — but first I want to backtrack a little, because I think the moment that everything started happening for you was when you added a new member to your band. In the middle of a gig, if the rumours are true. Can you tell us how that happened?”

Sana and Arkady exchanged a sidelong glance, and Arkady gave Sana a tiny nod. Sana took a deep breath, and began to tell the story.

---

“Jeeter, for the last time, put the keytar away,” Arkady said irritably as she and Sana entered the draughty, abandoned warehouse that the band was using as their current rehearsal space. The acoustics were pretty weird, probably due to all the broken windows, but it was otherwise hard to beat a free place to rehearse — especially a free place with no asshole neighbours who would yell at them to turn it down and threaten to call the cops.

Admittedly, it was in kind of a rough area, but Arkady had only needed to knock someone unconscious with her bass once.

In retaliation, Brian played another bright riff on his beloved instrument, accompanied by some jazzy keyboard chords from Krejjh. The two had been jamming together before Arkady and Sana arrived. “Dude, c’mon, can’t you hear how good this sounds?” Brian wheedled. “How many other indie bands do you know that have a keytar?”

“None. For good reason,” Arkady said, unzipping her case and slinging her bass around her neck. Sana, unpacking the sound equipment, smiled in fond amusement at their well-worn argument.

“It would give us such a great edge! Totally unique. And Krejjh and I have so many ideas that would sound great with both instruments—”

“Okay, Jeeter,” Arkady interrupted him, twiddling one of her tuning pegs. “You can play the keytar. Just as soon as you find us someone else who can play the drums.” She stooped to plug her bass into the portable amplifier that Sana had just unpacked. “Or are you planning to grow an extra pair of hands so you can play both at once?”

“Oooh! No, I should have an extra pair of hands!” Krejjh immediately (and predictably) enthused. “Then I’d sound four times as awesome! Four hands, all rockin’ out!”

“I think you mean ‘twice as awesome’,” Sana told them, as Brian reluctantly put away his keytar and picked up his neglected drumsticks.

“With me, twice the hands equals four times the awesome,” Krejjh replied with irrefutable logic. Brian laughed and held up a hand.

“Dude, high five.”

Sana waited for the two of them to finish their congratulatory high-five before she called the band to order. “Okay, guys — remember that we’re only a few days out from our gig at the IGR Corp function, so we need to have our crowd-pleasers up to standard.”

Arkady immediately wrinkled her nose. “Ugh, corporates. Why are we taking money from them again?”

“Because we need to pay for rent and food,” Sana said, bluntly. “And they’re giving us a lot for it. I know none of us love playing corporate gigs—”

“Understatement.”

“—but we are living a hand to mouth existence at this point, and if I can guarantee our survival as a band by relieving some corporates of their excess funds, then I’m going to do just that,” Sana continued. She waited a beat, and then added, “Also, we’re gonna let them get really drunk and then start playing our best anti-capitalist anthems, and see how long it takes for them to notice.”

Arkady broke into a shit-eating grin. “That’s more like it.” Krejjh cheered, and Brian did a little run-down on his drumkit, hitting each of the drums in turn.

“All right, let’s start with ‘Fear for the Storm’? One, two, three, four…” Sana started strumming the intro on her guitar, joined after a few beats by Krejjh’s melody on the keyboard.

“So long, can’t dodge the dawn, red light shines on and on and on and on and on…”

---

Arkady had been on edge ever since the band set foot in the agonisingly hipster office complex — excuse me, ‘headquarters’ — belonging to IGR Corp.

It wasn’t just the fact that these guys were extremely corporate corporates, or that the whole place radiated an almost aggressively minimalist aesthetic, or that the walls were covered in bullshit, chipper slogans that were all fancy ways of saying, ‘Work should be your existence – if isn’t, you’re dead to us’ — although those things sure as hell didn’t help, reminding her of the absolute worst parts of every soul-sucking corporate job she’d worked before Sana mercifully re-entered her life and suggested they form a band.

No, there was just this weird vibe, like everyone was super on edge and trying to hide it — the higher-ups were stone-faced, muttering into earpieces or barking orders at underlings, who scurried, terrified, to carry out their wishes. And everyone else, from the tech types in plain white T-shirts and jeans to the smartly-dressed sales reps in suits, looked like they were there on pain of death. Wasn’t this supposed to be a party?

The atmosphere didn’t go unnoticed by the other band members. “Kind of a weird feel to this place,” Jeeter remarked as he unpacked his drumkit on the raised platform at the front of the ‘rec center’ where they would be performing. Normally, setting up was a noisy, clumsy affair, with the band elbowing each other, tripping over wires, and getting in each other’s way in the tiny space they were afforded in bars and nightclubs. Here, the platform that would be their makeshift stage was huge and extremely visible — but everyone was completely ignoring them. There was also very little background noise for a room packed with people, and the band found themselves speaking in hushed murmurs, almost tiptoeing around. “You’d think there would be a bit more… chatter?”

“Maybe the alcohol just isn’t flowing yet,” Sana speculated, but she sounded uneasy as she looked out over the tense crowd. Even Krejjh, with their signature hot pink, heart-shaped sunglasses perched on top of their dyed-lavender hair, dressed in a clashing, flamboyant jumble of clothes and accessories, seemed subdued.

Arkady plugged in her bass with a burst of static, and deliberately played a loud riff. Brian startled and dropped his drumstick, but not a single member of the sea of blandly-dressed IGR Corp employees flinched.

Weird.

The sound equipment was all set up, sound check performed and instruments tuned by half past, but the set wasn’t due to start until o’clock. Normally, Arkady would be making a beeline for the bar, but she didn’t really feel like rubbing shoulders with any of these weird drones. She found herself reflexively checking the exits, mentally charting their fastest route out of there in case something really fucked up started going down. Sana half-jokingly called it paranoia; Arkady called it long, hard experience.

It was on one of her scans of the room that she noticed the woman with the septum piercing. Arkady chalked it up to professional interest — as a kid, she’d picked up some extra money working as an assistant in a tattoo and piercing shop, The Landing. She’d first met Sana there when the other woman came in on several occasions to have work done on an amazingly intricate floral sleeve tattoo — her own design. Later, Sana had led a campaign to save The Landing from being shut down over a bunch of bullshit health code violations so that the billionaire Cresswin family — who owned the property — could sell it off to a shitty corporation.

The campaign hadn’t worked, and there was now a high rise office block where Arkady’s home from home had once stood. But Arkady had never forgotten Sana.

Anyway, it was definitely the woman’s piercing and not anything else about her appearance that caught Arkady’s attention first. But then she noticed that there was something off about her body language and the way she was moving — something that Arkady recognised. She wasn’t scurrying about in a panic or affecting bored disinterest; her eyes were flickering around the room, carefully monitoring the comings and goings of the other employees while seeming not to do so. There were little devices studded around the room that Arkady had clocked as security cameras the moment they entered (it was the kind of thing she made a habit of noticing), and she saw the woman glancing up at them.

She was dressed like an employee – white blouse, dark rinse blue jeans – so why was she acting like she was casing the joint? Of course, Arkady reasoned, the outfit could easily have been chosen to blend in. It didn’t necessarily mean she worked there.

“Seen something interesting, ‘Kady?” Sana asked playfully. Arkady didn’t startle, but it was a near thing; she’d been so focused on watching this woman.

Unfortunately, Sana saw where she’d been looking. “You know, we’ve still got close to half an hour before we start our first set,” she said. “You can go and mingle.”

“I’m not here to socialise,” Arkady said witheringly. “Least of all with corporate drones.” She tore her eyes away from the woman to meet Sana’s amused look.

“I’m just saying, you seemed pretty absorbed there…” Sana said, and Arkady rolled her eyes, determined not to respond to her best friend’s teasing. She glanced back at the spot where the woman had been standing and found it empty.

A second later, Arkady had found her again, weaving through the crowd with her head ducked down. She was taking an odd route across the room that Arkady realised must have been calculated to avoid the security cameras. Occasionally she disappeared, behind people or objects (like a huge, obviously fake ficus plant), but it wasn’t hard for Arkady to spot her again. Clearly there was some kind of purpose to what she was doing, but the woman wasn’t a professional.

There was an elevator against the far wall, and as Arkady watched, the doors opened and a small group of people in suits – latecomers to the party – walked out of it. The woman mingled with them briefly, and then disappeared inside the elevator. The doors closed.

Well, that had been a way to kill five minutes, but now Arkady was stuck with nothing to do again. Krejjh and Jeeter had pulled out a pack of cards, and were playing one of their weird games on top of Krejjh’s keyboard. Arkady turned to Sana, about to make another comment about how much this place creeped her out, when she caught sight of the other person moving across the room.

Judging by the expensive suit, they were a higher-up, and were taking none of the precautions the woman had when making their way across the room, which suggested that they were confident about being allowed to do whatever it was they were doing. And to Arkady, it looked an awful lot like they were following the woman she’d seen. Based on the way the suit jacket fell, she’d also bet even money that they were armed.

Sure enough, the suit called the elevator, and disappeared into it a second later. Arkady swore under her breath.

It was none of her goddamn business whether a person she didn’t even know might be in danger, Arkady told herself. She was here to play music, not to get in the middle of whatever might be going down at this godawful corporation. Which again, was none of her business anyway.

Her resolve lasted all of ten seconds.

“I’m going to get a drink,” she told Sana, and placed her bass onto its stand.

“Oooh! Bring me a cocktail – no, a mocktail!” Krejjh said. Sana just looked at her quizzically.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

Arkady nodded briefly. “I’ll be right back,” she said, and jumped down off the platform.

She wasn’t under any illusions that Sana wouldn’t notice where she was going, and just hoped that her best friend would trust her to be back in time for the set. She slipped through the crowd, following the same path that the woman had taken to avoid the watchful eyes of the security cameras.

This worked right up until she entered the elevator, where sure enough, a security camera was embedded into the top corner. How had this woman planned to avoid getting caught?

Arkady pulled out her smartphone, and began to quickly and expertly worm her way into the closed network that IGR Corp was using for its security systems. After just a few moments, she’d managed to identify the IP address that the lift camera was using, and wow, whoever had set up this system was either incredibly lazy or was trying to lay out a welcome mat for hackers. They hadn’t bothered to change the default access password.

Arkady wound back the last few minutes of recorded video, and watched as the woman with the septum piercing pressed the button for the top floor. Arkady did the same, and as the elevator moved upwards, she introduced a glitch that would cause the security camera to loop footage of an empty elevator instead of showing who was actually inside. Then she worked to edit out the archive footage of the woman riding up in the elevator, and of herself getting in.

If it turned out that there was nothing weird going on here after all, well, she’d had some fun exploiting the corporates’ shitty security system.

But Arkady was pretty sure there was something weird going on.

The elevator came to a silent stop, and Arkady silently thanked the deities she didn’t really believe in for the fact that this place was too hipster to have an elevator that made a noise when it arrived at the right floor. The doors slid open, and Arkady immediately spotted another security camera on exiting the elevator. God, these corporates were paranoid. But apparently not paranoid enough to pay their security person to do their job properly.

Annoyingly, the security cameras for this floor seemed to be on a separate network, and Arkady started another hack as she crept down the corridor, straining her ears for the sounds of a confrontation. Further down, she saw an office door swinging open, as if someone had gone through it in a hurry. Arkady approached it, being careful to stay out of sight of the doorway. Closer to, she could hear a voice coming from inside – the suit’s, if she had to guess.

“…sure CEO Golding-Frederick will be very interested to hear just what you’re doing in her office, Ms. Liu.”

“Seiders, I can explain,” the woman – Liu – replied, her voice high with tension. “Project ADVANCE – it’s not what we’ve been told. The company is using it to-”

“What the company may or may not be doing with Project ADVANCE is not your concern,” Seiders said smoothly, over her, “and is a long way above your pay grade. But I’d be very interested to learn where you got your information from.”

“Do you know what’s going on at this company?” Liu demanded, outraged. “And that’s – you have no problems with what they’re doing?”

The closed network for the top floor of the building was much less of a pushover than the elevator, and Arkady kept half of her attention on the conversation inside the room as she worked to find a flaw in the system. Finally, she made it in, and began trying different password combinations for the camera in the hallway.

“It’s not my job to ask questions, Ms. Liu,” Seiders had been saying. “Neither is it yours. And if you value your job – not to mention the safety and security of your loved ones – you’ll step away from that computer, and go back downstairs to the party.”

“Are you threatening me? Are you threatening my family?” Liu demanded. “No, I’m not going to stay silent about this. Someone has to take a stand against what this company is doing. And if anything happens to me, that’ll only raise more questions.”

“We’re very good at making those questions go away,” said Seiders, and Arkady heard Liu suck in a breath. She moved so that she could see inside the room and shit, that was a gun. Arkady rapidly began calculating her angle of attack. “Didn’t you ever wonder what happened to Connors from Engineering?”

“That’s not – you can’t just make a person disappear,” Liu said, desperately. “I – I have insurance! Documents that I’ve sent to a friend of mine. If I don’t check in with them in two hours, they’re going to send them to a journalist contact, and it’ll be all over the press in the morning.”

Arkady could hear the lie in her voice so clearly, and she knew Seiders could, too. “If you had enough evidence to be worth a damn, you wouldn’t have broken into this office,” they replied. “I’m going to ask you one last time. Step away from the-”

Arkady slammed into the room, deliberately making as much noise as she could to draw Seiders’ attention. She took two, three steps towards them and grabbed their gun hand, forcing it down and towards the floor. She managed to hook one arm around their throat, pulling back and applying pressure. Seiders choked, struggling and jerking against Arkady’s grip. With the hand that was holding their gun hand, Arkady twisted and pulled their fingers open, causing the weapon to drop to the floor.

“Liu, grab the gun!” Arkady ordered. She saw the other woman yank something out of the computer that looked like a flash drive, stowing it inside her blouse. She dove for the gun at the same time that Seiders managed to thrust an elbow back, driving it into Arkady’s midsection.

All the air left Arkady’s lungs and as she struggled to draw a breath in, Seiders took advantage of her loosened grip to twist free. They grappled with Liu for the gun, but Liu succeeded in kicking it away, where it spun underneath a nearby cabinet. Then Arkady was on Seiders again, jumping onto their back and choking them.

She heard the sound of running footsteps, and someone else burst into the room. Arkady didn’t get a chance to see who it was before Seiders slammed their head back, knocking into Arkady’s and making bright white lights explode across her vision. She dropped to the floor and staggered, trying to clear her head.

She heard an oof and a thud, and blinked rapidly, sure that she would open her eyes to see Seiders bearing down on Liu – or worse, standing over her unconscious body.

Instead, she was greeted with the sight of Seiders crumpling like a sack of potatoes as Sana flexed her fist, having delivered a powerful uppercut that knocked them out cold.

Silence reigned for a few seconds, broken only by Liu’s sharp, panicked breaths. Rubbing her head, Arkady said, “Hey, Sana.”

“The next time you decide to go off on a rescue mission,” Sana said, wryly, “you could at least tell me where you’re going.” She frowned as she took in Arkady’s dishevelled state. “Is your head all right?”

“I’ll be fine,” said Arkady. She was more concerned with Liu, who looked like she might be on the verge of a panic attack. “Hey, uh, it’s okay. We took care of them.”

“Who-” Liu managed, taking deep breaths in and out, clearly trying to steady her breathing. “Who are you?”

Sana smiled at her, warm and reassuring. “My name is Sana Tripathi, and this is Arkady Patel. We’re-”

There was a noise that sounded not unlike a herd of elephants storming down the corridor, and Arkady closed her eyes. She had a bad feeling she knew what was about to happen. Sure enough, in the next second Krejjh and Jeeter clattered through the door in all their clashing multicoloured glory: Jeeter in his signature loud paid shirt and those stupid khakis, and Krejjh with their… everything. Most of the clattering was coming from Krejjh’s many bangles.

“Cap’n Tripathi!” Krejjh said. “We’re here to assist you with – oh my god, are they dead?” They stared at the unconscious form of Seiders on the floor.

“They’re not dead, they’re just unconscious,” Arkady said, irritated. “Did you two really take off without anyone to watch the equipment?”

Sana turned back to Liu like nothing had happened. “We’re the band,” she finished succinctly. “I’m the guitarist and lead singer, Arkady here plays the bass, and Krejjh and Brian are our keyboardist and drummer.” She indicated each of them in turn. Jeeter waved, and Krejjh saluted for some reason. “And who are you?”

Liu blinked at her. “You… you just saved my life, and you don’t even know who I am?” she said. “Why would you do that?”

“For one thing, because you’d probably be dead if we hadn’t,” Arkady said. “You’re welcome for that, by the way.” She pulled out the phone to finish the hack on the security cameras that she’d started before she entered the room.

“I – no, I know that. I’m not ungrateful,” Liu said, sounding a little stung. “I’m just a little… in shock. My name is Violet Liu,” she added to Sana. “I, uh, work in IGR Corp’s neuroresearch division.”

“Good to meet you, Violet Liu,” Sana said, sounding like they were old friends catching up at the bar instead of total strangers talking to each other over an unconscious body. “’Kady, are you erasing the security footage?”

Arkady nodded.

“Good; Brian and I will carry our friend here,” Sana indicated Seiders with her foot, “into the hallway. I think I noticed a closet there we can hide them in.”

“Uh… are you guys really the band?” Liu asked, as Sana and Jeeter – who was much stronger than he looked – bent down to pick up Seiders. “You seem very…” She struggled to find the right words. “…good at this.”

“We have some unorthodox skillsets,” Sana said, beaming and dimpling at her. “We don’t normally make a habit of rescuing people in the middle of a gig, but Arkady has a soft spot for damsels in distress.”

Arkady fumbled her phone, and nearly dropped it. “Sana,” she hissed, mortified. Sana, who was already partway out of the door, winked and disappeared into the hallway.

After a moment, Arkady realised that she and Liu were the only ones in the room, Krejjh evidently having decided to go along and supervise, or something. She refocused her attention on the hack she was carrying out; she’d managed to hack the hallway security camera, and was erasing the footage from that, but she still needed to do the one in the office.

“Uh…” Liu awkwardly broke the silence. “Is there anything that you need me to…”

“Is anyone likely to be monitoring the security cameras in real-time?” Arkady asked her. The question came out sounding a little harsher than she’d intended, but it was hard to be diplomatic when she was focused on trying to break into a security system. Also, it was a little annoying that Liu apparently hadn’t thought about security cameras beyond the ones on the ground floor.

“N-no, the system is all automated,” Liu replied. Well, that was something, at least. “I, uh, I do have a virus that I was planning to use on the security system that would corrupt the footage. I just needed to find an access point.”

Fine, so there had been a plan of sorts. “This is quicker,” Arkady told her. “And the way I’m doing it, it won’t be so obvious that someone has tampered with the footage.”

“Thank you for that,” Liu said, quietly. “And thank you for – I mean, you don’t even know me, but you came up here to help me. Why?”

Arkady shrugged, keeping her shoulders hunched and avoiding Liu’s gaze. “You looked like you were in trouble,” she said shortly. And that was the office camera done. Arkady resisted the urge to change the password to something rude, and withdrew from the network. “And I don’t like corporations. What were you trying to do, blow the whistle on them or something?”

“Um, I-”

Before she could explain, Sana poked her head back into the room. “Arkady, are you done? Because I don’t think we should be hanging around up here.”

“I’m done,” Arkady said with a nod, pocketing her phone. The two of them joined Sana, Krejjh and Jeeter in the hallway.

“We need a plan to get Violet back downstairs and out of the building without her being seen,” Sana said quickly. “’Kady, do you think you two can make it out in fifteen minutes?”

Arkady huffed. “I can hack the security cams, but I can’t actually make us invisible,” she pointed out. “People are gonna notice us. If we waited until you guys started the set, then we might have a better chance, while everyone’s attention is on the band.”

“Listen – it’s not that I don’t really appreciate the help,” Liu cut in. Her face was set, like she was preparing to go to the gallows. “But none of this needs to be your problem. It’s my mess, and I can get myself out of it. You guys should go and start your set.”

“Oh, pshaw!” said Krejjh. “We’re not just gonna leave you to the bears!”

Jeeter smiled. “To the wolves,” he corrected Krejjh.

“Are y’sure? Because bears can be pretty terrifying.”

“We’re not about to abandon you now,” Sana said to Liu, gently. “Between the five of us, I’m sure we can figure out a pretty good plan.”

“Can’t we just pretend to be loading something into the truck?” Jeeter suggested. “And Violet can help us? We could give her a band jacket – make her look like she’s with us-”

“It’s too bad you don’t play!” Krejjh said to Violet. “We could add you into the set. The ultimate entourage!”

“Uh…” Violet said (at the same time as Arkady said, “Camouflage.”) “I mean, I do play something? But you guys already have a drummer.”

“Wait, you’re a drummer?” Jeeter said delightedly, as Krejjh straightened up so fast that Arkady thought they’d pull a muscle. Even Sana looked interested. “Are you good?”

“Have you ever played with a band before?” added Sana.

Liu smiled and shrugged awkwardly. “Well, drums aren’t really a solo instrument, so yeah. I used to jam with some friends in high school, and played some underground rock concerts in college. I was never really with a band – we just sort of used to form collectives based on who was around and wanted to play. It was fun, though.”

She’d avoided answering the question about how good she was, Arkady noticed, which probably meant she was good and was being modest about it. Goddamn it.

“So if, hypothetically speaking,” Sana said, “you joined a set without having rehearsed any of the music beforehand, would you be able to figure out a drum part?”

“Okay, hold on,” said Arkady, before Violet could respond. “Don’t you think IGR Corp is going to notice that one of their employees has just… joined the band?”

“We’ll swear up and down that it isn’t her,” Jeeter said. “And even if someone figures it out, what are they gonna do about it in front of everyone?”

“But wait, what about you?” Liu asked Jeeter. “Wouldn’t I be putting you out of a role in the band?”

“Nah,” Jeeter said happily. “I brought my keytar!”

“Oh my god,” Arkady groaned. She could tell when she was fighting a losing battle, but it didn’t stop her from making one last, token protest. “This is going to sound really goddamn weird.”

Sana grinned at her. “Well, you wanted to annoy some corporates,” she pointed out. “What better way to do it?”

---

The problem was, the new line-up didn’t sound weird at all.

It sounded good.

Liu, hastily disguised with an old band jacket and a spare pare of Krejjh’s sunglasses, fitted in with their set like she’d been rehearsing with them for weeks – months even. They did a quick sound check, Jeeter looking far too delighted as he amped up his keytar. Sana gave her usual cheerful introduction into the microphone, introducing the band as Renegade, the name they adopted for corporate gigs (Arkady was even more glad of it now, since it would make them harder to track down later). After a lukewarm reception from the assembled employees (none of whom seemed to notice, or care, that the band had grown an extra member), they launched into their first number, a reimagined cover of ‘What Shall We Do with the Drunken Sailor’.

It started off with Sana singing alone, before Krejjh joined in, their voices singing in close harmony, and then Arkady and finally Jeeter, the harmonies becoming increasingly layered as they went. The addition of the keytar made the song sound futuristic, almost the kind of thing you could imagine crews of space explorers singing together as they made their way into the unknown.

Liu picked up the beat easily, and as the song unfolded Arkady suddenly realised she could hear a fifth strand to the harmony, weaving in and out of the other voices, soft but distinctive: Liu was singing.

They moved on from the conventional crowd-pleasing openers to a more eclectic mix of songs, including some punk and anarchist numbers. Each time, Arkady was sure that the choice was going to throw Liu off, but she adapted smoothly to each one, altering her style to fit the vibe of the song. In one of the louder, heavier songs she even threw in an impromptu drum solo that had Krejjh whooping at the keyboard and Sana laughing as she riffed on her guitar.

Sana threw Arkady a look as the song ended, and there was a light in her eyes that Arkady knew far, far too well. It was the same light that Arkady had seen when Sana tracked her down at her latest deadbeat job and persuaded her to quit and start playing music with her; the same light that she’d had when they met Brian and Krejjh a year later and Sana had decided to turn their duo into a band.

Sana wanted Liu to join Rumor. And Arkady couldn’t even think of a good argument against it, apart from the fact that they barely knew anything about the woman other than that she could play the drums. And that she was a corporate, which Arkady thought was important not to lose sight of, even if Liu wasn’t on the greatest terms with her employer any more.

Speaking of which. Arkady was on high alert throughout the whole set, constantly scanning the crowd for signs of trouble, anyone who might be looking too closely at Liu or showed signs of moving towards the elevator. As they’d been setting up, Liu had told them that Seiders was middle management: someone who outranked her, but not someone who held a position of particular influence within the company or had the ear of the CEO. Someone who had ambitions above their station. It didn’t mean no-one would notice them missing, of course; but it meant that they might be someone who, for instance, would go after a rogue employee without notifying their superior, hoping to reap all of the credit.

The band moved into their final number, ‘Landers Never Stand Down’ – one of Sana and Arkady’s early compositions, whose lyrics Sana had written as a tribute to The Landing, and her and Arkady’s shared history. Normally, Arkady would object to wasting it on a corporate audience, but tonight, it felt like the right kind of ‘fuck you’.

“Landers never stand down,

Landers never bow,

Landers never stand down,

We don’t know how…”

They wound up the song in their usual fashion, repeating the chorus and getting fiercer and more defiant with each repetition, before ending in a final blaze of guitar chords.

“Thank you, everyone, you’ve been a wonder to perform for!” Sana said into the microphone as the chords faded away. She said the same thing at the end of every gig, but it had never felt more like a colossal understatement. “We’ve been Renegade, and we hope you have a great night!”

There was a small scattering of applause. Sana beamed out into the audience again, and then turned away from the microphone, sliding the power to ‘off’. “Well, that was-”

“Attention, all IGR Corp employees,” came a voice over the loudspeaker system. Sana froze, and Liu, who’d been leaning over to say something to Krejjh, paled visibly. “Please stay where you are. We will be carrying out a routine attendance check. Please do not exit the building.”

“Attendance check?” Arkady repeated.

“It’s a standard employee procedure,” Liu explained. “To make sure everyone’s… accounted for at corporate functions. Supposedly they’re optional, but it looks really bad if you’re not there and you don’t have a reason.”

“Do we think there’s a chance this is linked to…” Sana gestured towards the elevator. Liu shrugged helplessly.

“It could be, but even if it’s not, they’re gonna discover that Seiders is missing pretty quickly. And that I’m… unaccounted for.”

“Don’t worry,” said Jeeter, reassuringly. “We’ll figure out a way to get you out before that happens.”

“Dashing escapes are our speciality!” Krejjh contributed. This was true; the band hadn’t always played at the most above-the-board venues, and there’d been more than a few times they’d needed to get the hell out of Dodge before things got ugly. Well, uglier.

Sana nodded. “For now, just keep packing down, like nothing’s wrong,” she said.

As Krejjh packed down their keyboard and Jeeter helped Liu to disassemble the drumkit, Arkady said to Sana, “I’ll go with Liu, and we can sneak out a back entrance-”

Sana shook her head. “It’ll be more suspicious if we’re not seen leaving as a group.”

“We’ll just say we’re going to the bathroom,” Arkady said. “We’re allowed to do that, aren’t we?”

Sana started to reply, but then stopped, squinting at something on the other side of the room. Arkady tried to follow her gaze, but couldn’t see what she was looking at. “What is it?”

“I thought I saw…” Sana shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. Let’s try the front way first, and if they won’t let us leave, we’ll get creative.”

Unsurprisingly, when they carried the first load of equipment over to the rec room entrance, two stoic-looking IGR employees blocked their path, bouncer-style. Arkady eyed one of them, pretty sure she could take her in a one-to-one fight.

“Sorry, we can’t let you leave while an attendance check is ongoing,” said the employee, with a bland detachment. “Company policy.”

“It should only take about an hour,” the other added. “You can enjoy the free refreshments while you wait.”

An hour? Even if they hadn’t had a very pressing reason to get the hell out of there, Arkady would have been looking for the nearest fire escape to break out of. They were just supposed to cool their heels at IGR headquarters for an hour?

“Can we not at least load our equipment into the van in the meantime?” Sana asked reasonably. “This is a very heavy amplifier…” She made a show of struggling with the amp she’d been lifting with ease a few seconds ago, and Arkady suppressed a snort.

One of the corporates had opened their mouth, looking like they were about to object, when a friendly voice spoke from behind them. “Is there a problem here?”

They all turned to look at the person who’d spoken, and Arkady carefully masked her surprise: the tall, dark-skinned man dressed in an expensive-looking suit jacket, T-shirt and jeans combination was none other than Red Gregor, a close friend of Campbell’s. They’d met him once or twice, but what was he doing here?

“Who are you?” asked Corporate One, audibly unimpressed.

“Theodore Gregor; I’m the band’s executive producer,” Gregor introduced himself smoothly, handing Corporate Two a business card. Their eyes widened at whatever was written on it. “My clients have another engagement to get to tonight, so you can understand why it’s very important they be allowed to leave promptly. Additionally, their contract stipulates that they’re only obliged to perform for your company until-” he made a show of checking a gold watch, “-nine-thirty P.M., after which time we’ll need to bill you for every additional half-hour. Will your supervisors be signing off on the additional expenses?”

Corporates One and Two were visibly thrown by the torrent of information. Krejjh made a noise that was hastily stifled, while Arkady did her best to look bored and important.

“I… no, let me just contact my superior to get you the all-clear,” said Corporate One, reluctantly. “Johnson will help you to load your equipment into your…” She eyed the band’s battered van, visibly out of place in the parking lot full of sleek cars. “…vehicle.”

“Great!” Sana said brightly, handing the amplifier to Corporate Two, who took it and staggered slightly. As Corporate One spoke into a walkie-talkie, Sana and Red Gregor strode quickly ahead, the rest of the band trailing behind. Arkady lengthened her steps to catch up with them so that she could hear their quiet exchange.

“…doing here? Did Campbell send you?” Sana was asking Red Gregor.

“In a manner of speaking,” Red Gregor said. “He talks about you so much, I wanted to come and hear what all the fuss was about. Love the new line-up – you guys sound completely different to when I last heard you play.”

“It’s kind of a new thing,” Sana admitted. “New as of… today. I can fill you in, it’s just a long story.”

“I can’t wait to hear it,” Red Gregor said, and Arkady remembered that she’d liked him, the couple of times that they’d met. She could see why he and Campbell were good friends. “But let’s focus on getting you out of here. I’m guessing you need an exit?”

“And fast,” Sana agreed.

“Well, fast’s your speciality,” Red Gregor said with a grin. Sana smiled back at him, and Arkady wondered if Red was basing this off stories from Campbell, or if he and Sana knew each other better than Arkady had realised. It was a strange thought to have in the middle of everything.

Sana unlocked the van and slid open the back door. While Krejjh, Jeeter and Liu loaded their items into the trunk, overseen by Corporate Two, Red Gregor pretended to help Arkady and Sana with their instruments.

“So what now?” Arkady asked Sana. “I think I can probably take Johnson.”

“Arkady, you’ve already been in one fight today,” Sana said, disapproving.

“What’s your point?”

“I have a more bloodless suggestion,” Red Gregor said. “You’ve got a few pieces of equipment left in the venue, right? I’ll go back inside with Johnson to ‘collect’ them, say we’re going to check their supervisor has given you the go-ahead, and you guys make a break for it. I’ll bring the equipment in my car and meet you at the dive bar, half a mile down the road.”

“Are you sure you’ll be able to get away? What happens when they realise we’re gone?” Sana asked.

“I’ll come up with something,” Red Gregor assured her. “Just focus on getting yourselves out of here.”

He walked over to Johnson, who was slightly bemusedly watching Jeeter and Liu (who were clearly stalling for time) rearrange pieces of the drumkit in the trunk, and took him by the arm, steering him back towards the building and talking rapidly all the while.

“As soon as they’re out of sight, everyone needs to get in the van quickly,” Sana instructed. “And hang onto something. Okay? Now!”

Krejjh slammed the trunk of the van shut and everyone piled into the back without a word of protest. Arkady jumped into the front as Sana slid into the driver’s seat, reversing out of the parking space like a shot and executing an alarming hairpin turn to get them onto the road. Liu cried out in alarm, not used to Sana’s driving, and Arkady hung grimly onto the handle on the inside of her door.

“Everyone okay back there?” Sana asked, peering into the rearview mirror.

Arkady looked back to see Jeeter and Krejjh scrambling to put on their seatbelts, each of them having thrown an arm over Liu to keep her in place. “Oops, sorry, I forgot we don’t have a seatbelt for the middle!” Sana said cheerfully as they thudded over a speedbump. Liu closed her eyes. “There’s normally only four of us.”

“It’s not far to where we’re going, right, Captain?” asked Jeeter.

“Just a half mile down the road,” said Sana. “Red Gregor’s going to meet us there with the rest of the equipment, as soon as he can get away.”

“What was he doing at the gig? Did Campbell tell him where we were?”

“I think so. He said that he wanted to come and hear us play,” Arkady said, watching buildings blur past on either side of them. “I guess it was lucky he did.”

“We would’ve figured something out,” Krejjh said confidently.

“Uh, who’s Campbell?” Liu asked, cautiously opening her eyes again.

“He’s our… manager? Kinda?” Krejjh replied. “He doesn’t tell us what to do or anything, but he has a lot of contacts, so he gets us most of our gigs.”

“Contacts in the music industry? Or contacts in like… events venues, bars and clubs?”

“Yes,” Krejjh said helpfully.

“He just has a lot of contacts,” Jeeter said with a smile. Arkady smirked at Liu’s look of consternation.

“Tonight’s gig did not come through Campbell,” said Sana, spotting the dive bar Red Gregor had specified and indicating to turn off the road. “We got it through an agency, Fowleys. I guess that’ll teach us not to go outside Campbell’s network.”

“Hey, it worked out!” Krejjh said. “We got a new drummer out of the deal.”

“Well, for tonight, at least,” Sana said, now reversing into a parking space. “I gotta say, Violet, the way you fitted in with our sound? That was amazing. Our set sounded better than I could’ve imagined.”

Liu blushed. “They were great songs,” she demurred, as the van came to a stop.

“Too bad it was wasted on IGR Corp,” Arkady remarked, undoing her seat belt as they all climbed out of the van.

They got a table in the corner of the dive bar, which was pretty full and made it easy to blend in. As Sana went to get them all drinks, Krejjh and Jeeter started up some kind of nonsensical word game. Arkady and Liu glanced at each other occasionally, but otherwise sat in awkward silence.

Finally, Arkady asked something that had been on her mind since she intervened in the confrontation between Liu and Seiders, though it had taken a back seat to more pressing concerns. “What was it you were trying to get from that computer, anyway?”

“Sorry?” Liu asked, looking away from Krejjh and Jeeter, where she’d been listening in on the game with a slightly baffled expression.

“In the CEO’s office,” Arkady clarified. “I saw you take a flash drive out of the computer. What were you trying to get?”

“Oh,” Liu said, drawing out the little drive from inside her blouse. “Yeah, I was… trying to copy some files onto it. I’m not sure how much I got, though – I had to pull it out before the transfer was complete, and I think they’re encrypted.”

“What kind of files are they?” Arkady asked, thinking that she could probably break the encryption in an afternoon. Maybe less.

Liu hesitated, and Arkady narrowed her eyes. “You’re not still trying to protect your company, are you? In case you don’t remember-”

“No, no,” Liu said quickly. “I just – I’m not sure if it would be safe to tell you. Safe for you,” she added. “Right now, you have plausible deniability if anyone questions you. You genuinely don’t know what’s on this flash drive. So maybe it would be better to keep it that way.”

Arkady was a little bit pacified by that, but still – “Considering I’ve already aided and abetted you, I think that ship has sailed,” she pointed out. “No-one is going to believe I did it without having any idea what you were up to. Which I’m fine with,” she added, as a guilt-stricken look crossed Liu’s face. “I made a choice to help you, and so did the others. But I may as well know what the stakes are.”

“Yeah, that’s… fair,” admitted Liu. Next to her, Krejjh was doing a fairly poor job of pretending not to listen in. “They’re blueprints. My company – the company – has been developing… do you know what IGR Corp does? What kind of a company it is?”

“Some kind of a tech company?” Arkady said. She vaguely remembered Sana saying something about that when they got the gig. She hadn’t really been paying attention to the details.

Liu nodded. “Smart technology – specifically, smart home technology. We produce – I mean, they produce things like smart security systems, smart doorbells, systems that can detect when someone has a medical emergency. Systems that are designed to help keep people safe.”

Arkady had to work to keep from grimacing. She wasn’t sure that being monitored by a computer 24/7 fitted everyone’s definition of ‘safety’, but maybe Liu had never had cause to doubt that the people with power had her best interests at heart. Lucky her.

“But then,” Liu went on, her voice bitter, “I found out that the latest product we were developing – the one that was supposed to make everyone’s lives so much easier, so much better – is being created as a surveillance device. To eavesdrop on people and send their data back to the company. And I know that a lot of smart devices have audio capabilities, but – this was hardwired in. Impossible to disable. And this weird, secretive new division of the company has been set up to process the data.”

“What are they gonna do with it?” Arkady asked.

“Who knows,” Liu said. “They could be collecting it for the government, but – I think it’s more likely they’re just planning to sell it on to the highest bidder.”

Arkady’s eyes narrowed, and she wished that Sana had brought the drinks already so that she’d have something to down.

“You know,” Liu said, her voice suddenly much softer. “I, uh. I still haven’t thanked you properly for, uh, well-”

“O-kay!” came Sana’s voice, loudly, as she finally arrived at their table carrying a small tray laden with glasses. “Sorry for the delay, guys, there was a heck of a crowd up at the bar. Also, the bartender was really interested in talking to me while he pulled these drinks.” She made a wry expression, her dimple deepening in one cheek. “Cheer up, ‘Kady, I’ve got your favourite-” She slid a pint glass of raspberry ale in front of Arkady.

“Thanks,” Arkady mumbled, not looking at Liu.

Red Gregor arrived not long after, having apparently evaded IGR Corp by pretending that he was going outside to look for the band, and then driving off with the equipment before anyone realised what was happening. Sana passed him a drink from the tray; no-one asked how she already knew his preferred drink order.

“So look,” said Arkady, after they’d done some small talk and toasted to a successful getaway (Sana’s idea, of course). “Not that we didn’t appreciate the save earlier – you had pretty good timing – but why’d you go to all the trouble of coming to an IGR Corp function just to hear us play? How did you even get in?”

“I know a lot of people,” Red Gregor said mysteriously, with a fluid shrug. “As for why I came – you probably don’t know this, but I’ve been getting into the music biz lately.”

Arkady tried to remember what ‘biz’ Red Gregor had been in before, and couldn’t. He was one of those people who seemed to do a bit of everything.

“That’s awesome!” said Krejjh, looking delighted. “Are you going to start a band? Or manage one?”

Red Gregor smiled. “Actually, neither. I’m starting a record label,” he said. “And I want to sign you guys to it.”

Liu choked on her drink; Jeeter said, “Wow, really?” and even Sana looked taken aback. Clearly this hadn’t been the answer she was expecting.

“Us?” she said, as if Gregor could have meant anyone else. “As in…” She gestured around the table, including Liu.

Red Gregor nodded. “Look, your new sound is like nothing I’ve ever heard from a band before,” he said. “Campbell has always spoken highly of you guys, and I really liked your originals the last time I heard you perform. But with this new line-up? I think you could become really big. If that’s something that you want, of course.”

Sana sat back in her chair, looking thoughtful, while Krejjh looked practically ready to vibrate out of theirs with excitement. “That would be a pretty big step for us,” she said. “Not that we wouldn’t love – more exposure, better opportunities-”

“Gigs in legal venues?” put in Jeeter.

“More above-the-board performances,” agreed Sana. “But we’ve only played once with this new line-up. We don’t know for sure if we can replicate that – and I mean, we’d be asking Violet to just drop everything and join us full-time-”

Red Gregor held up his hands. “Like I said, it’s completely up to you,” he said. “I’m not here to pressure you into something you’re not ready for. But don’t underestimate yourselves. I wouldn’t be offering if I didn’t have faith in you guys.”

Sana looked around the table, taking in the mixture of expressions, ranging from Krejjh’s eagerness to Liu’s uncertainty to Arkady’s… Arkady didn’t know what her face was doing. “We’ll have to put it to a vote,” she said, predictably. “And if any of you need more time to think this over-”

“I’m in!” Krejjh said instantly. “We rocked tonight! I want to keep on rocking that hard. And we should totally record an album.”

Jeeter smiled fondly. “I’m on board with anything that will let me keep playing the keytar,” he admitted. “And I thought we sounded pretty awesome, as well.”

Sana looked at Liu. “Violet, you’re the one who this would be the biggest change for,” she said. “The rest of us are already playing in a band full-time. Well, with the odd side gig,” she added, because yeah, they did not yet make enough money from performing to cover the bills. “You barely know us, and you’re not under any obligation to stick around – or to switch careers.”

Liu gave a slightly broken laugh. “Well, I don’t really think I can go back to my old one,” she said. “That option evaporated as soon as one of my colleagues pulled a gun on me. Not… sure I’ve really had time to process that yet.”

Sana nodded. “If it’s too soon-”

“But no amount of processing is going to make my situation any different,” Liu went on. “I could try to get another job in my field, but… IGR Corp is a pretty well-known company. Word’s going to get around that I’m untrustworthy, especially if they put it about that I tried to steal corporate secrets.”

“They can’t do that,” Sana said immediately. “I used to do some union work; whistleblowing is a protected activity, and it’s against the law for them to blacklist you – to make it more difficult for you to obtain future employment.”

Liu smiled slightly. “I don’t think IGR Corp are too concerned with breaking the law,” she pointed out. “I appreciate it, but… this isn’t my first experience with a hostile work environment.”

Okay, so maybe Arkady should take back her earlier thought about Liu never having had cause to distrust the people in power.

“Besides, I haven’t even blown the whistle on them yet – I’m not sure if the information I have is worth anything,” Liu said, a little grimly. “And anyway… I think it’s time for a clean slate. So, if you’ll have me… I’m in.”

Which just left Arkady. She could see how pleased Sana was that Liu was willing to join the band full-time, even though she was trying to hide it. Krejjh and Jeeter, too, were excited – and not just at the prospect of getting better gigs and earning more money (though that was a very appealing prospect).

The fact was, Red Gregor was right – they’d sounded like a completely new band during their performance. Arkady had always liked their stuff (of course she did; she’d even co-written some of it) but the new sound gave it a flair she hadn’t even realised it had been missing. As much as she couldn’t help thinking of the dozens of ways this could go wrong, she wanted them to keep sounding like that. She wanted to see what else they could do.

“‘Kady?” asked Sana.

Arkady took a deep breath. “Sure. Let’s do this.”

#TSCOSI #Podcast Big Bang 2021 #The Strange Case of Starship Iris #Vikady #Arkady Patel #Violet Liu #Brian Jeeter #Krejjh #Red Gregor #who turned into a surprisingly key character for this fic which is fun #I'm kind of inventing his personality from wholecloth but I like him #the background Sana/Campbell/Red Gregor sort of came out of nowhere and I just went with it #love me some OT3 vibes!

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sixth-light · 4 years

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Tagged by @morallygreywaren: “ Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors! “

Doing stories posted to AO3 only (I’m behind on transferring ficlets) in reverse chronological order. I think most people I would remember to tag have been tagged, so as is often the case, have you read this and thought “I wish someone would tag me”? You’re it!

(Also I discovered an exciting new hellsite failure mode: I resized the window I was working in and Tumblr wiped my draft post I was half-way through typing, even though I didn’t refresh the page. AMAZING. so functional much website very wow.)

Clusivity (Joe/Nicky, TOG): “Joe liked to think of himself as someone who kept an open mind about people.”

portrayal (Joe/Nicky, TOG): “The first thing Nicolò thought about Yusuf al-Kaysani, when they shook hands in front of three cameras, eight crew, and two members of his father’s PR team, was that he had an impressive amount of self-control.”

makes me want you more (Joe/Nicky, TOG): ““Are you done yet?” Joe asked Nile, after a full minute had passed and she showed no signs of overcoming her laughter.”

Acts of Kindness (Joe/Nicky, TOG): ““Come here,” Nicolò said, tugging at Yusuf’s arm, and Yusuf, of course, came at once.”

men of their word (Joe/Nicky, TOG): ““You’re all here today,” says Andromache, the Prince of the city, “because I’ve had enough.””

the map is not the territory (Joe/Nicky, TOG): “Yusuf was frowning at the big map on the windowless wall of the council room, mentally overlaying trade routes onto it, when he heard footsteps in the corridor.”

love at first sight (every single time) (Joe/Nicky, TOG): “When Nicky went to the bar to get another drink, the woman in the next booth bent around to whisper urgently to Joe.”

Apex Predators In Island Ecosystems (Freeman et al., in press) (Nile-centric gen, TOG): “Nile didn’t really start to believe there was anything to this whole dinosaur park thing until they were in Costa Rica, getting into the helicopter that was going to take them to the island.”

Known By Touch (Joe/Nicky, TOG): “Yusuf came back to the land of the living as a crow settled on his face.”

marriage of (in)convenience (Joe/Nicky, TOG): “Booker liked to remind Joe, for years afterward, that he probably should have thought harder about why Nicky had proposed to him so quickly.”

make your own fun (Joe/Nicky, TOG): “Joe was sitting at his desk with a work project open, sketching idly in his notebook, when he heard someone else come into the office, accompanied by the sound of music from the party further along this floor.”

In Good Time (Ali & Muntadhir, The Daevabad Trilogy): ““I need your help,” Ali said to Nahri.”

all winners here (Joe/Nicky, TOG): ““You guys have never heard of gay chicken?” Nile said, that fateful evening.”

A Taste Of Home (Nile-centric teamfic, TOG): “Nile crossed the Canadian-US border into the country of her birth for the first time in six years, late one November – not nearly as cold as it should have been in New England this time of year, thanks, climate change – and realised that two days from now was going to be Thanksgiving.”

Good Enough To Be True (Joe/Nicky, TOG): ““You know what I need?” Joe says to Andy, one afternoon. “I need an arranged marriage.””

Husbandry (TOG/Heyer-verse fusion): ““Frederica!” Charis exclaimed, having barely taken her gloves off. “Frederica, I have heard the most astonishing news.””

prior probabilities (Joe/Nicky, TOG): ““We are very pleased to receive you,” the queen of Tunis tells Nicolò, “but I am afraid I have poor tidings as return for your journey: my son is not here.””

A State of Mutual Ignorance (Joe/Nicky, TOG): “For more than a month after he first kissed Nicolò, Yusuf sailed through the world in a soft, shiny haze of joy.”

home is how you make it (Joe/Nicky, TOG): “Over the last seven years or so, Nicolò had developed a set of rules to determine what he was facing when he returned to Genoa from Malta.”

The Same River Twice (Joe/Nicky, TOG): “Nicolò spends the night before they are due to arrive in the port of Genoa talking to himself in Ligurian.”

Thoughts inspired by this exercise: I never med a res I did not want to be in medias of, and I like dialogue. Oh, boy, do I like writing dialogue.

Of these, I think my favourite is the opening line for men of their word, because it invites so many questions right away. The second is home is how you make it, because it’s the opener to a - in my opinion - rather deft layout of the story’s setting.

#tag memes #my fanfic

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dogcopter · 4 years

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Jane is Lore 2020

Ok, here’s the round up of the ghost part of the situation with @keepbeachcitysafe and @keepbeachcityweird.

Theory: Ronaldo’s girlfriend Jane is the key to figuring out Rose Quartz is not gone, largely via a constellation of background clues. If that sounds ridiculous, I understand. I’m Ronaldo. Actually I’m not Ronaldo, but hopefully I’ll have a post about him too soon. I hope we can all have fun together tho

This post is very, very long and involves a lot of images. It will be confusing at first, but please entertain the thought and keep reading, and I hope it clicks into place. I may need to update it later.

Three sections for supporting evidence:

1. Restaurant Wars, Jane, KBCW/KBCS blogs’ interaction & contents

2. Astral projection/ghosts/fusions

3. Dogcopter secrets

Restaurant Wars Saga & Jane’s appearances

So Ronaldo has a blog at @keepbeachcityweird - he also published a book based on his blog called Keep Beach City Weird: You Can’t Hide the Truth!!!, which is available for purchase.

On April 23, 2014, Lion 2: The Movie airs. Jane appears for the first time working the ticket booth at the movie theater and sees Lion and the kids fight a killer robot. Dogcopter 3 is playing at the theater.

April 23, 2014, Ronaldo at Keep Beach City Weird also posts about seeing Dogcopter 3 at the movie theater, where the parking lot is a mess, presumably from Steven, Connie and Lion’s robot training fight.

He mentions “First of all, it’s a huge mistake to turn the last Dogcopter book into THREE movies.”, but that’s less relevant to this particular post. The important thing is that he, like Connie, follows Dogcopter, who’s also associated with Jane. (We’ll get to Dogcopter’s appearances in SU in the last part of this once the context is established)

Ronaldo’s posts in general document specific events and details in his home Beach City, but that’s another post entirely.

Exactly a year later, Ronaldo on April 23, 2015 posted about receiving a mysterious letter, which might be from Jane because (beneath a great deal of smudging) it appears to call Ronaldo the CUTEST GUY EVER! (This isn’t crucial or anything, just noting it as one of our first Jane points).

I GOT A LETTER TODAY!!! But for some reason it was all wet and I can’t even tell what it says. Is it a love letter? Is it a death threat? Please tell me! I need to know if I should lock my doors or open my heart!

Jane also appears in Beach City Drift. After Beach City Drift, keepbeachcitysafe posts an episode reaction blog, on July 22 2016, and takes special notice of Jane.

Hey did you guys notice that girl that keeps appear. We saw her when Steven took Connie to the movies and now she’s here. I wonder if she’s involved in something. Hmmmm. So Stevonnie raced Kevin down the hill in his Himitsu X12, that’s secret in Japanese.

(Kevin’s Himitsu X12 is his car, in the middle there. We’ll come back to this and what KBCS means in a second.)

July 25 2016, Restaurant Wars airs, the third of Jane’s four appearances in SU. In this ep, Jane comes a long way to return Ronaldo’s Koala Princess DVDs, and catches Ronaldo with Kiki and is upset.

KBCS posts another episode reaction blog, pays attention to Jane again, and says they plan to message Ronaldo.

Ronaldo says he can’t do it because of his girlfriend. Ooo, he has a girlfriend, that’s pretty cool, you just know whats gonna happen next.

Ok so, Ronaldo’s, GIRLFRIEND, (imagine me saying that in slow motion) showed up at the worst possible moment.

Everything was back to normal. Except poor Ronaldo, I should sent him a letter to cheer him up. Seen ya next week.

Almost immediately the KBCS and KBCW blogs play out a little interaction online:

Ronaldo goes through some stuff.

No post today. If anyone needs me I’ll be at Brooding Hill… where I’ll be CRYING. I usually cry at Crying Canyon, but it’s closed right because of some flash flood warnings.

Then Ronaldo posts KBCS’s letter.

Note how KBCW caps this message so the name is clearly visible? It’s referring to Ronaldo’s bio:

It’s not very cheering...but things work out shortly thereafter. Jane likes one of Ronaldo’s posts and all seems well.

I think it’s going to work out you guys. Thanks for all your support.

After this, Ronaldo doesn’t post again until Rocknaldo several months later, and one last time after publishing his book.

That’s April 18 2017. The KBCW tumblr is never updated again. KBCS’s final post is not long after, Jul 4, 2017.

Finally, Jane makes a cameo alongside Ronaldo in the very last scene of Steven Universe Future, “The Future.”

Koala Princess, Astral Projection and Psychic Ghosts

So some interesting patterns come up when you connect the two blogs, the clues associated with Jane, and some understanding of Steven’s powers. Let’s revisit Keep Beach City Weird, a Ronaldo’s primary blog, and Keep Beach City Safe, which contains mysteries too big for this simple Dogcopter/Jane-hime lore post.

Keep Beach City Weird - Ran from September 2013 to April 2017, with a lot of posts made in October 2015 and July 2016.

Keep Beach City Safe - Ran from June 2015 to July 2017, with most posts in 2016 of course.

Let’s look at a timeline of posts. I’m going to call out things that we’ll connect to the Jane lore at the end.

Keep Beach City Weird: Ronaldo’s blog

Nov 1, 2013, days before Steven Universe first airs: KBCW’s first post is all about Astral Projection.

Astral Projection! The ability to travel outside your physical body and into other planes of existence!

I began to feel lightheaded and before I knew it, I was floating above my body. Amazing! I walked out onto the boardwalk in my new ASTRAL FORM, and you know what the weird thing was? Nobody even said hello to me. I was COMPLETELY INVISIBLE! I mean, usually nobody really notices me, but this was a different kind of not being noticed. This was not being noticed on another plane of existence - so I didn’t feel bad about it.Anyway, after being ignored in the arcade and Fish Stew Pizza, I got bored and I went back to the fry shop to re-merge with my body.

Astral projection is a power Steven demonstrates a number of times, and you’ll see among these posts that certain powers of Steven involving this stuff are called out by the blog.

Connie: What? Where are you? How are you...? Steven: I’m not sure, but I think it’s a classic psychic ghost type situation. Connie: Ah, of course! So, what’s the plan?

from Reunited

Steven: Oh man. I fell asleep and had this weird dream. I opened the door and Lapis was there, and- Pearl: Well, that doesn’t make any sense. Lapis is fused with Jasper at the bottom of the ocean. Steven: You’ve never had a dream before, huh? Pearl: Uh, I don’t think so.

from Chille Tid

August 28, 2014, Joking Victim, Ronaldo posts about ghosts. And an arsonist from about 150 years ago.

September 04 2014, Steven and the Stevens, Ronaldo posts about "cross dimensional travelers”

And all the cross dimensional time travelers I know don’t want to go on the record about their experiences.

Not mentioning posts that don’t mention ghosts/astral projection/dimensions in some capacity, but in realtime Ronaldo liveblogs in response to episode events.

Ronaldo also answers some fan asks. On October 31 2014 after Keep Beach City Weird he answers this question about floaters with “BACTERIAL GHOSTS” in all caps, this one about his first encounter with the supernatural (the events shown in Horror Club, which aired February 12, 2015)

Nov 2014, Ronaldo posts twice about Watermelon Stevens and a review of the anime Soul Blaster, “Like every anime, Soul Blaster is about a high school student. Our hero is a cool dude, with even cooler hair named Kyosuke. He battles rogue spirits with the help of his Soul Blaster - which happens to be powered by the spirit of his deceased younger brother, Kettaro. “

On December 4, 2014 Ronaldo posts about Koala Princess, who will become important in this post when we get back to Dogcopter and Jane. Koala Princess is repeatedly used as a stand-in for talking about Steven’s journey. In this post Ronaldo says:

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ok, so I just finished the final episode of Koala Princess and I don’t want to get too emotional on you guys but I CAN’T STOP CRYING! Koala Princess goes on a walkabout and enters dreamtime and finally MEETS HER KOALA MOTHER FOR THE FIRST TIME!!! SLKDJFSDJ:FS

I’ve got so many feels! These feels are the real deals! On wheels! WHAT AM I SAYING?! I’M GOING CRAZY!!!

Lion 3: Straight to Video aired on the same day as Ronaldo’s post. In this episode Steven meets Dogcopter in a dream, and then sees his mother Rose Quartz for the first time - she speaks to him via a VHS tape.

After Alone Together, Ronaldo posts about Stevonnie, who is a fusion. He also gets stuck under a fridge for a bit after Future Vision in January 2015.

And I want TO GET OUT FROM UNDER THIS FRIDGE!

He posts like five times about it in the same day because he’s freaking out.

And also I want my body to be shot into space with a print version of my blog so an alien civilization can find me reconstruct my body and worship me.

On February 19 2015 after Winter Forecast, he posts about using time travel to fix bad decisions:

Sometimes I think about all the bad decisions I’ve made and how they’ve affected my life, and I wish I could go back in time and change them. But unless I can find a way to break into the Pentagon and steal a time bike, I’m just stuck with having regrets.

After Political Power Ronaldo claims glowsticks are filled with ghost blood.

Anyway, then stuff happens.

January 4 2016, after The Answer, Ronaldo posts about seeing Dogcopter 4 and shares the poster for it.

One interesting thing about the poster is that if you invert it and mess with the contrast a bit, a strange diagram appears on the left. A true mystery.

And after months of avoiding and spoilers or teasers or trailers, I was in line for Dogcopter 4, and then some dummy walking out of the theater TOTALLY SPOILED EVERYTHING and was like, “I can’t believe that Dogcopter’s parents are actually cats.”

Coming back to Dogcopter in a minute, but these are relevant details.

Dogcopter dies defending the planet but then he comes back to life because he’s actually part cat and cats have 9 lives.

On Jan 5, Steven’s Birthday, Ronaldo posts about celebrating his birthday on a different date every year.

Every year, I celebrate my birthday on a completely different day. Why? To keep my birthdate a SECRET so that no clandestine government agencies can steal my identity!

July 2016, the saga with Jane and KBCS above happens. When he’s sad about Jane breaking up with him, the same day Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service comes out (in which Steven astral projects into Kiki’s dream), he listens to sad music.

Ugh, I wish I had some sad music to listen to at work. All I have is a playlist of video game soundtracks and some EVP recordings of ghost hauntings. I guess ghosts are sad. I’ll just listen to those.

But if you’re feeling happy, I do suggest listening to the “Go-Go Gorilla Go-Go Kart Racing” soundtrack. Some solid 16-bit J-reggae.

This post may partly be a reference to the Sadie Killer song G-G-G-Ghost, which is performed in The Big Show and wouldn’t air for a bit, but is also astral projection related.

Why can't you see me? Why can't you see me? I think I might be A g-g-g-ghost. Can't you see that I exist? And I don't need an exorcist To let me out Look at me and I'll appear Why can't you see that I'm right here? That I'm right here? Why can't you see me? Why can't you see me? I think I might be A g-g-g-ghost. I'm calling you from the other side

Once Ronaldo has gone through grief and anger, he resorts to begging her to come back. This post is from July 28, the day Alone at Sea aired in which Jasper begs Lapis to return.

Much like Koala Princess’ vision in the Eucalyptus Jungle in Season 5, Episode 13 what you saw on the Boardwalk the other day was not what it seemed. I was only pretending to date Kiki to defend my family’s honor, just as the Kanga-ronin did in Season 1, Episode 3!

Here is another Koala Princess reference. There are a couple SU references in the episode numbers in this post.

The events of Season 5, Episode 13 of KP was not what it seemed: for Steven Universe, this is Your Mother and Mine, in which Garnet tells a story told to her by Rose Quartz. It later turns out to be a false origin story to cover the truth that Rose Quartz was Pink Diamond.

Kanga-ronin pretended at something to defend family honor in Season 1, Episode 3, which in SU is Cheeseburger Backpack - where Steven buys a novelty backpack so he can carry things on missions to be useful for the gems, fails his first mission and pretends he’s fine. The events of this ep are later referenced in The Test.

Finally, Koala Princess’ vision in the Eucalyptus Jungle is a reference to Stevonnie’s vision in Jungle Moon, which is Stevonnie’s first interaction with Pink Diamond via a memory dream. In this dream, all was not as it seemed either.

Then the KBCW blog doesn’t post until Feb 2017, after Rocknaldo. A couple ghost and dream-y quotes from here:

In my searches for THE TRUTH, I’ve done a lot of listening. I’ve listened to haunted houses to hear ghosts from other dimensions. I’ve listened to radio signals from the cosmos for signs of alien life.

I’ve also learned that HUMANS NEED TO SLEEP. I didn’t sleep for 48 hours and I PASSED OUT FOR DAYS.

Ronaldo’s final post is an ad for his book, which comes out during a hiatus, and he references Koala Princess again:

I did have a little help from some fellow truth-stigators I met on a Koala Princess forum, Ben Levin and Matt Burnett, but most of the work was definitely done by ME!

Now let’s look at Keep Beach City Safe.

Keep Beach City Safe: [???]’s blog

For KBCS, I’m only going to skim to address ghost/astral projection related content that comes back to the business with Jane, Dogcopter, Koala Princess and Rose. The rest of this blog is a little too big for right now.

It’s interesting that KBCS seems to have mostly flown under the radar, but between the Jane arc and a couple other things I believe it to be legit. Suffice to say I’m treating it as real and you will see why in a minute.

For KBCS I’ll mostly mention which episode a post is associated with, but not the date like with Ronaldo’s.

KBCS’s reaction blog to Nightmare Hospital includes a couple relevant lines:

Where was the Gem M.? I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around! It was mom!

Don’t tell me It’s on the other side of the hall corner. That would mean it saw mo- Connie’s mom!

KBCS posts a blog between Too Far and The Answer, in which they review a number of events. (They post another blog about fusions in which they describe Garnet and Stevonnie’s components as well)

During the movie the TV just shut down and they were being chased around by a “ghost”. It was actually a gem stuck inside the house, making the house seem like it was possessed.

They also get pretty excited about Steven’s birthday.

Only a few more minutes until Steven’s Birthday!

Eeeeh! Only a few mins left until midnight. We finally get to learn about Garnet’s past! Are guys happy, I know I am. I can’t even express how happy I feel, but I’ll try. And I will not act crazy while doing it, Imma keep it cool. So it’s like Peace and Love had a son, and his name was Steven! Then Steven fused with Connie, who was the daughter of Happiness. And they formed Stevonnie, who was made of everything right within the universe!

On Steven’s Birthday they also post about the Dogcopter 4 movie.

I’m gonna be a Smart Spoiler and drop hints in my post for you guess. Only those who have watched it will notice the clues. Yep, watching it 9 times.

This clearly references Ronaldo’s post about Dogcopter having nine lives, but KBCS is a little more considerate about spoilers.

In KBCS’s “It Could’ve Been Great” post, they’re still talking about Steven’s birthday. There’s a promo image attached as well.

To start things off I just wanted to say: I did see Steven turn into a baby? And I would also like to say: DID YOU SEE STEVEN TURN INTO A BABY!?!?

So, by now your probably wondering what the second image is aren’t you? We clearly it’s a pic of Rose holding a cupcake candle.

We, here at Keep Beach City Safe, thought that Steven would’ve liked to have his mom at his birthday party. Happy Birthday from all of us at KBCS. Hope you like it.

Future Vision reference. (Some of this is less relevant to the Jane thing but I’m pulling quotes that are related to fusion and stuff in the hopes it gets clearer)

This reminds me of the time that Garnet gave Stevens her future vision. I don’t know what happens exactly, but I think you see what’s going to happen in the future hence the name future vision. Being able to see into the future would be awesome, yet terrified at same time.

There’s a great post about Pie Day - in fact, KBCS posts about Pie Day a few times. They call out Pearl, too, which reminds me of a certain prolific fandom video editor’s handle.

You know who else knows about Pi. Pearl, but also Peridot.

Pearl Doesn’t Like Pie. Happy Pie Day!

This is not a good photo of Pear let’s see if we can find a better one. Now that’s better.

Sorry for the tangent. Let’s talk koalas now.

KBCS posts about The New Lars. They have thoughts about Steven’s ability to hop into other bodies, namely the question of whether Rose could do this as well.

Steven is worried that Lars isn’t being truthful about his feelings. So through his dreams, Steven jumps into Lar’s body, and trys to make his life better. But he only makes things worse.

Steven somehow possessed Lars’s body through his dreams. He’s done it before and he’ll do it again, we have a word for it now: Dream Possession. But he can also enter dreams.

He did it with Lapis, the Watermelon Stevens, and now Lars. That’s one gem, one sentient plant, and one human. Well with lapis he was merely communicating with her. This, new power, is seems to activates itself whenever Steven wants to help someone, but can’t because something getting in the way. Could this be a power passed down from Rose, or is this a power he himself posses?

#koala vs sloth

in The New Lars, koalas come up twice. Koalas in SU are associated with Steven’s astral projection powers. Remember how Koala Princess met her mother in the dreamscape?

Steven: For your consideration...The koala, a marsupial from the forests of Australia, and the sloth, hailing from the forests of South America. Who should be crowned the king of the "Hanging Around Doing Nothing" mammals!?

Steven in Lars’ body: Whatcha doing? Hanging out? Buck: Yeah. Steven: That's cool. Would you say you hang out more like koalas or sloths? Uh, I'm asking for Steven.

Steven: Um... I'm really, really sorry about yesterday. I got you a card, it's got a koala and a sloth.

From The New Lars. Steven references koalas three times.

KBCS gets to Beach City Drift. They take notice of Jane and of Kevin’s car.

Hey did you guys notice that girl that keeps appear. We saw her when Steven took Connie to the movies and now she’s here. I wonder if she’s involved in something. Hmmmm.

So Stevonnie raced Kevin down the hill in his Himitsu X12, that’s secret in Japanese.

So while we’re back on the subject of Jane, here’s something interesting about Dogcopter and the Himitsu X12. They both show up in advertisements together in the background of Empire City.

Mr Greg

Same Old World

This is what KBCS is talking about - Dogcopter has a secret.

For Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service, KBCS has more to say about dreams.

She has a nightmare and Steven, coincidentally, falls asleep after eating and enters Kiki’s dream. Now Steven The Dream Warrior, must help Kiki battle her dream, and finally end this nightmare once and for all.

Steven, who for some reason keeps going into people’s dreams, goes into Kiki’s dream.

Steven fought for about week, and he’s was tired by day four. And we know from experience that a sleepless Steven, is a cranky Steven.

This is the same power Steven used in Chille Tid. and look who showed up again?

After Monster Reunion airs, KBCS posts a liveblog and includes a far-fetched accusation that Rose Quartz is Pink Diamond.

Think about it! A Diamond should have access to all gem controlled tech, right. And if Rose Quartz was Pink Diamond, which she is, then she should be able to too, right. And Steven has Rose’s gem. So now Steven can access gem tech. And one more thing to prove this theory once and for all.

But there’s one thing that doesn’t add up. Rose Quartz… is a Quartz. How could she be a Diamond?????? Maybe I’m wrong, she could have been just working along side Pink Diamond. Maybe this just a crackpot theory about the impossible. I don’t think gems can turn into different gems? who knows, I guess we’ll find out sooner or later.

When KBCS gets to Crack the Whip, they take note of Lion and tag him thrice:

Crack the Whip! Is it just me or is that foreshadowing?

Oh, did I mention that Lion was there. He was just there, when Connie opened the door, he walked up and just started hanging. It was so cool! It was like, Just Lion Things 2! So the snack break, that takes the whole day, ends at the beach, where the idea originally began.

Amethyst faces off Jasper, gem to gem, while Steven and Connie, and don’t forget Lion, fight the corrupted gem.

Lion was keeping the Gem Monster busy while all of this was happening. I was so stunned when Steven and Connie fused, without doing a fusion dance! How well they worked, together, they rode on Lion, and defeated Jasper, and poofed the Gem Monster all at the same time!!!

#just lion things 2 #lion fights #lion still fights

There’s also a weird Google Slides slideshow connected to the KBCS account, which includes this image featuring Lion, Tiny Floating Whale, (and Connie and Greg) and the word TRUE with Steven’s affirmative!

More Koala Princess

Two more Koala Princess references - although only one is immediately relevant -

In Gemcation, Ronaldo keeps texting Steven about Koala Princess. Steven’s lockscreen is a selfie with him and Lion.

Also, as a sidenote, Koala Princess is implicated in sneople trolls on anime message boards.

Dogcopter

These are just the Dogcopter appearances (Thanks to SU wiki as well as my brain) Dogcopter fights robots in at least one timeline, and the book is allegedly really long. Bold Dogcopters are the pink dogcopter, everything else is an ad or grey.

Lars and the Cool Kids - Poster

Lion 2 - The movie they all go see.

Lion 3 - Gives Steven advice.

Chille Tid - Shows Steven how to find Lapis. Meows. (Dogcopter’s parents are cats.)

Same Old World & Mr. Greg - Advertisement

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service - flies Steven away.

In Dreams and Growing Pains (Note this is grey Dogcopter) - Flies away in Stefan’s nightmare, proposes to Drew the driver (or at least offers them something) in the Dogcopter 6 Till Death Do Us Bark I Now Pronounce You Man and Woof trailer.

Snow Day - Pupcopter, a spinoff for babies.

And for Steven’s Birthday - Connie points out a Dogcopter constellation.

Astral Projection

Another quick summary. I’ve written a lot on this psychic ghost stuff so check my blog if you want the tags, idrc. Summary of astral projection powers Steven has shown:

Leaving his body (Reunited, Escapism)

Possessing other bodies (New Lars, Escapism, SWI)

Traveling to others’ dreams (Kiki’s Pizza, Chille Tid)

Interacting with fusion components within the fusion’s mind (Chille Tid, Mindful)

Regarding KBCS’s question of whether Rose could have done this, it doesn’t seem impossible - and as of Fragments and Homeworld Bound, we know that Gems don’t die when they are killed. (Lol.) That is, the personality/soul can appear in the same gem if it’s shattered and repaired. And Steven’s mom’s gem is perfectly intact, inside him.

Literally what is the point of all this

So after KBCS and KBCW spent so long talking about astral projection, ghosts, dreams, fusions, etc etc. they never actually got to the point - just pointed us in the direction of a bunch of clues that

Rose Quartz isn’t gone.

Obviously. She’s in his gem in him, like Lapis and the mirror, or the lighthouse gem. She uses astral projection to help Steven in his dreams as well as see him in Rose’s room, like other fusions speak in the mindscape. (There’s a lot more to this but this is enough to ask anyone to wrap their head around atm)

She also interacts with him through other bodies, the same way Steven takes over Lars’ body, or the Watermelon Stevens.

Remember this?

We, here at Keep Beach City Safe, thought that Steven would’ve liked to have his mom at his birthday party.

Who came to Steven’s birthday in which Connie points out that Dogcopter constellation?

Who gave Steven advice when he wished he could talk to his mom?

Who showed Steven where to find the tape?

Who else could have asked Steven, “What do you want” in Susan Egan’s voice?

(Why did they choose to hire Susan Egan to voice a cameo in Under the Knife in the first few seconds of Fusion Cuisine, where she says “It’s my son!” while Lion is onscreen)

Or reassured him that Rose’s tape was telling him the truth?

Who first brought him to Pink Diamond’s moon base?

Who knew where Rose’s armory was and how to train with it? (Note the giant penny)

Who showed Steven the location of Pink’s fallen palanquin?

Who found Rose’s lost scabbard?

and knew where Pearl would run to when she’s upset?

Who (reluctantly) brought Steven to the landfill and Pink Diamond’s ship?

Who showed him how to find Malachite?

Twice?

Who showed him how Pink Diamond tried to stop the Earth’s colonization, and who to ask for the truth?

Who tried to entertain him on Mask Island when he was trapped on Homeworld?

And then rescued him from the open sea?

Who showed Stevonnie the password to Yellow Diamond’s moon base?

Much like Koala Princess’ vision in the Eucalyptus Jungle in Season 5, Episode 13 what you saw on the Boardwalk the other day was not what it seemed.

So yeah Rose is Lion 2020. Thanks for reading this extremely long nonsense.

Also thanks to @babybeetlebongos for both mindscape lore and fixing Ronaldo’s cheek in the banner image, lol. I made a Twitter thread about this as well (and the more in depth Lion and astral projection theory threads are quoted at the top, if you need them. the #mindscape deeplore 2020 tag/tags on this post have stuff too.)

#steven universe theory #steven universe future #su theory #steven universe #rose is lion 2020 #mindscape deeplore 2020 #jane lore 2020 #kbcs lore #dogcopter #lion the mood #rosedemption 2020 #would you believe this isn't even the deep part of the rabbit hole??? im tired tho #i hope i left enough info for others to get into KBCS if anyone cares #i love this fool rose quartz

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lockdownuk · 4 years

Text

Lockdown Diary Part 6

A personal account during the lockdown in the UK due to the Covid-19 outbreak.

23/03/2020 8:30pm Boris Johnson, UK Prime Minister, gives a live address to the nation to, effectively, put the country on lockdown to stem the spread of the deadly coronavirus strain, Covid-19.

Many of us have been self-isolating for days but this latest development within the UK in reaction to the pandemic feels very serious and very scary. I decided to keep a simple diary and where better but online.

Day 151: Great hour or so last night around Foggy’s. When I got home I watched World War Z and some stand up by Nate Bargatze and drank and smoked loads. Today, I got up just before 2pm and felt soooo unmotivated. I was going to have a day of doing fuck all but had a change of heart around 7pm so did my stair climb then walked for over an hour (7km) and got home at 9:30pm!

Day 152: Typing on day 153. I popped up and saw Foggy last night. One of the reasons was I wanted to take him a beer to say thanks for looking over my mitigation statement for my impending court hearing for speeding. He liked what i wrote but has given me some key amendments. Basically free solictor advice and I am very grateful. While there he hit me with the news that Ham’s sister, Preeya, has died (last Friday 14th August) from Covid 19. To say i was gobsmacked is an understatement. She was 49. The family could only talk to her over a loud speaker and had to say good bye that way as her life support was swithced off. Fucking hell, it’s terrible. And, what makes it worse, is how complacent I have become about the disease while it’s causing so much tragedy. As I said to Foggy, it’s important to renew our efforts in combatting this disease so that Preeya’s death at least means we learn. I also feel guilty for not realising that many people have passed like this - just because I (sort of) knew Preeya doesn’t mean I shouldn’t feel any less sorry for the dozens of people dying and many more affected everyday. My emotions are in turmoil and yet I’m not directly affected.

Day 153: Typing this on day 154. Gone midday before I woke up. Beers in the evening and watched Den of Thieves. Great film.

Day 154: Woke up at 2:37 pm FFS. Just done a walk and I feel like shit (booze induced).

Day 155: Went to bed at about 4am yesterday but was up at 10am today so, usual Monday correction of sleep patterns. Two long walks today plus a little housekeeping on photos, sharing to the Oundle chatter group, so, quite constructive. Hoir chat with dad plus a chat with a recruitment agemt about a helpdesk manager role in Peterborough.

Day 156: Typing on Day 157. I saw Karen sitting with TTP (and two others I couldn’t make out) at the T&K on my second walk. Why does that piss me off so much? I am being like Jack in Midnight Run. I need to let go.

I am also getting wound up with Tumblr - I can only make entries on this diary blog on the PC - when I try on the Android or Apple apps, they pop up with ‘post too long’. Trying getting info from Tumblr’s online help on that though - fucking not happening. I think I might move this to a Google Blog...it’s not like anyone else reads it. I’m not sure I’d want that - it’s far more a private diary now rather than the cute ‘blog’ idea it started out as. It is now a disciplinary exercise more than anything.

Day 158: Feeling less sorry for myself now. It’s 10pm and I am having a midweek beer as I wait for tea to cook.

Day 159: Decided I will split this diary into 30 day sections to appease Tumblr. My second walk today was at 8pm ‘cos it was pissing down from about 4pm ‘til 7:30pm...very dark and so wet. Home by 9.15pm.

Day 160: I went shopping in Corby (Tesco and Asda) - I only really went so I could get blue eggs. £75 on booze! I was going up to Fog’s tonight but at around 6pm it started to piss down. So, I shall drink at home. It’s 9.15pm, I think it’s going to get messy.

Day 161: Not sure when I wnet to bed last night but I didn’t get up until 2pm. Nice long walk (9km) in the rain!

Banners and Sam G went to London to have a few with Andy P. I’m a little flabbergasted, it’s like there’s no Covid19 all a sudden.

Day 162: Bank holiday Sunday so I am having a beer or two. Tea’s cooking, gonna watch The Accountant on BBC1 at 10.30pm. Today I got up at 1.55pm and managed to have a shower and be downstairs to see the start of the Belgian GP. Hamilton won, pretty easily. I then did my stair climb and a 9.8km (6 mile) walk.

Last night I watched a rather quirky, entertaining comic horror film called Ready or Not and then Ricky Gervais - Fame. That’s the tour I saw him live after seeing Henman’s final tennis match at the Davis Cup at Wimbledon. Bloody funny - the recording could even be the show Karen and I were at. Bed at around 5am, hence not egtting up ‘til way past midday!

Day 163: Bank Holiday Monday, just like a Sunday. I am making this entry on my phone as I'm now able to due to breaking up the diary blog into 30 day sections.

Molly's Game, a film I've tried to rewatch several times but it's never been free, is on BBC2 tonight. I'm recording it right now but actually watching Seinfeld from the start on All4. The first couple of episodes are a bit ropey if truth be told. Luckily, I know it improves.

Day 164: Managed to get hold of Michelle via her daughter Daisy to place a nice big order for C. Just as well ‘cos Tim’s ignoring me!

Rang and spoke with Barry Haddon today to check he’s OK.

Day 165: Picked up C from Michelle’s in Yarwell. While there I was mauled by her over friendly Staffordshirebull terrier getting bit on the thigh. Twice in six months I’ve been bitten by dogs.

Karen WhatsApp’d to see if I’d seen Miley Cyrus on the Live Lounge!

Day 166: Forgot to say that yesterday, I also bumped into and chatted with Pete Gilder. We mainly talked about (getting caught) speeding.

Today I did over 22k steps and I am fucked.

I replied to an email from Shirley at work HR. After the furloughed staff call on Thursday, which I didn’t attend, they want us to cash in some (more) hoilday, which is fine by me, but I have also asked if we are any clearer as to what happens on 1st October, when the rentention scheme ends. I await her reply.

Day 167: Another 20k stpes today. Just 24k needed to have completed 1m steps since the start of July.

It’s Friday, about 9.45pm. I’m going to watch Molly’s Game and have a few beers.

Day 168: Got up at just before 2pm. It’s now 10.15pm and I am just having my first beer, Today was a lazyish day, completed 12k steps.

Day 169: Completed the 1m steps with 24 days to spare. Woohoo. Now, I am unsure whether to reduce the walking I have got so used to doing? I think I might keep up an average of 11k steps a day which is all I would have needed to accomplish to reack 1m in 3 months.

I’m pleased I did it today since I :went to bed a nearly 5am this morning!

Day 170: Actually typing this on day 171. Feels weird having done the 1m steps, almost like I’ve nothing to do. However, I am of course going to keep walking but not quite as hard/much. I did feel liek I was walking myself into the ground all in the name of finishiong the task ASAP. So, today I only had one walk, did 11,5k.

Yesterday’s Italian GP was a cracker. Hamilton had a penalty and ikt ended up with Gasly winning. Full of incident including a red flag so the race ‘restarted’.

I completely forgot ot make this entry on the correct day?

Day 171: I have decided to press on with the walking - not quite so urgently as before - to see what I can achieve steps-wise in 3 months. So, today, an unusually hot day for September, I did 18k steps plus cleaned the bathroom, hoovered my room and stairs and hallway. I am fucked!

Today I have bought a set of smart scales and a new pair of Skechers. The Skechers were almost free (£69 reduced to £30ish which I had in Paypal) and the scales were £20. Still, I shouldn’t. I don’t know what will happen at the end of October when the CJRS ends plus I don’t know what punsihment will be dished out, any day now, for the speeding offence! Fuck it!

Day 172: An eventful day. Boris has restricted gatherings to no more than 6 people and will use ‘Covid Marshalls’ to police this. It’s causing a stir amongst the online community. I have set up accounts with Gurushots and Picfair to showcase my snaps. The latter offers the opportunity to sell them. I watched Anchorman 2. It was pretty good. I also postd on the Oundle chatter group about walking in front of a car the other day - the driver, a yound lady, was enchanting the way she just smiled and let me pass - I used it as an opportunity to ask about George Higgins saving a child from near death at the hands of a lorry, the post about which has disappeared.

Day 173: Lots have seen my post re: my car incident but the bait hasn’t been taken.

Sarah Haines made a nice comment about my photo posts on the Oundle Chatter group also saying that she doesn’t know me but, it turns out she does. She is James Watson’s ex from when I first moved to Oundle so we caught up on Messenger.

Rachel Harris posted a meme slating Boris about the fact we were all encouraged to go out and about (inclding the Eat Out to Help Out scheme) and now we are being sent back to ‘our room’. Some of the comments continue to slate the government. I couldn’t resist commenting that, had the royal ‘we’ maintined social distancing and remembered there’s a fucking pandemic, perhaps we might not be under impending severe lockdown, as it now looks like. I also mentioned photos I have seen (one posted by Rach herslf) whereby you could be mistaken for thinking that there isn’t a pandemic. I have finished the comment with a line about we can only blame ourselves, not the hapless government! I wonder what reaction that will get!

Day 174: Scales were delivered today. If they are accurate I am a little over 11 stones, from 12st 7lbs before lockdown. Can’t quite believe it. I have a yearly diabetic review with Lynne in October so i can check then. If the scales are wrong, I’ll be livid on 2 scores!

Friday night beers as I type. Been looking forward to them since last Saturday!

Day 175: I do not trust the new scales. I get a different reading each time I step on them and by 10-12 lbs. Fucking things. Boots arrived today - they’re going back as well. Footy season started today. Posh lost away to Acrrington Stanley. “Who are they?”

Day 176: The GP was reflagged again today (a new track at Tuscany. A red flag two races on the trot is most unusual. Hamilton won.

Day 177: I managed to get the scales working. I’m pretty much the same weight I was prior to ld (about 12.5 st). This leads me to believe that if I wasn’t doing all the walking I am, I would be as fat as a fucking house. On that note, Google Fit is playing up. It loses the step and heart point count for each walk (although the workouts retain the route map info) Wtf?

I think K and TTP might be a thing from a post I saw on FB whereby some chap (who I don’t know) commented on TTP’s post that it was nice to see him and K. Kinda gutted if it is true but I shouldn’t be. That’s all I will say on here.

Day 178: Jim contacted me today to let me know he’s leaving RCI. He was quite secretive about why and what’s going on but, there it is. He went on to say that HR will be contacting me shortly to call me back from furlough. Sueanne is taking over as team leader but that’s temporary. and that they will most likely promote from within. I struggling to think what it would be like if Mark was boss! The way RCI are and how disjointed it is with Jim as boss, I shan’t take it as read until HR do contact me. Also, I dunno how I feel about it...I have got so used to not working. But, and it’s a big but, I doubt I’ll have a job after the retention scheme finishes so, if this does pan out, it’s good. I’ll be back to job hunting while in a job, as per before the pandemic.

Also, I received an email letting me know the punishment for my speeding offence was 6 points and a £233 fine, plus costs (£90) and victim support (£34), £357 in total. More than I expected. But, no ban, so I’ll suck it up.

Day 179: Having midweek beers. I'm in that sort of mood.

Day 180: I WhatsApp’d Jim to let him know HR haven’t contacted me. His garbled response went from telling to give them a shout and let them know he is leaving, to which I asked ‘don’t they know?’, he then said hold fire (on Sueanne’s instruction) and she has said for me to sit tight and then, finally, that HR will contact me! Fuck knows what’s going on! I had a diabetic review with Lynne today. When you go to the surgery you have to let in, which I was by Keren. It was nice to see and chat with her. She is back with Ronnie which was news to me. Then Lynne came and got me. It was nice to see and chat with her also. She weighed me and I’m 12st 3lb. Apparently in Jan last year I was over 13st!

#diary #Tumblr diary #lockdown #covid19 #lockdownuk

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eldritchsurveys · 4 years

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804.

1. When was the last time you swam in a pool? >> The last time I was in a pool was probably over 5 years ago, at Easton Mountain. I’m not fond of the way pool water smells. 2. Do you like to party? >> I like gatherings, and get-togethers, and barbecues, and casual social events at someone’s house with food and booze and games. I don’t really care for anything more hectic than that. 3. If your ex suddenly kissed you right now, what would you do? >> --- 4. Are you a virgin? >> No. 5. What are your parents views on your relationships? >> There could never be a relationship that my father would have approved of.

6. If you ran into your current boyfriend/crush in 10 years, would you marry them? >> --- 7. Is your best friend dating anyone? >> --- 8. Describe the shirt you’re wearing? >> It’s black and has the design from the Endless Night Vampire Ball of 2019 on it. 9. Do people who wear Hollister and Abrerbrombie every day bother you? >> Why would that bother me? 10. Could you go out in public without wearing make-up? >> Of course, I do it all the time. 11. What is one feature that you don’t like? >> --- 12. Would people describe you as happy? >> I don’t know how people would describe me. It’s not like I make a habit of asking, and most people don’t make a habit of volunteering that information out of the blue. 13. Are you single? >> No. 14. Does it bother you that pretty much every survey you take asks if you’re single? >> Eh, whatever. For some reason, romantic relationships are of the most pressing importance to a lot of people, and I’ve gotten used to it. 15. Do you have Tumblr? >> Heh. Wouldn’t you like to know.

16. What about Xanga? >> Damn.... RIP. 17. Have you ever babysat before? >> Nope. 18. Is there a teacher who you absolutely hate? >> Well, no, I’m not even in school. 19. Ever shopped at Sephora? >> Yeah, many times. 20. If your current boyfriend/crush suddenly moved away, what would you do? >> The thing about having a spouse whomst you live with is that this kind of thing is way less likely to happen. 21. Do you have any university plans? >> No. 22. If your best friend revealed she was a homosexual, what would you do? >> --- 23. What are your views on sex? >> I don’t have “views” on sex. That’s such a broad question, lmao... 24. Do sexual questions bother you? >> Nah. 25. Would you rather have sex with your boyfriend or break up? >> Wh.................. 26. Have you ever dreamed about your wedding? >> Nah, I was never much into the idea of having a wedding. And then I had one, so you know. Life is like that. 27. Does it bother you when people TYpe 1yk dis’? >> I haven’t seen anyone type like that in almost a decade. The world has moved on. 28. Do you delete pictures of you and your exes off of Facebook? >> --- 29. Would you ever date a friends Ex? >> This is one of those situations that I just can’t at all imagine myself navigating. 30. What’s the last book you read? >> The last book I finished was The King in Yellow. That’s going to be my answer for a while, because the book I’m (re-)reading right now is fucking long. 31. Ready for 10 simple questions? >> Nope. 32. What is your last name? >> Hmm. 33. What grade are you in? >> I’m not in a grade. 34. What school do you go to? >> --- 35. Summer, Fall, Winter or Spring? >> Spring. 36. Favorite Color? >> Gold. 37. Are your parents together? >> No. 38. Any siblings? >> Not worth mention. 39. Favorite subject? >> I don’t have a favourite subject.

40. Least favorite subject? >> Or a least favourite subject. 41. Favorite song? >> People who can choose one favourite song are cryptids. 42. Okay. Simple questions are over. Happy? >> Hopefully I can stop giving such simple answers, too. 43. How many friends do you have on Facebook? >> Thirteen. 44. Ever been requested by some old guy from another country? >> Nope. 45. Have you ever googled yourself? >> Yeah. It’d be a lot harder to google myself now, because I have a fictional character’s name. 46. Have a Formspring? >> Well, no, considering that site is defunct. 47. You’re offered free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert. What do you do? >> Tell whoever it is to give the tickets to someone else? I’m completely uninterested in Justin Bieber. 48. Would you rather spend the day at an amusement park or a water park? >> Amusement park, if I must. 49. Been to Disney world? >> No. 50. If someone posts their status “9 Inches :(” do you know what they mean? >> No. 51. Ever had a boyfriend? >> Yes.

52. Ever had a huge crush on someone who still doesn’t know? >> I don’t know, maybe. 53. Have you done something in the last week that you regret? >> No. 54. Ever drank alcohol? >> Certainly. 55. Know anyone who’s currently doing drugs? >> Sure. 56. Ever watched The Hills? >> No. 57. What about Jersey Shore? >> No. 58. Ever called someone a slut? >> Not seriously. I’ve said it in a joking way to friends who appreciate that sort of banter. 59. What do you think of short shorts? >> I don’t want to wear them. 60. Does it bother you if people swear around you? >> Of course not. 61. Have you ever gotten an A in a subject? >> Yes. 62. What about a B? >> Argh..... yes to all. NEXT 63. And a C? 64. How about a D? 65. Ever skived? >> I don’t know what that is. 66. Would you consider yourself popular and outcast or somewhere in the middle? >> These dynamics don’t really apply to adult life... well, not in my experience. Maybe if I had a more structured social life? 67. Are most of your friends older or younger than you? >> --- 68. Ever been stabbed in the back by a close friend? >> Nah. 69. Do you think it’s immature when people laugh at the number 69? >> I don’t make any judgements about it. 70. Ever watched porn? >> Yep. 71. How many laws do you think you’ve broken in the past month? >> I don’t think I’ve broken any, considering I barely even go outside except to take walks. 72. Do you wake up with an alarm clock? >> No. 73. Do you prefer Wednesdays or Thursdays? >> All days of the week are pretty much interchangeable to me. 74. If your school had a Glee Club would you join? >> --- 75. Ever performed in a talent show? >> Probably. I don’t remember. 76. Have you ever cried in public? >> Yeah. I used to be homeless in a metropolis, privacy wasn’t something I had access to. Guess that might be part of why I’m so big on it now. 77. Do you have a favorite between your Mom and your Dad? >> --- 78. Would you audition for a reality talent competition? >> Fuck no. 79. How many celebrity crushes have you had? >> *shrug* 80. How many non-celebrity crushes have you had? >> *shrug* 81. Name 5 male celebrities who you think are attractive. >> Matthew McConaughey, Peter Mensah, Jeremy Irons, Denzel Washington, Oscar Isaac. 82. Name 5 female celebrities who you think are attractive. >> Sandra Oh, Aisha Hinds, Normani Kordei, Gillian Anderson, Helen Mirren. 83. Ever been compared to a celebrity? >> Yeah, a couple of times. 84. Have any embarrassing pictures on Facebook? >> I only have one photo of myself on facebook. 85. Do you think spending £20 on Lip Gloss is a waste of money? >> It’s not a waste of money for whoever buys it. That person just wouldn’t be me, I have no interest in lip gloss. 86. Are you opinionated? >> Not especially. 87. Do you have a favorite store? >> Nope. 88. Would you ever wear Flare Jeans? >> I did when I was younger, but I doubt I’d be into them now. 89. Do you own jeans that aren’t skinny? >> No. I can’t really fit into any jeans that aren’t stretchy (and the stretchy ones are usually skinny jeans). 90. Have you ever worn the same outfit twice in one week? >> Many times. 91. What’s the longest period of time you’ve been away from school? >> A couple of months, when I was in the psych ward. 92. Do you google abbreviations you don’t understand? >> Yeah. I google almost anything I don’t understand, unless I just have zero interest in understanding. 93. Does it bother you when people have cats as their profile picture? >> Why... would that bother me... 94. Own a pair of converse? >> Nope. I can’t wear any shoe without arch support. 95. Is there a teacher at your school who has obvious favorites? >> --- 96. If yes, are you one of them? >> --- 97. Do you text in class? >> --- 98. What brand of jeans do you wear the most? >> The only pairs of jeans I have are from Old Navy. 99. At what point do you think sizes are “Plus Sized?” >> I don’t know what sizes are plus-sized and I’m not interested in finding out right now. 100. Do you want to lose weight? >> Yes. 101. Ever seen a therapist? >> Yes. 102. Ever watched porn? >> This is a repeat question and I would delete it if the questions weren’t numbered. 103. Ever purposely ignored a text? >> Yeah. 104. A facebook message? >> Yeah. 105. A poke? >> God, when did they finally get rid of those? I haven’t heard about pokes in years. 106. A friend request? >> Yeah. 107. Would you say you read into things too much? >> I don’t know if I read into things too much or not. 108. Is your best friend more likely to be the one suggesting something stupid or refusing to do something stupid? >> --- 109. Do you have a “fun friend?” (A friend who you have tons of fun with but you never really have deep conversations?) >> No. 110. Ever been called a bully? >> No. 111. Ever purposely hurt yourself? >> Many times. 112. Ever gone to church? >> Many times. I think I’ve gotten the gist of it by now. 113. Would you call either of your parents screw ups? >> One of them was certainly a screw-up in caring for their child... 114. If you turned out exactly like your mom would you be pleased? >> Absolutely not, considering that’s the parent I was talking about in the previous question. 115. What do you want to do with your life? >> I don’t have any specific goals for my life. I’m pretty content just living it.

116. Let me guess… You have brown hair? >> Yeah. 117. Already know what you’re being for Halloween? >> I don’t know if I’m ever going to get to dress up for Halloween. We’ll see. 118. Do you still go Trick or Treating? >> I’ve never been and I am way too old for it now. 119. Ever liked someone WAY older than you? >> Like 80% of the celebrities I named in those two questions about attractive celebrities are way older than me. 120. Does it bother you when people have really loud conversations on the bus? >> Only when I don’t have my headphones with me, which is... just about never. I know I have sensory issues, so I come prepared. 121. When you have sunglasses on, do you stare at people? >> Fuck no. 122. Ever had a credit card denied? >> Yeah. 123. What’s the last movie you watched? >> The Lovebirds. 124. Last TV Show? >> Patriot Act. 125. You see your Ex making out with one of your friends. What do you do? >> I can’t imagine this being bothersome to me. Or even significant, honestly. 126. Ever been called a whore? >> No. 127. Are you american? >> Yeah. 128. Ever made yourself throw up? >> Yeah. 129. Have you ever kissed someone who wasn’t your boyfriend? >> Yeah. 130. Are you Cute or Gross? >> What...??? 131. Does it bother you when people say “LOOK HOW MUCH YOU’VE GROWN!”? >> It would bother me if that was a situation I’d ever find myself in. 132. Can you say intelligent things around the guy you like? >> --- 133. Ever had the lead in a play? >> Nope. 134. What about a solo in a concert? >> Nope. 135. What kind of a student are you? >> I’m not a student. 136. Worst subject? >> --- 137. Best subject? >> --- 138. Ever had a crush on a teacher? >> Something like that. 139. Would it bother you if you found out that your mother was pregnant? >> --- 140. How late do you sleep in? >> 9a seems to be my limit. 141. Do you edit your profile pictures before posting them? >> --- 142. Be 100% honest. Do you have any friends who are uglier than you? >> This is so fucking rude. 143. Do you believe in love? >> Yawn. 144. Would you consider yourself a good student? >> --- 145. Does it bother you when Surveys ask “Did you like this survey?” >> Not really, I usually just delete that question because, like... the survey-maker is definitely not going to see it, so what’s the point. 146. Salty, Sweet, Sour or Spicy? >> Salty + sweet, spicy + sweet, spicy + salty, or any of them alone except for sweet. 147. Are you going into High School this year? >> Fuck no lmao 148. What about Junior High? >> Double fuck no lmao 149. What is one thing someone could say to you right now that would make you cry? >> I don’t know, man. That’s usually contextual, anyway. 150. Where did you find this note? >> I got this survey from another survey-taker on tumblr. 151. Last question. How many unread messages are in your phone? >> Zero.

#surveys #survey #random survey #some surveys just don't need to be as long as they are #question quality is in the gutter

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screw-real-life-i-pick-fandoms · 5 years

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The Past Comes Back (Johnathan Pine x Reader) (Multi-Shot)

Chapter Two

Part 2/3

Words: 1,965

AN: This is part two of The Past Comes Back! Part One can be found here and Part Three can be found here.

I hope you guys like it. Sorry, I posted it twice! The link wasn’t working so I had to re-upload it.

Warnings: Angst, violence, torcher, language, blood. Like there is going to be some heavy whump level shit in this one guys. I got some of my ideas from going through whump prompts on Tumblr.

(Johnathan's POV)

The look on her face before she left broke my heart, and I hated that I was the one who made her cry. How could I have forgotten our anniversary? If I had just checked one of her texts or called her back...

I ran after Y/N into the pouring rain but didn't see her anywhere.

"You really fucked up this time, Johnathan," I said to myself as I walked to my car. "How could you say those things to Y/N?"

I walked back to where my car was parked and opened the driver's side door and sat down, looking out the windshield as the raindrops slid down it.

I didn't mean to ignore Y/N today, I just needed my space. For the past two weeks, she was always around me or trying to call or text me. I never meant to hurt her, but it happened.

The way her eyes filled with sadness when I said she was being clingy, the way her mood changed when I yelled at her. I loathed myself for saying those things to her, for making her feel like I didn't want her around.

The day I asked her to be my girlfriend, I promised I would never hurt her, and here it was on our two-year anniversary and I not only forgot, but I also yelled at her and drove her away.

I had hurt her.

I drove to our shared house, wanting to get home so I could make things right with Y/N. I pulled in the driveway and noticed that none of the lights in the house were on, not even the light over the front door that Y/N always turned on for me when she came home before I did.

I quickly got out of the car and ran to the door. It was locked so I gave a few quick knocks but there was no answer.

"Love," I called out, letting her know it was me. I waited but there was no reply. "Y/N? Are you in there? I am so sorry about what I said, please let me in and we can talk."

Still nothing, so I got out my key and opened the door. The first thing that attracted my attention was that her shoes were not by the door, also her bag was not on the counter either.

"Y/N?" I called out, getting a bit worried now. "Y/N, please if you are here, just say something."

I walked around the house and there was still no sign of her, and I knew she wasn't here. I was growing more worried by the moment, but I tried to calm myself down. Maybe she walked slower than usual, maybe she took a different way home. Whatever the reason, I wanted to go out and find her, it was dark and stormy, something could happen to her, and I also wanted to apologize as soon as I could.

I ran out the door and began my search, calling out her name as I ran. I turned the corner and, in my haste, tripped over something laying on the ground. I looked down and my stomach churned, it was Y/N's bag.

"Y/N!" I called out louder and picked up her bag. "Y/N, where are you?"

I didn't know what to do, all I knew was that I needed to find Y/N. There was one person who I could think of to help. I pulled out my phone and dialed the number.

"Angela?" I asked as soon as I heard her pick up. "Angela, she is gone. I don't know what to do, she is gone!"

"Slow down, Johnathan," She said trying to calm me down. "Who is gone, Johnathan?"

"Y/N," I said trying to keep it together. "She is gone! We got into a fight and she walked home, but when I got back, she wasn't there. I went out to look for her, and I just found her bag on the ground."

"Johnathan," She said her voice turning deadly serious. "Did you see anyone who looked like they were following her? Was anything out of the ordinary?"

"No," I said disoriented. "Yes, no, god I don't know. She had been acting different for the past two weeks, but that's about it."

"Acting different how?" Angela asked.

"She was acting, and I hate to say it like this, clingy," I cringed as I said the word. "She would not leave my side if we were together, and if we weren't, she was constantly calling and texting. She normally isn't like that, but two weeks ago she started acting like that."

"Johnathan," She began, keeping an even tone, but I could tell she was starting to get worried herself. "Please tell me she told you about the letter."

"What letter?" I asked my concern growing.

"Shit," She said under her breath. "Why does Y/N always insist on doing things herself? Look, Johnathan, I need you to come in right now. I will explain everything when you get here."

She hung up and fear filled my whole body. What did Angela about a letter? What was going on? What happened to Y/N?

*Time Skip*

(Johnathan's POV)

I didn't even have both my feet in the door before Angela grabbed my arm and pulled me to her office.

"Angela," I began as she sat down in front of her computer. "What the hell is going on?"

"You know how Y/N was one of our agents before you met her right?" She asked.

"Yes," I said. "She was one of the best, so I am told.

"That she was," Angela said as she typed on her computer. "Her last mission is still not a fully open topic, but you need to know what's going on. In short, Y/N was sent in undercover to bust an international human trafficking group. After six months, we had enough to bring them down, and so we did. We saved one-hundred and forty-three woman and arrested all sixty of the operatives, or so we thought. Y/N told us that one had gotten through us, his name is Flint Garth. She went into hiding for a while and when she came back, she retired. Everything seemed fine, but two weeks ago that all changed."

"What happened?" I asked.

"Two weeks ago," She began. "Y/N received a letter from Flint, and I told her to keep a wary eye out."

"Why didn't she tell me any of this?" I asked getting angry and worried at the same time.

"Well, she wasn't able to talk about the mission," Angela said. "And quite frankly, with the things she went through and saw during her time there I don't blame her for not want even mentioning it. The letter, I have no idea. I honestly thought you knew."

So that was it, that's why she was acting so clingy. She was worried about me, and I snapped at her for it.

"I'm such an ass," I said quietly. "Why didn't I just ask her?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" Angela asked me.

"When we had our fight," I said looking at the floor. "It started because I had forgotten our date, in fact, I had forgotten it was our anniversary. She was upset but what really seemed to bother her what the fact that I didn't answer any of her calls or texts. I snapped at her, said she was suffocating me and being clingy. She ran out the door, I should have followed her. Hell, I shouldn't have yelled at her. It's my fault this has happened, oh god, it's all my fault."

"Johnathan!" Angela yelled, bringing me back to reality. "It's not your fault! You are right about being an ass, but this is NOT your fault. Right now, we need to focus on getting Y/N back."

*Time Skip*

(Y/N's POV)

I woke up to pain all over my body, and I could feel something like rope or wire cutting into my wrists and ankles, strapping me to a chair. I could also feel rough fabric tied tightly around my mouth and eyes. I tried to get out of my restraints, but if I so much as moved slightly, they would cut deeper into my skin, and I could already feel blood.

"Good," I heard Flint's deep voice say from my right. "You are awake. Now the fun can begin. You know, when you and all your little agent friends busted our operation, it caused a lot of problems. I myself had to watch my back for a few months, making sure our angry buyers wouldn't come looking for me. I always said I get back at you, and here we are. "

I could hear his footsteps getting closer to me, along with the familiar buzzing crackle of a shock stick. I remembered that sound very well, it was one of the many horrible things they would use on the girls who disobeyed.

"Ah," He said. "So, you do remember this. You know, this was never my favorite thing to use, I prefer making them suffer more, but I guess this is a good way to start.

A few moments later, I felt violent jolts of electricity course through my body. My entire body jerked back and forth, causing the ropes strapping me to the chair to dig even deeper into my skin. I screamed, but the gag around my mouth muffled the sound.

After what seemed like forever, he removed the shock stick from my side and I let out a strained breath.

"I hope you are not getting too comfortable, dear," Flint said and roughly grabbed me by the neck. "We are just getting started."

He pulled his hand away and I could hear some kind of liquid sloshing. Then I was drenched with freezing water. My body tensed at the sudden cold feeling, and I could hear Flint let out a quiet laugh.

Flint did always seem to find pleaser in punishing the girls, he would do all kinds of terrible things to them, and I was honestly scared by what his mind came up with back then, and what he would do to me now.

Then he placed the sick on my side again, this time pushing the wet fabric of my shirt to the side so it would come in direct contact with my skin. The combination of it being on my skin and the cold water conducting it made the pain so much worse. I struggled against my bonds so much that the chair I was strapped to almost fell over onto its side.

"You might want to be careful," Flint said in a mocking tone. "I'm sure the floor isn't that comfortable."

He would move the shocker up and down my sides, pushing it into my skin as he went. I screamed until my voice went hoarse, but I knew no one but Flint could hear the muffled sounds of my cries.

"Well," Flint said after what must have been hours of shocking. "I am going to take my leave for the night. The real fun will begin tomorrow."

I felt relieved that at least, for the time being, I wouldn't have to endure anything else, and could think about how to get out of this situation. He removed the shock stick from my body and I could feel myself slump in relief when I heard his footsteps walking away from me.

"Oh my," He said and I grew nervous at his tone. "You think I am just going to leave you like that? How cute."

I heard him pick something up off of what I assumed was a table and walk back over to me. He lifted the fabric of my shirt once more and I felt him wrap something around my lower torso, and then he slipped the shock stick into the strap so it stayed in place on my side.

I struggled once more against the constant burning of the shocker.

"That will do nicely," He said and this time when I heard him walk away, he didn't come back. "See you tomorrow."

I heard the sounds of a metal door opening and then slamming shut. After he left, the only sounds I could hear were the electric sounds of the shock stick and my muffled screams of pain.

*Time Skip*

(Y/N's POV)

It had been at least a week since Flint had captured me, but I started to lose count of the days after about five. I hadn't slept once in the time I had been here. Even if I would pass out from the pain, Flint would wake me up so he could continue his torcher on me.

I was now only in my bra and underwear, my entire body covered in burses, cuts, burns, and bloody gashes.

When my mind was clouded from the pain I would call out for Johnathan, even though I knew he couldn't hear me. I missed him so much, and what I wouldn't give for him to bust open that huge door and embrace me in his strong arms.

"You know he is not coming right?" Flint said after I had called out for Johnathan for probably around the hundredth time.

Today was the first time Flint had removed the blindfold and gag, and I was able to see my surroundings. I was in a square room that was probably fifteen feet in length, width, and height. One huge metal door that had a small barred window in it. The only light was a bulb that hung from the ceiling above us. To my left, there was a table covered in knives, stakes, strange liquids and other things he would use on me.

He would change his meatheads whenever he felt like it, and now was one of the most painful I had been through so far. He had used one of the smaller knives to slice up my hands and feet, and then he placed them in bowls as alcohol.

It stung so much, and I tried to pull them from the bowls but Flint tightened my restraints so I couldn't. I struggled and screamed, my cries of pain echoing off the metal walls of the room. New blood rolled over the older dried blood on my wrists and ankles from my struggling. After a few hours, my hands and feet went numb and I couldn't tell if it was from the pain or how tight my bonds were.

"Why would he come?" Flint asked as I continued to whimper out in pain, not being able to scream anymore. "I mean, it seems like he doesn't really want anything to do with you anymore. At least that what it seemed like when he forgot your anniversary and pushed you away saying you were suffocating him with your presence. I wouldn't be surprised if he was glad to have you gone, one less problem to worry about."

At first, I believed him but I quickly pushed those thoughts aside, Johnathan still cared about me. Right?

"But if you want to see him that badly," Flint began, twisting a knife in his hands as he smirked at me. "I could bring him here."

I jolted forward as much as I could and let out a growl.

"I swear to god if you hurt him!" I spat at him, venom dripping from my voice. I tried to keep the pain in my voice hidden, but it still came out a bit shaky "Don't you dare lay a hand on him you sick son of a bitch!"

He came over to me and gave me a swift hard slap on the cheek, and I could test the blood in my mouth.

"Watch your mouth!" He yelled and I flinched. "You wouldn't want me to get the gag again, would you?"

*Time Skip*

(Johnathan's POV)

I had barely got any sleep the past two weeks, and only eat when I had to. Y/N was out there, going through god knows what, and we were still no closer to finding her then we were two weeks ago.

We needed to find her. I needed to hold her in my arms and tell her I love her, and that I was sorry. I needed to let her know she was the most important thing in my life. I needed her to be safe.

"Anything yet?" I asked running my hands through my hair.

"I am going to try something new," Angela said typing something in on her computer. "We have a few leads on where he could be, we have been trying to find him for months now. Before you walked in, I had just gotten off the phone with Scotland Yard and they thought they might have a lead on a fake name he could be going by now."

"Really?" I asked, hope in my voice.

"They have been tracking the accounts of a Peter Dune," She said and I could see her eyes reading wherever was on the screen. "He first caught their attention when he bought a large number of chemicals in bulk online from an under the table dealer. He has two addresses, the first is a small one-room flat in the city, the second is an old abandoned lot a few miles outside of the city."

"Well then," I said already walking to the door. "What the hell are we waiting for? Let's go get him."

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