#IM SAD MAKE ME SADDER

[henrysfedora]

hi it's almost 4am and i have been sitting in silence for the past three hours and anyway i need to ramble about vito and his tragic war time okay

idk, it hit me after watching a war movie just a couple hours earlier how really tragic it must've been for vito. like firstly he's a paratrooper- this bitch flew into the warzone by plane, which is already a loud thundering piece of metal in the sky, this bitch also jumped out of a plane thousands of feet in the air into the muddy warzone below. you know the loud explosions, gunshots constantly going off around him, tanks, fighters, flamethrowers, stukas, like yeah i really believe those headcanons about vito having hearing damage and selective hearing. the moments vito would've been pinned down behind something with bullets constantly flying around him, explosions going off, mud hitting him, stone hitting him, blood hitting him, jesus christ how many tanks nearly ran him over.

this sounds so rude but i kind of wish we got to see how vito was affected by the war more throughout the game because we really only see his scars and from what we can only assume his change in behaviour and personality. how did an eighteen year old, twenty when he finally gets out (which is still fucking YOUNG) just seem to brush it off? and i only say this because 2K did JACK. we the fans have thought about a lot but in game vito's just, sad and scarred... bitch let me see the horrifying trauma he faces, let me see his nightmares, give me joe feeling guilty, give henry another reason to realise what vito's been through and how young he really is. make henry feel worse about lying to vito and bringing him in on the drug deal and causing him to go through another big shootout. make vito a little deaf, is he nervous when everyone always expects the best from him when it comes to firearms?

did vito ever have to hold a dying brother out on the field? how many times did he see someone lose a limb, or have their head shot off, or their stomachs torn open, or hear them cry for their mother, or see them bleeding profusely on the ground, how much time did he really spend driving jeeps.

like i think vito would especially be terrified of things with buildup, the sound of tanks eventually getting closer, the astronomical speed of planes that were quiet two seconds ago but now ear-shattering, especially stukas i feel like vito would be terrified of stukas those things are scary, they just keep getting closer and closer and louder and louder.

and how scared shitless was vito when he got shot? blood starts going fucking everywhere, instantly, like was he thinking about joe when he was trying as hard as he could to put pressure on his wound? was he convinced he was going to die? did he think about his mother, his father, francesca, and joe?? all of them? only joe? was he content or did he feel like he hadn't done enough in life yet? did he call out for his mother or did he just lay there quietly? how many friends did he have in the army, how many died right in front of him, how many left him alone, how many sacrificed themselves for him, how many helped him. how guilty did he feel when they saved him but they died after doing so, how guilty did he feel when he couldn't reach someone in time. he's always had it in him to be giving but is this a big contributor to why he'd sacrifice himself for his friends in a heartbeat because the guilt would be too heavy for him to handle if he couldn't save joe or henry.

LIKE JUST BREAKDOWN VITO and for gods sake someone give him a hug

like i know vito's our badass protagonist but did he really not cry while out in service? is it really not this bad was he having a good ole time driving his jeep around or what WELL WE'LL NEVER KNOW WILL WE 2K

[scrimblospectrumdisorder]

unironically one of the most fucked up endings to any manga ever i literally cried for like 30 minutes when I first reached the last few chapters of this

[honeydots]

join me in thinking abt 14 y/o inigo crying into his pillow and listening to breakeven by the script on repeat bc his three week girlfriend broke up with him

[extraordinarilyextreme]

for my own sanity, i'm transcribing ZSX's goodbye video monologue for FDB:

去岁初夏逢君盛 今朝花落梦方醒 故事到此收笔 但人生还长 江湖路远 意气江湖正道安 风华正茂是少年 愿将来的方小包 经历风雨 不忘少年初心 走遍人间 仍有他路可寻 山高水长见日光 始终不忘少年样 前路存知己 江湖有相逢 于道各努力 千里自同风 方多病 希望你不服众望 成为下一个传奇

XSY's was much simpler (both he and CY pretty much just used their lines from the show; only ZSX spoke so much. and as c-netz pointed out, this truly is ZSX! the voice he gave FDB sounds different).

anyway, XSY's goodbye to DFS:

“一个剑客不该有弱点。” "A swordsman shouldn't have any weaknesses." “此生只有一愿，就是赢他。” "In this life, I have only one wish, which is to win him in a fight." 老笛，笛飞声。愿来世你能得偿所愿。 Lao Di, Di Feisheng. I hope, come the next life, all your wishes will come true.

and then CY's goodbye to LXY and LLH:

“去去重去去，来时是来时。” "What is meant to go, will go. What is meant to come, will come." “这人生嘛，本处处都是遗憾。” "In this life, intrinsically, regrets may be found everywhere." “十年了，没有什么放不下的，也更没有什么解不开的结。” "Ten years have passed. There's not much that cannot be set down, not to mention any knots that cannot be untied." 李相夷，李莲花。江湖一程，有幸相逢。再见了。 Li Xiangyi, Li Lianhua. You ventured into the jianghu. If we are lucky, we'll meet again. Goodbye for now.

and at the end of all their videos, the text read:

江湖别处有相逢，杯酒一盏此君行。 Elsewhere in the jianghu, we'll reunite. With this small cup of wine, I bid you farewell and send you off.

[mxwhore]

mutuals. i am getting caught in my own bitterness again...

[g3othermal3scapism]

i wanted to draw some stuff from @troybarnesbabygirlconfirmed fics bcs i love rhem so much they make me want to rip my hair out /pos 🫡 i was gonna do way more but i reread “me and a hundred square feet of bittersweet memories” nd got rwally sad instead

[perexcri]

happy one year to her and one of my better opening lines for a fic <3

now, because i'm curious:

[ardenrabbit]

Hello! Sending good vibes🌸🌸🌸

Ahh thank you!!! 💕 Good vibes to you too! 🌼🪻🪷

[sparring-spirals]

laudna is projecting so hard onto pate right now. she yelled at him for being too loud, too jovial, made a comment on the ship "he's fine, he's already dead"

i'm worried for her and i need someone to talk to her like asap

There's definitely all the standard part and parcel heartbreak of the Laudna Paté parallels, esp as she tries to navigate the concept of her own freedom and self worth paralleled with Paté. But tbh I also find her behaviour vaguely....encouraging? Watching her interactions with Paté definitely provides some concerning insights into her own self image and like. Hoo Boy. But I kind of enjoy it the same way Laudna being caustic towards Ashton in the early 30s episodes made me sit up in my seat.

Laudna is, generally, polite, if mildly unnerving, and deeply concerned about inconveniencing people. Especially now, wracked with guilt over being a burden and causing issues, the way she's been shrinking back in conversations, curling in on herself, apologizing, being unsure, being quiet.

(And it is. Devastating.)

It also makes her attitude towards Paté that much more noticeable. It comes off as maybe callous, maybe a little demanding, presumptuous, almost. It also speaks to a kind of comfort, I think- familiarity and a confidence in your tie to the other party.

Whether that comfort comes from thinking of him as unimportant- only a puppet, only an animation and extension of dead bones, unowrthy of care, not necessary to worry about, easy to demean (just like her). Or because she is confident in her and Paté- in that he was her oldest friend, still is. That he's seen her at her worst and weakest and stays consistent and will continue to do so, and that she knows where she stands, with him.

Or most likely, both. Maybe some mix of fear of this new unknown coming out as sharpness and condescension. Maybe a horrific mirror, or a familiar presence. Point being: I think her attitude towards Paté remains devastating as all the parallels always did but- there's something heartening about it, too, yknow?

(Anyway, as an eternal fan of Conversations I will say that the Bell's Hells did talk to her a bit! and future convos might take a bit more time, and maybe with Laudna's initiative. We'll see. Get that gal some Extra Support tho, and some hugs perhaps. cmonnn.)

[ffflks]

media i consumed

[snaxle]

im just sick of feeling guilty for spending money 😭😭 ..

[vogelmeister]

been feeling mixed on some of my friends recently

[mrs-mikko-rantanen]

I'm gonna cry I'm gonna be sick I'm sobbing

[nataliekabra]

it's crazy how the more years pass I impossibly somehow keep finding more and more beautiful things about my relationship with my best friend. i just keep finding new layers to how magical it is and how lucky i am to have her. like how we grew up together and influenced everything about each other so much and how we both tried so hard to become better people for each other. and how we both ARE better people because of each other. there's no one single person who helped me improve as much and I'm pretty sure it's the same for her. we can read each other better than anyone can, better than we can understand our own needs sometimes. I caught onto the fact that she wasn't fine before anyone else did and it used to frustrate me so much that no one else could see but what I didn't realize was that she was the only one who realized I was a danger to myself too. even when I myself didn't. and when I was convinced nothing and nobody could get through to me, she figured out how to. even if it was painful as fuck. we both did everything to make sure the other person got better, even when it almost cost us our friendship. I genuinely thought she was out of my life for so long, but hey, we did it. we still have each other and are much better for it. she saved me. and I'll never stop being grateful for the fact that I have her in my life I'll never take it for granted I love her so much it hurts sometimes but it's so worth it. we taught each other how to have healthy, meaningful relationships and man we caused each other so much grief but it was all for the better. I love who I am because of her. I wouldn't be myself without her. she's probably the single biggest influence on the person I am today and god I love her so much

[lupismaris]

To all lonely queers, I highly recommend finding older queers and spending time with them, not doing anything significant or impactful, just being with them, shooting the shit, telling stories, sharing meals, witnessing the burden of proof that life- our lives in spite of it all can and will continue joyfully and we can and will thrive in community. There is little more healing.

[graciousdragon]

"And should I be shocked now, by the last thing you said?

Before I pull this trigger, your eyes vacant and stained

And in saying you loved me made things harder, at best..."

in other words: fuck it we ball, i drew my AU version of Showtime Dawko with a palette colorpicked from the album cover of My Chemical Romance's "I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love" because the brainrot is real 👍

am i super proud of this? eh. but i also haven't drawn digitally in literal months (thanks college) and if i'm gonna get back to it then i gotta start somewhere and i never post art anywhere so uh. i might as well now!

i still love Glitching Fates so much don't worry it is still on my mind 24/7 but unfortunately i almost never have time to dedicate to talking about it and also i am. Very Bad at putting my thoughts into words lmao

this is actually kinda lore tho. btw. lol. :]