#IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS STORY NOW I CANT WAIT TO HEAR IT IM PUMPED UP AND ITS ALL SPOONS FAULT!!!

[thesolotomyhan]

narcos méxico: first date hc

ok sooo,, I am genuinely lost haha   i also just want to say im sorry for being so slow to get content out for you lovely's and if this is trash :(,,,, and a big thank you to @fandomnerd16 for the idea! 💖 basically what does the first date include with them!  i-im just going to leave this here, let me know what you guys think so far??? 

Tags: @fandomnerd16​ , @visintaes​ , @sheeshgivemeabreak​

Ramon:

Imagining the first date with ramon and how soft it would be has me cryinggg

he cant help but show his soft kid side with you-

you’re just different, he wants to show you he’s really capable of loving and being himself for you,

and that he has a whole other side to him that he reserves and that he’s willing to wholeheartedly show you,,,

can you imagine this man taking you to a carnival/fair for your first date?

just being surrounded by food, games, rides and just pure bliss and happiness ??? yes

like,just the both of you walking around, holding hands, zero fucking awkwardness between you two as he excitedly leads you around, to each booth possible,,

he’ll tug you along to like those water gun stands or the pop the balloon stands and challenge to do competitions with you-

“Que dices? te apuesto un beso que no me ganas en la pistolas de agua, muñeca”-

like, its hella cheesy and cheap how he’s asking to kiss you but it only makes you want to beat him to have him at least work for it,,

the happy v i b es im getting has me sobbing-

just,, the way both of your laughs echo into the air because neither of you want to lose and your just so happy to be around one another right now,,,

i cant- imagine him looking over at you and giving you the most softest look in the middle of your water gun competition when you tell him he’s losing to you, i cant

he would purposely let you win more than 50 percent of the games just to see you throw your arms in the air and laugh up to him that you beat him-

the proud ass smile he gives you as he’ll like twirl you around to pump you up even more, fuck, just why

ok, so you know that one hammer strength game they have at those fairs, where you test your strength and shit, yeah ramon would immediately drag you over to one just to show off his strength and win you the big ass stuffed monkey they have for the winner,,

just- the little fucking grin he has when he hears the puck ring the bell on the first try as he looks over at you, cheering him on-

ramon winning all the giant stuffed animals for you would be his goal alright,,

Especially after the way he saw how happy you got with the monkey he won for you at the hammer strength booth,,,

just filling your overflowing arms with big ass teddy bears and tigers,, the excitement never leaving your eyes as he brings you animal after animal has his heart melting,,

omg, the thought of you and ramon acting like teenagers while feeding each other food has me soft

like, instead of eating the bag of popcorn, your both trying to throw it into each others mouths and just making a mess everywhere-

your uncontrollable laughs making it harder for you both to throw the popcorn,,,

but the cute ass celebration you both would do when you successfully catch them is everything--

i, him buying you a churro while you both just walk around and he’ll lean over to bite it when you look away to see something, so when you turn back, the churros halfway fucking gone,, you’ll playfully hit his chest as you both giggle to each other-

or you’ll both be sharing a bag of cotton candy, feeding it to one another, giving the biggest smiles you can,, i cant handle this-

the two of you end up losing so much track of time together that when the inevitable end of your date comes, your both lowkey hiding your sadness,

so ramon would pull you along to the ferris wheel just for one more adventure to end the day right-

IM SO SOFT, everything is just so calm as you lean your head on his shoulder as you both look at the carnival lights illuminating the fair

the gentle fucking kiss he’ll give you on top of your head as he pulls you closer into him, i-

Benjamin:

benjamin’s first date with you has me in my feelingss

just the way he’s pouring his soul and heart into wanting to surprise you and show you how romántico he can be, I-

he would probably invite you to his home for your first date,, where he would want to have total peace and quiet for you and him, my intimate bby 

he just wants his attention to be devoted to you, not anyone else :)

benjamin would put so much effort into the decorations too,,, snapping his fingers where all the flowers need to go, where to hang the balloons and where all the lights need to go-

ordering the chef he contracted to make your favorite food and dessert,, and even low key threatening the chef that if he fucks this up, he’s not seeing the light of tomorrow

Stress level to the max honestly, he just needs to make this perfect for you i cant-

but i know my bby is so good at time management,, he has this all done an hour before you show up, giving him time to breathe and just take in his work, adjusting any small detail he deems imperfect before changing into his clothes he bought for this specific occasion, :(

he would probably wait for you outside with some chocolatitos, all dressed up :(( , trying to stop his nerves when he sees the car he sent for you start to pull in

fuck, the big smile that he shows you when he sees you all dolled up- youre more beautiful than he remembers, my heart

“te vez radiante” as he kisses your cheek because hes a respectoso king

i see him being to fucking well mannered i cant,, he helps you get out of the car, offering his arm to lead you inside where everything is set up, helping you sit down and all that adorableness

he would be internally congratulating himself when he sees you smiling at all the decorations and the food being served in front of you-

just, him asking all about your day, sharing stories with the occasional shared laughs

him also asking if you enjoyed everything and if he needs to fix anything to your liking and just,,, the way you reach across the table to hold his hand and assure him that he went overtop for you would have him beaming heart eyes at you-

Benjamin makes this feel so fucking romantic and comfortable i cant

like you two would spend so much time talking about everything with each other even after you finish all the food,,,

fuck,, the way he’ll progressively scoot closer to you through the night, never letting go of your hand after you held it the first time-

like you both don’t even notice how close you are until your both throwing your heads back when you laugh and then looking at each other

and just that soft moment where you both stare into each other’s eyes and glance down at your lips— oohohh

the both of you just click so right, everything leads up to this point naturally,,,

You two are so fucking innocent that the first kiss would be the softest shit ever, its sincero and lleno de amor, i-

its one of those kisses that are followed by soft giggles and pecks, one after another until he pulls you into his side because he’s just overfilled with emotions-

and just the way neither of you want to leave the comfortable silence as you both glance at each other-

i cant,, in his mind he’ll be thinking yeah, this is the one, la cual con que quiero compartir mi futuro-

[pbandjesse]

Today was another excellent day. But I am way tireder then I was last night. Like it is a little hard to sit up and write this but I will power through. 

I did sleep alright last night but before bed I had another really bad nose bleed except this time I was alone, as James was asleep, and I only had 3 tissues. So I was a little upset and scared. But it was alright in the end. And I have a new tissue box now so hopefully I wont feel so stranded. 

I woke up around 8 but I stayed in bed until 830. I really wanted to keep sleeping but I knew Jess was up and I didnt want to be rude. And of course she was already dressed and looking cute. But she was doing work for her WFH job so she wasnt to bothered. I got washed up and dressed. I felt cute again today but I mostly forgot to take my picture until way late in the day. But that was alright. We were just having to much fun. 

The big plan for the day was to go squishmallow hunting. But the mall we were going to search at didnt open until 11. So we had some time to hang out. So after breakfast we started rinsing our tye dye projects. I decided Jess should go first because her's is so much lighter and I didnt want to stain her's with all my dark dye. And it was so funny hers didnt run any dye at almost at all?? Absolutely bizarre. We were using the coldest water and really trying to get in there but no dye came out. So we hung it to dry and got into mine. 

Mine was a different story. As soon as I unwrapped it from the plastic is was dripping black dye. So I pulled off the rubber bands and got to work rinsing it. It took a good ten minutes of rinsing but it honestly looked great. As it dried throughout the day the black would fade to a lovely almost grey purple. But the actual tye dyed scrunchy parts look so cool. I am super excited to share it tomorrow when we take pictures. It was a lot of fun to do and while I dont think I will like. Tye dye my whole life. It was a lot of fun to experiment with. And for our first go it was really successful. 

Once we were done that and everything was drying in the bathroom we got ready to leave. I wasnt super excited to drive, as I still felt really tired, but it was alright. Though when we got to the car I found we barely had any gas and I was annoyed about that because I hate putting gas in the car but I would do it. Even though I hate it. 

We drove out to the mall and it felt so weird to be in a mall. But there werent a lot of people. It was mostly just quiet. But it for sure felt like a blast from the past. We walked the whole mall. Talked about being mall rat teens. What we would do and play and just the culture of that time in our lives. And hoenstly it was just a good time. It was nice to walk around inside and not be cold and because we were on this funny hunt for squishes there was an element of activity and goal. 

We didnt have great luck. The claires had nothing. The hallmark had nothing. We did find some at Hot Topic though. I ended up getting a blind box one. And Jess got a couple little things. We also got a matching set of lollypop earrings I am very excited about. We got lunch in the food court. Felt very weird eating inside. I got pretzel bites. It was just. A good time at the mall. 

We were there about an hour, making our last stop at Hot Topic for the second time to make our actual purchases. And then we went to the strip mall across the road to go to starbucks. Everyone was driving stupid so I was really glad to be out of there. 

We started to head towards the closes Marshalls. And they only had a cuddler squish there. And a way to long line, so I did not buy the face wash I was going to get. We instead went to Target. We made a stop to get gas. Which was terrible only because the same thing happened as last time and the machine kept saying my zipcode was wrong and I had to go talk to the man at the counter and it was a whole thing. I hate pumping gas. But it was handled. 

Next we went to the CVS and the Walgreens to check and finding nothing good we continued on to Target. 

Target was mostly a bust. No easter friends. But we ended up finding a beautiful greyscale bunny that Jess really liked. And we decided we were done. I wanted to make one more loop around toys just and in case and while we did I remembered to stop to look in the legos to see if they had the botanical one me and James have been trying to get but keeps getting scalped for 3xs the real price. And I was so excited to find that they had it!! The bouquet of flowers!! I was so jazzed. I cant wait to build this with them and its going to be great and look so cool in our house. 

We were both a little beat by this point though. So it was time for home. 

It was a nice drive back. The sun started coming out after a really grey day. And I was happy to be home. 

We would chill for a little bit but then there were more things we wanted to do. We opened our blind boxes. I got a dragon that we think was meant to be scented like minit chocolate but just smelt. Bad. But whatever. Still cute. I like the dragons. And then we got to work on my clothes. 

I wanted to do another big purge and having moral support to talk things out was exactly what I needed. So Jess helped me make piles of everything I own and make hard calls for each piece. I was a little more brutal then I expected but honestly I had purged my clothes in december and I sort of knew what ones that if I didnt wear in the last 2 months were going to get the axe. So it was only hard at some points. And I was really excited that everything I wanted to fit in the trunk for seasonal pieces and my closet isnt to full anymore. Two bags of clothes to donate and Im just really happy about that. And before that Jess tried on some that she liked from the get rid of pile and took some and that made me feel really happy too. Im glad they will get a second life. 

We would spend more time in my room trying on ren fair costume stuff. And spent way to long trying to relace a corset thats a little to big for me. But it was honestly a lot of fun. We were just very tired at the end. 

James had a performance review during that time that we got to hear and I got to be all proud about how well they are doing. And then James would go on a bike ride after work before picking us all up dinner. Because I have the best partner. 

While James was gone me and Jess would be on the couch playing a little animal crossing. Being sleepy. When food did come I was really upset that both our orders were missing pieces and I was trying very hard not to have a breakdown over something stupid. But Jess gave me some of hers that I was missing and we made due. I was just a little sad. 

Dinner was nice though. And we all just sat together doing little crafts and enjoying the company. 

And we still have tomorrow. The plan is to do some photoshoots and make a little painting project together. I hope to sleep better tonight though. Im going to go take a shower and get cozy and try to get to bed earlier. Wish me luck. Goodnight everyone! Wash your hands!

[kinktae]

holy crap!! I just noticed y/n’s family in bitchin is like stranger things !!!! I love that sm omg love it so far btw ♡

YESSSS thank u for noticing!! I have a lot of fun with writing bitchin i do hehe

(warning: literal 80 asks under the cut)

Anonymous said: not @ me reading bitchin’ during math literally SLAMMING YHE DESK

crystalsnowd said: I LOVED BITCHINNNN OMG UR SO TALENTED I CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT PART

Anonymous said: I was going to stay up to wait for Bitchin but I went to sleep instead because today is my first day of school (second year of university) so I decided to get sleep while I still could. Also I read the update on the train sitting next to a random lady and I really hope she didn’t look over at my phone lol. I loved the update and I can’t wait for the rest of the series!!!

Anonymous said: OMG BITCHIN WAS SO GOOD! You're such an amazing writer!!!

jun-sohyunnie-dotnet said: Just an fyi, bitchin' jk is my FAVORITE jk I've ever had the pleasure of reading. Ever. He could stomp all over me and I'd thank him profusely. (And you're writing is absolutely captivating 🥺💕💕)

sugarkinky said: Bitchin just wrecked me for real, U ARE AWESOME ROSE mierda que te amo chica ¿cómo consigues escribir así? Eres perfecta ❤

Anonymous said: Bruh bitchin was everything I wanted and more thank u baby

Anonymous said: Bitchin’ is amazing! I have so many feelings ahhhh!!! I love you and your work 🥺

awkwardaegyo said: YOU HAVE GOT ME SO THIRSTY FOR JUNGKOOK FUCKIN PARCHED D-HYDRATED IF YOU WILL BITCHIN HAS GOT ME FUCKEC UP!!!!!

Anonymous said: Bitchin' is literally my favourite fic right now, it's so good! 😍 Can't wait for the next part!!

gardenofrosesx said: Im in love with bitchin 🥺💗 I think that the song that represent it so well is Wait a minute by Willow Smith, every time a hear it I imagine this fic💗 I send you thousands of good vibes and love and peace to your side! Keep going 💗

Anonymous said: Ahhhh I just wanted to say bitchin is absolutely amazing and is so well written and I’m just completely hooked!!! YOU DID AMAZING!!! Also is there gonna be angst in future chapters BECAUSE IM REALLY NOT READY IF BOTH JUNGKOOK AND OC DENY THEIR FEELINGS FOR EACH OTHER

Anonymous said: girl, I finally got around to reading bitchin' and I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T READ IT SOONER. it's been a while since I've found a chaptered fic that kept my interests but I was hooked with pt 1!!! I love your spin on tatbilb, and I love the characters you created. I have to honestly say, I'm also absolutely in love with the way you write. your descriptions and dialogue hit me in all the right places. I can't wait to see where this story takes me. thank you for doing what you do!

Anonymous said: Love Bitchin so far!

Anonymous said: i keep rereading bitchin pt. 5😭😭 love it so much

Anonymous said: hi!! I just wanted to leave an ask and let you know that you’re one of my absolute favorite authors and your work is incredible!! the concept behind your rewind series is so unique and interesting and all of the stories have been wonderful so far. I’m so looking forward to the rest of bitchin’ because it has been so so so good and I love the way that you’re developing the characters and the plot. I hope you have a wonderful day!!

Anonymous said: just finished bitchin 5 and ................ i cant believe how ure able to write jungkook to Life and characterize him in such an attractive way it makes it so artistic and aknejdjdj it’s art it’s everything

Anonymous said: Argh the grind is real! I’m about to start my exams too so we can both be working our asses off! Also Bitchin is such a great series and I wanted to let you know you’re an amazing writer!!! The series made me so emotionally invested in the characters and I can’t get enough of it!! ITS SO GOOODDD THANK YOU FOR WRITING SUCH A MASTERPIECE

sanniinnas said: Hiii! Love your writings soo much! You have such a talent with words! You inspire me as a writer and make me want to learn writing and English better.

Anonymous said: I am seriously laughing from the asks that have been send to you and i cannot wait to read the ff because now i am busy :( also random fact, my biology teacher told us aboit Rosa Franklin and i already knew about her, and all i could keep thinking was bitchin pt5 and i started laughing. They thought i was a maniac 😎🤙

Anonymous said: just wanted to say bitchin’ is *chefs kiss* and i can’t wait for part 7 🥺 i’m not trynna rush you i’m just excited 🥺

nochusbutt said: okay but FIRST OF ALL, YES BITCHIN’ YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. secondly, my name is Rose too I’m so, what? omg yes I literally share a name with a legend. quote me!! 🥰☺️🤪

Anonymous said: Ahhh I am so excited for Bitchin Pt 6!!! No exaggeration this is my all time favorite fic, I think ab it a lot honestly. Whenever I see 80s aesthetic BTS edits I think of Bitchin and lots of love songs make me think of this fic too. I’m not a huge fan of smut but this fic is just so good. The OCs and Jks interactions are precious and I’m obsessed with the 80s theme! I am a huge fan of angst so I am ready to cry my eyes out. Thank you for writing this amazing fic

Anonymous said: aight...time to go re-read bitchin again ....[insert /ah shit, here we go again/ video]

Anonymous said: I CANT WAIT FOR BITCHIN

hear-me-growl said: Wait! Bitchin' is not done?! It's one of my favourite fics ever! I love the whole cliche college vibe, the dialogues are sooo good and the chemistry between Jk and the girl it's just perfect, really. And now you tell me it's not finished.😱 I AM SO EXCITED! you've made my day! Keep up the good work, you are amazing 😍

Anonymous said: AAAAAAAA THE BITCHIN UPDATE WAS SO GOOD !!!!! but also Kiri that bItCh y/n don’t fall for it 🤡😩

Anonymous said: i want sleep but BITCHIN

Anonymous said: IM PUMPED FOR BITCHINYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Anonymous said: Thankyou for updating bitchin sis!!!! But im so sad because this is their first fight(?) i hope they can talk about it and hoping kiri doesnt talk nonsense tp y/n ok :( but I AM GLAD JUNGKOOK REALIZE HE LIKES OC OKEY OKEY! 💜💜💜 sending 💜💜💜💜 to you because you deserve it👏🏼

diortae said: rose I have class in a few minutes and all I can think about is how much I want bitchin jk to raw me what have u DONE

Anonymous said: BITCHIN WAS GREATTTT 🥰 RLLY CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTT 🥺🥺

sunnyoongles said: bitchin is literally so good*chefs kiss* i love angst*chefs kiss* i love drama*chefs kiss* i just love the whole rewind series*chefs kiss*

Anonymous said: BITCHIN’ PART 6 EXCUSE ME STOP TRYING TO HURT MY FEELINGS IM NOT READY FOR THE ANGST

ppampin said: so yesterday i read bitchin pt. 6 three times in a row because it was just so good and now i can't wait to pt. 7 to come out

Anonymous said: Finally got to read bitchin 6, WTF IS GOING ON!? I’m so confused!! Do I trust my so called boyfriend or do I trust “girl code” by my boo’s ex who tried to scare me away from my boo the first time we met ??!!?

Anonymous said: i really need to know something about bitchin 🤔 is kiri a bitch or we don't have feminine rivalry here? help me out rose

Anonymous said: It is almost 1 am in here and I have a morning class but guess who is gonna binge re read all the Bitchin because the last chapter was so good?? 🤔

Anonymous said: I’m so ready for you to break our hearts in bitchin. I live for the angst 😭😭😪

Anonymous said: Rose you are KILLING ME with this story like I'm not even caught up on my favorite TV shows this week but goddammit I still made time for Bitchin' 💕💕💕

cheeky-kookie said: Girl I am sooooo fucking happy with Bitchin' 6. Like I love the small progressions Jungkook is having coming to terms with his actual feelings with Y/N. Also btw, loving the whole Yara/Tae moments going on ;) As always, I'm in love. Thank you for blessing us with this masterpiece

Anonymous said: Rosie !! I just read Bitchin’ and BIIIIITCH you have my feelings on a rollercoaster !!!!!! I’ve never been so invested in a fanfic like this and imma tell you how much I appreciate you for putting your work out on the internet. Especially for free like wtf ! Your writings are some quaLITY shit that I would purchase without hesitation 👌🏽👏🏽 I was wondering if you ever considered going into the writing career ? Anyways have a lovely day 💛💛 -MC

Anonymous said: This ch 6 getting all the attention away from my precious zombie Jungkook 😤 But who am I to say I love Bitchin😂😍 This Kiri better not be playing dirty games we are already not in good terms with her 🧐 And why is nobody talking about the fact that Y/N finally got her event she dreamed of?? Congrats girlll 🎊🎉🥳👌👏

Anonymous said: EXCUSE ME DID I READ THAT U SAID BITCHIN WILL BE ANGSTY FROM HERE ON OUT WBAT MY HEART I CANG FJSHSHDJS

sapphireprinces5 said: I am 1000% not ready for angst between the precious y/n and Jungkook in Bitchin’ omfg i’m honestly terrified and going to buy some tissues from the cvs across the street

Anonymous said: I JUST FINISHED READING BITCHIN 6 AND JUNGKOOK PLS TELL ME THAT JUNGKOOK IS OVER KIRI )))): he couldn’t have been lying about the way he felt for y/n even though it was reheated, right??? I’m SADD. But Rose, you are so beyond talented!!! I love reading your works!!!

Anonymous said: Ok, Rose you gotta let me know if Bitchin’ will have a happy ending, because I don’t know if my emotions can handle an upseti spaghetti ending. Anywho I love you and your writing, everything is chefs kiss. 💗

Anonymous said: bitchin will have 10 parts?????? ma'am u got the power

Anonymous said: OKAY SO BITCHIN’ IS AMAZING AND LIKE— I LOVE (1) DUMB “”””COUPLE”””” Your writing is amazing omg

Anonymous said: Me: already read bitchin completely You: reblogs pt.6 Me: a little refresher wouldn’t hurt 👀

Anonymous said: I wish u the best during your hiatus!!! Take lots of care bby :3 Just wanted to tell you how much I love the 'Bitchin' series, I'm shooketa at how well written it is. Y/N is a really refreshing character, especially as an STEM major myself, it's so relatable to some extent, especially when it comes to appreciating compliments about your inteligence, that really got me, since it's kinda unsual. I hope I found a Jungkook one day then :') jk, but really, I absolutely loved it, you're the best!!!

Anonymous said: hi just so u r aware if u make the end of bitchin’ sad i will cry. that will be on u. my tears will be UR fault.

Anonymous said: i just wanted to say thank you. when bitchin’ came out, there was a part where y/n talks about why she hated her twin sisters. it was comforting to know that i wasn’t alone in feeling uncool or boring. i never brought up my brother because i thought people would see how uncool i was and so i put my effort into school instead. thanks for bringing me comfort and for pushing me to love myself more and to change my viewpoints on the parts of myself i view as boring!!!!! 💛💛💛💛💛💛🌼

this made me :’))) i love knowing that you can find comfort in my characters!!! there is a little piece of me in all my characters but I do try to make them all somewhat different so that other people can relate. best of luck lovely!!

purplealiensblog said: Yo ily and cant wait for the next chapter of bitchin but i have to share: i got a notif on a new chapter and was all excited and then i discover its tumblr being glitchy again and notifying me on the last one :( i hope you will find time soon to write the rest and thank you for writing i love your work🥰♥️

Anonymous said: BITCH I JUST FINISHED READING BITCHIN IN JUST ONE DAY AND NOW I’M CRYING BECAUSE THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE FIC OF ALL TIME!!!.!.!.! (also sorry my bad englisheu i’m not native lmao)

Anonymous said: HELLO LOVELY AAAAAAAA IM HAPPY YOURE BACK 😩 are u reallyback tho? Hehe im so shookt with the new chapter of bitchin’ has me yearning for more😭 im def a proud bitchinator😔👏 tHANK YOU FOR THIS GIFT BEFORE CHRISTMAS😃 WE LOVE U!!!!💜 we MISSED YOU!! 💜 i hope u are loved and happy and cared for! 💜K

Anonymous said: Hi there !!I hope your doing well ! Taking your time to recover and work on yourself I literally just finshed bitchin to the last update and oof I just gotta tell you what the f How do you write the characters so well... I love me some good characterization like oof ICANNOT JJK IS SO I WANNA SMOOSH HIM IN MY ARMS LIKE PLEASE THE STORY IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING HAHA I HOPE IM NOT SCARING YOU WITHMY CAPSLOCK I just wish to sincerely get my excitement across hahaha I love you boo take care x

nonecesitodenadie said: I rarely send asks but... I'm reading bitchin and I'M LOVING IT, really it's amazing i hope that you can continue it, i send you much love and thanks for your work you're so talented 🥺❤️

Anonymous said: can i just say bitchin' is honest to god such a good good good fic like i'm so in l*ve with it 😩 i've probably reread it thrice waiting for a new update ): i also happen to love your other works so much as well!!

sydney--chan said: Okay so no cap yesterday I was talking to my friend (who also reads your work) about me and my bf n she was like "he loves you the way Bitchin' jk loves Y/N aND I SOBBED ROSE IT MADE ME CRY FOR HOURS

usagionthem00n said: Lol I know you’ve been kinda quiet on here BUT IM HERE TO PLATONICALLY HARASS U???(tbh idk I’m just trying to find a reason to bother you) I-I miss u 👉👈 HOPE THIS POST MADE U SMILE ILL BE BACK BITCH (Um speaking of bitches I still need to join the bitchinators :/) I PROMISE ILL GET TO IT!!!

Anonymous said: HIIII! so, one night I spent about two hours trying to find another great Jungkook story... I was losing hope in finding one BUT THEN I FOUND “BITCHIN” and omg it’s amazing, I absolutely love it!!!!! take care always, have a great day!! thank you for creating such a beautiful story.

Anonymous said: Can I just say.... bitchin is so good! like it’s been so long since I’ve liked a fic as much as bitchin??!!? Everything about it has me like :)))) so yes just wanted to let u know hehe

Anonymous said: IM ACTUALLY OBSESSED W THE “BITCHIN” SERIES YOU DONT EVEN KNOW 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

SO MANY OF U LOVIN ON BITCHIN!! MAYHAPS IM OVERWHELMED (in the best way possible). Thank u everyone who sent an ask in, i am the happiest bean in bed rn reading all these asks C:

[wildfangz]

@liliithvatore tagged me in that simself thing thats been goin around DAYS ago but here it finally is! also thank you for the tag this was fun :-]

I tag @slythersim @thelurgoyf @seoulchii @weicyn @solitasims @daisydezem @raha-plays-the-sims if they want to do it & anyone that just wants to do it in general! message me and I’ll even @ u directly if u want. 

anyway lets DO THIS shitload of questions under the cut u’ve been warned!!!

1. what is your name?

julian

2. what is your nickname?

jewel, jules

3. birthday?

oct 26th

4. what is your favorite book series?

percy jackson and the olympians will probably always own my heart & soul

5. do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

yes & yes. tho i do think a lot of alien sightings and conspiracy theories and what not are bullshit

6. who is your favorite author?

maggie stiefvater probably? also cornelia funke but its been years since ive read anything by her so i cant be sure BUT i loved inkheart & the thief lord so much

7. what is your favorite radio station?

ummm when i listen to the radio at all i kinda just switch between two rock stations and our popular music station.

8. what is your favorite flavor of anything?

blue raspberry !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tasty and i love a blue tongue

9. what word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful?

cool. or bitchin’.  i play it simple

10. what is your current favorite song?

hands like houses - revive

11. what is your favorite word?

roulette and inhibition which i never get to use either as much as i want !

12. what was the last song you listened to?

emarosa - givin’ up ! its a bop!

13. what tv show would you recommend for everybody to watch?

the new she-ra on netflix its so good. and gay

14. what is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down?

moana. its also like the only movie i dont have trouble getting thru despite how many times ive already seen it

15. do you play video games?

16. what is your biggest fear?

idk... being inherently unlovable i guess n ending up alone? also spiders !

17. what is your best quality, in your opinion?

im fairly open-minded and laid back. Unless someones being like, purposely nasty or something I generally don’t get defensive or aggressive. also a lot of little quirks that piss others off dont bother me im very u do u as long as its not actually harming anyone and ive had people tell me this makes it easier to open up to me so thats probably my best quality....

18. what is your worst quality, in your opinion?

....at the same time though i do get very sensitive when faced w/ criticism even if its of the fair variety when its not phrased really gently for various reasons and i dont like that. especially since I have a tendency to not even talk to people about it. I’ll just immediately start distancing myself. also other than that i think overall I have a really high tolerance lvl but if you cross that line I hold a grudge like a motherfucker

9. do you like cats or dogs better?

cats! dogs are good too but cats are a lot easier for me to handle...and quieter generally but even when they’re loud cat sounds dont get to me quite as much as barks do

20. what is your favorite season?

autumn but im starting to really like summer for some reason? wack :/

21. are you in a relationship?

nope

22. what is something you miss from your childhood?

the lack of responsibility, probably. that sounds real bad lmao but for me its like...I know I’ve grown in various ways over the years but I also feel like so many of my experiences, my trauma, my mental health has held me back and I don’t think I’m mentally where I should be for my age. so all the responsibility of adulthood is just..really overwhelming for me sometimes, even though ive been given a pass from certain aspects of it and the rest is pretty simple its the idea!!!!

23. who is your best friend?

my ex

24. what is your eye color?

25. what is your hair color?

26. who is someone you love?

my mom

27. who is someone you trust?

not really anyone rn unfortunately...would like 2 work on that

28. who is someone you think about often?

are my OCs a fair answer because i am always thinking about my babies.....

29. are you currently excited about/for something?

my favorite webcomic (that also has two of my all time favorite characters in it) just came back!! the artist disappeared back in 2015 like the day after I binge-read the whole fucking thing & i was so disappointed but its BACK and 2018 has been redeemed

30. what is your biggest obsession?

sims probably! i could talk about anything relating to it for hours

31. what was your favorite tv show as a child?

there were so damn many its hard to even think and figure out the most notable ones...i really, really liked teen titans though?

32. who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone?

my ex, again

33. are you superstitious?

not terribly so but somewhat. I take certain things as signs and I mean I do believe in astrology & such to a degree

34. do you have any unusual phobias?

i used to be afraid of mirrors but thats all i can think of and its not even a thing anymore...the only other thing is tornadoes but i dont think its unusual. but it definitely sucks for me ‘cause i live in tornado alley!

35. do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?

behind it....like taking pretty pictures and dont like ppl capturing my image 2 film

36. what is your favorite hobby?

sims.....also singing!!! and drawing!!!! video editing!!!!!!!!! the works

37. what was the last book you read?

The Dream Thieves....havent finished it though because last time i went to read it a spider was lying in wait and im traumatized

38. what was the last movie you watched?

coco i think???

39. what musical instruments do you play, if any?

drums, various other percussion instruments, and violin mainly

40. what is your favorite animal?

ferrets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

41. what are your top 5 favorite tumblr blogs that you follow?

uhhhhh @bratsims @liliithvatore @cabsim @wildlyminiaturesandwich @keysims pls dont feel bad if i didnt include u these were just the first to pop into my head and ive been following some of them since I first made my blog!! and have kept up with their stories completely and enjoy them etc check them OUT !

42. what superpower do you wish you had?

shapeshifting!!! dysphoria? gone. ugliness? gone. want to morph into a fucked up clown and scare people when they realize all the classic clown features are a real actual part of my face? possible!

43. when and where do you feel most at peace?

chillin’ at the pool in summer during the part of the day when no ones there.... swimming is always relaxing 2 me then i love just resting under the sun and drying off afterwards especially since we have a little pond nearby and i can hear the water! its nice

44. what makes you smile?

always and without fail? interacting with anyone i have a crush on. i’ll look like a dope the whole time

45. what sports do you play, if any?

i used 2 play basketball a lot. Like not seriously but it was a thing

46. what is your favorite drink?

dr pepper and monster energy (original flavor) pumps through my veins at this point. we love a carbonated beverage

47. when was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody?

two years ago for my ex and I’s first year anniversary... I never got it mailed but I did at least take a picture of it (with included caption because my handwriting is atrocious). i was very up front about being a romantic and see heres the PROOF

48. are you afraid of heights?

nope! very excited by them actually

49. what is your biggest pet peeve?

i cant stand passive aggressive behavior. my stance is either get over it or quit acting like a bitch because otherwise im just going to ignore you thats the scorpio way (in all seriousness I really, really do recommend not putting up with it and ignoring it until they decide to be up front with you. it can be exhausting constantly reading into conversations and its not healthy for you or them. if they have something to say they need to learn to talk about it properly, and that lack of social skills is not ever on you)

50. have you ever been to a concert?

yep! i think about....six or so? i love them...which is really funny im autistic and EVERYTHING about them should freak me out and they do in other circumstances but at a show i just live for it

51. are you vegan/vegetarian?

nope! ive thought before id like to go vegetarian...but i couldnt do it with my health problems. also i love shrimp too much

52. when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

ive always wanted to do something creative! when i was rlly young I thought a lot about singing and acting and writing in particular...all things im still interested in.... also i wanted to be a dictator ages 4-7 because i told my mom i wanted to be president of the world and make people do what i say and she said “honey thats a dictator not a president”. i then made that known at school and that turned into a situation!

53. what fictional world would you like to live in?

pokemon universe or bust. 

54. what is something you worry about?

never being able to do things i want to do or catching up with others because of my disabilities

55. are you scared of the dark?

yes but a reasonable amount i think

56. do you like to sing?

yes :]

57. have you ever skipped school?

yes i used to play sick a LOT and as my parents caught onto it id even go all out to convince them. i was good at school but i hated it so much

58. what is your favorite place on the planet?

dunno! malls maybe i love shopping and looking at material objects i wish to own

59. where would you like to live?

oregon! portland in particular thats been my dream for a few years now

60. do you have any pets?

a cat! he lives with my dad & grandma though...hes grown up there and likes going outside so I felt bad about taking him with me when i moved out but anyway this is him hes fat and stupid and i love him his name is coffee

61. are you more of an early bird or a night owl?

night owl because my rhythm is all fucked up but in my heart....an early bird...if i get a good nights sleep i’ll be up early yacking your ear off and so excited for the day

62. do you like sunrises or sunsets better?

sunsets are prettier...but sunrises feel more refreshing

63. do you know how to drive?

nope ! im gay !

64. do you prefer earbuds or headphones?

headphones. better sound quality also discourages people from talking to me slightly more

65. have you ever had braces?

nope! but i need them

66. what is your favorite genre of music?

post-hardcore maybe?

67. who is your hero?

every trans person living their truth and being open and loud about who they are past present & future. the worlds not particularly kind to us and our existence alone is considered a radical act, so its always given me hope to see others refusing to pretend to be someone they’re not in this environment and I’ll always have mad respect for that

68. do you read comic books?

i read manga and webcomics...ive always wanted to get into superhero comics but the amount of issues and different versions is ridiculous and makes it inaccessible 2 me 

69. what makes you the most angry?

i mean its hard to pinpoint what makes me angry the MOST...but a contender is definitely how some people feel free to treat others with cruelty and think its their god given right to deny or attack someones existence in some way, & how acts of kindness, even the most basic are branded as liberal bullshit or whatever....it goes against everything i was taught growing up

70. do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book?

real book! electronic device can be easier but....rough on the eyes after a while and nothing beats the real thing for me

71. what was your favorite subject in school?

language arts...at least when we did creative writing stuff

72. do you have any siblings?

two older sisters & an older brother that passed away years ago but. still my brother u kno

73. what was the last thing you bought?

mocha frappe baby!!!!!

74. how tall are you?

5′4″

75. can you cook?

a little bit....not as much as id like to though but im learning

76. what are three things that you love?

storms, cheesy breadsticks, and cat purrs

77. what are three things that you hate?

unnecessary rudeness, being talked down to or generally treated like im stupid, grapefruit which is the worst thing on this list

78. do you have more female friends or more male friends?

female i think?

79. what is your sexual orientation?

im the big bad promiscuous bisexual your parents warned you about

80. where do you currently live?

oklahoma. gofundme campaign to get me out

81. who was the last person you texted?

my friend jojo! just Now!

82. when was the last time you cried?

yesterday afternoon but im a changed man now thats behind me. i will cry about different things soon

83. who is your favorite youtuber?

the mcelroy brothers. also super best friends play. matt, pat & woolie are all great tbh

84. do you like to take selfies?

depends on whether i feel ugly or terribly dysphoric that day or not

85. what is your favorite app?

ummmm....love live school idol festival ive been playin for years its an addiction

86. what is your relationship with your parent(s) like?

dad = bad mom = okay. theres some issues that strain it but its not too bad

87. what is your favorite foreign accent?

i have no idea what the fuck australians are talking about half the time but i dig it anyway 

88. what is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit?

Italy, Greece, Germany, Japan, Mexico, various other states (ive only been out of state three times. twice to texas and then once to kansas. for five minutes)

89. what is your favorite number?

6!! 26 also

90. can you juggle?

ive always wanted to but alas.... :-[

91. are you religious?

i suppose...but im rlly not into organized religion

92. do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting?

space probably theres so fucking much of it man!

93. do you consider yourself to be a daredevil?

not to brag but sometimes i eat my mcdonalds hamburgers cold from the fridge so you can figure that one out yourself B)

94. are you allergic to anything?

pecans. not deathly allergic though so catch me eating turtle pie anyway! 

95. can you curl your tongue?

nope :[

96. can you wiggle your ears?

nope :[

97. how often do you admit that you were wrong about something?

usually as soon as i realize....unless someones being real smug and annoying then i might be stubborn about it

98. do you prefer the forest or the beach?

ive never been to the beach but i love her!!!

99. what is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?

probably that you have to look at your accomplishments differently when you’re disabled or just struggling, to not be so down on yourself because its a fact that what might be a mole hill to someone else is a mountain to you and you have to judge yourself accordingly. Like maybe you weren’t able to clean the whole house, but washing the dishes and tidying your desk doesn’t usually get done but you did it. That that should be celebrated because while it would also feel good if you did more, you still did something and thats great all things considered.

100. are you a good liar?

sometimes, really depends what im lying about and if im like....into it at all. If my guts against it for whatever reason I’ll have trouble

101. what is your hogwarts house?

i always get slytherin or hufflepuff! usually with like 1 point difference

102. do you talk to yourself?

i am talking to myself right now as i fill this out

103. are you an introvert or an extrovert?

extrovert mainly! i used to think i was more introverted but now i think a lot of exhaustion when theres any comes from me just going the extra mile and actively trying to read people and pick up on social ques.... if I just chill im fine

104. do you keep a journal/diary?

nope...ive tried but i just cant keep up with it so i do the next best thing. shouting into the void on the internet to a bunch of strangers

105. do you believe in second chances?

depends on what you did the first time. Some people just don’t deserve taking that risk imo...but i can be a little guarded so maybe thats a bit too harsh

106. if you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do?

turn it in, unless there was no identifying things in it & it was found somewhere kinda random. Then I’d maybe hold onto it unless my gut challenged that

107. do you believe that people are capable of change?

absolutely. i mean thats all we do throughout our lives is change and evolve...that being said I think extremely drastic changes are maybe not entirely impossible, but extremely rare, and the residue of the former self usually sticks around in some form

108. are you ticklish?

yes, dangerously so

109. have you ever been on a plane?

nope

110. do you have any piercings?

one day hopefully!

111. what fictional character do you wish was real?

asra from the arcana.....even if he wasn’t my boyfriend thats just a dude u could chill and eat some pomegranates with u know. Before I downloaded the app my friends kept telling me he was made for me and he really was he ticks like everything on my Favorite Characters Feature List except villain but he has that particular allure & attitude i like so much in villains so thats not a single point off hes perfect

112. do you have any tattoos?

nope...one day! hopefully!

113. what is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far?

accepting my genderqueerness and bisexuality definitely. Self Love hasn’t been perfected just yet but that was such a huge step in the right direction

114. do you believe in karma?

yes! she doesn’t get shit done as much as id like however

115. do you wear glasses or contacts?

glasses. not contacts yet because my eye doctor is a bitch

116. do you want children?

I do....just not sure if id be a good parent. Its really important to me if I had a child itd be for the right reason and I could raise them well in a healthy environment & be able to take care of all their needs yknow

117. who is the smartest person you know?

probably my friend jojo

118. what is your most embarrassing memory?

one time i looked outside and the sunset was really pretty and i wanted to get a photo of it so i walked out.....and stood like right by the street so there weren’t trees in my way...and then i realized mid-pic 1) i am not wearing pants & my shirt is full of holes 2) id been depressed for days so my hair was a tangled mess. I tailed it back inside so i didnt even get a nice pic it was blurry!

119. have you ever pulled an all-nighter?

120. what colour are most of you clothes?

black i didnt even have to think about that one

121. do you like adventures?

they are pretty swell

122. have you ever been on tv?

a few times when i was little. always photobombing the news reporters 4 what i thought would eventually lead 2 fame & fortune

123. how old are you?

21

124. what is your favorite movie quote?

this is technically lyrics to that lil song in moana at the end but

“ They have stolen the heart from inside you. But this does not define you.”

hits me hard every time! emotional impact? i know her

125. sweet or savory?

sweet!!!!!!!! gotta balance out my bitter somehow

[iguessiwritestuffnow]

Anastasia AU

So I saw Anastasia (the broadway one) in June and it was amazing like if you get the chance go see it. But anyway, since i’m absolute trash i’m jotting down some ideas for a newsies anastasia AU. (based more on the broadway version than the movie but like the plots aren’t too different so). also yes this AU would make more sense with jack and kath as the main characters (love interest) but when was the last time I wrote something heterosexual?

Note: this turned into a somewhat humorous summary of anastasia feat. javid

-So its 1917 in russia and the royal family is having a great time (said royal family is the Jacobs, but we’ll stick with the name Romanov because ‘jacobs’ is not russian)

-David is like ten or something? Sarah is nineteen, and while she adores her family, she has plans to go to Paris to spend time with her girlfriend  lady in waiting, Katherine. David doesn’t want her to go, so she promises she’ll see him soon and gives him a music box and they sing a haunting lullaby together, etc, y'all now how the story goes.

-like five minutes after Sarah leaves a bunch of revolution people come and kill the nobility for the sake of communism. (i feel rlly bad that Les dies). Sarah finds out about this and is Very Sad

-Time jump like ten years. Russia is now Very Communist and people are generally upset about that. But there’s a Rumor in Saint Petersburg that hey?? Maybe that david kid isn’t dead??????? And it turns out his older sister Sarah, who is currently chilling in Paris with her gf, will pay a Lot for his return

-Jack Kelly and his bff Crutchie are basically poor con artists who are bitter about communism. they want to Leave Russia but that’s Difficult. (crutchie is like thirty something- jack’s 22- cause i need crutchie to be older cause he used to be a count or something?). Jack hears about the missing prince rumor and thinks, hey, i could make money off of that. he ropes Crutchie into helping him, and they buy a music box that probably belonged to David. they’re really pumped about this plan

-who else happens to exist in Russia at the time? a kid named Davey who is currently like 20, and can’t remember the first ten years of his life. he’s spent all of his life travelling Russia with close to nothing and no memories, and he really wants to Leave. someone tells him, hey, hit up Jack Kelly he can get you out.

-so he goes to see Jack and Crutchie, who decide, hey, this kid looks vaguely like David (and has a very similar name, because fuck you i didn’t want to come up with another name). Davey sings an angsty ballad about not remembering shit. Jack is instantly smitten. Jack and Crutchie (who i will now refer to as the Dream Team to shorten things up) convince him that he’s probably a lost prince and davey just. goes along with it.

-the Dream Team tries to teach Davey all the Things about being russian nobility and. don’t do well. its okay they tried. Crutchie actually tries to be nice and helpful. Jack and Davey engage in some banter

.-theres this whole subplot in the musical about this ultra-communist dude and his struggle between wanting to kill anastasia for being a romanov and being in love with her. hes v morally grey and actually kinda interesting but i just. dont want to deal w/his story in this. if yall have ideas on how to include him in this lmk

-Jack sings an Upbeat song about how much he fucking hates Russia but also he loves it???? Davey is smitten (My Petersburg is a Bop listen to it)

-ngl i don’t really remember how this part happened in the musical so im going to go off of what i remember from the movie. The Dream Team + Davey go to rehearse in some old ballroom that used to be used by nobility. Davey has intense flashbacks and ends up singing that lullaby he heard literally ten years ago. He may or may not hallucinate his dead family. 

-turns out everyone Fucking Hates Russia but also loves it.

-they leave russia. Crutchie is pumped to see his friend Katherine, who will hopefully take him, jack, and davey to see Sarah. Jack and Davey are both Nervous

-they arrive near Paris, and the Dream Team rush ahead to relish in the fact that they finally got out of Goddamn Russia. Davey stays behind for three minutes and seventeen seconds to sing about how he’s going to finally find his family??? He’s scared but also happy and just. My boy.

-Crutchie is Very Excited about being in Paris. He was there a lot when he was nobility I guess? He leads a very nice musical number about how great france is. Jack comes to the realization that, wow, after this, he’s probably never going to see davey again??? that sucks. Davey meanwhile is Shook by Paris

-Davey Crosses a Bridge

-also somewhere in here Jack and Davey dance with each other. Its cute and crutchie ships it

-meanwhile, in the Richest part of Paris, Sarah and Kath are a few minutes into Reading Letters and Chill when sarah gets sad. She’s angsty because there have been a bunch of fake Davids and she just misses her little bro:( Kath tries to comfort her gf and give her hope, but Sarah just insists they Close the Door forever. She can’t deal with any more pain. She asks to be alone

-kath goes to a russian club to get drunk (not with liquor!!! fame works quicker!!!) and sing a BOP about missing being russian nobility. (dudes. Land of Yesterday is amazing)

-Crutchie and Kath meet up and Crutchie is like “hey so me and my buddy Jack brought a guy who may or may not be David can we see Sarah?” Kath is worried at first but eventually she agrees cause she and Crutchie are Good Friends (the characters they’re based on have a relationship in the musical but none of that straight shit in my AU)

-Davey has nightmares about All of His Family Dying and Jack comforts him by telling him a story about a parade he was at when he was ten. ten year old Jack had watched a parade of russian nobility, and had such an instant crush on young David that he just. ran out in the middle of the street to see him. David had smiled at him and that was jack’s bisexual awakening

.-In order to Add To the Story of Davey Being David, Jack has Davey retell the story from his POV. he says basically the same stuff, but then adds on that Jack had bowed. But Jack never told him that??? Wow turns out Davey is David!!! What a surprising turn of events

.-Jack and Davey finish the song in a very romantic duet and they’re about to kiss but then Jack bows to him instead

-Crutchie comments on how in love Jack and Davey are and wow this might fuck up the plan

-They go see a ballet. Davey sees sarah and is excited!!! thats his sister!!!! he just needs to convince her of that. Sarah sees Davey and wonders if thats her bro?? but no she cant get hopes up. Jack wants to protect and support davey like a good bf

-Kath recognizes Davey as the kid crutchie told her about and takes him to go to see Sarah while Jack waits outside. Jack convinces himself that they can only win. But… even if it works, and he gets the money, he’s going to lose Davey?? He realizes that he loves Davey and pining ensue

s-in the meeting, Davey realizes that there was a reward for finding David and figures that Jack and Crutchie were just using him and he is pretty heartbroken. he storms off, but Jack stays to try to convince Sarah to talk to Davey again. she respects his boldness and agrees. Jack on the other hand, thinks Davey hates him now and is heartbroken. he decides to leave Paris

-Sarah and Davey talk but she still doesn’t believe him. He shows her the music box and sings their lullaby. Sarah is Convinced and joins in on the lullaby. They hug and share a sibling moment. Its very cute.

-theres a Press Conference about David

-Davey realizes he kinda doesn’t want to be a prince cause he’d rather be gay for Jack. Sarah is chill with that. Davey decides to go after Jack

-Davey nearly gets shot but doesn’t.

-Davey finds Jack being angsty as he’s planning to leave. Jack makes some bs comment like “leave me alone i don’t want to be in love with someone who doesn’t love me for the rest of my life.” Davey decides Jack is being stupid and kisses him. They leave Paris together and live happily ever after!!

-(Meanwhile, Sarah lives in Paris with Katherine- they are happy and in love. Crutchie mostly stays with them but also joins Jack and Davey regularly on their exploits. Everyone is happy forever.)

so yeah this is stupid

[love-ndletter]

♡ the super sweet @helianthical tagged me (forever ago lol) for this! tysm! ♡

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. (im tagging mutuals id like to get to know better, whether we’ve talked before or not!)

tagging: @fxprettygirl, @goldenseoulss, @jajajaebum, @1wnwu, @beijingbabes, @sooyounqster, @fensi, @sungwoonsgf, @wu-yi-man, @whist1e, @lovelyzc, @xuanyisgfriend, @ppj, @kuwuhn, @wjsoobin, @twiceoficial, @milkjoons, @2monstax, @mortisgenesis, and @oos4n! feel free to opt out!

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THE LAST:

1. Drink: water! 2. Phone call: i checked my phone and it was my mom 3. Text message: checked as well, my last message was from @poking-dimples 4. Song you listened to: my moms playing the radio out back and i can hear it from the front of the house so the song currently playing is katy perry’s wide awake?? i think thats the name 5. Time you cried: last night cause i was really upset lol

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: no 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: no 8. Been cheated on: no 9. Lost someone special: yeah 10. Been depressed: yes 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: no njasnfjka i cant stand alcohol to the point even talking to people about it makes me uncomfortable

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: light grey, pastels, white

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yes!! ♡ 16. Fallen out of love: no 17. Laughed until you cried: yes 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes 19. Met someone who changed you: yes 20. Found out who your friends are: yes 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: no lol

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: like 99%. i dont accept people i dont know irl unless theyre close internet friends (aka just @moonske) 23. Do you have any pets: i currently have 5 cats (2 are foster cats) and 1 dog ♡♡ 24. Do you want to change your name: full name, yeah. my nickname, no. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: i cant really remember?? i think we went down to the beach and just hung out at my house lmaoo. thats usually what we do for my birthday since the beach is free.  26. What time did you wake up: i woke up at 7am because of an alarm but i didnt have nything to do for the day so i passed out until 10:53 when i just woke up 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: washing my face and applying aloe lotion to my sunburn 28. Name something you can’t wait for: all the music thats going to come out within the next few weeks im so pumped!! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: maybe 10 minutes ago? i saw her ordering dinner and then she went to the backyard to finish burning stuff in the fire pit 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i didnt procrastinate so much 31. What are you listening right now: a person playing a game on youtube because the idle sound of others talking helps me focus. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i have 2 uncles name tom and i used to have a good friend from elementary names tom but he always pinched me  33. Something that is getting on your nerves: the fact that i keep putting off my summer rope stuff 34. Most visited Website: probably youtube and then tumblr even though ive been pretty absent lately

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME

35. Mole/s: yeah ive got quite a few and i have a super raised one on my neck but its not an issue 36. Mark/s: yeah! most recently i busted up my knee from the lake so theres lots of scratches and cuts on my left knee and i also have uncountable freckles and just recently got a lot more across my nose and cheeks from sunburn. i also have some scars and birthmarks  37. Childhood dream: i wanted to be- very specifically, my mom can verify- a part-time teacher, part-time pharmacist lmaooo 38. Haircolor: its just brown. 39. Long or short hair: its shorter i guess??? its like-when straight and if you pull it taunt to see the actual length- just past my shoulders 40. Do you have a crush on someone:  nope.  41. What do you like about yourself: i like how im really accepting of people and that when i have negative thoughts about people based on first appearance i feel bad and try to correct myself from thinking so negatively about people before i even know them 42. Piercings: the basic earlobes 43. Bloodtype: O+!! i found out after donating blood at school. the red cross sent me a thank you letter and it had a card with my blood information on it so i can keep it on me! i was really excited ajskfnajk im excited to be 17 so i can sign up for the blood donation red cross app so i can donate more often too! 44. Nickname: sav. my parents still call me vanna sometimes 45. Relationship status: single 46. Zodiac: leo 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show: twd, untold stories of the er, theres probably more but i cant remember any :( 49. Tattoos: no 50. Right or left hand: right handed?? is that what this means lmao 51. Surgery: i got my tonsils removed when i was really young but thats it 52. Hair dyed in different color: the only (basic) colors my hair hasnt been is orange, white, and grey.  53. Sport: i never was on a team or anything but my mom encouraged me to sign up for baseball when i was younger because i had a really good arm  where is question 54 ajsbfjkasfnjk what the 55. Vacation: ive been to chicago a few times for a family vacation and once i went to a hotel in milwaukee  56. Pair of trainers: do i?? own trainers??? i own one pair of sneakers nd theyre actually defective 

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: dad just brought pizza home  58. Drinking: water 59. I’m about to: eat and then finish this 61. Waiting for: myself to finish this last batch of questions 62. Want: to finish my autobiography 63. Get married: ehhh maybe one day  64. Career: not sure..... i can only seem to think of cons for jobs id be interested in and never the pros. 

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: i rlly dont like being hugged like 87% of the time but i also dont rlly like being kissed like nywhere so lmaoo 66. Lips or eyes: eyes! ♡♡♡ 67. Shorter or taller: taller....  68. Older or younger: older 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: no preference 71. Sensitive or loud: no preference                                                            72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: no preference

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: no 75. Drank hard liquor: no 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no 77. Turned someone down: yes 78. Sex on the first date: no 79. Broken someone’s heart: yeah  80. Had your heart broken: not in a romantic way  81. Been arrested: no 82. Cried when someone died: yes, every time 83. Fallen for a friend: nope

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: not really 85. Miracles: yeah 86. Love at first sight: kind of? its complicated 87. Santa Claus: no ha ha  88. Kiss in the first date: maybe???  89. Angels: yes

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: sammy ♡♡♡ my fkn queen shell never see this 91. Eye color: i have brown eyes  92. Favorite movie: Train to Busan, The Breakfast Club, Stand by Me, Zombieland, Hush, Alien, Schindler’s List, 28 Days/Weeks Later, Shaun of the Dead, DUFF, BGF, Mean Girls, Saving Private Ryan, Get Out, Ju:On, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Hacksaw Ridge, The Ring, others....

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‘Are You The One?’ Recap: Last Week They Took An L, But This Week They Bounced Back Kinda

Welcome, welcome, welcome. After last weeks very entertaining trainwreck, I gotta say I was pretty fucking pumped to revisit the AYTO cast. Nothing makes these recaps easier to write than failure of other people. Lucky for me, this cast not only fails but also does some straight-up stupid shit in the process. I mean, between Tyler and Carolina these recaps practically write themselves.

Anyways, Im drinking cheap wine and my laptop is charged. Lets begin now.

AFTER BLACKING OUT AND LOSING A SHIT TON OF MONEY

Carolina has produced enough tears to give the town of Flint some clean water. Shes literally moving from one location to the other just fucking sobbing. Joeys pretty upset toonow hes a loveless trashman. Sad!

They are both like kneeling on the floor, praying to sweet baby Jesus that they can overcome this horrible hardship of losing your love of two weeks. Joeys low-key kneeling down to pick up some trash off the ground because you cannot take the man away from his livelihood, goddammit.

Kathryn/Rushboobs is like ARE WE DONE?? to Ozzy and its like, uh, is this a trick question? Oh duh, I forgot shes an education major from FSU. Someone needs to basically fucking spell out how this game works for her.

Ozzy tries to let her down easy and she storms off because how dare he try and focus on the whole object of the game!?

Kam, the girl with the grey/purple hair as my mom calls her (like, mom its a three fucking letter name), is like “OKAY EVERYONE STOP FUCKING CRYING.” I am Kam, Kam is me.

Rushboobs cant help that she has a lot of feelings and the fucking mentality of a 14-year-old.

Tee is like “I WANT A BOYFRIEND WITH A BRAIN.” And when you want an intellectual boyfriend the first place you should go is an MTV reality show. *cough, cough BULLSHIT cough*

Shes into Oswaldo, who is low-key hot but also looks like Austin Ames friend from (the one in the middle). YEAH, I KNOW, IM FUCKING RIGHT.

He is talking about how he wants to be a businessman and watches Animal Planet because knowledge is power. Yeah, I bet watching episodes of is really going to put you ahead in your fuckin career.

Honestly, I cannot hear him saying anything besides diner girl.

THE CHALLENGE

Can I just saylots of slow motion running this season. We get it. You use special effects.

The game involves the casts social media and they have to answer questions based off their profiles. Apparently they all are fucking crazy online too, further solidifying the fact that they will never get jobs in the real world.

Except Joey. Trash collecting doesnt have a lot of requirements to it.

They all are asked the same questions and need to find the answer for their partner in a maze like web that Ryan so cleverly calls the inter-net.

Whenever Ryan says something fucking cheesy that cast cracks up like its the best shit theyve ever heard. I imagine producers are standing behind them with like guns pointed to their backsfucking laugh at Ryans pun or Ill murder your family. Carolina, shed a tear if you need help.

Thats not really a thing, you fucking idiots.

It goes like this:

Question: Biggest turnoff in a guy?

JOEY: I know KARI likes a guy who listens, because I listen. ALSO JOEY: I know KARI likes a guy who eats food because I eat food.

Joey, be a doll and never speak again. Thanks!

Question: If I won the lotto what would I buy?

NORMAL PEOPLE: A plane ticket anywhere in the world! NORMAL PEOPLE: I would donate to charity! NORMAL PEOPLE: I would pay loans! HAYDEN: ME BUY LARGE TRUCK.

Question: Whats a gross habit you have?

OZZY: Im just here to fuck Carolina, so Im picking the first thing I see *picks wipes boogers on the wall* CAROLINA: Omg he knows me so well!!!

Note to self, never, ever go to Carolinas booger house.

Hayden and Rushboobs get in first, Joey and KARI get second. To make it even more awkward, Ozzy and Carolina get third. Oh, I love this.

Ryan tells them they are all going hiking with monkeys and Ozzy has to act excited, like he doesnt do that every other day.

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Michael is like I WAS AN EMT BUT I QUIT BECAUSE OLD PEOPLE, AM I RIGHT? Thats like being like I WAS A VET, BUT ANIMALS, RIGHT? Michael, further implicating himself as unemployable.

Gianna is like, still having a lady boner over Michael and Hayden has developed a city on Friendzone Island where he is now the mayor. Shes like, laying all over him and totally loving the fact that hes more whipped than a girl in BDSM porn.

Carolina is in love with Ozzy faster than President Trump can delete the LGBT Rights page from his website. Quite suddenly, hes the hottest guy in the house and she liked him the whole time she was with Joey. Hmm, sounds like alternative facts.

Shes like “MY PARENTS WOULD LOVE YOU” hes like “mmmm okay, Booger rubber.”

Also, when talking to the camera separately, Carolina seems like the most boring person literally ever. Was she on a sedative? Why do I feel like they put her on this show like, mid-wisdom teeth removal?

Rushboobs is pounding wine, honestly same, while Ozzy and Carolina start making out.

Tyler, this seasons resident fuckboy, is like Shannon is fun and flirty! Which is the way of saying easy! Shannon, you seem nice, but when you speak I want to throw myself in front of a fucking train. Her voice truly sounds like everything annoying in the world just took a massive shit in her vocal chords. Did she do the voice over for Bubbles in ?

Taylor is like “dafuq is this?” And straight-up calls Tyler out. Shes like you didnt even get to know me very calmly and Tyler is like WOAH.

TYLER: YOU ARENT MY GIRLFRIEND TAYLOR: I know, I just wanted to get to know you because you seem cool TYLER: WOW, WHAT A CRAZY BITCH

Rushboobs is talking to Ozzy about how she still cares about him and shell never forget the 14 days they had together on a reality show, where everything is pretty much superficial.

Carolina comes in hot and is like “RUSHBOOBS DOESNT KNOW IF IM GOOD FOR OZZY OR NOT! not even understanding that they arent talking about her.

Joey comes in to defend Rushboobs and mostly just shit talk Carolina. Joey starts yelling at Carolina about how she juggles guys and shes crazy and all this other bullshit. Joey, pull your tampon out and quit being a little baby about this. Move the fuck on. Youre a single trashmanyour life can only go up from here!

Joeys like “WHY DONT YOU TAKE A FIRST CLASS FLIGHT HOME WITH OZZY!!!!” And its like, ooooohhh good one, bro, and Ozzys like uh, Im from here. Ozzys mom will be picking him up after the show, thanks for the concern though.

Shannon is talking to Tyler and I swear I have heard more interesting shit come out of a Baby Born doll. Why do you sound like you survive on a diet of rainbows and helium? Whatever, they annoy me. Moving on.

THE DATE WITH ALL THE LITTLE BIRDIES AND THE MONKEYS

They go to play with the monkeys and Carolina is like we took food out and the animals attacked us. Wow, groundbreaking.

She and Ozzy start making out and its like, could you just chill for a second? There are fucking animals eating corn off your head.

Joey starts complaining to KARI about Carolina and shes like I think you still like her. KARIs in med school man, dont fuck with her. Also, she can literally see into your mind with those big-ass eyes of hers.

Hes like “I SWEAR ON MY LIFE IM OVER IT! I SWEAR ON EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER LOVED THAT I AM SO OVER THAT HORRIBLE, HATEFUL, CRAZY BITCH CAROLINA.” The trashman doth protest too much.

KARI leaves because she doesnt need this bullshit. She can fucking read minds and save people. Time to move the fuck on.

Am I watching ? Because I swore I just heard Joey say can I steal her for a minute? Joey, do not fucking try to hybrid my reality shows rn!

He pulls Carolina aside and is like KARI WONT TALK TO ME BECAUSE OF YOU!!! Uh, wait what? Carolina starts yelling and this is just a goddam mess. Honestly, the sexual tensionyou could cut it with a knife.

Ozzy goes to save Carolina before she starts rubbing boogers all over Joeys face.

THE TRUTH BOOTH

Carolina and Ozzy are in the Truth Booth, thank god. Put me out of my fucking misery.

But wait, Ryan offers a deal where they dont send Ozzy and Carolina and they take $150,000 bucks instead. But if they take the money, they can never send those two in the truth booth again. Damn Ryan, back at it again with the shitty trades.

The house is divided with Kam being like CAROLINA IS CRAZY TAKE THE MONEY and everyone else being like hmmm idk.

Ryan asks Derrick, who is like the unofficial spokesperson of the house, what their plan is and they decide to not take the truth booth trade. Damn, Ive heard stupider shit come out of Kellyanne Conways mouth.

And lookie here, NO MATCH.

Moral of the story: Listen to Kam. Listen to me. Never make a decision on your own. Bye!

Carolina is crying again. Someone put a Brita filter under this bitch.

Rushboobs is like wow this is so sad *smiles* *dances* *throws flowers around the room* *throws party*

Joey and Rushboobs bond over alcohol and their hatred of Carolina and start flirting. This is how it goes, I shit you not:

RUSHBOOBS: Stop! JOEY: No, you stop *leans in closer* RUSHBOOBS: No, you stop *leans in closer* ME: NO SERIOUSLY, FUCKIN STOP.

Ive seen better flirting skills from a fucking third grader. Where did you learn to communicate with the opposite sex, Rushboobsyour students? Joey, I dont even want to know how your livelihood has affected your lovelife.

Tee is like “I CANNOT WAIT TO FUCK OSWALDO,” and its like, wow okay. Shoutout to her parents. But also, do you girl #womensmarch

KARI and Tyler start talking. Tylers playing the role of the victim like I cant help that every girl wants to bone me! wow, life must be so hard for you. How do you even get up in the morning?

Tyler is hot though, dammit. Always the pretty ones. KARI ends up straddling him and they go to bed together. Well. Okay then.

Meanwhile, Kam and Eddie are hanging out and giving me couple goals. If they arent a match Im fucking throwing hands.

MTV: Kam and Eddie, you are not a couple ME: CASH ME OUTSIDE, HOW BOW DAH

THE MATCHUP CEREMONY

The girls pick tonight so hopefully it wont be too much of a shit show.

Rushboobs picks Joey, a trashy match made in heaven.

Tee picks Osvaldo, the knowledgeable son of a bitch. I imagine he is just whispering animal facts into her ear all night.

Hannah picks Derrick/Kellyanne.

Casandra and Jaylen. Yawn.

Kam and Eddie, because duh.

Shannon picks Tyler. Yuck. Ryans like Tyler, hows it going? And Tylers like “I GOT TO KNOW KARI INTIMATELY!” Okay. Not the question but whatever. So classy. Goddam, I want to kiss your face but also hit it with shovel???

Hes like I was sauced and tries to act like it was a drunken thing. Very cool of him. And STOP USING THE TERM SAUCED. Like I literally just picture you rolling around in marinara.

KARIs like fuck it, yeah I gave him a handjob. Wow, okay MTV youre really doin the damn thing. Honestly, who hasnt given a regretful handjob?

Taylor is crying because shes like wait you never even spoke to me! Everyone, including me, feels bad for Taylor because like, Tylers fucking gross.

Tyler: The funny thing about a conversation is give me a handjob.

Tylers like I guess Im the bad guy and its like, hmmm, what gave it away? I shall play you the worlds smallest violin. Can you hear it?

Carolina picks Hayden and Giannas like “WTF NO.”

Gianna picks Ozzy and Ozzy literally looks like he wants to kill himself. Relatable.

Alicia picks Mike. Cool story.

Taylor comes up and crying and Ryans like how do you feel? Uh how do you think she fucking feels? Is the crying not a clue? Shes like I feel disrespected but honestly, when am I ever not. This is like a speech from a movie.

TAYLOR TO TYLER: But waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought, useless and disappointing. (name the movie)

Taylor picks Michael as her perfect match.

Andre is like “Taylor is hot and sad. I make happy. We bone. Yay!”

Im endorsing that couple RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

Andre and KARI are left.

They are all like we cannot get another blackout! and Im like just fuck me up, fam. Give me another blackout, make my goddam day.

But alas, they get 4 BEAMS. Not bad for a bunch of pretty degenerates.

Cant wait to see what fuckery next week holds!

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from ‘Are You The One?’ Recap: Last Week They Took An L, But This Week They Bounced Back Kinda