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#IM SORRY ANON I DONT THINK ITS AS FILTHY AS REQUESTED
lavender-verse · 1 month
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downright filthy cactus ring sex in honor of the third life anniversary 🙏
pretend I saw this earlier LOL. ahems, happy third life anniversary
There were gentle times in the desert. With a lover like Scar, it was virtually impossible for there not to be. It’s a bit ironic, when Scar is on his red and final life. Yet there were plenty of nights where Scar’s rough palms that had just been holding a sword earlier that day, held Grian so gently.
But this is not a time of gentleness. This is a time of desperation, one last attempt at closeness before the end.
The two of them are surrounded by cacti, prickly green things that mimic of a wall of privacy. Yet privacy is none existent when it’s just the two of them left.
Grian is pushed into the sand below, the grains getting caught in between his feathers. It’ll be annoying to clean later, but that isn’t a thought on Grian’s mind right now. The only thing he can focus on is Scar’s weight above him, the man’s steady presence. Scar drills into Grian’s body below, teeth marking up his shoulder. His heavy breaths are muffled by Grian’s skin, short grunts following each thrust of his hips.
It’s near animalistic in nature, how the two of them cling to one another. Of course, when Death is neigh, instincts take over. Grian’s nails dig into Scar’s back, leaving red angry marks behind that draw little lines of blood. Scar doesn’t seem to mind. The pain spurs him on.
“Mine,” Scar breathes, a hand tugging on Grian’s cock as he fucks into him. “You’re mine.”
“Y-Yeah, yeah, ah—” Grian arches up into his touch, shuddering at the feeling. His grip tightens as he moves to connect their lips, all tongue and teeth. Scar growls into the kiss, and Grian meets his urgency with his own.
He doesn’t care what happens next, as long as he and Scar get this moment for a little bit longer.
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myjjbaby · 4 years
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updates w/ ellie: (will this become a thing maybe)
hii loves
please send me some kiara requests because i am simping so hard atm for her. like for real. and i’d just like to write for her but i don’t have a concept yet. but some pieces im working on
googly eyes - jj
i know i shared that sneak peek and said i was gonna post later that night well obviously that didnt happen but maybe today or tomorrow?? bare with me
so good * - jj
nsfw! jj has a praise kink and let me tell you she’s filthy cause more kinky shit develops with it. 18+ readers its coming for you lol get it. but i’m not a vetted smut writer so i need to work on that so its taking longer than id planned
romeo pt 2 - jj
will this ever happen idk? its complicated and my writing and me have a love hate relationship with this story not unloke future jj and jamie. it honestly was gonna be a concept and stay that way but like we shall see as i wait for @lavenderpope to post for coconut breeze but like a;so her new pope stuff wow adding to my rec list :))
unnamed request - jj x2
whats happening with these two i wish i knew tbh but they are requests i got a while ago and its time they come out of the shadows. side thing: anons i swear to god if you send the same request to two authors i might actually hunt you down. i wrote a 2k piece only to find that the anon requested it elsewhere and then it was written before i did. literally hours of writing down the drain just think about that.
for now - rafe
enemies to lovers because lets be honest i always feel fed as a rafe simp after reading a good hate to lovers. also kook!reader which recently i’ve loved writing for eventhough majority of the obx community had already self-casted themselves as pogues but honestly im a kook and thats alright as long as im not a bitchy kook :))
unnamed wip* - rafe
i am way to horny for rafe and i admit i have a strange attraction to slight psychopaths/murderers but like its ok. not. idk where this is going but i’m like 100 words in so i dont really need to know where its going yet
I WANT TO WRITE FOR KIEE AND HONESTLY THROW IN SOME POPE TOO CAUSE LIKE THEY FIRE AND UNPROBLEMATIC OVERALL.
i will write for mr. john b but like he can be problematic so kie and pope take priority sorry not sorry :))
-ellie
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mccnyoongi · 5 years
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the yoongi thigh riding drabble 😫😫😫 sis ur tryna kill me alsooo i know u said ur trying not to go for the “riding yoongi in his studio chair” trope however i FULLY support indulging in this trope 😉 i rlly love ur writing tho omg 🥰
+ anon said:  hi im uh read your latest work and rEALLY LIKED IT so can i please request riding yoongi in his studio chair??? thanks if you would posts it!
+ another anon said: yoongi drabble, were where y / n and he have sex in his studio, pls?
hsfjksfh TWIST MY ARm why dont u !! (i told yall id do nasty soon) now i wanna write a multi-chaptered undergroundrapper!yoongi sjkfjsdf 
⇢ word count: 2K+ (lmao)
⇢ warnings: unprotected sex, dom!yoongi, starts SUPER soft then devolves into filth, undergroundrapper!yoongi bc ion like writing idol!au skdfjsdfk, degradation, yoongi’s hands
Yoongi’s passion has always been one of your favourite things about him- if he cares about something, he’ll give his all to it. Thankfully you fall under that category. The only question is whether you’re first or second on the list, constantly competing with his music.
With Yoongi garnering a fair amount of success from his life as an underground rapper, you understand why it’s starting to take over more and more of his life, you really do. You loved Yoongi, you loved his music. But you couldn’t help but start to… miss your boyfriend. A sad irony that you could miss the man who’s been, as of late, spending the majority of his time in his ‘studio,’ aka the spare room of your shared apartment that he said was about a quarter the size of a proper studio. 
How could you miss someone that was less than fifteen feet away from you, two doors away? You weren’t sure that it was possible until now, lying in bed, Yoongi’s side cold and the offensive red light of your bedside alarm clock telling you it’s far past the time your boyfriend promised he’d be in bed by. You sigh, sitting up, knowing that you wouldn’t get any sleep if you just sat there and stewed in your negativity. So instead you’d seek him out.
Thankfully there isn’t a lock on the door, he hasn’t gotten around to putting one in yet. You know the day will come soon, since last time your friends were over, Jungkook and Jimin had managed to sneak their way in, looking like guilty puppies when Yoongi had caught them. 
Lock or not, Yoongi didn’t even hear you, ears covered by his almost comically oversized headphones, his dyed blonde head bobbing to whatever beat he’s working on at the moment. You can’t help but smile fondly at the sight of your sweet boy so immersed in the thing he’s dedicated his life to.
He’s only made aware of your presence when you wrap your arms around his shoulders from behind. He finally takes those ridiculous headphones off, pausing the track and letting you rest your chin on the top of his head.
You look at the two monitors in front of him as though you have any idea what’s going on on the screens. “Hard at work, huh genius?”
You feel him cock his head under you and he hums gently, one of his large hands- something about him you first fell in love with when you saw it, pale and slender, gripping a microphone on stage- grabbing at yours. “Sorry,” He mumbles, and you can tell by the timber and the gruffness of his voice that he hasn’t spoken a word since he came into this room a couple of hours ago. “Lose track of time in this room. No windows.”
“S’okay Yoon. Just missed you is all.”
Your words are innocent but they tug at his heart and make him shut his eyes for a moment. He never wants to make you feel like second best, but the way he falls into things sometimes makes him forget that anything else exists in the world. But now he wants to be close to you, to touch you, to make it all up to you. 
“C’mere,” He’s tugging at the hand he has in his grip, and he keeps tugging until you’ve circled around his chair to stand in front of him. “Up on my lap, babe.” An offer you couldn’t refuse. So you don’t.
You’re straddling him now, well-toned but not overtly muscular thighs under you- a familiar and welcoming seat of yours. His warmth is comforting to you and vice versa. “I’ve been neglecting you, haven’t I?” You don’t want to say yes, afraid of hurting his feelings but the pout that graces your features gives it all away.
“I know, baby, I’m sorry,” One of his large hands comes up to cup your face, and he coos softly when you lean and nuzzle into his palm, as if he isn’t thinking of all the filthy and depraved things he’s been missing out on with you while he’s been cooped up in his studio. “‘M gonna make it up to you.”
And then his mouth is on yours, and you’re reminded why you love kissing Min Yoongi so much. He’s careful and intense, every movement backed by the same confidence and dominance he exudes when he’s on stage. It’s when you deepen the kiss, his tongue slipping into your mouth, skilled and tactful, that you realize you weren’t just here for a quick visit.
“Yoongi,” You murmur as soon as he’s pulling back, detaching your mouths. You’re momentarily hypnotized by the string of spit that still connects the two of you, staring at it until it breaks. Yoongi notices this fascination of yours, and give you a smirk you regret ever confessing to him you find sexy. 
“Are you getting all desperate for me, silly girl? Hm?” You can’t help but rut your hips against his own at the words, loving the way they fall out of his mouth so lazily but with as much purpose as a presidential speech. “So needy ‘nd squirmy for me… Love seeing you so fucking desperate, you know.” His hands are travelling up your sleep shirt- aka an old band shirt of his that you had staked your claim over before the two of you had even moved in together.
His hands don’t go where more inexperienced ones might immediately go but instead traverse up and down your back, leaving delicious goosebumps in their wake. You shiver both from the feeling, and from the anticipation of what’s to come. You go to take your shirt off but are stopped by two hands circled around your wrists. “Patience,” Yoongi’s voice is next to your ear now, as he’s pulled you down using the grip he has on you. 
He’s made it clear that while you may be on top of him, he’s the one with control. And he’s fucking revelling in it, you can see it in the sparkle in his eyes as he lets go of your wrists. “Don’t worry, baby, I’ll take care of you, I promise,” You trust him wholeheartedly, and communicate this with a nod. You know he understands when his hands slide down, under your shirt once more, this time staying far lower. 
“Soaking wet and I’ve barely even done anything,” He’s so cocky and you should be annoyed but you can’t find it in you, instead you feel yourself get even hotter at his words. “Panties off, little girl.”
His tone leaves no room for arguing, so you scramble to stand up and follow his demands, panties lost somewhere behind him. You go to get back onto your spot on his lap, missing it already, but are stopped once more by his hands. One is on your waist, holding you steady, only using a portion of its strength and the other is on your face, squishing your cheeks, opening your mouth and pushing your lips out obscenely. 
He looks like he’s still deciding what the hell to do with you, how hard to go. Then he’s cocking his head, brazen smirk back on his face as he pushes you down to your knees. The carpeting immediately makes the position uncomfortable as you feel it grating against the skin of your knees. But any discomfort is immediately quelled, or, at least, forgotten, at the sight and sound of Yoongi undoing his belt in front of you- any thoughts of your knees and carpet burn are replaced with the thoughts of Yoongi’s cock. He had that effect on you.
He chuckled at the look in your eyes, finally releasing himself from the confines of his jeans. He sighs at the release, cold air hitting his skin a shock to his rock hard dick. “Practically fucking drooling for this cock, aren’t you?” You nod earnestly and lean forward, towards his cock where his hand works over it lazily. He grabs a fistful of your hair with his other hand, withholding you from what you really want. “So fucking desperate, you slut. You wanna suck my cock so bad? You better do a good fucking job of it, convince me you deserve it in that slutty cunt of yours.”
You barely have time to think about how quickly he shifted from the sweet, loving Yoongi you normally know to this darker version of Yoongi, the one that comes out whenever he’s properly turned on before his hand that’s fisted in your hair is dragging you toward his achingly hard cock. You open your mouth, ready and willing, and mouth at his tip, letting your spit, your drool, collect and fall over it, dripping down the rest of his impressive length. You pull back to give the tip a gentle kiss, barely holding back a giggle when it jumps angrily at you
He breathes out heavily from his spot above you and yanks you back off his cock. “You wanna be a messy fucking tease? Fine. Open your mouth. Now,” You do as he says, not wanting to anger him further. 
He collects spit in his own mouth, and you're made to sit and wait patiently, hair a mess and mouth wide open. You don’t have to wait long until he spits into your mouth, the act so filthy, so dirty, you can only close your eyes and whimper, so turned on from it all that you can feel your own wetness starting to drip down your thighs. Messy. “Don’t swallow,” He doesn’t need to explain more as he leads you back to his cock.
You let the combination of your and his spit fall onto his cock, the act obscene but astoundingly erotic. You finally start to swallow down his length like you know he wants, your hands coming up to help. Both of his hands are in your hair now, entirely controlling your actions, the speed of which your sucking his cock.
He finally pushes you down as far as he can, your hands falling to his thighs. Your nose is against his stomach, tickled by the sparse amount of hair there. You can barely breathe from this position, but you take it if only for the groans you hear tumble out of his mouth. “Such a good girl, my best fucking slut,” You moan at the praise, the vibrations making his head fall back on his chair. There’s drool covering both him and your face now, tears welling at the corners of your eyes from the intensity, and every second you can feel yourself getting wetter.
His hands fall slack on your hair, but you don’t pull back just yet, instead, taking the opportunity to swallow around him once, twice, three times. He yanks you off of his cock, his breathing ragged and heavy. He looks at you with a half-lidded gaze. “Up.”
It’s only one word, but he doesn’t need anymore, not with a commanding tone like that. You get back on his lap, immediately calmed and comforted by the spot. He finally tears off the shirt, now wrinkled and covered in drool and precum. 
“Now fucking sit on it,” And you can hardly hold yourself back, eagerly lifting yourself up and positioning the head of his cock against your slick entrance. You let yourself fall, the whole of him filling you up perfectly, and so so good.
Yours and Yoongi’s groans mingle together in an unrivalled harmony, the two of you still for a moment as you bask in the feeling. “Being such a good fucking girl,” His hands work up and down your sides. “Now fuck yourself on my cock, and don’t you dare stop. Don’t stop until you full of my fucking cum, ‘till you’re my perfect, messy bitch.”
You start slowly, lifting yourself up until barely an inch is left in your pussy, and drop all the way back down. You continue like this, deep, strong strokes, slowly speeding up until your bouncing on his lap, the obscene sounds of the two of you filling the room, your very own symphony when combined with your groans.
“So good, baby, so fucking good, bouncing on my cock, gonna make such a fucking mess out of you, yeah?” He’s lifting his hips to meet yours, making every downstroke that much more intense. 
He lands a spank on your ass, then another, the sharp pain only serving to make you wetter and bounce on him harder. He chuckles in between moans. “You like that, huh? You’ll take anything I give you, ‘cause you’re my perfect little whore.”
You can feel the crescendo coming, building up like a tsunami. “Yoongi- Yoongi please, please, you have to let me come,” Any other time you’d have reservations about begging, but when it came to Yoongi, all pride was left at the door. “Need it.”
“I have to? I don’t have to do anything, whore,” His hand is back on your face, lips puckering out again. You nod in desperate agreement. He’s collecting spit in his mouth once more and you open your mouth wider in anticipation of what’s about to come. He spits in your mouth again, this time wanting you to swallow. It’s a dirty act, so vulgar, and you both groan at the site.
“You see that, slut? You swallow my spit, bounce on my cock and cum for me, all when I fucking tell you to? You understand?”“Yes, Yoongi I do, I’m sorry, please, I’m sorry, jus’ lemme cum.”
“Yeah, yeah, do it, fucking come for me.”
And cum you do, the feeling washing over you like nothing else, eyes closing and your head burrowing itself into Yoongi’s neck, the smell of his sweat comforting. You can hear Yoongi talking himself and you through your orgasms, but the words are too much for you to focus on. You can only feel his cum fill you up, already starting to spill out of you.
You’re both panting in the aftermath, his hands, once harsh, now softly caressing your back. The two of you are slick and sticky with sweat, but it’s the last thing on your minds.
“You still need to work on that song or are you finally gonna come to bed?”
“Please, neither of us are leaving that bed for the next 48 hours, besides to get the door for the take out we order.”
“Sounds perfect.”
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bxebxee · 6 years
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ok and i know yr on break so dont feel pressured to answer or anything!! and im sorry for writing a whole novel in yr inbox, i was trying to figure out how they might build up to actual penetrative sex and i got rlly invested 😳
omg do you know how much i love you!!!!!! I hope EVERYONE clicks on the read more because you are the best anon!!!!! I bolded and underlined my favorite bits and wrote a tiny thing at the end because you’re the BEST. I haven’t felt this rush-inspired in such a long time!!! Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank youuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!
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becky i was thinking ab yr nj humiliation drafts ([one] [two] [three] [four] [five] [six]) and how they might progress and i started thinking ab rope bondage and how at first she was too nervous to touch him but once she gets more comfortable its all she wants to do!! but hes worried bc of how restrained/repressed shes been in the past and to keep her from jumping the gun he starts tieing her up?? (1/5)
and its small things at first like restraining her hands behind her back so she wont touch him or herself while he makes himself cum (and then maybe if shes good and doesnt complain he’ll let her ride his fingers to get off, hers still tied behind her back. or if hes feeling mean he makes her grind herself against a pillow or the arm of his couch while he watches) (2/5)
and some mornings he’ll have her come over and strip so he can tie her up and then redress over the knots and spend the rest of the day like that under her clothes (esp patterns where the ropes pull straight up between her legs) and when he takes them off at the end of the day and hes rubbing her down where the skin mightve chaffed shes way more affected than she thought she’d be and comes untouched? (3/5)
and then one day when they both have a free day he spiral ties her legs and restrains her arms behind her and then after he makes sure shes comfortable and knows her limits he just- leans back on the bed and starts reading his book like she isnt tied up and at his mercy right next to him? (4/5)
and when he finally puts down his book after what feels like forever instead of doing anything right away he throws back to how this all started and tells her if she wants him to touch her tonight shes going to have to tell him exactly what she wants from him in excruciating detail. and before she can even think about it, this barely coherent, desperate plea for him to just fuck her escapes. and then after shes calmed down and can speak properly he does exactly as she asks. (5/5)
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You’re nearly in tears when Namjoon puts his book down - finally, fucking finally. You hate crying in front of anyone because there’s always so much snot that goes into production. It’s the furthest thing from pretty or ladylike or decent. You don’t want to show Namjoon that side of you just yet.
There is an ache that’s been building at your core for quite some time that’s exacerbated by the numbness you feel at your legs and hands. It’s not the most uncomfortable thing in the world, but people have a tendency to overlook the importance of fidgeting in every day life. You know that you certainly didn’t know how much you missed simple movement until Namjoon tied you up and allowed you to “relax” for a hot second.
At first it felt fine - good even. He asked you a million questions about your comfort, and it just felt like you were laying down. And you might have been able sleep were it not for the itch on your nose that bloomed unexpectedly.
It’s the small things in life that set you off, and fixation over a small itch made you desire free hands like nothing else. The only way you could get over it was to focus on Namjoon reading silently at his desk, feet propped up as he concentrated on the book before him.
He looked so good, so perfect - all long limbs and careless expression of height for no reason. His fingers turned a page and your mouth went dry. You had never been jealous of paper before in your life.
You could have begged him to scratch your nose for you, but it seemed like such a silly reason to interrupt his reading. And it wasn’t until he made eye contact that you were pushed into some weird territory of desire. But Namjoon didn’t stop reading. You knew he was actively absorbing whatever it was he was reading because he had his literature face on - scrunched eyebrows that moved expressively as he took in the text.
Your boyfriend is a pervert, but so are you. By the time your mind has sent you to and from four different fantasy trips, each involving Namjoon’s pretty cock, your lips are dry from sucking in too much air. It’s a sharp contrast to the way your panties feel.
He puts his book down, and your heart races.
“You’re so obvious,” he says, eyes dripping with fondness.
“I’m not hiding anything,” you tell him, sincere and horny. “I want you so bad.”
And Namjoon is overjoyed really, and so, so proud that you’ve come this far. You admit things to him, but more importantly, to yourself without shame. You’re the same woman he met, but he’s pretty sure you’re a bit happier.
Namjoon pushes because that’s what he’s good at.
“I can tell,” he replies, undoing a few buttons of his shirt. He’s about ninety-nine percent sure he’s going to make you cum tonight. “But I’m not going to touch you until you’re more specific.”
You moan, biting your lip as your arousal grinds a heavy ax on your core.
“You need to tell me every, little detail,” Namjoon orders, “or I’m not doing anything.”
It’s excruciating the way you open your lips for nothing to come out. Speak, your mind begs. You’ve just had four delicious fantasies for material, and yet there’s a disconnect between your mind and your mouth. All you can think about is the lump in his pants covering his cock, and the way that cock felt in your dreams.
And you’ve done everything with him except actual, vaginal, penetrative sex. Namjoon makes your jaw hurt and your throat raw whenever you suck at him, and not a day goes by when you don’t think about how sore your vagina would feel with him stretching you out. Just two of his fingers feel like the end of the world for you.
Despite your reservations about penetration, you want to experience it. You want Namjoon to experience it. You’ve watched so much porn together - you seated on his lap with one of his long fingers shoved up your pussy while the two of you viewed some girl getting pounded by a well-endowed man. Every time you pictured Namjoon would one day try fucking you just like that.
A whine escapes your throat as the images are too clear in your mind. Namjoon has you face down on the bed in your fantasy, spreading apart your asscheeks with two hands to scrutinize your holes. He’s picking one to fuck and settles on rubbing his cock against your filthy slit weeping with arousal.
Namjoon in real life is patient as he sees you working up the courage. You waited for him as he read, and he could most certainly wait for you.
“Fuck me,” you whisper, and the expletive sounds like a gunshot even though your tone is softer than feathers. You close your eyes. “F-fuck me… ngh.” And in your head, the fantasy of Namjoon sinking in and using you until he’s satisfied play out again and again until the only things that come out of your mouth are sad little begs.
Namjoon still waits, taking in the show you’re putting on for him because it’s not every day you fantasize about him right in front of his eyes. He likes to watch you think things through.
You take long, shuttering gasps of air to calm the fuck down because you need to talk if any of this had a snowball’s chance in hell of coming true. And after some tens of seconds go by where the only thing you do is think of absolutely nothing, you are finally able to open your eyes and dislodge the stopper between brain and mouth.
“I wish you would untie me first,” you start. It’s not a question or a request. “Then undress me. Undress yourself. Touch me.”
“Slow down,” Namjoon chuckles. “You’re skipping all the good stuff.”
“All I want is for you to spread me open with those big hands of yours and shove your cock in whatever hole you want,” you continue as if he never said anything. You didn’t care about going through what he wanted because this is your fantasy, and he’s just here for the ride.
“Keep going.”
Good, you think. Namjoon is playing along.
“You’re going to choose my pussy.”
“Interesting that I have no say in my own choice.”
“Shut up.”
Namjoon’s heart seems to stutter in its beating, and he can tell you’re also surprised by your own outburst. He’s almost scared that you’re going to backtrack and take it back, because you were doing so good so far.
“Um,” you pause, “yeah… shut up.”
He can’t help but to smile when you forge ahead, and he zips his lips like the obedient boyfriend he wants to be for you.
“You go in slow just to test me. First the tip to see if I can take it at all. And then you push right in even though it feels like I’m going to spit you out.”
This is exhilarating. Your mind provides words for you easily, as if you’re lying down in bed with your phone in hand typing out something naughty for Namjoon. It feels just like that moment of freedom, and you relish it.
“You don’t go slow,” you say with a laugh. “You’re fucking me for you.”
“Stop right there,” Namjoon interrupts. “I’m going to untie you.”
“Thank you.”
It doesn’t take long for Namjoon to remove the ties and toss them off the bed. He massages your arms and legs to help with the circulation and holds you as you shake from the pins and needles shooting its unpleasantness up and down your body.
“Is it going to be tonight?” Namjoon asks. “Because we don’t have to.”
You smile, a little teary because the pain was real after the ties were loosened. “I really want it to be tonight.”
Namjoon kisses your forehead.
“Okay.”
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help me
Anon writes:
i need advice. i’m in my late 20s/disabled depressed & unemployed. trying to get govt help but no luck im in this one program but they stopped calling me should I call back and bug them? I’m also considering college advisers but idk they’re my last resort i dont know where else to turn for help No other relatives care. I’m desperate and wish someone would give me a chance.. im running out of time. and I hate how my cousins family come here from overseas with 0 exp and get asked if they want to attend school or work and 3 months later they’re doing better then me in a year. my mom she’s mid 60s basically, and she wants to retire to her home country taking me with her permanently. thing is I don’t want to go and live there because why go from 1st world to 3rd world. there its no resources for disabled ppl and they’re treated like shit. also it’s hot I hate bugs no good shower gotta bathe outside no plumbing plus wifi over there its shit and how can i watch my tv shows, go on tumblr for escape.. and my Cousins there got there own lives to live so I won’t see them much. I rather stay here in usa and be homeless with food stamps then in a shack box with incoming tsunami warnings . what should I do? find a way to stay here or suck it up and leave forever somewhere unknown while being forever depressed and suicidal. plus she says ill get more freedom.. like really? when i was there for “vacay” i didnt do shit got invited to the beach couldnt go, movies nope, library nope even walking across the street nope also kids there wont stop staring at me and calling me names and saying “go backto your country you filthy american we dont want you here and i get thrown rock at :( plus feral dogs and cats with high risk of disease if i got bit which i almost did theres no good medical help and they show up late like i witnessed both from someone else. plus excuse my horrid grammar my writing skills arent proficient since its apart of my disorder. what should i do?! i got six months left to figure it out im also trying to apply for jobs even though i have no exp apply anyway all i have is name and address thanks.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Anon, it sounds like you have a lot of things on your plate! I sympathize with you in more than one way and while I’m not an expert, hopefully I can help you make sense of some things! I’m unsure of what kind of disability you have. Can you go out and do things on your own? If yes, don’t be afraid to apply to all jobs you think you’ll do ok at, even if it is flipping burgers. No job is degrading if it’s paying for the roof above your head. That’s how you start getting experience. You say you’re in your late 20s so you’ll have an advantage as far as getting a job at places like that. In fact, you might be able to move up fast BECAUSE of your age. But don’t quote me on that. You seem to be into technology too. Why not apply at Best Buy? Or Gamestop? Or Target’s electronic section (?) or something that might interest you? Having goals, as small as they are, helps you get out of bed every morning and try your hardest. Go to the mall and walk around. See if there’s a store that’s hiring and consider if you would like to work at that store. It’s tempting to go after the jobs that offer the most money but if you have no experience, it’s a waste of time. For now. You’ll get there. It also sounds like going back to that other country with your mom is absolutely not an option for you. So that’s that. If you don’t want to go back, whether it is because it’s a third world country (it sounds like it) or because of racism (also sounds like it?) or because you plain don’t like that place, you should actively try your earnest to stay here in the US. How? Well, if your mom is leaving, you’ll need a place to stay. Again, I’m not sure about your type of disability, if it’s mental or physical, or how much it stops you for doing every day things. If you can start by getting a job, a simple job that doesn’t pressure you that much but pays enough, that would suffice. Unless you get a pretty good no-experience-required job, more than likely you won’t have enough to afford your own place by yourself (Don’t feel bad about this. We all start somewhere). Roommates might be something you’ll have to look into. You talked about College Advisors. I’ll assume you’re going to college. Is there a way you can live on campus? Work at the college? Even some community colleges will try and help you out. I’d definitely reach out to College advisors. It might feel weird to open up to them but you never know. It sounds like you need all the help you can get and you’ll be surprised by what they can do. I’d also keep bugging the government regarding the help you’re requesting. But be smart and polite about it. If you do get a hold of someone, get them to tell you how long you should wait, then go back and keep bugging them until you get answers. For example, I am fighting my own battle with the government. They told me to wait until the end of this month to hear back from them. If I don’t hear from them by then, I’ll be right and early at their offices, calling, emailing them, spamming their mail, whatever it is i have to do until I’ve exhausted my resources. I know it sounds simpler than what it is and I’m sorry you’ve reached that place where it feels like there’s nowhere else to go. This might not mean a lot right now but you’re not alone; we’ve all been there. An as cliched as it sounds, once you’ve reached the bottom, there’s nowhere else to go but up. So now that you’ve set the card on the table, develop a plan. -Family won’t help? Start trying to look for help somewhere else. Don’t spend more time wasting resources here. -Government won’t reply? Keep at it until you get answers. -No experience? No problem! Choose a simple job that requires no experience and that you can enjoy. -Third world country not an option? Good, look into all options that can keep you here where you feel comfortable. This is your life! Of course this is all up in the air. But even if things don’t go your way, at least you’ve tried. And that doesn’t mean that at that moment is when you’re allowed to give up. You HAVE to keep fighting for what you want and what makes you happy. The fight will never stop but it will be worth it. Things do get better from time to time. It’s worth being around for those moments when things pay off, even if it is in ways that you don’t expect. Hang in there, anon. I really hope this helped somewhat.
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