#INSANE thoughts sorry if im literally saying whatever i watched that ep the other day and it hasnt left my mind

[vonlipvig]

i can't stop going back to the waffle party scene in severance. and like, correct me if i'm wrong or add your thoughts, cause i just finished the show yesterday so thoughts are merely simmering here, but like...what the fuck, right?

like, that's a sex thing. disguised as a food reward. as a work perk. and of course work perks as a whole are macabre enough in this context, but like...it's so fucked up. do they know, at least at first, what they're in for? and the thought alone of using sex--or not even sex, but like, sensuality? the body?--as a reward for work?

and then like, i can't fucking stop thinking about the flogging whip thing with the virtues of kier or whatever the fuck on each whip? like, it's not even just a sex thing, it's a bdsm sex thing. and how does that play out in this scenario? cause if it's not purely for the theater of it all then good god, right? would the employee be meant to take the dominant role or the submissive one here? i don't even know what's worse. either you're meant to take pleasure in the disciplinary action, of wielding those virtues and inflicting them on others, or you're literally meant to 'take them' and find enjoyment in that submission to the company.

like, what if your whole life was flipping burgers at mcdonald's, and one day your boss is like 'you flipped burgers so good you can now eat some fries', so you go to ronald mcdonald's house and eat your fries and then you go to ronald mcdonald's bed and the hamburglar beats you with a deep fryer basket thing while you're meant to yell i'm lovin' it.

[valentinesparda]

🎫 here's a gush pass ^^ feel free to gush about whichever f/o you want, however much you want, then send this ask to 3 other selfshippers

@lunaeloves oh lucky you I just woke up from a lil nap before I'm gonna end up going to my friend's apartment later tonight and I - predictably - cannot stop thinking about like 6 different f/os right now but I'm gonna edge towards some good eldritch babes (and some not-eldritch babes) for this SUPER LONG RAMBLING ASK IM SORRY IN ADVANCE

first of all, since I haven't stopped playing it on repeat for the past two days, The Baddest preview dropped so I'm obligated to touch on evelynn (or more accurately I would love to touch on evelynn but that's neither here nor there), and whew boy do I love women. and eldritch beings. I f/o quite a few of those now, too. the only disappointing part is how short her section in the song actually is. anyways hello have you not seen my wife?? you're gonna!!

I haven't stopped thinking about this new outfit since I saw it. shes called "the diva" for God's sake. her stupid diamond encrusted claw rings only on the middle finger are making me lose it in the gayest way possible. the cheeky over-top-of-the-sunglasses stare is gonna put me in an early grave. have I talked about how her eyes are like a sunset?? or how her hair looks so soft and long and I want nothing more than to run my fingers through it because this is the longest I think her hair has ever been?? I'm legally not allowed to open my mouth about the open low neckline she has going on there but anyways ms evelynn leagueoflegends please dm me I have feelings for you and there's a lot of them

okay on to the next one which....thinking about writing This gush is making me feel like this rn

bc I haven't really gushed about him yet but boy is it time

so. can we talk about hellsing alucard. can we talk about how cool he is. will you allow me this moment of time in this day to let me try to coherently string a line of thought that isn't just me garbling uncontrollably about this funky eldritch boy?? lets observe shall we--

listen. I fully went into watching hellsing ultimate for the first time just thinking he was like. okay. I was highkey only in it for Sir Integra (still am please dm me ma'am) and then by the midway point in ova episode 2 I was like "okay maybe he's kinda cool" and then by the END of said episode when he is absolutely feasting upon luke valentine's dumb ass and he first activates his protocol or whatever I'm still half asleep I ended up kinda jumping around the entire time just having a GREAT time watching the anime and you can ASK my friends for confirmation on this I could not shut up.

[ side note uh I love jan valentine?? bitch sucks but oh my God is he not the most entertaining character I've met so far, he beats out rip van winkle who I thought just from their look that I would adore but surprise!! go listen to PREY FOR ME/3 by FEVER 333 for an excellent jan valentine song. no I will Not shut up ]

alucard is....he's so goddamn cool?? he's batshit insane for seemingly no reason and over the top and he's FUNNY!! there's something incredibly endearing about him being a vampire in the late 90's who literally just like. does That?? I can't fully explain my thoughts because we would be here longer than we have been and it's complicated right now without me fully experiencing his character and being able to pick him apart outside of the reader inserts I've been reading lmao. it'll probably get worse as I watch the anime and develop more thoughts and feelings. also I've already talked about this on Twitter but his LOOK IN THE BEGINNING OF OVA EP 3?? HELLO????

god I fucking love you. you're so greasy and weird and creepy and fun and I'm GOING to make out with you

coughs. anyways.

i can also say that I've been wholeheartedly avoiding spoilers for the rest of the anime since I stopped on episode 4 WHICH I ALSO ENJOYED IMMENSELY BECAUSE HE HAS A BLACKBIRD?? A CUSTOMIZED HELLSING ORGANIZATION SR-71?? THIS DECADES OLD VAMPIRE EXISTING IN 1999 HAS HIS OWN PERSONAL MILITARY AIRCRAFT AND KNOWS HOW TO FLY IT?? HE CRASHES IT INTO A NAZI SHIP?? EVERYTHING HE RUINS TURNS INTO A BURNING CROSS!! HE ABSOLUTELY EVISCERATED EVERYONE ON THAT SHIP AND IT HAD ME LOSING MY MIND. I'm excited to be able to continue watching the anime and eventually finish it so that I can continue to be a stupid little pansexual mess of a goth

honorable mentions go to sir integra who I would be willing to cross oceans to just have her reject my marriage proposal and possibly have her threaten me with her saber or her gun idc whichever one is more convenient for her at the time. I just want her to slow dance with me in the moonlight and dip me down low in a kiss that we shouldn't be sharing

and pip bernadotte who is Such a good boy and I am going to hold his face in my hands and kiss and compliment him until he is nothing but a melted pile of affection and then braid his hair with ribbons and flowers and all of that wonderful stuff while he talks about everything he's ever experienced in life

okay thank you for reading and GOOD NIGHT LAS VEGAS!!!! *smashes a glass plate before I can be booed off the stage*

[callmeminseok]

i wasnt around for ot12, and i wanna know more about luhan so i figured why not come to you, LuhanStan69, for information????

ok well first of all, the name luhanstan69 is…. .…. .. .  . horrific and i want it tattooed on my ass .. .. . and second of all …. i was also not around for ot12….. but i can still show u the world (im so sorry just…….click on the bold links,,,,i didnt mean for this 2 happen)

ok so : my man… first name han last name lu and it means dawn deer and he really fucking looks like a deer?? his eyes are so big and sparkly and his features are really delicate and soft but don’t be fooled he really takes no prisoners and will fight literally anyone (here is him yelling at a saesang driver who was recklessly driving, like he really doesn’t take any shit one time at the airport he showed the fancameras that a saesang was calling his phone also the song Roleplay exists in which he basically tells his saesang fans that he will Fuck Them Up if they keep trying him,,,…,.,. a legend if u will) he was born april 20, 1990 and technically he’s a taurus by some calendars and aries by others but he said fuck it im an aries and whatever he says is law so he’s an aries. 

mmmm he’s an extremely talented vocalist and dancer (he was main vocal for m and their lead dancer also the visual). im not sure how familiar you are with exo m but I will recommend moonlight and what is love as songs that really show off luhan’s vocals from his exo era. as far as dance goes this is a classic mmm also his solo from the lost planet for the star is a treasure that must be preserved tbh. um anyways ya luhan was the bomb in exo m but he’s also the bomb solo!! his last exo concert was the 140921 tlp in beijing and he left exo in october of 2014 due to lack of support for luhan’s career and obvious health issues (if u watch fancams from his last stage u can see his face is swollen on one side and pictures of his eye being fucked up and he was having really bad chronic headaches i think i dont remember exactly also he fell down during let out the beast and is clearly in pain sorry im not trying 2 write a defend luhan leaving piece but this info isn’t really circulated now so it’s easy to write off him leaving as for just money or whatever)

and then luhan took a break!! he recovered his health in his home beijing and came back with : That Good Good say what u will abt the song either it’s ur style or not idc but the choreo is nice and his face is….stellar.. from there luhan worked toward releasing his album Reloaded which sold like hotcakes :( my baby :( The Star™️ and he started to truly become The Star™️ once he became a member of Running Man China (now titled Keep Running due to S Korean/Chinese political issues) and began to take on movies like The Witness (he also did the ost for the witness titled Medals which blew tf up and was used for the Rio 2016 Olympics) and Time Raiders. he then held his first !! solo !! concert !! in early 2016 aka the Reloaded series ft. three absolutely beautiful hair colors: mint/blue/green pink purple and some ridiculous wardrobe changes and he kicked ass :( and his fame in china rly skyrocketed like this man….endorses the entire planet (off the top of my head he is/was the spokesperson/endorser for: kfc, crest, lenovo, some bike company thing, puma, cartier, coke, sony, gap, lancome, l’occitane en provence, canon, kung fu panda, star wars (he got his own star wars song like exo has lightsaber but lu got the inner force….iconic), ummmmm what else idk i can’t remember anymore oh wait ADIDAS he literally was just announced for adidas today….an icon mayhaps?) anyways ya hims the Shit in china and he’s like the king of weibo?? like he holds a guinness world record for weibo….amazing

ok moving on to my :( favorite part …. when he put out catch me when i fall in oct 2016. This is it. This is That Song tbh. This is when he became the King of Aesthetics and Music. The MV is beautiful and so are the lyrics (i really encourage you to read the lyrics for the song bc they really show a lot about luhan and i fell absolutely undeniably in love with him when i read them). And from there he litralee cannot be stopped im not gonna make u read my opinion on all of them but his absolute best releases since then (keep in mind im talking abt in the like 7 months….he has put out so many songs AND mv’s for all of them plus teasers it’s really insane) are skin to skin , what if i said , and on call . truly … the mf king of aesthetics. i expect his next full album will come out probably around july/august…he’s really been building up to it with his mini albums so it will probably be more or less a repackage of all of those minis but ya !! keep ur eyes peeled!!

beyond his performance stuff he’s really the most passionate, dedicated, hardworking, and talented guy. He works so hard like it is astounding. He is so incredibly inspirational and i really just think he’s a good person and frankly i would trust him with my life. He really cares for his lufans and wants them to be safe and happy even international lufans like he puts english subtitles on all of his mv’s and now his bts videos also have eng subs like…..he doesn’t have to and yet? he’s there….doing it all. he also has fan events for his bday like one year he had a soccer event on his bday and made it livestreamed so that fans at home could watch too  :( he’s just v thoughtful :(

TL;DR: luhan is the sweetest boy on the planet and he just wants to make aesthetic bops and play w cats and live his life happily and freely. he is the most precious thing to me and he deserves all the love in the world. also he is a human meme and Lu is his magnum opus if u want to see more of lu i highly recommend Running Man (this is his first ep, and these two are my favorites) and episodes 2, 5, and 9 of exo showtime are my favorite lu episodes. u can catch him in the movie The Great Wall w matt damon and a bunch of v famous chinese actors and singers lmfao i just got it from redbox the other day lu is so cute um also he’s in a cdrama rn called Fighter of the Destiny which is all eng subbed on youtube the cgi is like ridiculously cheesy kinda power rangers feel but his face and sweet acting…..it’s enough 4 me….anything luhan does is enough 4 me

[survivor-hosts]

Ep. #3- “HELL NO”- Sam

The tribes were presented with an immunity challenge offering up an advantage at the cost of losing your tribe immunity.  A few people pondered taking it trying to think of excuses they could use for doing it.  After 20 hours of no one taking it the rules changed that during the last hour you could get it anonymously.  This sparked everyone's interest and almost every player intended on messaging right at 10pm to claim the advantage.  Once the Three Muskequeers alliance found out that Austin was looking to snatch it up, and them wanting to vote him out anyway, Sam decided she would tell her alliance she would claim the advantage publicly so no one else could get it.  Sam received the Sapphire Idol.  Austin was voted out unanimously.

One of these fuckups is gonna take the advantage and we're gonna go back to tribal and my idiot ass is gonna have to pick a damn side already and make at least two enemies. This is not what I want. This is not what I planned. And I just gotta say-y-y. I do not understand!

So Regan just left and I'm relieved cause I knew right from the beginning that I would have a huge target with her being here. Sucks cause it would have been nice to play a season with her but oh well. Anyways, the immunity is "Temptation" and as of now Lydia, Sam, and I are contemplating on throwing the challenge. Not gonna lie I'm extremely tempted to take it advantage for myself personally and here's why 1. I can take the advantage and our tribe can easily vote out Austin, making him the third boot for the third time in a row cause no one has a good feeling about him (ngl that'd be really funny to see happen sorry Austin) 2. I can lie and tell people the advantage was the Amulet of Abduction (obviously keeping the real advantage to myself) and tell people I'm gonna use that after this tribal just to relieve the target off of my back. Right now Lydia and Sam are saying Jessy/Matt are on the bottom so by saving one of them I can obtain allies for down the road 3. I can make the message look like I'm saying hello and getting ready for work and say "i thought i was talking in the tribe chat" and really apologize for what I did so I'll tell everyone in the tribe that I got the amulet and I'm just gonna use it next round just so that way its off my chest cause I "didn't want it in the first place" The only thing is it might look suspicious to everyone. But if I really play the message up like an error and apologize for it I might be able to get away with it. MIGHT.... this would be a really risky move to make early on in the game. However, you need to take risks in order to do well. It truly just all depends on the timing of it all, and when an opportunity to make a big move presents itself one should normally take it. This is just a late night idea though so I need to do some investigating on the "Matt/Jessy" tea before really putting my plan into effect 

Okay I know I just submitted a video but also like. With this challenge we can literally coordinate for one of us in the 5 person alliance to get the advantage so that no one from the other tribe gets it and Austin or Connor doesn't get it. I don't see anyone (including myself) stepping up to the hypothetical plate but hey, ya never know. It would also just make sense because if we go to the tribal, we as an alliance with someone holding the advantage safely could just get together to vote out Austin or Connor anyway. I might talk to Scott and/or David about it tomorrow if the stand off is still happening at that time.

Can't wait to be third boot

it took 11 days for my internet to come back where it should've only took 3 days

I'm actually mad at Regan for how little I could trust her after she made up that lie about me getting votes because she said something near the end that was probably a lie, but if it wasn't, would have badass ramifications to the game. Like it's brilliant. So when I pressed her about her "vote stealer" she changed her story completely and said it was an obsidian idol, originally from India. It's something you give to someone else and convince them to play on themselves, and if they do, they lose their vote at the tribal they play it on, or get a self-vote, or something. I don't know the exact specifics. And chances are Regan was just looking for a new lie when I seemed to be leaning on her vote stealer a little too heavily and she realized it wouldn't work, and India was fresh in her mind and also her season so she said the first thing she thought of. I know this. But what if she actually did get one? What if as a reward for choosing to become captain, you get a power or advantage that was given in the season you hosted? What if, in our choices of who becomes captain, we're actually shaping the game in terms of the powers that are in play? I don't know that it's actually the case because like a lot of seasons didn't have specialty items, I don't think Solomon did, I don't think Sri Lanka did, I know Malaysia didn't (although Machu might've but whatever). But like seriously, how insanely spectacular would that be? IDK I don't think there are enough powers from these seasons to pull that off so for now it's just future ideas. But if it somehow is happening, YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST!!!

NNNNNN I wanna take the advantage anonymously so bad. The thing is, we would probably just vote out Austin. But the one round I said I really wouldn't wanna vote him is the 3rd boot round. So then it would have to be Connor because he's the other one not in the alliance. But I don't wanna vote Connor. And like the other thing is, my alliance could very well just decide that one of us take it and then vote out Austin. Idk. If we lose anyway I would wanna take him out. I'm just hoping no one does from my tribe without it being someone in the alliance and them telling us. Because then that would cause paranoia. I hate this so so so so much I just want the other tribe to lose please and thank you.

[9:26:20 PM] Jessy: I bet I'm the only one being entertaining on this tribe rn.. [9:26:20 PM] Jessy: BKLMSDAKFMLSA [9:26:32 PM] Jessy: mj in his conf chat: Ugh have you watched this movie Trevor? It's 10/10 stars. [9:26:47 PM] Jessy: allison: TREVOR WHY'D YOU SEND AN EMOJI HERE I THOUGHT IT WAS OUR PMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [9:27:10 PM] Jessy: drew: Omg lol Matt just gave me an advantage and I can't wait to find an idol [9:27:24 PM] Jessy: matt: silence [9:27:40 PM] Jessy: connor: OMG I GRADUATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [9:27:56 PM] Jessy: josh: Hey I'm not gonna have internet for a few more days just to let you know haha [9:28:13 PM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: Make a confessional

https://68.media.tumblr.com/c57a58f0d413bbb47589990910d5c2f5/tumblr_o7liixFGQM1snwhbeo7_250.gif I was not planning on doing that but Austin really just set me off and I want him fucking gone! https://68.media.tumblr.com/919b9070e70a645f869822d991e664af/tumblr_oh0gstX39L1snwhbeo1_250.gif You don't get to use personality flaw and aspergers in the same sentence especially without knowing a persons history. https://68.media.tumblr.com/82bf4dc25677985e228d96635b18699e/tumblr_oh0gstX39L1snwhbeo3_250.gif https://68.media.tumblr.com/8421828988b62d30cbdb3e8125a38a7a/tumblr_o75h0o1okf1snwhbeo8_250.gif Like fucking night one he's like "i live in florida like trump" 1) doesn't trump live in the fucking white house?? 2) don't fucking mention trump around gays 3) then don't say "i don't like talking about politics cause people judge me" LIKE IF YOU DONT BRING IT UP IM NOT GONNA ASK! https://68.media.tumblr.com/bbae53b6b5edeaa0b19e2c673c56a1ad/tumblr_inline_o6vzilQPBb1rjyihp_500.gif anyways he told scoot he was gonna go for it at 10 so I was like HELL NO so I put a gay smile to make sure he couldn't get it. oops! then austin was like "oh that must suck for people who wanted it" sucks to be you austin. I really hope he goes and I didn't just get myself voted out...

RIP cause I said I would make a video but didn't feel like doing so Anyways, after waking up and going to work, I realized it would be dumb for me to pull my late night idea. I don't think I have strong relationships to really get away with pulling this off. Plus after I spoke with Sam and Lydia, they don't think the Amulet is the item being given out. So I really don't think it would work and I would have really put a huge target on my back. Plus for all I know we may swap next round so you never really know what could happen. However, it was brought to my attention through Austin that he wanted to go for the advantage once it was revealed he could get it anonymously. I do not approve of this because he's the one that I want voted out more than anyone else, so I immediately brought it to Sam and Lydia. We basically decided it would be best to snatch it now, and vote him out while we have the opportunity to do so. Sam snatched that quicker than anyone else, and she ended up getting the Sapphire Idol (lord i better not be the victim of it again). Austin also made a controversial comment to Sam by saying he doesn't like his step-siblings being autistic, so at this point I am ready for him to go. It really is difficult getting a message from him every morning because I know the conversations I have with him are not genuine and like I want to actually have friends out of this (and win), but it would be nice to have friends. All I know is we definitely won't be friends after this game

http://prntscr.com/fjyj3x

[12:19:09 AM] Jessy: I can't believe Sam McCanada is here to vote me off for a third time [12:19:10 AM] Jessy: LKBJASKLDFJSDAKLFASDLM [12:19:13 AM] Jessy: LIKE [12:20:03 AM] Jessy: i need to have [12:20:04 AM] Jessy: a SERIOUS convo w mj. [12:20:10 AM] Jessy: listen idc if ure fuck buddies with connah. [12:20:12 AM] Jessy: HE'S WITH THEM! [12:20:20 AM] Jessy: and idc if ur BUTT buddies with lydia. [12:20:22 AM] Jessy: SHES WITH THEM! [7:48:51 AM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: Fuck buddies sgajdjdkdkfc [5:26:40 PM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: Congratulations!  You have found the Tatzelwurm.  The longer you hold on to it the stronger it becomes.  You will be updated along the way as it's power grows. [5:27:06 PM] Jessy: Omg? [5:28:26 PM] Jessy: HAHA SAM FUCK THAT! [5:28:32 PM] Jessy: I HAVE A TATZELWURM! [5:28:37 PM] Jessy: UR IDOL CANT COMPARE! [5:33:31 PM] Jessy: Whew I did that [5:38:39 PM] Jessy: I'm not telling matt fuck him [5:38:39 PM] Jessy: LSJSLKJJK [5:38:44 PM] Jessy: he's gna work w/ lydia [5:39:06 PM] Jessy: if this was one world? [5:39:11 PM] Jessy: me: DAVID AND SCOTT BLINDSIDE HA!

Austin is CRACKT! He really does think he is running this tribe and boy he aint. Sam, Andrew, Scott and I have a 4 person alliance and we will be so set for a swap and for a few more rounds after that especially since Sam has the Saaphire idol! I really hope this group sticks together because I love it so much

It's official, Austin is going home and I am so ecstatic!! Everyone is on board and he should be going 6-1 if everything goes as planned. Hopefully it does. Right now I'm on a call with the Ice Scream chat (prev. Pure Four) and we are so relieved that he is going home soon. Praise the lord