#IS IT AL-DEN LIKE ALVIN???

[bookwyrminspiration]

hey um wait a minute important question do you pronounce it AL-den or ALL-den. al like alvin. or ahl like all. because I think the world is crashing down around me

[argothiathedreamer]

Still Breathing Part One: Into the Tiger's Den

Chapter 8: It Comes Back With Teeth To Bite

Rating: Teen and Up Summary: Tim goes back in time to avert the end of the universe, but things quickly go awry and he’s left with an important decision to make: Carry through with the plan as he originally intended; Or make a risky play to change things for the better. Argothia’s Notes: I DID IT I DIIIIIIID IT! IDIDIT!!!! After a full year of agonizing and struggling it's DONE! *deep breath* AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

-

Alvin would be mad about the bag over his head – Really? A bag? It’s insulting! – but the material is really expensive so at least he’s being treated like a guest. It’s like when normal people break out the good silverware when company comes over, except it’s Ra’s so it has to be sinister. Ultimately it’s pointless anyway. Fighting King Snake was more than enough practice for assessing his surroundings without his sight.

He can hear gulls crying overhead and smell a brisk sea breeze when they drag him out of the car and make him walk across some kind of dirt path. Likely an island somewhere in the Mediterranean. He thinks he knows this base. It makes sense if it is that one. Good, he knows his way around it already then. He feels the ground turn from dirt to stone and the assassins – Oxana and Lottie are their names, Alvin managed to get them to tell him that much on the way over. – are reluctantly cautious with him as they reach a set of steps.

They descend quite deep under the ground until finally they reach a short corridor that leads to a much bigger, curved hallway. Hanging a left they walk for a while. Alvin notes that they seem to pass a lot of open doors and corridors on the left side, but nothing on the right until abruptly they come to a large doorway that the assassins herd him through. They walk him to the center of the large room beyond and dramatically remove the hood.

In front of Alvin is a series of steps leading up to a landing, bordered by satin curtains, where there’s an elegant and ornate chaise longue covered in silken pillows and fabric, atop which sits Ra’s al Ghul. He’s dressed in a loose fitting, white shirt and black pants along with his usual green cape. It’s an outfit that’s easy to move in quickly and there’s a sword leaning against the chaise near to hand. It seems Alvin’s being taken at lease a little seriously.

Doing his best to seem suitably impressed, Alvin looks around the room, making no attempt to hide the fact that he’s assessing the number of assassins and the room itself. Too many and difficult but not impossible to escape. The only door to the room is behind him and there’s already more than a few well trained assassins with guns between him and it. If escape were something he wanted then he’d have to work for it. Finally he looks up at Ra’s properly. “You know, some people prefer written invitations to kidnapping. Just saying.”

The entire room of assassins bristles with anger at Alvin’s lack of proper respect, but Ra’s gestures for them to stand down casually. He seems somewhat amused, but his tone shows none of that as he begins, “Your confidence is commendable and no doubt well earned, but you would do well to consider your situation before you speak. You are in my house. Mind your tongue.”

That doesn’t require a response from Alvin so for once he takes Ra’s advice and stays silent.

“You’ve caused me a good deal of inconvenience.” Ra’s pours himself a glass of wine as he talks. “Tell me, boy, what do they call you?”

He considers giving out a new fake name, if he’s too free with giving out the name he’s going by now Ra’s might deduce that it isn’t his original name. On the other hand he might take a fake name as a challenge. The last thing Alvin wants to do is give Ra’s any reason to try and investigate Alvin’s past. He’s trying to keep Tim safe too, after all. “… Alvin.”

“And this is all they call you?”

“Most people don’t call me anything.” Alvin thinks for a moment before shrugging one shoulder. “To my face anyhow.”

Ra’s remains impassive, swirling the wine in his glass with a slow languid motion as he stares down at Alvin.

It might be time for Alvin to chance a question of his own. This isn’t the hardest test he has to overcome in this mission of his, but is exceedingly tricky. If he says the wrong thing, the whole game falls apart. He needs to be careful. “I’m curious. Why have me brought here at all? If I’m such an inconvenience to you, why not just have your people kill me?”

“Curiosity, it appears, is a trait we share, child.” Ra’s smiles for the first time in this conversation and Alvin fights the urge to just bolt right now. Pleasant smiles aren’t in the repertoire of Ra’s al Ghul. “Why would a smart, young man go to such lengths to attain my attention? There are far simpler ways to join my league.”

Fuck. “What about the act of infiltrating one of your bases and beating almost everyone there senseless screams ‘requesting a job interview’ to you?”

Leaning on his free hand, Ra’s answers, “You play the game well, child, but you are still young and the young and mortal do tend to get somewhat… overeager. You left your intentions clear as day. However make no mistake this is not the ‘interview’. This is merely an introduction. I wished to see you for myself.”

“And now that you have?” Alvin asks, cautiously.

Ra’s sets aside his glass. “Now… there will be an interview. Tomorrow. At dawn. We shall see how well you fare against an opponent who is more your equal than the unprepared rabble you so handily defeated.”

“Why tomorrow?” He would prefer to get this over with.

It almost seems like Ra’s won’t answer, the wine glass holding his attention for a moment longer, then he fixes Alvin with an unnerving gaze. “I see no reason to rush. Take the rest of the day and rest. Have a proper meal, enjoy the luxury of our bathing facilities–”

What a polite way of telling someone they look like shit.

“—You will wish to be at your very best tomorrow, I assure you.”

With that he waves a hand and Oxana grabs Alvin by the arm, roughly, and Lottie goes to replace the hood.

“Do not waste your time.” Ra’s instructs, suddenly. “The boy could fight our operatives in near pitch darkness, you will hide nothing from him.”

Lottie seems confused. Dammit. Ra’s definitely ordered the hood, which means he planned this moment. It should be an insignificant thing, but this is Ra’s al Ghul. Missing anything could be a death sentence.

Looking up, Alvin meets the sickly, green eyes of the Demon’s Head for a moment and his heart sinks into his stomach. Ra’s learned something from this. Alvin doesn’t know what, but anything could be trouble. Why can’t any of the al Ghuls be easy to deal with for once?

Oxana tugs on his arm with a little of her not inconsiderable strength, all but threatening to drag him away, so he lets her lead him out of the room. Down several corridors of stone and marble until they come to a row of doors. Oxana opens the nearest one and shoves him, none-to-gently, through into his new prison for the next far too few hours.

“Be grateful, shadow, Demon’s Head has decreed that you are to be treated as guest… for now.” Oxana hisses behind him. “Were it up to me, you would not be given such comfortable accommodations.”

Alvin doesn’t respond to her and she closes the door, leaving him alone in the stone carved room to stew in his anxiety. He looks around, it’s a fancier room than he’s gotten used to of late. A soft looking bed, a small vanity in one corner. The lights built into the ceiling don’t flicker. There’s an open door on the right side of the room that he realizes leads to a full bathroom as he approaches it. He steps inside and up to the sink. The mirror above it reflects a very different person than Alvin remembers from only a year ago… well a year for him. Time travel is weird.

The fear that all the work he’s put in over that time creeps up his throat and he splashes some water on his face to try and calm down. Running a wet hand through his too long hair, he sighs. Ra’s is right. He looks like shit. At least the room is nice.

.

For the third time in as many days Bruce returns from patrol much later than normal and injured. Clusters of such days seem to be getting closer and closer together of late. As much as Alfred tries to be the mediator between Jason’s enthusiasm and Bruce’s reticence, it is becoming ever more clear that things cannot go on like this for much longer. Thankfully, even at the distance that Alfred watches Bruce approach the stairs up from the landing where the car is kept, he can tell that the injuries sustained this day were quite minor. “Do you require medical attention, sir?”

Bruce hesitates as his hand comes to rest on the railing of the stairs. His shoulders rise with a deep intake of breath. Pause. And then slowly relax as he lets out a deep sigh then continues upwards. “Not tonight I think, Alfred. Just a few bruises.”

“Very good.” Alfred steps out of Bruce’s path to the computer. “I can assume the situation is as dire as ever?”

Slumping in the chair in front of the computer, Bruce lays a folder on the desk, pushes back his cowl, and runs a hand through his hair. “If anything it’s gotten worse. It’s baffling, Alfred. If it were random desperate people I might be able to understand, but these are regulars. People on mafia payrolls, career criminals, and the sort. A year ago those were some of the least dangerous people to run into on patrol. Something’s changed. Made them bolder. I don’t like it.”

“I see…” Alfred pours coffee from a thermos into a mug and holds it out for Bruce to take. “And you have no clues as to what this ‘something’ might be?”

“If I did I’d be out there fixing it,” Bruce grumbles but takes the mug gratefully before he opens the file. “I don’t know, Alfred, I just feel like I’m missing something.”

Alfred could give him some clues, but it’s not quite time for that argument yet. Instead he decides to change the subject. “I presume that file has something to do with the Drake Industries case?”

“It is,” Bruce says and takes a drink of his coffee, a look of contentment settling over his face before he continues, “Lucius was right, of course. There is something shady going on with their CEO, Nathaniel Chiles.”

“It’s a good thing Mr Fox caught on before the deal went through.” Alfred observes. Drake Industries had reached out to work a deal with Wayne Enterprises some weeks ago over some technology parts. Lucius had called Bruce with concerns the very next day.

Bruce grunts in agreement. “I’ve asked him to stall for as long as he can, give me a little more time to figure out what exactly is going on here. I thought it was simple at first, just a case of embezzlement plain and simple, but looking over it again I think Chiles is connected to something deeper.”

“Oh yes?”

“Chiles has been working at DI for twenty years even though he only became CEO within the last ten.” Bruce explains, tapping a finger on some papers in the file absently. “Before he worked there though he owned his own business in the same field. It seems to have been a promising venture but tanked unexpectedly. Apparently that’s when he visited Judge John Drake. Shortly after that DI bought out his company and he was hired on.”

“You think he asked the judge to buy the company.” Alfred surmises.

Bruce nods. “I’m positive he did. What I don’t know is why in the hell Judge Drake agreed to do it. He obviously didn’t trust Chiles. Chiles never so much as budged from the ‘consultant’ position until after the judge was killed. As usual with things connected to the ‘good’ judge there are a hundred layers to this entire situation and the key to understanding half of them probably died with him.”

“…Well, at least Mr Chiles is still alive, he may yet enlighten you on whatever dealings he had with the judge,” Alfred offers. There’s not much chance of that happening though. Judge Drake was quite good at keeping his many, many cards close to the vest. Alfred suspects the people of Gotham will be tripping over the web left behind by that man for far longer than many of them will live to see.

Reclining in his chair, Bruce seems just as hopeful as Alfred. “We’ll see… With any luck the Gala tonight might yield about Chile’s current dealings. It’s strange that the Drakes are holding another one so soon, honestly. Last I heard their archaeology and historical fund was doing quite well for itself.”

Interesting. “Speaking of the gala, I do hope you haven’t forgotten you promised to take Master Jason this time?”

“Of course.” Bruce says with the beginnings of a fond smile on his face, even as he rolls his eyes ever so slightly. “I’d never hear the end of it if I forgot.”

“Undoubtedly, sir.” Alfred makes no more than a cursory attempt to hide his amusement. “I do believe it will be good for him though, the poor lad does seem to be going a bit stir-crazy of late.”

Bruce grimaces. “He’s been complaining to you too then?”

“…Complaining is one way of putting it, I suppose,” Alfred responds and quickly finds himself the recipient of a wary glare. “I only mean that you must remember, sir, that you cannot instill in a child such a profound desire to help and expect him not to feel at least somewhat… bereft when he’s not allowed to do that.”

That at least seems to make Bruce take pause and think. He’s silent for a bit, then groans and passes a hand over his face, leaving it resting just under his nose as he says, “Fair enough. This gala should give him a chance to work on proving his theory that Alvin has some connection to Gotham’s high society at least.”

“Indeed.” It’s a budge in the right direction if nothing more. It’s going to take more work to get any better. Alfred can only hope that fate will be kind and he’ll have more time to do that work well.

[a-cacophony-of-silent-words]

Still Breathing Part One: Into The Tiger's Den

Chapter 6: Hook and Line

It’s cold. Not really something Alvin thought would bother him, but in this moment it commands his attention. Distracting him from the task at hand; Waiting and watching. He sighs and his breath forms a mist, that fades into nothing almost as quickly as it took shape. The frost is making him regret he left the jacket behind in his motel room, it's even making him miss his old cape. The cape was good for keeping warm at times like this, even if he did hate the fact that pretty much everyone dragged him around by it when they got the chance. Heroes, villains, even civilians on occasion. Fun times.

Shaking the reverie from his mind he tries to focus, he’s come too far in the past five months working towards this moment to let something like cold distract him. Bruce would be disappointed in him for the way he’s used Batman’s teachings lately, but Bruce wouldn’t have approved of going back in time at all. What Alvin gets up to in the interests of saving this damn family isn’t bound by Bruce’s opinions anymore. Besides, there’s no real point in worrying about that now. He’ll be disappointing Bruce and probably everyone else he’s ever known a whole heck of a lot more before the year’s out. Hell, before the night’s out if things go even a little wrong. But if that’s what it takes… then that’s what it takes.

Something stirs in the undergrowth on the forest floor below. Alvin tenses and leans out just a little from his perch in a giant evergreen tree careful not to dislodge any of the snow further out on the branch. He waits. Watching intently. Was it just an animal? Is his target running late? He should be here already.

No, wait. The undergrowth parts and a person dressed in thick black winter gear from head to toe, face covered by a mask and goggles, steps into view. About damn time. Operation: Piss Off Ra’s al Ghul is a go.

Without a sound, he drops out of the tree onto his target and knocks him out. Quick as he can, he trades clothes with the assassin and ties him to the tree. Not the most ideal of situations, but it’ll do. He doesn’t have time to do any better and if nothing else the guy can be grateful that Alvin didn’t leave him next to naked as well as unconscious in the snow. The clothes themselves fit nicely, which is a relief, Alvin had to watch for days before he found an assassin who looked to be the right size. He’s none too happy to know that the kid is maybe sixteen at most. Oh well, no use grumbling about lost inches now.

He cuts through the woods in more of a straight line than the usual patrol route and runs most of the way to make up for the time he lost trading clothes with his target. Reaching the last stretch of undergrowth he slows to a more leisurely stroll, adjusting his posture and stride to match the assassin he’s trying to imitate. The forest opens rather abruptly into a large circular field around a concrete building. It’s not a particularly large structure above ground, but Alvin knows he’s walking over decent sized complex just below the surface. It’s not the largest League of Assassin’s facility he’s ever infiltrated but its purposes are mainly storage of resources so it’s certainly not small. Which maybe makes it a terrible choice for a mission like this, but there are other reasons Alvin chose it over any of the bases in say Iran. Very good reasons.

A guard standing just to the right of the only entrance to the building watches Alvin approach. This is the most nerve wracking part of this plan. He’s been counting off the minutes since he left the assassin in the snow but if he’s off by even a little it could ruin the whole plan. Too early and the guard will figure him out before he even gets inside. Too late and he risks the next patrol finding their unfortunate coworker before he can get anything done.

Pushing his worries to the back of his mind Alvin keeps his breathing and movements steady, by his calculations he’s right on time. The guard makes a slight gesture with one hand as he slows to a stop. Asking the assassin if he saw anything on his route. Easier than trying to make out voices muffled by thick cloth. Alvin shakes his head. She nods and waves him on.

Mentally sighing in relief, he walks through the door and down the stone stairs into the base itself. At the bottom of the stairs he starts taking his time, pretending like he’s looking for something in front of the cameras. Not for the person on security duty, but for the recording. Better to not look like he knows exactly where he’s going when the tape gets reviewed later.

But he does know exactly where he’s going. If his meddling with time didn’t somehow manage to change the schematics of the place – the ones he memorized when he was Robin – then his goal should be… Ah, perfect!

He takes a turn down a random hallway walks until he finds a blind spot for the cameras, then doubles back, being especially careful not to get caught on any footage. He slips through the shadows until he gets to the camera just across from the security room. Standing just below it he pulls his bo staff out of the assassin uniform and extends it. Gently peels a panel off the bottom of the camera and sticks one end of the bo staff up against the circuit boards. He hits a button and the circuit’s spark and fizzle. The small red light on the front of the camera goes out.

Immediately Alvin moves over next to the door and waits. A moment later a very confused looking guard pokes his head out and Alvin promptly hits that head with his bo staff. The guard goes down like a sack of bricks. Alvin looks inside the command center, confirming his suspicion that there’s no one else in the room. No one’s really expecting an attack on a completely out of the way storage complex. He pushes the unconscious guard into the room and steps inside, locking the door behind him. Just in case he ties the guard up with a bit of twine he brought with him. The last thing he needs is this guy coming to and causing problems.

Now to do what he does best; fuck with Ra’s al Ghul’s tech.

He pulls the bulky rifle that came with the clothes off his shoulder and leans it against the wall next to the console. Removing the goggles too and leaving them on the floor. Not going to need those anymore, but it does remind him of something important. If the countdown in the back of his mind is right the next patrol is about to find the assassin Alvin left in the snow. They’ll raise the alarm fast as hell if Alvin doesn’t shut down their comms now. So he does, as discretely as possible. Nobody should know their communications are down for a little bit yet.

From there he goes deeper into the system, setting up all the little things that will keep anybody who tries to undo what he’s about to do to the system busy for a good few hours. Ra’s really needs to get techies who know better than to link so many important systems together like this. Oh well, he’s about to learn that lesson soon. Alvin sets up the final touches and checks the cameras. The latest patrol is running up to the door guard. Busted. Too bad… for them that he’s had plenty of time. He cuts power to everything but the cameras. If all goes well they’ll think he left the cameras working to drive home the ‘message’. Really it’s more like sending in a video resume. All part of the plan.

He takes a few moments to prepare himself and watches as the door guard gathers a few people to her. With a small group secured she starts leading them down into the facility, heading directly for the security room. Smart. He’ll have to keep an eye out for her in the next phase of his plan, she could be trouble. Speaking of which, about time he got started on that next phase. He climbs up on the console and starts fiddling with the screws holding the vent cover in place.

This facility was built long before Ra’s had ever encountered Batman and it was built to accommodate a fairly large amount of people. People who would need a lot of air. People who would need a way to escape if part of the building collapsed. So the vents were built large and with the intention that someone would be climbing through them. They haven’t bothered remedying that design flaw because it’s unlikely Bruce would ever take interest in this place. It’s definitely going to work in Alvin’s favor tonight though. He gets the vent open and holds it open with a pen as he carefully hoists himself inside. Safely inside the vent he kicks the pen loose and pulls the hood on the uniform up over his head.

Time to become the boogeyman.

.

The League assassins are well trained. Skilled in the art of killing. Capable of fighting under a vast variety of conditions. Willing to do anything to succeed in whatever mission they’ve been given. But they’re not immune to fear. Fear is a deadly weapon in the right hands, especially against people who don’t think there’s anything left for them to fear.

Alvin, perhaps better than most, knows how to terrify League assassins. Anyone can become unnerved by darkness. To have to fight an enemy they know nothing about who wears that darkness like a second skin is terrifying. Even to trained assassins. This is something Alvin can easily use to his advantage. Unexpected fear of what you’re fighting can lead to mistakes and not being able to see what you’re shooting at can lead to bigger mistakes.

Of course, Alvin himself is no stranger to fighting in conditions where he couldn’t see at all. Taking down enemies who are carrying flashlights and other light sources just in the vague hope of catching a glimpse of him is a piece of cake. There are a few who are capable of fighting in the dark, but they’re hardly King Snake. A few more have equipment – whether thermal or infrared – that allow them to fight like they might’ve if the lights were on, but those have wider blind spots than the ones with flashlights. Anyway it’s barely more than a few so it’s hardly an inconvenience.

Could’ve been a lot more trouble if shutting off the power hadn’t meant he ensured they couldn’t open the locks on their supply vaults. Sure, if he gave them time they could maybe get in manually, but he doesn’t have any intention of giving them time. Most of them go down fast and hard before they ever even see a vault door.

Their numbers are starting to dwindle, Alvin thinks maybe there’s twelve left. Out of the sixty-five in the facility to start with, that’s not bad. He reclines against the wall of the vent above an access point, catching his breath. The last fight was annoying. One of them clipped him with a knife and he’s still assessing the damage there. God, he’s so ready to be done with this. Back to work--

He freezes. There’s a dim semi-circle of light in the hallway below, growing steadily brighter and spreading further as he watches. Someone’s coming. He rearranges himself silently in the vent. Waiting.

A pair of assassins come into view, picking their way down the hall towards where Alvin had left his last group of defeated assassins. They’re walking almost back to back, shining flashlights in any direction they hear a noise from. Much more on their guard than any of the others. There’s something in the hand of one of them. Looks like maybe a transceiver. Someone, it seems, thought ahead for comms going down. Alvin’s willing to bet he knows who it was too. He hasn’t seen her at all since he got started. She’s probably back at the control center trying to get everything back online. It’s what he’d do. Thanks to her these two might be a tad more difficult to take out. Alvin really hopes Ra’s is paying her well, she deserves it. He follows the pair silently, waiting for an opportunity. Anything will do really. Just a distraction is enough.

They come across a group of their allies that Alvin left lying on the ground, mostly unconscious… probably. Slowly the one in front scans the group with his flashlight, less like he’s surprised, more like he’s looking for something. He must find it because he starts cursing when the light stops on a particular assassin and turns on the transceiver. Apparently that assassin was a pivotal part of their plan. Too bad he’s way too unconscious to be of any help. Alvin hears a rough voice respond with disappointment. She orders them to continue on to the vault, warning them that they shouldn’t linger too long or lapse in their guard.

It’s a warning that comes just a little too late. Alvin was ready to move the moment they started paying more attention to the radio than their surroundings. As she finishes speaking, he kicks the grate above the pair open and drops straight down onto the shoulders of the one taking up the rear. He uses his weight and a little momentum to toss this assassin into his companion.

He’s back on his feet before either of them can gather their wits. They’re scrambling for the flashlights they dropped in the collision, but Alvin’s faster. He swipes a knife off an already unconscious assassin and jabs it into the crook of the closest assassin’s arm, pulling it out as he spins to kick the other in the face. Ducking under a swipe of a knife held by the assassin behind him, he elbows the man in the crotch and sweeps his legs out from under him. That’s one down.

Out of the corner of his eye he sees the other assassin finally grab a flashlight off the floor and take aim. Alvin dodges back out of the glow of the flashlight. Staying just out of the light and moving quickly Alvin makes a much less easy target. Flashes of gunfire light up the room in brief intervals, bullets whiz by their mark coming to rest in the walls, the floor, and finally in the skull of the assassin Alvin had just knocked down.

The shock of hitting a friendly must hit the assassin hard, because he hesitates for just a moment and a moment is all Alvin needs. He moves in from the side knocking the gun and flashlight from the assassin’s hands before he can react. Swinging behind him Alvin locks an arm around the assassin’s neck and holds on tight. The assassin struggles, trying in vain to grab on to Alvin or shake him off. Gradually he falls to his knees, grasping at Alvin’s arm, trying to pull it away, struggling for breath. The strength in his desperate pulls slowly fades until his arms fall to his side and his body goes limp.

Releasing his hold on the assassin and letting him fall to the ground Alvin retreats a bit sinking to the floor. He’s just catching his breath, he tells himself. The voice of door guard demands updates from her subordinates somewhere to his right. Alvin turns his head to look at the radio lying in the blood of the dead assassin. This is probably as done as his job is ever going to be here. If this were the League Alvin knew from his original timeline – the Ra’s he knew – he never would’ve made it this far. He knows after this Ra’s will adjust and he’d never survive a second attempt. After all, as much as he hates the man, Alvin will never deny Ra’s is damned good at what he does. Right now though, Alvin is in a unique position of holding all the cards. All the months of playing cat and mouse with lackeys, all the sacrifices he’s had to make, and it’s all amounted to this. He needs to make it count.

Bait for a really dangerous fish.

Ignoring the way the blood soaks through his gloves, Alvin picks up the radio and takes a deep breath. “I’m afraid they can’t come to the phone right now, may I take a message?”

There’s a beat of silence, then the woman speaks in her thick, Russian accent, “You think yourself funny, yes, intruder? But when I catch I swear--”

“Let’s not go making promises we can’t keep.” Alvin cuts off what was sure to be a most gruesome threat against his person. He looks up at the nearest camera. “Listen, we could play this game all night, but I think I’ve already made my point pretty clearly, haven’t I?”

She’s silent.

“You have maybe nine people left with you, right? But you’re not stupid enough to think they’ll be any more difficult for me to take down than the last fifty.”

“…And you are not stupid enough to come hunting me when I know you are coming,” she responds, a bit more sedate now. “So our battle has come to stalemate.”

Alvin laughs ruefully. “Not really, it was never a fight between you and me after all. No… you all know what happens when I’m crossed now. If you’d be so kind as to pass that message along to the Demon’s Head, I’d be most obliged.”

“Bold, little shadow,” she says, slowly. “To know who it is that you trifle with and still do such things? I do not know if you are fool or simply crazy.”

“Well…” Alvin closes his eyes for a moment. “I guess we’ll find out soon enough.”

He drops the transceiver back to the ground and flips the hood of his stolen assassin uniform back up. Time to get the hell out. It’ll be a while before they get the power back on so by the time Ra’s gets his message Alvin will be long gone. It’ll be some time before he knows if he’ll get a bite… or if he’ll get bitten.

.

The Demon’s Head is unreadable in this moment. His eyes flicker from screen to screen as the events of the previous night unfold across them. One of his long fingers taps slowly against the side of his wine glass as if he were deep in thought. What those thoughts might be however is unknowable. He could be enraged at his assassins for failing to defeat one, young, unarmed intruder or perhaps he is angered at the nerve of the intruder himself. Maybe he is assessing the intruder’s work and planning how he will take precautions against such things next time or working on a strategy for revenge. There is also the possibility – however slight – that he is… interested, even impressed.

Rurik does not know. He has only relayed what was told to him by the survivors and has tried not to make any judgments on the intruder for himself. Though he cannot deny that an impression has been made. The intruder made short work of many skilled assassins. Some of them will never fight for the Demon again.

“How long in total?” The master asks, abruptly.

Caught off his guard at being addressed, Rurik does not know the question he is being asked. “My lord?”

Languidly, the Master’s eyes turn towards him, fixing him with that sickly green gaze for a terrifying moment. “From the moment he attacked the patrol to the moment he defeated the last operative, how long was it?”

“T-two hours, twenty-five minutes, and thirteen seconds, my lord.” Rurik answers, dutifully.

“How many casualties?”

“Of the sixty-five operatives in the base… two.” Odd. Potentially quite impressive, considering the damage that had been done to many of them. Twisted limbs, broken bones, some will be discarded as they have become useless to the League. Still the intruder had managed to avoid killing nearly anyone himself.

“I see.” The master leans back in his seat, sinking into the soft cushions and silken cloth that adorn it. He watches as the footage loops on the screens before him in silence for some time. Then he speaks again, almost as if to himself, “He is fascinatingly skilled for one so young… Every move is calculated far beyond what previous reports on him have stated.”

He glances down at the papers that Rurik had brought him, reports of encounters assassins had with this same young man. Encounters that had led to a futile attack against him. Seeming not to find what he was looking for the master lifts his gaze to the screens once more.

“His skills rival the detective’s, perhaps not as refined, but significant in similar fashion.” The master’s eyes narrow abruptly and he hisses, “How did he learn that?”

Rurik blinks and directs his attention to the screens as well. One of the attacks the intruder uses is eerily familiar. To his embarrassment it takes Rurik a moment to realize that it is a League killing technique, though it has been modified to be less lethal there can be no doubt. This man fights as though he were trained alongside members of the League.

“Hm…” The master sighs and sets aside his wine glass. “What information has been discovered about this young man?”

That question has only invited disappointing news. “Not much I fear, my lord.”

“Tell me all that you have uncovered,” the master responds, unbothered, as he leafs through the reports.

“As you command.” Bowing his head his head slightly, Rurik nods to the assassin controlling the screens. “Unfortunately, we have discovered nothing of his origins, we presume he is American, but we have found no documentation relating to him in our searches. In many ways it seems as though before May of this year he did not exist. At that time he began operating as a mercenary in the area of Ethiopia.”

Images of the young man appear on one of the screens. His hair had been shorter then, his clothes had been somewhat out of place. He had looked better suited to playing video games in a college dorm room than mercenary work. As they say though, looks can be deceiving, it is perhaps unfortunate that they had not thought to regard that old saying before last night.

On that thought, Rurik continues, “He carried out his first mercenary job near the border of Ethiopia and Somalia, a group of people were requesting that someone remove a local crime boss from the city. The intruder took this quite literally it seems. He kidnapped the man, took him into the wilderness with no method of returning to civilization, and abandoned him bound hand and foot in the desert just over the border in Somalia. He then proceeded to cut the legs out from under the man’s entire organization, destroying it entirely in less than a week.”

This information earns a raised eyebrow from the master, he seems almost amused by it.

“He took similar contracts as he traveled north. His first encounter with the League was in Yemen, where he stole a kill from one of our top assassins. From there he continued to steal kills or otherwise inhibit our work. He became a minor, but annoying thorn in our side, so we sent a mid level assassin to eliminate him, as this attack happened only days later and we have not heard from that operative, we presume him to be dead. That is all we know of him.”

The reports pass across the screen apparently unheeded, the master seems far more interested in the map of the intruder’s path from Ethiopia. “By what method did he travel?”

“We are uncertain, my lord,” Rurik admits. “We presume as his method of travel is undocumented that he managed through hitchhiking and stowing away.”

“Such an effort.” The master places a hand on his chin, stroking his beard thoughtfully. “He travels in a nearly straight trajectory for five months by the most difficult and dangerous means. I applaud his skill in planning but I do believe he failed to account for what this method of travel would make evident. He was aiming for that facility from the start.”

“M-My lord?” The questioning exclamation slips unbidden from Rurik’s mouth. Normally he would not think of speaking if not asked a question, but what the master has deduced seems near impossible. The thought is ludicrous. For a random young man who has never encountered the League before to not only have wiped out one of their less conspicuous locations but to have known about it this entire time? It is unthinkable. What vendetta could he have against them to warrant such dedication? Or is it perhaps--

Abruptly, a smile spreads across the master’s face and a chill runs down Rurik’s spine. “Find him. At once.”

“Y-yes, my lord.” Rurik bows. Hesitantly he ventures the question, “…and when we find him?”

“Bring him to me.” The master lifts his wine glass and reclines in his seat, his eyes drifting closed, his expression changing to one that resembles a large contented cat that has already caught the rat. “I would be remiss to not welcome such a promising recruit personally.”

.

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[papermoonloveslucy]

THE WILLS

March 19, 1950

“The Wills” (aka “The Coopers Make Their Wills”) is episode #80 of the radio series MY FAVORITE HUSBAND broadcast on March 19, 1950.

Synopsis ~  After Liz and George make out their wills, Liz is convinced that George intends to do away with her. Liz is startled to find a receipt for some arsenic and rope in his pocket, but is shocked when George suggests a trip to the country - with a one-way ticket for Liz!

Starting with this episode, “My Favorite Husband” moved from Thursday nights, to Sunday nights. 

Note: This program was used as a basis for a scene in “I Love Lucy” episode “Lucy Thinks Ricky Is Trying to Murder Her” (ILL S1;E4) filmed on September 8, 1951 and first aired November 5, 1951. For various reasons, it was the first episode of the series filmed, but the fourth aired. 

“My Favorite Husband” was based on the novels Mr. and Mrs. Cugat, the Record of a Happy Marriage (1940) and Outside Eden (1945) by Isabel Scott Rorick, which had previously been adapted into the film Are Husbands Necessary? (1942). “My Favorite Husband” was first broadcast as a one-time special on July 5, 1948. Lucille Ball and Lee Bowman played the characters of Liz and George Cugat, and a positive response to this broadcast convinced CBS to launch “My Favorite Husband” as a series. Bowman was not available Richard Denning was cast as George. On January 7, 1949, confusion with bandleader Xavier Cugat prompted a name change to Cooper. On this same episode Jell-O became its sponsor. A total of 124 episodes of the program aired from July 23, 1948 through March 31, 1951. After about ten episodes had been written, writers Fox and Davenport departed and three new writers took over – Bob Carroll, Jr., Madelyn Pugh, and head writer/producer Jess Oppenheimer. In March 1949 Gale Gordon took over the existing role of George’s boss, Rudolph Atterbury, and Bea Benadaret was added as his wife, Iris. CBS brought “My Favorite Husband” to television in 1953, starring Joan Caulfield and Barry Nelson as Liz and George Cooper. The television version ran two-and-a-half seasons, from September 1953 through December 1955, running concurrently with “I Love Lucy.” It was produced live at CBS Television City for most of its run, until switching to film for a truncated third season filmed (ironically) at Desilu and recasting Liz Cooper with Vanessa Brown.

MAIN CAST

Lucille Ball (Liz Cooper) was born on August 6, 1911 in Jamestown, New York. She began her screen career in 1933 and was known in Hollywood as ‘Queen of the B’s’ due to her many appearances in ‘B’ movies. With Richard Denning, she starred in a radio program titled “My Favorite Husband” which eventually led to the creation of “I Love Lucy,” a television situation comedy in which she co-starred with her real-life husband, Latin bandleader Desi Arnaz. The program was phenomenally successful, allowing the couple to purchase what was once RKO Studios, re-naming it Desilu. When the show ended in 1960 (in an hour-long format known as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”) so did Lucy and Desi’s marriage. In 1962, hoping to keep Desilu financially solvent, Lucy returned to the sitcom format with “The Lucy Show,” which lasted six seasons. She followed that with a similar sitcom “Here’s Lucy” co-starring with her real-life children, Lucie and Desi Jr., as well as Gale Gordon, who had joined the cast of “The Lucy Show” during season two. Before her death in 1989, Lucy made one more attempt at a sitcom with “Life With Lucy,” also with Gordon.

Richard Denning (George Cooper) was born Louis Albert Heindrich Denninger Jr., in Poughkeepsie, New York. When he was 18 months old, his family moved to Los Angeles. Plans called for him to take over his father’s garment manufacturing business, but he developed an interest in acting. Denning enlisted in the US Navy during World War II. He is best known for his  roles in various science fiction and horror films of the 1950s. Although he teamed with Lucille Ball on radio in “My Favorite Husband,” the two never acted together on screen. While “I Love Lucy” was on the air, he was seen on another CBS TV series, “Mr. & Mrs. North.” From 1968 to 1980 he played the Governor on “Hawaii 5-0″, his final role. He died in 1998 at age 84.

Gale Gordon (Rudolph Atterbury) had worked with Lucille Ball on “The Wonder Show” on radio in 1938. One of the front-runners to play Fred Mertz on “I Love Lucy,” he eventually played Alvin Littlefield, owner of the Tropicana, during two episodes in 1952. After playing a Judge in an episode of “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” in 1958, he would re-team with Lucy for all of her subsequent series’: as Theodore J. Mooney in ”The Lucy Show”; as Harrison Otis Carter in “Here’s Lucy”; and as Curtis McGibbon on “Life with Lucy.” Gordon died in 1995 at the age of 89.

Bea Benadaret (Iris Atterbury) does not appear in this episode. 

Ruth Perrott (Katie, the Maid) was also later seen on “I Love Lucy.” She first played Mrs. Pomerantz (above right), a member of the surprise investigating committee for the Society Matrons League in “Pioneer Women” (ILL S1;E25), as one of the member of the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League in “Lucy and Ethel Buy the Same Dress” (ILL S3;E3), and also played a nurse when “Lucy Goes to the Hospital” (ILL S2;E16). She died in 1996 at the age of 96.

Bob LeMond (Announcer) also served as the announcer for the pilot episode of “I Love Lucy”. When the long-lost pilot was finally discovered in 1990, a few moments of the opening narration were damaged and lost, so LeMond – fifty years later – recreated the narration for the CBS special and subsequent DVD release.

GUEST CAST

Herb Vigran (Doctor Stephens) made several appearances on “My Favorite Husband.” He would later play Jule, Ricky’s music union agent on two episodes of “I Love Lucy”. He would go on to play Joe (and Mrs. Trumbull’s nephew), the washing machine repairman in “Never Do Business With Friends” (S2;E31) and Al Sparks, the publicity man who hires Lucy and Ethel to play Martians on top of the Empire State Building in “Lucy is Envious” (S3;E23). Of his 350 screen roles, he also made six appearances on “The Lucy Show.”

EPISODE

ANNOUNCER: “As we look in on the Coopers tonight, it's just after dinner, and we find Liz and George settling down to a normal evening's conversation.”  

George has something he needs to talk to Liz about. Liz immediately thinks it is something to do with her household budget, but George wants to talk about their wills. The subject immediately upsets Liz. The idea of living without George sends Liz into gales of tears. George wants her to read it, and threatens to leave everything to his mother if she doesn’t. Liz snatches the will from him. George then tells her that he has had her will drawn up as well. 

LIZ: “What for? You're the one who's going! What are you trying to do, push me ahead of you in line?”

George reminds her of the three acres of Florida beachfront property that her father left her, which she calls ‘Sunken Acres.’  George always assumed it was oil land. 

LIZ: “If there's any oil down there, it's still in a whale. Oh! I see it all now, George! You want me to sign a will leaving everything to you, and then you'll bump me off! You want to get your dirty fishhooks on my oil holdings!

Liz agrees to read and sign the will as the scene fades out.  At the bank the next day, Mr. Atterbury notices that George seems tired. George admits he was up late talking to Liz about their wills. Mr. Atterbury proposes that the Coopers join him and Iris at their mountain lodge for the weekend, flying up, and then leaving the girls there for the week while they fly back for work. The following weekend they will drive up to get them in Mr. Atterbury’s new car. 

Mr. Atterbury has already bought the airline tickets and asks George to go to the hardware store for a few items. 

MR. ATTERBERRY: “I need poison for those horrible little gophers up there. And some rope for a clothesline, and a couple of sacks of cement. Iris wants a patio so she can sunbathe. Come to think of it, that ought to keep the gophers away.” GEORGE:  “Let me make a list on the back of this envelope. Now, poison, ropes, cement...” MR. ATTERBERRY: “Oh, and I need an axe, too.”

Mr. Atterbury tells George that they should tell their wives that they are just going for a weekend, so that they don’t rush out to buy a week’s worth of new clothes.

At the Cooper home, Katie the Maid is preparing dinner. George comes home and tells Liz the good news that they’ll be going to the Atterbury’s lodge this weekend, and he’s got the airline tickets in his pocket. As George goes upstairs to prepare for dinner, Katie reminds Liz that she has a beauty shop appointment on Saturday. Liz wonders what time the plane leaves, and fishes in George’s jacket pocket to check the tickets. She notices that one tickets is round trip, and the other is one way!   Liz immediately assumes one of them isn’t coming back, and reminds Katie that George asked her to sign her will!  She notices some writing on the envelope that looks like a shopping list.

LIZ: “Poison! He's going to take me out in the woods and poison me! Look, at the next item - rope. If the poison doesn't work, he's gonna hang me! Cement. If I live through the poison and the rope, he's gonna put my feet in cement and dump me in the lake! Look what's next - axe! If I able to hold my breath, he's gonna swim in the water and chop me to pieces!” KATIE: “Oh, how can Mr. Cooper do such a thing?” LIZ: “With that list of weapons, how can he miss?“

Liz realizes why George might want to do away with her - they’ve finally struck oil on Sunken Acres!

End of Part One

Announcer Bob LeMond reads a live Jell-O commercial. 

ANNOUNCCER: “As we return to the Coopers, we find Liz in a state of nervous apprehension. After years of having George under her thumb, she's suddenly discovered that he's bout to put the finger on her. Or at least she thinks he is. But right now it's after dinner, and Liz, the intended victim, is in the living room, reading. While George, the killer, is slowly stalking up behind her.”

George kisses Liz on the back of the neck. She screams!  Liz nervously says that she’d rather not go to the Atterbury’s lodge this weekend. 

GEORGE: “What? Why, Liz, you love the lodge. You always say that's your idea of living.”  LIZ: “Well, I want to keep it that way.”

George says that he has a big surprise for her up there. Liz suggests he take his mother and give HER the big surprise!

GEORGE: “Now, don't be silly! You just wait: When you wake up Monday morning, you'll be very pleasantly surprised.”  LIZ: “If I wake up Monday morning, I'll be surprised.”

Liz wonders if George is having money problems. She asks him why he made her sign her will last night. George says that if it bothers her so much, he’ll tear it up - as soon as they get back from the lodge. 

Liz runs to her bedroom and locks the door! George telephones Dr. Stephens (Herb Vigran) to report that Liz is acting peculiar. 

DOCTOR: “Peculiar for Liz, or peculiar for normal people?”

RICKY RICARDO: “Lucy is acting crazy!” FRED MERTZ: “Crazy for Lucy or crazy for ordinary people?”

This joke was adapted for Lucy Ricardo in “Lucy Thinks Ricky Is Trying To Do Murder Her” with Fred Mertz taking the Doctor’s line. 

Doctor Stephens cannot make a house call because he’s got an appointment with his psychoanalyst, but he tells George to give Liz a sedative until he can get there. 

Liz comes in for a glass of water. George tells her that he’s had Katie prepare them some hot milk. In the kitchen, Katie tells Liz that she saw Mr. Cooper pour a powder into one of the glasses. Liz says she’ll just switch the glasses so that George drinks the one with the powder in it. 

In the living room she distracts George just long enough to switch the glasses. But when George lifts his glass to drink, Liz dashes it from his hand. She says she couldn’t do it to him, even if he could do it to her. 

LIZ: “You put something in my glass, didn't you, George? Well, I fooled you! I switched glasses!”  GEORGE: “I had a hunch that's why Katie called you, so I switched them again while you were out of the room.”

Liz starts to gag as if she’s been poisoned! Liz falls to the floor, convinced she is going to die, trying to make peace with George in her final moments.

LIZ: “If I had my life to live over again, I want you to know I'd do better. I could stay within the budget, if I tried. (coughs) And I'd never buy clothes I need. (coughs) I'd throw away my charge-a-plate.”

The doorbell rings. It is Mr. Atterbury, come to make the ‘final arrangements.’  Liz tells George that she saw the one way ticket, and the shopping list for poison and the axe.  The men dissolve in laughter.  Mr. Atterbury explains that those were supplies for the lodge.  Liz is angry that she’s been tricked, and refuses to keep the promises she made in her ‘final moments’.

LIZ: "I didn't know what I was saying! I was under the influence of warm milk!”

End of Episode

In the live Jell-O commercial, Lucille Ball plays a Mexican spy, and Bob LeMond is interviewing her for a job. 

In the bedtime tag, it is five in the morning and George is reading a suspenseful magazine story. Liz begs him to turn out the light, but then can’t sleep until he knows the outcome of the story. Liz grabs the magazine and reads the last lines.

LIZ: “The huge, shapeless thing crept slowly up behind Mildred, and before she could scream it slipped its bony hands around her - Oh, no!!!” GEORGE: “What does it say, Liz? Around her what?” LIZ: “Around her continued next week! Good night!”

ANNOUNCER: “You have been listening to ‘My Favorite Husband’ starring Lucille Ball, with Richard Denning, and based on characters created by Isobel Scott Rorick. Tonight's transcribed program was produced and directed by Jess Oppenheimer, who wrote the script with Madelyn Pugh and Bob Carroll, Jr. Be sure to get the April Issue of ‘Radio Mirror Magazine’ with the big picture of Lucille Ball on the cover. That's the April issue of ‘Radio Mirror Magazine.’ Original music was composed by Marlin Skyles and conducted by Wilbur Hatch. Bob LeMond speaking.”

[aion-rsa]

The Lion King 2 Set by Disney with Director Barry Jenkins

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

The Lion King 2 is feeling the love tonight (or this afternoon, precisely), with Disney reportedly moving forward with the inevitable sequel to its $1.65 billion globally-grossing hit live-action remake of its iconic 1994 animated feature.

Walt Disney Studios has hired Barry Jenkins to direct the now-developing sequel to 2019’s The Lion King, according to Deadline. Jenkins, the Oscar-winning helmer of 2016 drama Moonlight, takes over a chair left behind by original movie director Jon Favreau, who has since become an invaluable source of direction for the company with Disney+ series The Mandalorian, for which he is the credited creator. Now, with The Lion King film franchise under the purview of Jenkins, the sequel is making progress, with a first draft by returning script writer Jeff Nathanson reportedly complete and ready. As Jenkins expresses in a statement:

“Helping my sister raise two young boys during the ’90s, I grew up with these characters. Having the opportunity to work with Disney on expanding this magnificent tale of friendship, love and legacy while furthering my work chronicling the lives and souls of folk within the African diaspora is a dream come true.”

While significant plot details on The Lion King 2 are currently under wraps, the report points to an anecdotal idea that the film will further explore the mythology in a manner akin to 1974’s The Godfather II, which utilized flashbacks following a younger version of Vito Corleone (Marlon Brando’s aged don in the first film), which set context for the further exploits of son Michael (Al Pacino) in his early exploits as head of the family. Likewise, this film will reportedly follow the early regal reign of young Simba (Donald Glover), inter-cutting with context-setting flashbacks showing the rise of his father, the late Mufasa, who was voiced by James Earl Jones in the first film (and its 1994 animated predecessor). Such a scenario would be a major divergence from 1998 straight-to-video animated sequel The Lion King II: Simba’s Pride—not that audiences were clamoring for that remake.

The Lion King 2 is, of course, a major project for director Barry Jenkins, who became the toast of the entertainment industry back in 2017 when Moonlight—which took the top prize that year for “Best Motion Picture”—yielded him an Oscar win for “Best Adapted screenplay” (shared with Tarell Alvin McCraney), and a nomination for “Best Achievement in Directing.” He would subsequently tackle 2018 drama If Beale Street Could Talk, which yielded him an additional “Best Adapted Screenplay” nod in 2019, and, notably, a “Best Supporting Actress” win for Regina King. However, he subsequently shifted his attention to television, and had been in development—pre-COVID—on historically-based drama The Underground Railroad for Amazon Studios. Thus, The Lion King sequel will represent a return to the medium.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

That is the extent of the confirmed details on The Lion King 2. Director Jenkins will likely also produce the picture via his PASTEL shingle alongside partners Adele Romanski and Mark Ceryak. Additionally, while no cast members were confirmed, it’s reasonable to surmise that main character voicers such as Donald Glover, Beyoncé Knowles-Carter, Seth Rogen, Billy Eichner and Alfre Woodard will be back, along with composers Hans Zimmer and Pharrell Williams.

The post The Lion King 2 Set by Disney with Director Barry Jenkins appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/30dPFGL

[algandarsplaguepositive]

Hair Hues of Radiata Stories

Here is the complete list of all the Radiata Stories characters (both recruitable and NPCs) taken from Fuck Yeah Radiata Stories​ and sorted by hair colour. There are a couple things I want to add. 

First off, while most of the characters fit neatly into one of the eight categories, there are some characters whose hair colour was more ambiguous (i.e. dark blonde vs. light brown hair). I placed them where I thought they were best fit.

Black and blue are the same category because some of the black-haired characters like Cairn have a bluish tint and technically speaking, black pigment is really just a dark blue anyway.

There are some characters who are either bald or have their head covered so you can’t tell the colour of their head hair. Instead of classifying them as bald or unknown, I classified them based on the colour of their facial hair and eyebrows. This is why Dynas is in with the brunettes instead of the baldies.

While I could have made a separate category for pink hair, I ultimately decided it should just belong with red/orange because pink is just light red anyway.

Overall, there is a wide, diverse spectrum of hair colours and not all characters fit perfectly into their respective category. So if you think certain characters are miscategorised, well that’s your opinion and you’re entitled to it.

Long post under the cut.

Brown

001 | Jack Russell | Knight, Warrior | Male

002 | Ganz Rothschild | Captain, Bandit | Male

004 | Dynas Stone | Knight, General | Male

006 | Charlie Green | Knight | Male

010 | Putt Menzel | Jail Watchman | Male

013 | Gerald Nixon | Warrior | Male

014 | Caesar Wallace | Warrior | Male

022 | Gordon Napier | Warrior | Male

023 | Bruce Agard | Warrior | Male

026 | Rolec Cheney | Warrior | Male

030 | Thanos Baines | Warrior | Male

032 | Cecil Welles | Mage | Male

033 | Genius Weissheit | Mage | Male

039 | Christoph | Mage | Male

045 | Rachel (Nami Tamaki) | Mage | Female

049 | Franklin DeMille | Mage | Male

051 | Kain Garfield | Priest | Male

056 | Rocky Mayvern | Priest | Male

057 | Achilles Johnson | Priest | Male

058 | Flora Penn | Priest | Female

062 | Cosmo Doyle | Priest | Male

063 | Grant Altman | Priest | Male

065 | Miranda Neame | Priest | Female

066 | Edgar Dante | Priest | Male

067 | Clive Parket | Priest | Male

069 | Eugene Edwards | Priest | Male

073 | Iris Anderson | Bandit | Female

074 | Nocturne Reiner | Bandit | Male

077 | Alba Redford | Bandit | Male

078 | Lily Milius | Bandit | Female

079 | Flau | Bandit | Female

080 | Jared Carter | Bandit | Male

081 | Pinky Frears | Bandit | Male?

084 | Joaquel Rieman | Bandit | Male

089 | Adele Russell | Villager | Female

090 | Paul Studd | Townsfolk | Male

092 | Lyle Jefferson | Townsfolk | Male

095 | Dan Tyler | Townsfolk | Male

096 | Elef Bordor | Townsfolk | Male

097 | Ryan Blan | Townsfolk | Male

098 | Hip Dyke | Townsfolk | Male

099 | Nick Agard | Townsfolk | Male

100 | Goyle Bartle | Townsfolk | Male

101 | Butch Necker | Townsfolk | Male

102 | Sarval Fulton | Villager | Male

103 | Sunset Fulton | Villager | Male

107 | Leban Morrison | Villager | Male

108 | Mook Harris | Villager | Male

109 | Wal Irving | Villager | Male

112 | Howard Rogers | Villager | Male

113 | Astor Bostwick | Townsfolk | Male

114 | Synelia Bell | Townsfolk | Female

115 | Tony Basil | Townsfolk | Male

116 | Bran Farmer | Villager | Male

117 | Stefan Neill | Villager | Male

119 | Garcia Rooney | Villager | Male

121 | Naom | Dwarf | Male

139 | Lufa | Dark Elf | Female

140 | Coco | Dark Elf | Male

NPC | Jasne Colton | Chamberlain | Male

NPC | Reynos | Jail Watchman, Plague Victim | Male

NPC | Sarasenia | Queen of Radiata | Female

NPC | Testa | Child | Male

NPC | Theresa | Supply Store | Female

NPC | Toma | Child | Male

NPC | Lezard Valeth | MAD SCIENTIST OHOHO | Male

NPC | Brood | Alkaiko General Store | Male

NPC | Camuse | Verontier Armory | Male

NPC | Josef | Ok Hand Accessories | Male

NPC | Kira | Warc’s Daughter | Female

NPC | Lunbar | Dead End Armory | Male

NPC | Sayna | Vareth Chef | Female

NPC | Sonia | Chic Records | Female

NPC | Startis | Black Town Lottery Booth | Male

NPC | Yuri | Begin Eatery | Female

NPC | Zeke | Mysterious Creatures Inn | Male

NPC | Lauren | Mook’s Wife | Female

NPC | Louis | Travelling Merchant | Male

NPC | Mint | Tria Village Vendor | Female

NPC | Pommelie | Sarval’s Wife | Female

Blonde

003 | Ridley Silverlake | Knight, Captain | Female

012 | Elwen | Warrior | Female

021 | Aldo Winner | Warrior | Male

025 | Conrad Jefferson | Warrior | Male

028 | Carlos Monroe | Warrior | Male

037 | Ursula Cameron | Mage | Female

040 | Claudia Hamilton | Mage | Female

042 | Dimitri Lucas | Mage | Male

043 | Leona Weissheit | Mage | Female

045 | Cornelia Griffith | Mage | Female

060 | Alvin Moore | Priest | Male

061 | Vitas Young | Priest | Female

070 | Nyx Crowe | Bandit | Male

087 | Star Etoile Stern | Townsfolk | Male

131 | Clarence | Dark Elf | Male

132 | Serva | Dark Elf | Male

133 | Hyann | Dark Elf | Male

136 | Franz | Dark Elf | Male

138 | Marsha | Dark Elf | Female

144 | Mikey | Dark Elf | Male

NPC | Salute Larks | Commander-in-Chief | Male

NPC | Jorn | Child | Male

NPC | Margaret | Chambermaid | Female

NPC | Nuse | Child | Male

NPC | Ravil | Librarian | Male

NPC | Roy | Job Desk | Male

NPC | Torenia | Ghost | Female

NPC | Zion | Teacher | Male

NPC | Freija | Eisenhower Pharmacy | Female

NPC | Jasmine | San Patty Accessories | Female

NPC | Leann | Vareth Librarian | Female

NPC | Rabi | Morfinn’s Daughter | Female

NPC | Silvia | Club Vampire | Female

NPC | Sora | Sarval’s Daughter | Female

NPC | Donovitch | Earth Valley Gate Guard | Male

NPC | Stein | Boulder Frog Inn | Male

Red/Orange

011 | Gawain Rothschild | Captain, Deserter | Male 

015 | Alicia Allen | Warrior | Female

024 | David Gore | Warrior | Male

034 | Morgan Humphrey | Mage | Female

036 | Jill Kazan | Mage | Female

044 | Aidan Welles | Mage | Male

047 | Marietta Sturges | Mage | Female

053 | Anastasia Ryan | Priest | Female

086 | Elmo | Bandit | Male

118 | Yack Jones | Villager | Male

120 | Grigory | Dwarf | Male

122 | Dyvad | Dwarf | Male

134 | Chatt | Dark Elf | Male

135 | Zida | Dark Elf | Male

137 | Romaria | Dark Elf | Female

142 | Santos | Dark Elf | Male

NPC | Parsec | Fire Dragon

NPC | Robin | Belmont General Store | Male

NPC | Roche | Vareth Secretary | Female

NPC | Servia | Club Vampire | Female

NPC | Sheila | Vancoor Square Lottery Booth, Plague Victim | Female

NPC | Virginia | Peaceful Pony Inn | Female

NPC | Baade | Earth Dragon

NPC | Albert | Treasury Guard | Male

NPC | Gehrmann | Dwarf Blacksmith | Male

NPC | Oleg | Dawnbay Diner | Male

NPC | Vladimir | Triston Armory | Male

NPC | Yevgeni | DwarFun General Store | Male

Black/Blue

007 | Nina Harlin | Knight | Female

019 | Walter Stokes | Warrior | Male

072 | Sonata Fourier | Bandit | Male

177 | Valkyrie | God | Female

NPC | Cairn Russell | Captain of the Blanc Chevalier, Deceased | Male

NPC | Lucian Hewitt | Advisor | Male

NPC | Barbena | Swords and Silver Coins Inn | Female

Grey/White

009 | Patrick Davis | Jail Watchman | Male

027 | Daniel Arthur | Warrior | Male

029 | Gene Madison | Warrior | Male

031 | Curtis Agnew | Mage | Male

035 | Felix Hayes | Mage | Fema–*brick’d*

038 | Derek Quayle | Mage | Male

048 | Ernest Smight | Mage | Male

050 | Johan Pierce | Mage | Male

052 | Fernando McKinley | Priest | Male

055 | Godwin Hyams | Priest | Male

059 | Elena Richter | Priest | Female

064 | Adina Richter | Priest | Female

068 | Lulu Ritchie | Priest | Female

071 | Ortoroz Taft | Bandit | Male

075 | Herz Ashby | Bandit | Female

085 | Eon Herek | Bandit | Male

091 | Giske Terestat | Townsfolk | Male

093 | Morfinn Martinez | Townsfolk | Male

094 | Bligh Hinds | Villager | Male

104 | Keaton Schmidt | Villager | Male

105 | Tarkin Schmidt | Villager | Male

106 | Gonber Nanashiino | Villager | Male

110 | Wyze Meyer | Villager | Male

111 | Zeranium Prester | Townsfolk | Male

141 | Martinez | Dark Elf | Male

NPC | Belflower | Princess of Radiata | Female

NPC | Cross Ward | Captain of the Noire Mouton | Male

NPC | Jiorus | King of Radiata | Male

NPC | Junzaburo | Knight Selection Trial Referee | Male

NPC | Ethereal Queen | God | Female

NPC | Epoch | Job Desk | Male

NPC | Raymond | Steward | Male

NPC | Sakurazaki | Knight Selection Trial Judge | Male

NPC | Cherie | The Last Word Book Store | Female

NPC | Lantana | Blade Pharmacy | Male

NPC | Maddock | White Town Lottery Booth | Male

NPC | Nalshay | Elena and Adina’s Brother | Male

NPC | Nask | Waldo General Store | Male

NPC | Rose | Black Rose General Store | Female

NPC | Thyme | Faid General Store | Male

NPC | Warc | The Survivor Armory | Male

NPC | Daria | Nuevo Villager (Bligh’s Wife?) | Female

NPC | Saron | Sora and Sarval’s Grandmother | Female

NPC | Aegenhart | Dwarf Miner | Male

NPC | Brockle | Dwarf Blacksmith | Male

NPC | Gonovitch | Dwarf Elder | Male

NPC | Marke | Reader, Lazybones | Male

NPC | Sergei | Dwarf Miner | Male

Purple

008 | Leonard Ford | Knight | Male

016 | Dennis Tenet | Warrior | Male

017 | Gareth Walker | Warrior | Male

018 | Gregory Julia | Warrior | Male

020 | Jarvis Mondale | Warrior | Male

041 | Ardoph Rockefeller | Mage | Male

046 | Faraus Buchanan | Mage | Male

076 | Rynka Quince | Bandit | Female

NPC | Al | Steward | Male

NPC | Cody | Rynka’s Son | Male

NPC | Garbella | Levante General Store | Female

Green

005 | Natalie Nanette | Captain | Female

123 | Gil | Light Elf | Male

124 | Shin | Light Elf | Male

125 | Fan | Light Elf | Female

126 | Row | Light Elf | Female

127 | Pitt | Light Elf | Male

128 | Few | Light Elf | Female

129 | Alan | Light Elf | Male

130 | Keane | Light Elf | Female

143 | Rika | Dark Elf | Female

NPC | Hap | Light Elf Messenger | Male

NPC | Nogueira | Dark Elf Elder | Male

NPC | Zane | Light Elf Leader | Male

Bald/Unknown

054 | Dwight Hill | Priest | Male

082 | Interlude Rodriguez | Bandit | Male

083 | Solo Frankl | Bandit | Male

088 | Sebastian | Golem | Male

145 | Gobrey | Green Goblin | Male

146 | Gob | Green Goblin | Male

147 | Lin | Green Goblin | Male

148 | Brie | Green Goblin | Male

149 | Gonn | Green Goblin | Male

150 | Golly | Green Goblin | Male

151 | Den | Green Goblin | Male

152 | Ben | Green Goblin | Male

153 | Aesop | Green Goblin | Male

154 | Monki | Green Goblin | Male

155 | Gabe | Green Goblin | Male

156 | Mason | Green Goblin | Male

157 | Goo | Green Goblin | Male

158 | Donkey | Green Goblin | Male

159 | Gruel | Black Goblin | Male

160 | Ricky | Black Goblin | Male

161 | Drew | Black Goblin | Male

162 | Doppio | Black Goblin | Male

163 | Pietro | Black Goblin | Male

164 | Jan | Black Goblin | Male

165 | Marco | Black Goblin | Male

166 | Niko | Black Goblin | Male

167 | Danny | Black Goblin | Male

168 | Dominic | Black Goblin | Male

169 | Bosso | Black Goblin | Male

170 | Georgio | Black Goblin | Male

171 | Luka | Black Goblin | Male

172 | Sonny | Black Goblin | Male

173 | Giovanni | Black Goblin | Male

174 | Polpo | Black Goblin | Male

175 | JJ | Green Orc | Male

176 | Galvados | Blood Orc | Male

NPC | Aphelion | Silver Dragon

NPC | Cepheid | Wind Dragon

NPC | Kelvin | Water Dragon

NPC | Quasar | Gold Dragon

NPC | Radian | Paper Dragon

NPC | Bull | Galvados’ Follower | Male

NPC | Drago | Galvados’ Follower | Male

NPC | Ray C. Ross | President of Vareth | Male

NPC | Gabriel Celesta | God | Male

[thedenfantasyleague]

The Den Fantasy League Weekly Recaps: 2020 Draft Recap

Gentlemen,

Welcome to a new year. Although this year may look different and come with plenty of unknowns, I’m looking forward to venturing into the chaos with you all. As we begin our fifth year, we’ve seen three champions in our first four seasons. We’ve seen plenty of chirping, gamesmanship, and some excuses but it’s been a great four years thus far and I’m excited about our newest season. With that being said let’s get into this year’s draft recap and to assist I used RotoTrade.com’s draft analysis to be unbiased in final analysis.

Draft Order:

The Perfect Ten

Hank Mardukas

11-4-1 PVO

Kalabar’s Revenge

Viking Quest

Team Timshel

Debbie Rowe

Virg. Gardening Minmaxers

Mr. Magorium

Wilmore Cinderella

Fire Jarn

Tua Days

The Perfect Ten

Our two-time champion started off the draft in the first overall spot. Ian normally prefers to be at the back of the draft to double up but this time he had the benefit of getting the first overall pick and the back-to-back picks starting at the end of the 2nd round. With his first pick, Ian took the easy number one in CMC, arguably the best player in the 2019 season. In Ian’s position (and those like him towards the beginning and end) he had to look out into the distance and make some moves on who may not be available at his next turn. With that, he picked up Mahomes with his second pick at the end of the second round. E’s team is riddled with players who may not have the splashy seasons all the time but could step up into some interesting roles. 

E’s draft grade from RotoTrade.com:

Hank Mardukas

Scott was number two and had the easy pick of picking whomever Ian didn’t pick. In this case, it was Saquon who fell to Scott and the second pick. Saquon was again a top pick this year and hoping to bounce back after an injury plagued season last year. Like the bookends of the draft, Scott found himself with double picks and went with his two starting WRs in Godwin and Thielen. Scott made some interesting picks and continued to sure up his WRs in picking the intriguing Hollywood Brown after taking his QB in Dak. Scott eventually took a chance on the resurgence of Gronk, hoping he returns to his old self with his reunion with Tom in Tampa. It was good to see Scott at an inperson draft for potentially the first time in history. 

Scott’s draft grade from RotoTrade.com:

11-4-1 PVO

Dylan was nice enough to host us at his house for this years draft but for Dylan, some times home field advantage isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Dylan had his whole set up ready, or as he called it, his War Room. After continuing the trend of getting the best available at the top of the board, Dylan took Zeke (although I’m not too sure he was crazy about it). From there he continued into the skill positions by taking two of the highest paid NFL players in Julio and Kittle. A few picks late came controversy. If you drafted live and weren’t in the room where it happens (a little Hamilton pun for ya there), Dylan had a snafu. Here’s the scene: Dylan is on the clock and talking about he can’t take AJ Green. Just on principle. He starts clicking frantically and, next thing you know, he’s taking AJ Green. Weird, right? Dylan claims he was clicking Jordan Howard. He’s adamant. As a commissioner to the people, we poll the in-house participants and with our quorum we decide to pause the draft. With said quorum a vote is taken (I abstain) and the vote was to allow Dylan to re-pick. Is it a conspiracy and/or controversial? Yes. I won’t address it further and my story will match any other who was on site. Back to the normal draft: Dylan had a steal in the 11th round by taking John Matthew Stafford. Happy for him. Is this the year Dylan turns it around?

Dylan’s draft grade from RotoTrade.com:

Kalabar’s Revenge

After our draft we FaceTimed G to figure out why he was auto-drafting. We were greeted with Katie Mae at her 23rd birthday celebration (insert Blink-182 joke here). To her surprise we weren’t made, just disappointed as G tends to bring some good fun to the draft. Towards the end of the draft, G made an appearance in the chat and summaried his draft in the following manner, “I might do well this year since I didn’t make any of the picks” or something like that. He may have had a point. When we finally got G on the phone he was pretty drunk. So much so that he exposed himselfto the crew. Katie wasn’t a fan of that (at least in that moment…). As you can imagine, auto-drafting just goes best available and that’s what G got. His first pick was Dalvin then followed up with a slew of WRs in Devante, Evans, and Ridley. His auto-draft path eventually selected both Matt Ryan and Aaron Rodgers. Two aging QBs who could still have a lot of upside to them. There is always a risk when auto-drafting but it may have just paid off for G. After the draft he was given his chance to provide his one season long Kurse of the season. I’ll give you one guess as to who it was.

G’s draft grade from RotoTrade.com:

Viking Quest

Have I mentioned how luck I am to be your Commish? It’s truly an honor. As for my draft, I was just happy to be there. Continuing the trend, I took the best available and went for Alvin Kamara. I know he’s in the middle of a contract dispute but I have no doubts he’ll be on the field and ready to roll for week one. The Saints are all in this year and I’m hoping their success will ride on his shoulders. My next pick was an interesting one. Too often I draft with my heart and not with my mind. Luckily on this one I was able to do both. Was Kelce the “best available” at that time? Not necessarily (he was in the mix) but why mess with a good thing? I’m happy for my guy after receiving his new contract and I know he’ll continue to produce as he always has. Surprisingly for me, this draft was very WR heavy, something I don’t normally do. However, you have to make do with what’s there at the value you’re taking it at and that’s what I tried to do. After Dylan picked Stafford before he could fall to me, I knew it was time to take a QB. Would I take Rodgers while he was still available? No. Absolutely not. In the words of Johnny Drama, the main character of Viking Quest, “it’s the principle”. I went with my heart and history. I am a Cam believer. Truth be told I listened to a podcast on Cam recently and again went with my heart. I believe in him and so should you. But hey, I’m just happy to be here. 

My draft grade from RotoTrade.com:

Team Timshel

Our defending champ was back this year to defend his title in a very odd season. The champ wasted no time in mixing things up and throwing the whole draft for one participant (more on that later). Mike took his own path in the draft and opted to not take the best available being Michael Thomas but instead went with one of the hottest RBs at the end of last year: Derrick Henry. He then went another RB in the new Texan David Johnson followed by Amari, Ertz, and finally rounded out his fifth round by taking Russ Wilson at QB. Mike’s team has always been in contention and finally came to fruition last year and this year he is hoping to do the same. So much so that he’s bought in on the Titans having a successful year after taking three players Friday and now reportedly have signed Clowney. Mike’s hoping that success on the field can aid him in his quest to be our first repeat winner. 

Mike’s draft grade from RotoTrade.com

Debbie Rowe

The man looked up from his screen both confused and shocked. His whole plan had come crashing down. He would need to act fast or everything could fall apart. Sounds like a scene from a novel but this was real life for one Jake Taylor. As previously mentioned, Jake was shook after Mike picked Henry right before Jane. Jake had been doing research for days, all under the assumption he would have Henry there to take. It was so simple but then the moment came and it all came crashing down. Jake had to act fast and instead of picking Michael Thomas or even the next highest rated RB, he took a chance in the rookie: Clyde Edwards-Helaire. Jake then followed by taking Chris Carson, JuJu (USC Trojans, Fight On), his little Cooper Kupp, and his Bengal: Tyler Boyd. Jake then proceeded to take the player behind DraftJoshAllen.com in Josh Allen. Finally, he took one of the first kickers off the board: J-Tuck. Jake currently hates his team but sometimes that means we got the team we didn’t want but the team we actually needed the whole time.

Jake’s draft grade from RotoTrade.com

Virg. Gardening MinMaxers

Al took an interesting strategy for this year’s draft and I believe he participated via his phone when he was plugged in. Al started his team off very WR heavy by taking Thomas after his brief slide and taking Hopkins in the second round. If you would have told Al that in 2018 he’d have both Le’Veon and Gurley on his team in 2020 he would have been stoked but both of these backs haven’t had the past years we and they would have hoped for, leaving some questions for the 2020 season. In between of picking three QBs (Kyler, Brady, and Burrow) Al was able to snag AJ Green after the 11-4-1 PVO debacle. Like all teams, our current Cabana Boy has a team full of question marks but with a lot of potential. Can he get it done this year or be our first repeat Cabana Boy?

Al’s draft grade from RotoTrade.com:

Mr. Magorium

Gabe is officially back to Mr. Magorium after last year’s GM change. If you recall, G started off horrendously after the initial week one Kurse from Kalabar. After week one, the Kurses continued for weeks on end until finally Gabe turned his team over to Remus Lupin to help fight the spirits. It paid off for him as he had an incredible second half run. Gabe reentered with an interesting first pick. Gabe passed on some other RBs to select Cincy’s own Joe Mixon. I wonder if Gabe will change his name to Mixon it Up? Following that pick, Gabe focused on his skill players by taking another RB in Aaron Jones then following with three straight WRs including OBJ, Woods, and Diggs. Gabe was eventually forced to take Drew Brees as his QB, something he wasn’t thrilled about. As Gabe surveyed his final draft results we reached out to Kalabar to see who his official Kurse of the Year went to and unfortunately for Gabe it falls on him. Will we see the same impact we saw last year or has Gabe figured out how to reflect said Kurses? Only time will tell. 

Gabe’s draft grade from RotoTrade.com:

Wilmore Cinderella

“Yuck” - E Birch. That’s how Ian categorized JP’s predicament after seeing who would be falling into that #10 spot. Unfortunately for JP he felt the same way. There wasn’t much optimism going into the draft for JP and ended up picking Josh Jacobs over a slew of other RBs with his first round pick. He then continued by taking more skill positions like Ekeler, AJ Brown, Lockett, and finally the new TB Buc Fournette before selecting the newly paid Deshaun Watson to be his QB for the year. With his last pick he selected Scotty Miller or as he likes to call him “the new Julian Edelman”. JP’s team is interesting because he appears to have some talent that, if given the opportunity on their respective teams, could turn into valuable contributors to his team’s success for the year. Only time will tell if JP and Wilmore Cinderella can join E as the only two-time champs. 

JP’s draft grade from RotoTrade.com:

Fire Jarn

I’m excited for Robbie to once again be in our league but I’m starting to get worried. Does he not care anymore? Should we be concerned? Should we look to replace him? Year after year we get an auto-draft and I’m just not sure if he wants to even be in the league. Rob, if you’re reading this it’s okay to opt out, we’ll still be your friends. For everyone else, if you’re reading this go ahead and drop a nice word to Robbie in the chat. He may need it. However, with Rob’s draft, the computer did him a lot of favors. The computer selected the popular Miles Sanders with his first pick and followed up by taking Tyreek A. Rob, Sutton, and Singletary to round out his skill players. The computer doing what the computer does took two QBs who seem to always be fighting off the injury bug: Wentz and Sloppy Roethelisberger. Finally, with their second to last pick Robbie’s computer team selected Matt Gay, a kicker who is recently unemployed. I really do want Robbie to have fun this year and find success but I’m just happy he’s our friend. Wouldn’t you agree?

Robbie’s draft grade from RotoTrade.com:

Tua Days

Our final pick from round one and our first pick in round two had an interesting draft time as it coincided with the Heat game. Vinny’s official post-draft statement was: Did the Heat distract my draft process? Yes. Will it hinder my teams performance? ABSOLUTELY NOT. On my name sake My team will work twice as hard to grind every week except week 8. Speaking of the Heat, they choked in game four. Sad to see. Vinny started his draft by taking Chubb with his first pick followed up by his beloved Kenyan Drake. Vinny then took the second QB off the board by taking Lamar at the end of the third round. He then took his fellow Raven in TE Mark Andrews and then his very own Dolphin in Parker. I’m not sure if Vinny drifted back to auto-draft as he ended up with two defenses but if it was intentional I’m sure he has a reason that makes zero sense. Either way, we’ll find out this season if you should never draft distracted. Heat in five. 

Vinny’s draft grade from RotoTrade.com

That is this year’s draft recap. Games start Thursday and I’m looking forward to getting some sort of normalcy back in our lives. As always, set your lineups accordingly.

Your beloved Commissioner,

Jared R. Mosqueda

[theonetruewilkipedia]

Sets 1-10 Summary

Liked Songs: 5743/10040

Included Artists: 109

Top 250 Countdown Playlist:

https://open.spotify.com/user/rhwilk/playlist/52LRdhsUpXPxCZlX503NLL

Top Artists (by Top 250 influence):

Pink Floyd (10.999)

Rush (5.584)

Art Blakey (3.959)

Alice in Chains (3.867)

Arctic Monkeys (3.840)

AC/DC (3.777)

Andrew Bird (3.448)

Andrew Jackson Jihad (3.421)

Aretha Franklin (3.380)

Band Of Skulls (2.412)

Audioslave (2.355)

B.B. King (2.274)

Arcade Fire (2.169)

Albert King (2.136)

Aerosmith (2.127)

Bad Religion (1.952)

A Perfect Circle (1.739)

Bad Company (1.495)

Attack In Black (1.186)

Alvin Lee (1.178)

Ahmad Jamal (1.123)

Badfinger (1.095)

Ayreon (1.076)

Alt-J (.941)

Andre Previn (.936)

Archive (.891)

Arlo Guthrie (.854)

Andromeda (UK) (.849)

Astrud Gilberto (.814)

Al Di Meola (.782)

Babe Ruth (.768)

Barrett Strong (.719)

Acroma (.699)

Barry McGuire (.692)

Argent (.655)

Andrea Bocelli (.615)

Antonio Carlos Jobim (.612)

Andrew Lloyd Webber (.599)

Angra (.554)

Anberlin (.533)

Andy Timmons (.528)

ABBA (.433)

Adele (.404)

Al Stewart (.38)

Arlen Roth (.338)

Anthony Gomes (.305)

Alabama Shakes (.294)

Avenged Sevenfold (.279)

AFI (.217)

An Endless Sporadic (.194)

10cc (.176)

Astronautalis (.154)

Ananda Shankar (.147)

Armageddon (’70s) (.144)

Art Farmer (.135)

Andromeda (Sweden) (.128)

American Football (.119)

Anti-Flag (.092)

Altamont (.078)

Atomic Rooster (.069)

Barenaked Ladies (.058)

Apocalyptica (.047)

ASHES dIVIDE (.031)

? and the Mysterians (.004)

Complete Top 250 List (by ranking):

Shine On You Crazy Diamond (Parts 1-5) - Pink Floyd

Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd

2112 - Rush

Highway To Hell - AC/DC

Nutshell - Alice In Chains

Respect - Aretha Franklin

Rooster - Alice In Chains

Us And Them - Pink Floyd

Back In Black - AC/DC

Money - Pink Floyd

YYZ - Rush

Them Bones - Alice In Chains

Show Me How To Live - Audioslave

People - Andrew Jackson Jihad

Shine On You Crazy Diamond (Parts 6-9) - Pink Floyd

Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd

Day After Day - Badfinger

A Nervous Tic Motion of the Head to the Left - Andrew Bird

Bad Company - Bad Company

Alice's Restaurant Massacre - Arlo Guthrie

Chain Of Fools - Aretha Franklin

Do Me A Favour - Arctic Monkeys

Three White Horses - Andrew Bird

Cochise - Audioslave

Train Kept A Rollin' - Aerosmith

Everyday I Have The Blues - B.B. King

Think - Aretha Franklin

Again - Archive

Big Bird - Andrew Jackson Jihad

The Girl From Ipanema - Astrud Gilberto

Moanin' - Art Blakey

The Outsider - A Perfect Circle

La Villa Strangiato - Rush

The View From The Afternoon - Arctic Monkeys

I Know What I Am - Band Of Skulls

The Great Gig In The Sky - Pink Floyd

The Hunter - Albert King

Would? - Alice In Chains

Money - Barrett Strong

Cut And Run - Attack In Black

Fuller Love - Art Blakey

Sweet Sour - Band Of Skulls

Eve Of Destruction - Barry McGuire

Return To Sanity - Andromeda (UK)

Echoes - Pink Floyd

Working Man - Rush

The Noose - A Perfect Circle

The Spirit Of Radio - Rush

Tom Sawyer - Rush

People II 2: Still Peoplin' - Andrew Jackson Jihad

Neighborhood #4 (7 Kettles) - Arcade Fire

Shooting Star - Bad Company

21st Century - Bad Religion

I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor - Arctic Monkeys

Con Te Partiro - Andrea Bocelli

E.T.A. - Art Blakey

A Night In Tunisia - Art Blakey

Orpheo Looks Back - Andrew Bird

Born Under A Bad Sign - Albert King

Do I Wanna Know? - Arctic Monkeys

We're Only Gonna Die - Bad Religion

Dream On - Aerosmith

Fitzpleasure - alt-J

Dark Matter - Andrew Bird

Running Alone - Angra

My Body Is A Cage - Arcade Fire

Sun Rises Down - Acroma

Nobody Home - Pink Floyd

Poinciana - Ahmad Jamal

Sheep - Pink Floyd

Hey You - Pink Floyd

It's Only A Paper Moon - Art Blakey

Kyoto - Art Blakey

Sweet Sixteen - B.B. King

Light Of The Morning - Band Of Skulls

Truckers are the Blood - Andrew Jackson Jihad

Wake Up - Arcade Fire

Wells Fargo - Babe Ruth

Broken Things - Attack In Black

Cygnus X-1 - Rush

Cry For You - Andy Timmons

Ocean Of Noise - Arcade Fire

The Bluest Blues - Alvin Lee

Seasons Of Wither - Aerosmith

Mediterranean Sundance - Al Di Meola

Sail Away To Avalon - Ayreon

Day Sixteen: Loser - Ayreon

Boot Stamping On A Human Face Forever - Bad Religion

Feel Good Drag - Anberlin

I Remember You - Andre Previn

Rolling in the Deep - Adele

Pigs (Three Different Ones) - Pink Floyd

Another Brick In The Wall, Pt. 2 - Pink Floyd

Thunderstruck - AC/DC

Let There Be Rock - AC/DC

Like Love - Andre Previn

Fake Palindromes - Andrew Bird

Hold Your Head Up - Argent

Dr. Feelgood - Aretha Franklin

Still Take You Home - Arctic Monkeys

Whole Lotta Rosie - AC/DC

Hells Bells - AC/DC

Autumn Leaves - Ahmad Jamal

Race With Devil On Spanish Highway - Al Di Meola

Roads To Moscow - Al Stewart

When A Man Loves A Woman - Arlen Roth

R U Mine? - Arctic Monkeys

Please Come Back To Me - Albert King

Roadhouse Blues - Albert King

Something Good - alt-J

S.O.S. - ABBA

Darkest Before The Dawn - Anthony Gomes

Tema Jazz - Antonio Carlos Jobim

I'm Going Home - Alvin Lee

Walk This Way - Aerosmith

The Necromancer - Rush

Judith - A Perfect Circle

The Mexican - Babe Ruth

Ghetto Woman - B.B. King

Wave - Antonio Carlos Jobim

The Phantom Of The Opera - Andrew Lloyd Webber

Chains And Things - B.B. King

A Natural Woman - Aretha Franklin

Shadow On The Sun - Audioslave

Heaven On Their Minds - Andrew Lloyd Webber

No One - Andrew Jackson Jihad

Bat Country - Avenged Sevenfold

Incomplete - Bad Religion

Death By Diamonds And Pearls - Band Of Skulls

Always Alright - Alabama Shakes

Over Now - Alice In Chains

Cold Fame - Band Of Skulls

Baby Blue - Badfinger

Day Eleven: Love - Ayreon

Ahmad's Blues - Ahmad Jamal

Goodbye Blue Sky - Pink Floyd

Atom Heart Mother Suite - Pink Floyd

Miss Murder - AFI

How Blue Can You Get? - B.B. King

Impulse - An Endless Sporadic

Sweet Little Angel - B.B. King

Doesn't Remind Me - Audioslave

#1 Zero - Audioslave

Interstellar Overdrive - Pink Floyd

The Wall Street Shuffle - 10cc

As The Years Go Passing By - Albert King

Fearless - Pink Floyd

Distance - Andrew Jackson Jihad

When To Stop - Andromeda (UK)

Paranoid Eyes - Pink Floyd

Orbitals - Acroma

Xanadu - Rush

Run Like Hell - Pink Floyd

Is There Anybody Out There? - Pink Floyd

Buzzard - Armageddon

Perhaps Vampires Is A Bit Strong But... - Arctic Monkeys

Dat Dere - Art Blakey

The Aztec Suite - Art Farmer

Measure The Globe - Astronautalis

Have A Cigar - Pink Floyd

Dogs - Pink Floyd

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! - ABBA

Sagar - Ananda Shankar

(*Fin) - Anberlin

Morphing Into Nothing - Andromeda (Sweden)

Hate, Rain on Me - Andrew Jackson Jihad

Cast Your Spell Uranus - Argent

From The Ritz To The Rubble - Arctic Monkeys

I Never Loved A Man - Aretha Franklin

Dancing Shoes - Arctic Monkeys

Be Free - Argent

Fool - Archive

Die For The Government - Anti-Flag

Someday My Prince Will Come - Andre Previn

Skin Is, My - Andrew Bird

Danse Caribe - Andrew Bird

Overdose - AC/DC

Liar - Argent

Easter Sunday - Altamont

Rotten Apple - Alice In Chains

Honestly? - American Football

Rocker - AC/DC

It's A Long Way To The Top - AC/DC

Heartilation - Andrew Jackson Jihad

Groove Or Die - Andy Timmons

You Ain't Alone - Alabama Shakes

Left Hand Free - alt-J

Jailbreak - AC/DC

Brian Wilson - Barenaked Ladies

The Defense - Bad Religion

Devil's Answer - Atomic Rooster

Live Wire - AC/DC

Everything's Alright - Andrew Lloyd Webber

Beating Around The Bush - AC/DC

One - Apocalyptica

The Summer Ends - American Football

Year Of The Cat - Al Stewart

Off Key (Desafinado) - Antonio Carlos Jobim

Sprawl II - Arcade Fire

Why I Sing The Blues - B.B. King

And All Things Will End - Avenged Sevenfold

Devil's In My Den - Ahmad Jamal

Pigs On The Wing (Part One) - Pink Floyd

O Morro - Astrud Gilberto

The Stone - ASHES dIVIDE

Gone With The Wind - Andre Previn

Another Brick In The Wall, Pt. 1 - Pink Floyd

Give My Regards To Broadway - Andre Previn

Jumpin' Jack Flash - Ananda Shankar

Careful With That Axe Eugene - Pink Floyd

Pet - A Perfect Circle

The Wondersmith And His Sons - Astronautalis

Measuring Cups - Andrew Bird

All I Ask Of You - Andrew Lloyd Webber

Epiphany - Bad Religion

Empty Form - A Life Once Lost

By-Tor And The Snow Dog - Rush

The Quickening - Bad Religion

Lay My Head Down - Band Of Skulls

The Music Of The Night - Andrew Lloyd Webber

St. Francis Reel - Andrew Bird

Tenuousness - Andrew Bird

Crescendo of Thoughts - Andromeda (Sweden)

6 to 8 - AFI

King Kong - Babe Ruth

Gershatzer - Atomic Rooster

Finding My Way - Rush

Winter - Atomic Rooster

Laughing At The Blues - Arlen Roth

When The Sun Goes Down - Arctic Monkeys

God Called In Sick Today - AFI

The Nile Song - Pink Floyd

96 Tears - ? and the Mysterians

I Stay Away - Alice In Chains

Border Song - Aretha Franklin

Fluorescent Adolescent - Arctic Monkeys

White Face, Black Eyes - Andrew Jackson Jihad

Chameleon Carneval - Andromeda (Sweden)

This Time Imperfect - AFI

Fake Tales Of San Francisco - Arctic Monkeys

Guilt: The Song - Andrew Jackson Jihad

Black Dog - Babe Ruth

Candle in the Wind - Andrew Jackson Jihad

High Hopes - Pink Floyd

The Sixth Extinction - Ayreon

The Sky Is Crying - Albert King

Spanish for Monsters - Andrew Bird

I Won't See You Tonight Part 1 - Avenged Sevenfold

Evil Twin - Arctic Monkeys

I'll Play The Blues For You - Albert King

[bookwyrminspiration]

people keeping replying to my old alden pronunciation post so I'm going to turn it into a poll :)

Note: this is specifically about the AL part of his name. disregard how you pronounce the DEN when selecting your answer unless its vital. elaborate on it in the tags if you'd like, though

if we'd had polls then I would've used them, but I'm making up for it now.

[papermoonloveslucy]

LIZ WRITES A SONG

January 27, 1950

“Liz Writes a Song” is episode #73 of the radio series MY FAVORITE HUSBAND broadcast on January 27, 1950 over the Armed Forces Radio and Television Service. 

Synopsis ~ Liz is convinced that she is a musical talent, but when a music professor tells her she'll never be a singer, she decides to take up songwriting.

Portions of this script were later used as inspiration for “The Benefit” (ILL S1;E13) filmed on November 30, 1951 and first aired on January 7, 1952. The premise of the foursome gathering around the piano for a night of singing and discovering Lucy cannot hold a tune is identical to this radio script. 

This was the 22st episode of the second season of MY FAVORITE HUSBAND, the second of the new year and of the new decade (1950). There were 43 new episodes, with the season ending on June 25, 1950.

“My Favorite Husband” was based on the novels Mr. and Mrs. Cugat, the Record of a Happy Marriage (1940) and Outside Eden (1945) by Isabel Scott Rorick, which had previously been adapted into the film Are Husbands Necessary? (1942). “My Favorite Husband” was first broadcast as a one-time special on July 5, 1948. Lucille Ball and Lee Bowman played the characters of Liz and George Cugat, and a positive response to this broadcast convinced CBS to launch “My Favorite Husband” as a series. Bowman was not available Richard Denning was cast as George. On January 7, 1949, confusion with bandleader Xavier Cugat prompted a name change to Cooper. On this same episode Jell-O became its sponsor. A total of 124 episodes of the program aired from July 23, 1948 through March 31, 1951. After about ten episodes had been written, writers Fox and Davenport departed and three new writers took over – Bob Carroll, Jr., Madelyn Pugh, and head writer/producer Jess Oppenheimer. In March 1949 Gale Gordon took over the existing role of George’s boss, Rudolph Atterbury, and Bea Benaderet was added as his wife, Iris. CBS brought “My Favorite Husband” to television in 1953, starring Joan Caulfield and Barry Nelson as Liz and George Cooper. The television version ran two-and-a-half seasons, from September 1953 through December 1955, running concurrently with “I Love Lucy.” It was produced live at CBS Television City for most of its run, until switching to film for a truncated third season filmed (ironically) at Desilu and recasting Liz Cooper with Vanessa Brown.

MAIN CAST

Lucille Ball (Liz Cooper) was born on August 6, 1911 in Jamestown, New York. She began her screen career in 1933 and was known in Hollywood as ‘Queen of the B’s’ due to her many appearances in ‘B’ movies. With Richard Denning, she starred in a radio program titled “My Favorite Husband” which eventually led to the creation of “I Love Lucy,” a television situation comedy in which she co-starred with her real-life husband, Latin bandleader Desi Arnaz. The program was phenomenally successful, allowing the couple to purchase what was once RKO Studios, re-naming it Desilu. When the show ended in 1960 (in an hour-long format known as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”) so did Lucy and Desi’s marriage. In 1962, hoping to keep Desilu financially solvent, Lucy returned to the sitcom format with “The Lucy Show,” which lasted six seasons. She followed that with a similar sitcom “Here’s Lucy” co-starring with her real-life children, Lucie and Desi Jr., as well as Gale Gordon, who had joined the cast of “The Lucy Show” during season two. Before her death in 1989, Lucy made one more attempt at a sitcom with “Life With Lucy,” also with Gordon.

Richard Denning (George Cooper) was born Louis Albert Heindrich Denninger Jr., in Poughkeepsie, New York. When he was 18 months old, his family moved to Los Angeles. Plans called for him to take over his father’s garment manufacturing business, but he developed an interest in acting. Denning enlisted in the US Navy during World War II. He is best known for his  roles in various science fiction and horror films of the 1950s. Although he teamed with Lucille Ball on radio in “My Favorite Husband,” the two never acted together on screen. While “I Love Lucy” was on the air, he was seen on another CBS TV series, “Mr. & Mrs. North.” From 1968 to 1980 he played the Governor on “Hawaii 5-0″, his final role. He died in 1998 at age 84.

Gale Gordon (Rudolph Atterbury) had worked with Lucille Ball on “The Wonder Show” on radio in 1938. One of the front-runners to play Fred Mertz on “I Love Lucy,” he eventually played Alvin Littlefield, owner of the Tropicana, during two episodes in 1952. After playing a Judge in an episode of “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” in 1958, he would re-team with Lucy for all of her subsequent series’: as Theodore J. Mooney in ”The Lucy Show”; as Harrison Otis Carter in “Here’s Lucy”; and as Curtis McGibbon on “Life with Lucy.” Gordon died in 1995 at the age of 89.

Bea Benadaret (Iris Atterbury) was considered the front-runner to be cast as Ethel Mertz but when “I Love Lucy” was ready to start production she was already playing a similar role on TV’s “The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show” so Vivian Vance was cast instead. On “I Love Lucy” she was cast as Lucy Ricardo’s spinster neighbor, Miss Lewis, in “Lucy Plays Cupid” (ILL S1;E15) in early 1952. Later, she was a success in her own show, “Petticoat Junction” as Shady Rest Hotel proprietress Kate Bradley. She starred in the series until her death in 1968.

Ruth Perrott (Katie, the Maid) was also later seen on “I Love Lucy.” She first played Mrs. Pomerantz, a member of the surprise investigating committee for the Society Matrons League in “Pioneer Women” (ILL S1;E25), as one of the member of the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League in “Lucy and Ethel Buy the Same Dress” (ILL S3;E3), and also played a nurse when “Lucy Goes to the Hospital” (ILL S2;E16). She died in 1996 at the age of 96.

Bob LeMond (Announcer) also served as the announcer for the pilot episode of “I Love Lucy”. When the long-lost pilot was finally discovered in 1990, a few moments of the opening narration were damaged and lost, so LeMond – fifty years later – recreated the narration for the CBS special and subsequent DVD release.

GUEST CAST

Hans Conried (Professor Krausemeyer / Mr. Wood, the Cooper’s neighbor) first co-starred with Lucille Ball in The Big Street (1942). He then appeared on “I Love Lucy” as used furniture man Dan Jenkins in “Redecorating” (ILL S2;E8) and later that same season as Percy Livermore in “Lucy Hires an English Tutor” (ILL S2;E13) – both in 1952. The following year he began an association with Disney by voicing Captain Hook in Peter Pan. On “The Lucy Show” he played Professor Gitterman in “Lucy’s Barbershop Quartet” (TLS S1;E19) and in “Lucy Plays Cleopatra” (TLS S2;E1). He was probably best known as Uncle Tonoose on “Make Room for Daddy” starring Danny Thomas, which was filmed on the Desilu lot. He joined Thomas on a season 6 episode of “Here’s Lucy” in 1973. He died in 1982 at age 64.

Conried uses a German accent for the role of the Professor. He previously played Krausemeyer in “Piano and Violin Lessons” (aka “Professor Krausmeyer’s Talent Scouts”), episode #26, broadcast on January 14, 1949. Professor Krausmeyer is likely the inspiration for Professor Gitterman on “The Lucy Show.” It is unusual for Conried to play back to back characters in one episode, but he regularly plays Mr. Wood and listeners would know his voice. 

Hal March (Radio Host) first appeared on the "I Love Lucy” in “Lucy Fakes Illness” (ILL S1;E16) using his own name to play an actor posing as the doctor who diagnoses Lucy with ‘golbloots.’ March got his first big break when he was cast as Harry Morton on “The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show” in 1950. He eventually lost the part to Fred Clark who producers felt was better paired with Bea Benaderet, who played Blanche, and here plays Iris Atterbury. He stayed with the show in other roles, the last airing just two weeks before his appearance as Eddie Grant in “Lucy is Matchmaker” (ILL S2;E27). In 1966 he was seen on “The Lucy Show.”

Norma Zimmer (Radio Singer) was one of the citizens of Kildoonan in “Lucy Goes to Scotland” (ILL S5;E17). She also appeared as a chorus girl in Singin’ in the Rain (1952). She would become famous as Lawrence Welk’s Champagne Lady and 20 years later introduced the episode “Lucy Meets Lawrence Welk” (HL S2;E18) on the “Here’s Lucy” series 2 DVD. 

EPISODE

ANNOUNCER: “As we look in on the Coopers, it’s evening and Liz and George are entertaining George’s boss, Mr. Atterbury, and his wife. Dinner’s over and the group is in the living room having coffee.” 

George suggests they listen to the radio, but Mr. Atterbury hardly knows what the word means since he got his television set.  George flips on the radio and here’s a singer (Norman Zimmer) performing “Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo”. 

“Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo" (also called "The Magic Song") was written by Al Hoffman, Mack David, and Jerry Livingston for the 1950 film Cinderella. Coincidentally, it was first performed by actress Verna Felton, who would go on to play the Ricardo’s maid, Mrs. Hudson, and star in the Desilu sitcom “December Bride” as Hilda. The song was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Original Song in 1951 but lost out to "Mona Lisa" from Captain Carey, U.S.A.

Mr. Atterbury doesn’t understand the song’s nonsense lyrics. Liz explains:

LIZ: “It’s ‘Mairzys Doates' sung sideways.” 

“Mairzy Doats” is a novelty song written in 1943 by Milton Drake, Al Hoffman, and Jerry Livingston, two of the same writers that would create “Bibbidi-Bobbidy-Boo.” The song made the pop charts several times, with a version by the Merry Macs reaching No. 1 in March 1944. The song was also a number-one sheet music seller, with sales of over 450,000. Bing Crosby also had a hit with the silly song. 

George flips the radio off the radio and Mr. Atterbury complains that they don’t write songs like they used to. Iris sarcastically reminds him of his youth by asking him to sing ‘Vo-do-do-de-o.”

Iris is probably referring to “Vo-do-do-de-o Blues” a novelty song written by Jack Yellen and Milton Ager in 1927, although the term “Vo-do-do-de-o” was common slang in the 1920s and was found in a number of songs of the time.

Mr. Atterbury says that there was nothing like “When Francis Dances With Me” and “The Sheik of Araby” - even singing a few bars. 

“When Francis Dances With Me” was written by Sol Violinsky and Ben Ryan in 1921 and covered by The Andrews Sisters in 1958. “The Sheik of Araby” was written in 1921 by Harry B. Smith and Francis Wheeler, with music by Ted Snyder. It was composed in response to the popularity of the Rudolph Valentino feature film The Sheik.  On “I Love Lucy,” Lucy’s mother was a fan of Valentino and even sang a few bars of this song in “The Hedda Hopper Story” (ILL S4;E21) in 1955. 

Liz notices Mr. Atterbury’s good singing voice. George chimes in with a few choruses of “Yes Sir, That’s My Baby.” 

"Yes Sir, That's My Baby" was written by Walter Donaldson and Gus Kahn in 1925.  The title inspired a 1949 film of the same name starring Donald O’Connor and Gloria DeHaven, who will be reunited by Lucille Ball for “Lucy Moves To NBC” in 1980. 

The foursome settle on spending a night singing around the piano, starting with a chorus of “When You Wore A Tulip”. 

“When You Wore A Tulip And I Wore A Big Red Rose” was written in 1914 by Percy Wenrich and Jack Mahoney and popularized by Dolly Connolly (1888-1965).  It was part of the 1942 film For Me And My Gal sung by Gene Kelly and Judy Garland.

It becomes apparent that somebody is out of tune.

MR. ATTERBURY: “One of our songbirds has gravel in his beak!”  

No one will confess to being the clunker, so they sound one note at a team till it is revealed that it is Liz who has a tin ear!  Iris suggests they sing “Button Up Your Overcoat,” but their quartet has become a trio.  Liz must “button up her lip.”

"Button Up Your Overcoat" was written by Ray Henderson, B.G. DeSylva and Lew Brown in 1928, and was first performed by Ruth Etting, who appeared with Lucille Ball in Roman Scandals (1933). However, the most famous rendition of this song was by Helen Kane, the inspiration for the voice of Betty Boop. Jack Haley and Zelma O'Neal sang it on Broadway in the musical, Follow Thru (1929). They reprised the song in the film version in 1930. It has since been heard in nine films and multiple television shows. 

Next day, George says good morning to Liz, who went to bed early while George and the Atterbury’s sang the night away.

LIZ: “Well, if it isn’t Al Jolson. What time did Bing and Dinah go home?” 

Singer, comedian, and actor Al Jolson would die 9 months after this broadcast. He co-wrote and introduced the song “California, Here I Come” which was famously sung on “I Love Lucy” in an episode of the same name. Bing Crosby (1903-77) was one of the most successful multi-media stars of his time. He was mentioned by Ricky Ricardo on “I Love Lucy” in “Ricky’s Contract” (ILL S4;E10) in 1954. Dinah Shore (1916-94) was the top-charting female vocalist of the 1940s. Shore guest starred as herself on a 1971 episode of “Here’s Lucy” (HL S4;E7) and Ball made numerous appearances on her talk and variety shows.

Liz tells George that Professor Krausemeyer is coming over to give her voice lessons.  

LIZ: “Don’t be surprised if I’m singing on radio before long.” GEORGE: “Liz, television hasn’t hurt it that much!” 

In early 1950, television was still considered an upstart medium, inferior to radio. the idea that television might woo listeners away from the radio was being voiced, but most were still skeptical. As is evidence from the above TV program grid for January 27, 1950, CBS and ABC had no new programs up against “My Favorite Husband” on radio at 8:30pm. Many early television shows, including “I Love Lucy” were aired on both radio and television well into the late 1950s. 

GEORGE (leaving for work): “See ya at Carnegie Hall!” 

Carnegie Hall is an iconic concert venue in Midtown Manhattan in New York City. It is at 881 Seventh Avenue, occupying the east side of Seventh Avenue between West 56th and 57th Streets. It was built by philanthropist Andrew Carnegie in 1891 and it is still considered the epitome of a vocalists career to sing there. 

George bets that Liz will never sing on the radio - even going so far as to promise to roll an egg down main street with his nose if she does!

Katie the Maid opens the door to Professor Krausemeyer (Hans Conried).  His theory of singing is that if you can talk, you can sing.  The Professor is astounded just how tone deaf Liz really is, but he forges ahead.  He tells Liz to just sing something for him.  She choses “Stardust” - one of her favorites. Needless to say, she is terribly out of tune. He stops her. 

PROFESSOR: “You love that song?  LIZ: “Yes.” PROFESSOR: “I’d hate to hear you sing something you hate.”  

"Star Dust" was composed in 1927 by Hoagy Carmichael with lyrics added by Mitchell Parish in 1929. The song became an American standard and is one of the most recorded songs of the 20th century with over 1,500 recordings.  In “The Saxophone” (ILL S2;E2) in 1952, Ethel requests Lucy play “Star Dust” but it keeps coming out as “The Glow-Worm.”  

Professor Krausemeyer finally declares that there are two kinds of singers: those who sing, and those who listen. Liz is in the latter category! In Part Two, Liz is crying to Katie that she will never be a nightingale. Katie says her sister writes songs and lets others sing them. She wrote the ‘hit’ songs: “Think of Your Friends as Bananas and Count Me as One of the Bunch” and “I Call My Little Boy Tripod Since He’s Grown Another Foot.” Katie tells Liz there’s a weekly song-writing contest at the local radio station and Liz intends on entering it. 

LIZ: “Carrie Jacobs Cooper writes again!” 

Carrie Jacobs-Bond (1862-1946) was a songwriter who composed some 175 pieces of popular music from the 1890s through the early 1940s. She is perhaps best remembered for writing the parlor song "I Love You Truly", becoming the first woman to sell one million copies of a song.  The song was sung by Elizabeth Patterson when Lucy Ricardo renewed her vows to Ricky in “The Marriage License” (ILL S1;E26) and briefly by Viv Bagley in Chris Goes Steady (TLS S2;E16) in 1964.

After several hours of song-writing, Liz is going crazy repeating rhymes to write lyrics for her songs. Her neighbor, Mr. Wood (Hans Conried again) comes to the door and strikes a deal that they will be co-authors of songs for the contest. Liz plunks out the tune she has been working on. It is identical to “My Country ‘Tis Of Thee”!  Mr. Wood tells her that this also happened to him. He was once accused of stealing a tune from Tchaikovsky. but he didn’t. He actually stole from Freddy Martin who stole it from Tchaikovsky!

Freddy Martin (1906-83) was a bandleader and saxophonist who appeared as himself on a 1971 episode of “Here’s Lucy”. His theme song, “Tonight We Love,” was adapted from the first movement of Tchaikovsky’s First Piano Concerto. It sold over one million copies by 1946, and was awarded a gold record. 

Mr. Wood says they should should seek inspiration on songs from the past. Liz reckons that their song should have a girl’s name in it.

“Look at “Margie”, “Dinah”, “Laura”, “Sweet Sue”.

"Margie" (aka "My Little Margie") by Benny Davis, a vaudeville performer and songwriter. The song was introduced by the Original Dixieland Jazz Band in 1920.  

"Dinah" was written in 1925 by Harry Akst, Sam M. Lewis and Joe Young. One singer, Fannye Rose Shore, became so identified with the song that a DJ called her "Dinah Shore", which then stuck as her stage name for the next 50 years.

"Laura" was composed by David Raksin for the 1944 movie Laura, which starred Gene Tierney and Dana Andrews.

"Sweet Sue (Just You)" is a jazz standard of 1928, composed by Victor Young with lyrics by Will J. Harris. On “I Love Lucy,” it was one of the few songs Lucy Ricardo could play on the saxophone, next to the previously mentioned “Glow Worm.” 

Mr. Wood says there should be a city in it, too:

“Like Chicago”, "Chattanooga Choo-Choo", "Meet Me In Old St. Louis.” 

"Chicago" was written by Fred Fisher and published in 1922. The song has been recorded by many artists, but the best-known version is by Frank Sinatra. It was heard on screen in The Story of Vernon and Irene Castle (1930), Roxie Hart (1945), and Oh, You Beautiful Doll (1949).

"Chattanooga Choo Choo" is a 1941 song written by Mack Gordon and composed by Harry Warren. It was originally recorded by Glenn Miller and His Orchestra and featured in the 1941 movie Sun Valley Serenade. It was the first song to receive a gold record in 1942.

"Meet Me in St. Louis" is a song from 1904 with words by Andrew B. Sterling; and music by Kerry Mills. The song was the centerpiece of the 1944 Judy Garland movie, Meet Me in St. Louis.

Liz says it should also be a western, citing: 

“Ghost Riders in the Sky” and “Mule Train.”

"(Ghost) Riders in the Sky" is a cowboy-styled country / western song written in 1948 by Stan Jones. A number of versions were crossover hits on the pop charts in 1949, the most successful being by Vaughn Monroe.

"Mule Train" was written by Johnny Lange, Hy Heath, Ramblin' Tommy Scott and Fred Glickman. It is a cowboy song originally recorded by Ellis "Buz" Butler Jr. in 1947. The song was featured in the 1950 film Singing Guns (sung by Vaughn Monroe) and nominated for the Academy Award for Best Original Song in 1950, but lost to "Mona Lisa".

LIZ: “All we need is a girl  who is going to a city who falls in love with a ghost writer who beats her with a whip.  Let’s get started!” 

The day of the contest, Liz is nervously pacing by the telephone waiting to hear the results.  Mr. Wood went down to the radio station to see what he could find out. Mr. Wood phones and tells Liz the good news that they won!  They will both have to sing it on the radio that night, although Liz insists she will just stand nearby and look pretty while he does the singing. 

Arriving at the radio station with the Atterburys and George in tow, she finds out that Mr. Wood has developed laryngitis. The radio host (Hal March) introduces Liz and Mr. Wood, and tells him that she will have to sing for Mr. Wood, who has lost his voice.  Their song sounds suspiciously like “Home on the Range,” if Liz can only sing loud enough to be heard, that is.  

The host volunteers sings with her to boost her volume. 

LIZ & HOST (singing): “Oh, I’ve got a girl Her first name is Pearl She comes from Pittsburgh, PA. She looks like a witch, But her old man is rich,  and her last name is yippy ki-yay!”

Liz wins the prize and George realizes he will have to roll an egg down main street with his nose!

In the bedtime tag, Liz wakes up George, who is snoring. She puts a pillow over his face to stop his snoring, but then fears he has stopped breathing - until he gives another great, big snore. 

GEORGE: “Goodnight, Liz!” 

[argothiathedreamer]

📥🖊

📥 What is your fave fic to receive comments/messages on?

Hm, probably the Still Breathing series. Because it feels like -- aside from a few impatient folk -- everybody who has commented has had fun commenting (I've even had some people have so much fun they commented twice on the same chapters lol), which is the most important thing to me. It's lovely.

🖊 Post a snippet from a current WIP.

Some fun stuff from the next chapter of Into the Tiger's Den. Yet another Bat Family fic. I'm so sorry, I went to see The Batman on Sunday and I'm still not over how much I loved it.

Alvin looks around at the assassins surrounding him, making no attempt to hide the fact that he’s assessing their number and the room itself. Then he finally turns his attention to Ra’s. “You know, some people prefer written invitations to kidnapping.”

Gesturing for his assassins to stand down when they bristle at Alvin’s lack of respect, Ra’s speaks, “Your confidence is commendable, but you would do well to understand the situation you are in at the moment. Mind your tongue.”

That doesn’t require a response from Alvin so he takes al Ghul's advice for once and stays quiet.

“You’ve caused me quite the inconvenience.” Ra’s swirls the wine in his glass contemplatively. “Tell me, boy, what is your name?”

The eternal struggle of writing anything involving Ra's al Ghul is: is the possessive form Ra's' or Ra's's or do you just cheat and never use the possessive form of the first part of Ra's al Ghul's name.

[papermoonloveslucy]

CHARITY REVUE

March 11, 1949

“Charity Revue” (aka “Red Cross Benefit Revue”) is episode #34 of the radio series MY FAVORITE HUSBAND broadcast on March 11, 1949 on the CBS radio network.

Synopsis ~ Mr. Atterbury asks George to work up a song and dance routine for the local Red Cross Charity Review. At the same time Liz’s women’s club recruits her to perform. 

Note: This program was used as a basis for the “I Love Lucy” episode “The Benefit” (ILL S1;E13) filmed on November 30, 1951 and first aired on January 7, 1952.

“My Favorite Husband” was based on the novels Mr. and Mrs. Cugat, the Record of a Happy Marriage (1940) and Outside Eden (1945) by Isabel Scott Rorick, which had previously been adapted into the film Are Husbands Necessary? (1942). “My Favorite Husband” was first broadcast as a one-time special on July 5, 1948. Lucille Ball and Lee Bowman played the characters of Liz and George Cugat, and a positive response to this broadcast convinced CBS to launch “My Favorite Husband” as a series. Bowman was not available Richard Denning was cast as George. On January 7, 1949, confusion with bandleader Xavier Cugat prompted a name change to Cooper. On this same episode Jell-O became its sponsor. A total of 124 episodes of the program aired from July 23, 1948 through March 31, 1951. After about ten episodes had been written, writers Fox and Davenport departed and three new writers took over – Bob Carroll, Jr., Madelyn Pugh, and head writer/producer Jess Oppenheimer. In March 1949 Gale Gordon took over the existing role of George’s boss, Rudolph Atterbury, and Bea Benaderet was added as his wife, Iris. CBS brought “My Favorite Husband” to television in 1953, starring Joan Caulfield and Barry Nelson as Liz and George Cooper. The television version ran two-and-a-half seasons, from September 1953 through December 1955, running concurrently with “I Love Lucy.” It was produced live at CBS Television City for most of its run, until switching to film for a truncated third season filmed (ironically) at Desilu and recasting Liz Cooper with Vanessa Brown.

MAIN CAST

Lucille Ball (Liz Cooper) was born on August 6, 1911 in Jamestown, New York. She began her screen career in 1933 and was known in Hollywood as ‘Queen of the B’s’ due to her many appearances in ‘B’ movies. With Richard Denning, she starred in a radio program titled “My Favorite Husband” which eventually led to the creation of “I Love Lucy,” a television situation comedy in which she co-starred with her real-life husband, Latin bandleader Desi Arnaz. The program was phenomenally successful, allowing the couple to purchase what was once RKO Studios, re-naming it Desilu. When the show ended in 1960 (in an hour-long format known as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”) so did Lucy and Desi’s marriage. In 1962, hoping to keep Desilu financially solvent, Lucy returned to the sitcom format with “The Lucy Show,” which lasted six seasons. She followed that with a similar sitcom “Here’s Lucy” co-starring with her real-life children, Lucie and Desi Jr., as well as Gale Gordon, who had joined the cast of “The Lucy Show” during season two. Before her death in 1989, Lucy made one more attempt at a sitcom with “Life With Lucy,” also with Gordon.

Richard Denning (George Cooper) was born Louis Albert Heindrich Denninger Jr., in Poughkeepsie, New York. When he was 18 months old, his family moved to Los Angeles. Plans called for him to take over his father’s garment manufacturing business, but he developed an interest in acting. Denning enlisted in the US Navy during World War II. He is best known for his  roles in various science fiction and horror films of the 1950s. Although he teamed with Lucille Ball on radio in “My Favorite Husband,” the two never acted together on screen. While “I Love Lucy” was on the air, he was seen on another CBS TV series, “Mr. & Mrs. North.” From 1968 to 1980 he played the Governor on “Hawaii 5-0″, his final role. He died in 1998 at age 84.

Gale Gordon (Rudolph Atterbury, George’s Boss) had worked with Lucille Ball on “The Wonder Show” on radio in 1938. One of the front-runners to play Fred Mertz on “I Love Lucy,” he eventually played Alvin Littlefield, owner of the Tropicana, during two episodes in 1952. After playing a Judge in an episode of “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” in 1958, he would re-team with Lucy for all of her subsequent series’: as Theodore J. Mooney in ”The Lucy Show”; as Harrison Otis Carter in “Here’s Lucy”; and as Curtis McGibbon on “Life with Lucy.” Gordon died in 1995 at the age of 89.

This is Gordon’s first appearance as Rudolph Atterbury, a role previous played by Hans Conried. 

Bea Benadaret does not appear in this episode. 

Ruth Perrott (Katie, the Maid) was also later seen on “I Love Lucy.” She first played Mrs. Pomerantz (above right), a member of the surprise investigating committee for the Society Matrons League in “Pioneer Women” (ILL S1;E25), as one of the member of the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League in “Lucy and Ethel Buy the Same Dress” (ILL S3;E3), and also played a nurse when “Lucy Goes to the Hospital” (ILL S2;E16). She died in 1996 at the age of 96.

Bob LeMond (Announcer) also served as the announcer for the pilot episode of “I Love Lucy”. When the long-lost pilot was finally discovered in 1990, a few moments of the opening narration were damaged and lost, so LeMond – fifty years later – recreated the narration for the CBS special and subsequent DVD release.

GUEST CAST 

Gloria Blondell (Miss Marilyn Williams) was born to theatrical parents in New York City in 1910. She is the younger sister of Joan Blondell, also an actress. On radio, she did 26 episodes of seven different series. Blondell saw most of her work in the 1940s as the voice of Disney’s ‘Daisy Duck’ for Disney, doing six short films as Donald’s girlfriend. Blondell’s only screen collaboration with Lucille Ball was in “The Anniversary Present” (ILL S2;E3) in 1952, playing the Ricardo’s upstairs neighbor Grace Foster. 

Giving the character the first name of Marilyn is no doubt meant to remind listeners of up-and-coming sex symbol Marilyn Monroe. 

Gerald Mohr (Gerald Mohr) played psychiatrist Henry Molin, who masquerades as Ricky’s old friend Chuck Stewart in “The Inferiority Complex” (ILL S2;E18 ~ February 2, 1953), his only appearance on "I Love Lucy”. In return, Lucy and Desi appeared on his show “Sunday Showcase” that same year. He also made an appearance on “The Lucy Show” in “Lucy and Phil Harris” (TLS S6;E20 ~ February 5, 1968).

Mohr uses his own name for this appearance. 

EPISODE

ANNOUNCER: “As we look in on the Coopers this morning, George is still upstairs getting dressed. Liz is in the kitchen, talking to Katie the Maid.”

Liz tells Katie that she’s excited for the upcoming Red Cross benefit. She is planning to do an act with George representing her club. The only detail is that she hasn’t told him about it yet!  

The Red Cross is a humanitarian organization founded in 1863 to protect human life and health, to ensure respect for all human beings, and to prevent and alleviate human suffering. American Red Cross posters were a favorite of the Desilu set decorators on “I Love Lucy”. They can be glimpsed in the subway during “Lucy and the Loving Cup” (ILL S6;E12), on the walls of the rented hall in “Ricky Has Labor Pains” (S2;E14), in the butcher shop in “The Freezer” (S1;E29), and on the Westport train station in “Lucy Misses the Mertzes” (S6;E17).  

Liz goes into the dining room and sweet-talks George, covering him with kisses. He is immediately suspicious. Liz tells him that a woman in her club is doing an act with her husband for the Red Cross revue. George laughs and says the man will make a fool of himself - until Liz tells him that the man is him!

GEORGE: “You know if there’s one thing I hate more than that club of yours is amateur theatrics!” 

Liz reminds him that he had the lead in his college musical and he was a big hit. She sings a few notes of “Boola Boola” to remind him. 

"Boola Boola" is a football song of Yale University. The song was composed in 1900 and is generally attributed to Allan M. Hirsh, Yale Class of 1901. The song immediately caught on, soon being played by John Philip Sousa. It sold more sheet music in the first half of 1901 than any other song in the country, and became indelibly associated with Yale athletics. Is George a Yale man?

George is still reluctant, but Liz tries to convince him.

LIZ: “Jolson made a comeback. How about you?” 

Al Jolson (1886-1950) was a Lithuanian-born singer, actor, and comedian. Unabashedly billed as the World’s Greatest Entertainer, Jolson was the most successful musical comedy star on Broadway in the 1910s and 1920s. He was also a major radio star and the most popular solo recording artist of the 1920s, his biggest hits being “Sonny Boy”, “April Showers,” and “Swanee.” He inaugurated sound motion pictures with The Jazz Singer (1927) and made a series of musical films. He enjoyed a spectacular career comeback in the years before his death, largely due to the film biographies The Jolson Story (1946) and Jolson Sings Again (1949). Jolson’s use of blackface, dating from his early years in minstrel shows, made him a controversial figure.

George refuses to give in. 

At the bank, Mr. Atterbury calls George into his office. He tells George he should work up a song and dance routine with his wife to represent the bank in the Red Cross Revue. George says he can’t do it, but Mr. Atterbury threatens to demote him if he refuses. George admits defeat and reluctantly agrees. 

Back at home, Liz hangs up the phone after telling her club the she won’t be doing the act after all. George comes home cheerfully singing “There’s No Business Like Show Business”. 

“There’s No Business Like Show Business” is a song from Irving Berlin’s 1949 Broadway hit Annie Get Your Gun. It was introduced by Ethel Merman as Annie Oakley. In “Lucy Has Her Eyes Examined” (ILL S3;E11), Lucy Ricardo and the Mertzes burst into an rendition of the song as an impromptu audition for a Broadway producer. The song would also be quoted (not sung) by Lucy Ricardo in “Baby Pictures” (ILL S3;E5) and “Lucy Teaches Ethel Merman To Sing” (TLS S2;E18).  Merman and the cast of “The Lucy Show” perform it in “Ethel Merman and the Boy Scout Show” (TLS S2;E19 ~ February 10, 1964).

GEORGE: “Hiya, Liz!” LIZ: “Hiya, Bing.” GEORGE: “How do the old pipes sound?” LIZ: “Like they could use a little Drano.”

Liz is referring to singer, actor and comedian Bing Crosby, one of the biggest media stars of the 1940s. On “I Love Lucy” a Hollywood-bound Ricky called Crosby a bum - but dressed like him all the same. In “Lucy Takes a Cruise to Havana” (1957) Susie MacNamara tries to convince Lucy to become a Bing Crosby fan instead Rudy Vallee. Crosby’s name was mentioned on “The Lucy Show” and “Here’s Lucy.” The Drackett Company first launched the Drano product in 1923. Its purpose was to clear clogged pipes (not the human sort). Drano was originally produced in crystallized form.

Liz is surprised that George has suddenly changed his ‘tune’ and now wants to do the Revue with Liz as the star. He even has a song picked out for them. He sits at the piano and begins to play and sing “Zing! Went the Strings of My Heart”. 

"Zing! Went the Strings of My Heart" is a 1934 song with words and music by James F. Hanley. It was introduced in the Broadway revue Thumbs Up! The most notable recordings were made by Judy Garland, who recorded it numerous times, including in the 1938 film Listen, Darling in 1939. It later became a standard number in her concerts and TV shows.

Liz only has to sing one word “Zing!” After a few choruses, she stops the rehearsal, unhappy with her small part. 

On television, the song was “Auf Wiedersehen, My Dear” with Lucy only allowed to sing the word “Auf”! 

George agrees to find another opening song. They start to work on their comedy patter. While rehearsing the jokes, Liz realizes that George is telling all the jokes while she is the straight man not saying anything funny. 

LIZ: “I’m Liz Cooper, not Harpo Marx!” 

Harpo Marx (born Adolph Marx) was the second of five performing brothers. Harpo was so named because of his musical talent on the Harp, but he also never spoke in his comedy. In 1922, he and his brothers left vaudeville to perform on Broadway, and soon landed in Hollywood making movies together throughout the 1930s and 40s. Lucille Ball starred with the Marx Brothers in Room Service (1938) and Harpo famously guest-starred on “I Love Lucy” in 1955. 

GEORGE: “What would Amos be without Andy? What would Lum be without Abner?” 

Amos 'n' Andy is a radio and television sitcom set in Harlem. The original radio show, which ran from 1928 to 1960, was created, written and voiced by two white actors, Freeman Gosden (Amos) and Charles Correll (Andy). When the show moved to television, black actors took over the roles of Amos (Alvin Childress) and Andy (Spencer Williams). Lum and Abner was a radio comedy created by and starring Chester Lauck (as Abner Peabody) and Norris Goff (as Lum Edwards) that aired from 1931 to 1954. Modeled on life in a small town in Arkansas, the show proved immensely popular. 

Liz says that since they are representing her club, she needs to have the larger role. George confesses that Mr. Atterbury wants him to represent the bank. Liz says the act is off. George says he find one of the girls at the bank to be his partner. Liz assumes the ‘girls’ at the bank are old fuddy duddies! Next day, Miss Marilyn Williams (Gloria Blondell) arrives to rehearse. Her fuddy isn’t duddy at all! Liz tells Miss Williams that George left on a trip to South America. Just then, George bounds in and says he only went to put the car in the garage. 

LIZ: “I always get confused. Our car is a Reo.” 

Liz is punning on the homophones Rio (Rio de Janeiro, Brazil) and Reo (the make of automobile). Reo (sometimes seen REO) was founded by Ransom E. Olds in August 1904. Reo manufactured automobiles from 1905 to 1936, including the famous Reo Speed-Wagon, an ancestor of the pickup truck, which gave its name to the 1970s rock and roll group REO Speedwagon. Although World War II truck orders enabled it to make something of a comeback, the company remained unstable in the postwar era. In 1975, they filed for bankruptcy.

Miss Williams and George go into the den and close the door to rehearse while Liz and Katie listen on the landing just outside, peeking through the transom. They hear carefree laughter from the room. George and Miss Williams are rehearsing a love scene when Liz bursts in offering them a snack. Miss Williams says that Liz is acting jealous. Liz calls her an ‘older woman’. 

MISS WILLIAMS: “You don’t have to get nasty with me, Liz Cooper. I’m not going to steal your son away.” LIZ: “My son! Listen here, you poor man’s Marjorie Main!” MISS WILLIAMS: “You start anything and I’ll black your eyes to match your hair!” LIZ: “My hair is red.” MISS WILLIAMS: “I’m talking about the roots!” 

Marjorie Main (1890-1975) was then a 49 year-old character actress who earned a 1948 Oscar nomination for The Egg and I. In 1954 she was a supporting player in Lucy and Desi’s The Long, Long Trailer (1953). 

Next day, Liz has invited over a handsome man (Gerald Mohr) to rehearse a ‘passionate love scene with her’. It turns out that George and Gerald were fraternity brothers! George decides to sit by and watch Liz and Gerald rehearse. 

The scene is similar to Mohr’s appearance as a psychiatrist on “I Love Lucy,” where he flatters Lucy and inadvertently makes Ricky jealous as part of his ‘treatment’.  

George tries to distract Gerald by asking about former fraternity brothers. George and Gerald think the love scene will get a million laughs, which makes Liz dissolve into tears. 

The night of the Red Cross show, Liz tells Katie she’s going to be George’s partner no matter what!  George is on right after Evelyn and Her Magic Kazoo. Liz tells Miss Williams that George wants to see her in his dressing room - then locks her in!  

On an early episode of “I Love Lucy,” a jealous Lucy also locked her husband’s performance partner away - in a storage closet - so that she could take her place. Much later, an envious Lucy locked Tallulah Bankhead in a backstage bathroom so she could steal the spotlight during the Westport PTA show. 

Liz tells George Miss Williams couldn’t make it and she will talk her place. They go onstage. The music connecting the jokes is "When You Wore a Tulip and I Wore a Big Red Rose".

"When You Wore a Tulip and I Wore a Big Red Rose" was written in 1914 by Jack Mahoney and Percy Wenrich. At the time of broadcast (1949) it had been heard in sixteen films, including the 1942 film For Me And My Gal starring Judy Garland and 1949′s Chicken Every Sunday starring William Frawley (Fred Mertz). On “My Favorite Husband” it will also be heard in “Liz Writes A Song” (January 27, 1950). 

This time, however, Liz has stolen all of George’s punch lines!  

GEORGE: “A tramp came up to me and said he hadn’t had a bite in days.” LIZ: “What’d you do? Bite him?”

GEORGE: “Did you hear about the big fire at the shoe factory?” LIZ: “I’ll bet some heal started it!” GEORGE (hushed to Liz): “You’re supposed to say ‘Who stated it’.” LIZ (loudly): “Two hundred souls were lost!” 

George tries to outsmart Liz with a joke she’s never heard.

GEORGE: “I know a girl so dumb she thinks a football coach has four wheels!”  LIZ: “How many wheels does it have?” 

These are the same jokes that will be used in the television version “The Benefit” (ILL S1;E13) although the interlocutory music was changed to “We’ll Build A Bungalow”. The Arnazes loved the material so much that they started doing the "Songs and Witty Sayings" routine at various industry functions and charity events including the televised "Dinner with the President" event on November 25, 1953. The material was even part of the unreleased “I Love Lucy” movie. 

End of Episode

[thedenfantasyleague]

The Den Fantasy League Recap: Week 13

Fellas, Fellas, Fellas,

For some of us, we’ve made it. For some of us, you didn’t it. In the words of Boyz II Men: How did we come to the end of the road? Well, let me tell you.

Viking Quest v. Team Timshel

It was simple for me. Win and you’re in; at least, that’s what I was hoping. Thanksgiving was a test of my character as Mike’s Dak and Buff D Dip carved me like a turkey. After that, I found our Julio wasn’t playing so benched that bum Ryan in favor of Danny Dimes (no bueno). Despite not scoring a season-high for our league, Mike’s team was consistent across the board with only TWO players not reaching their projections. Mike was led by the aforementioned Dak and Buff D as well as Kennan and Gurley. My team did their best to put some points on the board with big games El Tractorcito, Juuls, and Alshon. I knew that as the night was winding down on SNF, I wasn’t going to win. But… I could still make the playoffs with a little help.

VP v. Debbie Rowe

Speaking of help, it came down to Jake and Vinny determining my playoff hopes and dreams. Vinny, like me, needed to win but was dependent on me losing as I held the tie-breaker. Vinny’s week didn’t start off too hot as Brees and Koo had below-average games on Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, on-side kicks don’t get you points. He did try to make up some ground with good games from DJ, Miles, and Steelers D but Vinny just couldn’t put up the numbers for a winning effort and found himself bounced. Jake, who has had a shaky couple weeks to end the season, still put up a respectable 97+ points this week. Jake was aided by big games from guys who are normally who play the supporting cast most weeks: Jack “O” Doyle, Saints D, and Butt-kicker. He was also aided by the resurgence of his little Cooper Kupp and the bounce-back of Deshaun. Can Jake’s stars return for the playoffs?

Wilmore Cinderella v. Professor Remus Lupin

In a battle of busted basketball players, we saw JP and Gabe square off. Before we got to MNF, JP had a rough start to his TNF players. His normal WR combo of Brown and Thomas both had subpar games. From there, other than Carson and Myers, no one else put up much of an effort. If only he would have played James White… Gabe, like JP, didn’t really do too much this week knowing they made the playoffs. He was led by Woods and Snell and got enough from the Vikings combo of Cousins and Diggs to give him the win. Some interesting matchups meet these two teams.

The Perfect Ten v. Kalabar’s Revenge

E, like me, just needed to win. That’s it. If he could just win, he would avoid his fate of Cabana Boy. We were worried that we’d see a repeat of last year when a previous champion fell all the way down to CB. E was taking on an opponent he knows well and G’s team played hard in their final game of the regular season. Led by his Bears (against my Lions), Mahomes, and Rams D, G’s squad did everything they could to secure a win. Unfortunately for E, only two of his players met their projections. Not what you want when you’re fighting for your playoff spot. E, who to his credit has produced well this season, put up one of his worst weeks when he needed it the most.

Hank Mardukas v. Virg. Gardening Minmaxers

Luckily for E, he was bailed out by Mr. Scott Duncan Rowe. Al needed a lot this week but he could’ve helped himself out with a win. That’s really the only thing he could have had happened to avoid the ill-fated CB role. Al was led by two of his trade acquisitions in Singletary and Rodgers. Other than that, no one else on his team scored in double digits. After it was all said and done, winning 3 out of his last 5, Al couldn’t put up enough points to even give himself a chance. Scott, who secured his #2 seed this week, was led by Lamar, Devante, Gesicki, and Lutz but that’s not the story. The story is Al is officially Cabana Boy. Oh, and Scott’s bench>>>.

Stick With Us PVO v. Mixon It Up You thought we forgot this matchup? Might as well have. We all knew what was going to happen. I’m going to say what we’re all thinking: Dylan owns Rob. I don’t know how we got here or what happened but Rob just hasn’t been able to beat Dylan. Rob, who has scored more than 70 ONCE in his last 7 games, came out flat again. Rob’s team was top-heavy this week with big games from Brady and his Bengals. The rest of his team? They averaged 2.49 points. TWO POINT FOUR NINE POINTS FOR SEVEN PLAYERS!!! THAT’S FACTORING IN ALVIN’S EIGHT POINTS! YIKES, ROB! Dylan only had three players surpass their projections in Badgley, Packers D, and Rubbie Anderson but it was enough to beat Rob again. Unfortunately for Dylan, he wasn’t playing Rob every week and now finds himself out of the playoffs for the fourth straight season.

Cabana Boy

As mentioned, Al joins the show.

Playoffs Round 1: 

Bad News: 

Whether it was on purpose or an accident, the trophy took a spill. E claims it was Ada but he may have been frustrated after a tough season. I’m not mad, just disappointed. 

As always, set your lineups accordingly. I want to say congrats to Jake on beating me this week. I’m just happy to be here. 

Your beloved Commissioner, 

Jared R. Mosqueda

[thedenfantasyleague]

The Den Fantasy League Recap: Week 8

Fellas,

There’s a lot of moving and shaking going on right now. With the NFL Trade Deadline today and Den teams moving up and down the ranks, there’s a lot to be excited about. It’s a simple one tonight. 

Stick With Us PVO v. El Commish

Dylan got off to a big start on Thursday with a massive game from Bailey, sending his projection through the roof. The big question after a hot Thursday night start is always the same: can the rest of the squad continue the trend? For Dylan, somewhat yes. Dylan put up a respectable 96.1 points this week which could occasionally win you a game. Dylan was led by guys like Saquon (20.3), Mack (15), and Fournette (13.6) to go along with Bailey’s aforementioned 16. Unfortunately for Dylan my team kicked it into gear and exploded throughout Sunday afternoon. After being forced to start Danny Dimes himself, I was concerned I didn’t stand a chance against Dyl but my team (and Danny) stepped up. Danny (28.2), Julio (15), and Juuls (19.5) all had their best games of the season then you throw in 20 from the Pats D you have a pretty good outing. I feel like I’m forgetting someone. Am I? Oh yeah. That’s right. Tevin had a modest 35.8, scoring 3 of his 4 TDs in the first half alone. As I said, Dylan didn’t really even stand a chance with an explosion like that.

Wilmore Cinderella v. Fire Jarn

I’ll be honest, I didn’t think it would be this early in the season but I think we’ve reached peak Rob. In Rob’s last two games, he’s averaging 53.9 points. Add in his last three (in which he snuck out a win against G) he’s averaging 65.2 points per game. That’s an implosion if I’ve ever seen one. The only bright spot (and the only player to reach double figures) was Aaron Rodgers who racked up 27.1 points. Everyone else was a dud. In fact, not a single other player hit their projection this week. Actually, that’s not true. Alvin Kamara who was projected zero (ya know, because he was inactive) hit his projection. As one of Rob’s biggest fans, this isn’t a good look for us. JP surged to his second-highest point total on the season and has quietly worked his way into a game under .500. Although he again picked the wrong QB and the week he finally doesn’t play a Chiefs WR he ends up scoring, JP found success in big games from Conner, Thomas, Stefon, and Lions D. Two teams that were trending in opposite directions seems to have pulled a Freaky Friday and are taking on different identities.

Team Timshel v. Debbie Rowe

To sum this one up: Mike, thanks for showing up. Mike saw his record come back to 4-4 and really had a lackluster week. He did find good games from Tannehill, AP, and his kicker but other than that no other player reached their projections. The story of this matchup was Hurricane Jane. The force to be reckoned with came out like a bat out of hell this week and put up an impressive 171.7. The points came from all over but massive games from Deshaun (27.8), CMC (23.5), Aaron Jones (34.6), Kupp (28), and Mike Evans (31.8) gave him enough to beat every team this week. Can Jake keep up this production after a letdown last week? Frankly, I don’t see him losing again. Jake’s team is bred to win a championship and I may go ahead and lock that in right now.

VP v. The Perfect Ten

DON’T LE THE KID GET HOT! Miami’s own stepped up this week and continued his momentum after taking down Jake last week. There was some concern early on for Vinny as he saw Miles Sanders putting up close to 20 on his bench but he persevered. His success can be contributed to guys like Hopkins (finally), Hooper, and Jags D. The real story is the return of Brees who put up a solid 24.9 in his return. Is Vinny’s winning streak a fluke or a second-half team surging? One team we can’t read right now is E. After getting over 100 points and the win last week, he came back down to earth with a disappointing 83.2. Obviously MVP candidate (some are saying) Matt Stafford had a great game and Latavius chipped in with 27.7 in the absence of Alvin but the rest of E’s team fell flat. With E, there’s always hope he can return to glory but is this the year he just doesn’t put it together? There’s still plenty of time before the playoff push but E’s team is searching for its identity.

Kalabar’s Revenge v. Hank Mardukas

Has Kalabar lost his October-mojo? We’ve always feared taking on Kalabar in the month of October but he has lost his third straight and only won one of his four contests in the spookiest month of the year. People forget Kalabar was defeated multiple times. Speaking of Kalabar’s defeat, G and Scott’s game came down to the final whistle on MNF. G tried to make it a game with big games from Royce and Montgomery and gave it everything he had with JuJu (USC Trojans Fight On) and Mason on Monday night. JuJu (USC Trojans Fight On) fought to keep G’s week alive but came up just short. Scott has quietly worked his way into an impressive 6-2 start to his season and isn’t looking like the chump we’re all used to. Scott’s impressive week started on Thursday night with Dalvin getting 23.1 and Vikes D getting 13. He then continued on with good games from Engram and then a massive game from Golladay. Is Scott a serious contender? Is he destined to burn out? Do we live in a world where Scott could win our league? Only time will tell.

Virg. Gardening Minmaxers v. Professor Remus Lupin

Oh, Al. How did you get here at 1-7? Currently, Al is sitting at the worst record in the league and this week didn’t offer much hope. Playing without two early draft picks (DJ and Thielen), Al struggled again this week. Mixon, DJ, Titans D, and Lambo all had good games but that’s about it. Cooks got concussed, Gore, Fitz, and Ertz did nothing, and even if played the guys on his bench he still comes up short. Al’s team is in a world of hurt and he needs to start making some moves of desperation to distance himself from the Cabana. Gabe, on the other hand, has excelled since the name change as he’s won his last five. Gabe went into this week without his star RB and was still able to snag the win with good games from Goff (Bengals stink), Carson, 49ers D (who Al called the 69ers Friday night), and Zane. Chubb did give him a scare with his two fumbles but was still able to get almost 10 points. The question everyone is asking though: is Gabe good? His last three wins have been against some of the league’s worst but sometimes that’s all you need to get some momentum. He’ll take on G this week which will be my game of the week. 

We’re starting to get into Cabana Boy realities as teams may begin to clinch their safety. Al obviously leads the way but there are still a few teams behind him that, if they slide, could be in danger.

Your beloved Commissioner, 

Jared R. Mosqueda

[thedenfantasyleague]

The Den Fantasy League Recap: Week 7

Fellas,

Don’t let the return of the NBA distract you from your Fantasy lineup. Let’s get to the recap.

El Commish v. Team Timshel

In our first of the “Anything Can Happen on a Monday Night” matchups, Mike and I battled to stay alive in the middle of the pack. Looking at our matchup, both of our teams very much underperformed. Mike only had four players in double figures in guys like Dak (20.6), Gurley (11.4), Buffalo D (10), and J-Tuck (12). Other than that, a lot left to be desired. His next highest scorer was 6.9 in Melvin who fumbled twice at the goal line and that was about it. It’ll be interesting to see if Sanu’s stock improves with his move to NE. Speaking of NE, their defense is easily my best player and basically won my matchup for me this week. Other than that, only Derek Henry (16.8) scored in double figures. Tevin played in a monsoon, Trav struggled without Mahomes, and Juuls had some bad drops. Then there’s Matty Ice. The Falcons had been the bane of my existence this whole season but they were big stat-padders until this past weekend. Matty has a bum ankle and left the game with 2.6 points. However, my team rallied and got the W. That’s all we can ask for.

Professor Remus Lupin v. Wilmore Cinderella

The question was: how would Gabe fare with one of his best players out? The answer, not bad. Gabe has been on a tear since the “kurses” bullied him into a name change. Gabe was led by big games from Goff (25), Zeke (20.7), SF D (13) and Zane (10). The rest of his team came up short but, lucky for him, he was playing a manager who just can’t catch a break. JP tried to make it a game with a massive game from Kirk (29.2), Thomas (13.1), Diggs (14.2), and Goedert (10.9). He did leave some points on his bench (because he keeps playing Demarcus Robinson who hasn’t had double figures since week three) and neither of his RBs (including his beloved James White) showed up. Sometimes you have a string of bad luck in Fantasy, sometimes you just suck as a Fantasy player. It’s up for JP to make that final decision on who he is.

Debbie Rowe v. VP

Another matchup, another MNF deciding factor. Jake came into this week as one of the leagues hottest teams and he was looking to continue his success into Week 7. Unfortunately for him, he was without his prized heifer McCaffrey and his team didn’t rally to produce a W this week. Jake was left wanting more with games from Deshaun, Cooper, and Fells. He did have good games from Aaron Jones (despite Rodgers’s selfishness), Lockett, Dorsett, Saints D, and Butt-kicker. Jake was hoping that Dorsett could come through on MNF but he came up just short. Vinny had a game he needed and he got it with Jake’s best player on a bye. Vinny was led by big games from Brisket, DeAndre, Hooper, and a monster game from the Jags against the Bengals (they suck). I for one was shocked. No way did I think Jake would lose another game. Oh well!

The Perfect Ten v. Kalabar’s Revenge 

In the battle of the two Kalmia loft roomies, we saw another game come down to MNF. G’s week came to a rough start with the injury to his prized player Mahomes. From there, nothing really got better. Yes, he did have good games from guys like Royce, A-Rob, Greg the Leg, and a huge game from the Rams D but not much after that. He had -0.1 from his newly acquired back, 3.4 from the returning Gallup, and disappointing outings from both Kittle and Le’Veon. E also contributed to the week of the bad QBs and some disappointing games from guys like Ingram, Ridley, Seahawks D, and -1 from his kicker. E’s success was found in four big games from the rest of his squad. E had a big Sunday from Waller and Latavius but again, it came down to Monday night. Sony had the opportunity but would he deliver after being vultured prior? He delivered. Despite only 42 yards rushing and -8 yards receiving, Sony found his success at the goal line three times on Monday night. He’s lucky he didn’t lose because can you imagine how sad it would be to lose with scores of 18.5 (Ekeler), 33.3 (Jones), 28.6 (Stafford), and 33 (Edmonds)?

Hank Mardukas v. Virg. Gardening Minmaxers

Two NKY boys enter, only one could be victorious. Scott and his bench didn’t put up much this week but it was enough to beat Al. He was led by big games from his top three Lamar (23.3), Dalvin (26.9), and Jacobs (13.4) which was enough to overcome sad games from literally everyone else. Please note that Scott’s bench only amassed 6.8 points. Al, whose team was projected a respectable 100 points, saw his team reach 69.1 on the week. Al had one of our lower scoring games as he only had two players in double figures in Josh Allen (21.3) and Lambo (13). Al’s team looked terrible this week: Cincy sucks, Thielen got hurt, and his defense couldn’t even muster up the 4.9 points it was projected. The worst part is that DJ took the first carry of the game for two yards and didn’t see the field again. Al instead saw the aforementioned Edmonds have the game of his life. Scott finds himself at 5-2 and Al sits at a struggling 1-6.

Fire Jarn v. Stick With Us PVO

This was the game that everyone was watching and boy did it live up to the hype. Over the years, no matter who was good and who was bad, Dylan always found a way to beat Robbie. Would that change going into our fourth fantasy year? No. Absolutely not. Dylan, whose team had been experiencing highs and lows, came out with a respectable 100.4 finish despite only having two players hit their projections (TY, 13.4 and Chiefs D, 23). Yes, there were some other players who didn’t meet their projections and still had good weeks but the important thing is that Dylan won. Now to the collapse we were all waiting for. Only two of Robbie’s players met their projections this week and, speaking of projections, his team missed theirs by 40.3 POINTS! No, there was not a typo: 40.3 POINTS! How did Rob get here? It started with Alvin missing this week because of injury and Godwin having a bye, then things took a turn for the worse. Devonta got thrown out for fighting a dude double his size, Kerryon got hurt, and he had to watch Aaron Rodgers (43.8) get almost the equivalent to his team’s points (46) all while he was sitting on his bench. Is this loss indicative of Robbie’s season thus far? No. Is this further proof that Dylan owns Rob? Yes. Oh and one last thing, Rob. A Tudor always pays his debts, right? Dylan’s Venmo is @dylantighe for that $1000 you owe him.

The Biggest Loser

Who else would we invite on other than Rubbie Tudor?

Good luck everyone and, as always, set your lineups accordingly. 

Your beloved Commissioner, 

Jared R. Mosqueda

[thedenfantasyleague]

The Den Fantasy League Recap: Week One

Fellas, 

It’s beautiful, isn’t it? Back to the stress-inducing, battery-draining world we love known as Fantasy Football. I’m excited to be your Commissioner as we go into this season and honored to lead you all into battle each week. I want to wish you all the best and success as we move into this new year. Let’s get onto the recap. 

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The Perfect Ten v. Hank Mardukas

Our defending champ returned to action and, although he put up fifth-most points, lost by almost 30 points. E’s strengths were really in four players and those four were the only ones to reach double figures on his team. With massive games from Ingram and Ekeler, E’s team was supplemented by good showings by Kyler and Prater. The big question mark is how does E rebound after losing Tyreek for an unknown amount of time? Where does he go from here? The question for Scott is: does he have a QB controversy? Scott was a wagon this week and demolished everything in his path. You thought G’s team showed out all weekend? Well, look at Scott’s who was our #1 scorer this week. Unlike E, Scott only had two players in single digits and was led by incredible games by Wentz (25), Dalvin (24), Jacobs (23.3), Golladay (10.2), Engram (17.6), Vikings D (15), and Lutz (14). He also did all that with Tyrell (16.5) and Lamar (33.6) on his bench. Is Scott the early favorite to win the league? Dirty Jocks himself? 

El Commish v. Fire Jarn

I’m disgusted. As Commish, you deserve better and I let all the fine gentlemen down this week. There have been rumors that I let Rob win this week and I will neither confirm nor deny. What I will say is I left a lot of points on my bench, take that as you will. My bright spots were few and far between: Henry went nuts (27.9) and Juuls had a good showing on SNF. Here’s where I messed up, my dumbass bought into the Jameis hype. In my defense, Matty Ice played horrible going into the fourth quarter and found a resurgence but man I’m an idiot. Adding to my demise was seeing Hollywood embarrass the Dolphins on his own with 26.7 points. I’ll say it though, Rob bested me. A huge game from the ageless wonder Brady and good games from Godwin, Alvin, and Bears D set Rob up for success. Thankfully, he didn’t play Desean but there was still a lack of production on his starting roster which could cause some concern moving forward. 

Wilmore Cinderella v. Team Timshel

On to the Cabana Boy redemption tour, shall we? On said redemption tour, JP showed us what we already seem to know: his one title might have been a fluke. JP laid an egg this week and had the third-lowest total of all teams. Only three players managed to meet their projects: Michael Thomas, Duke, and Jet’s D. That’s it. If you want to throw his bench in as well, then he’d have four total. Cma was/is trash, Conner and Lindsay sucked, even Ertz had a bad week. I’m hoping for his sake (and truly the sake of the league) JP turns it around and turns it around fast. Mike put up a modest 99.9 points to cruise to a victory. Unlike JP, his Quarterback was a stud with Dak getting 33.4 points. His always faithful Kennan Allen pick proved well, as well as Bills D and J-Tuck. Mike’s concern right now has to be around Melvin Gordon. Rumors are swirling that he won’t be available until Week 6 at the earliest so Mike may have to hold on for several weeks to get the Pro Bowl-caliber player back. 

Virginia Kuppcakes v. Stick With Us PVO

In our “Biggest Loser” game this week, we saw Dylan (unlike his Browns) show up on Sunday and get the win; Al did not. Things looked bleak on Thursday night when Al, led by Mitchell, fell flat on his face. He continued in his disappointment with poor outings from the normally reliable Mixon (injured) and Cooks, as well as high-upside OJ and Browns D. He did have promising games from DJ, Thielen, and Gostkowski. People have begun to ask: is he cursed for not taking Kupp? Dylan on the other hand, showed out this week. One of our top scoring teams was led by some big outings this week: Amari (16.6), TY (20.7), Delanie (17.5 against his beloved Browns, you hate to see it), Marlon (25.4), and a measly 14-point performance from Saquon. There were some question marks in performances from Fournette and his leading man, Baker. The biggest question here is: is Dylan’s success negatively correlated to the Browns’? Only time will tell. 

VP v. Kalabar’s Revenge

Wow. What a week for G. So much so that Vinny never really stood a chance. October came early for G this year and his sorcery is in full effect (more on that below). He started off the week with A-Rob on what was really the only impressive stat line from TNF. He then proceeded to go off benefitting from the magical connection that was Mahomes (27.3) and Watkins (37.8!); oh, and throw in 17+ from Le’Veon and 14 from Greg the Leg and you’re set. Vinny, like his Dolphins, yucked it up out there but he was able to bounce back. He clawed his way back with big games on MNF from Brees, Hopkins, and Sanders on top of good outings from Damien and Gould. After all the early embarrassment, Vinny’s squad put up respectable numbers in Week 1. 

Mr. Magorium v. Debbie Rowe

Finally, this week’s curse/game of the week. As we all heard on Sunday, G used his weekly Kurse on Mr. Magorium himself. Despite Gabe, who had one of the highest projections going into week one, found himself with the second lowest total at the end of it.When asked for comment regarding the Kurse, Mr. Measner stated: “We don’t believe in such things.''  So the question I have for you reader is, do you believe in coincidences? Only one of Gabe’s players reached their projection this week. That was Chris Carson. Chris Carson helped beat the Bengals. Coincidence? In Gabe’s defense, Jake had himself a week despite it starting with a dud on TNF. He was later led to success by guys like Deshaun (30.7), McCaffrey (32.9), Lockett (10.4), and Butker (17). Jake’s concern could be at the players who didn’t perform (Jones, Evans, and Kupp) who normally are solid point producers. However, if guys continue to produce 30-point games, he has nothing to worry about. 

Biggest Loser: 

This week we welcome on our Biggest Loser match-up participants, Al and Dyl. 

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What a week one. Was it sloppy? Yes. Were stars born? Maybe. What I do know is that we get to do it all again Thursday night. Best of luck on the wire and, as always, set your lineups accordingly.

Your beloved Commissioner,

Jared R. Mosqueda