#ITSWM

[sequinsmile-x]

Day-to-Day

Chapter 4: Aaron

Words: 5k

Warnings: None 

Read over on ao3, or below the cut.

Please let me know what you think <3

December 2009

He’d convinced her to go. Aaron had seen her hesitation as she stood at the front door of their temporary apartment, the twitch in her fingers when Amelia almost immediately reached out for her after Aaron took her. The way she bit her lip when Theo asked her, again, if she really had to go out.

She did have to go, despite how much she would deny it. He knew she needed some time with her friends, and Penelope and JJ had practically begged for a girls night. The 6 months Emily had been gone long and drawn out for all of them. She talked them down to dinner, not wanting to spend too long away from her family that had been so delicately stitched back together. Getting a table at any restaurant so close to Christmas had been difficult, but being the daughter of an ambassador had its advantages, and for once Emily hadn’t been hesitant to use them.

Aaron had sent her on her way with a kiss to her cheek and an assurance that they would be ok without her for a couple of hours.

He was now slightly regretting that decision, but he would never tell her. Their children were feral. Jack was in a mood. His teenage angst was out in full swing this evening, the anger he had experienced shortly after Haley’s death coming back to the forefront in the fallout of the situation with Foyet. He was hiding out in his room, playing a video game and ignoring his father.

Theo was asking where Emily was every few minutes and when she’d be back. He tried to placate his son with his favourite tv show and pizza, and it wouldn’t do. Theo was sitting in the living room, sideways on an armchair as he watched the front door intently. Aaron knew he was going to have to have a conversation with Emily soon about the attachment issues, but it was not the time yet, knowing his wife wouldn’t take it well either. That part of her loved that their son constantly sought her out.

Amelia was cranky. She still didn’t fully trust him, but things were better than they had been when she first shied away from him a few weeks ago. He knows that Emily nursed her before she puts her to bed, that it’s a treasured part of his wifes daily routine, so in the hope that a snack will help he grabs a small yoghurt from the fridge and places her in her high chair.

He feeds her, and although just under half of it ends up on her face, she does calm down a little whilst she is eating. He cleans her up, but she starts fussing again almost immediately.

As soon as Emily walks into the apartment he breathes a sigh of relief. Theo jumps out of the chair and to his mothers side, immediately hugging her.

“Mommy, I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” She kneels down to hug him properly, kissing the side of his head. She pulls back to look at him, thumb worrying over the now mostly healed cut on his forehead that he had acquired during Aaron’s final showdown with Foyet. She looks over and sees Amelia crying in Aaron’s arms. “It’s late, why don’t you go to bed and I’ll come say goodnight in a bit?”

Theo nods, hugging her again before bounding off, throwing a goodnight aimed at his father as he runs down the hallway.

“You were right.” She says, happiness pouring off of her as she removes her coat and shoes at the door. “I really did need that. Pen kept trying to convince me to drink wine even though I told her I’m still nursing.” She says with a laugh in her voice, she turns to him and the smile slides off her face as she takes in the sight of him, and he realises how stressed he must look.

Ameila tries to turn in his arms at the sound of her mother’s voice and starts to cry harder as she reaches out for Emily. Aaron transfers her with little fanfare, knowing that whatever was wrong with the little girl was something only his wife could fix.

“What's this all about, baby?” Emily says as she holds her daughter tightly, her lips pressed to her forehead as she rocks her. “Has she been like this since I left?” She asks as she looks up at her husband.

“The past hour.” Aaron says, watching as Emily gently bounces Amelia in her arms as she attempts to settle the 11 month old. “I’ve been struggling to calm her down.”

The sympathy on his wifes face makes frustration flood his veins, another reminder of something Foyet had taken from him. His relationship with his daughter was still fragile, the way she was still unsure around him a punch to the gut every time she frantically reached out for her mother. Emily looks at the high chair and frowns when she spots the yoghurt pot still sitting on the tray.

“Did she eat that?” Emily asks, her hand rubbing delicate circles on Amelia’s back.

Aaron looks over before turning back to his wife. “Yeah, she was cranky. They all were. I thought a snack would help tide her over until you got home.”

Emily hesitates. It’s fast, almost undetectable, but he catches it.

“Aaron.” Her voice is soft, gentle in a way that was usually only used on the children when she wanted them to know they weren’t in trouble. “She’s lactose intolerant.”

The memory hits him suddenly. Emily curled up next to him in the hotel room they had stayed in when they were first reunited, filling him in on anything and everything to do with the kids. He remembers her telling him that the doctors had got to the bottom of Amelia’s bad stomach, and that she was dairy free herself because she was still nursing her. She’d lamented missing chocolate and cheese, and joked it was her biggest sacrifice as a mother so far.

“I’m sorry.” He stutters, not sounding like himself as it dawned on him. “I’m sorry.” He repeats as he runs his hand through his hair.

“Aaron, baby, it’s ok.” She says, her hand on his arm. She has Amelia on her hip, one arm securing their grumpy baby to her. “It happens. I should have reminded you before I went out.”

“I should know what my daughter can and cannot eat without being reminded.” He seethes, his anger aimed at himself. He tears his arm from under her hand and takes a couple steps back. He watches as she tries to placate him further, useless reassurances on the tip of her tongue. “I’m going out.”

“Honey-”

“I need some air.” He grabs his keys from the side table and leaves the apartment before she can argue any further, the door closing a little too harshly behind him.

Emily sighs and closes her eyes. Amelia buries her head further into her mothers neck, whining as she did so.

“Oh, sweet girl. I know you feel icky.” She kisses the side of her daughter's head and rubs her back. “Let's go see what your brothers are up to.” She kisses her head again and walks through the apartment in search of her sons. ________________

She feeds and settles Amelia before reading with Theo for a bit, smiling as her son drifts off to sleep against her side. She quietly slips out of his room, well practised at the quick and silent exit, and gently closes his bedroom door. Jack gives her a small wave and a grunt when she pops her head into his room, his grumpiness obvious the second she lays eyes on him.

Emily washes her face, blowing out a breath as she takes in the sight of herself in the bathroom mirror. Any joy, any relief she felt after spending an evening with her friends had wilted as quickly as it had bloomed in her chest. The lightness that JJ’s laugh, and Penelope’s overly personal questions about Emily and Aaron’s reunion, had brought was torn away by the devastation in her husband's eyes just before he left the apartment.

Everytime they made progress, every step away from what Foyet had done to Aaron, to their family, it felt like they were thrown right back into it. Emily was exhausted. She missed the version of them that had existed before she had come home to find her husband missing and his blood staining their hardwood floor.

She wondered if they’d ever get the old them back, or if they would slowly build something better. Emily was hopeful that the move to the new house would help, that it would give them new foundations. Somehow even stronger than the ones they had before.

She’s finishing up getting ready for bed, pulling her pyjama shirt over her head, when she hears the front door open, and her husband’s familiar steps throughout the apartment. She hears their bedroom door open and close quickly. She takes a deep breath before she walks out of the ensuite and she sees him sat on the end of the bed, his head in his hands. She sits next to him, purposely keeping her hands to herself despite how much she wants to touch him, to assure him everything was ok. A slight clench in his jaw is the only indicator he has even registered that she's there. She waits him out, knowing he needs to process this himself before he’ll speak to her.

“I should have remembered.” He finally says, removing his head from his hands but not looking at her.

“Aaron-”

“Don’t.” He interrupts, finally looking at her. There are unshed tears in his eyes that make her heart ache. Thoughts about how she could find a way to bring George Foyet back to life just so she could kill him herself burning through her.

“Don’t what?”

“Tell me that it’s ok. Because it isn’t.” He shakes his head at himself. “I gave our little girl…” His voice falters and he clears his throat. “I gave her something that’s made her sick.”

“And so did I.” She reasons, and she grabs his hand. “For the first almost 5 months of her life she was getting it through my breast milk. You did it once. Give yourself a break.”

“I should have remembered.” He says, repeating himself.

“Baby.” She says, moving her hands to grasp his cheeks. “Please stop this. She’s going to be ok. She is ok. She’s fast asleep next door.” She leans her forehead against his, her thumbs stroking his cheeks. “We’re all ok.”

He starts to cry, sobs escaping him that he hadn’t set free since their ordeal had ended. Emily had been waiting for it as he processed everything at his own pace. She pulls him towards her, his head resting on her chest as she wraps her arms tightly around him, one hand in his hair as she presses fierce kisses to the top of his head.

“I’m right here.” She kisses the top of his head again, unsurprised when she can feel her own tears on her face. “You’re ok. I’m here.”

She comforts him like she does their children. With tender words and soft touches, the whispering of nonsense against his hair as he slowly calms. The grip he has on the back of her shirt loosens ever so slightly.

Aaron sniffs as he pulls back, a shaky smile on his face as she wipes his tears away with her thumbs.

“I’m sorry.” He apologies, his voice cracked and torn open by the months of repressed emotion he had let out against her skin.

“You have nothing to apologise for.” Emily says tenderly. “I’m your wife. This is what I’m here for.”

Amelia’s cry through the baby monitor visibly undoes some of the work she had done in calming him down, some tension returning to his shoulders. Emily kisses his cheek before she stands up.

“You get ready for bed, I’ll go see what's up with her.” She says just before leaving the room, crossing the hallway into the small bedroom serving as Amelia’s temporary nursery. Most of the baby's things are boxed up ready for the move to the new house. Emily smiles as she approaches the crib, Amelia already standing with her arms reaching out for her. “What’s wrong, sweet girl?”

She picks up her daughter, settling her on her hip as she kisses the side of her head. Amelia almost immediately settles, her crying quietening down as she presses her face into her mother’s neck.

“You just wanted to cuddle, huh?” Emily says, pacing the small room. “I think your dad could do with a cuddle too.”

Emily walks back into their bedroom to find it empty, but the tap running in the ensuite calms any nerves that he had left again. She settles into bed and lays Amelia on her chest, the baby snuggling down, her fingers grasping at her mother’s shirt.

When Aaron leaves the ensuite he falters slightly at the sight in front of him. Emily catches it, the small hesitation before he climbs into bed. Amelia is already half asleep, the discomfort she had been in when Aaron last saw her gone, and Emily watches the tension leave him as he sees with his own eyes that the baby is ok.

“See, she’s fine.” Emily says, smiling at him as he lays down next to them.

He kisses the top of Amelia’s head, which makes her open her eyes. She reaches out for him and he carefully takes her to settle her against his own chest. Emily smiles as she moves to be closer to them, her head resting on Aaron’s chest next to their daughter. He presses a kiss to the top of his wifes head.

“My girls.”

“Yeah.” She replies. “Your girls.” ________________

April 2021

Aaron sighs in frustration as his phone rings, distracting him from his lesson plans. Emily often teased him for his interpretation of retirement, the profiling classes he taught at the academy taking up a fair amount of his time. He turns from his computer to pick up his cell phone, frowning when he sees a number he doesn’t recognise as he answers.

“An inmate at the Federal Correctional Institution in Otisville, New York is calling you, to accept the charges please press one.” An automated voice says through the phone.

The name of the prison makes him freeze, there is only one person he knew who was in prison in New York. He presses one and puts the phone back to his ear, waiting for the call to connect.

“Aaron?” He hears down the phone, the voice on the other end of the tinny line was unsure, nerves easily showing through.

“Sean?” ________________

The rest of the day goes by in a blur and the next thing he is truly aware of is the front door opening, Amelia and Theo bursting in, both of them animatedly talking about their days.

“Hi Dad.” Theo says as he passes through the kitchen where Aaron is sitting, grabbing a snack and leaving the room almost immediately. “I’ve got loads of homework, back in a bit.”

“Hi Theo.” He says, a small smile on his face as his ever studious 18 year old is already out of the room, his mind clearly on whatever work he was assigned that day.

“Dad, do we have any antacids?” Amelia asks as she joins him in the kitchen, grimacing as she walks in with her arms wrapped around her stomach.

“Are you ok, sweetheart?” He asks, frowning, pulling her into a quick hug she only protests slightly as she walks past.

“Yeah, just a bad stomach.”

Before he can ask any more questions the front door opens again, and Emily’s voice soon follows.

“Hi.”

“We’re in the kitchen, Em.”

She joins them, a wide smile on her face as she kisses his cheek.

“Everything ok?”

“Everything is fine.” Amelia answers far too quickly.

“Mills has a stomach ache.” Aaron says, and he can’t help but smirk at the way she narrows her eyes at him.

“Traitor.”

“Amelia.” Emily says, her hand gently grasping her daughter's chin to tilt her head, sighing when she sees the hives on her neck. “You had the cheese fries for lunch again didn’t you?”

The 12 year old sighs, knowing lying to her mother, to either of her parents, is pointless. “Yes.”

“Baby, you’re lactose intolerant.” Emily chastises as she tucks some of Amelia’s hair behind her ear.

“Mom, it's cheese fries. Totally worth it.”

Emily sighs, knowing that the slight grimace on her daughter's face is nothing to do with her rebuke, but the discomfort she knows she is in.

“There is some Pepto in the medicine cabinet in our bathroom. Go take some and go lie down.”

Amelia smiles gratefully and starts to make her way out of the room before she turns back. “I’m not going to find anything gross in there am I?”

“Amelia.”

“What?” She says, throwing her hands up. “I’ve caught you guys making out way too many times not to check. I’ve been burned before.”

Emily raises an eyebrow at her. “Go. Now.”

“I’m going.” Amelia says as she leaves the room, something a bit too close to a curse word muttered under her breath.

“That girl will be the death of me.” Emily says as she turns to Aaron, his silence throughout her exchange with their daughter, the lack of quips about how similar they were, now only striking her as odd as she takes in the look on his face. His gaze fixed in the distance, not focused on anything in particular. She frowns and takes a step closer to him, placing her hand over his on the counter. “Honey, are you ok?”

He looks at her, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Sean called me.”

Emily doesn’t cover her shock, her hand tightening over his. It had been years since they had heard from Sean. The supposed truce the brothers had come to in New York, when a rare family vacation had turned into a case, had fallen apart as soon as Sean was formally sentenced. Aaron had tried reaching out at the beginning, attempting to visit his brother, but it had always been radio silence on the other side.

Over time he stopped trying, his attempts at calling Sean getting further apart. His requests to go see him stopped. To anyone else it would look like Aaron had accepted it, that he simply was no longer going to be a part of his brother's life. Emily knew better than that.

“What?”

“He called from prison. He wants me to go see him.”

“Oh.” She replies, taking a second before she joins him at the kitchen island, linking their fingers together properly as she settles next to him on one of the stalls. “Are you ok?”

“I think so.” He answers, looking at her, uncertainty all over his face despite his answer. “No.”

Emily places her spare hand on his thigh. “What do you want to do?”

“I want to see him.”

She nods, squeezing his leg in comfort. “Then we’ll go.” She smiles when he turns to look at her, his brows furrowed.

“You don’t have to come with me, it’s fine. I know work is busy.”

“Aaron.” She replies firmly, leaving no room for argument as she moves her hand from his leg to cup his cheek. “I’m coming with you.”

“What about the kids?”

“We’ll be gone one night. Theo is sensible enough to look after Amelia, and Jack lives 20 minutes away if they need him.” She pulls him towards her for a kiss. “Stop arguing with me, it never gets you anywhere.”

His lips twitch, a brief smile taking over. “You think I would have learnt that by now.” _______________

It takes a couple of weeks for them to get things lined up, so that the quick trip to New York wouldn’t disrupt their day-to-day lives too drastically.

Amelia was unimpressed when they told her that Theo was in charge, rolling her eyes at the thought that she needed babysitting, but when they come to leave her attitude fades when she sees how stressed her father was, how on edge he seems as he checks they have everything before they set off on their drive.

She doesn’t remember her Uncle Sean, she had only met him once when she was 3, and she knew enough from what her brothers and parents had told her about that trip to New York to know why she had never seen him again. Another seemingly life changing moment they went through as a family that she had no memory of, relying on hearsay from her brothers and the toned down version she knew her parents told her.

“Please behave for your brother, Amelia.” Emily says as she hugs her daughter.

“I always behave.” She replies, rolling her eyes when she sees her mother raise her eyebrow. “Ok fine, I’ll be good.”

Aaron hugs her next, and Amelia doesn’t miss how he holds her a little tighter than usual. She hugs him back, smiling when he kisses her forehead as they pull apart.

She feels bad for her dad, knowing how much he values his family tells her how much it would hurt him to not be in touch with his brother. Amelia considers how it would feel to not be speaking to Jack or Theo, and despite how much they both annoy her frequently the idea makes her heart clench.

“Call if you need anything, ok?” Aaron says and Amelia nods before pulling him back into a hug.

“I love you, Daddy.” She says, using the moniker she dropped a couple years ago and it makes her chest fill with happiness when he smiles into the top of her head.

“Love you too, Amelia.” ________________

The drive is long, and quiet, and by the time they pull up to the prison Emily is grateful to see it. Aaron had insisted on driving and she’d let him, knowing it would ultimately be worse for him to not be occupied on the trip here. She was planning on taking over when they left for their drive back to the city, but she hadn’t mentioned it yet, knowing that he would already try and argue that point.

They get through security and are shown to the visiting room. They take a seat next to each other and Emily turns to him, trying to read her husband’s face.

“Are you ok?”

He chuckles. “Ask me later.”

A buzzer sounds and a door opens, prisoners walking out and greeting their family and friends. Towards the back is Sean. Emily thinks of the first time she met him. He wasn’t much older than Amelia was now, and already damaged by the things he had been exposed to in his young life. She remembers how he had been nervous around her, a crush on her that he barely concealed.

“Aaron, Emily.” He says as he makes it to the table. Aaron stands and hugs him, and then Emily does the same.

“Sean, how are you?” Aaron asks as they sit down.

“As good as I can be considering I’ve been here nearly 10 years.” He says, his eyes fixed on his brother. He looks at them both. “You guys have hardly changed. How are the kids?”

“I have a picture.” Aaron says, pulling out his wallet and removing the photo of his family that he keeps in there. It was taken on Emily and Theo’s birthday the year before, her 50th and his 18th, all five of them and Sara together and smiling. It was one of his favourites. He slides it across the table to let his brother look at it.

“Wow, they look grown up.”

“It’s been a long time.” Aaron says, the conversation stilted. The awkwardness cloying, making the air around the table feel thick.

“Jack is 28 now, and married. That’s his wife, Sara, in the picture with us” Emily says, trying to break the tension. “Theo is 18 and Amelia is 12.”

Aaron is staring at his brother, profiling him as he listens to Emily talk about the kids. He watches as she explains that Jack is a resident at Georgetown, and that Theo was going to Cornell in the fall. He watches as his brother listens to her stories about Amelia, their wild thing of a daughter who kept them both on their toes. He recognises his brother's expression, it’s one he perfected when they were young, a way to get what he wanted from their mother. It clicks in his head, and he wonders why he didn’t think of it sooner.

“What do you want Sean?” He asks, interrupting the conversation between his wife and brother.

“Aaron-” Emily begins to say, uncertainty in her voice.

“He wants something. That's why he asked me to come here.” He looks back at his brother, and Sean chuckles slightly.

“You don’t miss anything do you? I’m up for parole soon.” Sean explains. “My lawyer said it would be good to have someone upstanding talk at my hearing, and I don’t know anyone more upstanding than you.”

“You want me to talk at your parole hearing? That’s why you got in touch?”

Emily feels how tense her husband gets next to her, the disappointment he clearly feels at Sean only getting in touch because he needed something palpable. She grabs his hand under the table, providing the best support she can in the moment. He lightly squeezes her hand in a silent thank you.

“Yeah. I told my lawyer what you do for a living and he said it was perfect.” Sean says, missing the way his brother sighs, the brief closing of his eyes as he tries to cover his disappointment. “So will you?”

“Of course.” Aaron replies, clearing his throat as he does. “Get your lawyer to send me the details.” He turns to Emily. “Excuse me for a second.”

He gets up and walks towards the bathroom. Emily turns her attention back to her brother-in-law.

“Are you kidding me, Sean?” She says, exasperated.

“What?” Sean asks, his face screwed up in confusion.

“It’s been 9 years.” She explains. “9 years and you reach out because you want something.”

“It’s thanks to him that I’m in here in the first place.”

“You know that’s not true, Sean.” Emily implores, and she stares at him until he relents and nods. “He’ll do it for you because he’s your brother and he loves you. But when you get out you will work on your relationship with him. I won’t let you use him for this and then disappear from our lives again.”

“Are you...threatening me, Emily?” He asks, an eyebrow raised at her in a way that reminded her of Aaron.

“Very much so.” She says seriously, before she smiles. “I’d also like you to get to know my kids better.”

“I’d like that too.” ________________

When they get to their hotel in the city he barely looks around the suite they have for the night before he goes into the bathroom. Emily sighs as she puts her bag down and goes to the mini bar, grabbing a drink for each of them.

She feels his arms wrap around her from behind, his chin resting on her shoulder.

“Did I ever tell you that you’re my favourite wife?”

‘I’m your only wife.” She chuckles, turning to give him his drink.

“That works out well then.” He leans down and kisses her. “Thank you for today.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” She cups his neck, and strokes her thumb over his jawline. “My place has always been by your side.” Emily kisses him quickly. “Lets go sit down.”

She leads him over to the couch in the room, leaning against him as they get comfortable. They sit in silence for a while, having their drinks whilst his fingers trail up and down her arm.

“I let him down.” Aaron says eventually, making Emily turn to look at him, a curious look on her face. “Sean. I’ve been letting him down since we were kids.”

“Honey, you know that's not true.”

“It is. I left when he was young, I left him in that house with the ghost of our father and our shell of a mother.” He says bitterly, throwing back the rest of his drink.

Emily stares at him for a second before she takes his glass out of hand and places it with hers on the table next to the couch. She settles herself over his lap, straddling him in a way that makes him raise an eyebrow and place his hands on her hips. She cups his face in both her hands.

“Listen to me, Aaron. You are not to blame for any of this. You were a kid yourself, Theo’s age, and you wanted to start your own life. You are not responsible for your parents and what they did or didn’t do. Or for the decisions that Sean has made that has led him to where he is.” She looks directly into his eyes, looking for some understanding or agreement. “Ok?”

“Ok.” He nods his agreement, and she can tell he isn’t completely convinced, but it’s enough to placate her for now.

She still wants to cheer him up, so she changes tactics, moving her hands so she’s cupping the back of his head instead before she leans down to kiss him. She presses herself closer to him, signalling her intent, she smiles against his lips when he pulls her closer, his grip on her hips tightening.

“Let's go to bed.” She says, slightly breathless as she pulls away.

“I like the way you think, Mrs Hotchner.”

[sequinsmile-x]

Fracture

Theo Hotchner breaks his arm.

A mini-fic set post ITSWM. (I know I haven’t finished posting that yet but I wrote some fluff for this universe because I needed the serotonin, and thought you might too.)

Rating: General

Words: 2.5k

It happens in slow motion. Aaron watches as Theo falls from the jungle gym, landing awkwardly on his arm as he hits the ground. There’s a beat of silence, a moment where Aaron thinks everything might be ok when runs over, and then his son starts crying hysterically as he sits up. 

When he sees Theo’s arm, bent at an unnatural angle, his first thought is that Emily was going to kill him.

____________

Emily feels her phone ring in her pocket for the second time in as many minutes and the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. She knows it’s Aaron without looking, having rejected his initial call only a minute before with the intention of calling him back the minute she was free. He never calls her at work, knowing the pressure of her job since he had once done it himself. 

He usually texts her, sends her a photo of the kids as they do something adorable or slightly mischievous. Photos of Amelia smiling widely at the camera, or Theo and Jack playing Mario Kart together, matching looks of concentration on their faces. They helped, reminding her of what was waiting for her when she got home from horrific case after horrific case, that despite everything she still had her family. 

She’d never tell Aaron that they also hurt at times. Tiny reminders of what she missed out on when she was away. 

The fact he was calling her twice in such quick succession could only mean something was wrong. 

Emily looks at the team as they deliver the profile to the local detectives. Dave catches her eye and gives her a quick nod as she lifts her phone and tilts her head down a hallway. 

She answers the phone just as it’s about to ring out. “Aaron, is everything ok?”

Aaron sighs over the phone. “It’s Theo, he’s okay I promise, but he’s broken his arm.” 

For a moment she swears her heart stops in her chest, panic seeping through her body at the thought of her precious little boy being hurt. “He’s not okay if he’s got a broken bone, Aaron.” 

“Sweetheart.” He says firmly, preventing her from spiralling any further. “He’s in a bit of pain but he’s ok. He’s just convinced me this means we get to have ice cream for dinner.” 

She barks out a laugh that catches in her throat. “That boy will do anything for ice cream.” She pauses to take a breath, her emotions still overwhelming despite Aaron’s attempts to distract her. “What happened?” 

“He fell off the jungle gym.” 

She frowns at this, indignation running through her veins. “Aaron, I-”

“Yes, I know you told me he has almost fallen off of it before. I can’t exactly tell him he can’t go on it though sweetheart.” 

She sighs, and feels the anger leave her just as quickly as it came. She looks over her shoulder when she hears the room full of local officers and detectives start to disperse. 

“Do you want to talk to him?” Aaron asks gently. 

“Yes please.” She breathes out, and waits a second as she hears Aaron talking to Theo in the background, the sound of the emergency room they were in almost drowning out their conversation. 

“Hi, Mommy.” He sniffs, sounding incredibly sorry for himself. Her chest feels tight at the sound of it, at the use of the name ‘mommy’ when her 8 year old had mostly been calling her ‘mom’ lately. 

“Hi, sweetie. How are you feeling?” 

“My arm hurts.” He grumbles. “The doctor said I could get a cast in any colour.”

“Really?” She asks, voice full of fake enthusiasm. “What colour are you going for?”

“Green.” He sniffs again, a sign that he had been crying that broke her heart. “Are you coming home?” 

Emily closes her eyes, and she blows out a breath. “I can’t, sweetie. I’m working, remember? I’m in Texas.” 

“Okay.” The disappointment in his voice is palpable, and it takes everything in her to not start crying there and then. Thoughts of how she could leave in the middle of the case, assign someone else as agent in charge and just go home and hug her son.

And maybe smack her husband for letting Theo go on the jungle gym in the first place.

“Emily.” Dave’s voice interrupts her and she turns to look at him, holding up a finger to show she just needed another minute.

“Theo, honey, I’ve got to go okay. I love you so much. I’ll call later.”

“Love you too.”

She smiles at that, as she has done every single time since he first said it. “Can you pass me back to Dad?”

There's another shuffle on the other end of the phone, a quick curse from her husband as one of them nearly drops the phone. “Sweetheart?”

“I’ve really got to go, I’m sorry.”

“Baby, we get it.” He reassures, clearly able to hear how sad she is, how torn she is over what to do. “Theo gets it too usually, you know you’re the first thing any of us wants when we’re sick or hurt.”

Emily nods despite the fact she knows he can’t see her, and she hastily wipes away the tear the movement drops onto her cheek. “I know, you Hotchner’s really can’t cope without me.” She jokes.

“We can get by until you wrap up the case.” He replies, and she can just imagine the grin on his face, the way it would bring out his dimples. “I’ll text when we’re home okay?”

“Yeah, thank you. Love you.”

“Love you too, sweetheart.” 

She hangs up the phone and turns back to Dave, who is standing behind her still, with concern all over his face. “Is everything okay at home?”

Emily sighs as she puts her phone back in her pocket and starts to walk back to the conference room, Dave keeping pace at her side. “Theo’s broken his arm, so Aaron took him to hospital.”

Despite how neutrally she tries to say it she clearly fails, Dave coming to a stop and putting a hand on her arm. “The poor kid. We can always manage here if you need to head back.” 

She frowns at him. “I can still do my job, Dave.” 

He holds his hands up in surrender. “I never said you couldn’t, Bella. I just know that you aren’t going to believe he’s fine until you see him for yourself.” 

“I appreciate your concern, but I am fine.” She practically growls at him before walking past into the conference room.

“Yeah.” Dave says to himself. “That was definitely said in a way a person who was fine would say it.”

____________

Emily was aware that she was in a foul mood, snapping at the team as they asked questions or every time they came up against a dead end. The need to get home as quickly as possible clawing at her throat. Photos that Aaron had sent her the night before of Theo with his bright green arm cast, and a bowl of ice cream in front of him only further deepening that need. 

It culminates in her shouting at Derek like she never had before, something that made him say the ‘Hotch attitude’ was finally rubbing off on her. She threatened him with victimology for the rest of his career and then stormed out, ignoring the way the locals looked at her as she did. 

She finds solace in the women’s bathroom, or at least she did right up until Dave followed her in.

“You shouldn’t be here, Dave.” She says as she briefly turns to look at him, before going back to looking at her weary face in the mirror. Sleep had not come easy for her the night before, George Foyet always making his way back into her subconscious every time someone in her family was hurt. 

“Neither should you, Emily.” He clears his throat, clearly ready for an argument. “Which is why I’ve booked you a flight home.” 

Emily turns quickly at that, stares him down. “You did what?” 

“I booked you a flight, it leaves in two hours. I’ll drive you to the airport.” 

She takes a step towards him and crosses her arms across her chest. “I can’t just leave in the middle of a case. I am the Unit Chief.” 

“And you’re a damn good one, but you’re also an excellent mother. And I know that you need to see your little boy more than he needs to see you.” 

Emily stares at him before nodding, relenting to doing exactly what she had been wanting to do in the 30 hours it had been since Aaron had called her. “You’re right. I’ll go. But I expect updates about what's going on here.”

“As you wish.” He stands out of her way so she can get past him and leave the bathroom. “The ticket is first class by the way, so drink some free champagne and do everyone a favour and chill out.” 

Emily grimaces as they walk back towards the conference room. “Have I really been that bad?” 

“You owe everyone at least one drink. I think you owe Derek a month off of paperwork.”

“He wishes.” Emily scoffs.

____________

Aaron watches in amusement as Amelia climbs onto the couch next to Theo and starts to, not very gently, stroke his hair. It’s what Emily did for all of them, Aaron included, when they were sick or hurt and Theo lets his sister do it, despite it clearly being the last thing he wanted. Watching his two year old daughter mirror her mother made his heart constrict, and he wished more than ever that his wife was here. 

His phone rings and he grabs it, smiling as he sees Emily’s name and picture on the screen. “Hey, how are things?” 

“I’m on a plane.” She replies, a small laugh in her voice. “Dave bought me a ticket and drove me to the airport. Took me as far as security would let him to make sure I got onboard.” 

Aaron couldn’t pretend he was anything other than relieved. He’d noticed the tension in his wife during the brief phone calls and text exchanges about their son’s injury. Not to mention Theo was miserable, barely putting up with his little sister's antics anymore, and getting crankier by the second. 

“What time do you get in?”

“Too late for you to even think about picking me up, I’ll get a cab home.” 

He wants to argue, to go get her and tell her everything is fine, but he knows that's not what she needs him to do. She would want him here, in their home, with their kids. “Okay, just text me when you land.”

“I will. Love you.”

“You too.” He says as he hangs up. 

“Everything okay, Dad?” Jack’s voice comes from behind him. 

Aaron turns to look at his 17 year old son. “Yeah, Emily is on her way.” 

Jack smiles at him, the same smile he inherited from Haley. “Uncle Dave sent her home?” Jack laughs at Aaron’s nod. “That’s a whole day sooner than you said it would happen.” 

Aaron laughs. “She must have been in a really bad mood.”

____________

When Emily gets home it’s already well past Theo’s bedtime. As soon as she is in the house she sneaks into his bedroom and her chest tightens at the sight of his bright green cast laid on a pillow next to him. Archie held tightly under Theo’s good arm. She walks over to his bed and presses a kiss to his forehead, whispering apologies for not being home earlier into his hairline. 

Amelia is also asleep. Emily sits down on the edge of her bed and tucks her in a little bit tighter and runs her fingers through her daughter's increasingly unruly hair.

Jack was still up, playing video games online with his friends. She pops her head in his room and quietly says hi, aware she had accidentally embarrassed him in the past. He throws her a grateful smile and a wave and she closes the door behind her. 

When she gets to her own room Aaron is sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for her, and immediately stands as she closes the door behind her. She’s in his arms before she can really register it, and the lump that had sat in her throat since Aaron called her about Theo dissipates almost immediately. 

Emily wraps her arms tightly around him, and presses her face into his soft t-shirt. “Hey.”

Aaron presses a kiss to the top of her head and rubs a hand up and down her back. “Hey sweetheart.”

He encourages her to get ready for bed, and joins her. Their nighttime routines are easily done around each other, years of practise behind them. Once they settle into bed he immediately pulls her into his arms and rests her on his chest. 

“You ok?” He asks gently, fingers running up and down her arm.

“Yes.” She swallows against the word, and it tasted like a lie. “No. I just feel like a bad mom.” She admits into his chest, the fear that had been circling around in her head for longer than the last couple of days bursting out of her. “I know I’m not.” She says as she feels him take in a breath to admonish her, and she rubs the tension from his chest with the palm of her hand. “Being their mom is my favourite thing, but when I can’t be here when my son hurts himself...it really sucks.”

Aaron hears the way her voice cracks, and the way her body shudders when she tries to hold back the tears he had no doubt she had been putting off since he called her to tell her about Theo’s accident. 

“You’re okay, Em. And so is he.” Aaron kisses the top of her head. “He’ll be so happy when he wakes up to see you tomorrow, and I’ll go back to being second favourite even though I gave him ice-cream two days in a row.” 

She pushes herself up by the hand on his chest, her tearstained face coming into view. “Two days in a row?”

____________

Theo is delighted to see her the next morning, all but forgetting about his broken arm as he launches himself at her. He begs her to sign his cast, to draw a picture on it for him, and she smiles when she sees the scribbles on it clearly left by Aaron helping Amelia hold the pen.

When her daughter realises she is home she squeals and demands to be held by her mother for hours. 

They watch a movie together, all of them piling into the living room. Theo chooses the movie, Monsters Inc, and Aaron levels a glare at Jack when he opens his mouth to complain. 

“Breaking your arm is fun.” Theo exclaims as he sits in between his parents, ready to watch his favourite movie. 

Aaron and Emily exchange a look over the top of their son’s head and they both suppress a laugh.

They were all going to be fine.

[sequinsmile-x]

Day-to-Day

Part of the Whatever Tomorrow Brings series 

Chapter 3: Jack 

Word count: 4.2k 

Read over on a03, or below the cut: 

Let me know what you think :) 

November 2002

Emily thought she knew what exhaustion was, thought that the long days and short nights at the BAU had taught her how to function on small bursts of sleep.

Then she had a baby.

Her body was running on fumes. The 36 hours she had spent in labour with Theo had left her shattered, and in the three weeks since her baby was first placed on her chest she didn’t think she had slept more than 90 minutes at a time.

She groans as Theo cries out from the bassinet sitting up on the edge of the bed and reaching out for him before he could wake Aaron up. It was his first day back at work in the morning after his paternity leave and she wanted him to get as much sleep as possible

“Ok, sweet boy.” She says, lifting the baby into her arms and settling back into bed, she one handedly shrugs off her pyjama shirt and undoes her maternity bra so she can feed her son.

She rests her head against the headboard and closes her eyes, knowing it was only a few short hours until the day would begin. ______________

Aaron wakes to find his wife sat up, her eyes closed as she leant against the headboard, Theo fast asleep on her chest. She was wearing her maternity bra and her sweatpants, clearly having given up on a shirt at some point in the night. She had one hand cupped under the baby’s bottom, the other hand moving up and down his back. The movement was the only sign that she was awake.

“Your son hates sleep.” She murmurs, opening her eyes to look down at Theo. “Well, apparently he hates me sleeping.”

Aaron sits up next to her and kisses her bare shoulder and cups the back of Theo’s head. “You should have woken me up.”

She smiles at him, exhaustion clear across her face. “You have work, it didn’t make sense for both of us to be up.”

“Can I help at all?”

“Can you take Jack to school?” She asks, looking back down at Theo. “Now he’s sleeping I might try and have a nap.”

“Of course.” ______________

She’s late picking up Jack from school. Theo had slept in the afternoon, and so had she, and the next thing she knew she should have already been out of the house. She gets there as soon as she can, Theo screaming in the back seat and her nerves very much on edge.

“Ok, baby. Please stop crying.” She practically begs as the car pulls up to the school drop off, Jack stood there with his teacher. She steps out the car, and opens the door for Jack to get in. He gets in, not even looking at Emily as he clicks his seatbelt into place. Pulling the door shut, muting the sound of Theo’s crying. Emily turns to Jack’s teacher, sees the sympathetic look on her face.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t worry, Mrs Hotchner. I’ve been there myself.”

Emily smiles and nods at her as she gets back in the car. She sees Jack in the rearview mirror, the upset on his face clear as his younger brother continues to cry.

“I’m sorry, Jack.”

He doesn’t respond. _______________

Aaron gets held up at work on his first day back, leaving Emily to sort dinner for a still grumpy Jack as she tries to soothe Theo. She ends up with Theo in a baby wrap, content to sleep against her as she cleans away dishes from the, very mediocre, mac and cheese she had made.

Jack is still sulking when she walks back into the living room, his eyes fixed on the tv screen as he ignores her.

“Jack, sweetie, that's enough cartoons for tonight.” She says gently, feeling like she was treading on eggshells. He made no move to turn the tv off, the usually very reasonable 9 year old ignoring her. Emily sighs, one of her hands on Theo’s back, as she walks further into the living room, turning off the tv herself.

He finally turns to look at her, his eyebrows furrowed in a way that reminded her of Aaron. “I was watching that.”

She raises her eyebrows at his tone. “Jack.” She says calmly. “Please don’t speak to me like that.”

Jack rolls his eyes at her and stands, walking past her. “Whatever, Emily.”

“Jack.” She says firmer this time. “I know you’re upset, but you have to be respectful, ok?”

“You’re not my mom.” He replies. “You can’t tell me what to do.”

Emily feels like the wind has been knocked out of her, exhaustion and everything that being a mother to a newborn makes her react in a way it usually wouldn’t. “Go to your room.”

“I hate you.” He says as he stomps up the stairs, slamming the door to his bedroom loud enough to wake Theo.

Emily shakes her head, tears pooling in her eyes as she tries to soothe the baby. ______________

When Aaron gets home he finds his wife crying on the couch, Theo in her arms and the baby wrap abandoned next to her.

“Sweetheart.” He immediately puts his briefcase down and sits next to her, gathering her into his arms. “What’s wrong?”

“I suck at this.”

He cups the back of her head, pulls her face from his neck so he can look at her. “You suck at what?”

“Being a mom.”

It takes him a second to react, her words surprising him. “Em, you’re the best mom.” He says firmly, not even entertaining her comments for a second. “What happened?”

“I was late picking up Jack from school.” She says, shifting a, miraculously, sleeping Theo to rest his head on her shoulder. “I overslept and he was so mad.” She shakes her head at herself. “And he was grumpy all evening, and told me I wasn’t his mom. I overreacted and sent him to his room.” She clears her throat. “He told me he hated me.”

He sighs and cups her cheek and kisses her forehead. “That doesn’t make you a bad mom, baby. You’re exhausted. And Jack is adjusting. He’s gone from being just with Haley, to losing her, to living with us and becoming a big brother all within just under 10 months. That’s a lot for anyone, let alone a 9 year old.”

Emily nods. “You’re right.”

“And he doesn’t hate you. Far from it. He’s just not used to sharing you. Sibling jealousy is completely normal, even when you don’t include the rest of it.” He kisses her forehead. “Want me to talk to him?”

She shakes her head. “No, I’ll do it.” __________

She gently knocks on Jack’s door an hour later. The baby settled and Aaron with him.

“Jack, it’s Emily.”

There's a pause, and for a moment she thinks he’s fallen asleep. “Come in.”

Emily walks in and smiles at him. He was sat in his bed, his favourite toy tucked under his arm. “Hi, sweetie.”

“Hi.”

She closes the door behind her and sits on the edge of his bed. “Should we talk about earlier?”

He looks away from her, sniffs as he looks down at his bedsheets. “I’m sorry.”

She places her hand under his chin and makes him look up at her. “I am sorry too, I think we were both a bit sad and said things we shouldn’t have.”

Jack nods and suddenly moves towards her, hugging her. She wraps her arms around him too and kisses his hair. “I’m sorry, Emily. I don’t hate you.”

“I know you don’t, sweetheat.” She kisses his hair again, her hand running up and down his back. “I’ve had an idea.” He removes himself from her grasp, his head tilted in curiosity at her.

“What idea?”

“How about on Saturday, dad stays home with Theo for an hour or so and you and I go get breakfast at the usual place?”

“Just the two of us?” He asks, the hope on his face making her chest swell.

“Just the two of us.” She confirms, ruffling his hair. “What do you think?”

His smile is the only answer she needs. ______________

August 2012

It’s when Sara asks him about the picture that he keeps in his dorm room that Jack really, truly, thinks about it for the first time.

It’s a picture taken at his high school graduation. Emily on one side of him, Amelia on her hip, his dad on the other with Theo in front of him. All of them have wide smiles on their faces. The trauma they had been through less than a year before, and still lived with, not present in the happy family photo.

Sara smiles when she sees it and picks it up off of his desk. “Wow, is that your mom? She’s so pretty.”

Jack finds himself almost unable to answer for a moment, unsure how to explain his family dynamic to his new girlfriend. That he had only met his dad when his mom was dying. That a bigger part of him than he would admit had spent the last decade of his life watching Emily with Theo and now Amelia wishing that she was his mom too.

“Yeah.” He says before he can think about it. “Well, technically no.” He corrects, shaking his head at himself, immediate guilt for discounting Haley. Sarah frowns at him and puts the photo back down. Jack sighs, running his hand through his hair. “My mom died when I was 9. Emily is my stepmom, she’s raised me since then.”

Sara smiles at him and reaches for his hand. “Did I ever tell you my dad is technically my stepdad?”

Jack shakes his head at that, the new information about his girlfriend sinking in.

“Well.” She continues. “He married my mom when I was 12, but he’s always been there since then. He’s my dad.” She pauses as if she’s considering if it’s her place to continue, but after a moment she does, a kind smile on her face. “It’s ok if you consider Emily as your mom, you know? I’m sure your mom wouldn’t mind.”

That night he lies in bed and looks at the picture, thinks of how Emily had been there through everything since they’d met. How far they had come since she was teaching him Spanish to distract him from an argument between his parents. How far she had gone to protect him and his siblings when they were separated from his dad, sacrificing her own happiness for them. How fiercely she loved him, the way he knew she would go to war with anyone who hurt him.

She was his mom. ______________

November 2012

Jack gets more and more nervous as they approach Arlington. Sara was coming to meet his family for the first time, for Thanksgiving break of all things. He’d felt confident when he had first suggested it, wanting his girlfriend to know that part of his life.

Now he was more unsure than ever.

“I wish you’d calm down.” Sara says, rolling her eyes at him from where she was sat in the passenger seat. “Isn’t it me that’s meant to be nervous?”

“I know, it’s just...they are really intense.”

Sara stares at him for a second before sighing. “Ok fine, do you want to go over it all again?” She suppresses a smile when he looks almost relieved at her suggestion. “Go ahead.”

“Don’t be surprised if you hear more than one language being spoken.” Jack says as they pull off the freeway. “And, despite how much she might end up talking about her job, please don’t let Mom scare you.” ______________

Emily smiles as she opens the front door to Jack and Sara, beckoning them in from the cold. She immediately pulls Jack into a hug, which he gladly returns.

“Jack, I missed you.” She pulls back to look at him, to try and see if he had somehow changed in the few months it had been since he had last been home. “Your dad will be glad to see you, he’s been talking about this all week.”

Jack smiles at her. “It’s nice to be home.” He clears his throat as he pulls away and grabs his girlfriend's hand. “This is Sara.” He turns to Sara and smiles at her before turning back to Emily. “Sara, this is my mom - Emily.”

Emily swears her brain short wires for a second. Jack had never called her mom before, exclusively calling her by her first name the entirety of their relationship. She doesn’t have time to react before Sara smiles.

“Nice to meet you, Emily.”

She recovers in a second, pushing the emotions down until she has time to process them later. “Lovely to meet you too.”

They all turn to the sound of small feet hitting the hardwood floors, Amelia careening into the back of her mothers legs. She wraps her arms around Emily’s leg, shyly peering out from behind her. Emily smiles, grateful for the distraction, as she bends down and picks her up, settling the 3 year old on her hip.

“Amelia, this is Sara.” She says pointing at her, a smile on her face. “She’s Jack’s girlfriend.” Amelia proceeds to bury her face into Emily’s neck, making her smile and kiss the side of her daughter's head. “Sorry, she can be a bit shy around new people.”

Jack leans forward to try and catch Amelia’s eyeline. “Millie, can I have a hug?”

Amelia turns her face to look at Jack, her hand playing with Emily’s hair, before she smiles at her brother and leans towards him, smiling as he scoops her into his arms.

Emily smiles as she watches her youngest and her eldest together, Amelia giggling as Jack tickles her, brings her out of her shell so he can introduce her to Sara properly. Theo bounds down the stairs to see his brother, the way he had missed him was clear for everyone to see.

She feels the emotion flare in her chest again, the memory of how it sounded when he called her mom flooding through her. ______________

Aaron walks into his bedroom, a small sigh as he runs his hands through his hair, Amelia’s demands for Emily to come read her a story making settling her down for the night. He hears water running in the ensuite and heads towards it.

“Sweetheart? Apparently I won’t do for storytime tonight.” He walks into the bathroom. “You do the voices better…” He trails off when his eyes land on his wife, the way she quickly wipes her face to get rid of the tears she is clearly trying to hide from him. “Em, baby? What’s wrong?”

He places his hand on her cheek and the dam breaks, tears streaming down her face. He pulls his wife into a hug, feels the way she grasps the back of his polo shirt, her fingers digging into the material.

“It’s stupid.” She sniffs into his shirt.

“You’re never stupid.” He says, his hand running up and down her back. He pulls back enough to cup her cheek, wiping away the tears.

“Jack called me mom, Aaron.” She says, sniffing as more tears fall down her cheeks. “He’s never done that before.”

Aaron smiles at her. It hadn’t escaped him that his son had been calling her that all night, as if he had been for years. He’d noticed Emily’s momentary reaction every time, the way she froze slightly before suppressing a smile.

“You are his mom, Em. You and Haley both are. Despite the circumstances, he’s been lucky enough to have both of you.”

She smiles at him, laughing at herself as she wipes tears away from her face. “I know, and I’ve always been happy for him to call me whatever he wants to.” She shakes her head as more tears start to fall. “I just don’t think I realised how much it would mean to me.”

Aaron leans forward and kisses her forehead. “Love you.”

“You too.” She hugs him close, letting him hold her tightly. “What were you saying about storytime?”

Aaron chuckles before pulling back to look at her. “According to our daughter I can’t do the voices like you can.”

Emily laughs. “I should probably go read to her then.”

“Why don’t you get into bed? I’ll bring her in here.”

“If we do that she’ll fall asleep with us, we’ll never get her back to her own room.” She raises an eyebrow at him, he’d always been the firmest in keeping their children in their own beds.

“We can break the rules just this once.”

She is just settling into bed when Aaron walks back in, a sleepy looking Amelia perched on his hip, her storybook in her hand.

“Hi sweet girl.” Emily says as Aaron places Amelia on the bed, the toddler immediately crawling under the covers and curling up against her mother.

Amelia tilts her head at Emily and places her hand on her cheek, clearly taking in her blotchy skin and red eyes. “Mama sad?”

“Oh, no sweetie. Mama is ok.” She kisses the side of Amelia’s head and takes the book out of her hand, smiling as she realises it was Goodnight Moon, the same book she had read to her daughter every night so far that week.

Aaron climbs into bed next to them, wrapping an arm around both of them as Emily opens the book, pleased to have both of his girls in his arms.

______________

June 2018

“Mom?”

Emily turns around in her kitchen, a cup of tea in hand, and smiles when she sees Jack standing behind her.

“Jack! Hi.” She rounds the kitchen counter to hug him. “What are you doing here?”

He hugs her back. “I had no more classes today, thought I’d pop by before Sara was done.” They had moved back to the DC area after college, both of them going to medical school at Georgetown. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

She looks at him curiously. “Of course. Shall we go sit down?”

They settle in the living room, Jack suddenly seeming nervous as he clears his throat and pulls a small box out of his jeans pocket, passing it over to Emily. She opens it and her eyes widen at the ring inside.

“It’s beautiful Jack.” She smiles at him. “I am already married though.”

“Mom.” He says, unamused at her attempt at humour.

“Sorry.” She bites her lip to stop herself from smiling. “So you’re going to propose to Sara. How are you going to do it?”

“I don’t know, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. How did Dad propose to you?”

Emily smiles at the memory. “I’d actually just had my tonsils removed and he was looking after me. I woke up from a nap and he just asked me.” She laughs. “Actually it’s more like he told me. He just said ‘marry me.’” Emily realises that hasn’t helped at all. “Jack, you’ve just got to do what’s right for you and Sara. You’ll think of something.”

“Dad thinks I’m too young.”

Emily rolls her eyes. “I think what your dad is forgetting is that I was your age when we got married.”

“What was it like when you planned your wedding?” Jack asks, the idea of planning his own stressing him out even before he proposed. Emily smiles at that, his confidence in the fact Sara would say yes.

Emily knew she would too.

“Oh I had very little to do with it. I just let my mother get on with it. The only things I picked were your dad and my dress, and let me tell you she had something to say about both those choices.” She smiles at Jack, a slight look of mischief on her face. “I’m sure if we called her she’d be happy to help.”

Jack pales slightly at the mention of Elizabeth’s involvement. “Oh god, no.” ______________

May 2019

Emily finds him exactly where she expected to. She smiles reassuringly at him when he turns around to look at her, before turning back to look at Haley’s grave.

It was a tradition of sorts. Jack came here whenever he had a big life event, anytime it was an important day. His high school graduation, as soon as he could after his college graduation. The day he finished med school.

“I thought I’d find you here.” She says as she reaches him, standing next to him. “Are you ok?”

“Yes.” He answers quickly, before turning to look at her, smiling sadly as she quirks an eyebrow at him. “No. I feel guilty.” Jack says, looking back at the granite headstone in front of him, purposely not looking at Emily.

She furrows her brow. “Guilty about what?”

“That I don’t immediately miss my mom in moments like this. It’s the biggest day of my life and part of me feels like I’ve come here out of obligation.” He admits. “She’s been gone so much longer than I had her, and sometimes I forget you aren’t my biological mom.” He sniffs, his jaw tightening as he tries to hold back his emotions. “And then I remember and I feel awful.”

Emily had spent the entire time she had known Jack wishing she could take his pain, his grief, away. Grief Emily had got a taste of only the year before when she lost her father. He had lost his mother at such a young age, and hadn’t known his father for the first several years of his life. He still had so many unanswered questions, things Haley had never had the chance to fully explain to him.

“Sweetheart.” She says, placing her arm around him and putting her hand on his shoulder. “She wouldn’t want you to feel like this. She loved you so much.”

He nods, wrapping his arm around her. “Is everyone worried?”

“Sara doesn’t think you’ve left her at the altar if that’s what you mean.” Emily says, a wry smile on her face. “But we should get going.” ______________

Emily smiles as she dances with Jack, Sara and her father dancing alongside them.

“Thanks for today.” Jack says, a smile on his face as he looks at her.

“No need to thank me, Jack.”

He hums in his throat in disbelief. “I have a lot to thank you for really.”

“Jack-”

“We’ve never really talked about it.” He says, the song they were dancing to fading into the background. “The older I’ve got the more I’ve realised how hard it must have been for you at the start, but you’ve never said anything. Never really made me feel any different.”

Emily smiles at him, emotion welling in her chest. “Jack, of course I didn’t. You were a kid. You’re my kid.”

He stops the dance, the music coming to an end anyway. “I love you, Mom.”

“I love you too, Jack.”

“Can I cut in?”

They both turn to see Aaron standing there, smiling at both of them. Jack steps back, indicating his father can step in to dance with Emily.

“I should go see my wife.” Jack says as he steps away.

Aaron smiles at Emily as he pulls her to him, one arm banding around her back, the other grasping her hand in his. “I remember dancing at our wedding.”

Emily laughs. “That was so long ago now.”

“We’re getting old, Mrs Hotchner.”

She makes an outraged noise, uses the hand on his shoulder to smack him lightly. “Speak for yourself, Mr Hotchner.” ______________

Emily kisses the side of Amelia’s head, her daughter fast asleep on her lap, the excitement of the day too much for the 10 year old, the evening now passin into the early hours of the following morning. She laughs when she sees Theo dragging Elizabeth up to dance, always able to convince his grandmother to do anything.

“Hi sweetheart.” Aaron says as he drags a chair next to her and sits down, throwing his arm across the back of her chair. “Is she ok?” He asks, smiling at Amelia, her head pressed against Emily’s shoulder, her mouth hanging open slightly as she sleeps.

“She’s fine, she’s just tired.”

He kisses his wife's temple. “It has been a long day.” He looks over to Theo and Elizabeth and back to his wife, not missing the sad smile on her face. “Are you ok?”

Emily looks at him. “Yeah. I just wish Dad could be here, that’s all.” She sighs, the thought of John’s death only the year before still felt sharp to her at times. The feeling she had when she got the call was still fresh, as if it had happened only yesterday.

“I know you do, baby. I do too.” He kisses her temple again, trying to press all of his love and support into her skin

“He really loved Jack.”

Aaron smiles at that, memories of Jack trying to teach John how to play video games. The way he had instantly had the older man wrapped around his finger as soon as they had met.

“The feeling was mutual.”

They sit there and watch their eldest dance with his new wife, the promise of a new beginning hanging in the air.

[sequinsmile-x]

Day-to-Day

Chapter 4: Aaron

Coming soon

Teaser below the cut

She turns to Aaron, his silence throughout her exchange with Amelia, the lack of quips about how similar they were, now only striking her as odd as she takes in the look on his face. His gaze fixed in the distance, not focused on anything in particular. She frowns and takes a step closer to him, placing her hand over his on the counter. “Honey, are you ok?” 

He looks at her, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Sean called me.”

Emily doesn’t cover her shock, her hand tightening over his. It had been years since they had heard from Sean. The supposed truce the brothers had come to in New York, where a rare family vacation had turned into a case, had fallen apart as soon as Sean was formally sentenced. 

Aaron had tried reaching out at the beginning, attempting to visit his brother, but it had always been radio silence on the other side. Over time he stopped trying. His attempts at calling Sean got further apart. His requests to go see him stopped. To anyone else it would look like Aaron had accepted it, that he simply was no longer going to be a part of his brother's life. Emily knew better than that.

“What?” 

“He called from prison. He wants me to go see him.” 

[sequinsmile-x]

If Tomorrow Starts Without Me - Chapter 8

Rating: Mature

Words: 7,271

Trigger warning: descriptions of canon typical violence 

Either read over on ao3, or below the cut!

Let me know what you think :) 

August 1998

“Fifth times the charm.” Emily mumbles under her breath as they are let into the house by the real estate agent. She smiles when she feels Aaron squeeze her hand tighter, a silent request that she behave herself.

“What was that Mrs Hotchner?” The overly cheery estate agent asks.

“Oh, it’s very charming.” Emily answers, completely straight faced. The other woman seems to accept her answer and walks further into the living room.

“Good save.” Aaron whispers into his wife's ear, and she shushes him, hitting him lightly in the chest.

“I’ll give you two a chance to have a wander round yourself. If you have any questions I’m here.”

The house is perfect, something neither of them had been expecting given the disasters the past few viewings had been. They walk around upstairs, the master bedroom stealing both of their hearts almost instantly, and the room just down the hall that screamed it would be a perfect nursery making both of them smile.

“How long did you say you two had been married again?”

The real estate agent makes them both jump, and they turn to look at her, her fond smile fixed on their joint hands.

“Two years.” Aaron answers, unable to stop the way he smiled as he looked at his wife. There were days when he still couldn’t figure out how he had gotten so lucky, or why Emily had picked him to spend her life with. Sometimes he asked her, when they were laid in bed together, twisted in their sheets. His curiosity getting the better of him as he took in the incredible woman he got to call his wife.

Emily never answered him, not with what he was looking for anyway. She never gave a reason solid enough for his liking. Just a roll of her eyes, occasionally joined by the pinching of whatever skin her fingers were closest to. Then she’d mutter that she was the lucky one.

“Well, this would make the perfect nursery.” The real estate agent says, a wry smile on her face. “Are you two planning on any additions to the family?”

Emily would usually put on her political smile at such a personal question, and provide some kind of half answer to the woman who was selling them a house. But she can’t, her happiness overwhelming any usual need to play her cards close to her chest.

She looks up at her husband and smiles at him. “Yes, we are.”

They sign the deeds the next day. _________________

April 2000

Aaron finds her sat in the middle of the room they had intended to be a nursery. She’s sitting with her knees drawn up to her chest, an old shirt of his stretched over them as she wraps her arms around herself.

He silently sits next to her, the words from the doctor they had seen that day still reverberating around his head. The apology that told them everything they had needed to know. Everything that, on some level, they already knew.

It had taken him quite some time to get her home, her devastation in the parking lot outside the fertility clinic so raw he practically had to carry her back to their car. He had convinced her to shower when they got back, giving her the time alone he knew she craved.

Emily leans into him and presses her wet face into his shoulder. Aaron wraps her arms around her, pulling her into his arms.

“I knew something was wrong.” She murmurs into his shirt. “I knew it.” The tears start afresh, not that they had ever really stopped, and he rocks her gently.

Aaron shushes her, rubbing a hand up and down her back, pointless words of reassurance whispered into her hair. _________________

October 2002

“Ok, we’re here.” Aaron says as he pulls the car into their driveway, immediately turning around once it was parked, his seemingly ever-present smile widening at the sight of his wife and his newborn son in the backseat.

Emily smiles at Theo, gently touching his cheek. “Did you hear that, baby? We’re home.” She looks up at Aaron. “Would you mind getting him?”

“Of course not.” He gets out the car and gets to work on getting Theo’s carseat out of the back. By the time he is done Emily is still half sat in the car. “You ok, sweetheart? Do you need help?”

“No.” She grits out, wincing as she makes the final move to get out of the car. He’s by her side in an instant, one hand on her lower back and the other still holding the handle of the car seat. She rolls her eyes at him. “Aaron, my love, our very adorable son just took the best part of two days leaving my body very slowly. I’m going to be sore for a while.” She places a hand on his cheek and smiles at him. “Time is really going to drag if you react like that everytime I wince.”

Aaron opens his mouth to argue, but when she raises an eyebrow at him again he concedes, but keeps his hand on her lower back as he leads them into the house.

Emily makes a beeline for the couch, settling down into it’s cushions almost immediately. Her entire body hurt, and she didn’t think she had ever been this exhausted, but she was so happy she could burst.

She looks over to where her husband was standing, now holding Theo in his arms. “Aaron, bring me my baby.”

He walks over to her and sits next to her, gently handing their son over, before maneuvering her so their shoulders overlap, both of them looking down at Theo as he fights sleep.

“Is Jack staying at Jessica’s tonight?” She asks gently, eyes not moving from the baby.

“Yeah, she said she’ll bring him back tomorrow. Apparently he’s excited for more time with Theo.” Aaron answers, kissing her temple.

“That’s sweet.” She traces a finger over her son’s soft cheek, smiling as it twitches slightly in his sleep. Aaron shifts behind her, and it jolts her, making her wince as pain radiates through her body. She hears his sharp intake of breath, the way he opens his mouth to apologise. She removes the hand she’s had under Theo to cover her husband's mouth. “Don’t even think about it.” _________________

October 2003

Emily feels a tiny hand tugging at her shirt and readjusts Theo on her hip. She mindlessly presses a kiss to his head as she loads the washing machine. It never failed to amaze her how much laundry her one year old son could create.

Theo rests his head on her shoulder, the sleepiness he had been fighting in his refusal to go down for a nap finally winning out. “Mama.”

Her gaze snaps to him the second she hears his little voice, and he’s looking at her through tired eyes. “What did you just say?”

“Mama.” He repeats, as if he has said it a thousand times, as he buries his head further into her.

“Oh.” She abandons the laundry and wraps both arms around her son, pulling him tightly into her as she presses a kiss to his forehead. “You’ve never said that before.”

“Sweetheart, I just came to check you haven’t fallen in.” Aaron’s voice floats into the room, but his teasing tone fades when she turns and he sees the tears in her eyes. “Em, what’s wrong? What happened?”

She shakes her head, laughing at herself for the tears she cannot stop from coming. “Nothing’s wrong.” She clears her throat and bounces Theo on her hips slightly, getting his attention. “You going to show Daddy your new trick, huh?” Theo smiles up at her, his toothy grin as infectious as it was the first time he had done it. “Who’s this?” She points at herself and waits a beat, hoping he does it again.

“Mama.”

Aaron looks as delighted as she feels and pulls them both into a hug, kissing the top of Theo’s head before pressing a kiss to her lips.

When he pulls back she doesn’t miss the way his eyes are shining too. _________________

May 2004

He finds her standing watching the boys, hanging back from the entryway to the den so neither of them spot her. He walks up behind her, wraps his arm around her waist and she easily settles into him, resting her weight partially on him. He presses a kiss to her temple and looks over to where Jack and Theo are playing to see what she has been watching.

Jack was playing a video game, a racing one he was obsessed with. Theo was sitting next to him, the 18 month old holding a controller Aaron knew wasn’t plugged in, copying his brother intently like he had started doing lately, smashing buttons on a controller as if he knew what he was doing and was about to win the race.

The sight made him smile. The age difference between the two of them meant things were tricky sometimes, Theo was too young to really join in on anything that interested Jack, but they adored each other.

“He’s a good big brother.” Emily says, the sadness in her voice undeniable, and he knows she is thinking about the negative pregnancy tests in the trash in their ensuite bathroom. A failed round of IVF making the devastation on her face from years ago make it’s return, something he wishes he could fix for her but knows he never can.

“Come on, let's go sit.” He kisses her temple and slowly drags her out of the den, letting her give the boys one more fleeting look. He guides her to the living room, settles them both on the couch. “What are you thinking?”

She laughs, but it comes out more like a sob. “That I hate my stupid body.”

“Em.” He chastises, grabbing her hand and squeezing it. It was something she had said many times over the years. Throughout their attempts to have a baby, through the first failed attempt at IVF before Theo. Even in those last weeks of her pregnancy when Theo all but refused to be born. It always had the same result, him gently telling her off for speaking about herself that way. Reminding her she was more than her ability to have children. There were days when it didn’t help, and he knew this would be one of them.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore, Aaron.” She wipes a tear from her face only for it to be immediately replaced. “It’s too much. I can’t keep doing this.”

He pulls her into a hug and she gladly accepts it, grasping the back of his sweater tightly in her hands. He doesn’t know what to say, how to help her. “Whatever you want, sweetheart.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t give you more.”

He pulls back from her, moves his hands so they are cupping her cheeks. “Emily, I need you to listen to me ok?” She nods in response, tears falling as she does. “You have given me everything and more. If we had spent our whole lives just the two of us in this house that would have been all I needed, because I would have had you.” He runs his thumbs over her cheeks. “We have two amazing kids down the hall, and you’re an amazing mother to them. Watching you with them is a privilege, sweetheart. I hope you know that.”

She nods again, although he can tell she doesn’t quite believe him. He draws her back into his embrace and rocks her slightly as she cries it out, mourns a future she can no longer see.

He closes his eyes as he rests his cheek against the top of her head, images of a little girl with her eyes and attitude haunting him in a way he hadn’t expected. _________________

Aaron calls Sam’s phone. If Foyet had taken Sam’s car, he would have grabbed his cell too. He’d want Aaron to contact him, to be a part of this.

The phone is answered within seconds.

“Agent Smith.” Foyet’s voice comes through the phone. It’s a sound that has haunted Aaron for months. Blurred the lines between consciousness and his nightmares. Ever present like a ghost he just can’t shift.

“Foyet. You don’t have to involve them. This is between us.”

“Terrible news about the Hotchners wasn’t it.” Foyet says, and Aaron can hear the mocking in his voice. “Their poor children. I have them with me now. The youngest is so small. She won’t remember either of them.”

Aaron closes his eyes as Foyet ignores him, and doesn't acknowledge what he is saying. He can hear they are in a car, but he’s not on speaker. Foyet was still living out his fantasy, not wanting Jack to understand the truth yet, wanting to draw this out for Aaron as long as possible. “If you lay a hand on any of them, if anything happens to my children, I will destroy you.”

“Yeah, we are just arriving now. Jack, do you still have the keys for the gate?” There is a pause, he can’t hear the conversation in the car until Foyet turns his attention back to him. “Got to go now. I’ll check in later.”

The line goes dead. Aaron hits the table in frustration, a growl leaving his throat that doesn’t sound human. He places his palms firmly on the table, trying to ground himself as he lowers his head, not looking at the team.

The conference room is silent for a moment, the conversation between Aaron and Foyet laying heavily in the air.

“Why would Jack have keys for wherever they are?” JJ asks finally, swallowing against the lump in her throat.

Aaron looks up at her, the question triggering something in his brain. “He’s taken them to the house.” _________________

He sighs as Penelope confirms that Emily is no longer on the line, and all Aaron can do is hope that his wife forgives him for this, for whatever comes next.

“Dad?” Jack’s desperate voice comes through the phone. “What should I do? How...how do I fix this?”

“Jack.” Aaron says firmly. “I will be there soon. Where is Amelia?”

Jack blows out a breath, his panic evident. “Upstairs, sleeping.”

He sighs in relief. He’s close to their house, only a couple of streets away and he just needs to distract Foyet long enough so he can get there. “Good. That’s good. Tell Theo to go upstairs.”

Aaron knows that if it was different, if it was Emily that Foyet had managed to lure to the house he’d kill her now. Not give him the chance to save her, make their last interaction after all their time together be over a phone as people listened in. With the children, Foyet would want to make him feel like he had a chance, like he could have saved them. His final torment.

He would want to kill them with Aaron in the house. _________________

He doesn’t remember turning the ignition off in the car. He jumps out with his gun in hand as quickly as he can manage, not even closing the car door behind him. The front door is slightly open and he bursts in, the first thing he sees was Jack sitting on the couch, staring straight ahead, eyes purposely not focused on Foyet.

Jack looks at Aaron, relief flooding his face at the sight of his father. “Dad.”

“Well, isn't this touching?” Foyet sneers, taking a step closer to Jack. Aaron turns his focus to Foyet, training his gun on the man.

“Jack.” Aaron doesn’t stop looking at Foyet, his eyes and his gun firmly directed at him. “Go upstairs.”

“Dad-”

“Jack. Upstairs now.”

He takes his eyes off Foyet for a second when he hears Jack reach the top of the stairs, and that's when he takes his chance. Aaron’s gun is knocked out of his hands before he knows what's happened, a punch to his face briefly stunning him.

Aaron sees Foyet bolt for the stairs, his speed surprising. Aaron catches him as he gets to the top, smashing the other man's head into a framed piece of art on the wall before he can make it into Jack’s room. They struggle, both falling down the stairs in a heap. Aaron feels his head collide with the bottom step, and his ribs aching with the force of the fall.

They separate, meeting in the entrance of the dining room, circling each other like predators. Aaron can feel the red mist descending. He’s known from the beginning, the moment he saw Foyet reflected in a picture of Emily’s smile, that this was only ever going to end one way. With one of them dead.

He hears a noise upstairs. A bang and then the scuttling of feet, too small to be Jack. Meaning Theo was running around up there.

“Maybe I’ll let your precious Emily live.” Foyet taunts him, pulling a knife out of his pocket and flicking out the blade. “I’ll let her come back here to find you and your sons dead. She can raise your daughter who will have no memory of you except for the fact you failed. And your wife would hate you for it, for not protecting the family she always wanted.”

Aaron snaps. Months of torment, of letting his life be dominated by this man all culminating into one moment. Foyet knows so much about them, all of their secrets laid bare to him, and Aaron knows it will never be over until one of them is dead.

He’s sure he growls and he lunges for Foyet, knocking the knife out of his hand. He gets him on the floor and punches him in the face. Hard. His knuckles almost immediately split with the force of it. Foyet laughs at first, and it makes him angrier. His fist came down with more force.

Aaron keeps hitting Foyet long after he surrenders. Long after the gurgling sound he made as he choked on his own blood stopped.Images of his children and his wife flash through his head, punctuated by the sound of the bones in Foyet’s face breaking, his teeth smashing against his fist. Aaron can feel his knuckles cracking, his skin breaking against the jagged edges of Foyet’s face but he can’t stop. The need to get this monster out of their lives for good was too great, overwhelming his usual unflappable control.

Derek eventually pulls him off of him, Dave running in not far behind. “Hotch, he’s dead. You’ve got to stop.”

Aaron heaves in a breath and looks over at the man who had torn his family apart, who had haunted his every thought and nightmare since he attacked him in this very house.

Foyet is unrecognisable, his face distorted by blood and bone.

Aaron doesn’t spare him another glance before he turns to Derek. “The kids are upstairs.” _________________

He finds Jack in his bedroom. As soon as Aaron opens the door the teenager jumps, clearly expecting Foyet to walk in.

“Dad.” The relief in Jack’s voice is palpable, and he closes the gap between them, hugging his father tightly. “You’re hurt. Where is he? What happened?”

Aaron pulls back and places his hands on his son’s shoulders to take a good look at him. He had gotten slightly taller. Another growth spurt that Emily had teased was coming clearly behind him. He squeezes Jack’s shoulders. “He’s not a concern anymore.”

Jack frowns. “You mean he’s dead?” He swallows and tilts his head at his father. “You killed him?”

“Jack. We can talk about it later, ok? Let’s get Theo and Amelia.”

His son hesitates, but nods. They leave the room together, and Aaron walks past Theo’s room. “I told him to go to his room.” Jack says, pointing to the closed door.

Aaron turns back for a moment. “He’ll have gone where he feels safest.” He turns back and opens the door to his own bedroom.

Amelia is standing in her crib, crying, and for a moment he is taken aback by how big his daughter looks, how beautiful she is. A mini Emily through and through. “Hi, honey.” He breathes, reaching to hold her for the first time since the morning he dropped the kids at Elizabeth’s house all those months ago.

The baby shies away from him, crying as if he was a stranger and it hurts more than any of Foyet’s blows had. He hears a whimper coming from under the bed.

“Jack, take your sister outside. JJ and the team are there.”

Jack picks up Amelia, and Aaron pretends that watching his little girl curl into her brother's arms so easily didn’t hurt him. He tries not to think about everything he missed. Those precious months of his daughter's life were stolen from him.

Jack turns to leave the room, shushing his sister to try and calm her down.

“Don’t go into the dining room.” Aaron says firmly, his tone leaving no room for argument. Jack looks back and nods briefly before leaving.

Aaron kneels on the floor, ignoring the pain that seems to spark throughout his entire body as he does so, and leans down to look under Emily’s side of bed. Theo is there, curled up in a ball, shaking. He has a gash on his forehead, and as soon as he sees his father he starts to cry in earnest.

“Daddy?”

Aaron clears this throat, pushing down all the emotions that threaten to spill out of him so he can try and help his terrified son. “Hey buddy. How about you come from under there?”

Theo sniffs and shakes his head. “George said Mommy is dead.”

It feels like a punch in the gut, the devastation in his son’s voice makes his own tears flood his eyes. “He lied, Theo. She’s ok. She’ll be here soon.” Theo still looks unsure, wiping his face with the back of his hand, unmoving from his place under the bed. “Have I ever lied to you before?”

He seems to think about it for a second before shaking his head at his father and Theo slowly scoots out from under the bed, immediately throwing himself into Aaron’s arms and holds him as tightly as he can.

Aaron pulls back and runs his hand over his son’s head, finger tracing the edge of the cut on his forehead. “What happened, buddy?”

Theo sniffs, his fingers digging into his father’s bloodied shirt. “I heard loud noises and got scared. I fell over.” He tilts his head at Aaron, placing his hand on his cheek, over a cut that Aaron knew must be one of a dozen or so injuries. “What happened, Daddy?”

Aaron smiles at his son and somehow, despite his injuries, he manages to stand without letting go of him, placing him on his hip as he leaves the bedroom. “It doesn’t matter now. Let's get this cut on your head checked out.”

_________________

Theo is getting checked over by a paramedic when Aaron hears it. A car pulling up and a door slamming. An almost immediate argument afterwards as he hears his wife’s voice demanding to be let into the house.

“Jack, stay with your brother and sister.” Aaron says, already walking towards the front of the house away from the ambulance, ignoring the paramedics as they shout after him that he needs to be checked over.

He tries to shout for her, but she doesn’t seem to hear him or Derek as they both try and get her attention.

Aaron is only a few paces from Emily when he sees her knees give way, and he looks to the house, sees the body bag on the porch and in a second knows what she has assumed. He catches her, arms wrapping around her waist. She fights it, the sounds coming from her almost inhuman. She’s begging to be let go, devastation in every word. He turns her around, uses his strength against her to make her look at him.

Their eyes meet, for the first time in six months, and he sees the moment she realises who she is looking at.

“Aaron?”

It takes a second for her to move. She throws her arms around him, hitting him with a force that makes him grunt, the pain in his body from his showdown with Foyet increasing by the second. He holds her back just as tightly, squeezing her body into his as she cries against his neck.

“I thought…” Her voice fades off, torn open by sobs she has no control over. “Fuck, Aaron.”

“I know, sweetheart.” He presses a fierce kiss to the top of her head. He tries not to register that her hair smells different, that she’s thinner, weight she couldn’t afford to lose, gone with the stress of the last few months. He kisses the top of her head again, tries to give her all the love he had stored up in half a year. Eager to spill out onto her in a way he can feel she is desperately trying to return. “I love you.”

She cries harder, pulls away from him and kisses him roughly. She pulls away from him enough to speak. “I love you too.” She seems to take in his injuries for the first time, runs delicate fingers over the broken skin on his face. “Where are the kids?”

He leads her to them, never once letting her out of his grasp. As soon as Theo spots his mother he runs to her. Tears streaming down his face before he even reaches her. Emily bends down to his level, arms wrapping around him tightly.

“Oh my sweet boy.” She presses a kiss to the side of his head, not quite believing it had only been a handful of hours since she had last seen him. Emily frowns when her lips catch the edge of a bandage and she pulls back, frown deepening when she sees the stark white material on her son’s forehead. “What happened?”

“I hit my head.” He explains, like it’s the simplest thing in the world.

Emily stands, pulling Theo against her side and wrapping an arm around him before she looks up at her husband. “Is he ok?”

Aaron nods in response, a silent promise that he would tell her later on his face. Jack appears next to them, Ameilia on his hip, his patience with hanging back gone. He pulls Emily into a fierce hug which she gladly returns, Theo taking the opportunity to step into his father’s side.

Emily and Jack pull back from each other. “I’m so glad you’re ok.” Jack says, the relief clear on his face, shining in his eyes in the form of tears he hadn’t let fall.

“Right back at you, kid.” She replies, running a quick knuckle over his cheek when a tear does escape. Amelia choses that moment to cry out and reach for her mother. Emily gladly takes her into her arms, holding her daughter close. “Sweetheart, it's ok. We’re all ok.”

_________________

Aaron has to go to the hospital. He tries to argue against it, but the firm looks of the paramedic and Emily leave him with no choice. They manage to all pile into one Ambulance, refusing to be separated so soon after being reunited.

They sit waiting for a doctor to come see him, to assess the damage Foyet had caused this time around.

It's not lost on Emily that the last time she’d seen him was in this very hospital, him begging her to go and hide away for her safety and their childrens. He’d been on edge, the mix of pain and sedatives that failed to calm him down had made him less coherent than normal.

It had taken her weeks to fall asleep without the look of horror on his face haunting her, or the fear that Foyet had killed him after all. Her only reassurance that he was alive being the very fact she was apart from him, and not in their home.

He somehow looked worse now than he did when he had just been stabbed. He was thinner, paler than she’d remembered him to be. A sign that he hadn’t looked after himself like she had begged him too when she left.

His shirt was splattered with blood, a mixture of his own and of the man who had tried and failed to tear their family apart blending together.

“Agent Hotchner?”

They look up to see a nurse standing there, waiting to take him to the numerous scans they were told he would need to ensure he didn’t have any internal bleeding.

He nods at her as he stands up off of the gurney he was on, wincing as he does so. He kisses Emily’s forehead as he passes her, a promise that he will be back soon pressed into her skin.

Having him out of her sight immediately sets her nerves on edge. Her ribs feel tight, fear scratching up her spine that he would be snatched away from them again. Emily looks over to the other side of the cubicle and sees Jack with a sleeping Amelia on his lap, talking gently to Theo to keep him distracted.

“Jack, are you ok here with them for a moment?” She lifts her hand that is holding Aaron’s cell phone. “I’m going to make a call.”

“Of course.”

Emily doesn’t miss the nervous look on his face, the waver to his voice, and she wants to kill Foyet herself for doing this to them all. She walks past Jack on the way out, and passes a hand briefly through Amelia’s soft hair before squeezing Jack’s shoulder. “I won’t go far, I promise.”

She finds a relatively quiet hallway and blows out a breath as she pulls up the contact she was looking for, pressing the screen before she could change her mind. The call is answered almost immediately.

“Aaron, is everything ok?”

Emily feels more emotion hit her than she was expecting, and has to close her eyes to hold back the tears she can’t afford to shed yet. “Hi, Mother.”

“Emily?” _________________

Her mother promises to fly back to the US as soon as she can, insisting on seeing them all as soon as possible. It’s an odd conversation, but not the most awkward they’ve ever had. Emily isn’t sure how to explain anything, how to tell her parents that a man had been scraped off of their dining room floor only a few hours ago.

Elizabeth asks how she can help, and Emily off-handedly says at the end of the call, with the promise to call again tomorrow, that they needed somewhere to stay.

Elizabeth calls back less than 5 minutes later and tells Emily there is a hotel room booked for them as long as they need it. The owner was an old friend of her mothers who was more than happy to help once he knew all of the details.

Emily walks back to the cubicle they had been put in to find both Amelia and Theo asleep on the gurney under the watchful eye of their older brother.

“Hi.” She says gently so she doesn't startle him. Jack turns to look at her, a sad smile on his face.

“Hi, Emily.” He looks away from her again and back to his siblings.

She sits next to him, taking his hand as she does so. “You ok?”

“I’m so sorry, Emily.”

She frowns at that, the desolation in his voice, and she gives his hand a squeeze. “What for?”

“For believing him, for putting your kids in danger.”

Emily feels like she has had the breath knocked out of her.“Jack.” She breathes out. “You are my kid.” He looks at her then, eyes wide with tears pooling at his lashes. “I love you just the same as I love them, okay?”

He nods at that, the movement making tears falls down his face which he immediately wipes away. “Okay.”

She smiles at him, pulling him into the best hug she can considering they are sat in hard plastic chairs.

“I love you too, Emily.”

Emily presses a kiss to the side of his head. “I know you do, honey.” _________________

The hotel room is massive. It’s the penthouse suite, three bedrooms leading off of the main living area, a kitchen in the back corner, and a bathroom with a massive jacuzzi tub. As soon as she opens the door, a sleeping Amelia in her arms, Emily realises she should have expected it.

Her mother had never been one for being low key.

Emily sees a couple of bags on the couch, stuff she knows JJ had sent up for them. A couple of change of clothes for them all, some pyjamas and basic toiletries.

She puts Amelia down to sleep immediately, placing her in the crib that had been put in the master bedroom.

It doesn’t take long for the boys to go to bed. They chose to share a room despite there being enough for them to sleep separately for the first time in months, and something about it makes her smile. She tucks Theo in at his request, and sends Jack a grateful smile, knowing he is giving her and Aaron some time.

As Emily clicks the bedroom door behind her she sees her husband flex his fingers, the stiffness in the swollen joints obvious. “Come on.” She says gently, indicating he should sit on the couch. “We should ice your hand a little.”

He complies as she briefly leaves the room to grab a towel, before getting ice from the bucket and wrapping it up.

Aaron hisses as the cold hits his skin, and she gently apologises under her breath.

“Why did you do it?” Emily asks as she holds the ice over his torn up knuckles like the nurse had instructed. She thinks briefly about how gentle his hands had always been with her, with their children. It seemed incongruent to think that the same hands had just beaten a man to death in their dining room.

“Do what?”

She glares at him, pressing a little too harshly with the ice into his hand. “Serve yourself up to him like some kind of sacrificial lamb.”

“Better me than you or the kids.” He says gruffly, avoiding her unyielding gaze. “It’s me he wanted. If he had killed me…” His voice drifts off for a second at the sharp intake of breath she takes in at that. He looked up at her, but she wasn’t looking at him anymore. Her focus on the broken skin on his hands. “You and the kids would be ok eventually, you’ve been without me for a while anyway.”

Emily looks up at him sharply and abandons her task completely, putting the ice down on the nightstand. She cups his cheeks, thumb tracing over a cut high on his cheek bone. “We haven’t been ok, Aaron. At all. I got a taste of my life without you and I didn’t like it.” She clears her throat. “So, please don’t offer yourself up like bait to any more serial killers, ok?”

He doesn’t miss the crack to her voice or the way her fingers tremble on his face. He covers her hands with his and rests his forehead against hers. “Ok.” _________________

Aaron insists that she showers first. She tries to argue, says that he was the one who needed it more, but in the end she relents. She turns the water temperature up a little too high, lets it burn the day off of her skin.

Emily takes a deep breath and leans against the shower wall. The enormity of the day, and what she could have lost, hitting her all at one. She stands and sobs under the hot water beating down on her, different scenarios of how the day could have gone running through her mind in a way she knew would haunt her nightmares for weeks to come.

It didn’t feel real that they had all made it out, that she could start piecing her family back together.

She knew it wouldn’t be easy. The look on Aaron’s face when Amelia had cried when he tried to hold her upon their arrival at the hotel had fractured Emily’s heart. He had refused her offer of a joint shower, something he had never turned down before. Things felt fragile. Like the tiniest aftershock from the terror that had torn through their lives could tear them apart.

Once she has stopped crying, Emily showers quickly and wraps a bathrobe around herself as she leaves the bathroom. When she walks back into the bedroom she was sharing with Aaron he was nowhere to be found. She frowns and walks out into the main part of the suite only to find he’s not there either.

She begins to panic, wondering where he could possibly be, when the door the suite opens, her husband walking through with a CVS bag in his hand.

“Where the hell did you go?” She asks, voice harsher than she initially intended. She tightly wraps her arms around herself, trying desperately to hold the broken pieces of herself together. “You can’t just leave.”

“I thought I’d be back before you got out of the shower.” Aaron answers, shrugging his coat off at the door. He walks towards her and places a gentle hand on her arm. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Emily tries to smile at him, but it doesn’t quite work. The tension from the day was still bubbling under her skin in a way that made her worried she’d eventually take it out on him. “What was so important at the pharmacy? I thought they gave you everything you needed at the hospital.”

Aaron opens the plastic bag and pulls out a pack of three peanut butter cups and presses it into her hand. “They didn’t have any of the giant ones left, so this will have to do.”

She looks at the chocolate in her hand and then up at her husband, confusion leaking out of her every pore. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Peanut Butter Cups. They didn’t have any giant ones.”

Confusion quickly turns into concern as she worries he may have a concussion after all, the practicalities of getting him back to the hospital when all of their children were asleep running through her head. “Aaron, honey.” She places a hand on his cheek. “You’re not making any sense.”

Aaron leads her over to the couch and sits them both down. He silently pulls his cellphone out, presses the series of buttons he has used countless times since he had sent her away. He watches his wife’s face as her own voice comes out of his phone.

“Hi honey, I just left Theo’s school, and I need to pop home before I take Amelia to the daycare. I thought I’d let you know as my boss that I’ll be late for work, because my husband apparently forgot the conversation we had only last night, and I’ve ended up having to do the school run.”

Emily looks at him as they listen to the message together, but his eyes are fixed on his cell phone, his grip on it tight. This daily routine that had kept him going during the time they were apart being observed for the first time.

“Which, by the way, led to a lovely conversation with my mother. I know baby, Daddy is an idiot.”

They both smile sadly at Amelia’s baby noises in the background, the fact she had grown so much since then more evident than ever.

“Anyway, you owe me big time. I’m thinking at least two orgasms and one of those giant peanut butter cups. I’ll see you later. Lo-.”

The voicemail cuts out and they sit in silence for a few seconds, Aaron avoiding her gaze, before she speaks. “I don’t remember leaving that.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to.” He clears his throat, finally looking at her. “I didn’t find it until after I got home from the hospital and got my phone back.”

Emily places her hand over his wrist and strokes the skin there before laying her head on his shoulder. “How many times did you listen to that?”

“Daily. Sometimes more than once.”

She sighs and turns her head enough to press a kiss into the material of his shirt. She isn’t sure what to say, how to make any of it better. Ultimately she knows she can’t, at least not yet. They would both need to be on more even footing to feel reassured they had each other back.

“Thank you for my peanut butter cups.”

He laughs like she hoped he would, but he winces quickly, the pain in his ribs sharp like a blade. She lifts her head to look at him, concern laced through her expression. Aaron smiles at her and presses a whisper of a kiss to her lips.

“You’re welcome sweetheart, but I may have to take a rain check on those orgasms for now.”

Emily laughs this time, and it catches in her chest on a sob. She rests her forehead against his. “I’ll hold you to that, Hotchner.” _________________

Aaron sends Emily to bed, her exhaustion clear on her face. He showers quickly, wanting nothing more than to climb into bed with his wife and try to sleep.

When he walks into the bedroom she is already asleep. Curled close to the middle of the bed, her hand placed on the pillow intended for him. He pulls back the covers on his side and grabs her hand as she settles next to her, intertwining their fingers in a way that he had missed over the 6 months they were apart.

She had always been a light sleeper, which was only made worse when their children came along, so she wakes, but keeps her eyes closed. She squeezes his hand before untangling hers from his and placing it on his neck, thumb pressed to his pulse point.

“Is this real?” She moves so she’s sharing his pillow, forehead pressed against his, as if in that moment she doesn’t care if it is real, or some kind of cruel dream. That she just wants to be close to him, even if it means she’d open her eyes and find herself alone in the apartment she’d lived in with their children. “You’re here?”

He smiles at how she sounds when she’s half asleep, voice thick and words running into one. He pulls her closer into his arms and she gladly follows, wrapping themselves around each other tightly, as if George Foyet could rise from the dead and tear them apart again. They have so much to talk about, so many things that need fixing before they can go back to any version of the life they had before he came home to find Foyet waiting for him, but it could all wait until morning.

“I’m right here, sweetheart.” He presses a kiss to her nose. “I’m right here.”

They both sleep fitfully. Nightmares tearing at the edges of their consciousness until they wake, finding solace in each other's arms.

[sequinsmile-x]

If Tomorrow Starts Without Me - Chapter 10

I cannot believe we are at the last chapter. I have no words to express how much I appreciate all the love for this story, for the version of Aaron and Emily that are in it, and the family I have created for them here.

It means...so, so much. Rating: Mature (smut in this chapter) 

Words: 5.2k 

You can read over on a03, or below the cut

Please let me know what you think <3

April 1993

Emily hated these events. How false everyone was - plastic smiles and lies scattered around the room in a way that made her skin crawl. She always had an escape route, a place of solace she could find when her mother was getting too much for her.

This particular event was always held in the same hotel, and so her hiding spot was always the same. A small, windowless conference room just down the corridor from the ballroom. Her mother had never found it, or her, so she cursed when she heard the door opening only 20 minutes after she had snuck off.

She sighs as she turns around, ready to tell off whoever had disturbed her only for her to come face to face with Aaron. “Oh, hi. What are you doing here?”

“I came to find you.” He answers as he clicks the door closed behind him. “I’m off duty now. And you promised me a dance if I remember correctly? Something about it being the perfect thing to piss off your mother.” His smile disappears when she doesn’t return it, discomfort clearly laced throughout her body. “Are you ok?”

Emily tilts her head slightly at him, unsure how honest she could be. Since they had gone for drinks together and he had told her about his ex, who she had since learned was called Haley, things had changed between them. They had always been friendly, but it had now taken a turn into flirting. Long glances at each other in the hallways of her mother’s home, lingering touches that definitely were not appropriate. There was something about Aaron that she trusted, something that made her want to be around him.

“I hate these things. My mother parades me around like I’m a thing to show off to society.” She scrunches her nose at the idea of it and looks at the floor. “All those men out there looking at me like I’m some prize to be won.”

He’d noticed it. The way the men in the room had watched her as she walked around with her mother, his blood boiling he saw slightly wandering hands as she was pulled into another dance she clearly didn’t want to be a part of. Aaron didn’t question exactly why it bothered him so much, not wanting to pick at that thread and unravel the friendship he had built with Emily in the time they had known each other. Spending time with her already meant more to him than it probably should.

“You deserve better than that.” He says, frowning in a way that makes her smile. She reaches for him on some kind of instinct, not even realising she's doing it until her finger traces the frown line between his eyebrows. Emily smiles at him, and takes in the genuine concern on his face. He cared about her and expected nothing in return, and she couldn’t remember the last time someone made her feel so safe.

So she bridges the gap between them and kisses him, and she would spend the rest of her life claiming he kissed her first.

For a moment he’s still, and she's worried she has read it wrong. That the subtle moments between them over the past few weeks since she’d dragged him to a bar against his will had all been in her head.

Then he kisses her back, his lips pressing back into hers as his hand moves to the back of her head, tangling in her hair to hold her close.

Emily pulls away from him, hiking her dress up so she can sit on the table. She drags him closer, spreading her legs so he could stand between them and she kisses him again.

Aaron pushes one of the thin straps of her dress off her shoulder, following the material with his lips. A soft sigh escapes her and it seems to bring him out of it, and he pulls back from her. He cups her cheek with his hand, running a thumb over her swollen bottom lip.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” She replies before kissing him again, her teeth clashing with his with the force of it. His hands are all over her then, pushing her dress the rest of the way up her thighs. He bites her lip as he pushes her underwear to one side and she gasps into his mouth.

He takes her apart with his fingers first, covering her mouth gently with his spare hand as she cries out, worried they would attract attention from anyone walking past. Emily kisses him harshly then, shaking hands pulling at his belt buckle whilst she wraps her legs around his waist.

“Em, wait.” He murmurs against her lips, gasping as she grabs him, pulling him further into the cradle of her hips.

“If you ask me if I’m sure again, I’ll kill you.” She laughs, pressing a kiss to his dimpled cheek, wrapping a leg around him tighter to encourage him further.

As he enters her they both gasp, and she wretches her mouth from his to rest her forehead against his, her eyes closed as she adjusts. “Move, Aaron. Please fucking move.”

He complies, gently at first but goes harder, faster each time she begs him for it. She breaks apart around him, and nods into his shoulder at his unasked question, feeling him fall over the edge inside of her only moments later.

She leans her forehead against his, breathing heavily as her heart rate returns to normal.

“I’m sorry.” He says as he kisses her.

“What are you apologising for?” She asks, kissing him again, trying to regain her breath but finding herself unable to stop touching him

“You deserved better than that.” He says, echoing his earlier words of how other men had treated her.

“It was pretty good from my point of view. Excellent even” She says, biting her lip as she looks at him, wrapping her arms around the back of his neck. “But, if you think you can do better...we could always go to mine?”

Aaron doesn’t miss the tentative nature of her question, the way she seems nervous for the first time since she had kissed him.

“Won’t your mother miss you?”

She shakes her head. “No. And, if you remember, I have just moved into my own place. No interruptions.” She leans forward and kisses him. “At all.” Another kiss.

He grins against her lips. “Then lead the way.”

Aaron knows he would follow her anywhere. ______________________

Emily calls him 20 minutes after JJ, her name flashing on his phone screen making him immediately feel better. Relief floods through his body as he abandons packing the bag on the bed so he can answer his phone.

“I’m okay.” She says as a greeting, although she doesn’t sound it. He’s known and loved her long enough to know when she's in pain, even when he can’t actually see her. Aaron can hear the sound of the buzz of an emergency room around her.

“Em. The car you were in was hit by a truck. You’re not okay.”

She chuckles slightly, the sound dying on her lips, and then winces. “Fine, I’m not okay.” She admits. “My entire body hurts, but you don’t have to come here. I’ll be home as soon as we recapture him.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” He says, feigning innocence.

“I know you’re already packing a bag and thinking of a way to get the kids to my parents, despite the fact that it’s midnight.”

His eyes drift to the bag on the bed, hurriedly packed with things he hadn’t even really thought about as he shoved them in. She has known and loved him just as long as he has done the same for her, so it shouldn’t surprise him that she knows this would be his instinct, but it does.

Aaron thinks he could be married to her for 100 years and still be surprised by her. Amelia cries out, despite him only just getting her settled back into bed.

“Is she ok?” Emily asks, sounding weary.

“She’s fine, Em. Just missing you I think.” He sighs. The separation anxiety was bad on both sides, Amelia was just the right age for it. Crying out any time Emily wasn’t in the same room as her, having spent her entire life with her mother just within reach. He knew Emily was struggling too. She had gotten used to being around the kids all the time, and when she left for work only a couple of days ago it felt very reminiscent of her first day back after having Theo and Amelia. Torn between her family and her job, knowing both were important parts of who she was.

Aaron hated that her first case back had ended up like this, with her hurt and too far away for him to see her. To check she was really okay. It felt like a taste of how she must have felt when he was in hospital, leaving him behind and not having any way of knowing how he was.

“I miss her too. All of you.”

“We’ll be here when you get back.” ______________________

She realises she should have expected it the moment she sees him standing on the tarmac as she gets off the jet. He was never going to leave it, to let her make her own way home despite her assurances before they took off that Derek was going to drop her home.

Emily can’t hide the wince that escapes her as she walks down the steps of the jet to the ground, the pain vibrating through her aching body, stiff from a long flight and a lack of movement.

She tries to smile as she approaches him. She wants to reassure him that despite her appearance, the black eye, the massive bandage on her arm and how slowly she was moving that she really was ok. The concerned look on his face tells her that she has failed, and he gently traces the bruise below her eye with the pad of his thumb.

“Sweetheart.” Aaron says as he wraps his arms around her, loosening his grip when she stiffens in his embrace.

Emily presses her forehead into his shoulder. “Hell of a first case back.”

He pulls back from her, and sees Derek standing behind her with her go-bag in his hand. “Let’s go home, the kids are excited to see you.”

Aaron grabs her bag from Derek and throws a grateful nod to the team, knowing that they would have looked after her in his absence. He guides her over to their car and tries to help her in, but she bats his hands away, claiming she doesn’t need help.

He says nothing when he has to help her clip her seatbelt into place, the pain in her upper body too much for her to do it herself. ______________________

Theo runs into her so quickly when they get back to the apartment that they don’t have time to remind him to be gentle. He recoils quickly when she can’t control her reaction, the yelp of pain that escapes her as her son wraps his arms around her at full force.

“It’s ok, Theo. I promise.” She says, hoping he doesn’t pick up on the breathlessness in her voice. “You just need to be careful, okay.”

He nods. “I’m sorry, Mommy. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Oh sweetheart.” She tugs him back into her, hand cupping the back of his head. “You could never hurt me, ok?”

She leads them over to the couch so she could sit down, and Theo immediately sits next to her, fingers tracing over the large white bandage on her arm. “Did the bad guy hurt you?”

Emily smiles softly at him. “Yes, sweetie. The bad guy hurt me.”

He looks concerned as he reaches for the bruise on her eye, fingers less gently than Aaron’s had been earlier and she manages to suppress a wince. “Was it George?”

Emily’s smile falters at that, and she pulls her son into her as best she can, hugging him close. “No, baby. George can’t hurt any of us anymore, remember? Daddy made sure of that.”

She feels Theo nod against her and she sighs. There were moments when she would love to bring George Foyet back just to kill him again herself. Whenever Theo mentioned him, fear colouring his face, she felt the hatred burning for the man throughout her entire body.

“Someone heard that Mommy was home.”

Emily looks up to see Aaron holding Amelia in his arms, the little girl scrambling to get into her arms. She winces as she takes her, the strain on her upper body unavoidable.

“Hi sweet girl.” She holds her daughter against her chest and the little girl immediately melts into her embrace.

Jack appears next, his concern all over his face as he looks at her. The moment he registers the bandage on her arm and her black eye apparent. “I’m fine, Jack.” She says before he could ask. “I promise.”

He nods, hands dug into his jeans pockets. “I’m glad.” He clears his throat. “I was thinking we could get pizza for dinner?”

Emily smiles widely at him. “Sounds great.”

______________________

Aaron puts Amelia to bed, and observes Theo brushing his teeth at Emily’s request. When he’s done Emily isn’t in the living room like he was when he had left her.

He seeks her out like he always has, knows her well enough to know her hiding spots even in this temporary apartment they found themselves living in. She is exactly where he thought she would be, looking out of the large window in the dining room that overlooked DC. It reminded him so much of the first place they’d lived together, before the desperation that came with wanting to build their family, everything that followed with Haley and then Foyet. The place where he had learnt just how much he needed her.

“Em?” He speaks gently, knowing she is still on edge from everything that’s happened recently. She jumps anyway, and he doesn’t miss the wince that follows. Her whole body still sore from the car accident she’d been in, the pain of it only beaten by the guilt she felt for not being able to save the detective she had been travelling with.

She turns to look at him, visible relief on her face when they lock eyes. She tries and fails to smile at him before turning back to look out the picture window. “Did Amelia go down ok?”

“She’s out like a light.” He walks towards her, gentle as he wraps his arms around her from behind. She leans back into him and allows him to take some of her weight. The easiness that had always been present in their physical affection had returned. His initial hesitance around her was gone as quickly as it had appeared. He was always touching her now, reassurance that she was there next to her, and he wasn’t going to open his eyes to find that this had all been some kind of cruel dream.

“Good. She’s been having trouble lately. I think it’s all the change.” She speaks absentmindedly, her thoughts clearly elsewhere.

He presses a kiss into her temple. “Want to talk about it?”

“Yes.” She says, swallowing against the lump in her throat. “But I don’t know where to start.”

He leads her to the couch and curls up behind her, gently dragging her aching body into the safety of his arms. Emily leans into him and hugs his arm across her chest, seeking comfort that only he could provide her.

“One of the men he killed today was home with his wife and son.” She says quietly the words of Dan Otley’s wife floating around her head like dust in the morning sun.

I was always afraid to believe it, you know? Because then it can be taken away.

“He was right there with his family and then…he just wasn’t.”

Aaron closes his eyes and presses a kiss to her temple. He knew what she was thinking, what fears would be tearing at the edges of her nerves. “Em, we’re all here. We made it.”

It had become a mantra of sorts. Something they’d say as they coaxed each other out of nightmares where they hadn’t been so lucky. Dreams where Aaron woke with the feeling of her blood on his hands seeming so real it would take her an age to calm him down, the only solution often being pulling his head to her chest. The sound of her heartbeat was the only thing that could assure him she was ok.

She’d see them all dead. Her husband and her children were stolen from her by a man she had never personally met. Emily would wake with tears already on her cheeks, shaking hands reaching for him as he held her fiercely. Reassuring words pressed into her skin as he stroked her hair.

“I know.” She replies softly. “But Theo still isn’t sleeping through the night. Jack is as angry as he was when Haley died. You and I are both a mess.” She half laughs, half cries. “The only one who is vaguely ok is Amelia and that’s because she doesn’t understand.”

Aaron carefully moves her so he can look at her. He tucks some of her hair behind her ear, letting his thumb trail down her cheek.

“Sweetheart, we’ll get there. All of us. It will just take some time - which we have plenty of.” She nods at him, but her eyes still betray how unsure she is. How terrified she is that she could lose everything. “What can I do to help?”

Emily smiles at him and cups his cheek. “You’re already doing it. I wouldn’t say no to a bath though.”

He guides her to the ensuite off of their room and runs a bath for her. Aaron can’t help the concerned look on his face when she slowly strips off her clothes, the black bruises left by the car crash all over her body.

“I’d say it looks worse than it is.” She quips. “But it feels pretty fucking terrible.”

He helps her into the tub. He doesn’t join her, in fear of hurting her, but he kneels on the ground next to her, fingers tangled through hers before he helps her wash the horror of a day she’d had away from her skin.

When they climb into bed and he lays as far away from her as possible she gives him a reproachful look. “Get the hell over here, Aaron.”

He wraps her in his arms, and he runs his fingers up and down her back. When she wakes in the middle of the night, images of watching a man get strangled in front of her replaying in her head, Aaron keeps his hold on her.

Just like he always would. ______________________

They go house hunting and it is every bit as painful as Emily remembers it being the first time around. Every property they are shown has something missing, something that just doesn’t sit right with them. Memories of their old house, the place they had planned to call home forever, haunting them at every turn.

Then they find it. A beautiful house in Arlington that ticks all of their boxes and more. The hardwood floors and white walls create a feeling of a new beginning. Enough bedrooms for the kids to have one each and one left over for a shared home office for Aaron and Emily.

Emily falls in love with the porch swing, memories of teaching Jack spanish flooding through her as the real estate agent raves about the wrap-around porch.

They sign the deeds that afternoon. ______________________

Aaron quickly realised that moving house while you had children was significantly harder than when you didn’t. He remembered when they bought their first house. How they slowly unpacked everything in between rounds of sex, christening every room they could. Many of them more than once.

This time they had no such luxury. Jack was moody, but helped distract Theo as the team helped them carry boxes into the house.

Amelia refused to be put down or held by anyone other than either of her parents. Pitching a fit as soon as she was passed to somebody else. Which is how Aaron found himself standing in his new kitchen, his daughter on his hip, as he unboxed their crockery one-handed.

The baby clearly felt as if she wasn’t being paid enough attention, because she slapped her hand to his cheek, her fingers digging into his dimples.

He huffed out a laugh. “Amelia, sweetheart, please be gentle with Daddy’s face. Your Mommy quite likes it.”

“Dada.”

He stops, almost drops the plate he had in his hand before he is able to put it down on the kitchen island. He looks at Amelia who is staring right at him.

“Did you just say, dada?”

“Dada.”

Aaron kisses the side of her head before leaving the kitchen in a rush, in a desperate attempt to find his wife. “Emily?”

“Aaron?” Her breathless reply comes back from the floor above, and he hears her racing down the stairs. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, but-”

“Jesus, Aaron.” She admonishes him, sighing. “Can you maybe not scare the shit out of me next time by shouting like the house was on fire?”

“Emily.” He says, stopping her before she could rant any further. She purses her lips and stands in front of him, hands on her hips. He turns his attention back to Amelia and bounces her on his hip slightly. “Amelia, who is this?” He asks, pointing at himself.

It takes a moment, and he briefly thinks he imagined it, but then he hears her sweet little voice again. “Dada.”

Aaron looks at Emily, and sees how tears immediately spring to her eyes. She steps towards them and hugs him, kissing Amelia as she does so. “What a clever girl you are.” ______________________

Emily misses the first time Amelia walks. It happened when she was away on a case. It hurts when Aaron tells her over the phone, a burning sensation in her chest as she fails to accept she missed such a pivotal moment in her daughter's life.

The pain eases when Jack texts her a video of the moment. The footage shows Amelia taking unsure steps between Theo and Aaron, the joy on her husband's face outweighing any upset she felt.

When she gets home two days later her amazing, loving husband recreates it for her. He makes her stand in the same hallway from the video and he asks Theo to stand a few paces away from him and Amelia before he sets the little girl on the floor.

Emily watches as Amelia toddles slowly back and forth between Theo and Aaron, Jack recording it on his cell phone, soft laughs coming from all of them. For the first time since that morning, when she walked into their old house and found a bullet hole in the wall and Aaron’s blood on the floor, she truly believed everything was going to be fine. That they had made it.

“Sweetheart?” She looks up to see Aaron standing at her side, Amelia in his arms, giggling to herself. “You ok?”

Emily nods and diverts her attention to their daughter who was now reaching out for her. She pulls Amelia into her arms and presses a kiss to the side of her head, her emotions getting the better of her as she thinks about her baby girl walking, and how grateful she was that they got to celebrate that moment as a family.

Aaron notices, as he always does, and he pulls Emily into a hug, holding her and their daughter in his embrace. He kisses Emily’s forehead and places a hand on Amelia’s back. “My girls.” He murmurs into his wife's hairline.

“Dad, gross.” Jack exclaims, making Emily laugh loudly as she leant further into Aaron.

“Yeah, Aaron. Gross.” ______________________

Emily wakes up first for once. She quickly gets out of bed and presses a kiss to Aaron’s cheek as she sneaks out of their room. She smiles when she enters Amelia’s room to see the little girl already awake, standing in her crib and reaching out for her mother.

“Morning, sweet girl.” She lifts the baby up and into her arms, pressing a series of kisses into her dark hair as she takes a seat in the chair in the corner of the room. “Happy birthday.”

“Mama.” Amelia settles in Emily’s arms, seemingly content to have an early morning snuggle with her mother. Her hand tangles in Emily’s hair as she talks to herself.

Emily runs her hand gently up and down her daughters back, content to have some rare one on one time with her. “I can’t believe it’s been a year.”

She still remembers the fear she felt that morning, walking into the bathroom to have her waters break a month early. Amelia making a dramatic entrance into the world that ended up being almost a prophecy for the year they would have.

“Is this a girls-only gathering or can anyone join?”

Emily looks up to see her husband standing at the door of the nursery, smiling at the two of them together. “What do you think, Amelia?” She whispers to the baby, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. “We can make an exception for Daddy, huh?”

“Dada!” Amelia squeals, making Emily roll her eyes good naturedly while she mutters something about favouritism under her breath.

Aaron walks into the room and sits on the arm of the chair, and he presses a kiss to the side of each of their heads. “Happy birthday, sweetie.” He says as he kisses Amelia again.

Emily rests her head against his side. “What time is everyone arriving?”

“Not until this afternoon.” He lifts Amelia into his arms as he reaches for her, and stands up to place her on his hip. “So we can have a nice easy morning.”

A crash from outside the room happens almost simultaneously. “Theo.” Jack’s voice shouts out afterwards, frustration laced through his tone.

Emily laughs. “Since when did easy mornings exist in this house?” ______________________

When the party winds down that evening, the birthday girl is exhausted. The celebrations lasted well past her bedtime, and she passed out in her mothers arms for the last hour of it. Emily shifts Amelia in her arms as she walks upstairs to put her to bed, letting Aaron say goodbye to the rest of their guests.

She quickly changes her daughter into her pajamas, expertly doing it without waking her, and she lays her in the crib before kissing her gently, whispering how much she loves her against her forehead. Emily grabs the baby monitor as she leaves the room, softly closing the door behind her.

Emily checks in on Theo to see he was already asleep, the excitement of the day having worn him out. She sits on the edge of his bed and tucks him in a little tighter and she makes sure Archie is secure in his arms. She kisses him and gets up to leave.

“Love you, Mommy.”

She smiles and kisses his cheek again. “Love you too, sweet boy.”

As she walks down the stairs she passes Jack, who was heading up to his bedroom.

“Don’t stay up too late, Jack.”

He doesn’t stop as he walks past her, clearly already running late for when he told his friends he’d be online. “I won't, I promise. Love you, Emily.”

“Love you too.”

She goes in search of her husband and spots that the front door is slightly ajar. She finds him sat on the porch swing, a blanket half around him and a glass of wine in each of his hands. Emily smiles as she joins him, curling up into his side in the cold February evening, pulling the blanket around them both as she takes a glass from him and settles her cheek on his shoulder.

“Today was nice.” She says softly, snuggling into his side.

“It was.” He replies, taking a sip of his wine. “I can’t believe she’s a year old. So much has happened since then.”

She hums, turning her face to press a kiss to his neck. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Em.” He replies automatically.

She pulls back from him to look at him, her eyes searching for something he couldn��t quite place. “I know I say it a lot, but I really do love you. You know that right?” She whispers, the cold air she breathes out almost louder than the words themselves.

“Of course I do.” He frowns, pulls her impossibly closer, wrapping the blanket tighter around them both.

“I mean it Aaron,” she pulls away so she can look at him, cups his cheeks in her chilled hands. “I love you so much it’s almost ridiculous. I can feel it with every part of me. When we were apart…” Her voice falters like it always does when they talk about it, a wound still too fresh to not be painful even after the two months that had passed since they were reunited. “When we were apart I realised how much I need you. I had a glimpse of my life without you in it and I hated it.”

“Em.” He places his hands over hers on his cheeks, brings them down to his lap and tries to seep some warmth into them. “What’s brought all this on?”

She sniffs. “I don’t really know. I just keep thinking that this time last year Amelia was born, and it was scary as hell. And we had no idea what was coming. That Foyet would attack you in our home, that he’d try to kill our kids. Now everything is great again.” She wipes a tear from her cheek. “And despite the new house and everything I still feel like I’m waiting for the next thing to go wrong.”

“Em, sweetheart.” He stops her, leans her forehead on hers. “I can’t tell you nothing awful will happen to us again, that we’ve had our share. Because if that’s how it worked we’d have hit our limit with what happened with Haley.”

She nods against him, closes her eyes to stop more tears from falling. “I know.”

“What I can tell you is that whatever happens, whatever tomorrow, or a week or a year from now brings, we can face it together. Okay?”

She pulls back, looks at him with tears in her eyes and sees just how sure he looks. How resolute he is in what he is saying, and she believes him. “Okay.”

He kisses her, like he has a thousand times before, and pulls her into a hug. “I love you so much, Emily. More than I did yesterday, less than I will tomorrow.”

She snorts out a laugh before muffling it into his shoulder, aware all the kids were in the house asleep. “That was so fucking corny.” She presses her forehead into his neck. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” ______________________

I don't care what tomorrow brings, as long as I have you. - Molly Harper

[sequinsmile-x]

Date Night

An apology to @aubreyprc for all the angst I’ve put out into the world lately. 

She asked for fluff, I asked for a theme and she said ‘young hotchniss’ and this is what came about.

This fits into my Whatever Tomorrow Brings universe. 

Words: 983

Rating: General 

June 1993

He doesn’t know how he lets her convince her to do these things. 

Actually, he does know. She’s usually naked when she's talking him into something, and he has quickly learnt that he can’t say no to her at the best of times, let alone when his mind is truly elsewhere. 

That knowledge, however, gave Aaron little solace as they walked hand and hand into a crowded restaurant in downtown DC. Emily rests her head on his shoulder as he gives his name for the reservation, turning her head to press a kiss into the material of his suit jacket. The nature of their relationship was clear for everyone in the restaurant to see, which made him nervous. 

Not that he was ashamed to be seen with Emily. Far from it. She was incredible in just about every way possible, and in the two months they’d been whatever they were he’d loved every moment he had spent with her. 

The issue was that the restaurant he had unwittingly chosen turned out to be quite popular with politicians when they were in town. A fact he had only become aware of when he told her where he was taking her for their date, and she offhandedly mentioned that it was somewhere she had heard one of her mother’s friends mention at a function recently. 

Now all he could think about was them getting caught out, this thing between them still so new, so undefined, scrutinised by Elizabeth Prentiss before they really had a chance to figure it out themselves. 

“Aaron.” Emily says, amusement lacing her voice. He snaps out of his revere, and realises that the hostess is trying to show them to their seats.

He gives the hostess a smile and she leads them through the restaurant, and he relaxes a little when he sees their table is towards the back, largely out of sight. They sit next to each other in a booth. 

“You’re so on edge.” She comments, her voice teasing him. She puts her hand on his thigh under the table and squeezes the muscle. “Relax.” 

“I’m sorry.” He sighs, leaning in to press a soft kiss to her lips. 

“If we do get caught out I’ll take the fallout. Even though you definitely kissed me first.” 

He raises an eyebrow at her, a smile quirking on his face at the mention of the gentle teasing they always had with each other about their first night. “That is not how I remember it at all.” 

“Well it’s definitely how I remember it.” Her smile fades into a sigh when he looks around them again, as if her mother could literally pop out of nowhere.

“Aaron.” She says softly, placing her hand over his on the table. A playfulness in her eyes that always made his heart stutter in his chest. “We had sex in a conference room mere feet away from where my mother was hosting a charity gala. I think if she was going to catch us she’d have done it then.”

Aaron doesn’t miss the way she smiles when he feels his face flush at the mention of that night, the first night. “Sorry.” He apologises again. “You’re right.” 

They enjoy a night of good wine and food, sitting a little too closely to each other given the public setting. He grabs her hand a few times when her hand drifts a little too high on his thigh, her inhibitions loosened by the wine they had shared and how comfortable she felt with him. 

He loved how tactile she was, having learnt very quickly it was how she showed her affection. She was always touching him, and he loved it. Something that felt a little bit like love flowing from her skin to his.

Once they’ve settled the bill Emily turns to him, and runs her fingers through his hair. She smiles, and it is a bright and beautiful thing. “How about we get out of here Agent Hotchner? Go back to mine?”

Aaron can’t help but smile back at her. This time last year he had still been engaged to Haley. He still thought about her, he wondered why she had left so suddenly, a sharp end to their years together. It hurt less now than it had then, and Emily helped with that. She made him feel seen and heard in a way he never remembered Haley making him feel, at least not the last few years of their relationship. Aaron can’t imagine his life any other way now, can’t picture a world where Emily was nothing more than the daughter of a woman he once worked for. 

He leans forward and kisses her, a little deeper than he usually would in public, his hand tangling in her hair. They pull apart just enough to look at each other, and he watches as she bites her lip. Her eyes heated.

Aaron presses his lips to hers again, more gently this time. “Lead the way, sweetheart.”

The next morning he accidentally calls her his girlfriend, the word slipping past his lips whilst she tries to convince him to stay in bed with her. For a moment he holds his breath and watches a smile bloom across her face. She kisses him, and calls him her boyfriend and he feels relief seep out of him. 

Elizabeth shows up only a few minutes later. Emily answers the door wearing only his shirt as he walks down the stairs, saying something about his tie. 

Emily calls him that evening, laughing about her mother’s reaction. Telling him that, for now at least, they were off the hook since her parents would be out of town for several months. She laughs again at just how relieved he sounded, making fun of him in a way only she could get away with. 

He couldn’t help but think that her laugh sounded like forever.

[sequinsmile-x]

Day-to-Day Chapter 3

Chapter 3, “Jack,” will be posted tomorrow evening. 

Teaser below the cut. 

“I feel guilty.” Jack says, his gaze fixed on the granite headstone in front of him, purposely not looking at Emily. 

She furrows her brow. “Guilty about what?” 

“That I don’t immediately miss my mom in moments like this. It’s the biggest day of my life and part of me feels like I’ve come here out of obligation.” He admits. “She’s been gone so much longer than I had her, and sometimes I actually forget you aren’t my biological mom.” He sniffs, his jaw tightening as he tries to hold back his emotions. “And then I remember and I feel awful.”

Emily had spent the entire time she had known Jack wishing she could take  his pain, his grief, away. He had lost his mother at such a young age, and hadn’t known his father for the first several years of his life. He still had so many unanswered questions, things Haley had never had the chance to fully explain to him.

“Sweetheart.” She says, placing her arm around him and putting her hand on his shoulder. “She wouldn’t want you to feel like this. She loved you so much.” 

[sequinsmile-x]

Day-to-Day

“Day-to-day things, the mundane, are what keeps the motor running. How extraordinary the ordinary really is, a tool we all use to keep going.” - Cecelia Ahern

Emily is the glue that holds the family together. 

A story in the “5 times + 1″ format.  

Part of the Whatever Tomorrow Brings series.  

Coming soon

Teaser for Chapter 1, ‘Amelia’, below the cut 

“She’s not that bad, Aaron.” 

He scoffs at his wife. “She’s going to make me go grey.” 

“Honey. Amelia is a teenage girl. A pretty well behaved one in comparison to me.” 

“Suddenly I feel a lot more sympathy for Elizabeth than I ever have before.” He mutters as he continues to put dishes away.

“What was that?” She raises an eyebrow at him.

“Nothing, sweetheart.” 

She narrows her eyes at him as she passes him another plate, patting his cheek with her spare hand. “You’re already grey, Aaron. It’s got nothing to do with the fact our daughter has a boyfriend. Or a nose ring.”

[sequinsmile-x]

If Tomorrow Starts Without Me - Chapter 9

Rating: Mature (smut in this chapter)  Words: 7,261

Read it on a03, or below the cut

Let me know what you think :) 

October 2003

“I am going to kill her.”

Aaron turns from where he is preparing drinks for some of their guests to see his wife standing behind him, fury on her face and their 1 year old settled on her hip. He immediately knows who she is talking about.

He sighs as he abandons his task. “Em, sweetheart, love of my life.” He tugs her towards him and settles his arms around her and their son. “It is your birthday, and this little one's first birthday.” He says, tickling Theo’s side to get a laugh out of him. “Your mother has been here for all of 20 minutes, what has she said to have you considering murder already?”

She huffs out a breath. “She said I coddle him too much.”

Aaron’s eyebrows raise at that, not expecting Elizabeth to have commented on Emily’s parenting. It was something the older woman usually stayed away from, a silent acceptance that her daughter was a better mother than she ever had been.

“All that happened is he wanted to be picked up, so I did. And then she said that.” She carries on, clearly more upset than annoyed by her mother’s comment. “In front of everyone I might add.”

“Em.” He tucks some hair behind her ear, getting her attention to be focused back on him. “You are an excellent mother, please don’t pay any attention to her.”

She lowers her gaze from his and clears her throat. “I know I’m probably a bit over the top.” She says, as if he hasn’t spoken at all. “But we waited so long for him, and went through so much.”

“Emily.” He tilts her chin towards him, makes her look at him. “You are an excellent mother.” He repeats. “To both Theo and Jack. Don’t let her get to you okay?”

She nods and clears her throat. “Okay.” She looks back out of the kitchen over her shoulder. “I don’t want to go back out there.”

“You and Theo are the main event, you have to go back out there.” He reasons with her pressing a kiss to her lips. “Go see the team, I’ll put Jack on Elizabeth duty.”

She smiles at him and kisses him quickly before leaving the room, talking to Theo as she rejoins their friends and family.

Jack runs past the kitchen, so Aaron shouts for his attention. Jack walks up to him, a questioning look on his face.

“I need you to distract Elizabeth, okay?”

Jack sighs. “Why? What did I do wrong?”

“Jack, that's rude.” Aaron chastises whilst smothering a laugh. “Please.”

“Was she being mean to Emily again?” Jack asks, concern spreading over his face, his eyebrows tightening in a way that was so Haley it made Aaron’s gut twist.

“I think Emily is just a bit overwhelmed, and you know how they get to each other.” He says politically.

Jack seems to think about it for a second, before nodding. “It’s going to cost you two boxes of Lucky Charms.”

Jack leaves the room, leaving a very confused Aaron behind.

“I think I just got bribed by my 10 year old.”

__________________

November 2003

They are eating dinner all together when it happens. Aaron has Theo on his lap, giving Emily a break so she can eat a meal that wasn’t cold for once. Emily is telling him a story about Derek and Spencer’s antics in the office, a child friendly version since Jack is sat right opposite Aaron, when Theo wriggles out of his fathers lap.

“Ok, buddy. Down you go.” Aaron says, briefly putting his fork down as he settles the one year old on the floor, assuming he was after the toys that were scattered around the dining room.

Instead, Theo walks over to Emily, like he had done it a thousand times, and places his hands on her thighs, clearly wanting his mother’s attention.

The rest of the Hotchner’s speak almost in unison.

“Oh my god, did he just walk?” Emily asks, dropping her own cutlery down, abandoning her meal immediately.

“Shit, he did.” Aaron replies standing himself.

“I’ll go get the video camera.” Jack says, running off in search of it.

Theo looked incredibly confused over why everyone was suddenly looking at him so intently, and when Emily stands herself, he falls down, landing on his bottom, and he cries.

“Oh, sweetheart.” Emily croons as she picks him up, pressing a series of kisses to his face to cheer him up, knowing he really wasn’t hurt. She looks over at her husband. “Aaron, he walked.”

“Got the camera.” Jack says as he runs back into the room, camera on and recording and Emily smiles at him.

“Thanks, Jack.” She hands Theo over to Aaron. “Aaron, you take him, let's see if he does it again.”

Aaron nods, taking Theo and taking a few paces back from Emily, setting Theo on the ground. He stands there for a moment, looking confused.

“Go to Mama, buddy.” Aaron encourages, pointing at Emily who was crouched on the ground, arms out.

That, as Aaron expected it would, has Theo smiling and walking slowly over to Emily. He almost trips over a couple of times, unsteady on his feet, but he makes it, falling forward into his mothers arms.

Emily scoops him up and kisses him repeatedly, tears falling down her face as she does so. “Oh my sweet, clever boy.”

Theo tilts his head at her and places a hand on her cheek. “Mama sad?”

She shakes her head at him and presses a kiss to his face before looking over at Aaron and Jack, both beaming at her. “No, Theo. Not sad at all.”

__________________

February 2009

Emily really tries to not roll her eyes as Aaron insists on putting the car seat with Amelia down on the porch rather than let her hold it for the 10 seconds it will take him to open the door.

“Doctor's orders, sweetheart. No heavy lifting.” He says to her as the door opens and he picks the carrier back up.

She does roll her eyes that time as she walks past him. “Aaron, she’s not even 6lbs. I don’t think that counts as heavy lifting.”

Aaron raises an eyebrow at her when she winces as she sits on the couch, her c-section scar pulling. If she had the strength she would have got up and hit him, and throwing something at him was out of the question because he was holding Amelia. So she settled on just glaring at him.

“Jessica will be here soon with the boys.” He says as he lifts Amelia out of her carrier and brings her over to Emily without her having to ask. “They are both so excited to see her.”

“I know, Theo wouldn’t stop talking about her when I was home a couple of nights ago.” She takes Amelia into her arms, still blown away by how tiny she was. “I’m so glad you’re home, baby. No more nasty hospital.”

Emily thinks it must have been the longest week of her life, watching her tiny little girl in the NICU, her breathing suddenly becoming a problem on her first night in the nursery. Emily knows she’ll always remember the moment when the doctor came into her hospital room, where she was still recovering from surgery herself, and explained that Amelia needed a little extra care.

A combination of the pain, the hormones and the fear that there was something seriously wrong with her baby had left Emily inconsolable. Aaron sat next to her, his arm wrapped around her, as he asked the doctors the practical questions. Strong and dependable, and right by her side as he always was.

After too many nights sleeping on an uncomfortable bed in Amelia’s hospital room, Aaron having only convinced her to go home once, she was grateful to have her daughter home.

“She looks just like you.” Aaron says, stroking a finger over the baby’s head.

“You said the same about Theo.” She teases, looking up at him, a happy but sleepy smile on her face.

“You have seen our son right? He’s your double as well as your shadow.”

Amelia sneezes, drawing attention from her parents back to her. “I always forget how fucking cute it is when they do that.”

“Now she’s no longer living inside of you, you should probably work on cursing in front of her.”

“We managed to make Theo’s first word ‘mama’ despite my love of the word fuck.” She says, smirking at him when she curses again. “I think we can do it a second time.”

“Oh no, her first word is definitely going to be ‘Dada.’” __________________

May 2009 They get Theo to bed with a story from Emily, his concern about her going back to work manifesting in him all but refusing to go to sleep. The knowledge that when he woke in the morning his mother wouldn’t be there making him more difficult than usual.

She closes his bedroom door softly behind her, making sure he doesn’t wake back up as she sneaks out. Emily yawns as she walks to their bedroom, exhaustion seeping into her very bones. Amelia did not enjoy sleep, or at least seemed to consider it some kind of challenge to stay awake as long as humanly possible.

She enters her bedroom and sighs when she sees Aaron pacing the room, Amelia still very much awake against his chest. He turns to look at her, a tired smile on his face. “I think it’s fair to say she’s officially the most stubborn Hotchner.”

Emily laughs as she walks over, another yawn escaping her as she wraps her arms around her husband, resting her head on his chest next to where Amelia was. “If I feed her she’ll fall asleep.”

He hums and presses a kiss to the top of her head. “Sounds good.”

He passes the baby over, to Emily who whispers to her daughter as she takes her into her arms. She settles on her side of the bed and sits up against the headboard, readjusting her shirt to feed Amelia. She leans her head back and closes her eyes.

Aaron joins her in bed, sits up next to her as she nurses their daughter. “You ok sweetheart?”

She nods and lifts her head to look at him. “Just thinking about tomorrow.” She looks back down to the baby in her arms, who was already drifting off to sleep. “I hope it’s an easy day. No big cases. Just lots of paperwork and an evening back here.”

He leans in and presses a kiss to the top of her head. “You do remember it's the BAU right?”

“Shut up, Aaron. Let me hope just for a second, ok?”

He suppresses a laugh and watches as Amelia finally succumbs to sleep. “Whatever you want, sweetheart.” __________________

“Emily.” Jack’s voice is gentle but it's enough to wake her up. She blearily opens her eyes and sees her step-son standing next to her side of the bed. She shifts slightly, feels Aaron’s grip on her waist tightening, a gentle pull of her body back towards him that was strong enough to move her despite the fact he was sleeping.

It was the only time he was really touching her, his instinct in his sleep was still to seek her out, to pull her into his embrace. When he was awake it was a different story. He’d avoid her affection. Something he had never done, shying away from gentle touches to his skin, or kisses she tried to press to his forehead or cheeks. The joy of being reunited, of all of them making it, had faded into the awkwardness of learning how to be around each other again, and it hurt her more than she would care to admit.

“Jack.” Her voice cracks, sleepiness still present at the edges of her consciousness. “Is everything ok?”

“Theo is having a nightmare, I can’t wake him up.”

Emily gets out of bed quickly, carefully removing herself from her husband's grasp in an attempt to not wake him up. She follows Jack to the room he and Theo were sharing and her heart clenches in her chest when she can hear him whimpering in his sleep. She sits on his bed next to him and strokes her hand over his head, running her fingers through his hair. The sight of the cut on his forehead still made her breath catch.

“Come on sweetheart, you need to wake up.” She strokes his cheek with one hand, and rubs his back with the other, gently bringing him back to consciousness. He wakes up, eyes shooting open as he looks at her. “There you are, sweet boy. You’re ok.”

“Mommy?” He sits up and throws himself at her, seeking solace in her arms. Emily wraps her arms tightly around him, feeling him press his face into her neck, his tears wetting her skin.

“It’s ok, I’m here.” She presses a kiss to the side of his head. “Mommy’s here.”

“George said you were dead.”

Emily tightens her grip on her son, her hatred for Foyet burning through her veins. “He lied, honey. I’m right here.” She soothes him enough for him to pull back and look at her and she smiles at him, she runs her thumbs over his cheeks to wipe away his tears. “Do you want to come in and sleep with me and Daddy?”

He nods enthusiastically, tightening his grip on her again. She stands, lifting him onto her hip. He was really too big to be carried like this now, making her glad it was only a short walk back to the room her and Aaron were sharing. Theo rests his head against her shoulder and she presses a kiss to his head, and speaks words of comfort against his skin.

Emily turns to Jack who was still standing by the doorway. “Will you be ok?”

He nods. “Yeah I’ll be fine.”

She smiles at him and walks past him, grasping his arm briefly as she does so. “Thank you.”

Emily reenters the main bedroom, frowning when she hears crying as she walks in. She finds Aaron standing, Amelia crying in his arms. As soon as the little girl spots her mother she starts to squirm and reaches for her, more tears appearing on her face.

Emily sighs as she places Theo on the bed, placing the already sleeping boy under the covers on her side of the bed. Once he’s settled she looks up at Aaron, and sighs when she sees Amelia is still reaching out for her.

“I only fed her just before we went to bed, so she should be ok until morning.” She walks over to where he is standing, a still struggling Amelia in her arms. “She doesn’t do well in new places, or with new people.” She curses herself as soon as she says it, her exhaustion making her brain short wire. Things she wouldn’t usually say slipping past her carefully constructed walls. The way he looks at her cracks her heart. “Aaron, I didn’t mean it like th-”

“It’s fine, Emily.” He says, passing the screaming Amelia into her arms.

Once she has Amelia in her arms she presses a kiss into the baby’s head, shushing her as she tries to calm her down. She doesn’t miss the pain on Aaron’s face when she looks back up at him, the way he frowns at her when she can almost instantly soothe their daughter when he hadn’t been able to.

It breaks her heart too, memories of the relationship Aaron and Amelia had before all of this, before Foyet, floating around in her head. Images of how he had been the only one who could get her to laugh when she first started doing it, dragging the sweet sound out of her as often as he could. She remembered walking into their living room to find Amelia doing tummy time and Aaron laying on the floor right in front of her, whispering nonsense to their daughter.

In the two days since they had been reunited they hadn’t addressed it, hadn’t acknowledged that Amelia didn’t recognise him, how hurt he was by it, and that he would have to start that relationship from scratch.

“It will get better, Aaron.” Emily says, gently rocking the baby and rubbing her back as she tries to soothe her back to sleep. “It will just take a bit of time.”

“Yeah.” He says simply, looking away. “I’m going to go make a drink.” He points towards the main suite. “Do you need anything?”

She shakes her head, resists telling him that it’s 3am and they should just go back to bed now that the kids are settled again. “I’m ok, thanks.” She leans forward, closes the gap between them and presses a kiss to his cheek and ignores how he flinches away before he leaves the room.

Emily settles Amelia back into her crib before she climbs into bed next to Theo. The little boy immediately seeks her out in his sleep, his hands digging into her pyjama shirt as he moulded himself against her. She wraps her arms around him and closes her eyes, hoping sleep would find her easily.

When she wakes in the morning, Theo is still pressed close to her, and it’s clear Aaron’s side of the bed has not been slept in. __________________

Her parents show up at the hotel that evening, and Emily doesn’t think she’s ever been hugged so fiercely by either of them. The 6 months it has been since she last saw them is not the longest she has ever gone without seeing them by far, but it was different. She’d felt it too.

Theo and Jack are next, pulled into equally adoring embraces by their grandparents. Elizabeth and John both barely cover their upset when Amelia shys away from them, her face buried into Emily’s neck.

Emily is grateful that for once, her mother pays attention to the look she gives her, the silent request to leave it alone.

They spend a few hours together. It’s awkward, and if her parents notice the way Aaron is acting, how he keeps distancing himself from her, they don’t address it. When Theo gets too tired to keep his eyes open, falling asleep against John’s side, Emily gets him up and leads him to bed.

“Mommy, can I sleep with you and Daddy again?” He asks gently, almost embarrassed by the request.

She bends down to his level and presses a kiss to his forehead. “Of course, sweetheart. But it’s going to be a little bit before we go to bed, ok?”

“Emily.” Aaron’s voice makes her whip round to look at him, the annoyance on his face confusing her. “Can I have a quick word with you?”

“Yeah, ok.” She turns back to Theo and smiles at him. “Why don’t you stay out here with Grandma and Grandpa for a bit, I’ve got to go speak to Daddy.”

They walk into their bedroom, and she sneaks a glance at a sleeping Amelia in her crib as he closes the door. When she turns to look at him he looks angry.

“Aaron? What’s wrong?”

“He can’t just sleep in here every night. You have got to stop coddling him, Emily.”

Her eyebrows raise at that, defiance washing over her face. “Coddling him? This would be the second night.” She crosses her arms and tries to keep her cool. “He’s my son. He is upset and confused by everything that’s happened. You didn’t see how upset he was when he woke up last night. So if he wants to sleep in our bed until he’s feeling more settled then that’s what I’m going to let him do.” She runs a hand through her hair. “We don’t even have Archie to defuse it, I left him behind in all the panic.”

He wants a fight, she can tell. The tension radiating off of him in waves. “It’s not just Theo. It’s all three of them. They are too attached to you.”

She tilts her head at him and furrows her brows. “Of course they are attached to me, I’m their mother.”

“You’re not Jack’s.”

She can’t help the gasp that escapes at that, the words he’s only ever thrown at her once before. When Haley had just died and they were trying to find their footing again. She turns to leave, knowing that if she said anything further it wasn’t going to help.

“It’s not like you to walk away from a fight.”

She stops in her tracks and turns to look at him, indignation all over her face. “No, it isn’t. But I did. I tore our family apart because you asked me to leave, and now we are living with the consequences of that.” Emily blows out a breath, tries to calm down. “It’s not my fault Amelia doesn’t recognise you, Aaron.”

He hates that she knows him so well, that she can so easily get to the bottom of what is really upsetting him. “What are you saying? That it is my fault?”

“You started a war with a psychopath that you couldn’t finish. And me and your children had to live with the consequences.” She shakes her head at him. “And if you think for one second that it was easy, you are deluding yourself.”

He opens his mouth to say more, to throw more barbs her way, but the door to their room opens and Jack is standing there, a nervous look on his face. “We can all hear you.”

It’s enough to snap them both out of it, Emily sighing when she thinks about the fact her mother of all people would have overheard everything that had been said. She looks back at Aaron who won’t meet her eyes.

“I’m going out.” Aaron says, leaving the room before she can protest. Emily closes her eyes to stop herself from crying, not wanting to break down in front of Jack and with her parents in the next room. She looks at Jack and tries to smile, mutters an apology as she fails to do so.

Jack nods at her before following out after his father. “Dad, wait. I’m coming with you.”

__________________

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

Emily turns to look at Derek, who was standing behind her with his arms crossed and a concerned look on his face. “Yes. I think I need to do this.”

Derek stares at her a second before looking past her to the medical examiner, giving the other man a quick nod. The medical examiner opens a door to a small room and leads them in, a body covered in a sheet laying on a metal table in the middle of it.

Emily can’t help the gasp that escapes her when the sheet is pulled back, the mess of Foyet’s face being brought into view. She closes her eyes for a second and takes a deep breath before making herself look again.

He was unrecognisable. His face was a mess of bruising, dried blood and broken bones and teeth. She couldn’t believe that Aaron, a man who had always touched her so reverently, like she was made of precious jewels, had done this. That the same man who had comforted their children with such tenderness over the years had beaten this man to death, and clearly kept going much longer than was necessary.

She can’t blame him for it, not for a second, because she knows she would have done the exact same thing.

Emily takes a step forward, gets slightly closer to Foyet, and leans down to him. “You lose.”

She walks out the room without looking back. __________________

When Emily gets back to the hotel she sees her mother sat out in the living room, Amelia in her arms, Theo nowhere to be seen.

Elizabeth looks up at her and smiles. “That didn’t take long.”

Emily smiles and nods walking towards the couch. “Thanks for watching them.”

“Did you get what you needed from it?”

“Yes.” Emily replies, sitting next to Elizabeth. Amelia immediately reaches for her mother as soon as she is close enough. Emily smiles as she takes her into her arms, pressing a kiss to her dark hair as she does so. “I think so anyway. Where’s Theo?”

Elizabeth smiles at the mention of her grandson. “Your father is reading him a story, hopefully he’ll fall asleep in his own room tonight.”

Emily sighs. She had left so soon after Aaron and Jack had that there hadn’t been the chance for this conversation earlier. “Mother, please-”

“I’m not criticizing you.” She interrupts, placing a hand on her daughter's leg, trying to soothe her in a way that had never really existed in their relationship. “I promise.”

Emily stares at her, tries to find some of the underlying passive aggressiveness that usually existed in her relationship with her mother. But she found nothing except concern, and something that looked like sympathy. “Ok.”

They sit in silence for a moment, both laughing when Amelia suddenly hauls herself up on Emily’s lap, hands tangling in her hair as she balances herself. Emily smiles at her daughter as she replaces her hair in Amelia’s hands with her fingers. Her heart clenched as it always did when her baby’s hands grasped on tight.

“She’s changed a lot.” Elizabeth says, briefly running a hand down Amelia’s back.

Emily nods. “Yeah, well that’s what 6 months does I guess.”

“You’re still angry at him for asking you to leave.”

Emily turns to look at her mother, eyebrows furrowed. “I’m not-”

“You are, and I can’t blame you. I would have been too.” Elizabeth smiles at her. “I was angry. I went to visit him in the hospital the day after you left.”

She frowns at that. “You did?”

“I did. And then I understood.” Elizabeth can’t help the laugh that escapes when Amelia suddenly launches herself forward, head resting on her mother’s shoulder. “You’ll be fine. You both just need to talk to each other. You’ve always got through everything.”

Emily smiles, tightening her hold on her own daughter as she settles into her. “Careful, Mother. It’s starting to sound like you actually like Aaron.”

Elizabeth smiles at that. “And he can never know.” __________________

They drive in mostly silence after Jack gives him the street address to the apartment they had stayed in during their time in witness protection.

Jack looks at him for a long moment, contemplating if it was really his place to say anything about the argument he had overheard. He turns back to look out the windscreen before he talks, and watches as the city gives way to countryside, memories of the drive out here for the first time seeping in. He remembered Theo and Amelia crying in the back seat. Theo because he had some vague understanding they wouldn't see their father again for a while. Amelia because she absolutely hated car journeys.

Mostly Jack remembers catching Emily’s eyes as he looked into the back of the car, how sad she looked despite the encouraging smile she plastered on for him.

“I think you need to give Emily a break, Dad.” He finally says. “She did her best.”

“Jack, it’s complicated.”

“I know it is, but none of it was her fault.” Jack replies. “Or yours.” He adds quickly, not missing how Aaron’s hands grip the steering wheel a little tighter. Jack clears his throat, an admission leaving his lips before he even realises he was going to say it. “I made her cry once.”

He watches his father frown at that, a question on his face. “Jack?”

“I accused her of sleeping with Sam. I knew she wasn't. I also said she wasn’t my mom.” He says, reminding Aaron what he had overheard earlier. “I just wanted to hurt her so I felt better. It didn’t work.” Jack looks out the window, avoids looking at Aaron. “I think you and me have that in common.”

There is a pause, and Jack swears he hears his dad mutter something about therapy being worth every penny before he speaks loudly enough for him to actually hear. “How did you get so smart?”

Jack smiles at him, and for the first time since he heard Emily and his dad argue he feels relief in his chest. “I’ve had three pretty great parents.” _________________

The apartment is smaller than he imagined it being, the space not seeming enough for his wife and children to have lived in for so long.

It’s clearly been abandoned. There is food left out on the kitchen counter, toys scattered through the living room and he can imagine the panic Jack must have felt when Foyet walked in, claiming his parents were dead.

“It’s a shithole, huh?”

Aaron turns around to look at his son, raising an eyebrow at his turn of phrase, Jack’s only response being him holding his hands up in surrender. Aaron then spots something orange sticking out from under the couch. He bends down to get it, his sore ribs protesting the action, and he picks it up. The fur of the stuffed cat is slightly rougher than he remembered it being, another six months of being fiercely loved by Theo wearing it down slightly.

“Hi, Archie.” He says. “It’s been a while.” __________________

When Aaron and Jack get back, Archie tucked under her husband's arm, she’s reminded of when they left the toy on a plane years ago. Theo was so small then, Amelia not even something they had considered they could have.

“You went to the apartment?” She asks, a frown on her face. She hadn’t been sure what to expect when he had stormed out hours again, but this certainly wasn’t it.

“I wanted to see it.” He says it's like the most simple thing in the world. “Why don’t you go give this to Theo.” He hands over the stuffed cat and she nods, sneaking quietly into the room Jack and Theo were staying in and smiles when she sees her son fast asleep. She places Archie next to him and presses a gentle kiss to his forehead.

Emily turns when she hears noise behind her, and she sees Jack holding a sleeping Amelia in his arms, Aaron behind him with the portable crib the hospital had provided in his hands.

She frowns slightly. “What’s going on?”

“Jack said he’d take Amelia so we could talk.”

Emily turns to Jack. “Are you sure?”

Jack nods, placing his sister in the crib once Aaron sets it down. “Of course.”

She pulls him into a hug. “Thank you.”

They walk over to their room, making Jack promise to come get them if there is an issue with either Theo or Amelia. The door closes behind them and it’s instantly awkward, she stands in the middle of the room with her arms crossed over her chest, looking at anything except him.

“I’m sorry.” He speaks first. “I was out of line earlier.”

She looks at him. “I’m sorry too.” She swallows against the lump in her throat. “I hate this Aaron. I hate that this feels so awkward. It’s never been like this.”

“I hate it too.”

She takes a step towards him. “Then you need to tell me what you’re thinking. I’m a damn good profiler, but I can’t actually read minds.”

He smiles at her, closes the small gap between them and grabs her hand. “I killed a man.”

“I know you did.” She says softly, gripping his hand tighter.

“I didn’t have to kill him.” He says firmly, his voice emotionless. “I could have stopped, and I didn’t.”

“I know.” She repeats, and she smiles sadly at him when he looks at her. “I made Derek take me to see Foyet’s body when you were gone today.” He opens his mouth, words of what she is sure are anger about to spill out. “I needed to see him, Aaron. I had to see it for myself.”

He clenches his jaw tightly for a second before releasing it, nodding at her.

“I’d have done it too.” She says, running her thumb over the knuckles he fractured on Foyet’s teeth. “I’d have killed him. Without a second thought. It doesn’t make you like him.” She cups his cheek. “You are not the same as that man.”

He sighs at that, resting his forehead against hers. “He gave me the same scars as him.”

Emily feels like her breath stutters in her chest, the realisation that was what he had been thinking about all this time hitting her like a truck. “Aaron.”

He pulls back from her, completely removing himself from her grasp, and he unbuttons his shirt, revealing the pattern of scars on his chest. Mixed in with large purple and black bruises she knows are from the final showdown with Foyet.

There was some redness to the scars, raised and slightly puckered still, but she imagined they looked better than they once had. Not for the first time she wishes she had been there with him when he was healing, and she hates that he went through so much alone.

She reaches out and touches one of them, runs her finger over the healed skin. He flinches under her touch and she pulls her hand back.

“Em...”He looks away from her, as if shielding himself from her reaction. Like he had spent the last 6 months convincing himself that anything Foyet had done to him would make her love him less instead of more. It makes her want to go back to the morgue and get a couple good hits in herself, fiery protectiveness for the man who had given her everything licking at her insides. She gently reaches out for her husband instead. Tracing a finger softly over one of the scars before she looks up at him.

“Baby.” She puts a hand on each of his cheeks and makes him look at her, her thumbs tracing his cheekbones. She feels tears gathering in her eyes, and she shakes her head at him. “They don’t matter. I’m not looking at them and thinking of him. I just see you. Just like I always have.”

He stares at her for a moment, as if he is trying to gauge if she is telling the truth, and then he surges forward. His hand tight in the back of her hair as he kisses her fiercely, pouring half a year's worth of love into it.

Emily loses herself in it, letting herself be overwhelmed by the kisses he presses to her lips and down her neck, his hands wandering up the back of her shirt, spanning the whole of her back in a way she has spent months dreaming of. Her memory hadn’t served him justice and she has to choke back a moan as his thumbs graze past her breasts.

Her brain comes back online when he presses her into the bedroom wall, a laugh escaping her mouth as he sucks on her pulse point. “Aaron.” She pushes at him slightly, grabs his face in her hands and runs a thumb over his bottom lip. “Honey, we can’t do this. You’re injured.”

He turns his face to press a kiss to her palm. “Em, please. I just need to feel you.” He presses his lips to her throat and her eyes close, the heat climbing in her body overwhelming.

She wanted him too, so much. This final reaffirmation that they had lived, they’d survived something awful and somehow, by some miracle, still had each other.

“I want you too. So much.” She says, her hand travelling to the back of his neck. “But let's take it to the bed ok?” She pulls him forward to lean his forehead on hers and smiles against his lips. “I don’t think either of us are quite up for fucking against the wall tonight.”

He pulls her tighter to him, and leads her over to the bed without another word, taking her shirt off as he does so.

They lay on the bed together, hands exploring and rediscovering each other slowly. Peeling off their remaining clothes as they go. She feels like her body is on fire, his revenant touch making her shudder.

He sucks a bruise on her shoulder and she decides she’s had enough. Emily pushes him back onto his back and swings a leg over his lap, both of them groaning when she settles over his lap, a jolt of pleasure runnin through both of them. Aaron makes a move to sit up and she gently pushes him back down, linking her hands through his, their fingers intertwining.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” She whispers as she leans down purposely not leaning on his purple mottled skin, kissing him hard on his lips.

She sits back up and sinks onto him, almost biting through her lip to prevent herself from crying out at the feeling. She stays still for a second, allowing herself the chance to adjust, to enjoy the feeling. Then she starts to move. He sits up suddenly, wraps his arms around her and ignores her protests.

“It’s worth it.” He says into her neck, pressing kisses into her skin. “Always...always worth it.”

She nods, unable to argue with him. She moves her head back so she can kiss him, wrapping her arms around the back of his head as she does.

They fall apart together, swallowing each other's moans as they do. Emily rests her forehead against his, breathing heavily as she tries to regulate her emotions. Tears spring to her eyes before she can stop them, and a sob escapes her just as quickly.

“Oh, baby. It’s ok.” He says gently, hugging her to him. He kisses her forehead before pulling her head towards his chest. “You’re ok.”

“I missed you so much.” She cries against him, fingers clawing at his still sweaty back. “So fucking much.”

“I know, sweetheart.” He kisses the top of her head, feels his own tears flood his lash line. “I missed you too.” He strokes the back of her head, fingers tangling in her hair. “But I’m here. We’re here. It’s over.”

Emily pulls back from his embrace and he immediately cups her face, wipes away the tears on her cheeks despite the fact he knew they’d be instantly replaced. “It’s over.” She repeats back to him before resting her head against him again. “It’s really over.”

He nods, their foreheads clashing slightly. “I love you, Emily.”

She laughs, like it’s the most obvious thing he had ever said, and she palms his face, cupping his cheek. “I love you too.” __________________

She demands to go to the house the next day, just the two of them. He’s unsure at first, doesn’t know if it is a good idea. But she is insistent, and he has never been one to deny her. Elizabeth and John come back around to stay with the children, both Theo and Amelia hesitant to be separated from their mother. It had led to a lot of tears, some from Emily although she would deny it if he brought it up, but they left eventually, a promise that they wouldn’t be long hanging in the air.

Emily is out of the car and through their front door, crime scene tape was still hanging from the frame, before he even had the car parked up. He walks in after her and finds her sood in the doorway of their dining room.

“I used to love this house.” She says without turning to look at him, eyes fixed on their dining room floor where he had left Foyet’s body only three days beforehand. “It was the first place that ever felt like home to me.” She sniffs, the heel of her hand coming to her cheek to wipe away a tear that he can’t see. “I loved our apartment, it’s the place where we became us. But this is the house we bought to have a family in. Even though that never quite turned out the way we thought it would.”

“I’ve always loved it too.”

She looks at his knuckles, still swollen, cuts standing out against his skin. “Theo took his first steps here.” She looks back at the floor. “I’d always think about that when we had dinner as a family. How he shuffled out your lap and just started walking.” She bites her lip, chin wobbling as she remembers the moment that seems so long ago now. “Now all I can think about when I stand here is that you beat a man to death. Or that the last time I came home and I found our living room stained with your blood.”

“Em.”

“I’m not saying it’s your fault.” She finally looks at his face, takes one of his bruised hands in hers and delicately runs her thumb over his damaged knuckles. She sees the doubt in his eyes, the concern she had caused with their crossed words the day before and she's so mad at herself for it she could cry. “None of this is your fault.” She emphasises. “ I just don’t think we can live here anymore.”

He feels relief he wasn’t expecting, a tension he hadn’t realised was in his chest starts to fade at her words. His time alone in the house, and the events that had bookended it, had tainted it for him. The innocence that had once lived in the walls of their house, their sanctuary from the horrors they saw in their work, torn away. “Then we find somewhere else to live.”

She looks at him with curiosity in her eyes, and she tilts her head slightly at him. “You say it like it’s simple, finding somewhere we can call home.”

“Em,” He runs his hands up her arms, finally settling on her shoulders as he pulls her into a hug. “You and the kids are my home, you’re all I need.”

Emily holds him just as tightly. “You’re mine too. I think you always have been.”

__________________

One Month Later - December 2009

Amelia is standing on his thighs, hands squishing his cheeks when he gets the call. JJ’s name flashing across his screen automatically makes his heart drop. The last he’d heard from Emily they had caught the guy. His motivations for one of the murders were still unclear, and Emily was driving with one of the local detectives and the unsub to take him into custody.

She’d even commented that she would be home for putting the kids to bed on her first case back at work. She had asked Derek to take the lead for the first couple of cases back, so she could readjust to it after such a long time away.

He balances Amelia with one hand, the little girl still not quite able to stand completely by herself yet, and grabs his phone to answer it. “JJ, what’s wrong?”

“She’s ok.” JJ starts off, sounding unsure over the phone. “She said not to call, but I thought you’d want to know.”

“JJ, just tell me.”

JJ sighs, as if preparing herself for his reaction. “Emily’s been in a car accident.”

[sequinsmile-x]

If Tomorrow Starts Without Me

Chapter 8 is almost ready, and should be up over the next few days.

Thank you so much for your support with this story, knowing that you all care about this version of them as much as I do makes me feel all 🥰🥰

Teaser below the cut...

Aaron knows that if it was different, if it was Emily that Foyet had managed to lure to the house he’d kill her now. Not give him the chance to save her, make their last interaction after all their time together be over the phone as people listened in. With the children Foyet would want to make him feel like he had a chance, like he could have saved them. His final torment.

He would want to kill them with Aaron in the house.

[sequinsmile-x]

If Tomorrow Starts Without Me

Chapter 10 (the final chapter!!) is underway and should be published by the middle of next week.

So, for one final time for ITSWM, the teaser is below the cut <3 

Emily calls him only minutes after JJ, her name flashing on his phone screen making him immediately feel better. Relief flooding through his body as he abandons packing the bag on the bed so he can answer his phone. 

“I’m okay.” She says as a greeting, although she doesn’t sound it. He’s known and loved her long enough to know when she's in pain, even when he can’t actually see her. Aaron can hear the sound of the buzz of an emergency room around her. 

“Em. The car you were in was hit by a truck. You’re not okay.” 

She chuckles slightly, the sound dying on her lips, and then winces. “Okay, I’m not okay.” She admits. “My entire body hurts, but you don’t have to come here. I’ll be home as soon as we recapture him.” 

“I don’t know what you mean.” He says, feigning innocence.

“I know you’re already packing a bag and thinking of a way to get the kids to my parents.”

His eyes drift to the bag on the bed, hurriedly packed with things he hadn’t even really thought about as he shoved them in. She has known and loved him just as long as he has done the same for her, so it shouldn’t surprise him that she knows this would be his instinct, but it does.

Aaron thinks he could be married to her for 100 years and still be surprised by her.

[sequinsmile-x]

My train journey to my parents house took 7.5 hours so I wrote over 6k today.

So, in line with the chaos of today - Chapter 9 of ITSWM will be posted tonight.

It, much like my day has been, is a JOURNEY. So prepare yourselves 😬

[sequinsmile-x]

If Tomorrow Starts Without Me - Chapter 9

The next (penultimate!!) chapter is underway folks. It should be up within the next couple of days. 

Teaser under the cut...

Once she has Amelia in her arms she presses a kiss into the baby’s head, shushing her as she tries to calm her down. She doesn’t miss the pain on Aaron’s face when she looks back up at him, the way he frowns at her when she can almost instantly soothe their daughter when he hadn’t been able to. 

In the two days since they had been reunited they hadn’t addressed it, hadn’t acknowledged that Amelia didn’t recognise him. That he would have to start that relationship from scratch. 

“It will get better, Aaron.” Emily says, gently rocking the baby as she tries to soothe her back to sleep. “It will just take a bit of time.”

“Yeah.” He says simply, looking away. “I’m going to go make a drink.” He points towards the main suite. “Do you need anything?” 

She shakes her head, resists telling him that it’s 3am and they should just go back to bed now that the kids are settled again. “I’m ok, thanks.” She leans forward, closes the gap between them and presses a kiss to his cheek and ignores how he flinches away before he leaves the room. 

Emily settles Amelia back into her crib before she climbs into bed next to Theo. The little boy immediately seeks her out in his sleep, his hands digging into her pyjama shirt as he moulded himself against her. She wraps her arms around him and closes her eyes, hoping sleep would find her easily. 

When she wakes in the morning, Theo is still pressed close to her, and it’s clear Aaron’s side of the bed has not been slept in. 

[sequinsmile-x]

I am a super fan of Theo Hotchner so can I ask a short fan fic (not so short 😂😂😂😂) so fluffy about him and emily bc i love them omg

I will never be able to express how much it means to me that you guys love this version of them that I have created <3

Endless Days

Words: 2.3k

Warnings: None.

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut!

Let me know what you think

“Are you sure it’s ok if I go?”

Emily looks over at her husband, a fond smile on her face as she paces with Theo in her arms. The 8 month old baby was cranky, face bright red from his fever and his almost continuous crying. Emily was doing her best to soothe her son, her lips pressed against the side of his head as she shushes him, her hand running up and down his back.

“Aaron, you and Jack have been planning to go for months.” She says, continuing to pace their bedroom as she tries to get their baby off to sleep. “We’ll be ok for a few days.”

He nods but still looks unsure, his eyes fixed on Theo as the little boy allbut tries to crawl under his mother’s skin. Wanting to be as close to her as possible, seeking out the comfort only she could give him.

“It’s only 3 days, honey.” Emily says, walking over to Aaron and resting a hand on his arm. “We’ll be ok.” She leans up to kiss him, her bare feet highlighting their slight height difference. “It’s important for Jack. And you.”

She was the one who found out about the camp, a 3 day residential trip for young children who had lost someone close to them. Designed to help them process their grief, and provide their parents with advice on how to help them through it. Aaron was going with him, and Emily hoped they’d both gain something from it, both of them still floundering at times with the hole Haley had left in their lives. A wound Emily knew would never completely heal, but was something they could, and slowly were, rebuilding their lives around.

Jack was more open with it. Storming into the house and up to his room crying, only for Emily to find a slip in his school bag about preparations for Mother’s Day. He had struggled when Emily went back to work after having Theo, overly anxious when she was away for days at a time. The relief on his face when she walked back into the house was as palpable as his hugs were tight.

Aaron struggled. Grief for a woman who had long since left him behind, her sudden departure not long before their would-be wedding tainting all the memories that came before it. Her reappearance and the circumstances around it made it even harder on him.

He admitted to Emily once, wrapped around his wife in their bed as they watched Theo sleep, that he felt like he didn’t deserve to mourn Haley. That he was happy, that he loved Emily and had done for years, and somehow that made missing Haley as much as he did feel wrong.

“Ok, but call if anything gets worse?” He says, finally putting the shirt in his hands in the bag on their bed.

“You won’t have any cell service.” She reminds him, looking down to see Theo had finally fallen asleep in her arms. “It will be fine.” She presses a kiss against Aaron’s cheek. “Now hurry up, Jack is probably waiting by the door.”

Emily walks to Theo’s nursery and lays him down, gently closing the door behind her as she leaves, baby monitor in hand as she descends the stairs. She smiles as she sees Jack excitedly standing by the front door, his bag packed as he waits for Aaron.

“Are you excited, Jack?” She asks, placing the baby monitor down as she approaches him.

Jack nods, practically vibrating with a mix of nerves and excitement. “Is Dad almost ready?”

“He’s just coming now.”

“Is Theo ok?” He asks with a frown on his face, eyebrows furrowing.

“He’ll be ok sweetheart I promise.” Emily answers reassuringly, knowing as soon as anyone even sniffed around him Jack panicked. Concerns that something was seriously wrong almost paralysing him with fear, a hangover from Haley’s illness and subsequent death that Emily hoped would fade with time.

“Are you sure?” He asks, avoiding eye contact. Emily closes the distance between them and tilts his chin so he’s looking up at her.

“Have I ever lied to you before?” She says gently, smiling when his response is a shake of his head. “He’ll be back to normal when you get back, crawling all over you whilst you try to play your video games.”

“We don’t have to go.” Jack murmurs as he hugs her, his face buried in her shirt. Emily holds him tightly, her heart cracking in her chest at his suggestion. Love flooding through her for this sweet little boy and the woman who raised him by herself for the first 9 years of his life.

“That’s very sweet, Jack.” She says, kissing the top of his head and running her fingers through his hair. “But we’ll be ok.” She pulls back and looks at him, his face cupped in her hands. “You and Dad should go have fun, ok?”

He nods in response and she smiles, pulling him back in for a hug as she hears Aaron walking down the stairs. Emily hugs them both as they leave, finding herself missing them almost as soon as the door closes behind them.

Theo’s cries crackle down the baby monitor, making her sigh as she turns away from the front door.

“I’m coming baby.”

_______

She hardly sleeps. Theo’s fever briefly got worse overnight, and she was only able to get it down by putting him in a lukewarm bath. He was too uncomfortable to sleep, the baby tylenol she gave him barely taking the edge off.

By the time she gets to the BAU she’s exhausted. Her son in her arms after his daycare refused to take him, meaning she had no choice but to take him to work with her and hope he’d sleep in her office.Emily readjusts Theo on her hip as the elevator doors open. The little boy coughs and grumbles, burying his face into his mother’s neck.

“I know, honey.” She placates, kissing the top of his head as she walks through the glass doors of the bullpen.

“Starting him off young in the family business, Prentiss?” Derek asks, a smirk on his face as she walks past his desk. Emily scoffs in response.

“No. Aaron is away and his daycare won’t take him because he’s got a temperature. So he’s Mommy’s assistant today, huh?” She directs the last bit to Theo, bouncing him slightly to try and make him smile. The 8 month old buries his face into her neck again, the heat of his forehead against her skin making her worry, she looks back at Derek with an apologetic look on her face. “He’s grouchy when he’s sick.”

“I wonder where he gets that from.” Derek says, clearing his throat as Emily raises an eyebrow at him. “Obviously I mean Hotch.”

“Nice save.” Emily deadpans as she moves past him, walking up the stairs to her office.

_______

“I heard we had a visitor today!”

Emily looks up at the sound of Penelope’s voice, her excitable friend standing at her office door, her hands clasped together. She smiles at her before looking back to her son who was cuddled up in her lap, his hands occupied by a toy she had managed to distract him with. Emily had one hand securing him to her, and the other filling out paperwork, the process taking much longer than it usually would.

“He’s too sick for daycare.” Emily explains, she hesitates for a second before looking back at her friend. “I have a meeting and I-”

“Of course I’ll take him.” Penelope says, not even waiting for Emily to ask the question. She walks into the office with her hands stretched out, joy written all over her face.

“Are you sure?” Emily says, kissing her son’s head as she relinquished her grip on him. “He’s really grumpy, he might give you a hard time.”

“If I can put up with Derek’s mood swings I can handle anything this delicious little thing might throw at me.” Penelope says, lifting the baby into her arms. Theo grumbles, reaching back out for Emily almost immediately. “You come by when you’re done. Little Teddy Bear and I will be hanging out in my office.”

An hour and a half later Emily walks into Penelope’s office to find her son giggling at something the other woman was doing and she can’t help but smile, grateful that her little boy had so many people in his life who loved him.

_______

Emily yawns as she paces her bedroom, Theo wailing in her arms. She looks over at the clock on her nightstand and sees it’s 3am and she sighs.

“I know, sweet boy.” She murmurs against his forehead, her hand running up and down his back. “You’ll feel better soon I promise.”

She finally manages to get him to sleep again, a silent promise to herself that she’d call the pediatrician in the morning if he wasn’t any better. She briefly considers calling Aaron, but remembers he’d have no service, that any missed calls he’d see if they came through would do nothing but panic him unnecessarily.

She settles Theo down on Aaron’s side of the bed before laying down herself, settling under the covers and scooping her son back into her arms, the little boy snuggled against her chest.

She sleeps fitfully, thankful when morning comes and Theo’s temperature is closer to normal than it has been in days.

She successfully ignores the pounding in her own head that she wakes up with, the way she can’t quite stay warm.

_______

The house is quiet when Aaron and Jack get home, both tired from the weekend they’d had. Aaron locks the door behind them as they walk in, their bags dumped on the floor just inside the foyer.

Aaron smiles as he looks over at his son, the young boy trying to suppress a yawn.

“Go straight to bed, buddy.” He says, smiling as Jack nods without argument, making a move to walk upstairs before turning and giving Aaron a hug, his arms tight around his middle.

“I had fun, Dad.”

“Me too, Jack.” He squeezes Jack tightly before letting go. “Now go to bed.”

“Love you.” Jack says, turning to walk upstairs.

“Love you too, Jack.”

Aaron puts their bags in the laundry room, knowing Emily well enough to know she’d complain about the smell of campfire immediately in the morning, and makes his way upstairs. He smiles when he walks into his bedroom, finding Emily and Theo curled up together in their bed, neither quite asleep but most of the way there.

“Hey.” Emily croaks, her voice cracking.

“Hey.” He replies, moving to sit on her side of the bed. He puts his hand on her forehead and winces at the heat coming off of it.

“I’m glad you’re home.” She says, batting his hand away. “I missed you.” She scratches her fingers down his cheeks, catching on the stubble that had formed whilst he was gone. “I like the beard.”

“Jack hates it.” He catches her hand and kisses her palm. “I missed you too, how are you both?”

“I’m fine.” She says, looking down at a now sleeping Theo on her chest. “Theo is mostly better, just a little bit of a cough now.”

“Em.” He raises an eyebrow at her, and she frowns at him.

“What?”

“You clearly have whatever he had.”

“What? No, I'm ok.” She says, trying and failing to cover a sniff.

“Sweetheart, you’re pale even for you.” He laughs when she pushes her knee into his thigh, his hand coming to rest on the joint over the bed covers. “You’ve got a temperature, you sound like you’ve swallowed a razor blade and you haven’t even complained about the smell of campfire so I’m assuming you can’t smell me.”

She narrows her eyes at him. “Fine, yes. I don’t feel 100%.”

He leans forward and kisses the top of her head, a smile against her hairline, before he pulls back. He eases Theo off of her, kissing his son as he settles him into his arms.

“I’ll go put him down, then I’ll shower quickly and come lay with you.” He says, giving Emily a moment to kiss Theo goodnight before he stands up.

He gets Theo down without any fuss, the baby staying asleep as he is taken to his own room. Aaron puts his head into Jack’s room and sees that the boy is already fast asleep, face pressed into his pillow as he snores.

Emily is sleeping when he gets back into their bedroom, and he quickly showers before joining her in bed. She wakes as he settles behind her, and she turns to curl into his arms, her feverish skin pressed up against him.

“Did you have fun?” She asks, her nose buried into his neck, as if she was seeking out his scent even though she was congested.

“It was good, Jack enjoyed it. Made a lot of friends.” He strokes up and down her back, his hand finding its way under a shirt that used to be his. “You should probably stay home tomorrow.”

“I’ll be ok. You’re here now.”

Aaron smiles, knowing the time to argue would be the morning when she’d insist on going to work when she could barely move.

“I really did miss you, it was only a couple days. But not being able to talk at all made it feel like forever.” He says quietly, almost whispering so he doesn't make the headache he assumes she has worse.

“I know.” She mumbles, half asleep. “No more going places where we can’t call each other.” She buries herself deeper into his embrace. “Never again.”

“Never again.”

[sequinsmile-x]

Day-to-Day

Emily is the glue that holds the family together, aka five times the Hotchner family needed Emily.

A story in the “5 times + 1″ format.  

Part of the Whatever Tomorrow Brings universe.

Chapter 1 - Amelia. 

Read on AO3 via this link, or below the cut

March 2010

Aaron wakes to his bed being empty. He rubs his eyes, trying to remove the last remnants of sleep, and he turns to check the alarm clock, groaning when he sees it’s 3am. He touches the other side of the bed and feels that the sheets are cold, indicating that his wife had been gone for some time. Amelia had been off the evening before, their usually happy baby grouchy and sleepy. Which was always the first sign that she was coming down with something. Theo had been ill the week before, a bug he’d picked up from school, and Aaron had naively hoped they’d managed to avoid it being passed on to the youngest Hotchner.

He sits on the side of the bed and spots light filtering out from under the ensuite door. He walks over, opening the door to find his wife laying back in the bath, Amelia dozing on her chest. Emily looks tired, a small smile on her face when she spots him. “Hey.” She rasps out, staying quiet so she doesn't wake their daughter.

“Hey, sweetheart.” Aaron walks in and kneels on the floor next to the bath. “Everything ok?”

“She woke up about an hour ago, she had a fever. I thought a lukewarm bath might bring it down, but she started to cry every time I tried to put her in here herself.” Emily says gently, placing a hand on Amelia’s forehead. “It’s come down a bit.”

“You should have woken me up.” He says, placing a hand on their daughter's back. “I’d have helped.”

“It’s ok, honey.” She says placing her hand over his. “You need your sleep, work has been rough on you lately.”

“Right.” He says, with a raised eyebrow. “Because your job is a piece of cake.” Aaron links their fingers and runs a thumb over her knuckles. “You don’t have to do it all on your own anymore, Em. I’m here now. We’re all here.”

She purses her lips together and nods at him. It was still her instinct sometimes to try and do it all by herself, especially anything to do with the kids. Memories of those months spent alone waiting for Foyet to be stopped were sharp, and sometimes it still took her breath away. How close they had come to losing everything.

“Can you take her?” She asks softly. “She should be fine for now.”

“Of course.” He lifts the toddler off of his wife's chest and wraps her in a towel. Amelia wakes almost immediately, grumbling at being removed from her mother. “Let’s go get you dressed sweetie.”

He takes Amelia to the nursery and puts a fresh diaper on her, and a thin sleepsuit. He frowns at the warmth still on her skin, and soothes her when she starts to cry again. “I know what you want, you want Mommy.” He lifts Amelia into his arms and kisses her forehead. “I don’t blame you, I always want her when I feel sick too.”

Emily is already in bed dressed in one of his shirts when he walks back into their bedroom. Amelia immediately reaches out for Emily, the little girl's face already scrunched up as she cries. He passes Amelia over, lets his wife take him into her arms. “Mama.”

“You’re ok, sweet girl.” Emily says, running a hand over the back of her daughter’s head. She kisses her forehead and frowns. “It’s gone down, but she’s still warm.”

“We’ll call the doctor if she’s still got a temperature in the morning.” He says. Emily nods, settling Amelia so she is resting against her chest. The little girl's favorite place to sleep when she was sick or sad. “Sweetheart, you aren’t going to get any sleep if she’s in here.”

“I know.” She replies, soothing the small coughs coming out of Amelia by rubbing her back. “I’ll get someone to drop some case files and paperwork here tomorrow, work from here until she’s better.”

“And if you get a case?”

She glares at him. “Then I’m sure the team can handle it without me. It’s not like they haven’t before.”

“Sweetheart-”

“I’m not leaving her if she’s sick, Aaron.” She says, her voice firm. “She only settles for me if she’s sick and I’m not putting either of you through that.”

He knew his wife somehow felt responsible for his delicate relationship with his daughter. Things were better now, so much better, but he couldn’t say it didn’t hurt when Ameila, or any of their kids, immediately reached for Emily when something was wrong. The six months they had spent alone together had formed a bond he loved, but that he was also, in his worst moments, jealous of.

He wants to argue, wants to say that eventually something would happen with one of the kids when she wasn’t there, but he knows this isn’t the time. That it can wait until it isn’t almost 4am and she has their feverish daughter pressed against her.

“It’s a good thing your boss is so understanding.”

Emily smiles at him. “Well, I do repay his understanding with blow jobs so I think it’s earned.” _________________

May 2024

Ameila was Emily through and through. It was something Aaron, and just about everyone they knew, said frequently. She looked like Emily. She had her nose, her dark eyes and hair, and the same smile that had always been able to convince Aaron to do just about anything. Amelia had inherited her fathers jawline and his seriousness, her frown, a pure ‘Hotch’ look that Penelope had often joked would serve her well in whatever she decided to do in the future.

She also had Emily’s attitude. A need to know everything, to push all the boundaries around her, that often drove Aaron to the edge of his sanity in a way neither of his sons ever had. Elizabeth often commented on how similar Amelia and Emily were, and he never missed the way she smirked at him when she said it.

Emily was fiercely protective of Amelia. Aaron knew it was because their daughter was the only one of their kids who didn’t remember the incident with Foyet. She was so small when it happened, only a few months old when her family was torn apart by the actions of a psychopath, and they were grateful for it. Jack and Theo still bore the scars of what happened, years of therapy had done them wonders, but it still surfaced at times, almost unexpectedly. Leading to Theo calling in the middle of the night, the now 21 year old plagued by nightmares that his mother was dead, only calmed down by the sound of her tired voice over the phone.

The first time Amelia really pushes the boundaries with her parents is when she comes home one day with her nose pierced. The ring in her nose was massive, big enough to allow for the swelling that would follow, drawing her parents attention to it immediately.

“What the hell is that in your nose?” Aaron asks, annoyance clear in his tone.

“It’s a nose ring, Dad.” Amelia answers, her eyes rolling as she hangs her keys up. “I got it done after school.”

“And who said you could do that?”

“It’s my nose. I didn’t realise I needed permission.”

“Ok.” Emily interrupts, placing a hand on her husband's arm to try and diffuse the situation. “I think what your dad is trying to say is that you should run this stuff past us, ok?”

Amelia scoffs. “Well it’s your nose I inherited, surely you understand why I wanted to do something to it.” She walks past her parents and goes up the stairs before the conversation can go any further. “I have homework.”

_________________

Aaron walks into their en-suite later that night to find Emily standing in front of the mirror scrutinising her appearance. He leant against the doorframe and watched as she turned her head side to side, running her finger down the slope of her nose. Her eyebrows furrowed as she looked at herself straight on again, her finger pressed into the tip.

“Em?”

She turns to look at him, taking her hand away from her nose as she does. He doesn’t miss the shy look on her face as she wrung her hands together. “Do you think my nose is weird?”

He frowns at her. “What? No.”

“I know it’s ridiculous. I’m 53 for fuck sake.” She mutters to herself.

He kisses the tip of her nose and she smiles at him. “You’re beautiful.”

“And you’re ridiculous.” She wraps her arms around him anyway, pulling him in for a kiss. “It will look better when she can switch to a smaller ring.”

“It will look better when she just takes it out.”

Emily laughs, shaking her head at him. “Come on, let's go to bed. Some of us have work in the morning.”

He raises an eyebrow at her as he always did when she referred to his early retirement, even though it had been years since he left the FBI. “Whatever you want, sweetheart.”

_________________

The casual mention of a boyfriend, a boy from Amelia’s art class called Chase, almost sends Aaron orbital. He manages to keep his opinions to himself until Amelia has gone to bed and he’s just in the kitchen with his wife, helping her with the dishes even though it was long ago established as her chore since she never cooked.

“She’s not that bad, Aaron.”

He scoffs at his wife. “She’s going to make me go grey.”

“Honey. Amelia is a teenage girl. A pretty well behaved one in comparison to what I was like.”

“Suddenly I feel a lot more sympathy for Elizabeth than I ever have before.” He mutters as he continues to put dishes away.

“What was that?” She raises an eyebrow at him.

“Nothing, sweetheart.”

She narrows her eyes at him as she passes him another plate, patting his cheek with her spare hand. “You’re already grey, Aaron. It’s got nothing to do with the fact our daughter has a boyfriend. Or a nose ring.” _________________

Emily finally loses her cool two weeks later. They are eating dinner, just her, Amelia and Aaron, when she spots something on her daughter's wrist as she reaches for more salad. Emily grabs Amelia’s arm and pulls her sleeve back slightly to reveal a, admittedly very small, heart tattoo onto her daughter’s wrist. It was crude, slightly wonky and clearly not a professional one.

“What the hell is this?” She asks, staring her daughter down.

Amelia tears her arm out of her mother’s grasp and pulls her sleeve back down. “It’s a tattoo, Mom.”

“A tattoo? When did that happen?” Emily looks over at Aaron, who to her annoyance looked slightly amused that she was finally reacting like he had been all along.

“We did them at school.” Amelia answers, taking another bite of her dinner.

Emily’s initial reaction of telling her daughter how dangerous that was, how stupid, was drowned out by her overriding fear of who exactly had done this. “What do you mean ‘we’?”

“Chase and I did them. We have matching ones.” Amelia says, looking at her mother with a challenge on her face. “I don’t see what the big deal is Mom, you have tattoos.”

Emily glares at her husband when he chokes out a laugh at that, and he quickly excuses himself from the table. She turns back to her daughter. “Amelia, it really wasn’t very safe to do that. You have to let professionals do this kind of thing.”

Amelia rolls her eyes as she takes the final bite of her dinner. “Whatever.” She gets up from the table, already half out of the dining room before she speaks again. “I need to go FaceTime Chase.”

Emily puts her head in her hands as soon as she is alone. Her daughter was too much like her for her own good, independent and wilful almost to a fault. Emily loved that Amelia was like that, that she was so sure of herself in a way that Emily certainly hadn’t been at her age. She took it as a testament to her and Aaron’s parenting, but right now she was struggling with it. She just wanted to sit Amelia down and tell her that not everyone in the world had her best intentions at heart, and Emily had an increasingly sinking feeling that Chase was one of those people.

She blows out a breath and stands up, starting to collect the dishes from the evening meal. Emily hears her husband re-enter the room. “I’m going to get her some antiseptic cream to put on it. Who the hell knows where they got the needle they did it with from.”

“Emily-”

“She gave herself a matching tattoo with her boyfriend, Aaron.” She says, putting the dishes she had been holding back down on the dining room table. “They’ve been together for 8 weeks.”

He steps towards her and places his hands on her hips. “What was it you told me last week? That it will work itself out eventually.”

“She thinks she loves him, honey.” Emily lamented, allowing her husband to pull her into his arms. “And I know he’s going to break her heart.”

Aaron kisses her. “Sweetheart, we can’t protect her from that.” He kisses her again, cupping her cheek with his hand. “All we can do is be here for her if it happens.”

Emily rests her forehead on his chest. “Now who's being annoying ok about all of this?”

_________________

“This is where I found out I was pregnant with you.” Emily says offhandedly, a wistful smile on her face. It was so long ago now, but she still remembered the joy she had felt when she first saw Amelia on screen. The baby she had always been told she couldn’t have was now this amazing person she couldn’t imagine her life without.

Emily looks at her daughter when she doesn’t get a response, and she stops herself from laughing when she sees how pointedly Amelia is ignoring her. “Oh really, Mom?” She says to herself. “That’s so interesting.”

“Mom, I cannot believe you are doing this.” Amelia seethes, looking at the floor of the clinic they were in. Embarrassment coming off of her in waves. “This is so embarrassing.”

Emily rolls her eyes, and bites back a comment about how if she found birth control embarrassing then she should think twice about having sex. “I just want you to be safe, ok? You’ve got a boyfriend now and whilst I am not exactly delighted at the idea of you having sex.” She says, not missing how her daughter grimaces. “I don’t want you to take any chances.”

“Amelia Hotchner?”

Emily and Amelia look up to see Joanne standing at the door to her office looking expectantly at them. Emily smiles at her, Amelia does not, and the latter sighs as she stands up. She takes a few steps towards Joanne, only pausing when she realises her mother isn’t following her.

“Well you may as well come in. This was your idea after all.” Amelia says, annoyance colouring her tone. Emily sees past it, spotting the way her daughter nervously wrings her hands, fingers digging at her cuticles in a way she had picked up from her.

“Of course, sweetie.” She stands and walks up to her daughter, and guides her into Joanne’s office with a gentle hand on her back.

_________________

“You did what??” Aaron asks, seething, as they get ready for bed side by side in their ensuite. He turns to her, a disbelieving look on his face.

“I took her to get birth control.” Emily answers around her toothbrush, spitting into the sink. She rinses it and places it next to his in the holder.

“Why?” He is glaring at her, and she's suddenly more glad than ever that she hadn’t broached this subject with him until after Amelia had a packet of pills sitting in her bathroom cabinet, with very explicit instructions on the importance of taking it correctly from both Emily and Joanne. “Is she sleeping with him?”

“I don’t even know if she is having sex yet. But you know these things happen. I bought the boys condoms when they were teenagers.” She purposely misses out that she had also bought Amelia condoms, thinking that admission might make her husband's head explode. “I wanted to make sure she takes precautions if she takes that step.”

“She’s 15, Emily.”

“Yeah, and so was I.” She closes her eyes and sighs, turning to look at her husband as she crosses her arms across her chest. She looks at him and bites her lip, trying to figure out what she’s been wanting to say. “Aaron, I just don’t want what happened to me to happen to her.”

Emily can see the moment it registers in his head. The way his brow unfurls, his whole body unclenching as the anger seeps out of him, replaced by concern for her. He takes a step towards her. “Sweetheart…”

She shakes her head at herself, wiping a stray tear away that had fallen at the admission. “She deserves better than that.”

He sighs as he drags her into a hug, one she gladly returns, wrapping her arms around his back. “You deserved better than that too.”

Emily buries her face into his neck, breathes in the scent of him that had comforted her for more than half her life. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” _________________

Three days later it becomes a non issue. Amelia is out with friends, and Chase, leaving Aaron and Emily with the house to themselves.

Emily is sitting in her husband's lap on their couch. His hands up her shirt and his tongue in her mouth, when she hears it. A car door slamming on edge of her consciousness, someone running up the steps of their porch. She pulls back from Aaron, the dazed look on his face surely matching the one on her own. “Did you hear that?” She breathes out.

They hear a key in the door and break apart like they’ve burnt each other, both standing as the front door opens.

Amelia bursts in, tears streaming down her face. She drops her bag at the front door, her school things abandoned in the foyer of their home, and as soon as her eyes land on Emily her face crumbles. The steady stream of tears turning into sobs. “Mom.”

“Amelia?” She closes the gap between them, concern for her daughter overriding anything else, any lingering hopes she had of alone time with her husband gone in an instant. Amelia is in her arms in seconds, clawing at her shirt to try and get as close as possible. She buries her face into Emily’s shoulder and weeps. Emily cups the back of her daughter’s head, and runs her other hand up and down her back. “Oh sweetheart, it’s ok.” She soothes. “You’ll be ok.”

Emily exchanges a concerned look with Aaron over the top of their daughter's head and she shakes her head at him slightly when he takes a step towards them, silently asking him to leave it to her. He understands, just like he always had, and leaves them to it despite wanting to know exactly what has upset Amelia this much.

“Mia, honey.” She says gently, hand still tangled in her daughter's dark hair. She tries to pull back slightly, cupping Amelia’s cheek, but she holds on to her tighter, sobs still tearing out of her throat. “Let’s move over to the couch, ok?”

Amelia nods against her but doesn’t separate herself from her mother at all. Emily carefully guides her over to the couch and sits down. Amelia curls into her, wrapping herself around her in a way she hadn’t done in years. Emily wraps her arms around her, and whispers random words of comfort into her daughter's hair.

“Sweetheart.” She says gently, pulling away enough that she can cup Amelia’s face in her hands. She wipes tears away from her cheeks with her thumbs. “You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong, not until you’re ready, but I need to know if you’re hurt.”

Amelia shakes her head. “Not hurt.” She says, her words choked by her tears. She leans back into Emily, pressing her face into her neck.

“Ok, sweet girl.” Emily says the old nickname, one she hadn’t used since Amelia was 9 and turned her nose up at it, slipping out without thinking. She presses a kiss on her daughter's head. “I’m right here.”

It takes almost 30 minutes for Amelia to calm down, for her sobs to dissipate into sniffs and a hoarseness in her throat as she takes in ragged breaths. “He broke up with me.”

Emily frowns, holding her daughter impossibly tighter. “What?”

“Chase broke up with me.” Amelia says, pulling back so she could look at Emily properly. “He said I was boring.”

Emily covers her reaction to that, keeping her surprise away from her face. Boring was not a word she would have ever used to describe Amelia. She tucks some of Amelia’s hair behind her ear. “I’m so sorry, baby. I know you really liked him.”

Amelia snuggles back down into her, sniffing as she lays her head on Emily's shoulder. Emily runs her hand through her daughter's hair, soothing her as she finishes calming down. “What do you want to do?” Emily asks. “We could get Dad to go out and get Taco Bell.”

Amelia chokes out a laugh but shakes her head. “I think I just want to go to bed.”

“Whatever you want.” _________________

Aaron is pacing their bedroom when she enters it, softly closing the door behind her. He stops and looks at her, an expectant look on his face.

“He broke up with her.” Emily says. “She is heartbroken.” She hears how her own voice breaks as she tells him. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen her like that.” She shakes her head at herself. “The worst thing is when she told me what happened I felt relieved. She’s sitting there absolutely hysterical and I’m relieved?”

Aaron closes the distance between them and hugs her. “You’re a fantastic mom, Em. I won’t let you believe anything other than that.”

She chokes out a laugh, somehow still surprised after all these years that he was able to guess what was really bothering her without her saying it outloud. “You’re a pretty great dad yourself, Mr Hotchner.” Emily lets herself relax in her husband’s embrace for a little longer, she pulls back and looks up at him. “I’m going to go in and sleep with her tonight.”

“Ok, sweetheart.” He kisses her quickly before letting her go so she can get ready for bed. He watches as she pulls on pyjama pants and a soft t-shirt that once belonged to him.

Aaron admires his wife as she takes off her makeup from the day and puts her dark hair up, smiling as he catches sight of some grey flecks that she hates as she twists it into a bun. She never believes him when he says it, but he thinks she's more beautiful now than she was when they first met all those years ago. Emily had always been beautiful, from the 22 year old she was when they first met. Teasing smiles and flirty comments as she coaxed him out to a bar with her.

Emily always lamented aging, wondering where the time had gone. More self conscious now than she had been the entire time he had known her. All he saw in lines on her face that she thought made her look old was all the laughter and joy they’d had over the years. She was softer now, her hips wider, evidence that she had given him two of their children that made him find her even more attractive. The grey flecks in her hair, that he knew she’d get dyed again soon, that showed him just how long they had loved each other.

They had been together 31 years and sometimes Aaron felt every moment of it, every single thing that had happened to them since she kissed him at one of her mother’s events. It somehow also had passed in the blink of an eye, decades gone in seconds and he was still somehow lucky enough to have her by his side.

“You’re staring.” She says, pulling him out of his thoughts with an amused look on her face and a teasing tone to her voice.

He pulls her into his arms again, kisses her cheek, then her nose. Making her laugh as she tries to squirm away from him. “You’re beautiful.”

Emily rolls her eyes at him. “You’re ridiculous.” _________________

Ameila smiles shakily at her mother as she walks into her room. Emily walks over to her bed and climbs in on the spare side, settling down for the night. She lays on her side and looks at Amelia, tucking some hair behind her ear. “How are you doing, sweetie?”

Amelia sniffs, suppressing a sarcastic laugh. “I’ve been better.” She settles into her mother’s side, resting her head on her shoulder. In the darkness of her bedroom, with Emily’s arms wrapped tightly around her, she finally feels like she can admit the truth. “It’s because I wouldn’t have sex with him.”

“What do you mean?”

Amelia closes her eyes as she catches the tone in her mother’s voice, the dangerous edge to it that she was so rarely on the receiving end of. She had only ever really overheard it when she was talking to someone about work over the phone, or one the rare occasion her parents had a full blown row, their angry voices soon turning into other noises that Amelia thanked whoever was listening for the invention of noise cancelling headphones.

“That’s why he broke up with me.” Amela says, feeling tears build back up in her eyes. “Because I wouldn’t sleep with him.”

She feels her mother’s hold on her tighten, and the sharp intake of breath that she takes beneath her head. Emily kisses the top of her head. “You’re ok, sweetheart. Go to sleep.”

Amelia drifts off to the feel of her mother stroking her hair, something she hadn’t had happen since she was younger. She was surprised to realise how much she had missed it, regret for how she had started to rebuff her mother’s affection a few years back building in her chest. “I love you, Mom.”

“I love you too.” Another kiss to the top of her head. “Now get some sleep.”

She falls asleep, completely unaware of how Emily laid awake for hours, anger for a teenage boy she had only met once burning through her veins until she came up with a plan. _________________

Emily wakes in the morning to the sound of Amelia’s door opening. She opens her eyes to see her husband standing there, a takeout coffee holder in his hand, and an unsure look on his face.

She smiles at him as she sits up in bed and beckons him in. He switches the light on, which immediately wakes Amelia, her groans the first indication that she was up.

“Morning, sweetheart.” Aaron says kissing his wife before sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Morning.” She murmurs against his lips, before lifting the coffee she knew was intended for her. Cold brew with enough sweetener in it to rot your teeth.

“You guys suck.” Amelia groans from below the comforter, voice still thick with sleep.

Emily chuckles. “I think you’ll change your mind when you see what your dad has brought you.”

Amelia lifts the comforter from off of her face and shoots up when she sees her favourite frappuccino in her fathers hands. “Dad, you are the best.” She takes a sip and moans, the sugar hitting her tongue. “No wonder Mom has put up with you so long.”

Aaron laughs, glad to see that she seemed her usual self after how devastated she had been the night before. “Are you ok, Mia?”

She smiles at her dad, a shaky thing that was always the first indicator from his wife and daughter that tears were on the horizon. “I will be.” ______________

Emily’s first thought is to set Penelope on Chase. Let her hack into his social media accounts and digitally ruin his life for upsetting her little girl. For trying to pressure her into something she didn’t want to do. She knew Penelope would do it without a second thought. She was the most trusted confidant of all of the younger Hotchner's outside of their parents. Jack had asked for her help planning his over the top proposal to his now wife. Theo had come out to her first, a nervous teenager in her office asking for help on how he could tell his parents. Amelia went to her for advice on everything from boys to elaborate hairstyles, and Penelope gently discouraged her from dying her hair bright purple when she was 13, knowing it would have given Aaron an aneurysm.

Emily was finishing getting ready for work, Amelia already on her way to school, as she started to formulate a text to her friend, a cryptic request to come see her as soon as she got to work, when Aaron snuck up on her in the kitchen.

“You can’t get Penelope to ruin his life.”

Emily jumps, cursing under her breath. “Damn it, Aaron.” She turns to look at him, a sheepish look on her face. “I wasn’t planning on doing anything of the sort.”

“Oh really?” He raises an eyebrow at her. “You weren’t thinking of having her hack all of his social media accounts and freeze his bank account?”

Emily flushes and puts her phone down on the counter. “I can’t just let him get away with it.”

Aaron smiles at her and pulls her towards him with his hands on her hips. “Baby, this is something we have to let her deal with ok?” He kisses her cheek, his smile deepening as she narrows her eyes at him. “No getting Penelope involved.”

“Fine.”

Plan B it was. _________________

Emily is never happier than when she has all of her family in her house. The boys were coming round for dinner, Jack and his wife Sara and Theo and his new boyfriend Zach, someone he had met at college. Theo texted her that morning, a list of strict instructions of things that absolutely couldn’t happen the first time Zach was meeting the family.

She had just let them in, hugging her son fiercely as he walked in and feeling love bloom in her chest when he hugged her back just as tightly, no embarrassment at giving his mother this affection in front of Zach.

She lets him go and turns to the young man standing next to her son. “You must be Zach, I’m Emily.”

He shakes her hand, a nervous smile on his face. “Nice to meet you.”

Amelia bursts into the house, slamming the front door behind her, and immediately breaks the first rule on Theo’s list. “Мама, какого хрена?”

“Не сейчас, милая. У нас гости. И не ругайся.” Emily replies, tilting her head towards where Theo and Zach were standing.

“Ты должен был подумать об этом, прежде чем угрожать моему бывшему парню!”

Zach leans in to Theo, a confused look on his face. “Are they speaking Russian?”

Theo sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose as he did so, and looks at his boyfriend. “Yes.” He turns to his mother. “Ne pouvons-nous pas le faire? C'est la première fois que Zach rencontre tout le monde.”

Amelia rolls her eyes and Emily smiles at Theo. “Je suis désolé, chérie. On va bien se comporter.”

“Are you speaking French?” Zach asks, looking even more confused at the complete nonchalonce all of the Hotchner’s were showing at the multiple languages being thrown around as if it was nothing. The slight look of amusement on Aaron’s face as he walked into the room. “How many languages does your mom speak?”

Theo grabs his boyfriend's hand and leads him further into the house, away from the rest of the family. “Six. Seven if you include English.” _________________

Emily eyes Sara curiously when she turns down wine with her dinner, a small look passes between her and Jack when she asks for soda instead. Emily shares a similar look with her own husband, a look on his face saying he had spotted what she had too, and she gladly gets an alternative drink for her daughter-in-law.

Amelia sulks all the way through dinner. Rebuffing her brother’s questions about school, a glare fixed on her mother almost the entire time. It’s when she refuses her favourite dessert, cheesecake, that her brother’s interest is piqued.

“Mills.” Theo asks, amusement on his face at his sister’s behaviour. “What’s up with you?”

“Why don’t you ask Mom?” She said, pointedly looking at her mother. “Мама пытается разрушить мою жизнь, вот в чем дело.”

“I did not try and ruin your life, Amelia.” She says, rolling her eyes at her daughter's dramatics. She looks at her sons and their respective partners. “All I did was have a conversation with the boy who made Amelia cry herself to sleep a couple of days ago.”

“Yeah. By explaining that you’re a Section Chief at the FBI, whilst you had your gun and badge on display.” Amelia exclaims.

There was a moment of silence at the table before it descended into laughter, confusion all over Zach’s face on whatever he had walked into.

“Oh sweetheart.” Aaron says, looping his arm around the back of her chair to place a hand on her shoulder. “Not again.”

Amelia frowns, looking at her parents in shock. “Not again? What the hell does that mean?”

“Mom’s crazy, Millie.” Theo says, a laugh bursting out of him.

“Hey, I resent that.” Emily says, sinking back into her chair slightly, glaring at Aaron when he laughs at her and kisses the side of her head.

Jack gives Emily a look with his eyebrows raised before looking back at his sister. “My first ever girlfriend broke up with me the day before homecoming, Mom scared the absolute shit out of her by showing up at her cheerleading practise the following day. She somehow managed to mention that Dad once killed a guy with his bare hands.”

“Your dad did what?” Zach asks, leaning in to Theo who just shook his head. A silent promise that he’d explain later.

“In my defence.” Emily says, crossing her arms across her chest, a slight flush to her face. “This one was really sick at the time and I was pretty sleep deprived.” She says pointing at Amelia. “I wasn’t entirely in control of my emotions, and you were just so sad.”

“She also made me very aware of what she does for a living when Jack and I first moved in together.” Sara pipes up, nothing but amusement on her face when she looks at her mother-in-law. She turns back to Amelia. “I think it’s sweet.”

Amelia shakes her head at them all and turns to Zach. “Run whilst you still can.” __________________

Emily closes the door behind Jack and Sara as they leave, promises of getting together soon uttered in between lingering hugs.

“Mom?”

Emily turns to see Amelia standing behind her, her hands in her pockets as she avoids her mother’s gaze. It’s the calmest she’s looked all evening, any frustration she had towards her and her actions having melted away.

“Look, I’m sorry, Amelia.” She says taking a step towards her daughter. “I know I probably shouldn’t have done that. But you were so upset, and he deserved to-”

Her ranting is cut off by Amelia throwing her arms around her waist and placing her head on her shoulder. “Thank you.”

Emily smiles and hugs her daughter back, kissing the top of her head as she pulls her closer. “You’re welcome, sweetie.”

“I always thought it would be Dad, or Theo or Jack who went after a boy for me.” She says against her mother’s shirt before she pulls away. “At least I can tell any future guys that my mom is crazy.” _________________

Emily turns to lay on her side as Aaron joins her in bed, she smiles at him and pushes some hair off of his forehead before running her blunt nails over his temples, the mix of dark and grey hair rasping as she goes. “When do you think Jack and Sara are going to tell us she’s pregnant?”

A laugh peels out of Aaron before he leans forward and kisses her, pulling back only to press his forehead against hers. “Whenever they are ready.”

Emily shifts so her back is against him and pulls his arm over her waist, sighing when he settles his chest against her. “You’d think they’d learn they can’t hide anything from us.”

He kisses the top of her head and holds her a little tighter. “We’ve got some pretty great kids.”

“We really do.”

“You have got to stop threatening anyone who hurts them though.”

“Sure, love.” She says, pulling his hand up to her lips to kiss his knuckles. “I’ll stop.”

They both know she won’t.