#IVE CRIED SEVERAL TIMES | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hinaliix · 1 year

Text

Vashhhhh the stampedeeeeeee

#trigun #trigun stampede #vash the stampede #vash #trigun 1998 #yes I made a 1998 teru Vash because I think he’d be really cute!#my silly little guy!! my beloved!#recently I’ve begun rewatching stampede and OH MY GOD #IVE CRIED SEVERAL TIMES #LIKE #VASH?! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME SO SAD #this is what I get for being a Vash kin I suppose (and a simp)#anyways!! 98 Vash is very important to me and I miss his Baja blast eyes very much (even though I also just got some rewatching that)

191 notes · View notes

hammill-goes-fogwalking · 6 months

Text

I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI.

#not dislike. its hate #it made me cry several times today #thinking of how my classmates manipulate our teachers #and chatgpt AIs can EVERYTHING #its so painful to think of it #today I broke down in the bus and cried #idc what people think. hiding my feelings any longer would destroy me from the inside #maybe youve also seen how people use freakin AIs in their exams #the thing is that:#we wrote an exam for which Ive studies for like 2 whole days #this week we finally got the exams back (w the grades ofc)#and ok Ive got a 3 (C in America syste #*m)#my friends who used chatgpt throughout the exam got way better grades (I didnt expect it otherwise)#PLUS #the most provocating messages from the teacher:#“10/10 POINTS :)” “YOURE ROCKING THIS” “YEAH”#💔#seriously #this breaks my heart #dont the teacher see something suspect in the exam?!#why cant they open their eyes and get modernized to reality.#& they KNOW- the students Im talking of. they usally have bad results.#once our teacher came to a chatgpt student and said the most miserable thing:#“youve been using duolingo a lot lately hm? thats where your nice grades come from 😉🥰”#you get it?#no- this peoson didnt learn.#no- this person isnt even interested in the stuff we learn in lessons #AWFUL feeling to hear the praisings of da teachers when *I* gotta sit among the gpt-students and look like Im a worse student than *them*#[writing this at almost 1 at night] still have some tears. this topic really has the power to destroy someones day. 💔💔

44 notes · View notes

skunkes · 1 month

Text

cookie has the funniest zoomies ever and she hasn't had them in years which I guess makes sense bc she's 7 now... but she JUST did it....and it was too short for me to record (I keep wishing I could have recorded at least one...) but I'm so happy I got to see it again

#talkys #honestly idk that i Could record even if it happened again bc when it happens im too busy laughing until i cant breathe #ive never seen a dog move like that igts so funny it looks like she's trying to get her butt completely underneath her while running #like she doesnt take long leaps its several miniscule ones...so she's ''running'' while only moving like a centimeter at a time #and looking like shes trying to get her butt completely under her body ive laugh cried abt it several times

34 notes · View notes

brucequeensteen · 9 months

Text

character wrapped 2023 💥

tagged by @davidtennantpussytulpa ^-^ i didn't know how many to do so i copied tara and did top 10. i know the severance guys are Four Of Them but i can't separate them theyre all equally important to me

will graham (hannibal), em haywood (nope), aziraphale (good omens), mark & dylan & helly & irving (severance), hawkeye pierce (mash), martha jones (doctor who), ivan karamazov (the brothers karamazov), kim kitsuragi (disco elysium), stewy hosseini (succession), ruescott melshi (andor/rogue one)

i will tag... @fagician @britomart @libraryfag @roadwhores @majorbaby @globuspolski @hadleyfraserfaggot @tenderscience if u want to ^-^

#and now i will explain them all in detail #cos i started watching hannibal back in like. january or february and will immediately set up camp in my head and started to settle there #*I* pay rent to *HIM*. he lives there permanently. sweating and monologuing constantly #em was not only the character of 2022 but also of 2023 and of 2024 and the rest of the decade and all decades to come #she had such an impact on me keke palmer's performance will live with me forever and i love nope so fucking much #i almost didnt include her because nope was more of a last year obsession. but she lives on #aziraphale.........no comment #severance.......i love them all so much and at first i wanted just irving and then just helly and then i realise i cried over mark this week #and then i realised i couldnt possibly leave out dylan when hes probably my favourite character. so then i settled for all of them #hawkeye is my fucking wife. enough said #martha... well i knew i had to have a doctor who character. i thought maybe the doctor but then i thought their companions mean more to me #sometimes at least. i did have a fourteen icon for a while but then i was like but Donna..... and then i thought. well #these past few months at least martha jones has been eating away at my heart. i go batshit insane when i think about her #her impact. her grace. her power. so she had to go on the list.it was a toss up between her and donna for sure though #then i figured i had to include a karamazov since reading that book took up half of my year. and ivan was my favourite of the 3. so <3 #kim goes without saying. literally nothing to be said hes the character Of All Time. to me #stewy also goes without saying ive had so many Stewy Save Me moments since the beginning of season 4 all the way to the end of the year #i miss him every day. he is the moment. i wish there was more of him all the time #and the last one is a bit of a wildcard cos all my insanity abt melshi has been on my andor sideblog.#but rest assured ive been thoroughly Not Normal about him. he literally side appears in 4 episodes and has 11 total minutes onscreen #but i love him. so much. and hes occupied most of my thoughts since september. once again his impact his power his grace. his homosexuality #enough said. that's all. thanks for reading. this was a great year for autism and madness #tag game #🍪

22 notes · View notes

orcelito · 7 months

Text

I think I cried harder today over my dad's jackets than I did at his deathbed. That was a miserable time of course, a memory that will likely be seared into my brain until I die, but I cried... I think a normal amount, all things considered. More than I ever usually do of course, but I typically don't cry At All. All this free crying is certainly surreal.

The jackets, though. I was put in charge of doing his laundry, because we don't want to pack up dirty clothes. I was expecting it to be unpleasant bc my dad's dirty clothes - gross. But really, it was much more unpleasant in that... those were his. It felt wrong to touch them. Felt wrong to treat his jackets as gross. Because they were just his jackets. They weren't even in the hamper. And then I was remembering him wearing them, and then I was crying. Again. And again. Weeping over these damn jackets.

Then I found a shirt on his bed that still smelled like him. It smelled like a Hug From Dad. And that set me off crying even harder.

In total, I think I cried like 6 times within 40 minutes. It took me that long to finish sorting the damn clothes bc I just. Was a wreck. Like, what are you supposed to do when you're living life like normal, vaguely hopeful bc you're taking steps to secure your own happiness, and then 4 days later you're sorting your dad's laundry because he fucking died. Suddenly. Without a goodbye.

And you have to worry about his lack of a will (even under an ideal situation, only 2 heirs and no conflicts between us, probate's a fucking Bitch), and arranging the funeral, and prepping his obituary, and picking out pictures, and writing a speech bc you want to talk at his funeral, of Course you want to talk at his funeral, but even just thinking about anecdotes you could share has you crying yet again.

I've cried more times in the past 3 days than likely the entirety of last YEAR. And that's WITH my cat, and uncle, and family friend dying. Those all hurt, my uncle most of all, & I was real fucked up over it. But this? This was my Dad. Likely the person I'd have named 2nd closest to me in my life, second only to my sister. He wasn't perfect, but he did so much for me throughout my entire life. All he wanted was to raise us to be happy and independent. And he accomplished it, we're getting by without him, but we still wanted several more decades with him. He was only 57. We should've gotten several more decades with him.

But here we are now. Playing investigators to his life, digging into all his shit, trying to find documents and take inventory of all his things, and learning Many things about him in the process. In his lockbox of sensitive documents, like his SSN and birth certificate and all that stuff, we found an old letter. About a decade old now, written in my hand. Right at the very top, we found that he'd kept the letter I wrote to him telling him frankly about my struggles and the things I wanted him to do better. He kept it. He tried to take it to heart. He looked at it again, sometime more recently than all the rest of the documents. That was on top.

His love for us is evident everywhere. The pictures he has hanging up all over the place, majority of them with us in them. The old fathers day cards placed on display in his bedroom bookshelf. The gifts we gave him, even stupid little knick knacks, placed around his apartment with pride. I wish we'd taken more videos of him. I don't want to forget the sound of his voice. I don't want to forget his smell either, the smell of a Hug From Dad, but I still tossed that shirt into the wash even though it felt like saying yet another goodbye.

It's the suddenness that hurts the most, I think. We were planning on having him help me finally get my license this year. My final words to him, the last thing he would've seen from me, were messages asking up on whether he'd called his car insurance company to make sure there wouldn't be problems. I should've called him more. I don't know if I'm going to learn from this.

I cut my 2 weeks off early to have time to grieve and to work on things for the funeral and settling the estate. The last thing I'd wanna do right now is selling fucking bubble tea in a job I already decided to leave. So here I am without a job, though with potentially two life insurance policy payouts to come. Inheriting half his 401k. Inheriting couches, knickknacks, keepsakes, paintings, art pieces, maybe even his guitar and other furniture if we can figure out what to do about space (I don't have room for this furniture, I don't know if I even have room for the couches, but God do I want to keep so much of this furniture). It has me even considering keeping one of his guns, just one. A tiny little revolver, it sits so comfortably in my hand. I don't even want to use it for anything. I just want to have it, keep it stored in a drawer with its ammo kept separate. I don't like guns, but this is a part of him. He loved collecting guns. He was about as responsible with them as someone can be, keeping them locked in a lockbox and impressing upon his children the importance of gun safety (I've known the basic gun safety rules ever since I was a little kid. Of course, of course, of course.) It reminds me of him. It's horrifically easy to have a gun in Indiana. I apparently don't even need a permit to carry anymore. (I have no intention to ever carry this in public.)

It's all a cycle. Business, grief, thoughts about my future. Round and round, like the most nauseating carousel in existence. I don't know how I'm still so functional. My skills with compartmentalization have been my lifesaver.

And im just thinking about the story my dad's best friend shared today. About a friend of theirs who lost her father. She reached out after hearing about my dad to share his words with her: "it's okay to grieve, but don't make his death your life".

He explicitly referenced himself in this, saying if he were to die suddenly that he wouldn't want us to define ourselves by it. Grief is expected, but he wants us to be able to move on. He's always wanted us to establish ourselves and make ourselves happy. He wouldn't want to be a weight holding us back from that.

So every time I start to feel guilty for thinking about having nicer furniture or using his life insurance payout to fund the rest of my college, I remind myself of that. Thinking about the material isn't a bad thing. I'm only human. And in the end, he'd Want me to be thinking about it. He never intended to die, certainly not without warning like this, so he would've only encouraged me being pragmatic about it all.

He only ever wanted us to be happy. So I need to do what I can to live up to that.

I love him. I miss him already.

#speculation nation #negative/#this got really long on accident. but i think typing this out was really helpful for me.#getting the thoughts out. processing. the works.#nearly cried several times just from writing this.#...and honestly i might reference this again when i start seriously writing my eulogy.#things suck a Lot right now. and i really wish they were different.#feels like i picked a bad choice in a video game and am now seeing the Bad Ending or whatever #all i need to do is reload a previous save. it's all still there. perfectly preserved in my memories.#but... that's all gone. as suddenly and unfair as it is ive been thrust into a new chapter of my life so thoroughly.#it's not all bad though. he wasnt prepared for dying so it's been hell to prepare for him #we dont know if we'll even be able to get into his fucking iphone. stupid piece of shit.#but he had life insurance. he had a union job. and That comes with benefits #(something about a year's salary going to the family. aka half a year's salary to Me. and isnt That mind boggling.)#as much as it hurts im going to be realistic about it. im going to do what i need to finish my education.#and im going to use it as a springboard for finally becoming a 'proper adult'.#the kind who could own a nice kitchen fridge. one with an ice machine on the front of the door #and freezers in the drawers.#maybe then i could think about getting motorcyle lessons. not from my dad as i originally wanted #but i wanna keep the family biker spirit alive. i wanted it even before he died. and now i want it even more.#ive had so so many thoughts. it's only been 3 days. ive had to emotionally numb myself several times just to Get Through It.#everything is exacerbated. my mom wants to go to the funeral. we will have to fight her on this. my dad Hated her.#and i certainly dont fucking want her around either. not then. not when im talking about my dad.#(my dad. my Dad. i saw him die. i felt him cold. i do not regret it. it still hurts me.)#it's overwhelming. i loved him so fucking much. even with his flaws he was truly an amazing father.#i'll... shut up now. if you read this far. well. hug your loved ones a little tighter. you never know when youll lose them.

10 notes · View notes

corpiote · 7 months

Text

giiiilllllllll

#top is from the romantic and the bottom is from the drama #(or its from the r&d bonus but i believe its the drama)#cybird #ikepri #ikemen prince #ikepri gilbert #gilbert von obsidian #hes silly~ (ive cried over him several times)#i dont think these count as spoilers but lmk if i need to add a cut

17 notes · View notes

wizardnuke · 16 days

Text

bf says ive been going thru it and doing really well at that. bursts into tears.

#im like a toddler that needs a nap except ive badly needed a nap every minute of every day for a week because covid #and im trying really hard #im actually really okay. i don't have my first math test for another week and two days and if i did terrible on #the bio test today my lowest test grade gets dropped and it's okay. it's okay. it's okay.#i am recovering and working and in a class that is very hard for me and i miss simon so bad. i was too tired to drive last weekend #and couldn't go the one prior to that bc covid obviously #it's okay it's okay it's okay #also im getting the depo provera shot in november. i'm fully over it #also the fatigue is getting better by the day. it's okay. it's okay #getting the shot. seeing si on friday. my math prof is very kind and understands that i'm struggling and wants to help. fatigue is getting #better. turns out i don't have work tomorrow. im gonna play valo w seity sometime soon that will be SO fun.#new comfy desk chair. im gonna put something on and work thru my math hw and submit questions without feeling bad about it #it's okay it's okay it's okay it's okay. im being sooo brave.#he also said it's insane that i've had to work this week because i'm very much still symptomatic. it got me really good this time #the initial sickness wasn't nearly as severe as the last time i had covid but this one is more drawn out #im still having sinus symptoms/pain on top of the fatigue. cried in my car both days that i worked 👍 it's okay. it's okay

4 notes · View notes

lesbicosmos · 4 months

Text

me when i think about the fact i'm gonna be going to uni in just over a year: 🥳😁🤩✨🫶

also me when i think about the fact i'm going to uni in just over a year: 🥺😭😫😖💔

#studying astrophysics hopefully in cardiff :D #but also #not seeing the friends ive seen like all the time for the last 6 years T•T #this has already caused several breakdowns and im not even at the point of applying yet #routine-dependent easily-attached-to-people autistic me cries whenever i think about it #sarahs random thoughts

4 notes · View notes

sollucets · 1 year

Note

i IMMEDIATELY thought of you when pda ray showed up like yes this is exactly what rowan said. how does it feel to have the biggest brain in the universe?

hi mona i'm going to be so real with you,, i imagine those minutes between ray saying the symptoms of his addiction are hugs and kisses and seeing sand talking to ray's dad were, in fact, what it feels like to have the biggest brain in the universe, but i could not tell you what that feels like anymore. i dont remember. call back in three business years

#i havent even opened photoshop yet i'm literally just. sitting here #this is to date the third time ive cried at only friends (the other two are episode four and episode six thanks)#khaotung's going to give me a migraine & i'm not even mad about it i need So Many Minutes #im flattered u & bon & everyone thought of me though i got several messages like that #you see the writing was on the wall hes Such a pda boy #rowan asks

9 notes · View notes

dea011 · 4 months

Text

twt is no fun w out tags. how am i supposed to say out in the open that im late in posting because i both missed a psychiatrist appointment and shes ghosting me???

#it was a federal holiday yesterday when our appt was + i misremembered it as being today #its the first doc appt ive ever missed so ive been very stressed waiting for an email back #but i havent been notified that i missed my appt nor did she send the meeting link this time around #it is very strange and i am now crying at a 3/10 anime im only finishing due to the misery of my situation #and i woke up before 6am due to the constant flashing disco lights of lightning and severe storm warnings #+ yesterday my old friend ran into me at the grocery store when shed been out of state for years #and it was crazy bc im avoiding her (whoops she knows at least)#but it was emotional bc it was nice to see her familiar face and i care about her a lot still #it took me 2.5 hrs to draft a text to her afterwards and i cried nearly the whole time #like i cant say this in a post!#but tea is so fun to share in tags ^^#theres so much lore to a tweet that twt will never know

2 notes · View notes

dangoulains-devotion · 4 months

Text

I'm too socially awkward and inept to know how to make it known I've read people's tags on my art but if you have left nice tags and happen to see this please know you give me so much strength 🥺 I feel like I'm always fighting an uphill battle with art but every little compliment or joyful reaction to the content makes it feel like the hill is just that little less steep, even if only for a little while

#one time on twitter someone posed their play arts figures after one of my aerti drawings and i genuinely almost cried #every little bit of joy i can bring to someone out their with my silly combinations of lines means the world to me #im sleep deprived and being a little bit overly sappy i guess but i really do mean it all #anyway yes if you've left a fun reaction or a compliment on one of my posts i guarantee you #ive kicked my legs all giddy and proceeded to think about it for several days #my art #im gonna put it in my art tag just so it doesnt get lost in the tide of my random posting

4 notes · View notes

museeeuuuum · 1 year

Text