#If she had a husband she'd be the most 'oh sorry I have a boyfriend actually' girl on the planet

[bumblingbabooshka]

Every time u post T'Rahni'hk I just wanna kiss her on the cheek. I love her lol

T'Rahni'hk doesn't understand casual affection so if anyone behaves flirtatiously with her she asks if they're interested in marriage. 😔

[celestiababie]

stay at home dad/ house husband mingyu who gets up early to make to make his wife and daughter cute lunch bentos, dress up as the prettiest princess to play tea party with her, makes the best dinners for his family but would also rail you into the sheets almost every night in the most filthy way possible. is an absolute sweetheart afterwards and the next morning and gives his girls kisses after dropping them off to work and school

Stay At Home Dad/Husband! Mingyu Part 1...

Warnings: Fem!reader btw, not much other than mingyu fucking you hard, use of the term "mommy" but not during the sex part really, cum eating, oral (f) , most of this is fluffy

A/N: Dare I say this is one off the most perfect things I've ever received in my inbox 😭 plz send more. I hope I did this justice:(( oh and sorry not sorry for using these iconic photos...they've just always screamed "husband" material to me rather than boyfriend material. Feedback is always appreciated!

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• Mingyu loved being a husband just as much as he loved being a dad.

• He was living his dream life. Beautiful wife, beautiful daughter, nice house. He wouldn't have it any other way.

• He wouldn't pay mind to those who judged him for choosing to stay home and take care of the house while you went to work. He still supported you two with some side investment money, but he wanted to be the most supportive husband and dad he could.

• All the other mothers would be jealous of you. How on earth did you find that sexy of a man who was willing to do house chores AND take care of the kids AND was just as in love with you before you got married.

• But they just didn't understand that Mingyu was a giver at heart and thrived over taking care of his family. It brought him more happiness than anything else could.

• And how could he not be in love with you? You brought him the most amazing daughter in the entire world and he would always feel the need to repay you for bringing him that happiness (even if you told him over and over that he didn't need to thank you for having a kid with him).

• Mingyu was the cutest husband, greeting you with a warm hug and kiss every time you came home, grabbing your bag for you and telling you to unwind while he finishes up the dinner that him and your daughter were preparing (she wasn't actually helping but she thought she was and that's all that mattered).

• He'd glare at you if you even dared to help him do the dishes, telling you that you didn't have to clean up after a long day at work since it was his self proclaimed job.

• But he'd pout and eventually give in to your push back because he did enjoy your company.

• You two would be washing dishes side by side, him doing the washing and you drying the plates as he passed them off to you while your daughter sat on the counter giggling and playing with the dish soap bubbles.

• Mingyu would be very attentive to your needs as well as your daughter's needs. Anything you needed or were running low on would "magically" appear the next day. Any holes in clothes would be patched up before you could even complain about having to buy a new pair. Anything broken (he probably broke it with his tall ass smh) would be fixed without you having to remind him.

• You never needed to waste money for lunch at work because your loving husband would always prepare a meal for you and his daughter to take before the two of you woke up.

• His alarm...would probably wake you up but he'd press a kiss to your forehead and shush you back to sleep before checking on your daughter

• Because your daughter spent so much time with him, she'd probably pick up a few of his habits which always warmed your heart.

• She had his smile, his laugh, his adorable pout that was hard to say no to (you have to be the strongest soldier fr to say no to not only your puppy of a husband but your adorable daughter)

• Mingyu loved spending quality time with his daughter. He knew she would grow up eventually but he'd always have these memories to cherish and look back on.

• It was quite the sight to see coming home from work sometimes to see your 6 foot 2 buff husband dressed up in one of your maternity dresses (probably the only ones that would fit his big ass body) with... questionable makeup on his face while he played princess with your daughter who was clearly having fun with her dad all dressed up.

• Once he noticed you watching, he wouldn't be embarrassed. Instead, he'd have the sweetest smile on his face as he picked up your daughter to carry her to you, the both of them pressing glossed kisses to both of your cheeks.

• But as much as your husband was this tall teddy bear of a man, you never forgot about his duality although it did always amaze you.

• Mingyu liked to keep in shape, not for aesthetic reasons, but he wanted to make sure that his growing age didn't hinder anything he needed to do for you and your daughter. Maybe there were a few shallow reasons for him staying so buff, but he still loved looking good for you after all these years and he knew you appreciated how sexy he was. He loved how proud you got when introducing him to others. He loved how turned on you'd look over the most basic tasks he'd do just because his muscles would flex in his shirt.

• Mingyu was the sweetest husband and father but he also was just just a man at times and couldn't help himself as he snuck in a few "innocent" touches while your daughter was distracted.

• Luckily your daughter couldn't hear all the filthy things he'd whisper in your ear as he gave you back hugs.

• But your daughter would be concerned when you'd let out yelps whenever your touchy husband playfully smacked your ass while your daughter was playing.

• "Princess, what's wrong with mommy? She's been acting weird lately." Your husband smirked at you before feigning concern for you in front of your daughter.

• You weren't complaining though, you loved how Mingyu still found you sexy after all these years and how he had no problem showing it and voicing it.

• Especially when he was balls deep inside you after the two of you read your daughter to sleep.

• "God damn, you're so fucking sexy, baby. Fuck—your pussy's so fucking good," he moaned out, his hips slamming his cock deep into you as he took you from behind, his strong hand pushing you down on your stomach while the other pressed against your head to muffle your moans in the pillow.

• "We can't be loud, Y/N. You wouldn't want to wake up our little princess, right? Fuck, shit—I've fucked you hundreds of times, how are you still this fucking tight."

• He'd quicken his pace, fucking into you so hard it was pretty much guaranteed that you'd be walking funny the next day.

• After making you cum around his cock and burying his face into your neck as he emptied himself inside of you. He offered to clean up the cum inside of you with his mouth (again how could you say no) and giggled as he watched how your eyes could barely stay open after multiple orgasms.

• "Let's go to bed, baby."

• It always amazed you how your husband could easily slip back into the loving, clumsy, puppy husband and father role as if he didn't fuck you into the mattress the night before.

• He'd have the brightest smile on his face as he listened fondly as your daughter raved about her new drawing while Mingyu was cooking up breakfast for the family.

• But he'd have his moments in between where he'd let that innocent imagine down, whispering into your ear as your daughter started a new drawing at the table.

• "Baby, you might wanna fix how you're walking, our little princess was asking why Mommy was walking so funny and I can't exactly explain that I fucked her sexy mommy until she came six times." He sent you a wink before turning to your daughter with another bright smile as he brought the plated breakfast to the table.

[hazbin-a-helluvamagines]

Bee, Ozzie (+ Fizz, if you wanna) and Loona with a shy, human male S/O who has metahuman abilities, specifically time manipulation (controlling the flow of time, such as speeding it up, slowing it down, moving it forward, moving it back, etc) and time alteration (changing the time around an object, either inanimate or living, and making that object into a different thing entirely, with living things still retaining their sentience, but are unable to move)

Sorry if this is long and/or hyper specific.

Ozzie + Fizz, Bee, and Loona with a Shy, Human Male S/O with metahuman abilities

Both Asmodeus and Fizzarolli think you're extremely cool! They're both really sweet to you, though. The last thing they need is for you to have a panic attack on them!

"Fuck, you can mess with time?! That shit's pretty scary~!" Fizzarolli would tease playfully in a sing-song voice.

"Can you show us how it works, baby?" Ozzie would ask you. Of course, he'll understand if you say no or refuse. He's just happy to give you the opportunity to talk about yourself.

Since you're shy, they'll be the first to open up all sorts of doors for you to interject your opinion into things, too. Plus, with you being human, Ozzie in particular would be incredibly protective of you.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?! I'll destroy any motherfucker who tries to hurt my boyfriend!" Ozzie would shout after someone had been harassing you. And Fizzarolli would quickly join in.

"Yeah, our boyfriend is wayyyyy too good for a piece of shit like you," he'd say in that smug tone he always used on people he didn't like and wanted to taunt.

Honestly, they'd both want to kind of see you snap. You've earned it dealing with all the bullshit in Hell. Change that Karen into a pot or something, and let her be in agony stuck that way for the rest of her life in Hell. Or age her so much that her husband won't ever want her again (as if he even does now- 🤭)

A wholesome pair, certainly, but with their darker, more mischievous sides!!

They'll probably bring you to Ozzie's with them so they can better keep an eye on you. After all, they don't want to watch anyone try to hurt you without being able to stop it.

No, Ozzie learned his lesson after OOPS with Fizz-

Oh boy. You're in for a treat with our lovely Queen Bee.

See, it isn't necessarily that she's mean about you being shy, it's just that she doesn't quite understand it. After all, she's a total party animal, she can't understand people who don't enjoy getting scrappy and having fun!

She'd be the type to first offer you drugs to help you loosen up, insisting she can get you anything that your heart desires.

"C'mon, babe! Alcohol? Sugar? Fentanyl? Ketamine? Oxy? Chardonnay? Come on, anything you want, just lemme know! We gotta be ready to tear this shit up together!"

She's only being playful, of course. She's trying her hardest to understand, she really is. Once she understands it more of an aspect of your personality, rather than a problem she needs to fix, she's a lot more chill.

"Hey, hun, I know you're not really a fan of socializing at my parties. Wanna go to a private section of the place and just chill with me?"

She's also so sweet, she'll offer you any accommodations you may need! Comfort foods? No problem! Cuddles? You got it! Her attention? You don't even need to ask!

She's a lot less focused on your abilities than some of the others. But still finds them really cool, although more for just messing around!

"So are you telling me you could totally turn that plant over there back into a seed?! Yeah! Do it! C'mon, show me, babe!"

Probably finds it really hot how powerful you are, actually.

The Gluttony Ring is a lot more chill, so she's a lot more comfortable leaving you by yourself as a human there than in, say, the Lust or Pride Rings. Most everybody in Gluttony is sweet.

After all, nobody would really want to get on her bad side, anyway.

And yet, if you approached her with any sort of issues... i.e., someone tried spiking your drink, someone spilled a drink on you, you're being made fun of, etc., out comes the monstrous Bee form. It's their own fault!

"Which of you fucking bitches tried some shit on S/O?! I'll fuck you up so hard that not even all the ketamine in the world will numb your stupid ass!"

It's honestly amazing how protective someone normally so chill can be when their S/O is human.

You're shy, male, have powers, and above all, are human?! Oh no, no, no. Don't ever let her dad find out, he will be at your house the same day-

Aside from that, she pretends not to care much about your abilities. After all, she's more interested in you, not what you can do. And she finds your abilities impressive, and something she'll secretly record so she can remember how cool it was, but she'll avoid bringing it up. She never knows if it's a sore spot for you, after all.

Since you're shy, she'll take it on herself to tease an embarrass you in public, but only playfully and as much as you're comfortable with. All you have to do is say the word and she'll stop and never do it again. Kisses to the cheek, pulling you to sit on her lap (or vice versa), sickeningly sweet couple photos, you name it, she's already on it, most likely.

Of course, only she's allowed to do it. Anyone else who tries is already basically a goner, because they're going to be unrecognizable by the time Loona is done mauling them- Who's to say Hellhounds aren't loyal and devoted?

With that said, if someone ever messed with you,

She's pretty chill with you, though, just acting very normal and a little more sweet. Not quite as abrasive as she is toward Blitzø, for example.

"Hey, S/O. There's this thing coming up in the Greed Ring next week. Wanna go? You don't have to, it's just an idea."

Since you're human, and she both lives and works in the Pride Ring, which is full of sinners, don't expect to EVER be left alone.

She can't risk one of those awful creatures getting their hands on you and hurting you! No, she'll be at your side 24/7, insisting you call her just to be able to leave your house for the day. It may seem overprotective, something that apparently runs in the family, but she just doesn't want to see you get hurt.

"C'mon, S/O. I promise it's not personal. But Pride is full of shitty people with shitty personalities and shitty crimes that got them sent to this shitty place. 'Kay?"

She does care, even if she doesn't always show it all the time. <3

[unchained-hound-dog]

jack not being able to hide the fact that he’s clearly in love with reader the first time he saw them at one of his concerts👀🥲

Here you go love!

----

Jack was performing in your home town and it had taken very little convincing from your friend to get you to go with her. She'd found tickets last minute and you agreed to go; you'd both been fans for a few years.

You'd managed to get front row, it was a tight squeeze but you needed to see this man up close and personal. The show had started and Jack was singing bop after bop, you and your friend singing your little hearts out. It got to the segment where Jack came down to the barrier as he sang first class. He'd started the other end to where you and your friend were, making his way over slowly. You held out your hand and he brushed his fingers across yours as he passed, stopping after your friend and turning around.

He continued singing as the two of you held the most intense eye contact you've ever had with someone. Butterflies errupted in your stomach as he took your hand, bringing the mic away from his mouth as the instrumental part of the song played.

'Hey' you just managed to hear him over the screaming girls around you.

'You may be the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on' you were cheek-to-cheek at this point as he was leant over the barrier whispering in your ear.

'You're not too bad to look at yourself' you smirked as he pulled away, shooting you a grin before leaning in again.

'Give my guy your number' and just like that he was gone, you watched as he briefly spoke to a guy standing by the end of the barrier, the same guy who walked over to you and took your number before leaving again.

'Sorry everyone, think I just met the love of my life' Jack's voice echoed through the arena as he shot you a wink, the entire place erupting into screeches and cheers as he continued onto the next song.

-

'I did not say it like that, you're way over-exaggerating it' Jack's voice was playful as he sat beside you on the sofa, your three daughters sat on the floor infront of you as you cuddled your yougest in your arms.

'Daddy was in love with mommy at first sight' your eldest daughter grinned.

'Oh there's no denying I loved your mom the second I laid my eyes on her but I'm not sure I proclaimed it to everyone in attendence' Jack's eyes met yours, your brows raised at him in a 'don't lie' way.

'It's not good to lie to your children Jackman' you tutted, readjusting your daughter on your lap.

'Yeah daddy, musn't tell lies' your second oldest daughter grinned, jumping up from her spot and onto Jack's lap, he let out a huff as she giggled.

'Mommy I hope I meet someone who loves me like you and daddy love each other' your daughters comment made your heart swell, you knew you'd hit the jackpot with your husband, he was incredible in everyway and each one of your daughters had a characteristic in them of his that you adored.

'Yeah well you girls aren't having no men until you're at least 80 years old' Jack watched as the girls' faces turned to him, the two youngest pulling a disgusted face.

'I already got a boyfriend daddy, Uncle Urb' your eldest grinned.

'Oh god help us all' you teased, admiring your beautiful family, so thankful of your friend getting you those concert tickets all those years ago.

[ladygreek]

OKAY.. I HAVE SOME THOUGHTS

Blood of Zeus season 2

Spoilers below, proceed with caution!

First of all.. Hades and Persephone are absolutely everything. I adore them as characters and as a couple. Their loyalty to each other was beautiful and their willingness to do anything, no matter how horrible to reunite their family had me crying.

I adore the way they met, how he kept himself hidden because he didn't think she'd want to see him. Hades saving Persephone from Ares but completely able to hold her own with her own powers. *chefs kiss*

WHEN TWO SOULS ARE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER NOTHING CAN KEEP THEM APART.

And I'm sorry, that tree Persephone made of the two of them? I fucking cried like baby. And the way you could see Hades' heart break when it got destroyed KILLED ME.

Rip my heart out why don'tcha. Also, baby Zagreus and Melinoe? Love.

Hera getting a redemption arch was fantastic. I loved her in season one but her anger was misplaced for the most part so it was nice to see her make a come back.

Ares.. oh Ares. I know some people aren't going to like his portrayal but I actually liked it. Not all of Zeus' children are going to be decent and someone had to be a "bad guy" and frankly I'm just glad it wasn't Apollo for once.

Speaking of Apollo, him not accepting that discus because that's how Hyacinth died? My poor baby.

I'm really glad we got some Athena and a bit more Artemis this season. Hestia was great, I absolutely loved her. Hecate (I'm guessing that was her) and seeing Thanatos was also a welcome suprise.

Demeter's portrayal had me conflicted. Lying that your daughter was abducted because you didn't like her sutor is crazy and manipulative, especially letting it continue as the two of them had a family. I also understand that she wants power and control but blackmailing her daughters husband to do so was not the best choice.

Seraphim.. my sweet sweet Seraphim. My heart broke for this man. Introducing a love interest that died "because of him" was gut wrenching, hasn't he suffered enough? I feel like he really redeemed himself and was trying to do right by the one last person he could do right by.

Heron.. okay, so I'm probably not gonna get a lot of love for this BUT I didn't really like his character in season one and I still don't really like him now. He's okay I guess, there's just something about him that doesn't do it for me. I also don't think he's fit to be the next ruler of the heavens. Maybe my opinion will change if we get another season.

Did I mention how much I loved Hades and Persephone?

I read somewhere that the creators of the show have 5 seasons planned out. I'm really hoping we at least get one more because that cliff hanger was UNFAIR.

I hear this season is getting some hate on Twitter and I don't really know why. Overall I enjoyed it much more than season one. I'm definitely biased though considering Hades is my favorite Greek god and Hades and Persephone are my favorite couple.

Anyway, those are my thoughts. Now to get my boyfriend to watch it with me. And then watch it 6477858585 more times.

[quinnfabrcys]

he loved her, he loved her, he loved her. she was a like breath of fresh air, he told her, she made him feel normal. where have you been all my life, quinn fabray? carter loveless. as in jane austen's if i loved you less, i might be able to talk about it more. but all men do is lie. and let their mothers treat their supposed love of their lives like shit. let it be known, quinn fabray is a certified feminist. but celia loveless is a certified cunt. the older woman who hired a private investigator to look into her son's girlfriend and decided to throw it back into her face, use it to embarrass her. did you know quinn was a teen mom? oh, yeah. then she just gave up the poor thing. couldn't even take responsibility. we don't have to worry about you giving up a future grandchild, do we? and that stupid rich person laugh. followed by her daughter's stupid laugh. now she wanted to jump over the table and in her best friend's words go all lima heights on her ass, that's what santana would've done. carter immediately moved the knife on her plate out of sight. as if he knew. "mom —," "you know, celia, we have a lot of common. i didn't raise my kid, you definitely didn't raise your kids, so i don't think you should be giving anyone parenting advice, you cunt," how dare you. where do you get off talking to me like that? "oh, are you upset? you have so much botox and fillers i couldn't tell," her attention moving to his sister right after, "and they had to pay half a million dollars to get you into usc because they thought you were too stupid to get in on your own and they were right!"

"you called my mom a cunt, my sister stupid, quinn, and you don't see anything wrong with that?" the man ran his hands over his face because of course this was so stressful for him. "i'm sorry, were you there when beth was brought into it? how it was so funny that a sixteen year old girl gave her baby up for adoption? i had to defend myself because you sure as hell weren't gonna do it. she did it to embarrass me, carter," the blonde immediately shot back. ""babe, she didn't mean it, that's just how she is sometimes. okay? i just think if you apologized first and were the bigger person —," and in that moment she understood why so many women snapped and killed their boyfriends and husbands because jesus christ. men were the worst. santana was always telling her to get a girlfriend for a reason. "not only am i not apologizing to leather face and her dumb ass daughter, i would never have children with fucking a pussy ass momma's boy, carter," santana lopez would be proud. she'd be even prouder if her best friend let her beat his ass, but that wasn't really an option at the moment.

dainty gold ring cladded hands ran over the yale university diplomas in their respective frames. two degrees in social work. lima, lima, lima. she put six hundred and seventy miles between her and lima when she went to new haven. then it was eight hundred when she moved to boston. lima, ohio. typical middle america. she tells people she's from columbus when they ask. well, it's close enough, because people from big cities would rarely know where a little town in the middle of ohio is. the town that she so badly wanted to escape once upon a time. she no longer thinks of her hometown like that. something to run from. instead it's something that welcomes her home no matter what's going on in her life. and right now she needed to be home. so there she was. in what once was the office of emma pillsbury, making it her own little piece of mckinley. maybe it's true what they say, that one way or another, you'll always find your way back home.

william mckinley was like a time warp. and finn hudson was everywhere. ten years felt like just yesterday and a million years ago all the same time. her chest hurt so bad the last time she was here as if it often did. the past summer. her friends always keeping their promises. by now, most of them were married or had kids. yet, quinn was content with being aunt quinn, aunt q, or 'inn, for the littlest ones. her baby was thirteen and she still remembered how much that shit hurt, so she was fine, thank very much. by now, all the students who ever knew finn hudson had graduated and moved on. to current students, he was solely the name on the auditorium. time was such a weird thing. with the sound of footsteps coming closer and pulling her out of her thoughts, the blonde turned around to see who it was. a smile immediately etching on her lips, sam evans. a magnificent duet partner, an even more amazing person. maybe the one that got away. "hi, sam," she spoke up, green eyes settling onto his blue ones. "you think this school's big enough for the both of us?"

[nashibirne]

Painkiller - 2

Here is the second part of Painkiller. Enjoy and let me know what you think!

You can find the first part here: Nashi's Masterlist

Pairing: Henry Cavill x OFC (Ella) Summary: Boy meets girl...in this Chapter they get to know each other a little better Warnings: Mentioning of body issues (slim OFC), smut in upcoming chapters but not yet Unbeta'ed. English is not my first language, so there might be mistakes/bad grammar/wrong spelling Credits: I took the pictures for the moodboard from Pinterest, for Katie I chose a pic of the lovely Nicola Coughlan. The "back pic" is from Pinterest too. If I violate any kind of copyright, please let me know.

Tags @hell1129-blog @lunedelorient @willkatfanfromasia @mis-lil-red @inlovewithhisblueeyes @agniavateira @omgkatinka @legendarywizarddetective @summersong69

Here we go!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ping!

Ella froze when she heard the tone of her WhatsApp notifications. It was almost noon and though she'd never admit it, she'd been waiting to hear from Henry since the moment she'd opened her eyes in the morning. Hoping it was him, she took her phone and read the message. 

Hello, Ella. This is Henry...the guy with the hard blow from the party last night.

Did he really think he had to remind her of who he was? That was damn cute.

I hope you're feeling better. I know I sound like a broken record but I can't say it often enough. I'm really, really sorry for hurting you. 

...

Hey Henry. Thanks for checking on me. I'm much better, no headache anymore. No harm done, so I can easily forgive you.

....

He answered immediately.

That's a big relief! Has your brother already examined the bruise? Are you sure it's not a concussion and nothing's broken?

....

Yes, Alex stopped by on his way to work. I'm fine, just have to take it slow for the rest of the weekend. That's it. It looks much worse than it actually is.

....

Meaning I gave you a huge shiner?

...

Yeah... It's quite impressive. Wanna see?

....

Absolutely! Videocall?

....

Sure!

Videocall! Ella didn't see that coming. She had planned to send him a selfie. Video Call...before she was able to get into a panic her phone rang and she touched the green button to take the call, her heart racing like crazy. Henry's ridiculously handsome face with the friendly blue eyes and this very pretty nose, appeared on the screen instantly. She smiled at him sheepishly, suddenly very aware of the fact that she looked like shit with her bruise, without any makeup and with uncombed hair.

"Gosh, Ella....that looks bad. I can't believe you didn't pass out after that hit." he said horrified and ashamed at the sight of her bruised eye. His beautiful deep voice sounded hollow through the speakers of her phone. "Yeah...I know. But I'm the youngest of four. I'm able to take a lot of knocks." She laughed. "I feel terrible about this." he said, sounding serious.  "Please don't, Henry. It was an accident and I'm fine. I can cross off 'having a black eye' from my bucket list now. So I guess I have to thank you for this." She winked into the camera.  Henry chuckled. "You're welcome. And to be honest...it suits you, the dark blue and violet match your beautiful green eyes perfectly and you're still incredibly pretty."  "Oh...thanks." His words took her by surprise and she knew she was blushing which made her feel self-conscious. Her short answer to his compliment was followed by a long pause and Henry wondered if he had been too straightforward or too awkward. He wished he was just half as good at flirting as everyone considered him to be. "What about your back?" Ella said hastily to keep the conversation going. "My back is fine." "Really? You can be honest with me." "Really. I swear. Only a light red trace. It hardly hurts, it's really nothing serious. I can send you a back pic later." Henry grinned. Ella almost choked on the tea she was just sipping. Back pic - dick pic. The association hit her hard and of course she blushed like a shy wallflower. Again. It had always been like this. Her pale skin turned red for the most trivial reasons. Even at school when the teachers called on her she used to blush. And there was nothing she could do about it. She hated it. Coughing she gave Henry a funny look and he cursed internally for obviously making her feel uncomfortable with his stupid remark. Back pic, really, dumbass?

"Umm...yeah...why not. But maybe you still should put some ointment for burns on it." "Well...this is going to be a problem. I'm not that flexible. I doubt I can reach that area of my back and Kal won't be able to help." Henry replied, smiling. "Kal?" Ella was irritated. Who's Kal? His boyfriend? Oh my god. Is he gay? Am I making a complete fool of myself? "My dog. He's a clever boy but he can't do that." Henry laughed. "Oh. I see..." Ella let out a relieved snort. "Maybe your girlfriend can help you." She knew her attempt to find out if he was single was both obvious and pathetic. "I don't have a girlfriend." He said calmly, looking directly into the camera. "If I had, I wouldn't be chatting with you, clumsily trying to flirt, making you feel uncomfortable." He added with a shy, apologetic smile. Flirt? Ella was speechless for a moment. She started fiddling with her fingers, nervous all of the sudden. Good heavens...Henry Cavill is trying to flirt with me. "That's good to know. And you're not making me uncomfortable. On the contrary." she said softly, smiling back at him. 

Henry didn't really know how to go on with the conversation but he didn't want their chat to end so soon either so he tried to change the subject. "That's an impressive pile of books there right behind you." "Yeah...when you take work home with you...you know how it is." Ella grinned,  turning around, giving the book on top a gentle tap. "Work? What do you do for a living?" "My sister and I run a little bookstore-cafe." "What's that? A bookstore and a cafe at the same time?" "Yeah, exactly. Like an ordinary bookstore but we also sell coffee, tea, cake, muffins and sandwiches and stuff." "Wow, that's cool. Downtown London?" "No. On the outskirts. In Uxbridge." "Is that where you live?" "Yes, I live in the flat above the store. What about you? Notting Hill? Belgravia?" "Kensington." Henry said laughing. "Of course." she joined in with a smirk. "Must be nice living there. Quite fancy I guess. Tell me all about it." And that's what he did. 

Their easy going and very funny chat was interrupted by a ring at Ella's door a few minutes later. Ella made a face, giving Henry an apologetic look.  "That must be Katie, my sister. I told her what happened and she promised to supply me with some food. I hope for pizza and ice cream but I bet it's broth and fruits." She rolled her eyes. Henry's rumbling laugh echoed through the speakers. "Well, I better say good bye then, before her sisterly revenge hits me."  A second and a third impatient ring.  "Yeah. We better say goodbye. It was really good to talk to you Henry. Thanks for checking on me. And thanks for trying to flirt with me." She gave him a sweet wink and managed to blush only a little, her cheeks turning light pink. "You're welcome, Ella. It was my pleasure." "Bye." she said and the screen of his phone turned black.

It was my pleasure? What's wrong with you, Cavill?  Henry asked himself after the end of the call. He let his head sink down on the table top of his desk. You're welcome?  That really sounded smug as fuck. Not smooth, not witty....just smug and arrogant. Like he was doing her a favour by flirting with her. Your compensation for a huge black eye? Henry Cavill being socially awkward, trying to flirt clumsily for 15 minutes straight. Jackpot. You're welcome!

"I'm an idiot, Buddy." He said, sighing, turning to Kal. "I didn't even manage to ask her out on a date."  

****

When Ella opened the door her sister swept into the room with all the vigour that was so typical for her. With her 31 years of age Katie was only 14 months older than Ella and she was the exact opposite to her. Where Ella was tall and lean, Katie was short and voluptuous. Well, Katie herself called it fat but Ella had always considered her sisters curvy bodily features pretty and enviable. She had the boobs and the butt Ella had prayed for throughout her puberty. She'd waited in vain for some curves to grow. She hardly needed an A cup and her hips were anything but round. "Don't be ungrateful." her sister said whenever Ella raised the topic. "You can eat as much as you want without gaining weight, you don't need a bra and you'll never have saggy boobs. And your ass is crisp like an apple. I would kill for a body like yours." It was hard to see it that way for Ella, when she had been called a twig and worse throughout her schooldays. "You have to eat, Darling, if you ever want to find a husband. You're thin as a rake." her late grandmother used to say with a deep sigh whenever she saw her granddaughter. The problem was, Ella did eat. A lot actually, but she never gained weight, though she really wanted to. Her ex Craig used to call her Twiggy and she'd hated it. 

"Why did it take you so long to open the door?" Katie asked, placing a big bag on the kitchen table, running a hand over her round belly. She was six months pregnant with her first child. She turned around with a worried look on her doll-like face, that was framed by wavy, blonde hair. Katie had the same big green eyes like her sister but her face was heart-shaped with a sweet little nose and plump lips. A stark contrast to Ella's oval features with the grecian nose and the wide mouth. "Are you really ok? Alex said you'll be fine but you look a little flushed." "No, no...I'm good. I was just on a video call with Henry when you ringed." "Henry Cavill, huh?" Katie wiggled her eyebrows. "Yes. Can you believe it?" Ella giggled, feeling like a schoolgirl. "Hardly. I mean, how did you -Isabella Marianne Jacobs- manage to get into a close combat with Superman. Literally." "I really don't know. I went to this party with Jax and I sit at the bar hoping to maybe catch a little glimpse of Geralt of Rivia and the next thing I know is I almost get knocked out and the guy who makes me see stars is Henry fucking Cavill in person."

Katie laughed out loud, shaking her head in disbelief. She started unpacking the bag, placing various boxes on the table. "I made you some broth and here are some apples and pears and some oat cookies." "Broth, Katie? Really? I'm not sick." "A nice, tasty vegetable broth is good for anything." "Yeah...sure." Ella made a face. "But I was hoping for some food for the nerves. Chocolate, crisps, ice cream and lasagna or pizza for example." "Why?" Katie grinned. "What's wrong with your nerves? Did your little chat with Henry shake you up?" "Very funny."  "Why did he call you in the first place?" "He wanted to make sure I survived his punch. He's really a decent and nice man." "And the simple question if you're okay, left you so flushed?" Once again she was an open book to her big sister.   "He flirted with me, Katie!" Ella blurted out, turning tomato red. "Oh my god. How? What did he say? Spill it."

Ella gave her sister a little summary of their conversation, including all the details. Katie was not only her sister, she was her best friend besides Jax and there was no need to leave something aside. "Awww...this is so romantic." "Romantic? I don't know...maybe he was just trying to make me feel better. He has a reputation to lose." Ella was sceptical. "Nonsense! If it was an act he would have been much smoother, don't you think? After all he's an actor. He knows how to pretend a flirt." "And you really think a man like him isn't a smooth flirt in real life?" "Well, he obviously is not. Even famous people can be shy or insecure, Ella." "Yeah, sure..." "Do you think he's really going to send you that....back pic?" Katie grinned. "I hope so." Ella answered sniggering. They kept talking about Henry for a full hour, giggling and laughing. Ella felt like a teenager again, drooling over her newest crush. 

After her sister had left, Ella was sitting on her couch, eating her broth, thinking about Henry. Was it really possible that he was interested in her? And maybe even more important, was she seriously interested in him? Sure, he was incredibly handsome and attractive with an interesting personality. Of course it was flattering that he flirted with her and of course it boosted her ego. But what if he'd really ask her out. Would she say yes? Was she ready?

She hadn't dated anyone since she and Craig had decided to split up and go separate ways a year ago and she wasn't sure if she was okay with getting emotionally involved with somebody again. 

A few months ago she had kind of a fling with Jackson's older brother Hunter. It was something she used to call friends with benefits, Hunter preferred the term fuck buddies, Jax called it booty calls. Whatever it was, it was strictly physical and it had come to an end when Hunter had to move to Berlin for a job. She was sad when he had to leave because the sex really had been great. He had shown her a side of physical love she'd never known before. Her sex life with Craig had been okay. Not more, not less. The usual stuff, mostly vanilla and it had been satisfying, she'd never asked for more. But Hunter was anything but Vanilla. He had awoken this naughty, dark side of Ella, taking her sexuality to the next level. 

The sound of an incoming WhatsApp message interrupted her thoughts. She took her phone and saw it was a text from Henry. Her heart skipped a beat when she started reading.

Hey Ella, here's the promised piece of evidence.

Ella gasped when she saw the picture of Henry's bare back that was taken in front of a mirror. This man was built like a greek god. But he was right, there was only a light burn along his spine. A light red trace that didn't look too bad.

Thanks. Looks good. That's a relief.

Just seconds after she'd sent her answer her mobile rang. Henry. Now her heart started racing.

"Hello?" "Hey, it's Henry again." "Yeah, I know. Hi." Ella was glad it wasn't a video call this time because -of course- she was blushing again just for the sound of his voice. "What's up?" "Well, I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed our chat earlier. And I was thinking and wondering if you might want to talk to me again and if you maybe even want to see me again...all of me. Not only my back. And...yeah...what I'm trying to ask is if you would go out with me. On a date." "Um...yes...sure. That would be nice." Ella said without hesitation. Seemingly her brain had erased all doubts about dating someone from her mind successfully. "Really? Okay. Great! So what about dinner on Saturday? Gonna pick you up at seven?" "Saturday it is." Ella said. "Where do we go?" "What about Italian?" Henry suggested. "Oh yes. I love Italian food. There are a few good restaurants here in Uxbridge." Henry hesitated for a moment. "I'd rather take you to a place I know in Notting Hill. It's really nice and cosy." "Ok. Great. Do I have to dress up?" "Well it's not the Ritz. It's sophisticated but not too fancy. You're going to like it." "Good. I'm gonna text you my address."

~~~~~~~~~

tbc

[crystxlclear]

sudden desire

chapter two: coffee times ten

part three of sudden desire

prologue / one / masterlist

in which two best friends won’t admit they’re in love so decide to have a baby together instead.

pairing: marcus pike x original female character

summary: coffee, coffee and more coffee. coraline ropes marcus into babysitting duties.

word count: 4.4k

warnings: the slightest smidge of angst? boyfriend material marcus (needs his own warning because he’s soft af), mentions of divorce? mentions of pregnancy? two idiots being domestic af without realising it. honestly i’m just pulling these warnings out of my ass idk what counts anymore

author’s note: sorry if there’s any errors, i’m honestly the world’s worst proofreader (last time i went to post this, there were still passages from when this wasn’t fanfiction and marcus was an actor like cora, cause that would have made total sense!) but also i get super hypercritical so it’s best if i just don’t read and reread my work oops... anyway, enjoy!

Monday morning comes and she’s wearing the dress that he likes. It's the yellow one she wore the day they met, the reason he calls her sunshine, and she smiles as she sweeps effortlessly into the coffee shop. Coraline pushes the sunglasses she's wearing up onto her head and greets him with a hug and a small 'hello' muffled against his shoulder. 

It's only January but the sun still seeps in too brightly through the shop's thatched windows; it casts her in a halo of gold as she sits in the armchair across from him. Even despite the warmth pooling in the air, he can tell she's still cold, from the way her shoulders shrink inwards and she wraps her arms around herself. If she is cold, she doesn't let him know, just takes a moment to run her hands up her arms before wrapping them around the mug of coffee he'd ordered her. He'd told her to go see someone about it — constant chills aren't exactly normal — but she'd refused, brushing off his concern with a simple shrug of her shoulders and an insistence that she'd be fine. She'd also pointed out that it was, in fact, January and it was meant to be cold, even if it wasn't. It still hasn't stopped him from worrying, though. 

"You left early last night." He points out. Last night, some high-end gallery opening in downtown D.C., too many cameras and far too many people. He’d invited her as his plus one, purely platonically, of course, and because he knew she was the only friend he had that liked art just as much as he did, though she hadn't wanted to go. He hadn't blamed her, especially when they’d got there; Coraline's ex, Scott, and his new girlfriend had shown up, apparently friends with the gallery owner, their hands a little too wandering. If his ex and their new partner showed up, flouting their relationship in front of him, he'd be pretty upset and reluctant to go, too. He’d managed to persuade her to come the night before, albeit through incessant nagging, so much so that he thinks she probably only relented to shut him up. Though, looking back at it now, he wishes they had just stayed at home.

Coraline hums into her coffee cup. Her brown hair still falls in loose, half-styled curls around her face; she tucks a little behind her ear. "I was tired. My bed was calling," she insists with a bright smile. 

He doesn't entirely believe her, even though she's a pretty great actress and, consequently, just as good at hiding how she really feels. Because he knows she saw them last night. It was hard not to; a cramped room like that gave you no place to hide, and they weren't exactly being subtle. He saw the way she'd shuffle uncomfortably then their laughter would filter through the quiet space, soft but still piercing. Marcus was convinced that they were doing it on purpose, especially when he caught Scott stealing glances from across the room whenever he thought no one was looking. He was trying to get a reaction and, being as graceful as she was, she hadn't given him that, even if she had spent the entire night with her brows furrowed and wearing a smile he could tell was fake.

He watches her curiously; the way she sips her coffee slowly, how her hair curls softly against her neck, the gentle curve of her pink lips that seems permenant around him. But he’s never been the most subtle, at least, not around her. She notices him staring, gaze lingering for far too long over the gentle contours of her face, and their eyes meet for a second; they're immediately lit by another even brighter smile that pulls across her glossed lips. "What?" She questions. Her cheeks always flush pink whenever he looks at her for longer than a moment. 

He shakes his head, returning her smile, perhaps a little too enthusiastically when his teeth peak through a little. "Nothing, I just-" I just want you to be happy, he thinks. But he doesn't say it, because she must know that already, and just shakes his head. "Nothing." He repeats. 

"You're staring."

"I am not."

"Yes, you are." She chuckles, poking his leg with the toe of her boot. “Why are you staring?”

"Cora, I'm not staring."

He is staring. He can't help it. Especially when she smiles. 

She regards him for a second. Sometimes, he wonders if she can read his mind, given the way her eyes trace over his face like she's reading a book. Truthfully, he wouldn’t mind if she did read his mind. "I'm fine." She answers the unspoken question lingering thick in the air. The real reason he's looking at her like he is. A laugh lilts at the edges of her insistence and he can tell that she's lying; there's a furrow pulling at her eyebrows that gives her away. He’s learned to look for it. "Why wouldn't I be?" She knows exactly why. But it seems like that's all they talk about, how she is. And she doesn't want to anymore. She's fine. 

Because your ex-husband spent the entire night trying to make you jealous, he wants to say. But he doesn't. He leaves it alone.

Marcus leant back in his chair. He doesn't push it. "No reason." 

Coraline peers at him over the top of her coffee cup — it's almost too big for her hands — but she doesn't press it further, even if she does raise her eyebrows a little. Or, at least, she doesn't get a chance too, because someone is calling out to her from across the coffee shop. "No reason." She repeats with a soft hum. 

She peels her eyes away from Marcus, almost like it's some great hardship to stop looking at him, and turns her smile towards whoever had called her name. He recognises her as Loren Hull, Coraline's childhood best friend, struggling to push through the door with a stroller, even as someone holds the door open for her and another helps her inside. 

Coraline watches with amusement as Loren teeters towards them. "How are you?" She asks as she hugs her. Her attention switches towards the gurgling baby in the stroller; she was chewing on a toy, far too preoccupied to pay attention to anything that was going on around her. That was until she catches sight of Coraline and cries out with glee. "And how's my favourite goddaughter?" She coos. 

Loren huffs out a groan. Her blonde hair is tied haphazardly on top of her head, curls spilling out at either side, falling into her face. There are dark circles beneath her green eyes. "She's great-" She grins down at her daughter for a moment before her head throws back. "But I'm exhausted." She's talking far too fast, the words falling from her mouth, in the same way, an almost nonsensical rambling might. It's almost like she thinks that, if she doesn't talk fast, she'll never be able to get the words out. "I can't stay long- oh, hey, Marcus-" It's like in her hurry and she hasn't noticed he's there until now. He doesn't blame her; Coraline has mentioned that she's still getting to grips with being a single mom. "-but I need coffee otherwise I'm going to pass out."

Coraline is grinning down at Loren's daughter, Maisie, whispering soft 'hello's at her, completely distracted by the baby who seemed just as captivated. The baby giggles and reaches for Cora's fingers, kicking her legs excitedly under the pink blanket. "I could look after her tonight if you need some rest." Her eyes don't leave Maisie, who's tiny fingers wrap tightly around Coraline's pointer finger. Half of him wonders if she'd actually meant to offer her help or if the whispers had come out before she had chance to think them through. 

"You could?" Loren's face lights up with relief. 

"Of course!" Cora's eyes come to rest on Marcus. "Would you mind?" 

"Not at all." He shoots her a smile. They're meant to be seeing a movie. It's some horror film he's never heard of; he isn't a massive fan of horror but Coraline had wanted to see it — it had something to do with her and her father watching horror films together when she was younger, even if they were terrible and laughably cheesy — and had managed to persuade him the night before at the gala, when they were both a little too tipsy and he was trying his best to distract her as Scott's lips dragged over his new girlfriend's neck. He'd glanced up every now and then, just to see if she was watching them. Luckily, she never was. 

"Oh, you're a lifesaver." Loren exhales, like she's been underwater for months and her head has only just poked above the surface. "Both of you." She turns to Marcus and flashes him a bright but exhausted smile. 

"What are best friend's for?" Cora chuckles as Loren pulls away to order her drink. "Drop her off later."

"I'll be by at seven," she announces as she grabs her drink, backing the stroller out of the coffee shop with decidedly more grace than when she'd entered. Patrons part the way for her and she murmurs a 'sorry' at everyone she passes or accidentally whacks with her nappy bag. 

Coraline's eyes linger on the baby for a few moments longer as they leave; her expression flickers, softening, like she's considering something, like she's plagued by conflict. Coraline taps her fingers on the table, perfect pale pink nails rapping a steady beat against the wood. Eventually, her eyebrows furrow and she draws back into herself, like realisation has hit and she's snapped herself back to reality. 

"Are you sure you don't mind? You can find something else to do, you don't have to become a pro bono babysitter with me." She wants him to help her out. She really does. She tries not to let the hopeful glint reach her eyes.

But she feels especially bad because Marcus rarely has days off. It's a rare Sunday when he's in between cases and hasn’t been dragged in on a weekend. And she's dragging him along to look after a baby he's never even met before. 

He shakes his head. "Why would I mind?" He gets to spend time with her. He enjoys her company too much to turn her down.

She shrugs and takes another sip of her drink. He can tell by the way that she scowls that it's gone a little cold. He doesn't know how she drinks it, anyway. There's too much caramel — it was far too sweet — but she seemed to like it and he'd seen her tired self go through three in an hour before. "Changing diapers isn't exactly a thrilling pastime."

"I'm sure I'll live."

Coraline pushes herself to her feet. A breeze ruffles the skirt of her dress, billowing the pale yellow fabric against her knees like it had a mind of its own. She finishes off the last drops of her drink and sighs. "Well, then, we’re going to need some more coffee."

...

Coraline has been rushing around her apartment for most of the day. She isn't sure if she's nervous or if she just has too much caffeine buzzing through her veins. Perhaps it's both. She's not even aware of her surroundings, only that Marcus has been sitting on the couch trying to get her to relax for the past hour and she's fussed meticulously over every square inch of her apartment at least three times. She just needs to keep her hands busy. 

"Cora, she's a baby." He chuckles as Coraline scowls at the magazines on the coffee table. She bends down to straighten them, huffing out an inpatient breath as she does so. "She's not going to care what your apartment looks like."

She ignores him, turning swiftly on her heels to straighten out the woollen throw draping over her couch. "Relax," Marcus insists. He watches her with concern as she pauses, sucks in a shallow breath and turns to slump down against the opposite end of the couch. Her head falls back against the cushions. "What's wrong?"

"It's just-" She doesn't even know what she means to say. She doesn't really have an explanation for it — why she's frantically rushing around her apartment trying to keep her mind off Maisie and the babysitting job she'd found herself — so she doesn't bother offering one. Maybe it's because all she can think about is how much she'd wanted a baby when she was with Scott and how she has no idea what she wants anymore, now that he's gone and she's alone again. Everything's so confusing now; she can barely bring herself to think about it. It just doesn't make sense. Coraline tells Marcus a lot of things (he probably knows more about her than Loren does, and they'd been best friends since they were six) but some things just weren't for sharing. Maybe he already knows. She hopes he does, it would make things much easier, and then she doesn’t have to bite back pointless tears when she eventually tells him. 

Coraline lets out an overly-dramatic sigh and turns her head towards Marcus. He's still watching her, brown eyes softer now. He smiles and she shakes her head to clear away the thoughts. "I'm glad you're here, you know," she admits. Her eyes drag back up to the ceiling. 

"Of course you are. You'd never survive without me." He quips. 

"Oh, sure. How I ever managed to live twenty-eight years without you, I'll never know."

Marcus' eyes crease at the corner as he laughs a little at his joke. "I know you'll be good at this whole baby thing." She lulls her head to the side to watch him; she shuffles against her hip, resting her cheek against the dimpled green couch cushion and watches him as his dark eyes light up. In the time that she's known him, barely even six months, though it seems like far longer, she can only think of a handful of times when she'd seen him without a smile. Even then, most of those were after a long day of paperwork, and she could usually make him smile after a few minutes of prodding at him to tell her what's wrong. 

"I have work early tomorrow." Coraline points out. "This was a bad idea. I should be sleeping."

"Well, you did offer.”

"I know, and it was a terrible idea." She sighs. "Y’know, I think Maisie hates me."

"Maisie is a baby, Cora."

"Babies still have feelings, Marcus."

He chuckles. "She loves you, don't be ridiculous."

His words are punctuated by a knock on the door. It's almost frantic, like whoever's on the other side's intentions are urgent. Coraline groans a little as she stands up; she knows exactly who it is and she drags her feet towards the door, trying her best to push past her concern. She lowers her head to the door's peephole before yanking it open. She has a wide grin on her face when she greets Loren and Maisie. "Good evening." Her voice is lilting, soft and bright and cheerful, like Marcus is used to hearing. It makes him smile, the way she's gone from a worry that seemed to be spreading rapidly through her back to her bright self. He's never seen her so panicked, even around her ex; she's normally so laid back and relaxed. 

Coraline pulls the door open a little further before sweeping Maisie and her stroller inside. Loren murmurs that she's asleep and Cora starts to rock the stroller back and forth, trying her best to keep the baby asleep for as long as she can. It gave her time to regain her scattered composure. Marcus pushes himself up from the armchair he'd been reclined in and sweeps over to take Maisie from Coraline and away from the entryway. 

"Oh-" It startles her a little, when his hands reach out and fingers accidentally brush over her wrist. "Thank you." She smiles at him softly as he backs the stroller out into the living room. 

"Marcus is here?" Loren's eyes light up and a grin pulls at her lips when he falls out of earshot. Her eyebrows raise playfully. 

"Yes."

Her grin only widens. "Are you on a date?"

"No." Coraline scoffs. 

Loren doesn't seem to be giving up and she certainly doesn't believe her. She never does, not usually. She seems to have convinced herself that Cora and Marcus are in love or secretly dating, or both. "This is a date, isn't it?"

"It's not a date, Loren." Cora rolls her eyes but she can't help but smile. She tried to conceal it but she can't stifle the way her corners quirk upwards. It's most definitely not a date — that had ever even crossed her mind — and it's just hilarious how Loren seems to be convinced that her oldest friend is harbouring a secret affection for her best friend. She looks between them both with a glint in her blue eyes, like she knows something they don't and she's just waiting for them to figure it out. Except there’s nothing to figure out. They’re friends. Just friends.

"Whatever you say.” She giggles. Loren smiles back at Marcus, who's stood back by the couch, rocking the stroller back and forth. Coraline follows her gaze and smiles fondly at him; he's not paying attention to them and he doesn't notice the way they're both watching him. 

"We're just friends," Coraline insists again as she turns back to Loren. 

"Sure you are." She smirks. ”I promise I won’t say ‘I told you so’.”

"Just go." Coraline takes her best friend by the shoulders and guides her back out of the door but she can't help the smile that spills onto her lips again. 

"Can I be your maid of honour?"

"Go home and sleep!" 

"Please!"

"I'm shutting the door now, goodbye."

"There are diapers in the bag and she's already been fed," Loren adds hastily as Coraline inched the door shut. "I'll be back in a few hours."

...

Maisie slept for a little while, but now she's wide awake, giggling and trying her best to grab Coraline's curls. The baby sits on Cora's lap, small fingers reaching out towards her insistently. She'd offer her one of the toys Loren had left for her but she only seems interested in them for a few seconds before Coraline's hair tumbles over her shoulder and she grows distracted again. 

She's torn between tying her hair up or just letting Maisie tug on it to her heart's content. But she doesn't; she just lightly whispers no with a shake of her head, a smile and a shake of whatever toy she reaches for first. And it's a never-ending cycle until finally, Maisie decides that hair isn't for her and she prefers the blue teething ring that Coraline reaches for last.

"You really are great with her,” Marcus comments. 

She chuckles, a breathy laugh through her nose. "I'm great with everyone." She pokes her tongue at the corner of her lip and grins. He notices, when she does that, says something about herself being great or that she's good at something, her cheeks flush pink a little. She only means it as a joke, he knows that, but it's almost like it embarrasses her to say or think anything like that. Her eyes betray the way she struggles with it. 

"I have nephews." She shrugs. "I was a great babysitter back in the day."

Maisie makes a gleeful noise, halfway between a squeal and a laugh, and drops the teething ring to the sofa, disinterested. She makes a grab for Coraline's hair again, reaching forward to try and swipe it between her fingers. But Cora's own fingers block her clutches. "No," she whispers quietly with a smile and a chuckle. She pushes her small hand away gently but Maisie delights in it, face illuminating in a grin, and reaches out for Coraline’s curls insistently. 

Marcus reaches down to pick up the toy as Coraline laughs, too distracted to even bother. His arm brushes hers as he does so. She's always struck by how warm he is. The first time she'd noticed it, the day they'd first met, she thought it was because of the sun streaming in through the briefing room’s glass windows. But she’d noticed it every single time he’d touched her since — even just the slightest touch or brush of a hand — until she thinks she’s used to it. She isn’t. His touch warms whatever bare skin it touches immediately and she shudders; Marcus doesn't seem to notice and she's glad because she doesn't want to explain that one fleeting touch from him warms up her entire, otherwise freezing, body.

It's a cliche, she knows that. The kind of cliche you read about in cheesy romance novels. It makes her cheeks burn — Coraline knows she's going bright red; she can feel it crawling slowly over her skin and she shivers like there's a cold breeze dancing it's way up the back of her neck — because she doesn't know what it means. She's never really felt it before she met him, this odd, confusing burn that started in her chest, then blooms out like flowers through her whole body. She usually just brushes it off because it happens whenever and wherever, without warning It just arrives out of the blue, triggered by a glance or a laugh or the briefest touch of a hand. It's ridiculous but she can't help but turn it over and over and over in her mind at night, when she tries to sleep, until she's restless and staring at the wooden beams that stretch across her bedroom ceiling. 

"Do you want kids?" Coraline asks. It’s out of the blue. Her expression almost makes it seem like she wants him to ask her the question, like she's desperate to talk about it with someone, anyone, before it bursts from her chest. Although, he can't help but wonder if she never meant to ask, or if she regrets asking, given the way her eyes fall back to Maisie who's resumed her chewing on the teething ring again. Though, Coraline barely realises she's given anything away. Then again, she doesn't even realise that there is anything to give away. She's so enchanted by the baby and the brush of Marcus' arm against hers that she's giving away maybe a little more than she intends. It's strange to see her like this given her flustered panic of just an hour earlier. 

Marcus takes a moment, a pause to figure out the right answer, then he nods a little. "I would, yes. Some day." He pauses for another second, watching the way her eyes glimmer as she looks at her goddaughter. He already knows her answer before he even asks the question. Or, at least, the real answer. "Do you?"

Coraline's eyes light up; her blue eyes look like the sky on a sunny day. "Maybe," she hums. When she looks up to meet his eyes, the small smile she gives betrays the truth. But she cuts it off like it's wrong or forbidden or downright ridiculous, like she shouldn't feel those things. He notices the way her lips falter like she's biting back the urge to say something, a secret on the tip of her tongue, and how she tugs her lower lip in between her teeth to stop her from smiling again. 

He thinks he knows what makes her so unsure about that. Why she cuts herself off and seems to tell herself it's wrong. She's mentioned it once before, when she was tired — she talks a lot when she's tired, but it's mostly incoherent mumblings that he has to admit, he finds adorable — that Scott didn't want kids. Marcus has never brought up what she’d told him (if she really wants him to know, she'd have told him by now, when she's completely coherent and conscious) but it tugs at the edge of his thoughts as her sentences go quiet when she sees a mother and their baby. They make her smile fondly. It's a smile that's been all-too-lacking since her divorce. 

He understands. It’s happened to him before, twice now. Twice he’s faced heartbreak, that horrible moment when things go sour. When you’re left with a million little ‘what ifs’, wondering where exactly things went so wrong. Wondering if there was anything you could have done, anything at all, to make things better. It’s a dull ache that sits deep in his chest. And it’s agonising. He hates how familiar the feeling has become. 

Marcus has never told her about his past relationships - about his first marriage and eventual divorce, about his last engagement and how it had ended almost as quickly as it had begun, how he’d found himself alone in D.C. without a soul in the world to talk to - and he also hasn’t told her that meeting her was like a fresh start, like the sun had finally peaked through the rain clouds that had hung over his head for so long. She’d helped him settle, finally, even after six months struggling to feel at home in a new, lonely city. She’d welcomed him, helped him find new friends, and stuck by him the entire time. She doesn’t have to be his friend; he’s sure she has much cooler, younger friends that don’t spend most of their days hunched over an ever-growing mountain of paperwork or hidden away inside some tiny downtown art gallery. Sure, he’d be upset if their weekly meetings came to a halt, but he wouldn’t blame her if she chose someone more like herself over him.

Mostly, Marcus just hadn't wanted to dredge up old feelings, not when she was in the thick of a divorce and clearly struggling, no matter how much she pretended she was okay. So he never told her what had happened. When she'd confided in him for the first time those few short months ago, spilling her deepest secrets, staying up until 3am just pouring her heart out to him over the phone, he'd wondered if it was best to tell her. To let her know that he knew how she felt, that he understood. But he still hasn't. She’s asked about his past before, nagging until he relented and revealed things he's never really had much trouble revealing before, and he has told her parts of it. But he usually skirts around the details, like there's nothing important to reveal. He isn't sure why he does it, especially when she opens up to him so easily. He guesses that the moment has never seemed right. 

Maisie's hand is twisted into the fabric of Coraline's dress. She shakes the teething ring in her hands like it's a rattle. "I've never had the chance," she admits, suddenly. "To have kids."

"You've still got time."

"Barely." She sighs. He raises an eyebrow, like he's asking her what she means, but she doesn't continue. She waves a hand and brushes off his concern. "It's not important," she insists. 

But it is important. He knows it is. And, if it matters to her, it matters to him.

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

Oh, I will be the first to admit that messing with people's memories is highly questionable at best, and the Moonlaces know that. They spent ages agonizing over the decision, going back and forth over it all and trying to figure out if there was any other conceivable way. But they wanted to give little Calliope as much protection as they possibly could, and the best way to do that was to make sure no one could trace her back to them, and small children don't exactly excel at keeping secrets. So, even though it tore them up inside, they came to the conclusion that it was for the best that she not remember them, at least not until after the war.

Talia ended up being the one who worked the magic. It just so happened that in the course of her work in her private cursebreaking firm (which focuses on cursed objects and people, and involves no raiding of tombs) she had come across rather a few memory spells and through figuring out how to unravel them had gained a unique understanding of how they worked. She knew the subtle difference between erasing and suppressing a memory, and how best to make it retrievable at a later date without harming the person in question.

However, this? Making Calliope forget everything she'd ever known in preparation for sending her away? This was extremely emotionally stressful for Talia. In many ways she was more Calliope's mother than their shared mother was. Mr.&Mrs. Moonlace, while loving parents, had always been very busy people, working Ministry jobs (that I've never specified lol) and so whenever she was available to Talia ended up handling Calliope's day-to-day care. If Talia wasn't able to watch her Calliope was with their brother and his boyfriend/fiance/husband/whatever label they were using that week. (I'll talk about them in another ask because they're fun) So, yeah, the older siblings had essentially split custody of Calliope most of her life, they were the ones who were raising this little girl for the most part. They were the ones most heartbroken over this turn of events. And in turn those extreme emotions effected the magic. That wish Talia was holding in her heart that she didn't have to do this, that Calliope could have kept her memory, influenced the spell and, unbeknownst to Talia, it was incomplete. Calliope would always have vague memories of her birthfamily, and of just how loved she was. And those memories would only unobscure themselves more over time. Never completely, it would never break on it's own, but still.

The Moonlaces had always intended to find her after the war, to make themselves known and restore her memory. If she was happy with her muggle parents they weren't going to take her away, but they intended to be a part of her life again in whatever way they could. Unfortunately, by the time the war ended and it was safe that young muggle couple had divorced and moved, and they had no way of knowing where they had gone, or which parent Calliope had gone with, leaving the poor Moonlace family utterly heartbroken once again. They could only hope that Calliope would reenter the wizarding world on her own one day, and that by chance they'd meet again.

I'll likewise admit that there are justifiable situations when it comes to the use of memory charms. There's obliviating muggles to protect the secrecy of the wizarding world, and...yeah, that's about it. Even that is a bit of a gray area, especially if they realize what you're about to do and express opposition to it. I guess you could also argue that it's okay, if a person is say, blackmailing you with private information, to respond with the ultimate power move and erase said information (and nothing else) from their mind. Basically what Talbott wanted to do to Merula. Sure, you could make a case for that...but I don't know, I'm still not sure about it. In this case? Sorry, I'm still gonna say I don't approve, even if I'm sure they thought they were doing the right thing. It's the inverse of what Hermione did, and yet it's also so much worse because it was parents doing it to their young child.

Oh my god, the more I hear about this, the more it's kind of like the most recent storyline in Doctor Who, for those who have seen it, except with an arguably more noble storyline. The whole idea of a certain figure in the child's life being more important to them than their birth parents is something else I will never not relate to for the personal reasons of my own life shenanigans. Actually, this entire idea reminds me a lot of the Remembrance timeline because this is basically what Luca goes through, being subjected to a memory charm that is incomplete (though in their case, it's because they have inherent resistance to mental magic at the time, long story) but damn if this tale isn't tugging on my heartstrings. I cannot help but love that Talia made a wish and it came true, all through magic. That is actually destroying me with how beautiful it is, how dare you. That said, as much as the tragedy of them losing her in the sea of the muggle world does make me choke up as well...I mean, what did they expect? It's kind of the risk they took.

[living-after-death-blog1]

The Day My Daughter Died.. (An introduction to the end and the beginning)

I received a phone call from my daughter's best friend, Alli, at about 2:30pm on that day. She told me that she had just left work and was on her way to my daughter's house, after receiving a frantic phone call from my daughter's roommate, Kenneth, who said that he had come home and found her unconscious, with a needle in her hand. He had called an ambulance, he had attempted CPR, and was now waiting outside of the house while the emergency personnel did their thing inside.

I think it was already pretty well established that my daughter was gone, and I think that this was probably communicated to me, but my brain literally wouldn't grasp it. I wasn't devastated; I was terrified. I spent the entire conversation (which was probably at least 20 minutes long) thinking that we didn't know anything yet, feeling like I was frozen, like everything around me was happening in slow motion, and that I was just holding my breath until the moment when Alli could finally get to the house and someone could tell us what was going on. I thought we were waiting to hear that she'd been trànsported or something. It honestly hadn't occurred to me until just now that simply knowing that Kenneth had attempted CPR should have been enough information to answer to the only question that was looping through my mind, over and over, until Alli arrived. "Is she breathing?"

I was 4 hours away, in another city.

Once Alli arrived, there were people everywhere; policemen, emergency responders, tons of neighborhood spectators, and Kenneth, the roommate. I was still on the phone, waiting, while he and Alli had a brief conversation, which I couldn't really hear and I finally interrupted to ask what I thought we'd been waiting to find out this whole time.. "But.. is she still breathing?"

At that point, I heard Alli take a deep breath and, very slowly, and with such pain, she said the words that made it real.

"No, Stephanie. She's gone."

I remember taking a deep breath and saying, "Okay."

It almost felt like, "Well.. Here we are. This is actually happening. You know, that thing that happens to other people, but not your child, not you? It's happening. Right now."

Another deep breath, and once again, " Okay.. "

I remember thinking that I needed to hold it together somehow, because I was going to have to handle and figure out a lot of things, and I really, really needed to be able to think. I just had to think. Figure this all out somehow, as if it were a problem that could be solved.

I did what I've always done when I need to call upon an extreme coping skill. I stopped feeling, and I started thinking. Intellectualizing, my therapist, Becca, the one from my daughter's first treatment center, used to call it.

I called upon that skill in that moment. Think. Think about what other people are going through, feeling, experiencing. Think about how everyone else feels, so you don't have to look at what this really is. Don't even get close to it.

That is the moment that I apologized to Alli for having to be the one to make such a horrible phone call, telling someone's mother that they are dead, and thanked her for being that person, at the same time. I thanked her for being a good friend. I told her I loved her. Said I'd be available for the police or whoever needs to speak to next of kin, and told her to give them my number.

I called my boyfriend first, in a panic; I had to get home, I had to get to Houston, and I had to get there NOW. I couldn't drive, and all I could think was how I needed to get there, I had to get there, and I needed to get there NOW. No answer.

I called my ex-husband (not the father of my daughter, but of two sons, ages 15 and 18, at the time) and, not realizing that the boys were in the car with him or that he had answered on speaker, I started screaming that my daughter was dead, she was dead, and I didn't know what to do. Of course, after finding out that the boys had overhead, I called both of them to apologize that they had had to hear me like that, to hear the news that way.

I don't remember very much of the next few weeks. The things I do remember are choppy, like random scenes from a movie, but I remember those things vividly.

I realized that I had to tell people. Who? Who is the first person you call to announce your daughter's death?

I called my mom first, I think, and I listened to her sob and repeat, "Noooo..." over and over.

I called my daughter's other grandmother, on her father's side, and I listened as she cried and kept saying, "Oh my god.."

I called my daughter's ex-boyfriend, Javi, the father of my granddaughter, who was 8 at the time, and he couldn't believe it, couldn't accept it, either; jumped in his car to go over there. I guess he needed to see it with his own eyes.

I spoke to another of my daughter's best friends, Jessica (she happened to text me, so I thought she already knew, and when I realized that she didn't, I told her to call me. She asked me, "How bad is it?" I said, "Bad."), and then she, too, immediately drove over to the house to meet up with Alli, Kenneth, and Javi.

I couldn't listen to any more breaking hearts at the moment, so as fucked up as it seems now, I just started texting people.

I texted my friend, Sarah, who, along with her entire family, have been like family to us. I don't even know how I said it. I think I said, "I'm so sorry to tell you like this, but they found her this morning, unconscious, with a needle, and she didn't make it. " Sarah immediately called me, and started screaming, " What? What? " as if she couldn't hear me. Her mind, too, couldn't seem to allow this to be real.

I spoke to my friends, Theresa and Joie, sisters, and they immediately offered all kinds of practical help that hadn't even occurred to me, such as setting up a GoFundMe account to pay for funeral expenses. I had been laid off from my job of over ten years several months prior, and so all of the life insurance policies and everything I'd been so used to just having were no longer available, and I had nothing.

Joie also posted on Facebook on my behalf. It was the only way I could think of to let everyone know, especially my daughter's friends, and it was because of all of these people, and so many more, that I have managed to get through this last year.

I don't know what I did to deserve such wonderful people in my life, but I am surrounded by them. The GoFundMe account reached over $5000 within a couple of days.

My daughter's best friend from middle school is a hair and makeup artist, and she flew in from Colorado to make sure that she was the one who did the makeup for the viewing. That was always their thing, and even though my daughter's addiction had driven them apart over the years, Vikki had to do this one last thing for her friend, and I was happy to have her do it.

Sarah's ex-boyfriend, who knew my daughter as a child, took care of all of the flowers and arrangements.

Sarah's mom has a friend who was able to make a dress for my daughter to wear during the viewing; an Alice in Wonderland dress, because that was always her thing.

Sarah and her mom had already found the cheapest most decent funeral home that they knew of (her mom had used the place for her own mother's service), so I literally spent the next few days just having to answer yes and no questions.

It turned out that since my daughter never divorced the father of her second child (my grandson, Isaac, who was almost 7 at the time), even though they'd been separated and out of contact for a few years (she was engaged to someone else for at least a year), he was her next of kin, not me, and this brought forth a whole host of issues. He doesn't raise their son, his mother does, because he is either 1) insane, 2) brain damaged from drug use, 3) currently using drugs, or 4) a combination of all of the above. These things made the entire process very difficult for me.

They tried to dictate who could be invited to the funeral, which I wasn't on board with. They threatened me by saying that they would have her body transferred to the funeral home of their choosing and they would let me know when and where to show up. They said I could not have any locks of her hair. They said they would not split up her ashes. They even dictated to me that she be cremated, because they somehow knew (having only known her for a few years, and not knowing her at all, really, for the few years prior to her death) that she wanted to be cremated and that she wanted her ashes spread over the ocean.

I won't ever be able to understand why someone would treat the mother of a dead child the way that they treated me, but I've just added them to the list of people I'll have to figure out how to forgive somehow, eventually.

Everyone showed up for us, and I was so grateful for the presence of every single one of them. People I hadn't seen or spoken to in years, such as my ex-husband's ex-boss's ex-wife, lol.

I placed a son for adoption when I was 19, and though I had met him in person once, he and my other kids had not met. He and my daughter had been talking a lot on social media, and he had planned to come visit and meet everyone in May, after he graduated college, but ended up coming in April for her funeral, instead. He never even got to hear her voice.

There is so much I want to use this blog for. I want to document my own journey through this grief. I want to talk about addiction and help destigmatize the way people view addicts. I want to offer resources and maybe even hope. And I want to remember my daughter.

Her name was Jade. She was 26 years old when she died. She was one of the funniest, coolest, most creative, beautiful people you could have ever known. Yes, the addiction was a part of her journey, her struggle, but she was more than that. And I intend to honor ALL of who she was, by speaking the truth.

The truth is that she died from the toxic effects of an accidental overdose of heroin and methamphetamine. But that's just one part of her story, and mine, and I need to tell them both, even if no one ever reads a single word I type. I need to tell these stories.

Since I started with her death, here is a photo recap of what there is to know so far:

#grief #overdose #addiction #loss #bereavement #grieving

[marshmallowatheart]

To All The Boys I've Loved Before (Part 17)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16)

Dear Veronica

I had a lot of fun at the zoo, we should go again sometime. Maybe we'll get a chance to see the pandas?

- L

P.S I thoroughly enjoyed your leaning tower of chocolate cake.

Veronica chuckles at the note, remembering how thoroughly he had enjoyed it. She makes a mental note that chocolate goodies are kryptonite against Logan Echolls.

She wonders what other foods he likes. Does he like lasagne as much as she does? She remembers that he's allergic to shellfish, was there anything else he was allergic to? She tries pulling out memories that she'd long ago sealed away and she wonders if he still likes honey on his toast.

--vm--

"Look what the cat dragged in, Veronica Mars," Trina smirks, descending down the staircase like she's in a movie and this is the moment everyone's been dying to see.

Veronica gives her a small smile and a head bob. "Hey Trina, how's it going?"

"I thought you were in Australia," Logan says; he would have postponed this dinner if he'd know his sister was back in town. Trina's an unpredictable wild force of nature that would embarrass him without a second thought for her own amusement - he doesn't want to have to deal with that when he has all of these other added pressures in making this dinner go well.

"Yeah, well, I'm back baby bro," she grins, enjoying the fact that he's rattled with her presence. Trina's always had the most fun when people didn't want her to be there. "So I've clearly been out of the loop lately. Are you two together now?"

Logan's hand finds Veronica's and he starts to tug her away to the kitchen or any other room where his sister is not. "Yeah," he answers. "Hey, if you're back home who's playing Dead Hooker number 2 on CSI?"

Trina rolls her eyes and decidingly ignores her brother in favour for the blonde beside him. "Veronica, look at you. All grown up. Hey, we should go shopping sometime now that I'm back in town."

Veronica nods her head, offering the aspiring star a smile. "Sure, Trina."

--vm--

It feels like she's living in a flashback of her life when she settles down at the Echolls' dinning room table. The home decor hasn't changed much - minus all of the Aaron Echolls' blockbuster movie posters that were once plastered along the walls - Lynn Echolls is still the charming hostess she always was (though she does look lighter and more radiant than ever before).

Veronica's happy to see that it's still Mrs Navarro cooking that's filling up the table - she'd always made delicious food that tasted like heaven on a plate.

"Logan tells me you have two sisters," Lynn says, bright smile and pearly white teeth. "Your mother must love having three girls."

"Her mother's not with them anymore, mom," he says, wide-eyed and pointedly, before Veronica can even get a word in.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Veronica," she amends, bashful and eyes full of sympathy. "I remember now."

"It's okay," Veronica assures her, picking at her food with her fork. "Dad, he loves having three girls," she adds in, trying to de-spell the awkward tension. "But you know I think he secretly wanted one of us to be a boy, someone to play catch with and go fishing," she chuckles, hoping to ease up any of Lynn's concerns. "I don't mind the sports but fishing is way too gruesome."

Lynn chuckles along with her, sensing what the petite blonde is doing and welcomes it. She continues to cut her meat and mentions, "Maybe he can take Logan with him the next time he wants to go fishing."

Trina snorts, loudly and radically. "Logan's so spoiled, he might as well be a girl," she remarks. "Don't let his tough-boy looks fool you, Veronica Mars. Logan won't survive a day without a household staff and take-out."

Logan is already regretting accepting his mother's invitation for dinner.

Veronica humours Trina with an uneasy chuckle and at the same time defends her faux boyfriend. "He did help me bake some cookies once so maybe there's hope for him yet."

Logan gives her a smile and she reciprocates the gesture, feeling her heart swell at the way his eyes seemed to light up.

--vm--

After dinner, Logan pulls Veronica away to the pool house because Trina is wildly inappropriate and his mother gets a call from her agent and reaches for a drink so he knows she's getting bad news.

It fills him with disappointment whenever he sees her fall into old habits but his mother definitely takes bad news better than his father used to. And well at least his mother doesn't drink herself into oblivion anymore.

Logan busies himself behind the counter, getting out drinks and snacks for them and Veronica plops on the counter near him.

He lets out a breath, handing her a soda and says, "Hey, I'm really sorry about what my mom said to you."

Veronica shakes her head. "It's fine. It's nice to know that not everybody has 'drunk mother abandons family' in the back of their mind when they talk to me," she jokes, swaying slightly on his counter.

He nods his head, he gets it, there's always been some headline attached to his name and he basks in moments when he's just Logan - those moments seem so few and far but when he's with Veronica, he feels like he's just him.

"Do you miss her?"

"I miss the person she used to be," Veronica offers softly. "She wasn't always drunk," she says, reminding him and herself. "She used to come to my soccer games, we'd bake cookies and prepare dinner together. Stuff that mothers are supposed to do, you know?"

He nods his head, he has vague memories of her when he'd first moved here; Lianne Mars was nice to him and it was the first time he didn't mind the company of someone else’s mother.

"But those were in between the bad moments," she swallows. Her eyes falling from Logan to her can of soda. "Sometimes she'd miss picking me up from school because she was passed out drunk. Or she'd burn the waffles because she was too dazed out."

She lets out a breath, trying to control her emotions as she shares this part of her with Logan. It's always been hard to talk about it but right now it feels like a bit easier with Logan.

"The months before she left, it got really bad," she meets Logan's eyes and he's attentively listening to her, offering her looks of understanding and silently waiting for her to continue. "Dad got calls to pick her up in the middle of the afternoon or at night," she sighs loudly and shrugs; it's a distant memory but it feels raw and as present as ever. "He tried for years to hide that side from us and then it got to the point where he couldn't anymore."

She bites her lips, she can feel tears caused by long ago memories start to brim in her eyes so she shakes her head and shrugs. Swallowing down her soda, hydrating herself as much as she can. She doesn't want to cry over this woman that's left them anymore. "There's moments I forget who she's turned into and I miss the times when we were happy with her."

"And then I remember that she left us," she comes off the counter, can in hand, searching for the bin and Logan lets her distract herself from her rising emotions. She spots it easily enough and throws it in.

She lets out a breath, looking at Logan and her voice feels hoarse that she wonders if she's at her limit talking about this but she still has these feelings that for some reason wants to let itself out now, to him. "Normal people get divorced when they're unhappy in their marriage but she didn't just leave my dad, she left all of us."

"Even though I was so angry, even though I know how bad things could get with her there, I wanted her back," she admits, it's one of her more vulnerable thoughts that not many people are privy off. "I would have welcomed her back if she came back to us."

She doesn't know how Logan's wiggled himself into being a person that she's comfortable enough to share this with - maybe it's because he's the only person that she's not lying to or maybe because he's been a friend that's allowed her to be vulnerable or maybe because he understands what she's talking about even if their emotions are derived from different situations.

"But she didn't, Logan, she left us, moved to Arizona and has this white picket fence life with a new family," she tells him and he's shook - she can see him registering the new information and she remembers how distraught she was when she'd learnt this.

"A family that she's there for, a family that she's sober for while we're left to think why weren't we enough?" Her voice cracks, she hates to admit that the thought still does creep up at times when she's particularly nostalgic.

"I found out last year," she confesses, a bitter smile gracing her lips. "Perks of spending afternoons at the Sheriff's departments and fiddling around with systems I'm not exactly authorized to," she lets out a humourless chuckle.

"I never told my dad or my sisters." She wouldn't be surprised if her dad knew - if he wanted to know, he'd know. "Just Wallace," she says in a quiet voice and meets his eyes once again. "And now you."

She gives him a half-smile when she says that, a silent thank you for listening. And he returns it, a silent thank you for trusting me.

"My mom drinks," he confesses, walking towards her - she's on the couch, pillow in her lap and looks at him in surprise.

"She doesn't drink as much as she used to - and as far as I can tell there's no more pill popping. But when Aaron was alive, things weren't good at all," he settles beside her sideways, his one leg folded with his arm on the back rest of the couch and his head is resting on his palm.

"He was the worst husband. Even worse father. He liked to portray the perfect family life on screen but we were far from it."

He's not used to this sharing thing. He's not ready to talk about everything that his father has done - he's not sure if he'll ever be - but he thinks if he ever is, Veronica might be the person he'd be able to confide to about it.

"I miss those good moments in between all the bad too," he offers.

He remembers a time - it feels like from another life - but there'd been a time when Aaron had been a father, when he was a kid, years leading up to his tenth birthday.

And then suddenly his father turned into this angry vengeful monster that took his anger out on his son, using anything he could get his hands on - including his hands - to teach Logan a lesson.

She gives him a small half smile, tilts her head and she once again thinks that he has the most beautiful brown soulful eyes she's ever seen.

"Hey, you wanna play Mario Kart before I take you home?"

"Sure, if you're ready to lose," she grins and he laughs.

He relaxes next to her, the game is on and she's being her usual snarky self and he reciprocates in kind. Being with Veronica feels so natural and it feels so good like a relationship should feel. He hopes that she feels it too.

[throne-of-starlight]

Clarke walks down the dangerous streets of The Mountain, the hood she's called home for the past two years. Where she's lived with her boyfriend Finn... ex-boyfriend now because she broke up with him after finding him with another woman- not that it was the first time- it always goes down like this, she finds him fucking a random girl in their bed, she yells at him, he beats her up, she cries, he apologizes and says it will never happen again, she believes him and it repeats.

This time though, Clarke's had enough. Enough of cheating, enough of beating, enough of being treated like shit. She doesn't have any friends of her own who could let her stay the night at their place. The only people she knows are the junkies and drunk friends of Finn's and that is not an option so she opts for sleeping on the streets.

It's not the first time she has to. After her father's death, the streets where her home due to her broken mother who started using drugs, lost her job as a doctor because she stole pills from work, she started blaming Clarke for her husband's death from time to time and spent the nights with different men. Abby (her mother) stopped paying for her private school so Clarke had to enroll in a public one and get a job so that she could have food in her stomach.

As Clarke settles under a bridge, she makes plans for the next day, she gets payed tomorrow from one of her jobs so she'll go collect the check and search for an apartment she can afford.

She uses her bag of clothes as a pillow and holds her pocket knife in her hands like she used to do when she was a teenager in case someone came to bother her... she remembers having to use that knife a few times before... she pushes those horrible memories out of her head, pulls her sweater tight to her body and goes to sleep.

~

She woke up a few times during the night because she heard a few noises that put her in alert mode, but nothing really happened and she was glad for it.

She walks inside the coffee shop -Green's Café- where she's been working for a year now. It's located in the beautiful city of Arkadia, the atmosphere in here is nice and it always makes Clarke forget about her shitty life.

"Hey, Clarke!" Niylah greets her with a smile.

Niylah is the only true friend she has and they have fooled around a few times, but Clarke decided to stop doing it when the bruises on her body couldn't be hidden with make-up anymore. They have remained good friends, but Clarke wasn't going to abuse of that friendship and ask her if she could stay at her place while she got to her feet. She knew Niylah wouldn't hesitate to say yes, but she doesn't want to explain the reason for asking.

"Hey, Niylah." She returns the smile. "Busy morning?"

Niylah sighs. "It's Friday so it's very busy."

"I won't keep you long then, I just came for my paycheck."

"Ah, yes, Mr. Green came by earlier and left them in the office."

"Okay, thanks." Clarke walks to the back of the cafe and into the employees office. As expected Mr. Green is nowhere in sight, to be honest she's only seen him five times during the year she's been working here and from those few times she can tell he's a nice guy, very friendly and cares about his employees.

The first time she saw him he introduced himself as Monty Green the owner of the cafe and asked her her name and when she told him he said, "It's nice to meet you Clarke. I'm glad you are working here if you need anything don't hesitate to let me know." He smiled, greeted the others and left.

She grabs her check and goes back to the front. "See you tomorrow, Niylah." She hugs her friend.

"Take care, beautiful." Her friend tells her.

Before going out the door, a flyer caughts her eye on the board that's on the right wall of the entrance. It says that someone is looking for a roommate and that the rent is cheap, it has a number and says to ask for Bellamy Blake. She takes the paper with her and dials the number, but it goes to voicemail.

She spends all day looking for apartments and calling people who have left flyers saying they're looking for a roommate, but couldn't find anything within her price range which isn't much. It's late in the afternoon and the sun is starting to go down so she decides to give Bellamy Blake a call for the tenth time, but again it goes straight to voicemail.

She stares at the address on the flyer debating whether to go or not... she has nothing to lose so she makes her way to the apartments. When she gets there it's dark, but she can see that there are three buildings of glass, big and beautiful in a nice place of the city so she doesn't know what that man Bellmay thinks cheap means, but since she has no other place to go she thought she'd give it a shot and hope that she could afford it.

She goes into the building in the middle and takes the elevator to the tenth floor, when she gets out she looks for the number 101. She knocks on the door and is glad she grabbed her most decent clothes before leaving Finn.

When no one opens the door she sits on the floor to wait for the man to show up. It's either waiting or going out to find a place on the streets to sleep and she doesn't want to do that yet.

~

Bellamy's had a rough day dealing with his people, reminding them what to do and what not to do, he had glanced at Murphy as he said that last part. He rubs his temple with his thumb and forefinger as he gets off the elevator and turns right for his apartment.

He stops when he sees a small figure laying on his doorstep, he walks closer and furrows his brow as he stares at the sleeping woman. She looks in her early twenties, blonde hair, creamy skin, long lashes and thin, she is so thin as if she hasn't been eating well. She was resting her head on a bag, that didn't look comfortable.

He kneels down and whispers, "Hey." But she doesn't stir.

He places his hand on her shoulder and gently shakes her, "Hey."

Her eyes dart open and in a blink of an eye she has him pinned down on the floor, straddling his waist and with a knife at his throat. He tenses and meets her eyes, blue like the deep blue sea, she is young and beautiful but those eyes... those eyes are of a person who has lived many things and even though she is trying to be intimidating he can still see some kind of fear in her eyes.

He slowly raises his hands so she can see them and says, "I'm not going to hurt you."

She glances at his hands then back at him, but doesn't say anything. She doesn't trust him.

"Can you please take the knife away from my neck?" He asks her softly.

"What do you want from me?" Her voice is a whisper.

"I just want to get to my apartment." He points to his door.

She furrows her brows, then her eyes open wide and she quickly gets off him. "Oh my God!" She exclaims. "Oh, crap!" She runs her fingers through her hair and looks at him. "I-I am so sorry-Oh my God. I'm sorry."

He stands up and watch her pace and keep on rambling. "I-I must have fallen asleep while I was waiting for you to show up and-" she stops pacing. "Shit! Now you will definitely not let me rent the other room and I spent the whole day looking for something but nothing came up. Ugh! I'm so stupid. I am so sorry, please-"

Bellamy carefully stands in front of her because she still has the knife in her left hand. "Hey, it's okay." He tells her. "Breath."

She looks up at him and she takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry." She says.

He doesn't know why but he chuckles. "It's okay, really."

She puts the pocket knife away and he asks her. "So you were waiting for me?"

She nods once. "I saw your flyer that you're looking for a roommate." She grabs her bag from the floor ready to leave.

"Come in." He says surprising her.

"Y-you want me to come in after I attacked you?"

He chuckles again. "Only if you promise not to stab me in the back."

Her eyes widen. "No, I would never." She says alarmed.

He smirks, "I was teasing you, Princess." And opens the door.

~

Clarke acted out of instinct. She was surprised the guy invited her in after what she did. He is tall, has bronze skin, black curly hair, sharp jawline, brown eyes and freckles adorn his chiseled face. He is good looking to say the least and young, she thought he'd be older, but he looks like he's in his twenty-four or twenty-five.

Clarke follows him inside the apartment and her mouth almost drops to the floor. It is big, she can only see the living room and kitchen but that is enough to tell her that she can't afford to live here. She knew it was a long shot and now she feels stupid and embarrassed as she turns around and finds the man Bellamy staring at her.

"I'm sorry to have caused you trouble and for wasting your time, but I think I should go." She gives him a small smile and walks towards the door.