#Ik it would change the entire canon plot line

[nah-man-ily]

Dying over and over while playing tlou brought me a lil tought for y'all who write tlou fanfiction.

What if they're in three? Joel, Tess and Reader, taking Ellie. And right after Tess dies, Joel, Reader and Ellie are trying to escape the building, then when they're almost out a FEDRA agent shoots Joel (who's already knocking at death's door atp) and Reader brutally murders the shooter while still ending up on time to be by Joel's side before he dies.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

tips and tricks on writing fanfic if u have any i beg <3<3

i have wrote so much throughout my life but it never feels like it flows right yk? i just want to write my silly characters being devastating with eachother

and you are infact my fav fic writer ever so pretty please <3

(its fine if not lol just may as well ask)

hihi!! sorry this took me a sec to respond to lol but yes ofc i can do my best to help!! and apologies in advance if any of this isn’t helpful/applicable 😓 i’ll put it all under the cut just because i can sense myself rambling in advance why did it end up being an entire thesis

okayyy so the most important thing for me when writing is having my plot and characters be in constant conversation with one another. typically i will come up with a very vague idea for a plot, which will then tell me exactly what kind of main characters i need to write, and from there, i build my cast!! it’s why i’m always afraid of writing characters ooc — typically i take aspects of the pre-existing character from canon and then expand on them so that they fit the plot i want, and sometimes i get worried that that means i’ve changed them too much LMAO.

once i understand what i want from my characters, i start to write. i usually have to rewrite my first chapter a few times as i get a feel for the characters and their perspectives, especially my pov character (we’ll call them mc for the sake of simplicity moving forward). it’s only after i feel like the mc’s voice and personality have been established that i can continue. i like to understand a character well enough that i can intuitively know how they would respond to any given situation. it makes it much easier in the future!! because once you’ve established a character, you can’t change them. i’ll use glass princess as an example because ik you’ve read it — if i wanted to write a slight different story, i could’ve written the mc to be a ruthless killer who has a short temper and resents her brother. however, i then would’ve had to work within the constraints of that character’s outlook instead of the constraints of current mc’s character!!

that’s why i typically only have loose ideas for plots. after i begin writing, i let my characters tell me what they want to do. they usually know what they want better than i do!! a lot of my “best” scenes have been entirely unplanned and based on me just following the characters’ actions to their natural conclusion. i guess you could say i go into each chapter having an idea of what the “inciting event” for the chapter will be — for example, mc runs to the tea shop the day after meeting the blue spirit, but the results of that inciting event are based more on my knowledge of my characters than any preconceived outlining or plotting. along the same lines, EVERY time i’ve had writer’s block with a fic (that was unrelated to me losing interest in the fandom/character/storyline) it’s been because i’ve forced my characters into a situation that they would not naturally end up in. my best example of this is a story i started writing with a very cold main character; she meets an injured enemy soldier who has lost his memories, and the plot was meant to revolve around her nursing him back to health and falling in love with him. however, given her character and the backstory i knew she had, i genuinely couldn’t come up with a single reason for why she would heal him instead of just killing him or turning him in, so i literally abandoned the story 😭 essentially i would recommend solid understanding of characters over a solid understanding of your plot 100% of the time. imo strong, well-rounded characters can carry even the shittiest of plots, but the opposite is rarely if ever true.

that was a lot of theory stuff!! as for where i get my ideas (not exactly what you asked but tangentially related so i’ll add it in here in case anyone else is reading and wants to know), it depends on the kind of fic i’m writing. my favorite fics are canon-verse, and for those fics i try to look for niches in the source material that aren’t already filled and make a character for it. the best example of this that i can think of off of the bat is two of my aot fics — in one, the mc is a member of the military police and the first interior squad, and in the other, the mc is a warrior candidate during the events of the show. both of these roles aren’t really filled by canon characters, so creating these characters allows me to look at plot events in a new light, which lets me expand the fic into something beyond just a rehashing of canon. in terms of au’s…to be honest listening to music is huge for me!! i’ll scroll through tik tok and hear an audio that inspires me, and once i have a vibe for what i want to write, i’ll search for similar songs that help me picture the general aesthetic of the au. the idea for my one bllk fic peregrine was conceived when i heard a snippet of the song welcome and goodbye by dream, ivory, on tik tok!! overall i don’t really like writing straight au’s that much though. idk why but in my experience every time i’ve tried to write an au fic i’ve gotten bored of it much much quicker than i would’ve with a more canon-based story. that’s just me personally though!!! i do loveeee worldbuilding though HAHA the amount of fantasy worlds i’ve created but never written for is horrific.

when it comes to things like grammar, sentence structure, and word choice, the only two things you can do to improve are reading and writing a LOT. at first, you should read more than you write, and when i say reading, it can be literally anything. find what you do and don’t like from all of the authors you encounter, and try to incorporate the pros into your writings while noticing the cons in your own work. it’s not plagiarism! you won’t be able to copy any author’s style completely, and if you engage in enough kinds of works, you’ll become a blend of so many different styles that it won’t sound copied or anything. then, once you’re comfortable mixing and matching depending on what scene you’re writing (maybe for a serious scene, you take references from a classical novel, whereas for a more lighthearted moment, you look at a social media au to see what kind of jokes might land with a broader audience), you can start to develop your own style!! it’ll come naturally as you go. the more you write, the more you will be certain of yourself and the way YOU would write something. the mixing and matching will smooth into one style that flows more naturally and does what you need, when you need it.

my final advice is that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others!! just because your writing doesn’t sound like your favorite author’s doesn’t mean it’s any worse. i’ve read amazing stories that are nothing like my own — it doesn’t mean that mine are worse than those stories, just different. there is a place in this world for every single story!! and it’s inevitable that you will look back on your old writing and cringe. i do!! i cannot read anything i wrote more than a year ago because i’ve improved so much that the old stuff is embarrassing to me. if you don’t push through the fear of cringe, though, you’ll never get anywhere. i’m not sure if you’re planning on posting anything ever, but i can say with certainty that if you do, there will be someone who reads and loves it. there’s people who still comment on and read and love my stories from 2021 that i absolutely despise now (it’s the only reason they haven’t been deleted yet). oftentimes we are our own worst critics, and also, knowing the plot ahead of time doesn’t help (writing suspenseful scenes is SO HARD when you know what’s coming 😭). your readers will love what you write, probably even more than you do!!

i hope that that was helpful and i’m so sorry for writing a literal essay OMG. like this is such a long post 😓 if you have any questions about what i wrote or about a specific aspect of the fic writing process, then lmk!! i’m always happy to help 🫶🏻

[daz4i]

wait okay. instead of going to sleep like a normal person. here's how I'd change the ages in bsd (for those that have a canon age), bc no one looks their age/it makes the timeline feel weird, i wanna let at least some major past events breathe a little between one another. possibly controversial takes ahead:

atsushi: i like that he's 18 actually. he looks and feels 16 but no yeah 18 works better. I'd say 20-21 would be nice but that'd reallyyyy throw his backstory's timing off unfortunately

dazai: 25

kunikida: around 27-28

ranpo: 28 also, maybe even 29 (his whole thing is that he looks young for his age anyway)

yosano: 28 as well

tanizaki: like. he does look 18. but also 16 and 21 at the same time. i like him as a bit older than atsushi so let's say 19-20, and naomi as well while we're at it

kenji: why is he 14. it's not that he doesn't look 14 it's that i simply did not expect a child to be the muscle in a detective agency. so please make him like at least 16 which is only just slightly better tbh

kyouka: yeah 14 is chill in her case imo. makes her more tragic 👍

katai: 27-29ish as well

fukuzawa: at least in his 50s. maybe 55ish, or even more. he def looks like it and it fits more with having a son in his 20s

akutagawa: i do want him to be older. but making his age gap with atsushi bigger is weird. so keeping him as a 20 y/o it is, maybe 21 at most

chuuya: 25

kouyou: 30s. early 40s even. she is already so milf coded. finding out she's 26 in canon was straight up offensive i swear. come on.

higuchi: 21

tachihara: 22 or 23 maybe? (the hunting dogs don't have canon ages but i like jouno and tecchou as 26ish so that way he's still like the baby of the group)

hirotsu: how is that man 50. make him 65 at least. jfc. the whole point is he's been with the mafia a long time. ik they keep recruiting teenagers for some reason but give me a break. my dad is pushing 70 and looks younger than him

q: actually my issue with them isn't that they don't look their age (tho they do look a bit younger ig) but that timeline wise?? they're so weird?? why did the mafia have a 6 y/o on deck that's just inconvenient for all parties involved. like i can excuse kyouka at 11ish but come ON. at least make them 10 in fifteen. or just bring them in later bc i just realized the timeline doesn't line up with the dazai and chuuya changes otherwise. man idk

odasaku: girl that man was NOT 23 when he died he should've been like at least 27 then

mori: late 40s or early 50s. keep the few years gap from fukuzawa maybe but he should still be older

ango: 29ish in the current timeline. or even 32. idk why but that number feels right.

francis: 45 at least. how is a 32 y/o man supposed to have a daughter old enough to study abroad...

poe: 29

melville: actually he is the only one aged correctly in this entire manga. bestie 🔥🔥🔥🔥

steinbeck: 24. maybe even older

lucy: 20-21ish. same issue as akutagawa really

louisa: 25 at least please 🙏

nathaniel: 34 maybe.

margaret: also early 30s. how the fuck is she 20. like kouyou this is straight up insulting 😭

mark: ageless for he is the spirit of youth and joy (yeah 22 is chill for him actually. he's like the taylor swift song. he'd love that)

mushitaro: tbh I'd make him more around 29 or even older than 30. like he would be a believable 35 y/o to me if needed.

nikolai: actually him being 26 is chill too. tho i wouldn't mind making him around 28-29ish too since i already aged up most 26 y/os so may as well go all the way.

shibusawa: yeah he can stay 29 too idm. i actually didn't know he had a canon age until now. cool!

i think that's everyone who has a canon age (excluding lns bc i haven't gotten to them yet)? aside from sigma maybe but his age is more of a plot device than a fun fact. and fukuchi is implied to be the same age as fukuzawa so, yeah just make them the same in this case too.

i did mess up the timeline myself with this. so lemme clear it up:

The War and the whole thing with mori and yosano still happened when she was 11, so 17 years before canon. that means mori was still in his 20s back then, no big change

untold origins still happened when ranpo was in his teens, honestly we can keep it 14, so 14 years ago, meaning fukuzawa was in his late 30 or early 40s. again not too big of a change I'd say

fifteen happens when. well. dazai and chuuya are 15. ten years ago. i don't want q there get them out of my sight (for now) let them be a kid for a bit!!!!! but yeah like in canon that means the previous boss's murder was a year before, 11 years ago. also while we're at it, stormbringer is also the same aka a year after 15

now this is where we shake things up just a bit. rather than occuring when dazai is 18, i think we can push the dark era to when he's 20 and still maintain the whole childlike thing he has going on there, it's not that big of a difference imo.

that means, 5 years before canon instead of 4, making akutagawa 15 back then, and ango 27 like odasaku.

also yeah q comes in at some point in the middle between those^ I'd say close to dark era than fifteen.

originally i wanted to make skk 26 but this started stretching things even more. bc now we gotta figure out how long dazai spent in hiding. and ig we can keep it 2 years and just make it so his entrance exam was 3 years before canon. again imo not that big of a stretch 🤔

idk why i said this changes the timeline a lot i think this is p simple. also lets ppl stew in their situation for just a bit longer which i like more.

thank you for reading. you are very brave and strong for pulling through. feel free to disagree with my takes but just be nice about it please. I'm also open to hearing other takes if you have any that i didn't consider 🫡 but again just be nice okay?? 🥹

[polite-pandemonium]

ok I’m not going to write a hospital playlist/Digimon AU but IF I DID, this is how I am thinking I would approach it

So for starters, who are we focusing on and what are their plot-lines? I can only have 5 leads here, just like in the show, because I can’t let myself write a world where 12 people who are all friends are all doctors who all just happen to work at the same hospital (and in this group, there are also two sets of siblings? no). Like we have to remember how terribly convenient the plot of HP is to begin with, that one doctor got all of his friends jobs at the same hospital because his father was the director (or something — it’s been a long time since I watched the first episode). Reasonably, I can’t do that, I have to have some tiny semblance of realism. 

Which means I gotta choose. 

By default, gotta have Jyou, cause he’s canonically a doctor. Done. 

Obviously Taichi has to be in this. Do I see Taichi as a doctor ever? No. But this is a Hospital Playlist/Digimon AU and I can do what I want and he is absolutely the Ik-jun of the group, so therefore, he’s gotta be in this. He is the glue that keeps the team together. 

Now because Taichi is our Ik-jun equivalent here and Ik-jun has the bestttttttt slow burn ever with Song-hwa and because I am me, we gotta have Mimi. Again, would I see her as a doctor? No, but again, this is my potential fic and I do what I want. 

So we got three out of five and I have two more positions to fill and WHO SHOULD THEY GO TO? 

My initial thought was I wanted to include Takeru, cause I would looooove to play off of the Jun-wan dating Ik-jun’s sister thing and have Takeru secretly hooking up with Hikari. But thennn, I really feel like I need to include Yamato, cause here’s the thing: I want to do a watered down version of the band subplot and we can’t have a musical portion without Yamato. So that means I have to include Yamato. 

By default, I’m gonna throw Sora in here, cause half way through writing this, I changed my entire plot for this definitely not happening fic. 

BUT IF IT DID HAPPEN, HERE IS AN OVERVIEW:

We got Taichi, Mmi, Yamato, Sora, and Jyou. Maybe I throw in Miyako and Ken as secondary doctors or nurses. Everyone else will make an appearance, but I gotta keep the plot focused on the five. I am thinking 5-6 chapters, each one focused on the POV of a different character. 

Taichi and Mimi - can’t decide whether I want to do established relationship, slow burn friends who flirt, OR friends who hook up occasionally. Think I’m leaning towards the latter. Not sure what kind of doctors they are yet. Their chapters would obviously focus on their relationship (also doctor stuff). 

I just decided to cut Jyou. He can still be a doctor, but I don’t want to write his own chapter - I don’t know what I would write for it. Maybe. I might come back to this. 

Yamato is basically Jun-wan; quiet, serious, a little snarky, sometimes comes off as scary to other residents. Secretly a giant cinnamon roll. Hopelessly carries a torch for Hikari, which is an issue cause she is Taichi’s little sister AND he’s pretty sure Takeru is also in love with her. DO I TRY TO WRITE A YAMATO/HIKARI/TAKERU TRIANGLE? IN THE YEAR 2021? DO I DO IT? I can’t tell if I love or hate the idea, but I know it feels wrong and therefore, I AM INSPIRED BY IT!!!!

Sora is the Song-hwa of the group, but she won’t end up with Taichi. Instead she is just kind, sweet, and has had feelings for Yamato 5-eva, but he has never noticed and she has secretly made peace with it. 

ALSO THEY DO DOCTOR THINGS! I just have to research that. New space for me. 

I’m not going to put them all into a band because Taichi and Jyou aren’t picking up instruments any time soon. But I am going to make them all hang out kind of drunk and Yamato and Mimi are going to play a few songs. Maybe Sora sings something. 

Anyway, I am definitely, absolutely, not going to write it. 

I’m not. 

(I am sorry to my unfinished fic.) 

[mochuelovelli]

ASOUE AU? ASOUE AU. Pt 1 (Characters)

Okay so I just posted a little doodle I did for an A Series of Unfortunate Events AU that I had been thinking about ever since I realized that Esmé was obviously Magica's VA (which was 3 days ago so oop). I don't have all the characters figured out right now (mostly bc quite frankly there aren't really enough adults that act so... neglectful towards the kids in ducktales). I'll list the ones I am pretty concrete on VS the ones I'm unsure or ones that I "reimagined" due to not everyone fitting perfectly in this world.

Characters that are Definite:

Glomgold as Count Olaf: Think about it, horrible actor/cosplayer (yes thats what he is). Both obsessed about riches, revenge and are generally incompetent. Really, Olaf is much more wicked in the ASOUE series imo (bc even tho Glomgold wants to kill Scrooge and steal his money. This anger only extends his wards if he wishes to use them against Scrooge and is less keen on the murdering of kids. Notice I said LESS). Not 100% if I want him to be as...well explicit as Olaf can be at times. Especially his characterization in the Bad Beginning if you know what I mean (pst it's child marriage)

Magicia DeSpell as Esmé Squalor: Like I said, this is a no brainer. She has the stage performance of Magicia with a bit of Mark Beaks Mom (forget her name) mixed in. Probably would downplay her love for fashion and replace it with an obsession with the occult. I would also not have her be obsessed with Glomgold, its more in character for Glomgold to be obsessed with her anyhow. It is also possible bc I tend to believe she is a more compelling villian in canon that she might take the place of Glomgold on the Island in "The End". But I also plan for Scrooges Number One Dime to replace the Sugar bowl so, maybe not.

Doofus Drake as Calmanita Splats: Duh, spoiled brat who is very creepy and probably has parents that want them dead? Instead of wanting to sing all the time he mainly wants to wreak things/people. He still definitely dresses up tho into a hodgepodge of things. It always changes and Glomgold is always annoyed by this but he likes him more than Magicia. She definitely wants him dead just like Olaf in the series (she really hates kids).

Duckworth as Larry your waiter: Yeah not much competition for this role. It was either him or Launchpad. Duckworth is too perfect for this role and he honestly will play a better spy than canon Larry. If I ever write it out a lot of the "fight scenes" and anime-esque "explaining how I fooled you" dialogue will definitely be reworked but still present. I will however not keep out the main theme of neglect or ignorance with the adults, they will still fail in that regard as always but will just not literally stand there and tell Olaf "We finally caught you, now let me explain why we are so smart oh no you set something on fire again". I mean...maybe for a Mr. Poe but not the VFD. Or...SHUSH I should say but more on that later (or in another post who knows?)

Scrooge McDuck as Lemony Snicket (sorta): Okay so OBVIOUSLY we can't have our "Lemony" have the hots for the McDuck siblings mom (yes another thing I must explain oh boy). Scrooge will still be gilted in love by, of course Goldie though I am still not 100% if she should play part of the the role of Kit Snicket (again NOT related to Scrooge) or should she be someone else entirely. Scrooge is basically the reason everything is happening in this AU just like the canon Lemony but writes sad letters to Donald and Della as well as Goldie. As you might of well guessed, Scrooge's Fortune is also the riches the McDuck's have.

Fethry Duck as Dr. Monty: Of course a snake lover will become a marine lover in this AU! Also of COURSE Mitzy will play the roles of the incredibly deadly viper AND the great unknown! Fethry and Dr. Monty not being mentioned by their family but also too enthralled with their studies to care all that much (but seriously thats fucked up ducktales). Totally made for this role. As far as setting goes this will be where the siblings will be underwater first but since the series already has plently of aquatic locals I will probably swap out the Lake Lacamose story with Peru or the Galapagos. Speaking of...

Ms. Quackfaster as Aunt Josephine: For narrative purposes it would make sense that Ms. Quackfaster would lose her edge as a brave and bold woman. For what exact reason I am still trying to figure out. Not sure if I still want to keep the "Ike" storyline, maybe she just got really spooked by FOWL. Maybe some creature from the Galapagos ate her leg or something.

Ma Beagle as Dr. Orwell: This particular role was sort of hard for me to cast due to the fact that Dr. Orwell is older and romantically involved with Olaf (at least its sorta there). I really didn't want to give this role to Owlson bc other than she isn't a bad person, she is also way too young. Ma Beagle already has a similar motivation im canon to want to reclaim Duckburg as Beagleburg so the Terrible Mills plot to frame the B for causing a fire in order to have control over the mill is very in line with Ma. I originally wanted the Beagle Boys be working in the Mill but since I am changing the setting to Egypt, I decided to use the people stuck in the pyrimid (idk what they are actually called) and will either use Amulet, Launchpad or Dijin as Cookie

Characters that are Mixed with others:

Huey Duck as the Narrative Role of Violet B.: I mostly imagined(?) the kid characters in a approximation of set characters from the books/series. For this reason, Huey plays the ROLE of Violet Baudelaire so that he can take the "inventor" occupation. I went back and forth on finding who would have Violet's quirk of using an object to help her think. My mind originally went to Webby since she has a bow and I wanted Huey's obsession with the Incomplete History of Secret Organizations to take the place of his JWG. However I reworked it so that Huey's JWG would act as Violet's ribbon with him having to flip through his beat up (and slightly burnt) journal to find a quick solution or just to calm his nerves. Something that applies to all the triplets and twins is that their last names are changed to "McDuck" mostly bc it sounds better that they are later called the "McDuck Murders" instead of the "Duck Murders" as well as Scrooges edited role in the kids lives. He has a mix of Klaus' social awkwardness and habit of talking at length about his special interests to whoever will listen. Huey is also the one who gets hypnotized in the Miserable Mill ep.

Louie Duck as the Narrative Role of Sunny B.: Pretty sure I swapped Louie and Webby for this role in my first post but whatever. I wanted to confusingly change Klaus' role into a "Charmer" or "smooth talker" (obviously still a work in progress) since I felt that Huey in DuckTales canon was always well researched as well a good mechanic and having two characters who pretty much fit the same role was... redundant. I also wanted to really make Webby's Sunny much more inline with her notorious/abnormal fighting abilities. However, I realized that instead of changing Klaus' role I should just change Sunny's characterization since I would have to rework it anyways since she was a baby. I also got the idea from recently rewatching the series and saw Sunny basically trick her way out of being trapped with the Hook handed man (i.e. Fernald). I will instead make Louie's role as what he functionally is in DuckTales (the guy who can talk his way out of anything). He would probably also say his occupation is "Defense Attorney" or something along those lines. He is also the one who gets captured the most but not by much. However while he still has Sunny's sarcasm, he also has Klaus' inherit skeptism and distrust of adults.

Webby Vanderquack as the Narrative Role of Klaus B.: Like I said in Louie's segment, Webby is changed to Klaus or more accurately the "Researcher" of the group. She is often the one who stays up late, researching ways to get out of Glomgold's schemes. Unlike Klaus though, she has more of the optimism of Violet but might not put as much belief into all authority as Huey might. She still has role models that she looks up to but isn't against bending the rules. She also unfortunately takes Violet's role of becoming "Olaf's bride" in the Bad Beginning. In the story she has always lived with the McDucks but didn't take their name and still had Mrs. B (until she was around 10, she was 12ish when the fire happened). However, she is still in the McDuck Will and therefore Glomgold hatches a plan to use her to get the fortune. She also tricks him by signing her name "Vanderduck" or "McDuck" instead of Vanderquack to make the marriage null in void. She is also a mix of Sunny since she is generally the most physically capable out of the children.

Dewey Duck as the Narrative Role as Quigley Quagmire: Okay honestly after a rewatch, I don't exactly know what makes Duncan and Quigley that different from each other. I'm pretty sure Duncan is the Klaus of his siblings but whatever. Dewey mostly just 1/2 of the reveal that two people survived the fire during the Carnival segment (which is changed to an underground wrestling theme for reasons to be explained). I am fairly certain that during the last part of the Village of Fowl Devotees I want Dewey be the one left behind with Webby and Lena that way we can have more time spent with him and Weblena/ Magicia v Lena drama. Dewey's occupation would be "Comedian/Host/Actor" . He also is the one the adults ignore during the first half and will be the subject of Triplet/only child jokes that the Quagmires face.

Gosalyn Mallard as the Narrative Role of Duncan Quagmire: Okay so like, no she isn't related or adopted by the Quagmires

Lena Saberwing as the Narrative Role of Isadora Quagmire: c'mon both these kids like poetry. Literally I can think of no other DuckTales kid that likes that (other than Webby but that was more of her liking Lena's stuff). She will still have her background as Magica's niece and might take some of the role of Fernald where he gets redeemed by betraying Olaf/saving Sunny. I am unsure by what extent though as she isn't going to be a henchperson of Glomgold or Magica. It might be that she is uses morally questionable ways to get what she wants/needs. Maybe she is "good" but has to commit a terrible act similar to how the Baudelaires have to burn down the carnival.

Characters that I am uncertain about or straight up don't have someone in that role:

Violet Saberwing as the Narrative Role of Fiona Widdershins: Like Fiona, Violet was also originally distrusted by a part of the cast (in this AU, it probably be Webby and/or Louie as Huey catches feelings lol). She is also obsessed with the occult not fungus and has to save probably Louie from losing his soul or something (wip). Violet more than any of the main cast of kids will probably act more like her canon self since she is naturally straight forward and booksmart. She probably gets forced to stay with Glomgold until her and Lena can escape again. Also since I didn't want it to be another underwater local and wanted it to relate to DuckTales17 a bit more closely I thought it be better if they were in the sky. Maybe Violet got the Sun chaser or maybe even the Spear of Selene. Maybe instead of going to look for their dads (since they are dead oof) they come back at The End to tell the McDuck Siblings et all that they might of found something...or someone important.

Boyd as the Narrative Role of Friday: This is definitely more of a stretch as really he is only Friday because in role only because I want him at the Island at The End so that he can save the siblings from whatever organic incident happens since he is still an android. I previously thought he could also fit the role of Fernald since he could go through a redemption arc easier due to him sorta going through one in the show. Its not out of the realm of possibility that Glomgold could have reprogrammed him to obey him (he might still do something similar I haven't figured it out 100%).

Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera as the narrative role of Hector: He probably won't faint as much as Hector but he will have to be pushed by the kids to be confident in himself during the Vile Village (which will probably change to a Capital city since I plan to rework FOWL into this). Maybe its similar to a military academy which makes having a set of rules make sense. Its also possible that Fenton escapes with some of the kids in the Sunchaser by the end of this.

Steelbeak as the Narrative Role of Fernald Widdershins: I mainly chose him because Steelbeak and Hookhanded man both most clearly are shown to be sympathic antagonists. They are still functionally villians, much more so than any of the children like Boyd or Lena who, yeah, have done bad things but in one case wasn't given the freewill to decide for himself or was but when she decided to stand up for herself she was literally tortured and had her freedom taken away (more so than in the beginning since. Steelbeak would, like Fernald, be making a choice as an adult man to be apart of a mad man's troop and was harden enough to commit murder if it meant he could impress his boss. But because he is not related to (by blood or otherwise) any protagonist I struggle to know where to put him. I might still have him defect during the end of what would have been the Grim Grotto ep and comes back with the Saberwings at The End. Maybe he brings Gosalyn back after finding her at some point, maybe he dies somewhere towards The End. Not sure.

Gladstone/Ghost of Christmas Past/News Reporter Lady as the Narrative Role of Mr. Poe/Mr. Poes Wife: wow this one is really confusing. My reasoning behind these picks is because The News lady would be a great pick for Mr. Poe's wife or at least a substitute as she has similar motivations in DT17. The biggest set back for her tho is that she has no reason to be on the Baudelaire case (or McDuck case anyways). Ghost of Christmas past is a bit of a stretch since why the fuck would he be in charge of making sure the kids had guardians? I mainly want him just bc of his motivation (or lack thereof) to do his job and being incompetent at it. Gladstone while making some sense that he also would be uncaring about where the kids go is also a stretch given he is a relative and he while he might not care 100% about their whereabouts he wouldn't lose them like Mr. Poe would simply bc he is so damn Lucky. Its possible to work that against him, maybe in a scenerios like where he drops off the kids but gets whisked away because some rando gifts him a boat. Still unsure.

Mrs. Beakley as either the Narrative Role of Jaclyn S (Mr. Poes Secretary/VFD spy)., Olivia C. (Librarian): I want Mrs. B to have a role which fits her being experienced and competent but also met a tragic demise. I might mix the experience of JS with the fate of OC. Poor Webby.

Justice Strauss as ???: I'll be honest, I am stumped with this one. This is a very important role to fill and I can't quite find an adult character that fits the bill of Justice Strauss. Mrs. B is too smart, Launchpad studying law while ridiculous, is something inline with the show but he doesn't have a DT17 motivation similar enough to Strauss where he's desires can be exploited nor has he really want kids in the same sense as Strauss. Drake Mallard is close since he is an actor but having him work with law is a bit of a stretch, I also think that making him somewhat bumbling is an insult to his character but Strauss is tragic since she WANTS to very much be the Baudelaires guardian but fails so much. Maybe in a safer world she could have been, maybe if they were luckier. She loves them so much, but they run away where she can't find them to at least try to be there for them and is left heart broken by the end. Whoever becomes JS is in for a world of hurt and I'm sorry. Goofy could also be a replacement, maybe Max died for more angst 😬.

Goldie or Daisy as the narrative role of Kit Snicket: This kinda gets really fanfic-y as neither of these characters really fit nicely into this role. Goldie definitely has the skill of Kit and her disregard for the rules but the pregnancy thing is... something. Not entirely sure if I actually want her to be pregnant but I also want a Beatrice II type character (of course she would be named Della II) but again very fanfic-y. Daisy I am more comfortable being the one who gets pregnant, she might take Olivias role as the new VFD recruit instead of Kits more seasoned one. All I know is that if either or both outcomes exist they will die also a Dewey Deanumont(?) Character wouldn't be the father it would of course be Donald or Scrooge depending who gets pregnant.

Jacques Snicket as ???: Another mystery for me. Functionally? Maybe Manny could play this role or even Launchpad (he really is just my go to for any character idk about huh?) Whoever it is will die but wont have a romance with the Olivia character(s). Maybe its Goofy lmao.

This is quite long enough, let me know if y'all got any more ideas. I'll edit this when I can since I am tired of writing. Please comment or reblog for suggestions and the like thx u. And please...Look Away while you still can.

[shachihata]

14-22 for path pls i am dying for Juice

oh hell yeah... it’s path time >:3c

14. Ingrained habits/forces of habit

despite his alias Literally being pathogen/”path”, he’s... got a Touch of germophobia and washes his hands/uses hand sanitizer, Constantly. as a result his hands are really fucking dry and they’re constantly picking at them

15. What it takes to make them cry

path’s entire emotional state balances on a Very fine line between “chilling” and “Not So Chilling,” and, while they’d never cry In Front of people, it doesn’t take much to get them to break down in private. public humiliation/calling unwanted attention to them would be the easiest way, i suppose!

16. Dark secrets/’skeletons in the closet’

in castle zygara, they end up saving karen... by pushing karinna into the void, especially when they remembered that it was karinna who originally planned on disposing of jenner and faking melia’s death

17. Regrets

not kicking crescent’s ass personally not being able to save the rifts that he destroyed. finding a way to purify them, to him, seems a way of restoring the balance in the world and a way of fulfilling his purpose

18. Things they’ll never admit

their actual name, which is ☼︎♏︎♎︎♋︎♍︎⧫︎♏︎♎︎ for the time being (:

other than that, though, they’d never SAY it, but they’re very much a “means justify the ends” kind of person. if it gets down to the wire (or rather, WHEN it does, seeing how the game’s plot is developing lol), they’d do what it takes to exact their “impartial” judgement and, at least in his eyes, fulfill the purpose he was made for.

19. People they’ve hurt or indirectly killed, and how it affected them

melia’s “””death””” DEFINITELY put the whole “what the fuck, Death Is Real” thing in perspective for them (see question 21 lol) and kicked their ass into thinking “hey, maybe, uh, being careful, Is Okay Sometimes.” and realizing that saving vivian led to an entirely new future being created unfortunately only led to him growing more comfortable with the fact that “sometimes these things have to be done for the sake of the timeline/universe” 😔

20. What-ifs/Alternate Timelines

WELL in fact... i’ve been bouncing around the idea of rift!mc in my head for a bit since i saw aelita! ik in canon it probably either wouldn’t happen or wouldn’t happen the way im imagining it, but... hey! it’s fun to play with :3c

here’s one of my concepts for code: vektor! it’s like, the First one i made and definitely up for revision, but, uwu

21. Turning points in their life

hmm... i’ll talk about one of the biggest ones! they grew up in grand dream city and, from Very Early contact with the puppetmaster and information from the blakeory atheneum, a very clear “i should be dead right now” experience made them realize that they WERE the interceptor, which changed the way they acted... completely. their grades quickly dropped to failing as they started to see it all as a pointless distraction, they distanced themselves from the people they used to know, they became infinitely more reckless... not a good time all around. after that realization, they became increasingly focused on the “judgement” they were supposed to be rendering, 

22. People who’ve influenced them greatly

the puppetmaster is one of them, for sure - path’s been visiting them in his nightmares and getting cryptic “””guidance””” from them ever since he was a kid

[illuminatingcomics]

Some anon asked me what I thought of The Life of Captain Marvel, and jokes on you, I was already deep into writing this.

What the fuck was this bullshit?! And here I was sorta of optimistic reading the preview.  I guess I was hypnotized by Marguerite Sauvage’s heartbreakingly beautiful artwork, about the only saving grace of this melodramatic fuckfest of an issue.

THE PLOT

It’s father’s day, and while dealing with a weirdly matched band of supervillains, Carol has Vietnam-tier flashbacks of a family vacation that sends her into a frenzy. She decides to visit her old family summer home to try and deal with this baggage. Really badly written tragedy strikes, and she decides to linger, making some weird discoveries along the way.

THE BULLSHIT

Ok, this issue was mostly bland and trite, but what was really bad, what really made me angry, was the whole heap of bullshit and retcons surrounding Carol’s family. Ever since she got promoted to Captain Marvel, writer after writer tried their hardest to give her a supporting cast, all seemingly oblivious to the fact that she had a mother and a brother just hanging in limbo that could easily be the source of any number of stories. I’ve been waiting since 2008, ten fucking years, to see Carol reunite with her family, and now I got monkey pawned I guess.

Let’s start with her dad. Let me tell you something about Joseph Danvers: he was an ASSHOLE, a dick, a stubborn fool, but you know, he was also a brave man. When Claremont’s introduces him the first time, we see him risk his own life to save the one of another man, and he stands up to crooked criminals that want to run him out of business. He was pigheaded, yes, but he was also a good person deep down, a hardworker who simply didn’t know how to deal with his daughter, and part of the charm was seeing Carol both grow out of her animosity with him and simultaneously realize she got a lot of her temper from him, all in the span of a couple of issues, because Claremont is what we call in these circles “a good writer”, and made a character that had a little bit of texture to him.

Then Brian Reed’s came along and made him an alcoholic. Ms. Marvel v2 #31. I cut Reed’s a lot of slack, but that was frankly unnecessary. Still, ok, it tied to Carol’s harder, and he’s portrayed as a self-destructing kind of alcoholic rather than actively malicious with everybody, and it was after his beloved eldest’s death, so you could understand he was completely broken...

But here comes Margaret Stohl people, and according to her, Joseph Danvers was always an unabashed abuser who screwed up his children’s childhood, and Carol can’t even bring herself to THINK about him without going in a berserker rage and suffer a cardiac arrest! Why do this? What’s the point? Not only it is clichéd as hell, overused to the point of meaninglessness, it adds nothing to Carol’s character, except more empty soap opera angst. She already has countless other sources of drama and pain in her past, is an abusive dad really necessary? And God, what the fuck is up with Marvel and dads?! They pulled the same shit with Joseph Rogers (how many joseph are there?) turning a problem with the bottle mentioned in passing into a full blown stereotypical irish knuckle fest. Can’t wait for the day Uncle Ben gets it, that’ll be fun.

I feel bad, like it’s my fault, because months ago, I complained about Stohl writing of Joe Danvers in Mighty Captain Marvel #0. There, she had significantly mellowed out the scene where he tells her she wasn’t going to college and just needed to find a husband. I said he didn’t look like the stubborn dick I remembered, but a dopey, oblivious dude... It’s like, Stohl saw my post, decided I was making a good point, and went all the way into the other direction...  This alone should tell us how much care and attention goes into forging these stories these day, how clear and laid out the direction for each character is! Last year Joseph Danvers was just a moron with a pot belly, now he’s the King of Punchville, population: my kids. Maybe he’s not actually Joseph Danvers, but some skrull impostor, it would explain the absence of his awesome stache.

 Then there’s Joe Jr... I didn’t believe it was possible to fuck up a character that, before this issue, had TWO balloons of spoken dialogue across six decades of history, but somehow they did. First of all: HE’S YOUNGER THAN CAROL NOT OLDER. How do you fuck that up?! He’s the third child, she’s the second! Yet Carol calls him big brother, and he’s portrayed as bigger and taller than her in flashbacks. Look, I know Ike Perlmutter pays editors in stale bread and wedgies, but come on, it took me five minutes to double check it!

Besides that: Joe Jr was a complete blank slate, you could’ve done literally ANYTHING with him, and what happens? He gets fucking FRIDGED. Slams his car and becomes a vegetable so Carol has an excuse to linger in her family home... it feels like his head trauma is just there to have a time-skip, so that Carol’s hair grows to resemble Brie Larson’s length, just in time for the fucking movie! Like, are you kidding me? How wasteful is that? I mean, with how this issue ended, it’s entirely possible they’re going to have magic alien tech or some shit to fix him up, but still, I’m not holding my breath.

Finally, there’s Marie, Carol’s mom. Yup, there she is. She’s just there. She’s always been just there. Nobody seems to know what to do with her. She was always the quiet, sweet housewife that wasn’t quite sure how to handle her husband histrionics except be patient and supporting. That character trait still lingers, but now that Joseph graduated in open abusiveness, her patient looks criminal. At least, when they made Steve’s dad abusive, it was to showcase Sarah Rogers’ strength of character, how she boldly and proudly stood up to her husband’s abuse... here, Marie Danvers just tells her daughter to pipe it down while her husband wails on her children. She’s a goddamn enabler. One change, two characters ruined.

The fact that Carol has been brain wiped not once but twice, is completely disregarded, which is absurd, because it’s the biggest and most profound source of emotional turmoil she has! When Brian Reed wrote the story revolving around it, it was heartbreaking! Carol’s loss of memory, having her show up at her family house, realizing she doesn’t know these people, that she should feel anger, and love, and rage, and sadness, but nothing comes up, because she has nothing left.

In TLofCM, this feeling of alienation is never brought up, it’s only ever barely hinted at. Her mindwipe isn’t mentioned, just tangentially referred to, and it’s treated like the reason Carol never shows up to her old home is that the memories of her dad are too painful. Great job guys, you took Carol’s very specific and interesting source of pain and replaced it with daddy’s issues. Plus, as I mentioned, IRL it’s been ten years since Carol met her family. In canon at least a couple must’ve passed, yet this separation is barely mentioned. Her mother welcomes her to their summer home with the warmth you’d expect if they met like once a week or once a month, where she should’ve gone “Where the fuck have you been?!”. Joe Jr is the only one that brings it up, and it still feels way too casual.

Now, let’s finally speak about Carol. I really hope I won’t sound like an arrogant prick, but reading earlier issues of Margaret Stohl’s run, I once tweeted “this is something I would write if I lacked any self-awareness”. Nothing is more true than in this issue, where Carol acts like a unhinged psychopath in the most worrying of ways. We see her snap and downright punch her FATHER’S  TOMBSTONE into pieces. I mean, I was shocked! What the fuck?! Who does this? How is she going to explain this to her mother?! To her brother?! How much of a mental trainwreck do you have to be to go this far? Hating your dad is one thing, desecrating a cemetery is another one entirely! And at the beginning of the issue she brutalizes Moonstone, with the Avengers just idly standing by the side quipping about it... GUYS THIS IS NO LAUGHING MATTER, Carol is suffering another breakdown. Also no laughing matter is what happened to Carol’s brother, but the tone this book has is way too carefree and light to properly deal with it. Every single dialogue Carol has is coated with some matter of snappy comeback, or clever line. It creates an ironic distance that doesn’t allow the drama to unfold.

Look, ok, this is just the very first issue, and the ending seems to imply there was something more going on with Carol’s dad, but that just fills me with even more dread, suddenly we’re bringing in more spaceshit! We’ve been seeing Carol deal with trite spaceshit for years now, this could’ve been a down to earth, emotional, quiet miniseries focusing entirely on Carol’s family life and childhood, but no, there’s still conspiracies and mysterious glowing gadgets and space foetuses, and god knows what matter of absurdist retcon awaiting us.

Off on a great start.

[caraidean]

Tanith & Sephiran: An Explanation.

Or, “Why This Is Heartbreaking And You Should Ship It Too” Thanks @of-invisible-ties for plummeting into this hell with me. I don’t remember which one of us started this, but know that should this pairing be responsible for my death, I blame you.

Unmarked spoilers for both Path of Radiance but especially Radiant Dawn’s New Game + below.

This started as a crack ship, because...well, look at it. They have basically no dialogue with each other in-game, although Tanith does make passing references to him on multiple occasions in Path of Radiance. She does, however, have a very brief pre-battle conversation with him in Radiant Dawn.

Now I actively have to remind myself to stop referencing it in Tanith threads. Below is around 1,500 words explaining why.

Part I - Emotional Basis and Backstory Before the Games

Tanith is an immensely dedicated and professional person. She doesn't like to display emotions in public, aside from a few quick and slightly sarcastic words when she feels she can trust them - in private, she opens up a little more, as seen in her A Support with Marcia. While she can seem stern, cold and distant, those are just how she acts - she is really a very caring person, but values her career and professionalism too much to act out in public. She mirrors Titania in a lot of ways, which is why on this blog they have something of a close friendship (that's another meta for another day).

Sephiran is similarly dedicated and professional - but more open to displaying true emotion than Tanith, particularly when it comes to teasing, as Sigrun points out in some of her Path of Radiance dialogue. However, he also has a very low opinion of most people, going from his monologues at the end of Radiant Dawn. Given his backstory regarding the first Branded and also the destruction of Serenes Forest, this is pretty much completely justified. He sees people as inherently flawed, and in need of being judged by the Goddess - with a few exceptions to the rule, such as Sanaki herself. He is also admiring and possibly a little confused by those Branded who manage to attract friends anyway, such as Soren.

Sephiran's attachment to Sanaki, a small child who he attempts to raise as best he can, leads him to at first be leery of Tanith. However, he comes to respect her dedication, as well as trust in her very real emotional attachment to the young Apostle as well. To his slight shock, Tanith's dedication and sense of ethics starts to remind him of Altina, his former lover and the first Empress - as well as mother of his child, the first Branded. Meeting a woman who could pass for Altina at least in spirit moves him to start spending more time with her.

On Tanith's end, she initially distrusts Sephiran as well. She knows far too well the machinations of the Senate after seeing them at work within the Holy Guard, and first believes that he is simply manipulating Sanaki for his own agenda. While this is still somewhat true, she also realizes that his 'agenda' is what is best not just for the people of Begnion, but for Sanaki herself - letting her warm up to him. Ultimately, the relationship is forged on mutual respect and admiration, as well as a shared desire to keep those important to them safe - which eventually extends to include each other.

As far as a dynamic goes, once the trust issues are dealt with, it falls into a somewhat stereotypical Serious Girl/Teasing Man relationship. According to Sigrun in Path of Radiance, Sephiran can be something of a sarcastic ass - although Tanith's tongue can, when pushed, match his in speed and skill.

Tanith and Sephiran reach an agreement upon realizing their feelings for each other - while they care about each other, it simply wouldn't help either of their careers to wed or otherwise publicly acknowledge it. At least, that's what Sephiran says - given his plans for the world in Radiant Dawn, he likely doesn't want an official union with her out of guilt for what he plans to do. Tanith, on the other hand, genuinely wants to be recognized for her own skill, and being known as the 'Prime Minister's Woman' would do nothing but detract from that. However, their relationship becomes something of an open secret among those in Sienne and Begnion's military, particularly since Sephiran seems intent on teasing Tanith as much as possible about it.

Sanaki's part in the relationship is basically overwhelming joy. One of her two mother figures is in a relationship with her father figure - and she is essentially transformed into the ten year old girl wanting her parents to kiss. Thankfully, she's mature enough to let Sephiran and Tanith deal with the relationship in their own way, only bringing it up in private or when irritated.

Sigrun, being a kind and well-meaning person, is also on board with it - frequently joking about how they should just wed and adopt Sanaki proper. Tanith continues to see Sigrun as a mentor, while Sephiran admires Sigrun's dedication and mindset, despite all she's had to see and endure to reach her position.

Part II - The Games, Why Radiant Dawn makes me cry now, and Why New Game + Makes More Sense

For the events of Path of Radiance, nothing much changes save for a few background moments for Tanith. Upon meeting Ike, she expresses relief when he says that he's met Sephiran and he seems fine. Later, upon General Zelgius' arrival, he does so with one of Sephiran's traditional teases in tow - the scale of which...depends. For the record, Zelgius does NOT approve of the relationship, but since it doesn't seem to affect Sephiran's abilities as a Prime Minister or his plans moving forward is mostly uncaring.

Radiant Dawn. Oh, boy, Radiant Dawn. First, it fixes one of the game's greatest crimes, reducing Tanith to a mere 10 lines of dialogue outside of the generic ''support conversations'' - she has a personal investment in the plot again, beyond being Sanaki's other bodyguard (a role that is greatly reduced thanks to Naesala and Sigrun both playing the same role, with them both being playable, unlike in Path). Radiant Dawn also has their pre-battle conversation, which I'd actually completely forgotten about when planning this ship with Pearl but does seem to support at least their characterization in it.

Tanith: So long as you're alive, the doors don't open? I've got an easy solution to that problem. Sephiran: Tanith, you are a kind woman. Tanith: Don't flatter yourself. I do this only for Lady Sanaki.

In canon, Tanith is dismissive of him, but Sephiran seems admiring. Where Sigrun's dialogue showed she had a great deal of trust in the man, Tanith doesn't say such a thing - entirely because she isn't the kind of person to say such a thing. She likely trusted Sephiran as well, but due to being more strictly professional than Sigrun, refuses to say such a thing to the man. Sephiran calling her a "Kind Woman" is not just his own suicidal imuplses talking, but seeing through her lies and challenging her on them - identifying the kind of person she really is beneath all the professional stance and cold demeanor.

Now. Assuming the ship exists. First, I'd like to provide the custom pre-battle dialogue that Pearl helped me write, because it hurts.

Sephiran: Gracious! This is turning into quite the spectacle, isn't it? Well, if you've anything to say, I urge you to do so before I proceed to do my goddess's will. Tanith, any last words? Tanith: ...I loved you, Sephiran. Sephiran: And I, you. I take consolation in knowing that this goddess' earth was blessed with you, despite how covered in scum it is.

Tanith feels betrayed, on a level she never quite expected to. The Senate's betrayal had been expected, but Sephiran? She trusted Sephiran, just as she does in canon, and even more as she feels as if he's been lying to her the entire time. Within the context of the Tanith/Sephiran verse, it's assumed that she's the one who ends up fighting him - considering Sanaki refuses to, and Ike is likely still wounded/tired from the fight with Zelgius.

And so, here's @delleal murdering my feelings forever. Yes, that's Tanith's sonic sword.

So other than adding a new layer of tragedy to the basic ending, how does the ship impact Radiant Dawn? Well...Sephiran's joining the party in New Game+ makes more sense, now. Not only does he know that rulers can be kind if guided properly (Sanaki) and that the Branded are not necessarily isolated as he'd feared they would be (Soren, Micaiah), but he's managed to grow romantically attached to a human for the second time in his life - resulting in his faith that humanity was inherently flawed, with Altina being an exception, shaking slightly. It just takes a greater number of people and important relationships for him to realize that his stance against them for what happened in Serenes and before was wrong; and now his helping against Ashera, as he realizes his mistake, feels more justified than ''and here's your reward for pulling off the bullshit New Game+ demands''.

Honestly, it's still up in the air if they reunite or split up after Radiant Dawn's New Game+. Tanith...doesn't take betrayal very well. But that’s what threads are for.

Conclusion

You should support the Tanith x Sephiran initiative because:

It gives Tanith some much needed additional backstory for her time in Begnion; helps Sephiran's face turn in the endgame of New Game+ Radiant Dawn make more sense; Lets Sanaki have a functioning family unit and the girl deserves it; Has an adorable and hilarious Teasing Man/Serious Girl dynamic for threads, and most importantly manages to be a large setup for a full-scale Rennaisance era tragedy as Tanith is betrayed and ultimately (Attempts) to kill him.

And also because I’m probably going to stop not referencing it in threads so you’re going to need to be on board with it to some degree if you don’t want blindsided. Godspeed.

[artlessictoan]

How I’d do Naruto Next Gen

okok I’ve been wanting to do something more in depth and organised than my usual ranting about how everything is terrible now, so here we go! (though lbr this is just my usual ranting but 10x longer)

for the sake of brevity ha and my own piece of mind I’m not gonna go into how unnecessarily hetro the ending was and how everyone should’ve been gay and hey not every couple absolutely had to get married and/or have kids and also nart should’ve gotten the opportunity to realise that becoming hokage wasn’t necessary to achieve his real goal of becoming someone loved and accepted by others and he deserved so much better tbh and why isn’t sak just running the whole show and why isn’t there more sand sibs, bc let’s face it none of that was ever gonna happen, so these ideas are mostly built with the premise that all the canon couples stay canon and all the kids are still around and the product of those ships and the big plot things that happened (like nart becoming hokage and the like) stay roughly the same

forewarning bc else someone’s bound to say something; if you enjoy the next gen stuff? not a problem! that’s great, people enjoying stuff is a good thing! I wish I could enjoy more stuff, bc enjoying things is far more fun than not enjoying things! everyone has a different taste though and for me – and a lot of other people – the way that the next gen has turned out has been a disappointment, this post is for those people, so we can talk about why we think it’s failed and what we would’ve like to see instead, if you don’t feel that way about it.. well just scroll on past this post and keep enjoying the things you enjoy! have an absolute blast, you’ve earned it!

under the cut bc I am apparently incapable of keeping my rambling concise, there’s 2000 words of only vaguely coherent thoughts and tangents, so maybe get yourself a cuppa and a snack before trudging through it (some of this I’ve said in other posts before but w/e)

---

first off lets change some of the kids’ personalities, there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with any of them, but like….. 90% are carbon copies of one of their parents (and mostly their dads but I won’t get into that issue rn) which is ridiculous, bc personality traits aren’t genetic?? like my mum is super chill and sensible and my dad is short-tempered, but I’m an anxious mess and my bro is an anti-social control freak.. we didn’t get any of that from either of our parents

while it’s certainly true that you might be influenced by them (me and mum share a lot of interests and tastes), it’s not a hard and fast rule and I don’t find it realistic that EVERY kid takes after their parents, though I probably wouldn’t have such a problem with it if they were more a mix of both parents than just their dads, so here’s some potential alterations:

Boruto. good fucking lord, no, we did not need a clone of Naruto heading another series, if we wanted to see a rambunctious scamp who gets into trouble but loves his friends a whole lot and has a knack for giving inspirational speeches, then there’s already a whole 700 chap manga for that! one with a far more likable and interesting rambunctious scamp tbqh. so how about we make a few alterations, maybe instead of taking after Nart, Bolt takes a bit more after Hinata? a little quiet and a bit of a pushover, but someone who’ll quickly stick up for a friend and has an ease of communication that’s a bit more Nart? not shy so much as laidback and composed, maybe he isn’t all that interested in being a ninja too, like he’s quite skilled but is a pacifist and would much rather get a civilian job as idk a baker or gardener or something

Shikadai. only a few minor changes here bc I really do like the kid as he is, I’d just like to see him using Tema’s abilities too (and maybe also being just a bit more snarky and unyielding like his mum)

Inojin. I’m kinda torn on this one, bc I do like that he’s a lot like Sai (at least in the anime, he seems to have a pretty different personality from what little we’ve seen of him in the manga???), but I think it’d be pretty interesting if he was just not like either of his parents, maybe if he was very quiet and subdued, but also the mastermind behind all the kid’s pranks, has a mischievous streak that often shocks people, but his friends always love hanging out with him bc of it. also why doesn’t he have Ino’s powers? let’s give him Ino’s powers too

Sand Kids 2.0. ok so at this point we haven’t seen nearly enough of them to say much either way but I have negative faith in kishi and ike so I’ll just say that I want them all to be Gaara’s adopted kids (since it’s still unclear if it’s just Shinki or all of ‘em atm) and I want them to be exactly like this shameless plug for me and @spellfire01‘s versions of them which are the best fucking versions and I will protect my children with my life

now some changes to the original cast (this is where I’m gonna get proper bitter, prepare yourselves):

OH NARUTO MY POOR CHILD WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU I’ve already talked about this but let me just reiterate in as eloquent a way as I can; Naruto would never become a neglectful father. N e v e r. not after the childhood he went through, no matter how much work he had to do as kage, don’t dare fucking try and tell me that Naruto – "It's almost unbearable, isn't it… the pain of being all alone. I know that feeling; I've been there, in that dark and lonely place, but now there are others, other people who mean a lot to me. I care more about them than I do myself, and I won't let anyone hurt them… They rescued me from my loneliness" – Uzumaki would EVER neglect his kids. just fucking don’t. in this version Nart is a doting and involved dad (perhaps a little too much, to the point that his kids find him kinda exhausting and have to ask him to leave them alone sometimes) who sends his clones to work at the office while he hangs out with his family.. I honestly don’t know why he doesn’t already do that

let all the girls out of their houses to do some ninja work for the love of god

poor put-upon Shino-sensei is alright.. but we’ve already had that with Iruka, I’d honestly much rather see the Cool Sensei who keeps all the kids in line without even doing much of anything and has a knack for inspiring them and always has a line of students trailing after him asking to hear more of his awesome ninja stories and everyone always trying to show off when he’s around, bc Shino is literally The Best

have Sauce and Saku be divorcees. seriously, are even the people who ship them happy with how their relationship has turned out? they barely see each other and apparently it’s been that way since chap 699, so why not just have them split up? it really wouldn’t change much, just say that, at some point after Sarada was born, they realised that they were both gay incompatible personality-wise and they were both so busy with their individual work that there wasn’t much of a relationship to lose. not only would this be good for both their characters (there’s no reason they couldn’t still be good friends) and just more sensible all-round, but it would also be a nice way to show that not every childhood romance/first love works out and that’s perfectly fine and normal and they can still live happy, full lives afterwards!

speaking of Sauce, let him spend at least a little bit of time interacting with his friends and family in Konoha, even if he’s still mostly travelling around on important missions he should at least be taking every opportunity to visit his daughter when he’s in the area, seriously, c’mon

Temari got done so dirty in that one episode.. here’re some much better words than I could ever muster but generally I’d want her to be less the ‘scary, overbearing, harsh’ mother and more the ‘strict but cool and sneaky’ mother, like she’d honestly be the type to use reverse psychology and gentle manipulation, she’d make her boy do some seemingly meaningless task that somehow makes him have an epiphany and come back to her when he’s done like “I know what I did wrong now and I’m sorry” than just shout at him and refuse to make dinner (also I just really like to hc that she’s a terrible cook so it’s Shikamaru who does all the cooking anyway)

it’d be really great to see Hina either being the new clan head or at least otherwise involved in Hyuuga clan politics, so we could actually see how she’s working to destroy that whole slavery thing they’ve got going, rather than that plotline just being dropped somewhere around the end of the chunin exam arc and never picked up again (I mean I assume that it’s all supposed to be fixed by now, but that’s not the kinda thing that should happen entirely off-screen) and so we can see her life revolving around something other than Nart and her kids, she’s remarkably capable and had so much potential but she’s been denied every opportunity to really exist as her own character by the writers

Kiba…… what the hell is going on with Kiba? where is he? what is he doing? how’s he feeling these days? is he supposed to be married to that nameless cat lady we saw for a single panel? these are things we shall never know I guess. tbh what I’d really LOVE to see would be Kiba-sensei, just imagine him and Shino both being teachers who work in completely opposite ways, Shino is the quiet, inspiring, lowkey scary one and Kiba is the gigantic fucking dork one who cheers his students on way too loud and makes the classes super fun and joins in the kids games, him and Shino have a class rivalry and Kiba is constantly roping students into joining his attempts to prank Shino (they’ve never once succeeded but oNE DAY)

Ino should be the next head of Konoha’s intelligence division, I will fight kishi on this one

why the actual fuck is oroch still happily living it up in his penthouse lab?? kill the fucker. or at the very least imprison the fucker. just say that Mitsuki was an old project of his that somehow kept developing in his absence, or was a product of research carried out by some lackeys’ years after he’s gone, anything that means I don’t have to accept that everyone has apparently forgiven him for everything and knows that he’s still experimenting on kids but just don’t care

and on that last note: Justice for Yamato 2k17

right now let’s get onto the actual plot/story for this very self-pandering au

make Sarada the main char. while I can see why they would choose to go with Boruto, honestly Salad’s more interesting a character and! A Girl!! Main Character!!!! I NEED IT!!!!!! focus on her goal to be hokage and her struggles with her parents and follow up on that ‘restoring the Uchiha’ plot thread that just.. dropped right off the map somewhere between 699 and 700, her reconciling what her clan was with what she wants to make it

get rid of that weird demon-sensing eye thing that’s going on. and the demon thing in general. and also that jarring post-apocalypse future thing they’re building up. I didn’t slog through over a decade of kishi’s bullshit just so my kids didn’t get to live long, happy lives. make the plot just slice-of-life fluff, nothing more dangerous than a bully, just some kids trying to be awesome ninja in a world that doesn’t really need ninja anymore bc peace and all that

waaay more of Chocho, Himawari and Inojin (at least enough so they all get equal billing)

show how the ninja world has grown and developed since the end of the original series (not just technologically), what do ninja do now that there aren’t any wars and international relationships are at an all-time high? have missions completely gone from being combat and intel based to more about construction and assistance? are ninja numbers actually dropping, favouring civilian jobs in these more peaceful times? how well are people – ninja or not – adjusting to these changes? is learning ninja techniques still encouraged but in a way that’s more about culture and traditions than actual use in combat (in the same way that swordplay today is mostly practiced for performance, fun and sport, rather than out of any real-life practicality)? there are so many interesting things to explore that you don’t even need to be adding in new threats to keep the series entertaining

I’ve said this before, but I think it’d be really cool and cute if after the end of the war and with some drastic changes to the ninja world’s politics, this next gen is less about becoming ninja, than realising that they’ll never be ninja (at least not in the way that their parents were) and how they react to that. maybe they’re frustrated because they hear so many cool stories about the grand battles of the previous generation and they want to be able to do those things too damnit! so the kids are just going around trying to be super-awesome ninja in a world that doesn’t really need ninja anymore, picking fights and trying to make their boring d-rank missions seem more important and dangerous than they really are, maybe at some point they learn a bit more about how hard and traumatising that life was for their parents and why the world had to change, until they eventually decide that if the role of a ninja has to change, then together they’re gonna discover what that new role will be, what will being a ninja really mean in this new, peaceful world?

and, a final ending note: fuck ike’s sickening treatment of Sarada with regards to her sexualised presentation and the disgusting reveal that someone taught Boruto (a young child!) the sexy jutsu. Let The Kids Be Kids 2k17