#Jamie and Matt have been sacrificed

[kawhh]

Nobody can officially judge me, it’s my birthday 🫡

[marireadshellblazer]

Constantine TV Series Episode 4 “A Feast of Friends”

Aight, I feel the need to express some feelings about this episode. I’m not sure this is going to be terribly articulate, but I’ll do my best. Let’s do this.

First off, it’s obvious to anyone who has read Hellblazer that this episode is based off of the first two issues of the comic book series. As I wrote in my post about my experience reading it, these issues were the perfect way to start off the series. It’s like “BOOM! This is how it is! Get ready for some serious shit! This is your only warning; this is what you’re in for.” Even though they did change the story for the episode, I still absolutely loved it. The storyline from the comics is a favorite of mine, but even with the changes made in order to adapt it for TV, this was an awesome episode. In fact, it’s my favorite episode of the TV series. Here’s why!  

   Why is it episode 4?

  Unlike the comics this story was adapted to be episode 4, meaning it doesn’t start the TV series. So, why wouldn’t it start the TV series? I think that you have to look at it from a few different perspectives.

  Let’s start with the comic: Issues 1 and 2, titled Hunger and A Feast of Friends respectively, make up the first arc of the Hellblazer series. Most fans know, however, that Hellblazer is not John’s first appearance in comics; he got his own series after appearing throughout the American Gothic story arc of Swamp Thing. Consequently, many people came into Hellblazer at the time having some familiarity with the character. While this chapter does expand on John’s character some, this doesn’t serve as a major introduction to him. They just drop the reader into one of his nightmare-inducing everyday situations with little to no preparation. Those who are familiar with his role in Swamp Thing will, odds are, not find these issues to be terribly weird or particularly jarring considering it’s in a series about John; they have a good idea what they are in for.

   Here is a quick run-down: John returns to his apartment in Paddington after dealing with the horror show that is the Brujeria in the Swamp Thing comics. Exhausted, he comes back to an unwelcome guest; Gary Lester. Gary is one of the friends who was involved in the Newcastle incident (which is fully explained in issue #11), which left each of them scarred in their own way. Gary dealt with the aftermath via drugs, which have left him wide open for other issues. After foolishly releasing a demon from a sacrificial victim, Gary runs to John for help dealing with the destruction said demon is causing. In this case it’s a hunger demon that causes people to feast upon whatever they greatly desire; food, a crucifix, and even an athlete committing autocannibalism. With help from club owner and Voodoo practitioner Papa Midnight, John betrays his vulnerable and trusting friend in order to stop the demon by instead making him the new sacrifice. Trapping the demon inside of Gary, the literal and figurative ghosts of John’s past haunt and torment him mentally as his friend dies slowly and in agony, ending this arc with a melancholy feeling. John stopped a demon, but at the cost of a friend who truly trusted and cared for him.

Using this story to begin the TV series as is, however, would have been more than a little strange. In the minds of most people outside of the comic book world, John Constantine was first introduced to them via the horrifyingly inaccurate Keanu Reeves film. (I love Keanu, I really do, but that film give me agita). Or, if they were introduced to the show after it had already aired, they are introduced via Matt Ryan’s masterful work portraying him in Legends of Tomorrow. While he does an incredible job in both Constantine and Legends (to the point where I find that I may simply be unable to accept anyone else taking on the role in live action) it depresses me terribly that Legends toned down John’s character so much with all the goofiness. It did not suit John at all! If anything, I find myself feeling sorry for Matt Ryan, who tried so hard to do John’s character justice. Uhg.

   Anyway…Already, a lot of the audience is going to be more than a little taken aback by the Constantine series’ portrayal of the character, however comic book accurate he may be. This show is tailored to as wide of an audience as possible, meaning they expect that pretty much no one has read Hellblazer or Swamp Thing before. Consequently, having the series start by just dropping the audience into his crazy world, especially with this particular story arc, might not be the best idea. I’m not saying that his introduction is done super well with the first episode (it’s not a total wreak, but there are issues) but it would have been much harder to start with A Feast of Friends.

     Characterization

    Now, let’s look at it from another angle: characterization. As the 4th episode this was, odds are, done assuming that there would be a lot more episodes after this (oh, the painful reality), but really the viewers are still just getting to know John. So, these early episodes are supposed to establish his character. They see him as knowledgeable and ready to handle the weird and scary in the first episode, and in 2 and 3 you see that he is serious about his work, a loner, weirdly well prepared, and how he interacts with others. While in some situations he does come off like a douche, his douche-ness is on full display in this episode. Honestly, this is accurate to how he is in the comics; he’s a nasty piece of work, after all. A world class bastard. He gives Gary shit for his drug addiction pretty much the entire episode as well as his choice to mess with a demon and the chaos it made that he now has to fix. He, like in the comics, tricks Gary into helping him and it results in a slow, painful death for the man. Gary really did trust John, and not only did John betray him, but he was callous about it. Now, that’s not to say that the situation and Gary’s death doesn’t bother him, and this is also seen in both the episode and the comic, but John solders through a lot of it with his mask of stoic indifference; he blatantly a deliberately betrays his friend without much hesitation.

    John’s characterization in the show is really important. While fans of Hellblazer know what they are in for (John being a dick, betraying people, sacrificing friends, etc) the wide audience the show was meant to appeal to might not respond well to that. How is the audience supposed to relate to a character whose major personality trait in this arc is to basically be a douche (even if it is justified in a way)? Generally speaking, TV shows try to have a lot of characters with redeeming traits and very basic bitch personalities so that as much of the audience as possible can relate to them in some capacity. They can describe the main character as “cool, quirky, sweet, loving, etc” because that is what network television strives for. The point is for the audience to relate to and find a lot of reasons to like the character, especially the main character. The audience is supposed to be able to see the qualities of the character in themselves. An example of a douchy character being changed for network television is the titular character in TV series Lucifer. He can be an asshat at times, but his redeeming qualities shine through in pretty much every episode; he’s helpful, has a strong sense of justice, and cares about Chloe. He often goes out of his way to understand others, although he often misses the mark, and tries to fix problems and issues that he accidentally creates in order to keep relationships with others. These are things people can relate to, and although he can be rather uncouth, it’s played for laughs, and he has more redeeming qualities than not. If the Constantine series started off with John coldly betraying a friend after giving him shit for his addiction the entire episode with not a lot of his positive traits coming through, from the perspective of most people, this might not be a good way to try and connect with the audience. I’m not saying there are people who don’t/won’t, but again, this is network television and they tend to play on the safe side.

    Comic book -> TV

    Ok so let’s move onto the meat of this; the changes made to the story. People always complain when something isn’t totally accurate to the book down to every last detail (Harry Potter *cough cough*) and making story and character changes to adaptions of comic books is nothing new. However, to be fair, there are some legitimately good reasons for this. Time, money, limits technology wise, and pacing are good examples. The most important thing to consider, in my opinion, is that we are going from a comic book to television. Literally, that is the most important thing. Essentially, what the writers had to do when adapting this story for the show was carry over the plot from one medium to another, which is tricky.

    What’s a medium? A medium is a platform that allows a message to be shared or presented. So, using the medium of a comic book is how Jamie Delano was able to share his message; the story of John Constantine. The writers of the television series then had to adapt the story from comics, a visual and written medium, into a different kind of visual medium with different features to it; stage craft, voice, music, etc.

    Comic books have features for story telling; the size and placement of the panels, the writing, word bubbles, narration bubbles, colors, art style, etc. The pro’s to this are that you don’t get paragraph after paragraph describing a place or a person; they literally show them to you and the art presents those details. They also allow for the art to take in the reader emotionally through what the images convey; messy art, sudden loss of color, or even a sudden blank page after a tragic event are simple yet effective ways to convey emotion that are, at times, difficult or downright impossible to put into words. And sometimes the writer wants to leave things to interpretation or allude to something without saying it outright. While this can be done in writing, it can be done through the art as well, and depending on how skilled the artist or creative a set up can be just as effective if not more.

     In television storytelling can be done with another wide array of features. Close-ups on the actors, the actors and their performance in general, music, background narration, changes in location, lighting, ect. This allows for emotions to come across in different ways; the quality of the acting can make or break the effectiveness of the scene, and music and lighting can alter the message or feel of scene in order to change or heighten the point, pacing, the use of CGI or practical effects, etc. So, keeping this in mind, there are many features that are exclusive to film that are not in comic books, and vice versa. So, as you can imagine, adapting the stories or message from one medium to another is nowhere near as straightforward as people like to think it is. In other words, I tend to give the writers/actors/etc a break when it comes to adaption because, honestly, there is a lot that goes into it and it’s not like I could do better, honestly. I mean, there are piss poor adaptions, I’m not gunna lie, but there are a lot of them that I think don’t get enough credit simply because it’s “different” in some ways.

     Aight, let’s first refer back to what I said earlier concerning the comic; these issues aren’t so much an intro to John as they are literally following him from the end of the American Gothic arc in Swamp Thing and to his apartment where he gets involved with more shit (no rest for the wicked, amirite?). So, again, not a good way to start the TV series. In the TV show, they also have to tie in the changes they set up in the previous episodes. Continuity, my friends.

    So, what is different? Here are a few things: John having a safe house, being in the US, Chaz being American and also not involved, Zed being involved and being Latina, the new angel character Manny, and the absence of Papa Midnight really change a lot about the story. The heart of it is John’s relationship with Gary and the defeat of the demon, which thankfully remains unchanged at it’s core. This is the central idea that drives this story and I think that idea was actually done a bit better in the film medium than in the comic.

   Keeping all of these factors and all of these changes that needed in order to keep things consistent with the TV show’s changes, let’s get into why I think that this episode is good even with the changes, but why I love it.

I love It

      After taking some time to consider things, I realize that what really makes this episode great is the actors; specifically, Matt Ryan and Jonjo O'Neill. The chemistry between them is undeniable. The way they look at each other and how they talk to each other really makes you feel like, at one time at least, they were friends. The scene where Gary swipes the ID badge and says “I learned from the best” is a great example of this. The look on his face and John’s; I don’t have a real eloquent way to say it. I just sort of feel it.

The retcon of Gary’s character really helps with this. Being that Gary is introduced and then killed off in two issues, you don’t really get to know his character in the comics. He’s only in one episode of the TV series, yet he feels more fleshed out. Soul was added to the character. Showing his struggles with addiction, as well as what I suspect to be depression and PTSD, really humanized him. In the episode, he was more than just a desperate, annoying junky; he was a flawed and relatable human being. Who hasn’t made a mistake? How many people have made BIG mistakes with consequences difficult to handle? How many people are haunted by their actions from the past? Addiction and the effects is has on people is devastating. I’m glad that they kept the ending true to the comics, but the way he was portrayed in the episode really made me feel for Gary in this case. It almost made me hope that maybe he really would get better, and have the chance at redemption that he was trying so desperately to find. But it wouldn’t be a John Constantine series without an ending like this one; John loses a friend and slowly digs himself deeper into hell.

Of course, it’s the ending of the episode that people really remember best. It’s the scenes that solidified, at least for me, Matt Ryan as John Constantine. It’s what really helped me have faith in the series. Watching it now, and seeing what really could have been, makes the episode somewhat bitter sweet for me. I felt like this is when the series really found it’s footing; the acting, storytelling, and how well arcs from Hellblazer could be adapted. This is where I think Matt Ryan hit his stride and we could see what he was really capable of as an actor if they let him spread his wings. In the earlier episodes I was honestly unsure. He looked the part, but the soul of the character had not really had a chance to shine through.

How John treats Gary at the end really made a difference, too. Holding him while he was in pain, and sitting with him as he died in agony; these simple yet effective changes really drove home John’s humanity in the face of evil and the tough decisions he has to make. The look he gives many at the very end, the anger and sorrow he seems to be struggling to hold back, is haunting.

In this episode, Matt Ryan’s love and dedication to John’s character shine. Seeing the story in live action gave this story a stronger impact. Even without a lot of the social commentary that was present in the comic, the live action element is what really helps drive the story home. I think it’s because it’s real people showing these very real emotions that can be hard to translate into art. Not to say that John Ridgway did a bad job, but it’s different in live action.

I hope I was able to get these thoughts across. I wasn’t sure if I should share this or not, but it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a long time. I know this is sort of jumbled, but hopefully it’s not a total mess to read.

[wessonba]

I signed up for a Diana Gabaldon talk and book signing in Fairfax, Virginia well before Outlander Starz was a thing.  It was a sold out event and the one and only time I ever stood in line to meet someone famous. Worried about my navigating (and rightfully so) D.C. traffic, my husband drove me five and a half hours for an event he didn’t have a ticket for. Unbeknownst to him, I had put him on the waiting list and he got in!!!! He was thrilled (hard eye roll here)!!!! As it was our first time at such an event, we didn’t know what to expect and were a little shocked to see a line into the auditorium that wrapped itself through and around a very large campus building.  I was walking with a cane at the time and crestfallen, I knew I would not be able to stand in line. My big burly manly man of a husband breached the crowds of plaid clad women to secure us a place while I sat feeling guilty in a chair.  It remains one of the nicest things he has ever done for me.  Listening to Diana speak and meeting her in person was a surreal ordeal, but well worth everything we went through.  As great as it was to meet her and despite my love for the actors on the show, I can’t see myself waiting outside or inside a venue for the hours it seems to take to meet them.  However, …I swear I would for Matt B. Roberts, LOL!

What can I say?  I’m a fan of writing and Outlander and he is my favorite Outlander script writer. I feel like I “get” him and the way he thinks. Well. at least about Outlander. No, …I really DO get how he thinks BECAUSE of Outlander.  I have learned that not everything a writer wants to be said or happen on a show comes to fruition. There are a lot of voices and logistics influencing the final product.  However, it is obvious to me what are Matt’s focuses and influences when I see an episode he has written.  In my humble opinion, he truly understands why this story and its characters are special. He sees through to the heart of what is happening. He gets what the story is saying about people, life, love, and family. That he is able to translate that visually continues to be a wonder to me.  Case in point? Outlander episode 4.9 “The Birds and the Bees”.

I recently republished a blog post  in honor of the 4.9 episode. I wrote about how I have grown to appreciate Diana’s imaginings of the first meeting of Jamie and his adult daughter. In that article, I point out how the expectations of that moment would have to have been unrealistic.  The import placed on this meeting cannot be understated for either the characters or the fandom. I remember the first time I read it, I was a bit disappointed. I think I was expecting some equivalent of colonial fireworks.  Diana didn’t give me or Brianna what we expected instead she gave us what we …needed. I found myself measuring this episode against that standard.  Did Matt B. Roberts and writing partner Toni Graphia give us what we expected or what we needed?

We Needed to See Their Faces

I’m starting to appreciate how important it is for actors to emote. Not everything can be communicated in dialogue nor should it be in a visual medium.  We sometimes need to see what a character is feeling and I felt their were some really important feelings revealed in this episode.  Lizzie, Ian, Murtagh, Roger and all three Frasers told us volumes with a mere expression.

I found myself really looking at Roger’s face in this scene.  At first he seems just irritated that he still has to deal with Bonnet.  He doesn’t have time to deal with this piece of shit. He needs to find Brianna. When the reality of what the Captain is saying, he will be sailing to Philadelphia, starts to sink in you can see the resignation.  I’m not sure why, but I felt like Roger’s expression was slightly sardonic. Of course he isn’t done with Bonnet, of course he is about to get pulled away from Brianna before he can tell her he hasn’t left.  This is no idle threat. He is well and truly screwed. However, he cannot show too much emotion. You don’t want to give this monster any clues as to how you are feeling and give him any ammunition. How ironic that the one person he is desperate to protect from Bonnet is already his victim. His “especially when it comes to women” line made me cringe.  I think uttering “poor Roger” under my breath is about to become a regular thing.

Brianna. Within the span of a few minutes we see her face reveal what has to be the entire span of human emotion. I felt emotionally exhausted just watching her swing from grief to hope and back again.

I’m not sure I need to comment.  These faces speak for themselves.

We Needed to Know Roger Didn’t Leave

There were some pretty big departures from the book in the last few episodes and I have learned (not easily mind you) to be patient.  Episodic TV can try that patience when you have to wait a whole week to get answers and everyone in the fandom is speculating and spouting disappointment. There are some things I still need to know about Roger and his storyline, but the biggest thing I needed to know was if he actually left. I needed to know he didn’t. I needed to know that it was just an argument fueled by some really piss poor communication, but that it was just an argument and not an abandonment. Nothing more happened than what has happened in my own and many other’s relationships. People got angry and said stuff they really didn’t mean out of hurt and stubborn pride. I needed to see when Roger did leave it wasn’t his choice. I knew when he left with Bonnet, he was coming back.

We Needed This Scene, This Exact Scene

Jamie meets the child he sacrificed all for. The child he never thought to see. Like all important moments like this, reality is never quite as we expected.  Nothing is ever as good or as bad as we might think.  Brianna only knows what she has been told about her “father” Jamie. He had to seem the stuff of legend and fairy tales to her. Her first view of her father was of him relieving himself. That very human reality took him very quickly from fairytale hero to just a man.  It was what exactly what she needed. Her expectations needed this adjustment.  I was thrilled to see they kept this part of the book!  Well, maybe not actually thrilled, maybe a bit uncomfortable, but you get the point.  She rounded that corner looking for someone bigger than life and found a man, a man whose arms were safe place to rest.

In my blog, I point out that Brianna learned more about her father in the few minutes he didn’t know who she was than in all the stories she could have been told about him.  We know fans can often loudly complain about any changes from the book. There were changes to this scene, but none that greatly affected its impact. Brianna learns that her father is loyal, firm, but kind and most importantly that he loves her.  It was so very close to how Diana imagined it.  Creating that visual representation of her imaginings was definitely made easier by actors who seem to inhabit their characters. Sam Heughan was absolutely amazing.  Sophie Skelton played Bree’s excitement and trepidation to perfection. When she fell into Jamie’s arms all felt right with the world.

We Needed Our Mothers

I still struggle with Claire’s decision to leave her daughter in the future. I appreciate that the show allowed Claire to show us she still struggled with that decision. Although she seemed shocked and overjoyed to see Bree, I had the sense that she was also dismayed.  The past is a dangerous place for a woman and I was struck by all that happened because Bree needed her mother. I would find it difficult to reconcile all that loss and wondered at how it would affect Claire’s relationship with Jamie. Bree is obviously struggling and Claire can see it, but she also knows that Bree is a woman now and as such can no longer be compelled as a child to tell her what is going on. However, Brianna needs her mother maybe more than she ever has.  She needs her mother to draw her out and comfort her.  We needed to see that happen.

We Needed To Feel Our Way

I love that this show takes its time with people. The tender and tentative dance between Bree and Jamie was needed.  They are virtual strangers. Strangers who want and hope and long and need to find a way to a come together and build a relationship. We needed to see them tiptoe around Frank. We needed to hear Jamie’s gratitude towards Frank and Bree’s guilty feelings about wanting to be with Jamie. We needed to see Jamie’s avid attentiveness to Bree’s every move and his constant furtive glances and smiles. We needed childhood stories, working together on the ridge, and time around the table family.

We Needed to See That Bree Understood

While it was obvious that Jamie was studying Bree.  It wasn’t quite as obvious that she was studying him and maybe more importantly, she was studying Jamie with Claire.  Bree telling Claire about Franks’s knowing she came back to Jamie was unexpected. The sadness with which this news was received gave me lump in my throat. I felt for all of well-intentioned choices and unintentional pain in Claire’s marriage to Frank. I’m not sure what Claire was supposed to do with that knowledge except feel guilt and regret, but Bree’s acknowledging she understood why Claire had to return was also unexpected and a…gift.

We Needed to Share Our Feelings

The quiet conversations between Jamie and Claire were everything. I get another lump in my throat just thinking about them. Jamie sitting on the edge of the bed rubbing his aching hand, a reminder to us that he too suffered what he does not yet know Brianna suffered. It reminds us that he has known so much pain and loss in his life and Brianna’s return is an unforseen and never dreamed of reality that he doesn’t want to end. He is human after all and a father wants his child to stay. Jamie’s openness and vulnerability with Claire is one of the main reasons this couple holds a special place in my heart. He is able to share his fears and regrets and his joys with her and know she does not judge him. In her arms, he safe to be himself without fear. In return, we know that he constantly thinks of her and a large part of his joy in Brianna’s return is because he knows Claire misses her so much.  His joy in Claire’s return to him has to be constantly colored by her leaving Bree. This child was the impetus for all the sacrifice and the 20 years of loneliness. Their constant touching and silent looks communicate their gratitude for all they have. But, I also feel each touch acknowledges the weight of all they have lost. They have Bree now, but they lost 20 years together with her.

We Needed Something to be Simple

In the end, Bree’s pregnancy, Claire’s promise, Lizzie’s mistaken assumptions, Jamie’s parental protective instincts, will result in complications that will change everything for everyone and I can’t say I’m looking forward to witnessing what happens.  And so, I’m grateful that Matt and Toni gave us something else we needed. The gave us something simple. They gave us birds, and bees and a name Jamie has longed to hear …Da.

    A sweetness that cuts…a reflection on Outlander episode 4.9 “Birds and the Bees I signed up for a Diana Gabaldon talk and book signing in Fairfax, Virginia well before…

[a-lucha-brother]

Forgot to make a post about Dynamite (02/02) so here’s a post about Rampage (04/02) instead with a positive and negative for each match/segment:

Adam Cole (W) vs Evil Uno

+ Uno looked good in the match, crowd loved him and commentary put him over, very nice, very wholesome.

- Match was barely 5 minutes long, I swear Cole’s entrance was longer. Match basically served to set up Cole’s 2022 goals within AEW

Samuel Elliot Guevara (W) vs  Isiah Kassidy

+ YES YES YES this match was fucking awesome and Isiah was made to look really damn good here (case in point that they’re sort of pushing him off this but also kind of sacrificing him idk).

- Bro, I am just not vibing at all with the whole Andrade/Hardy partnership, ugh, it’s overbloated and lacking any real chemistry. I love Private Party and Matt together, I think they’ve been great as the HFO, but the AHFO is trash. Also Darby’s random inclusion (not random but you know what I mean, he doesn’t fit in with this storyline and they need to axe it) was just a bit awkward for me and kind of out of character if you ask me.

(Bonus +: setting up Sammy vs Darby for the TNT Championship is hype though.) (Secondary Bonus +: Chris mentioning Sammy wearing his Inner Circle cut, making me emotional and reminding us about what’s coming on Dynamite)

+ Jade Cargill is going to become 27-0 and I dig it.

Thunder Rosa vs Mercedes Martinez (DQ)

+ Both women looked GOOD, which is great cause I love both of them, and didn’t really mind the finish as much 

- Having said that, whilst it doesn’t hurt either women going forward which is the main thing, it always leaves a bad taste in the mouth when something like this happens. Cause we’ll now just be having rematch after rematch, Rosa is entirely away from any title picture and Martinez has no real direction either. Still, banger matches to come.

(Bonus +: Chris Jericho I’VE NEVER SEEN A DQ ON RAMPAGE BEFORE THAT DOESN’T HAPPEN HERE!! - I see you Christopher and I love you)

- Britt sassing Jamie (STOP IT, leave my gf alone!!)

+ IT’S TIME FOR THE MAIN EVENT

Absolute Ricky Starks (W) vs Jay Lethal

+ OMG THE CHEMISTRY uuuuuuh it’s soooooo gooooood. This match was pure artform and that counter finish good lord I popped like a mf’er for that one.

- For the love of GOD (Ric Flair), can we juuuuuuuust stooooooop with the distractions and the run ins all the goddamn time, honestly there’s too many moving pieces in AEW and it’s exhausting. Also, what did this match do for any of these men, like Starks and Hobbs STILL just going to have matches with Dante Martin, yawn move on please, where does Starks (and Team Tazz) go from here, where does Jay Lethal go from here, I know his time won’t probably come for potentially another full year depending on what happens with ROH, but like.......

Rampage - :  Nothing really progressed with any of the storylines tbh. Rampage + : But my god were the matches on here amazing.

[itunesbooks]

The Edge of Us - Jamie McGuire

The Edge of Us Jamie McGuire Genre: Contemporary Price: $5.99 Publish Date: June 11, 2019 Publisher: Jamie McGuire Seller: Smashwords, Inc. From the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Beautiful Disaster comes a story of a fiercely independent war widow who falls for a protective hotshot firefighter in this gripping contemporary romance. Widowed before thirty, Naomi Abrams has been through a lot. Her husband Matt sacrificed his life to save his Marine brothers. Daughter of the US modern militia’s founder, heartbroken Naomi joins the Marines in Matt’s place, too-ready to do anything to help protect his team—men who are like brothers to her now. Retiring together to the town of Colorado Springs, they’ve assembled to take on the job of security at the top-secret military base, the Cheyenne Mountain Complex. As they struggle to adjust to their civilian lives, they also discover new dangers. Zeke Lund has been alone since being bumped out of the foster system at age eighteen, and now his rag-tag family consists of his hotshot brothers and sisters. Shattered by his first love, Zeke never planned to fall for someone again, especially not during fire season in the Colorado mountains, but Naomi is unlike anyone he’s ever met. She’s strong, stubborn, and takes exactly zero crap from anyone. At the top of a freezing canyon, the fire glowing down below, Zeke finally admits he may have feelings for the widow with the foul mouth and broken soul. When his health begins to fail, he wonders if he should love her enough to let her go or let her fight with him—with the real possibility of burying another man she loves. Despite hurt, pain, fires, and illness, two strong people with fragile hearts struggle to beat the odds… and their love might just be strong enough to survive it all. http://dlvr.it/R6P24W

[cover2covermom]

Goodbye July & hello August!

I don’t know about you all, but I am ready for 2020 to be over.  Am I right?

Let’s see what I read & blogged in July…

The last time I gave you all a personal update, I mentioned that we were sending our children back to school in-person….  The lie detector determined that was a lie.

As the deadline loomed over my head, we decided to select the online schooling option for our children for the first semester of school this year.  We decided that the in-person schooling option was just going to be too unpredictable, thus decided on online schooling for consistency.  Since I work in a library, I am not able to work from home.  I needed my children to have a set schedule, so that I could adjust my work schedule around their schedule.

This decision was one of the hardest decisions I’ve made.  I think every parent needs to make the decision that is best for them & their own family situation.

» The City We Became by N.K. Jemisin

The City We Became is an urban fantasy that felt like an ode to New York City.  While this was definitely a unique concept, this story did not grip me in the same way Jemisin’s Broken Earth series did.

» Call Down the Hawk (Dreamer Trilogy #1) by Maggie Stiefvater

LOVED this spin off of The Raven Cycle.  I love Ronan so much!  I listened to the audiobook (like I did with The Raven Cycle) because Will Patton’s voice suits Stiefvater’s atmospheric writing perfectly.

» Winkby Rob Harrell

Wink is a MG novel inspired by the author’s own battle with cancer.  I would recommend this one to fans of Wonder by R.J. Palacio.

» Ghost Boys by Jewell Parker Rhodes

A book about police brutality geared for the middle grade audience.  I would recommend this book to parents looking to open a dialogue about racism & police brutality with their middle grade aged kids.

» The Bridge Home by Padma Venkatraman

Set in India, The Bridge Home is an heartbreaking tale of two sisters who ran away from an abusive home.  This book punched me in the feels.

» Red, White, & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston

This was a steamy & highly entertaining new adult M/M romance.  I’d recommend this book to fans of The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue.

» Queenie by Candice Carty-Williams

While I wasn’t feeling this book at first, I really appreciated it by the end.  I enjoyed watching Queenie’s growth over the course of this book.  I’d recommend this books to fans of Normal People by Sally Rooney as they have similar tones.

» The Girl Who Drank the Moonby Kelly Barnhill

*4.5 Stars*

This was a reread for me.  I enjoyed this just as much as the first time I read it.  My criticism still stands that the climax of the story is rushed.

» My Lady Jane (The Lady Janies #1) by Cynthia Hand, Brodi Ashton, & Jodi Meadows

My Lady Jane is a historical retelling with a fantastical flare.  I found this book to be highly entertaining.

» Rodham by Curtis Sittenfeld

This was just an okay read for me.  I loved that this was a re-imagining of Hilary Clinton’s life, and I enjoyed watching her climb the political ladder.  Unfortunately, it was slow paced, boring at parts, and was just WAY too long.

» Me and White Supremacy: Combat Racism, Change the World, and Become a Good Ancestorby Layla F. Saad

The second book off my anti-racist TBR.  This book is excellent for self reflection since it is set up as a 28 day challenge with reflection questions at the end of each chapter.

» The Last Council (Amulet #4) by Kazu Kibuishi

 Another wonderful installment to the Amulet series.

» Blended by Sharon M. Draper

This was a wonderful MG contemporary that dives into the complexities of blended families & racial issues.

Goodreads Challenge Update: 84 books in 2020

Saturday 7/10

June 2020 Reading & Blogging Wrap-Up + Book Haul

Monday 7/13

Teen Librarian Archives: May & June 2020 *Being a Librarian During COVID-19*

Wednesday 7/15

Mini Book Reviews: July 2020 – Part 1

Tuesday 7/21

Mini Book Reviews: July 2020 – Part 2

Wednesday 7/22

Favorite Books of 2020 (January – June)

Tuesday 7/28

Mini Book Reviews: July 2020 – Part 3

NetGalley ARC eBooks:

» The Burning God (The Poppy War #3) by R.F. Kuang

Genre: Adult Fantasy

Release Date: November 19, 2020

The exciting end to The Poppy War trilogy, R. F. Kuang’s acclaimed, award-winning epic fantasy that combines the history of twentieth-century China with a gripping world of gods and monsters, to devastating, enthralling effect.

After saving her nation of Nikan from foreign invaders and battling the evil Empress Su Daji in a brutal civil war, Fang Runin was betrayed by allies and left for dead. 

Despite her losses, Rin hasn’t given up on those for whom she has sacrificed so much—the people of the southern provinces and especially Tikany, the village that is her home. Returning to her roots, Rin meets difficult challenges—and unexpected opportunities. While her new allies in the Southern Coalition leadership are sly and untrustworthy, Rin quickly realizes that the real power in Nikan lies with the millions of common people who thirst for vengeance and revere her as a goddess of salvation. 

Backed by the masses and her Southern Army, Rin will use every weapon to defeat the Dragon Republic, the colonizing Hesperians, and all who threaten the shamanic arts and their practitioners. As her power and influence grows, though, will she be strong enough to resist the Phoenix’s intoxicating voice urging her to burn the world and everything in it? 

This is one of my most anticipated books of 2020, so I am beyond thrilled that I was approved for this ARC!!

Physical Books:

» On the Come Up by Angie Thomas

Sixteen-year-old Bri wants to be one of the greatest rappers of all time. Or at least make it out of her neighborhood one day. As the daughter of an underground rap legend who died before he hit big, Bri’s got big shoes to fill. But now that her mom has unexpectedly lost her job, food banks and shutoff notices are as much a part of Bri’s life as beats and rhymes. With bills piling up and homelessness staring her family down, Bri no longer just wants to make it—she has to make it.

On the Come Up is Angie Thomas’s homage to hip-hop, the art that sparked her passion for storytelling and continues to inspire her to this day. It is the story of fighting for your dreams, even as the odds are stacked against you; of the struggle to become who you are and not who everyone expects you to be; and of the desperate realities of poor and working-class black families.

» Butterfly Yellow by Thanhha Lai

In the final days of the Việt Nam War, Hằng takes her little brother, Linh, to the airport, determined to find a way to safety in America. In a split second, Linh is ripped from her arms—and Hằng is left behind in the war-torn country.

Six years later, Hằng has made the brutal journey from Việt Nam and is now in Texas as a refugee. She doesn’t know how she will find the little brother who was taken from her until she meets LeeRoy, a city boy with big rodeo dreams, who decides to help her.

Hằng is overjoyed when she reunites with Linh. But when she realizes he doesn’t remember her, their family, or Việt Nam, her heart is crushed. Though the distance between them feels greater than ever, Hằng has come so far that she will do anything to bridge the gap.

» A Kind of Paradise by Amy Rebecca Tan

Amy Rebecca Tan’s debut novel is a heartwarming middle grade coming-of-age story about the power of community, the power of the library, and the power of forgiveness.

Jamie Bunn made a mistake at the end of the school year. A big one. And every kid in her middle school knows all about it. Now she has to spend her summer vacation volunteering at the local library—as punishment. It may be boring, but at least she’ll be able to hide from mean girl Trina, who’s always had it out for her, and beautiful Trey, the boy at the root of her big mistake.

Or so she thinks.

Not only does her job bring her face-to-face with both her mortal enemy and her ultimate crush, Jamie also encounters a territorial patron, an elderly movie fanatic, a super-tall painter who loves to bake, and a homeless dog. Over the course of the summer, as Jamie gets to know the library and the people in it, she finds—and gives—help where she least expects it.

And she just might find herself along the way.

» The Boy in the Black Suit by Jason Reynolds

Just when seventeen-year-old Matt thinks he can’t handle one more piece of terrible news, he meets a girl who’s dealt with a lot more—and who just might be able to clue him in on how to rise up when life keeps knocking him down—in this wry, gritty novel from the author of When I Was the Greatest.

Matt wears a black suit every day. No, not because his mom died—although she did, and it sucks. But he wears the suit for his gig at the local funeral home, which pays way better than the Cluck Bucket, and he needs the income since his dad can’t handle the bills (or anything, really) on his own. So while Dad’s snagging bottles of whiskey, Matt’s snagging fifteen bucks an hour. Not bad. But everything else? Not good. Then Matt meets Lovey. She’s got a crazy name, and she’s been through more crazy than he can imagine. Yet Lovey never cries. She’s tough. Really tough. Tough in the way Matt wishes he could be. Which is maybe why he’s drawn to her, and definitely why he can’t seem to shake her. Because there’s nothing more hopeful than finding a person who understands your loneliness—and who can maybe even help take it away.

  Which books did you read this month?

Have you read any of the books I read or hauled this month?  If so, what did you think?

Did you buy any books?  If so, which ones?

Comment below & let me know 🙂

July 2020 Reading & Blogging Wrap Up + Book Haul #BookBlogger #Bookworm #Bibliophile #WrapUp #BookTalk Goodbye July & hello August! I don't know about you all, but I am ready for 2020 to be over. 

[tipsoctopus]

Some Magpies fans fume at Bruce "risk" involving "liability", many slam "shocking" player

Newcastle’s poor form continued in dismal fashion as they crumbled to a 3-0 defeat at home to Leicester, with Steve Bruce rightly bearing the brunt of criticism from fans.

The Magpies were never really in the game in truth despite the visitors playing without Premier League top scorer Jamie Vardy, and the game seemed gift-wrapped for the Foxes after Florian Lejeune played in Ayoze Perez to open the scoring on his first return to St. James’ Park since leaving in the summer.

From then on Brendan Rodgers’ side dominated with 77% possession and two more goals, with the Frenchman at fault again for the second, meaning he too was criticised by fans.

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The defender has now started in four consecutive matches despite there being just a few days between each fixture and him only recently making a return from a long-term injury lay-off, which led supporters to question Bruce’s decision-making.

Is he actually trying to break Lejeune again? Does he not want him for the rest of the season?

— Rich Harle (@RJHarle) January 1, 2020

Lejuene is not fully fit. Was a risk to play him

— Rick Fury (@rick_vengeance) January 1, 2020

I said before the game that Lejuene should not be playing today. Isn’t fit and too much being asked of him after a year out. Better playing a fit back 4 and playing an extra man in midfield. Why play a clearly unfit player today? He needs taken off now!

— lee mc (@leemcder) January 1, 2020

Overplayed Maxim and now Lejeune and risking another long term injury. Surely against Rochdale got to give Sorensen a start

— paul allan (@paulall04339552) January 1, 2020

While fans are correct to suggest that it is not right for the centre-back to play so many games in a row considering the circumstances, Bruce’s hands have been tied due to the injuries to other defenders.

Jamaal Lascelles, Ciaran Clark and Paul Dummett are all currently sidelined and therefore there was nobody available to replace Lejeune, though of course he could have sacrificed a defender and played a back four.

Who the heck is that?! Can you name all 25 of these obscure Liverpool signings…

He will now perhaps be regretting the decision to start the 28-year-old following his torrid display, and fans certainly made it clear that he played far below the level that is required of a Toon player.

@NUFC Take Lejeune off! Dont wanna see that guy play again this season. Shocking. Absolutely shocking

— Jay Ashun (@JKOversion1) January 1, 2020

Yep. Lejeune is a different player to the one who got injured. Awful.

— Dabooka (@Dabooka) January 1, 2020

I hate to say it but lejuene looks done. He’s all over the place today and so slow. Shame was very good before his injuries #nufc

— Matt Standing (@wa7th3m) January 1, 2020

Whether it’s the injuries, fatigue or the Steve Bruce effect, Lejeune has gone from being a classy defender to an absolute liability. #nufc

— Sam GC (@Funguslover) January 1, 2020

Meanwhile, fans have also been reacting to a transfer rumour concerning Rangers’ Alfredo Morelos, as Steve Bruce has taken an interested in him.

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[footyplusau]

Four Points: Pies season over after Buckley’s big gamble



Collingwood’s season is over. If it was teetering before it is surely done now. If someone utters the words mathematic possibility scold them.

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St Kilda edge Freo in thriller

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AFL plays of round 15

AFL plays of round 15

Buddy bends a beauty, Doggies victims of feathered foes, Tex leads by example, GWS fans no doubt have nerves of steel and the Tiges win brilliantly to go top four.

St Kilda edge Freo in thriller

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St Kilda edge Freo in thriller

St Kilda edge Freo in thriller

Fremantle led for most of the game but St Kilda struck at the death to sneak home in a close encounter.

Carlisle cheap shot on Ballantyne ignites melee

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Carlisle cheap shot on Ballantyne ignites …

Carlisle cheap shot on Ballantyne ignites melee

Jack Carlisle was probably told never to hit a man when he’s down but a shot at Hayden Ballantyne proved too hard to resist.

Hawks still in the hunt

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Hawks still in the hunt

Hawks still in the hunt

Hawthorn remain in the hunt to play in the AFL finals yet again after finishing over the top of a gritty Collingwood side at the MCG.

Geelong draw after Hawkins’ misses post-siren shot

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Geelong draw after Hawkins’ misses …

Geelong draw after Hawkins’ misses post-siren shot

The Greater Western Sydney Giants escaped with a draw with Geelong on the back of a fourth-quarter surge.

Suns celebrate Gary Ablett’s 300th game in style

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Suns celebrate Gary Ablett’s 300th game …

Suns celebrate Gary Ablett’s 300th game in style

The Gold Coast Suns win over the Kangaroos ensured Ablett celebrated his 300th game with a victory.

Gary Ablett’s 300th game

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Gary Ablett’s 300th game

Gary Ablett’s 300th game

Gold Coast Suns veteran Gary Ablett played his 300th game against North Melbourne.

AFL plays of round 15

Buddy bends a beauty, Doggies victims of feathered foes, Tex leads by example, GWS fans no doubt have nerves of steel and the Tiges win brilliantly to go top four.

Two games and percentage out of the eight with only eight rounds remaining might suggest they have a chance but a side that needs to work so hard to score yet so generously offers the opposition goals is not a finals side.

This Collingwood team will not play finals because they don’t deserve to play finals. They are presently not good enough.   

Hawthorn’s season still has life for now. They have GWS next week so these things can end abruptly, but for now they have life.

This was Buckley’s big gamble. With the season on the line Nathan Buckley made a bold and surprising decision at selection. To pick Mason Cox was one thing and not unreasonable, but to drop Ben Reid to fit him in was quite another.

The Cox inclusion, it must be agreed, worked. He kicked three goals from full forward. He only took the four marks but he had shots at goal from those he did take. He also created a target to kick to and for the small forwards to rove to and straightened up the team to more confidently attack the forward fifty.

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Tim Broomhead and Alex Fasolo sharked front and centre goals from balls that dropped from the packs that collected around Cox. Darcy Moore looked more comfortable with licence to roam higher up the ground.

Plenty to play for, says Collingwood coach Nathan Buckley. Photo: AAP

With Jamie Elliott and Cox back in the team along with Fasolo, De Goey was used up the ground and not coincidentally had his best game yet as a player.

Playing on a half forward flank, out of necessity because he has the ability to find a goal, has starved De Goey of as many opportunities as he has needed to develop into the ort of player they thought he could be as a midfielder.

Interestingly Buckley did not use Cox as the second ruck – the position he seems more adept at – but continued with Moore in that role. Cox only rucked in the last term when Moore went off injured.

The issue was not that Collingwood picked Cox but that they dropped Reid. Sure, they would have been top heavy forward with Cox, Reid and Moore there as well as marking option Elliott. Reid it might have been thought would go back.

Essentially they chose to stick with Lynden Dunn as the sole tall key defender (with help from Tyson Goldsack and Jeremy Howe) instead of Reid. Reid is a premiership player and All Australian who sacrificed his game as a defender earlier in the year to play forward because that was where they needed him. Then when he was surplus as a forward he is suddenly pushed out of the team.

Reid had his head rattled last week when Brodie Grundy clattered into him in a mark but he was not dropped for fitness – he played in the VFL.

Dunn has been good this year but better than Reid? That was a surprise. Collingwood’s thinking perhaps is that Reid plays as an intercept marker and Jeremy Howe essentially plays that role – Tom Langdon also likes to intercept mark. Reid is  not quick and Collingwood has been hurt for pace. It is uncertain if he is slower than Dunn.

The Reid non-selection was not the reason Collingwood lost – even if Jarryd Roughead kicked the goal to seal the match – but it is an especially interesting subtext for the fact Collingwood is presently pursuing Reid’s younger brother Sam who is a restricted free agent about moving south from Sydney to play with his brother.

The reason Collingwood lost is the reason they often lose. They turn the ball over and gift the opposition easy goals through bad decision making or bad kicking. Collingwood diligently rewards the team that offers pressure and patience to wait for the error.

On Queen’s Birthday they helped Melbourne back into the game when they were running over them early. Against Hawthorn they helped them recover the momentum whenever Collingwood had assumed an advantage: Jeremy Howe’s kick-in in the last term, Tom Phillips and Taylor Adams centering kicks to opposition arms.

Collingwood now plays Essendon next week, which shapes as a terrific contest of two teams determined to help the opposition. The Bombers have shown an impressive ability to steal defeat from the jaws of victory in the last two games.

For the second time in a week they have lost despite having a twenty plus points lead in the last quarter. Last week it was against a good side, Sunday it was against the bottom side. Did they learn nothing last week?

BUGG DESERVES A LONG HOLIDAY

Tomas Bugg will almost certainly go to the tribunal for knocking out Callum Mills. Photo: AAP Images

​Tomas Bugg, like Bachar Houli, will be sent straight to the tribunal. Bugg, unlike Houli will meet a chastened tribunal unlikely to be persuaded by a sympathetic plea.

The charge is simple: intentional strike, high contact and high impact.

The appeals process of last week has established several things. The first is that the starting point for anyone guilty of an offence of this nature is four weeks.

The second thing is that the tribunal still has discretion, but that is the discretion to deliver a suspension in excess of four weeks, but not less than four weeks.

The third thing is that not even getting the Dalai Lama to plead Bugg’s case would mitigate his sentence.

Bugg’s incident was plainly worse than Houli’s. The Richmond defender, despite being found guilty of intentional conduct, had a reasonable argument to claim carelessness not intent.

Bugg has no such mitigation – his strike was the worst of what the AFL has to deal with – a punch in the head off the ball.

In the Houli case it was established that the intent to strike is all that is necessary to be proven, and not intent to strike in the head. Houli, thus, was found to have intended to strike and got Jed Lamb in the head.

The rules should better reflect the fact that in cases such as Bugg’s, the aggravating circumstance is that Bugg intended to strike and intended to strike to the head.

Bugg should expect to miss at least six matches, and more would not surprise. The penalty should reflect the fact it was worse than the Houli hit. How much worse will be the question.

IN THE DOG HOUSE

Jake Stringer and the Bulldogs continued to struggle for form against West Coast at Etihad Stadium. Photo: AAP

Something is rotten in the state of Western Bulldogs football.

The question is no longer whether the Bulldogs can recover form to contend for the flag it is whether they can recover form to contend for the eight.

On current form, the answer is no. The Bulldogs were poor. Again. They were at home against a side that has been unable to win in Melbourne playing without Josh Kennedy, Marc Le Cras, Matt Priddis and their first two rucks. And who lost two players in the third quarter.

The fact they could not win this game explains everything of where they are at. A good Bulldogs side – last year’s Bulldogs side – wins this game easily. This was not that Bulldogs side, This is no longer that Bulldogs side.

Interestingly the language shifted after the match from the tetchy Luke Beveridge.

He spoke of the club needing to take “a step backwards to go forwards”. It was an unusual comment for the reigning premier to consider needing to step backwards.

Again Jason Johannisen was shut down. Hutchings did it this week but all the Eagles joined in and took a turn to knock him around. Its al a bit schoolyard, and the Dogs tried to help out their mate, but the impact on Johannisen in the last month of the tagging attention is undeniable. He spends more time being annoyed than being able to be annoying. Beveridge shifted him up the ground but he still could not find his game.

Again Jake Stringer was quiet, at least until the game became interesting in the last quarter (he had three disposals for three quarters then double that in the last).

Easton Wood had eight marks but has not been as damaging in his set up behind the ball because he doesn’t have run from Johannisen, Matt Suckling did nothing and of course Matthew Boyd is also out. Tom Boyd and Tom Liberatore’s years are a mystery.

Even that pesky free kick count that has been falling in the Dogs favour – to the upset of other teams – fell against them on Saturday.

TIGER TIME

Tails up: Tigers leapt into the top four with an impressive win over Port. Photo: Daniel Kalisz

It’s time we talked about Richmond. It’s time we talked Tigers and finals. I know, I know, this has been taboo since that run of four losses burst the bubble of the first five wins but the Tigers, well they’re different now. Seriously they are.

The win in Adelaide on Saturday night was different. It was plainly their best win of the season, put them in the top four and more than that it was done playing a brand of football that was identifiable and seemingly sustainable. 

Alex Rance was tagged by Jackson Trengove for a half this worked impressively. Rance had tried to get himself to Charlie Dixon and play the game on his terms but Trengove would not allow him. The normally creative defender was flummoxed and frustrated.

This appeared to be the new chapter in the opposition Rory Sloane, Jason Johannisen play book: stop one, and you stop them all. Rance was stopped and so too were Richmond. Against Rance it lasted a half. He was better in the second half. 

Richmond plays a pressure game yet interestingly against the Power they still lost contested possessions and clearances.

Their pressure works because they have a good balance in thier team. Their small forwards defend as well as anyone in the team.

The Tigers attract attention for their star power – Dustin Martin should get another three Brownlow votes – but look at the pedigree of some of these other players. They are brumbies playing like thoroughbreds. 

Kane Lambert (second most touches for tigers) rookie list. Toby Nankervis good all year but shaded on Saturday, recycled from Swans. Caddy, at his third club. Jayden Short rookie. Dan Butler fourth round pick. Castagna rookie. Sam Lloyd late pick and now Tyson Stengle of the rookie list boots two in the best win of the year.   

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