#Jody would totally just show someone a frog for no reason

[jazzy-art-time]

An ASMR Story where Jody takes you outside into the darkness, she drags you deep into the woods.

There are creatures scuttling in the darkness, some vague shadowy shapes stare at you with one too many eyes.

The moon is full but the light barely seeps through the thick forest pine trees. A shiver goes up your spine as she suddenly brings you into a clearing, the moon shining down at full brightness, illuminating the area with a eerie glow

She lets go of your hand, you stare terrified as she leans down and picks something up. Your sweat feels like ice dripping down your face as you attempt to hold back your trembling of the unknown as she holds up her cupped hands to you

She stares at you, unblinking, her stare piercing into yours as she slowly uncups her hands

“Look.....” her hushed voice filling the silent clearing and your eyes slowly gaze down at what she is holding...

....

...

It’s a frog.

[chipthekeeper]

chip grades the star wars

by representation of women

Time for more unasked for and only mildly thought through opinions by me. Usually I rate with numbers but for whatever reason this one was easier to do by letter grades (American-style, sorry). I’ve been known to forget important shit so I reserve the right to totally change my mind once I remember or am reminded. Okay, worst to best with the women I can name/remember and not-so-brief explanations:

Resistance:  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I wish I’d kept watching this both times I’ve started. Seems like there’s some good women in it. But unfortunately still a male lead. Bleh.

Revenge of the Sith: D-

Crying Padme…………….Beru cameo….dead Jedi… -- This one is ROUGH. If I didn’t love the movie it would be an F. There’s literally one woman who appears for more than like 10 seconds and she gets murdered by her husband. Not a great look.

Attack of the Clones: D

Padme, dying Shmi, uhhh...Jocosta Nu…? -- Maybe could have been C level if they hadn’t made poor Padme look so insane in falling for Anakin AFTER he rants about slaughtering a bunch of innocent people for no reason.

Empire Strikes Back: C-

Leia…..randos in background -- If it was made today, Lando’d be a chick. Lando’d be Sana Starros. I wanna see that movie. Holy shit I wanna see that movie.

The Phantom Menace: C

Shmi, Padme, not-Padme, Yaddle? -- Really running the gamut in this one. We’ve got “everything” from Slave Virgin Mary to badass queen but also is-that-even-the-queen-or-is-it-just-her-decoy. If it was made today there’d be at least 2 lady pod racers so ahem, Lucasfilm get on it.

A New Hope: C

Leia, Aunt Beru -- I was very tempted to rate all the OT ones higher just because of how fucking wonderful Leia is and to be fair she is of course the best female character of the time in this type of movie. But…..come the fuck on. TWO women in a whole movie and one of them wasn’t allowed to wear underwear and the other gets literally roasted to a crisp??? Do better, George.

Return of the Jedi: C

Leia, Mon Mothma…..Jabba’s dancing girls? -- Same shit, different flick.

The Rise of Skywalker: B-

Rey, Leia, Jannah, Maz a little, Rose I guess, Jodie Comer, etc. -- Kinda don’t know what to say about all this. I had B+ at first but I feel like there was a lot of wasted potential. Outside of Rey (and Leia stuff I can’t talk about without losing it) there’s not much to look at here.

Rogue One: B-

Jyn, Lyra, Mon Mothma, Leia cameo, lady pilots!! -- Gonna get up on my soapbox and say that Mon Mothma is one of the most underrated Star Wars characters. I’d talk about Jyn and Lyra but then I might start cr--nope, I’m already crying.

Solo: B

Qi’ra, Val, L3-37 (absolutely counts), Enfys -- I absolutely LOVE every woman in this movie. Would be an A if half the big ones didn’t die :/

The Clone Wars: B

Ahsoka, Padme, Satine, Bo-Katan, various Jedi -- Had this at a C+ before I remembered there were more centrally recurring people than Ahsoka and Padme, BUT. One dies, one’s a part-time terrorist, and the others are just plug and play. Kinda still want to go B- but Ahsoka’s really carrying this shit across the finish line.

Rebels: B+

Hera, Sabine, Governor Pryce, Ketsu, Leia cameo -- I would die and kill for both Hera and Sabine. If and when they come to live action I will cease to exist.

The Force Awakens: A-

Rey, Leia, Maz, Phasma, various rebels -- It’s never not going to give me a chill to watch Rey pilot the Falcon or call the lightsaber to her past [redacted]. Never. I feel bad for every fanboy who hated it. They’re really missing out.

The Last Jedi: A

Rey, Leia, Maz, Phasma, Rose, Holdo, various rebels -- Physically pains me to give this such a strong grade when one of the things I loathe about this movie is the Rey + [redacted] stuff but I’m big enough to say it does a great job with basically everyone else. Except Phasma. Fuck you for that one, Rian. (also someone ask me about Holdo, I need to talk about her more than this)

The Mandalorian: A

Cara, Omera, Pelli, Fennec, Xi’an, Frog Lady, Bo-Katan, Koska, Ahsoka -- I mean holy shit. So many (hot) women. So many different kinds of women! This is the bar. Oh, if only one of them could be a real full-time character and not written off the show because she’s played by a trash person :((((((  (also, like,,,fucking name Frog Lady pls. Misty Rosas deserves that)

Bonus grade for canon SW books/comics: A+ --  Doctor Aphra, Sana Starros, Rae Sloane, Norra Wexley, Alphabet Squadron gals, Avar Kriss & other High Republic ladies, so many more -- On the whole, this is actually the standard. So many of these things have female leads and there’s absolutely no reason not to do that more on the big screen. I have no idea what some of my favorite Star Wars women are supposed to look like because they’re just stuck in books. Which is a great medium, don’t get me wrong. But they deserve more!!

[grapsandclaps]

PCW SIXTH ANNIVERSARY PART 2

Food done at Yates's it waa time to take in a couple of the usual haunts in Preston, first of all - The Guild Ale House which is a real ale haven for the hardened craft ale drinker, generally every drink is under £3.50 and of the highest quality. I would liken this pub as well to someones fromt living room with the white carpet which i am surprised no one has ruined yet spilling their stout, we decamped to the small yard area to think up of niche songs for one of the night's combatants - Su Yung. A mixture of stuff from The Beatles, Genesis and The Corrs were batted about but as we would find out later would go down as well as a wet fart in Church. The drink i had in here was 2/3rds of a Saison like drink "Never Known Fog Like It" for £3.50 and it was a nice drink that i would try a second helping of if i saw it again. Next stop was Hogarths to see the latter end of our football coupons going down and also a lovely pint of £2.05 Hogarths own ale. This pub looks like it has been a success since it has opened rivalling Wetherspoons on price and it also caters for people who like their sport with Racing UK and Sky Sports being prominent on all screens. Drinks done it was time to get into Evoque for the show, thankfully this time their was a high stool in my usual spot so i took advantage to rest my feet and sit in my perch to watch the graps. A bigger crowd than expected crowd was in attendance and it was nice to see people give PCW another try having probably being put off by the below par shows that were provided in 2016, but in fairness since the change in booker this year to Greg Lambert holding the pencil shows have improved by far so the ball was in PCWs court to make it worth it - lets see if they pulled it off. First off was a 3 way match to be no.1 contender for the Cruiserweight Title with Ricky Knight Jr vs Chris Ridgeway vs Chris Brookes - the latter making his return to PCW after just 1 solitary appearance in one of the Who Dares Wins rumbles a few years ago. Brookes received a great reception once his banger of a tune hit (Human Fly by The Cramps), Brookes has become a darling of the scene in the last year or so and could be on the cusp of joining his Midlands cohorts in the States sometime. This was a great opener to set the tone for the evening with all 3 guys working well together, Ricky Knight Jr impressed and didnt look out of place with his more experienced adversaries. Ridgeway eventually got the win in around 12 minutes catching Knight Jr with a choke in midair causing RKJ to tap immediately. Next up was Sheikh and Shake and Dave Birch vs 3 Mates Pissing About (Kirby/Hope/Joey Hayes). Seymour Gains gave an opening spiel trying to get over his S.H.I.T.S Protein Shake to a chorus of boos with his mate Sheikh El-Sham eyeing me up again - naturally i booed him again. These two have become a good team in their short time together getting the right reaction from the audience - good work lads. This was a really fun match as you can expect with the 3 mates who are fantastic at these comedy matches and are filling the void left by Dave Rayne and Mad Man Manson. The 3 mates got the win with the Shield Powerbomb to Seymour for the 1-2-3 and to rub it in Seymours face even more they poured his S.H.I.T.S Protein Shakes all over him. Soner Durson vs CJ Banks Part 3 was next with it being 1-1 in the series from their 2 good scraps in Tidal and PCW. Even though it took time for the crowd to warm to the match, they eventually got the crowd onside and provided a good match with Soner looking impressive again but sadly coming up short trying to hit the frog splash but CJ caught him with a pair of knees and Cheeky Rolled him up for the win. Good Stuff!! Half Time Main Event was Aussie Open challenging the PCW Tag Champions The UK Hooligans. As expected this was a really good match but it was more suited to The Hooligans style of working fighting around the ringside area smacking especially Fletcher with suicide dives and school chair shots to the head. The Aussies did eventually get some offence in, using their raised cutter for a close 2 count but after 15 minutes they fell to The Hooligans but they shouldnt be too disheartened and i for ine would like to see them in PCW again. But if you do see Kyle Fletcher and Mark Davis elsewhere in the country I urge you to see them. After the match the UK Hooligans found out that they would be facing The NAK (Chris Renfrew and BT Gunn) in September, should be a good scrap. My mate Ben made quite the hot take after the match saying even though he likes The Hooligans, he is a bit fed up with their style of match and would like to see something different from them, but did point to the fact only Team Single went toe to toe with them all the way through their matches and wouldnt lie down and take a pasting. 1st half done and a mark photo with British Wrong Style accosting Aussie Open for a picture near the bar, decent enough gentleman to meet. Now the 2nd half and what do we start off with - Lionheart vs Philip Michael. The opening of this contest started off with a 3 minute singing of Philip Michaels name the like we havent seen since the days of Noam Dar, Philip was over like rover. Good action here for around 7 minutes with Phil matching Lionheart hold for hold and looking his equal but a spot where Lionheart pulled Phil off the ropes causing Phil to land awkwardly caused a long stoppage to the match and bringing a number of the roster to ringside to check on Phils wellbeing. Now with what happened to Lionheart previously when he broke his neck at PCW which left the audience in stunned silence and tears that night, visions of seeing a serious injury is still fresh in peoples minds but as ever with wrestling companies nowadays - many a fake injury angle happens and you dont know when to know if its real or not. In this case Lionheart picked up Phil to applause but then proceeded to use a Uranage Slam to drop Phil to a chorus of boos and a 1-2-3. Personal opinion i think Fake Injury Angles are shit and the dog worst thing to get a baddie over in this sense. They could have easily had Philip Michael catch a win from nowhere on Lionheart and then have Lionheart give him a beating after the match - it still has the same effect. This left a bad taste in a few peoples mouths and I for one was one of them. Su Yung vs Lauren (replacement for an injured Saraya) was next in a short match with Su Yung dominating early and looking good in the process. But despite all the songs in the world to rally Su she fell to a roll up from Lauren for the shock victory. I do think Lauren will probably end up winning the PCW Womens title in 2 weeks in the tourney but i cant say i am totally sold on her as a champion but just my opinion. Dean Allmark took on Jody Fleisch next for the Cruiserweight title in a fantastic match as you would expect from these 2 wrestlers. Jody hasnt missed a beat since the early 2000s and looks better bodywise since then, Deano has been a constant highlight in the past year with the rest of the cruisers pulling some of the shows over the line with some top matches. Jody hit the 720 DDT but only got a 2 for a near fall, Deano hit Jody with the Smiles Clash before finishing a valiant Jody off with the top rope Spanish Fly. Great stuff and a great pick me up after what was on previously to it. The Big Grudge Match with Tel Banham vs BIG T was next but sadly after much talking from Banham and tomfoolery from his cronies, it never got started with BIG T booting referee Des and joining up with Banham to be his bodyguard muscle i guess to the Chicken Shit Heel Banham. In one way a poor payoff to an angle that has been going for 3 months but in one sense Banham can use BIG T to fight his battles. Live i think the angle didnt go down well in the end and left a flat feeling due to people wanting Banham to get his comeuppance. Main Event time with the 3 way being turned into a 4 way with Champion Iestyn Rees vs T-Bone vs Bubblegum vs Ashton Smith. This went around 20 minutes with plenty of action and nearfalls happening, Iestyn did a majestic dive over the ropes which for a big fella is impressive. With the clock ticking to me getting the train, i took a position at the back of the room to see just in time Iestyn Rees using the Cheeky Roll Up to beat a defiant Bubblegum and continuing his near year long reign as champion. This made the show finish on a flat note, with the crowd wanting to see Bubblegum pick up the win and finally get a small run with the PCW Title. I found out when i left that Bubblegum is putting his PCW Career on the line at the next show vs T-Bone in a street fight which i guess there is a reason behind but i didnt see much skullduggery costing Bubblegum from a T-Bone prespective but hey ho - Wrestling!! Iestyns next opponent i am not too sure where they are going next, maybe Ashton gets another chance but for me that was 3 contenders finished off in one night. So i guess we get Iestyn being the not so brilliant paper champion again for another 6 months 😕. Overall a great first half followed up by an indifferent second half with as i have explained - the result of the main and the injury angle being topics of complaint from myself. But still this is worth a watch when it comes on demand. Delayed train to Manchester meant getting back at around half midnight into Rochdale, as ever Geoff was doing his best sleeping pose for #grapsandnaps - Standard part of a trip to the wrestling. Evoque beer prices - £4.50 for Tyskie (500ml) they ran out of these bottles halfway through. £7 for 2 bottles of either Samuel Adams, Brewdog Punk IPA or Brooklyn Lager. So in effect it was £7 for a pint and a smidgen if you look at it that way. Next time in #grapsandclaps will be my first trip to Attack Wrestling in Cardiff which by going off what people are going and the general fun of that promotion - could be a fantastic which i am looking forward to.