#Julian Brandt fanfiction

[footballffbarbiex]

player: Julian Brandt words: 507 request: Julian Brandt - you / your - 250 - 500 - he comes back from training and finds you asleep on the sofa watching christmas films, you then wake up to him making a fancy dinner for the two of you

Julian had text you when leaving training but hadn’t heard anything back. He’d tried again when he reached the grocery store and sent another text following an ignored call. When the text too went unanswered, he took it upon himself to get things that he knew you’d like. He could of course, come home with only things to make for dinner, but he’d had a good session today and he wanted to come home with a little treat or two to make the evening a good one. 

Entering the house, Julian can hear the TV playing which means that you’re definitely home. Rather than calling out, Julian quietly removes his outer clothes and makes his way through as quietly as he can. A glance in the living room confirms his suspicions when he spots you buried beneath the blankets, your phone placed on your hip and fast asleep. 

He resists the urge to go over and brush hair from your face and instead, moves on past the room and into the kitchen where he lays everything out and begins to wonder where to start first. 

-

You awake to the sound of a different movie playing to the one you last remember watching. Outside is dark already and though you can’t remember turning on the lamps in the living room, they’re creating a warm glow. Checking your phone shows missed calls from Julian and text messages from over two hours ago. 

Crap, you think as you pull yourself up into a sitting position and squint around the room. Only now do you realise that you can smell something cooking, and that certainly wasn’t prepared, let alone started cooking, before you’d settled down to watch a movie. Tapping the phone screen, you notice what time it is, having not really looked at it when you checked your phone last time. If it wasn’t Julian, someone has broken into the house to cook a dinner for the inhabitants. 

The smell of it brings you to your feet and the closer you get to the kitchen, the more your stomach rumbles. Julian has changed clothes and his back is to you as you enter, he’s playing music quietly and you can hear him humming along with it. 

“Jule, this smells incredible,” you say, your voice making him jump. He spins, stirring spoon dripping with sauce splattering as he turns to face you. Relief falls over his face as quickly as yours had when you realised who was in the house. “Sorry,” a chuckle escapes before you can stop it and you step towards him, swiping a sheet of kitchen roll in the process to wipe up the spillage. “But it does smell beautiful.” You smile at him as you straighten back up and he greets you up close with a kiss. 

“I did also pick up some snacks for later.” He gestures to a bag that he’s left on the table and your curiosity gets the better of you. 

“If there’s room for something sweet.”

“There’s always room for something sweet.”

[iwriteficsandtragedies]

Petty Theft

My submission to Amy’s winter writing challenge!

Player: Julian Brandt

Warnings: none

______________________________________________________

Julian digs through the dirty laundry on the off chance the sweatshirt he needs is in there. He knows it’s not. If anything, it’s in her dirty laundry all the way across town.

Her phone goes straight to voicemail, but she calls him right back.

“Do you have my black and yellow striped hoodie?” He gets right to the point.

“…probably.”

“Babe!” The word is full of exasperation. “I have to have it this afternoon, can you bring it to me?”

It’s not a far drive, but it takes her long enough that he finishes his shower and has had enough time to stew even more by the time she arrives. He doesn’t care that she steals his hoodies. He cares that she always manages to steal the one he’s supposed to wear to training, or for travel, or to a photoshoot.

“You’ve got to stop taking my stuff,” he snaps, taking the sweatshirt from her. He holds it out from him to give it a once over. “At least it’s clean.” When he emerges from the head hole, she looks timid. Small.

“I’m sorry.”

Her voice is quiet, and in the following silence his frustrations feel too harsh.

“Babe.” He takes her hand, pulls her into him. “I just need my work clothes.” He steps away to open his closet and gestures across the left side, meticulously organized by season and color. “Look, this whole side is yours. Take anything you want.” He sweeps his arm to the right, this side full of black and yellow. “Just not this side, yeah? Fair?”

She smiles, her cheeks still a little red from the cold. “Fair.”

He asks her to stay while he does this photoshoot - he’ll only be a few hours and he’ll take her to dinner to make up for being a grump - and he can see her through the kitchen window as he drives away, making coffee at the fancy machine she bought for him so he could make his own cappuccinos in the morning. There’s a twinge of guilt in his chest. He didn’t need to be so coarse with her.

Photoshoots generally are long, boring, and uncomfortable, but it’s not so bad when he’s got some teammates to goof off with. Mats even recommends a nice place for “Sorry I Was An Asshole” dinners, something Julian is pretty certain his captain has experience with.

When it’s over, and he texts her that he’s on the way home, she replies with a picture.

It’s her, in his favorite white oversized hoodie, kneeling on the floor in front of his closet. The way she has the fabric bunched in her hand means he can see her bare butt peeking from under the hem. “Hurry home.”

He might just let her have the black and yellow.

[mashafootball]

You win - Julian Brandt Imagine

A (kinda very short) Julian Brandt imagine. I wrote this last night (my first imagine after a long time). I hope you like it. FYI: English is not my first language.

Early mornings – you loved them, no you adored them. While most people you knew rather spend their weekends in bed until lunchtime, your inner clock just couldn’t stop. 7 A.M is your time – always has been and probably always will be.

Your boyfriend is quite the opposite, spending every single minute he can in bed – which also makes him late most of the time (and very lazy).

This morning was no different. You woke up, rolled out of bed, tiptoed your way to your big bedroom windows and opened your curtains a little bit. Just so you had enough light to roam around the room without tripping over something. As you took a look at your blonde boyfriend, who was still fast asleep, you felt your heart beating against your ribcage. Four years and counting and that idiot still made butterflies appear inside of you – even while being asleep. So, instead of going downstairs (like you normally do right after you wake up) you got back into bed, snuggling against Julian’s naked warm torso. You were well aware of the fact that it would probably take some more hours until he woke up – it was Sunday after all and he had a tough game the night prior – but you decided that work (and coffee) could wait for a little longer.

After caressing his biceps for some time, he began to stir in his sleep, his nose crunching up softly. “Are you watching me?”, he mumbled, voice thick from sleep. “No.”, you answered quietly, letting your hand run through his messy hair. “I know you are.” “You haven’t even opened your eyes yet, why should you know?” “You just exposed yourself.”, Julian said, a lopsided grin gracing his tired face. “Shush”, you muttered turning around, but his arms quickly sneaked around your body, holding you tightly against his front.

“Are we ready to leave the bed?”, you asked him after a while of cuddling. “It’s not even nine yet and I’m not even fully awake yet, so no.”, Julian said, his thumb brushing over your hand. “I’m not even tired anymore.”, you sighed, “You never are.”, he exclaimed and even if you couldn’t see his face right now you just knew he was a) rolling his eyes and b) grinning like an idiot.

As you turned around, Julian wasted no time to press a soft kiss onto your cheek, his hand finding the back of your neck. “Hi.”, you giggled, pressing your face against his chest, inhaling his scent. “Hi.”, he mimicked, his fingers brushing through your tangled hair. “Are you awake now?”, you asked, but the only answer you received was a grimace. “I’m going to keep you in this bed the whole day.”, Julian announced, pulling you a little closer once again. “Thanks for asking me for my opinion.”, you huffed. “Come on, Y/N. It’s Sunday.”, he tried to argue, but you still weren’t that convinced, yet. “Come on.”

“I have things to do.”, you told him, but now Julian seemed like the one who wasn’t convinced. “Come on.”, he repeated, his voice already muffled as his lips began brushing against your neck. “I know what you are doing.”, you laughed, pulling his face from your body. “Oh yeah?”, he asked confused, his lips quickly attaching to your neck again. “Come on.”, now his lips began brushing over your jaw, leaving little kisses along the way. “I know you want it Y/N.”

“Maybe I do.”, you whispered.

[footballerindreams]

When Accidents Happen, They Happen - Chapter 8

This is a long one guys!

Cc: @quack-and-yellow

Julian’s POV

“You’re fucked up, Jule. You’re so fucked up.” Jannis said holding his head on his hands supported by the table.

We sat by the one-stop coffee shop by the gasoline station after Jannis found the ultrasound photo. I have no choice but to tell him the truth and I told him the story.

“I’m going to tell mom and dad.” Jannis said, standing up in his seat and I widened my eyes and followed standing too.

“Jannis! No! Please! Please! Don’t. I don’t want to create a riot.” I plead at him holding his hand with a strong grip.

“You just got someone pregnant Jule! And it’s not someone. It’s your friend, your teammate’s girlfriend, and you knocked her up by accident!”

“I know. And it’s my problem to carry. Not yours. Promise me you will keep your mouth shut and never tell dad and mom anything. And I mean, ANYTHING.” Holding him in the shoulders and shake him firmly with intent.

Jannis looked at me with intent. In his eyes looked fear and concern and in the end he conceded. “Okay. I will not. But when the situation gets dire, I will tell them everything that I know.”

I was not in favor of what he said but his stare tells me just to let him. Jannis might be my younger brother and when you look at him it seems that he is so fragile and so innocent. But truth is that he is more matured than me in dealing things in life. He knows what he stands for and is firm with it.

He sat down again on his seat and I followed, calming down. He took a sip on his coffee and then asked, “When the baby is born, what do you plan to do?”

“I talked to Mia beforehand and I told her I will be there to support my child no matter what but he does not have to know that I am his father. He will grow up knowing his dad is Niklas.” I said taking a bite of my cookie.

“Are you not even hurt by what you are saying? That you will hear your own son calling another man his father rather than you?”

“Jannis…”

“You will not be hurt seeing your own son hugging Niklas, showing him the things he did, and possibly dedicate his first game of football to Niklas?”

“Of course I am hurt! I am hurt that I would not be able to carry my son in the middle of the night when he is crying and feeling alone and afraid in his room! That Niklas will be his everything and I am just his father’s friend.” I snapped at my own brother and he was surprised.

We stayed silent for a moment then I apologized.

“I’m sorry Jannis. It’s just that…it’s the only way for me to save everything I have between Mia, Niklas, and everyone who are dear to us.” I sighed, lowering my head.

“If I were you I will fight for my right as the baby’s father but you on the other hand, are willing to let go everything so that no one will get hurt, especially Mia. You really like her.” Jannis concluded.

“Trying to fix my mistake is not liking someone. Mia is my friend, nothing more and I promised her that I will be there always for her and the baby.”

“You just don’t realize it for now Jule. You’re just denying yourself.” Jannis said back taking a sip in his coffee.

---

Mia’s POV

I woke up in the morning to prepare breakfast. I rose up and watch to my side, Niklas still sleeping. I nudged him to wake up since he will also have his training.

“Nik, wake up. You have training.”

“Hmmm. Five minutes.” And I rolled my eyes. He is always, always like this.

I rose up on bed and softly talked to him that I will prepare our breakfast. It was a bit tricky to move with a pregnant belly. Looking for my slippers is a hard task to do since you cannot even see your legs and feet. And when I finally found them, I tried to stand up and it’s a bit hard already because of the weight but I still managed to…and I felt something different. My back hurts a bit but I really didn’t mind and went downstairs to the kitchen.

I was in the middle of preparing when I felt pain in my stomach. I put down the knife I was holding on the counter and held my belly while supporting myself with my other hand on the counter. I whimpered on the pain until I my eyes widened and felt something burst below my body and felt water trickling in my legs.

“N-Ni-Nik-Niiiiiiik!” I screamed and I heard footsteps rush on the stairs.

Nik came in to my view still wet from the bathroom with only his lycra underpants on getting ready for the day and saw me crying in pain, in anxiety and being overwhelmed by it.

“Nik! Help me!” I cried. The pain resulted me to feel my legs weak and I almost fell to the ground. Luckily Nik was reactive enough to catch me and helped me sit down on the chair.

“Just-Just calm down babe. I’ll just get everything that we need.” He said after putting me down and rushed back to our room to get my hospital bag which I prepared a few days ago.

As I wait for my boyfriend I tried to calm myself down. The pain subsides and I count the interval. Niklas came back down already dressed in a plain white shirt and denim shorts and topsider shoes with a big bag on one side of his shoulder and the same time his phone on one side of his ear. He looks so worried and I’ve never seen him cramming like this.

“P-p-please Davie. Just-just the coach. Thank-Thank you.” He said to the phone. In panic he dropped his phone and tried to pick it up only for him to step on it.

“Oh shit.”

“Nik?” I asked him.

“I’m fine. Don’t worry. I’m fine.” He tried to assure me but I can see in his eyes he’s afraid. He picks up his phone successfully and saw that the screen was in pieces and his just groaned almost whimpering and keeps it in his pocket. He rushes outside of the house and then returns back a few minutes later without weight on his shoulders and helps me up the chair. And on time, the pain strikes again and I crumple his shoulder and he winces because if it. I cried and felt tears dripping from my eyes.

“Niiii~~~k. It hurts.”

Then Niklas carried my in his arms and walks swiftly towards the door and to the car where he laid me down on the passenger seat. He made sure that the house is locked before he goes to the driver seat of his car.

---

Niklas POV

We arrive at the hospital in just half an hour. Usually, it would take me more than an hour to go from the house to the hospital during check major check ups but since this is an emergency, I drove as fast as I can. Not minding the rules of traffic at some point. How could I not? You hear the whimpering of your girlfriend almost at the edge of giving birth at your side and everytime the pain strikes I also put a full force of pedal into the metal.

The contractions, a what the nurses say the pain is, hits Mia again by the time she was now on the stretcher going to the labor room. The nurses themselves called Mia’s doctor so I was thankful enough for them to do such. My phone was broken and I can’t even form a sentence to say to the doctor if I myself will call even using Mia’s.

We’ve reached the labor room door and when I was about to enter, the staff stopped me.

“I’m sorry sir but this is considered a sterile area. We cannot let folks enter the premises. Only the patient and staff are allowed to come in.”

“But my girlfriend.” I was worried.

“It’s gonna be okay sir. We will take care of her well inside.” The staff said and she also assured Mia.

The door was about to close when Mia tried to yell something to me along her whimpers.

“Nik, please call Julian.”

---

Julian’s POV

We were in water break and I had a chance to check my phone. I looked at it and saw that I have missed a call from Mia and a voicemail from her. I tapped my phone to hear it.

“Hey Jule. It’s Nik. Uhm---uhm---I just want to tell you that we are in the hospital. They just wheeled her in the labor room. She’s about to give birth.”

I rushed to get my things from the locker room and said to my coach I have to go home for an emergency and called Jannis to accompany me.

---

Niklas POV

I waited outside the delivery room complex for anything to happen. It’s been hours and I can almost feel myself shatter. Everytime the door opens I felt a moment of relief only to see a doctor coming out, or a mother and her baby. Few hours later Davie and Mitchell arrived in the hospital and with me, they also waited. At one point a doctor came out and talk to a man, he looks as if he was the same age as me and worried as well but when I heard the doctor said that his baby is a still born and gone, he broke down and cried on the floor. Seeing it in front of me made me shatter in tears. Afraid since my girlfriend and child is not yet around something might’ve happen.

Davie comforted me wrapping his arms on my shoulder and hugged me closer and rubs my back.

“Hey. Hey. Don’t-don’t think about anything yet. Your baby is fine. Mia is fine. They’ll both be. The checkups were normal right?”

“What if---“ I tried to speak in my anxiety, “What if I lose one of them, or both of them?”

“Don’t say that! Be positive!” Davie assured me.

“They’ll both be fine Nik.” Mitchell added.

Then we heard running footsteps and saw Julian and Jannis coming at us. Catching their breath, Julian asked.

“We came as soon as I heard your voicemail. How is she?”

“She’s still inside. No news yet.” Davie said in my behalf.

Not a moment later Mia’s doctor came out.

“Mr. Stark?” She called and we all stood up from the bench.

“Doctor. How is she? How’s my girlfriend and my baby?”

The doctor smiled at me, “everything is okay and successful Mr. Stark. It took too long since it is Mia’s first labor but congratulations for a healthy baby boy.” Then the nurse came out with a blue bundle in her hands and gave it to me. Me and the lads looked at my son. My eyes well again at the sight. He has a pale complexion with puffy cheeks, which is a bit red. His head was covered but a bit of his hair is out and it is a lighter shade of blond than mine.

“Hello my little boy. I’m your dad.” I said.

Then the doctor announced again, “We will take your son to the nursery for a few hours for monitoring and if everything is okay, we could wheel him into Mia’s room where he could stay.” I nodded and the nurse took my son with her to the nursery and that’s when another nurse is wheeling out Mia on a stretcher. She looked at me with tired eyes.

“Nik.”

I smiled at her and kissed her forehead. “You did great babe. I love you.”

She then looked at Julian, “You’re here.” And my teammate smiled at her.

---

Julian’s POV

“You’re here.” She said and I smiled at her.

“I promised you I will be there if you ever need me.” I replied and she tried to close her eyes to rest while being wheeled to her room.

Niklas, Davie and Mitchell followed and I stood there still a bit dumbfounded of the happenings. I was trying to absorb everything. I was happy to see the baby but I cannot express it well. Then the nurse gave her to Niklas, and I felt a pang of jealousy. And then I saw Mia all worn out, but looking more beautiful with that mysterious glow in her and it’s as if my felt my heart beat on a different rhythm. I was snapped out of my thoughts when Jannis puts a hand on my shoulder.

“Come on. Let’s go.” He said.

“Can we---can we pass by the nursery?” I asked him and he nodded.

We stopped by the nursery and peeked at its glass window looking for the baby.

“Here he is.” Jannis said.

He was on a bassinette being warmed by the light, his eyes were open and their color is like Mia’s brownish ones. He was pale and has puffy cheeks, he moved a bit and the hoodie on his head was off revealing his golden blonde hair.

“He looks like you.” Jannis said looking at the baby with a smile.

I looked back and my eyes well. I put my hands on the glass and sobbed.

“Hey son…I’m your dad.”

[allthemenofmydreams]

Reading Fanfics About You

“Babe, what are you doing?”

“Nothing, just reading fanfiction about you”

“Abou who?” he asked while sitting next to me.

“About you,” I said, lifting my eyes from my phone and looking at him.

“Oh, really? People write about me?” he was confused.

“Yeah, there are some good ones”

“And what are these about?” he said, laying his head on my legs.

“Oh! You don’t want to know”

“Please, tell me. I’m curious” He sat up to get a better look at me.

“Well… the one that I was reading... was a smut one” I blushed. We’ve talked about many things, we don’t hide anything and don’t feel ashamed, but this time I felt embarrassed.

“Why are you reading it? When you can have it, I mean like actually have me… in real life” he raised his eyebrow and gave me the look that we both know pretty well.

“‘Cause you're not always here, so I have to distract myself when you’re not around,” I sat on his lap and put my arms around his neck.

“Well… I’m here… what about making your fanfic reality?” He looked at me and then kissed my lips.

[varanest]

one thing i’ve left to do, discover me, discovering you

a/n: this is a ‘whoever you want to read it with’ piece i have posted and deleted twice but i decided i will post everything that’s on my drafts so - any feedback is appreciated. 

As soon as they were in their Uber, he was all over her. His hand slipped between her thighs, slowly working his way up. His face was buried in her neck, his tongue and teeth mapping out the column of her throat. She fisted his hair as he assaulted her neck, keeping her lips firmly together so that her moans didn’t reach the ears of their driver while she dragged his hand up to her cunt.

“Impatient little thing… can’t even wait ‘til we’re home to have my hands on that pretty cunt,” he growled into her skin as his fingers traced the damp circle soaking through her panties. The heat rose to her cheeks, though she wasn’t sure if it was from the filthy words dripping off his lips or from the way their driver’s jaw clenched in annoyance. Didn’t really matter which, though. Maia still grinded against his hand while he murmured cheesy praises into her neck.

Once inside his building, Maia barely got a chance to catch her breath. He had her caged between him and the wall during the elevator ride, letting his hands trail over her sides as he pressed his full weight into her. His thumbs reached just below the underwire of her bra when the elevator doors slid open.

She whined quietly as he pulled off her, already missing the feeling of him practically engulfing her. He was taller than her, maybe six feet tall if she were to guess. When she was pressed up against him, she almost felt small. Little. Like a fragile thing surrounded by him.

It was a foreign feeling. She had never really felt small.

And as his large hand engulfed hers as he pulled her toward his apartment, this giddy, warm feeling pooled in her stomach. Just his hand covering hers made her feel little. That feeling only grew as he tugged her into his apartment before pushing her up against his door. “Fucking finally,” he grumbled before his mouth took hers.

As greedy and hard as his lips on her neck had been, his first kiss to her lips was surprisingly gentle. And warm. His entire body was pressed hard against her, squeezing her body tight between him and the door, but his lips remained soft. And the way his tongue dipped into her mouth… she’d call it filthy if it were more urgent, but the slow pace made it feel reverent.

It was so easy to respond to him, to just shut her mind off and only think about reacting to the tongue exploring her mouth and swallowing his quiet grunts. It wasn’t until minutes later when he pulled away and they were both breathless that she realized how urgent it had become. His hand was now fisting her hair, her hands were gripping his collar, and the two of them were gasping for air.

“Bedroom.” She meant for it to come out like a command. After all, Maia was a little bossy in all aspects of her life, but especially when it came to getting laid. But her voice sounded smaller than it usually does, a little breathless and pleading. And it wasn’t without an effect on him, whose lips smirked and eyes darkened as he took a step back. She almost whined at the loss of contact, but he kept both his hands on her as he walked her toward his bedroom.

This time, he had her up a dresser. He flicked the lights on before slamming his lips back onto her neck, this time on the other side… perhaps his way of making sure there was an even distribution of his marks when Maia woke up in the morning.

She tried to get back into it, but she was itching to turn the light back off. Its presence transformed her excitement into fear. Fear of him seeing her naked. Fear that he wouldn’t like what he saw. Fear that every dimple on her thighs and roll on her stomach would repulse him.

Before her thoughts took the dark turn into a full-on body-loathing spiral, she asked, “Could we keep the lights off?”

He blinked several times, his brows furrowed as he processed her question. He was going to ask her why. They always asked why. And then Maia would try to downplay it, but he wouldn’t buy it. And next thing she knows she’s spilling all her body image problems onto a stranger instead of having sex. Fuck, she should have just kept her mouth shut and suffered through having the light on.

After a beat, his face faltered. “Yeah, okay,” he murmured before flicking it back off. Relief should have washed over her once the lights were out. No longer did she have to fear him seeing her naked in a well-lit room. It meant that Maia could fuck him however she wanted without her anxieties about her body ruining it.

But something lurched in her chest at this visible disappointment in his eyes. As he leaned forward to kiss her, she stopped him. “Is that okay?”

“Of course, whatever you want, baby,” he shrugged it off, but Maia stopped him again when he leaned forward. “Okay, I just…”

“You just what?”

“I just wanna see you.” There was no smugness in his voice. No teasing tone that came with all his pick-up lines. No endearment or praise. Just him, with a hint of sadness in his voice, admitting that he wants to see her.

Maia bit down on her lip and stared back at him. The lamppost outside his building illuminated his face in the dark, meaning she could see the sincerity in his eyes.

So, even though her stomach lurched at the thought, she leaned over to flick the light back on, and the change in his demeanor was immediate.

“There you are,” he grinned as he pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. She tilted her head up in time for his lips to glide against hers again, and the contented moan that escaped his throat sent a chill down her body.

He kissed her like he did before, his mouth demanding her full attention. She felt her mind go blank again, only vaguely aware of him tugging off his own jacket. She kicked off her heels next, giggling a bit into his mouth when she realized just how much shorter than him this made her.

She tugged at his shirt next, whining until he helped her get it off. Maia wanted to run her fingers all over the warm, newly exposed skin, but he had other ideas. His fingers worked the zipper of her dress, and Maia felt a familiar panic set in.

Maia tucked her face into his neck, pressing kisses to distract herself from the fact that her dress was about to fall to the ground, exposing every stretch mark to him. “Baby,” he murmured right into her ear. The zipper was completely undone, meaning he was just waiting for Maia to pull her arms out of it and let it fall.

He tilted her chin up with his finger, and Maia locked eyes with him. His were warmer than they had been, not the dark, smug eyes that had watched her for most of the night. She relaxed under his gaze, letting her dress fall to the floor with an easy exhale.

His body snapped back into focus. His hands gripped her waist as he walked her back to his bed. “Fuck, look at you,” he growled right into her ear, his breath hot on her earlobe. “Gorgeous.” She was about to roll her eyes again when the back of her legs hit his mattress. She fell back onto the comforter with a thud. A giggle escaped her lips. There was no way that was hot or graceful.

When she looked up at him, his eyes were raking over her… staring at her uncovered body for the first time. God, she should have kept the lights off. His soft eyes lingered on her chest, which wasn’t surprising. One silver lining for Maia’s weight gain had been the massive breasts that came with it. But when his gaze drifted lower, her arms automatically came up to cover her stomach.

”Maia.” His voice broke on that one syllable. It was low, gravelly, and forlorn. “Will you let me look at you some more?”

She kept her eyes trained on his face as she removed her arms, and there was a small twitch at his lips, curving the corners of his mouth up. His eyes didn’t leave her body as his hands slid up and down her bare thighs. And just when she got her heart rate down again and relaxed into his touch, he whispered one quiet, earnest word that sent a shudder through her entire body.

“Beautiful.”

a/n: who did you picture this with? let me know.

 ✿masterlist.

[arrrseeenalfc]

Can I have an Julia Brandt one? Where he plays the first game with BVB in Signal and scores and you are at the stadium and you are s proud of him and he dedicated the goal to you💛

An old request, if you see this sorry I’m so late but hope you like it x

~

He was so nervous. New club. New stadium. New fans.

He could hear the crowd chanting and the excitement growing.

He was so happy when he signed with the club. A new chapter. A new beginning. But he also knew it meant building up his profile again. He needed to show why he was bought and what he has to offer.

You sat in the stands, watching when he finally made it onto the pitch, his name being announced loudly as you clapped.

You were on the edge of your seat, proudly wearing his name on your back. You mimicked the fans reactions when a pass just didn’t make it or got intercepted.

You rise to your feet as you watch the ball fall onto Julian’s path. He aims for the goal and scores, his arms up in the air as he runs towards the corner flag. His teammates jump on his back and congratulate him on his first goal.

You jump up and cheer for him. The bracelet he got you jiggling from your celebration.

You look up to the big screen and grin. He points to his wrist and kisses it before mouthing your nickname at the camera. You cover you face and smile. Your heart pounds so hard at his gesture that you’re left speechless.

After the match you meet him.

“Well done babe! You played well.” You wrap your arms around him tightly.

“Thank you, beautiful. I hope you know my goal was for you.” He caresses your cheek.

“Thanks for being my support.”

[penguintransporter]

Part II. Read it with whoever you want it to be and I apologise if it’s a bit rushed, I kinda need to edit it, but I am too tired. 

PART I

◾◾◾

As soon as he closes the doors behind the two of you, the music from the inside of the house quiets and with each step that you take it becomes quieter and quieter until it was just a buzz in your ears, fighting against the deafening silence between you and him. 

Yet, as you two walk out on the empty street, you realise how much you miss the times like these. How much you miss the two of you and all those times when you would sneak out, spending your night away chatting about things you found interesting. 

If only you have kept your mouth shut.

He is quiet the entire time, his face expressionless as he sticks his hands back in the pockets of his trousers, looking at his expensive shoes. You mouth is dry, you want to say something, anything, but your mind is blank as you look everywhere but him.

“Your date might wonder where you are,” you mutter quietly – hand reaching out to touch your earring yet again. It was an awful habit, but you couldn’t help yourself.

He gives you a look as he shrugs once, “She’s not my date. Denise works for the club.”

For some reason, you expected his voice to sound defensive and protective, but it is not. Instead, it’s calm and collected.

“That’s not an obstacle for dating someone,” you answer, your eyes looking down at your pointy shoes. “It’s just a little bit of sneaking around and a bit of bureaucracy.”

He never gives you an answer but rather a harsh glance before he runs a hand through his hair.

The silence sets upon two of you again and you hate it. You hate every second of it with every fibre of your body.

You cannot comprehend.

How is it possible for two people who used to be best friends to become strangers? 

To be unable to say something, to hold a conversation?

How is it possible for two people to just stop caring for one another?

But you still care, and that was what is killing you. You still care – more than you should; more than you can handle.

“Look, Y/N,” he starts, turning around to look down at you – his eyes searching  yours and he finds them almost instantly. “What I said inside, I…” he starts – body tensing for a slight of a moment and even if he doesn’t show it, you can feel it. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened that afternoon… about us.”

Your heart flutters for just a second, reaching out for surface, takes a short breath, but then it stops and sinks back. Sudden feeling of weakness overpowers you and you find yourself walking towards the raised foundation of the high railing, sitting down – not caring that you might get your dress dirty.

“There’s no us,” you whisper back, looking away and towards the empty road that stretched in front of you. “You wanted this—”

“—oh no!” he interrupts suddenly and you can hear a trace of bitterness in his voice but it was nothing compared to a bitter taste in your mouth. Still, he makes sure to stay calm even if you know that deep down he is getting furious – that was one of the things he was good at. “Out of all people, you should know that I never hold back when I’m disagreeing with you, Y/N. I’ve did it before and I will do it now.”

“You know what I mean,” you answer, trying to keep your voice steady, but he just shakes his head a little.

“There was always us. A different kind of us, but nevertheless…” he trails off, “so don’t push all the blame on my side of the plate because you know very well that eight months ago I was committed to someone else.” You open your mouth to say something, but he interrupts you by lifting his index finger as he breathes out. “What were you expect me to do? Before that you—I didn’t understand...”

“What?” you urge, looking up at him as he rubs his face once again before leaning against the wall next to you, crossing his legs at his ankles.

“How could you be quiet about it for so long?” he finally answers, and you steady your gaze – eyes moving over his profile as you struggle with the fact that he is so beautiful. “You had the worst possible moment.”

“Would I have mattered if I said something earlier?”

“Maybe...”

“Oh shut up, H/N,” you whine as you get up from where you were sitting. Your shoes are uncomfortable and you can feel the pulse in your toes, but you try to keep it cool as you fold your arms across your chest.

“You don’t believe me?” he asks, surprised by your outburst as you get the sudden urge to laugh out loud.

You shake your head. “How can you expect me to do? Have you ever given me any kind of sign, a lead? How many girls of yours have I met, H/N? All of them, and how many times have I planned out a date for you and bought presents? Many, many of them,” you huff, unable to breathe properly. “For fucks sake,” you start quietly, “you even had sex with that dark-haired girl and then called me to pick you up in the middle of the night when you realised she has a boyfriend. That doesn’t validate your maybe, H/N. Not even a bit.”

“Okay, okay—“, he starts but you shake your head, riled, agitated, annoyed.

Not with him, but with yourself.

For letting you fall so hard that it was impossible to pick yourself up.

“It is not. If there was ever a maybe, you would have acted differently,” you add, your voice reaching the normal octave. “I was tired, H/N. Every person has a limit, and that afternoon I reached mine. I waited, hoped that one day, you might miraculously see,” you laugh at your own misery before continuing, “see me differently for once, but I should have known. Life isn’t…” you sigh, “well it doesn’t matter now. I do regret that I said anything, but I am not regretting what I felt, what I still feel—“

You quickly close your mouth, taking a step back when you realise what you just said.

You said too much.

Idiot.

Stupid.

“Y/N…” he speaks quickly, walking closer to where you stood, trying to keep your balance. “Do you still—You just said,” he reaches out, catching you by surprise and you nod slowly – eyes fixed on where his arm was touching your forearm.

But then you remember how it felt to be left to sit alone in your apartment. How much it hurt when he slammed the doors, deciding to erase himself out of your life as if he was never a part of it. All the suffering, all the tears – desperate drunken calls and texts that have been unanswered; mutual friends taking up his side.

Eight months of wondering.

Eight months of suffering.

“I do,” you voice your thoughts, looking up.

His eyes don’t move – they are still boring into yours and you can see a flash of something run across his face. 

“I want to—,” he starts, swallowing, “Do you think we…”

You shake your head – whatever that was left of your heart shutting off completely. “Please, stop there. Don’t even dare to continue, plea—”

“Y/N…Why are you— “

“It hurts, no?” you quietly ask, watching him – those eyes, the shape of his eyebrows, curve of his lips.

He nods only once, trying to keep his composure but for the first time in the entire evening, you see the glimpse of the person you used to know, and it breaks you because you want nothing more than to kiss him, to leap into his arms, to fill yourself up with unspoken emotions that are floating inside your empty chest.

But you don’t.

And you know, deep down, that you never will.

“Nothing will disturb my heart and spirit; nothing will perturb me giving pain; – He’s who’s been in love will not retrieve it; He who’s burnt will not be lit again. “   – SY

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[danielxricciardo]

Hiii! Can I please ask for 4 from the regular prompt list with Julian Brandt? Maybe something about him being jealous at some of his team mates when y/n is being touchy with them unintentionally (she is just touchy)? Thank you very much <33333

4. “That mouth of yours, does it ever stop making noise”

You were at the boys practice, filming how stupid they were. From time to time Julian would look back to you and send you a kiss.

You were standing on the sidelines next to Edin, the coach. They were preparing for the last match of the season, so there was not a lot of pressure on them and they didn't pay much attention to practice.

After they finished and went to take a shower, a few guys came back to you: Julian, Erling, Gio and Jude. Julian leans over and kisses you.

"Don't tell me you missed me." you say and laugh.

"Oh, yes, I miss you very much. I thought I was dying without you."

Erling comes towards you and ruffles your hair. Since he came to Dortmund you have become best friends and after two years of friendship you have learned something Norwegian so that you can have a conversation with him.

* in Norwegian *

"How bored were you looking at us?" Erling asks and you laugh.

"It wasn't that bad, I filmed you guys being idiots and I really had fun. It's good that the season is over and I won't have to watch you anymore." you say and put your hands on his chest, pushing him lightly.

"I'm not going anywhere next season." he grinned.

Julian coughs next to you and you see how ugly he looks at both of you.

"The boys and I are leaving, we're going to my place for a beer, do you guys want to come?" Erling asks.

"Sure, that sounds..."

"We already have plans, thanks."

Erling nods and leaves with the other boys. You turn to Julian and put your hands on your chest.

"What was that, Julian? We have no plans."

“That mouth of yours, does it ever stop making noise” he says, massaging his temples.

"What does that mean, Julian?"

You look at him intently, studying every expression on his face and then you realize.

"You are jealous!"

"Just shut up, okay? My head hurts. Let's go home."

"You are jealous! On Erling! For what? That I spoke a little Norwegian?"

"That and because you touched him a little bit longer than normal when speaking in your Norwegian."

You laugh and kiss him on the cheek.

"You're so hot when you're jealous..." you say and bite your lip.

"Yeah, no, we're definitely going home, come on, move faster!"

[quack-and-yellow]

First of Many - Julian Brandt

Part 2 of 4 | Chapter list

—

Julian had this thought going on in his head for days: He is in love with his best friend. But it wasn’t always the case. When he first met Laura through a former Wolfsburg teammate, he had always thought she was a stuck up just because she was highly rated in the Regionalliga, the women's third-tier league. She used to joke with the other boys, but with him, she would clam up. She would avoid him whenever possible.

One time, during a house party, they had a keepy uppy challenge. As forwards, they became opponents and had to go head to head. He won the challenge and, even though it was just a silly party game, he approached her, shook her hand and told her she did great. The others teased them, and he will never forget the look on her face. Laura was shocked and speechless, but Julian felt her finally warming up to him. Later on, she confessed about being intimidated around him because he plays for Bayer Leverkusen. The two of them grew closer and started hanging out, not only because they live near each other but also because their friends started moving out of the region one by one.

Now it’s just the two of them. Still the two of them. What Julian felt when he held Laura at her most vulnerable was nothing like holding another friend – he was sure of it. He wanted to protect her. He wanted to take away her pain. He wanted to hold her until she’s happy again. He wanted to be her happiness. He wanted to be hers.

Julian looked up as the door to the doctor’s office opened and his best friend walked out. His heartbeat quickened. He clenched and unclenched his fists, waiting for Laura to notice him. Finally, she did, and Julian loved the way her whole face lit up in surprise at the sight of him.

“What are you doing here?” Laura asked as she approached him.

Julian stood up and rushed to her side to assist her.

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” she said, flustered. “I don’t have a cast now, see?” She raised her right leg.

“But why do you still use that?” Julian gestured at the cane.

“I’m still scared, I guess. I don’t want to put any pressure on my ankle and feel that kind of pain again,” she said with a nervous laugh.

“You won’t,” he said, prying her fingers from the handle.

“Julian!” she gasped, panicking.

“Trust me.” He looked into her eyes until he felt her grip on the handle loosen. He replaced it with his hand, intertwining his fingers with hers. His other hand slowly took the cane away. Hesitation filled Laura’s eyes as she held onto his hand tightly. He encouraged her with a nod. She gingerly lowered her right foot, and he felt her grip loosen again as she stood on both feet. Laura’s eyes widened at him when no pain followed.

“See?” Julian said with a smile.

They were still staring into each other’s eyes. Still holding each other’s hands. Still grinning like idiots.

Her hand is warm and a little rough. Where did she get these blisters? And are those specks of green on her eyes? I thought they were pure hazel. Julian’s thoughts went tumbling one after the other.

He couldn’t move. Part of him wanted to stay in that moment. Part of him wanted to let go because it’s the first time they held hands and he already wanted to hug her. Kiss her. It had that effect. And it scared him that he wouldn’t be able to hold back.

Laura was the first to let go. “I-I should text my mom to pick me up,” she said. Julian noticed her cheeks turn pink.

“I can drive you home,” he said. “If you want.” He felt his own cheeks heating up.

She nodded with a small smile. Julian watched her take careful steps and for a moment he wanted to hold her hand again to keep her steady. That, and because he suddenly found himself missing the feeling of her skin against his.

***

Julian watched her from the corner of his eye. Laura wore a serene smile on her face as she hummed to the song on the radio, her fingers drumming on her lap. He couldn’t help but smile too. He missed her. A lot. They didn’t get to hang out since her injury a month ago. It just felt right having her near again. Having her by his side. 

“You’re smiling,” Laura said, resting her chin on her hand as if studying him.

Julian bit his lip to suppress an even bigger smile.

“I like seeing you happy,” she said casually. “It suits you.”

He swallowed and stole a quick glance at her. “I- I have something for you.” He reached behind her seat and pulled out a teal colored box tied with a gold ribbon.

Laura looked puzzled as she untied the ribbon and lifted the lid. Her mouth dropped open. It was a dozen franzbrötchen, each piece with a small flag stuck in it. The flags had short, handwritten messages from her closest friends at her club. She gasped when she also found messages from Karim Bellarabi and Hakan Çalhanoğlu, her Leverkusen favorites.

“Now you’re the one smiling,” Julian said with a smirk.

“I’m crying!” she retorted, wiping her tears, and Julian burst out laughing.

Laura quickly bit into one and gushed, “Oh god, I missed this.” She offered it to Julian who shook his head.

“It’s all yours,” he said with a tender smile.

Suddenly she stopped chewing. “Oh shit! I forgot! Pull over!“

“What? Why?” Julian asked, startled.

“I forgot to take a pic of this first!” she whined, gesturing at the box. “Please, please, I want to eat more so I need to take a pic now.”

Julian rolled his eyes but did as he was told. He took out his phone and pointed it at her. Laura quickly ran her fingers through her thick dark brown hair, and he found himself mesmerized as he watched her movement on the screen. He swallowed hard again. Something as normal as smoothing hair becomes an instant turn on – what the hell is wrong with him?

“Is this okay?” Laura flashed a hopeful smile as she held the box open in front of her.

“Uh, wait.” Julian brushed a few crumbs from the corners of her mouth using his thumb. He did it slowly, carefully, and her whole body tensed up. When he pointed the camera at her again, he noticed her whole face has turned red.

Laura consciously licked her lips and smiled, although she looked uneasy. Julian felt his hands starting to tremble so he quickly snapped a photo and handed the phone to her.

“Thanks,” she mumbled.

They drove through the neighborhood in silence. Laura sent the photo to her phone and was now editing it.

“I like seeing you happy too,” Julian said out of the blue.

Laura’s head snapped up and she looked over at him. He was looking straight ahead, a small smile creeping up his lips.

On the way home after dropping off Laura, Julian checked her post on Instagram. The caption read, Thank you for making me happy and, although he was not tagged, he knew whom she meant. He smiled as he stared at the photo for a moment, and then he searched for the same photo in his gallery and made it his lock screen background.

***

“You know, it’s not just skipping trainings because of her,” Bernd Leno said as he kicked a ball at Julian’s direction and Julian stopped it with his side heel before kicking it into the bag. They were part of the losing team during a practice game and, as a consequence, had to clean up after training.

“Can you keep your voice down?” Julian hissed. He glanced around to see if any of their teammates could hear them. Baumi, Benny, Leon and Kampl, who were also part of the losing team, were already walking out of the grounds and carrying the rest of the equipment with them.

“It says a lot about your commitment to the team,” Bernd continued in the same tone. “And your career.”

“Geez, I know that, what makes you think I don’t know that?” Julian said, throwing his hands in the air. “And it’s just one training, okay? And it’s the last time I’ll do that so can you please stop judging me? As a friend?”

Bernd shrugged as he kicked another ball at his friend. “It must be serious, your feelings. I’ve never seen you like this before.”

Julian scratched his head, looking flustered. “I… I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”

“Not even with that girl you dated? What’s her name?”

Julian felt his stomach sink just remembering the name. He knew he messed up and Julia did not deserve it. Who knew he could be such an asshole? All because he was afraid to admit his true feelings to his best friend!

Bernd dribbled a ball on his hand. “You should tell Laura the truth.”

“If she doesn’t feel the same way – and I know she doesn’t,” Julian said, with emphasis on the last part, “that’s three years of friendship down the drain.”

“Three years? Okay.” The goalkeeper threw the ball at him.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Julian said, suddenly annoyed. He caught the ball and dumped it in the bag. “It has nothing to do with the number of years. I like her, our friendship. I like that she gets along well with my family. With my other friends. I like spending time with her. I like that I can tell her anything.”

“Anything,” Bernd repeated with a smirk, wiping the sweat on his forehead.

“You’re not getting this, are you?” Julian spat. “Why did I even bother telling you?”

“Look, just tell her how you feel. It’s that simple and, at the same time, I know it’s not. But there’s no other way.” Bernd walked towards the last ball on the ground and kicked it towards Julian but it flew past his friend and landed several meters away, rolling even farther.

Julian flashed him the middle finger before jogging to retrieve it.

“Sorry!” Bernd shouted, laughing and not looking sorry at all.

***

“He’s cute.”

Julian looked up from his phone and then at Laura who was sitting beside him, sipping her latte thoughtfully. He followed her gaze across the park to find a tall guy with a Siberian husky. It was early morning and there were only a few people out enjoying the summer sun. He quickly spotted the pair right across from their bench.

“The guy?” His heart sank.

“The husky. Do you think Nala likes him?”

“How can you tell it’s a boy?”

“I heard the guy call him Charlie.”

You sure are paying attention to the guy, he thought bitterly, but he didn’t say it out loud. Instead, he scoffed, “Dogs don’t have feelings." 

But then again, what do you know about feelings? You’re an asshole, his brain countered and he flinched inside because it’s true. 

Laura shrugged and sipped her latte again. “Feelings aren’t just about intimacy. And besides, who knows? Maybe huskies are her type. Have you considered her having babies with a husky?”

Julian bent down to pat Nala’s head. “She’s still a baby herself.” 

“I wonder what they would look like.”

“Are we seriously talking about this?”

“About Nala’s future children or feelings?”

Julian grabbed Laura’s cup and brought it to his lips but suddenly froze midway. Oh shit, indirect kissing. He shoved it back to her quickly as if it burned his hand. He could feel his heart beating furiously.

“What the hell’s wrong with you?” she exclaimed. “You almost spilled it!”

He swallowed hard as he watched her lips wrap around the spout as if kissing it. Shit.

Laura glanced at him sideways and spoke up, her tone suddenly serious. “There’s something I want to tell you.”

Julian averted his gaze nervously. He bent down again to pet Nala, calming himself. Is she in love with someone else? Is she switching clubs? Is she leaving? IS SHE IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE?

“Me too,” he blurted out before he could stop himself. How typical of him – putting up all his defenses at the first sign of conflict.

Laura peered at him, deadpan. “You go first then.”

“No, you.”

“I’m back with the team on Friday,” she said, drawing patterns on the cup cover. “Will you come watch me? You know, just like before.”

Julian couldn’t help but chuckle in relief. “Of course! That’s great. I… I’m so proud of you.” He made a move to hug her but stopped and flicked her cheek instead.

“So what are you going to tell me? Seeing that you’re too eager to interrupt me,” Laura teased.

“I didn’t mean to…” He rubbed his face with his hands in frustration. “I just…”

This is it. Is this it? Should I tell her now?

“I… I like…” Julian started. And then at the last second, he found himself searching for something to say. “I – I’d like to go to Jonny’s party on Sunday after my game. Can you come with me?”

Shit. Fuck. Damnit.

She raised an eyebrow at him and then nodded slowly. “Okay.”

“Thanks,” he mumbled with a nervous chuckle. He wiped the sweat on his brow and chuckled some more.

Shit. Fuck. Damnit.

Coward.

[bumblebeereus]

Go Solo.

Word count: 2222k A/N: Look who’s back, back again, tell a friend. I’m back with this whole thing of thinking that I’m a writer. Not everything is bad while being on quarantine, found the time to write again and this is the result. English is not my first language so sorry if there’s any typo. Sorry for the spacing if you’re reading this from your phone. Hope you like it. Feedback is always welcomed, thanks for reading this. –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Her friends told her first, but deep down she already knew. There’s no way on Earth that she couldn’t have fallen for him. They started as an on and off thing, fuck buddies, no string attached whatever you wanted to call it. She knew the deal, all the cards were on the table when they decided to start what they have now but that hasn’t stopped her from developing feeling for him. Leon hasn’t lied to her, he wasn’t ready for a relationship, but he wanted her company and he has fun whenever she’s around, not only when it comes to bedroom activities. They met thanks to a common friend and they clicked almost immediately. And a couple of beers later, they were even able to finish each other sentences. That’s why it has worked so easily, it simply flows and they go with it, they thought it could be a great idea. He found her attractive and she couldn’t lie either, he was handsome, to say the least. So yes, when they started their things it seemed perfect on the paper but a few months later…she isn’t so sure about it. She turns her head to look at him, he’s sleeping next to her oblivious to all the thoughts that are running around her mind right now. All she knows right now is that she can’t keep it for herself. Otherwise, she’s gonna end up exploding in the worst moment for them. Unconsciously, her hand runs through his curls, she always loved the feeling of stroking his hair. A grin flashed on his face. That’s the moment it hits her, she can’t keep it up with that they have. She needs to leave now before things get more complicated than what already are. She can’t have her heart broken by him, he hasn’t done something bad, he’s not guilty of that one. He made it crystal clear, he wasn’t ready for a relationship, he wasn’t ready for falling in love for someone. It’s game over for her. After all, she always knew that this could turn out like this. She didn’t expect to fall for him it simply happened they more they spent time together. She gets out of the bed and changes into her clothes before looking at him, peacefully sleeping unaware of all that's happening. She trips over one of his shoes, cursing under her breath, she looks back at his bed when he stirs. Leon opens his eyes, half asleep half awake looking at her using his elbow to sit up. “Where are you going? It’s 3 am, go back to sleep.” His fingers run through his hair as confusion flashed across his face. “I have tons of papers to finish before the end of the month, I wanna wake up early tomorrow, well today, and I didn't want to wake you up.” Hopefully, his half-asleep state helps her this time, she knows that he wouldn’t buy her bullshit if he were fully awake. “Can I give you a ride at least? I don’t like the idea of you walking home alone.” He sits on the bed resting his head against the headboard looking at her. “It’s okay Leon. I’ll call a taxi, don’t worry.” She smiles but somehow it doesn't reach her eyes and he notices it, he knows her. He has made her smile before, he knows when it's genuine. “Am I missing something here? Did I do something?” She shakes her head searching for her phone to call a cab. “It’s all good, I swear. I’m just a little stressed right now, you know me.” He opens his mouth to say something but shakes his head before talking. “I do. That’s why I’m asking…you know you can tell me whatever’s happening on that mind of yours, right?” She should have known better, he wasn’t gonna let her go away that easily. “I know, I’ll tell you as soon something is happening. But right now, it’s just my responsible self calling me out for not being focus on my work.” He’s not buying but he knows that she isn’t gonna tell her a thing right now so it’s better to let her go now and ask later. “Okay. Are you sure you don’t want me to give you a ride? Send me a message as soon as you’re home at least.” She shakes her head one more time before heading to the door. “Don’t worry I’ll text you as soon as I make it home, safe and sound. See you, Leon." “Thank you. See you, gorgeous.” Leon’s name and face appear, once again, on her phone screen. He has been calling her all day, well more like since he finished his match. She’s aware she’s gonna have to face him someday, but she's not ready to do it now. He didn’t buy her bullshit and knew that something was off with her. After all, they were friends and if she didn’t want to share what she was dealing with, it somehow offended him. He thought they were friends and he thought that she would feel confident enough around him to tell him whatever was going on with her at the moment. But what he can’t imagine is that he’s the main reason for her being off with him. Avoiding him forever wasn't an option for her, their friends were mainly the same and she couldn't be around them without him being there most of the times. It wouldn’t be fair for their friends to chose a side when it’s not a side to chose in the first place. They had nothing to do with what they have or had. She’s aware of what she needs to do. Face him, get all out off her chest and then call it quits. But everything seems easier on the paper, she knows she'd crumble under his presence. Focusing on her work rather than spend the afternoon thinking about him was her plan, but it hasn't worked at all. He was constantly on her mind, and the phone ringing across the room hasn’t made it easier for her not to think about him, even tho she put it on silent mode the seconds time it ringed. Leaving the house seemed like the perfect way of getting her head to stop thinking about him, nothing like strolling around the city with a cup of coffee. The crisp air of Munich during autumn gives her chills as soon as she steps out of her house. She walks around the city not knowing really where she is going, she simply walks while her favourite playlist is put on shuffle freeing her mind for at least one hour. When she looks around, she knows exactly where she is, she’s been there before. Indeed, she’s been there a lot recently. All the times she's been there instantly crosses her mind, all the laughs, hugs, kisses and the sleepless nights. God, she's gonna miss him. “Are you looking for me?” She’d recognize that voice anywhere, in all of the possible different tones. She turns around to face him and he’s looking way better than the last time she saw him if that’s even possible. Is she a joke to everyone? Because at this point, she truly thinks she is. “Kind of…yes. I think I was.” She nods as he places one hand on her back slightly pushing her to the door. “Let's talk inside then.” She’s on his couch with a cup of tea on her hands while he comes back with one for himself as well. Sitting next to her he puts one hand on her knee, his thumb rubbing it as he looks at her with concern on his eyes. “What’s wrong? You’ve been avoiding me for days. And I know you were stressed with work and all that but…” She can tell by the tone he is using that he’s been beating himself up for this. He knows it because of him but can’t put his finger on what he has done to her. “It’s not something you’ve done. I know you think you’re the reason and somehow, you are but not in the way you think. God, I’m not making sense, aren’t I?” He smiles sweetly at her, he always thought she was adorable but she reaches her own peak when she starts acting like that. “You can try tho, talk to me. What’s the problem? What’s going on? I don’t know what I did, but I’m pretty sure that I’m sorry.” His hand covers her hand resting on her knee and her whole body shivers under the subtle touch. “You don’t have to apologize, you did nothing wrong. I’ve always known that you can’t control how someone else feels. You’re not the one to blame, well, there's no one here to blame.” She tries not to look at his eyes, for all that’s good in the world, otherwise, she knows she’ll crumble. “What are you trying to say, baby?” “I’m falling for you if I haven’t had already. And I know what you said, you’re not ready for a relationship, you aren't ready to fall for someone and I do get it. That’s why I’m calling quits with this. I can’t keep seeing you and spending time with you and having sex with you when I already know how this is gonna end. I don’t wanna ruin our friendship, you’re one of the most incredible human beings I've ever met.” He hasn’t seen her since told him that she was falling for him and that she needed time to clear her mind before seeing him again. He tried to tell her, he tried but words didn’t leave his mouth even tho they were dancing on his tongue. “I'm falling for you too” She didn’t even give him a chance to speak, she kissed him for the last time, hugged him and smile at him before leaving his house. That’s the last time she saw her. He wanted to giver her the space she asked for and yet he wanted to call her every single day. He has missed her like crazy. He missed watching her along with his friends at the stadium cheering for him, he missed talking to her before an important match. He missed celebrating every win with her. He missed the way her fingers traced his back when he snuggled with her watching lame tv shows. He missed the way her eyes were always waiting for him whenever they were, he knew as soon as he looks for her, she was already there waiting for him. He missed the way he could always talk about anything and everything and she'd never judge him no matter what. Maybe his friends were right, maybe he took it for granted thinking that she’d always be there for him. Maybe he didn't accept the way he was feeling about her. Maybe he should have said it and she wouldn't have left him. Maybe, but it was too late now. She wasn’t in his life now, she called it quits, she needed out and he was too afraid to say he didn’t want her to leave. And he knew it, all too well. His friend called him that day asking him to go out with him, to have dinner. He missed most of them, but being around them was a reminder of what he’s missing. He knows it’s been a while and she hasn't been around whenever he was out with them, so she won't be there that night. That's what he thought and the main reason she went out with them. The same reason why she said yes to go out with them that night. His heart skipped a beat when he saw her. She was glowing, her smile reaches her eyes, they’re sparkling and he can’t but smile when he sees her like that. Like the old times, she’s smiling just like he did when he was around her. But this time, he isn’t the one making her smile. His hand is on her lower back, they’re talking with a bunch of friends. She rests her head against his shoulder as they speak. She seems happy, way happier than the last time he saw her. She laughs and he can’t help but smile, a sight for sore eyes. When she stops laughing their eyes meet and his whole body shivers, all that he has felt until that day explodes. He wants to go and talk to her, he wants to say something but deep down he knows it too late. The guy next to her leans over and kiss her, his hand on her lower back and hers on his chest. That’s when he realizes it's too late, she has found another one and she seems happy he has no right to say something, he wants her to be happy and she is now. One of his friends pats him in the back when they watch the whole scene. He smiles, but the smile doesn’t reach his eyes and says goodbye. He needs to leave. He turns to look at her one last time and she’s already looking at him. She could have been the best right in a million wrongs but now, he goes solo.

[footballffbarbiex]

I’m Yours

Player: Julian Brandt. Type: Fluffy smut. Warnings: mentions of virginity and wanting to take it further, mentions of his loss of virginity, dirty talk but not dirty talk (if you read it, you'll get it). More fluff than smut. Word count: 905 Request: Fluffy Brandt suggestion: maybe it’s his girls first time? And he’s scared he’ll screw up

to get ahead with updates for here and read exclusive content for nowhere else, there’s patreon.

She hadn’t hidden the fact that she was a virgin from him. In fact, she told him as soon as it was deemed normal to bring it up in conversation, fully expecting not to hear from him again - just like with some of the other guys who have tried to date her. The words “I’m a virgin” would often say to them that she wasn’t down to do anything, she was a prude and everything else that came in between. In fact, this wasn’t the case. She just hadn’t met the person that she’d wanted to do anything with. She didn’t want to save her virginity until marriage, but she also didn’t want to rush into anything and give it away to the first guy who asked.

Julian had been one of the very few guys who had still looked at her the same after finding out, and certainly the only one who had made a continuous effort without her feeling as though he was only doing so to see if she’d change her mind and give in to him.

Julian had been patient. His first time was rushed and both not memorable for being the best but memorable in the way that he’d lost it. Unable to believe it was finally happening, his first time had been a mess on his behalf, hardly knowing what he was doing. Porn was quite different to real life and he hadn’t anticipated such a poor performance from himself. He hadn’t wanted hers to be the same, even if he himself had improved. Hopefully.

The more he thought about it, the more it began to play on his mind each time she kissed him, held herself close to him and gave him a look that previous experience had told him would mean she was in the mood for something a little more than what they were currently doing. He’d found a way to diffuse the situation, cockblocking himself in the process and it was becoming a hard habit to snap himself out of.

Because there, at the back of his mind, is the irrational thought that her first time might not be that good and it would be because of him.

____

Her legs wrap around his waist, one hand fists his shirt, the other hand sits on the back of his neck, softly stroking at the hair there as she kisses him. Against his better judgement, his hips slowly rock back and forth, grinding his covered erection against her covered core. His cheeks feel heated, his moans are soft and breathy against her kiss and he longs to push her thighs further apart and slip his hand into her underwear to feel just how wet she is if the way her low mewls and the slow circling of her hips against him are anything to go by.

“I want to take things further Jule,” she says, barely breaking the kiss to speak her words. This isn’t and won’t be the last make-out session that they have, but it’s certainly the first time she’s vocally expressed her need for him. The confession stuns him and his erection twitches in his shorts.

“I-what?”

“I said, I want to take things further. With you.” She adds, and then feels a little silly. “Not that there’s anyone else but I thought I’d clarify.”

“If it’s because of what I did then-”

“It is.” She nods. “If anything, feeling that has made me want it.” Julian begins to open his mouth to argue that wasn’t his intention when she places a finger over his lips. “I know. But I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and feeling you now, has just confirmed it. We don’t have to have sex but…I’d be open to trying some things. If you wanted to.”

“Such as?”

“What? You’re not going to check if that’s what I want again?”

“Don’t mock me. This is serious.” Julian rebukes. “And I am going to be checking throughout and I’ll need you to tell me to stop at any point.”

“I will. Now, if I were to want to do something right now, where would you start?” She asks, her legs lowering from his waist and she makes herself comfortable.

“I’d start by kissing down your neck,” he tells her, dragging a finger down over her pulse point and stopping only when his fingertip reaches the collar of her shirt.

“Do it.” She instructs.

Julian presses his lips to her skin, following the track that his finger had just made down her skin. If he felt the quickening of her pulse beneath his kiss, he didn’t make a point of it. He peppers kisses over her chest where he can touch freely, over where her collarbones are situated and half on her skin, half on the material of her clothes.

“And next?”

“I’d take this from you,” he rubs the shirt between his finger and thumb, “kiss over your boobs, see how sensitive your nipples are.”

“And then?”

“I guess, I’d take my mouth lower. If that’s what you wanted.”

She begins to lift, pushing Julian to a sitting position before her. Her hands grip the hem of her shirt, pulling it above her head and discards it on the floor, leaving her in just her pants and bra. “I’ll tell you if I want you to stop.”

“Promise?” He asks her, his own heart quickening.

“I promise.”

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Forever tags:  @elle-aaron​  | @kxndrixx​ |  @fangirlinsince1998​ | @henrythickcavill​ | @msgem​ | @grizifc​ | @xxsophie-raabxx​ | @degea-drama-llama​ | @evie-pr​ | @meteora-fc​  | @softstonsey​ | @anakindoesntlikesand​ | @antoine-james​ |  @footballfangurl​ |   @romanisbaex​ | @lawsandother​ |   @footballstorytime​   | @neapolitanheart​  |  @spursondele​  |   @footballerimaginess​   |    @pom277​    | @emilielfc   |   @sunslittlesister​  |  @royalloris​  | @wearethealien​   |   @layazul​

[iwriteficsandtragedies]

In Knots

Warnings: none

Player: Julian Brandt

__________________________________

“I need a vacation.” She fell face first into bed, groaning as her body decompressed from her third shift in as many days. Julian was mindlessly scrolling through his phone, but he freed one hand to grab her butt. “I need a vacation with a massage every day and bottomless mimosas and no call lights or alarms.”

“Let’s go,” Julian said. He set his phone aside and turned to her. “Where?”

“When, more like it.” She closed her eyes with a long, heavy sigh. “We’re short handed until summer.” Julian rubbed his hand over her shirt in wide circles, and she motioned for him to pay extra attention to her lower back. She firmly believed he’d missed his calling as a massage therapist.

He lifted her shirt to better work on her sore muscles. “You don’t have the weekend off?”

“I’m supposed to, but I’ll bet you a couple hundred I get called in. I already got called in for tomorrow.”

“And you can’t say no?”

“I can, but…”

“But you won’t.” He gave her a sweet smile. “My little superhero.” The heel of his palm found a tender spot right over her hip bone, and he backed off when she winced. “I wish you would.”

She knew he was right. She hadn’t had more than one day off in two months, and burnout was setting in. Between their two schedules, this was actually the first night they’d gone to bed together in weeks. She just didn’t know if she had it in her to leave her team stretched even thinner than they already were. “Maybe I won’t get called in.”

Julian lay a warm kiss against her shoulder. “And maybe I’ll win the Golden Boot.” “Ooooh, self burn,” she laughed as he cut off the light and pulled the blankets over them. “Those are really rare.”

“We watch too much TV.” He rolled her onto her side, spooning around her. “We should maybe go outside tomorrow.”

“Outside,” she sighed. “I remember outside.” She was certain Julian wanted to talk more, but she’d had such a long, hard day, she was asleep in minutes.

Friday came, with its expected pre-dawn call from work begging her to come help, and as Julian kissed her on her way out the door he grabbed the front of her scrubs. “You can’t work tomorrow.”

“Jule…”

“Please, I have a surprise.”

“We’ll see.”

Twelve hours of demanding patient families and two scrub changes later, with a pounding headache and feet that hurt even worse, she told her supervisor in no uncertain terms that she’d see her at her regularly scheduled shift on Monday and not a minute sooner. She turned her phone off when she got home; she took the quickest, hottest shower she could, and she didn’t even wake up when Julian crawled into bed beside her.

When her eyes opened again, another twelve hours had passed. She was in the same position she’d fallen asleep in, and her joints were stiff and painful when she stumbled to the bathroom. The house smelled of beignets; Julian was wonderful in the kitchen, especially when it came to breakfast and sweet things, and she went to find them as quickly as her aching legs would take her.

She found him at the dusting powdered sugar over the fried dough. There was champagne and orange juice for mimosas, fruits, and bacon laid out, and she could hear the espresso machine whirring in the kitchen. “Hey sleeping beauty,” he teased. “Nice to see you among the living.” He slipped an arm around her for a kiss. “Eat. I’ll get the coffee.”

“How’d you know I’d be up before all this got cold,” she called after him, dropping herself into a chair and piling her plate high with food.

“It’s been what, five years now? You’ve never slept past eight. Even when you worked nights.”He was right. She’d always been an early riser. She took a huge bite of beignet, sugar covering her shirt. “You should open a bakery when you retire.” She savored every bite she took. The bacon was cooked to perfection, and he’d made a little heart on her latte. “I’ll be your quality control.”

He poured her a mimosa. “You’d eat all the profit, is what you’d do.” She returned his grin around a mouthful of melon.

“This was a lovely surprise, babe, thank you.”

He raised an eyebrow. “This isn’t it.” He checked his watch. “But it’s ready when you are.”

“What is it?”

He rose from his seat. “Finish your mimosa.” She grabbed her glass and followed him, only to stand bewildered as she was greeted by a very large man standing by a massage table in their living room.

“Oh perfect, I’ve just finished setting up. Are we ready?”

“What?” She turned to Julian. “What’s this?”

“I brought the massage to you,” he said. “This is Evan, he works with the team sometimes.”

“A massage… here?” Julian nodded. “…okay,” she said, still confused. “Okay.”

“I’ll step out while you undress to your comfort level,” Evan said. “Then if you’ll just lie face down on the table under the blanket, we’ll get to work.” He stepped out into the foyer, and she grabbed at Julian’s arm as he started to follow him.

“How did you do this,” she asked in a low voice as she stripped down to her panties. “How long has he been here? Did you keep him waiting this whole time?”

“He got here just before you woke up,” Julian said, leering at her. She swatted his hand away. “You said you wanted mimosas and massage, right?”

She had said she wanted mimosas and massage, he had her there. “And you know this guy? Is he good?”

“Babe, by the time he’s done with your neck and shoulders, you’ll want him to move in.” He leaned in for a kiss, fingers tracing over her bare skin. “Now get under the blanket before I send him away.”

Ninety minutes later and she felt like jelly. Evan had found muscles she didn’t know had hurt, and worked out every kink and knot and twinge. She hadn’t had this much movement in her neck in years. Her back didn’t hurt, her feet didn’t ache with every step. She was a new woman.

“God, I need one of those every day. We should ask him to move in,” she said, when Evan had packed up his equipment and left.

“Told you,” Julian said. “Are you hungry? Let’s go somewhere nice for lunch.”

“I need a shower. There’s oil in my hair.”

“I can help with that.” He gave her a sly grin. “Can’t promise you won’t wind up in knots again, though.”

[mashafootball]

Hers - Julian Brandt Imagine

Part 1 (Y/N meeting Jannis)   

Part 2 (Y/N meeting Julian’s parents) 

It isn’t necessary to read the first two parts. 

„So, how do you feel? Are you nervous? Because you sure look like it.”, you laughed, staring at your boyfriend, who was fumbling around with the black buttons of his white button-down shirt, seeming a little shaky.

After you already had honor of meeting Julian’s whole family (even the aunts and uncles your boyfriend didn’t even know properly, it was finally time to introduce the blonde footballer to your parents. Even though your mum basically already knew everything about your new-found love and your relationship, she was still ecstatic to finally meet Julian in real life. Your father, a usually very reserved and serious man was also looking forward to meeting the young man his only daughter had fallen head over heels in love with. As Julian was, at least in your opinion, a quite amazing boyfriend, he had nothing to be afraid of. “Stop fidgeting with your shirt, you are making it even more wrinkly.”, you told him, rolling your eyes at his weird behavior. You kind of expected your usually very calm boyfriend to stay a little bit more relaxed. But the way he had paced around in your living room and put on three different outfits before your parents arrived signaled how nervous he was really feeling. And now it seemed like he was dying on your couch.

“Do you think it looks too wrinkly? Should I wear something else? I should have brought the black one.”, Julian had panic written all over his pale face, already getting ready to take the white fabric off his body. “Hey! Say something!”, he urged you as you continued to stare at him rather than answer his question. “Relax. For a second! You are acting far worse than I did. Everything will be fine, you look handsome babe.”, you told him, thinking about the first time you had met his brother Jannis and after some time after that his parents. “Is the shirt too wrinkly?”, he asked again. “No.”

After taking a look at the clock on your living room wall you realized your parents would arrive very soon, Julian already starting to pace around the small room again, hands running up and down his shirt. “Babe.”, you called from the kitchen, getting some more things to set the table with. “Yes?”, he answered soon after, appearing in the kitchen, “Will they be here soon?”, he wondered, following you back into the living room like a lost puppy. “They will probably be here in a few minutes. One thing you should know: They are never, like never ever, late.”, you explained, thinking about all the times your parents had scolded you for arriving even a minute late. There was absolutely nothing they hated as much as other people being late – or god forbid – them not being on time - for once.

When you both heard a fierce knock at your door, Julian suddenly stood up from the sofa, “Oh no.”, he hissed, fingers brushing through his hair, “oh no, no.”, he grimaced, sitting down again. “Relax. You will mess up your hair!”, you demanded, your hands already smoothing his hair down again, trying to fix the mess he had just created on his head. After you managed to make him look like before you stood up and walked off to your entrance door, mentally preparing for your mum’s tight hugs and kisses.

After hugging and kissing your parents hello you let them into the flat, helping with hanging up their jackets. “Julian is really nervous.”, you told them quietly, hoping your boyfriend didn’t hear you. “Such a sweetie.”, you mother smiled softly, taking her shoes off.

As the three of you entered your living Room, Julian immediately got up from the couch, hands brushing over his jeans, walking over to you. “Hi!”, you mum squealed and before Julian could reply anything, she had already pulled him into what seemed like a quite bone-breaking hug. “Mum.”, you whined. “Hello Miss Y/L/N.”, Julian said, and you were pretty sure you had never heard him sound that shy before. You could practically feel his neck turning red and hot. “Hello Mister Y/L/N.”, he turned to your father, shaking his outreached hand. Luckily, your parents both told him to call them by their first names – making both you and Julian relax a little. That was a good sign – especially from your dad.

After finishing the dinner, you had cooked during the whole afternoon, you moved to the couch, each of you with a wine glass in the hand. Julian was loosening up by the minute. While he stayed mainly quiet during your dinner, he started warming up a little when the four of you sat down on the couch. The wine was probably doing its job too. Joking around with your mum, putting his charm to use and talking to your dad about football, who wasn’t really a fan of the Bundesliga, but still very interested in your boyfriend’s profession. As you saw that everyone’s glass was empty, you decided to go back into the kitchen to open another bottle, soon followed by the quiet steps of your mother.

“Everything alright?”, you asked her softly, reaching for the wine in your refrigerator. “I love him.”, she said, squeezing your shoulders, making a grin appear on your face. “I do too.”

(tags: @julianbrandtrelated @holybrandt

[footballerindreams]

When Accidents Happen, They Happen - Chapter 11

Niklas’ POV

Training here in Nice with the team was both fun and tiring. Every day is jam-packed with drills, activities, media tapings and fan meetings and the only time where we can relax is during the eating breaks and sleeping at night but today, Coach himself gave us a leeway to enjoy by ourselves and I thank God for that, it will be today. I’m sure of it.

I decided that to go to Cannes with Davie whom I really trusted with this thing I will be dealing with. We took the train since it’s much faster than driving a car. We sat at the economy coach with a lot of people recognizing us.

“Nik, there are nice shops back a Nice. Why go to Cannes?” Davie asked even though he wants to go with me there.

“I found a shop in the internet that casts good quality gemstone rings and I want to go there, check it out, and possibly buy.” I replied to him.

“What’s the ring fo…Oh mein got. You’re going to propose to Mia.” Davie looked at me with wide eyes and shook me on the shoulder. “You’re going to propose to her!”

“Stop it will you! If you want me to propose to Mia and you go back to Eve in one piece you better stop now.”

“Sorry.” He mumbled.

“Jeez Davie, you’re embarrassing.” I replied giggling at him.

We reached Cannes swiftly and without delay I and Davie walked through the streets of the famous city looking for that shop that I was looking for. After a while we reached it and went in.

It was a classy store, obviously people with a heap of cash in their pockets could muster the courage to come in here. We were greeted by the receptionist as asked what we were looking for. I talked to the receptionist while Davie busied himself by looking around.

I was looking at the displays of rings until I saw something that she would like. It was a gold band designed with tiny gemstones of diamond, rubies and sapphires. I picked it and the receptionist showed it to me.

“Do you have the size of the finger sir?” The receptionist asked and I nodded with a smile. I told her the circumference of Mia’s ring finger and good thing they had a size for it.

“How did you even got a size of her finger?” Davie asked.

“Well, I measured it with a tape measure when she was sleeping deeply…” Then I smirked. “…after we were done with…” and Davie smacked my arm softly.

“You rabbit.” He said and we both giggled.

The receptionist came back with the band with my requested size and when I was satisfied, I paid for it and she placed it on a special box and a small shopping bag.

As we stepped out of the shop, my phone rang and I picked it up my pocket and answered it. It was Mitchell.

“Where the hell are the both of you?” he asked.

“Cannes?”

“The hell?! Why did you left me? I though we are friends.” Mitchell sounds upset.

“Sorry Mitch. Last minute decision. But we’re on our way back. Wait for us by the beach. I promise we will make it up to you. Davie will give a treat.” I said looking at my other friend.

“WHAT?” Davie asked in surprised and I just widened my eyes on him and hang my phone.

I was about to put my phone back in my pocket when a man bumped into me accidentally and I dropped my phone.

“Oh my! I’m so sorry. Monseur!” he said.

“It’s okay. It’s okay.” I accepted his apology and he went on in some kind of a rush.

“Watch we’re you going next time dude.” Davie shouted.

I picked up my phone and when I turned it on, there was a crack in the middle of my glass screen from top to bottom, creating a broken partition in my lockscreen wallpaper of me and Mia. I just sighed.

“I just bought this phone.”

“Should we chase the guy and let him pay?” Davie asked a bit pissed.

“No need. Let’s go. Mitch is already upset we left him. Mind as well not be late to meet him. I’ll just get this phone done when we’re back to Germany.”

---

Mia’s POV

I’m such a mess. I don’t know what I was saying. Why did I told Julian I was falling in love with him? This is my fault. I was in a daze after we fucked and I told him that. And much worse, we did it three more times while he was here.

He just left the house with a smile on his face. Before he did, he cuddled Nian tightly in his arms and gave him a deep smooch in the tummy that made his son giggle then he gave me a kiss in the lips.

Now, I am here on the porch of the house. Good thing Nian went to sleep already so I don’t have to worry anything except for what is murdering my mind right now, which is not very, very right from the start.

I thought of all the things about me and Nik. How our relationship started, how he introduced Julian and how we became close friends. Then the aftermath of our night sleeping together, me getting pregnant and them being so caring about me. Giving birth to Nian and to the present time.

It made me hug my knees close to my chest and sob leaning to the railing of the porch’s staircase until I was snapped out of my thoughts when I hear a voice.

---

Nik’s POV

“Mia? Are you okay?” I asked when I arrived home seeing her on the porch somewhat crying.

“Nik. You’re---you’re home.” She replied.

“Yeah. I didn’t bother to tell you and just hitched with Mitch’s going home. What are you doing here baby? It’s cold here outside.” I crouched down to her and gave her a hug before pulling her up and lead her inside the house.

I put my bags on our room and check on Nian, who is sleeping deeply on his own room and went back to the kitchen where Mia is preparing a warm chocolate for the both of us. She gave a filled mug to me but as I looked at her, she is so sad and troubled. Kind of desperate and I’ve never seen her like this.

“Baby, is there something wrong? You know you could tell me.” I asked her as she sits down and shakes her head.

I really want to know what troubles her so I thought of the only idea left in my mind to do. “I want you to tell me what is on your mind…after I tell you this. Is that okay?” I asked.

She nodded.

I stood up of my chair and kneeled in front of her pulling out a red velvet box and opened it revealing the ring I bought for her.

“Mia, will you tell me what troubles you? I will help you. And will you marry me?”

Hi everyone! I just want you to know that this is the second to the last chapter of this fic. I thank you, as early as now, for being with me through this. There might be errors in what I am writing but I am always open for corrections and improvements. Feel free to message me.

One more chapter to go.

Again, thank you.

Cc: @quack-and-yellow

[penguintransporter]

Daisies (a short “anyone you want it to be with” story) Part II

part I | masterlist

__

According to one of the many dictionaries around the world wide web, the word regret can be described as ‘a feeling of sadness about something sad or wrong, or about a mistake that one has made, and a wish that it could have been different and better’.

No human being is spared of the particular feeling of regret at some point in life, and as such, it exists to teach us new views and ways of doing things differently. After all, we, people are born to make mistakes, to repent and to carry the consequences of things we did or things we do, and in the end, we are made to learn from our experiences. 

Still, humans wouldn’t be humans if there weren’t exceptions, and he knows he is one of them.

As he sits up and reaches out for his watch that had been resting on the bedside table, he adds another thing to, what it felt like, a never-ending list of the things he is going to regret sooner or later. Like hypnotized, he finds himself staring at time as it slowly ticks away – each second feeling heavier than the one before, and it takes him a good, full minute before he blinks and looks down at her.

She has a questioning look on her face, but she doesn’t say anything as she pulls the cream-coloured sheet over her chest, which in return, exposes her smooth leg that he eagerly touched, just a handful minutes ago, but now, it makes him sick just to think about his own behaviour. He feels like an awful person for using her as a distraction; for giving in into yet another act of intimacy that meant very little once the moment of bliss and satisfaction left his body.

But, fight fire with fire, they say.

He gives her a small smile – just a lift of one of the corners of his mouth before he looks away and smoothly gets up to put his clothes back. 

Both his heart and his head were a mess. 

The mess he created with his own behaviour and poorly made decisions.

What are you doing?

He wasn’t supposed to be there, in this minimally furnished bedroom, sitting half-naked at the edge of this enormous bed.

He was supposed to be on the other side of the city, at the airport, just like everyone else who cared about her, and as he slips his t-shirt on, he cannot help but wonder if she even had the tiniest clue about why he couldn’t bring himself to be there? If she expected his absence?

A coward at his finest.

Truth to be told, and he can only be honest with himself when he thinks, he wanted to be there.

He wanted to be there to give her a hug, to wrap his arms around her and breathe in the faint traces of her perfume that seemed to be stuck in every item of clothing she owned – daisies-patterned or not. He wanted to be there for her, like he should, to whisper in her ear to take care of herself and to call him often; to visit whenever.

More than anything, he wanted to admit to her how much he cares, and even if his own idiocy caused her pain in the past, he wanted to be a selfish bastard one last time and ask for another chance for a future together. 

He wanted to tell her how much he wants her, every bit of her; how much he needs her.

How much he regrets that he let her slip away.

If only he had the guts to be there and to be honest with her for once. Maybe she would have changed her mind and stayed? Maybe she would have, just like in the movies, turned around just before boarding her flight? Maybe she would have ran into his arms and he was sure that he would have held her, never letting go.

If only.

He knows that he is being foolish.

To think that some empty words would change her mind and make her stay was the most ridiculous thing to do, because, how can he even begin to ponder that he deserves another chance? That he has any right to be selfish? 

Deep down he knows that he doesn’t, because, when she held her heart on her sleeve for him to take it, he ignored it, pushing it aside; toppling it over with force and shattering it.

Because all the others were more interesting, more exciting, more everything.

He trampled over the field of daisies, leaving a trail of broken stems behind.

How can he even think that some words would make them heal; make them flower again.

“You can stay, you know,” she speaks as she props herself on her elbow.

He shrugs a little, getting up. “I have some plans for later.”

No, he doesn’t.

She doesn’t say anything, but he knows that she’s watching him because he feels her eyes following his every move, but he finds it difficult to look back. Ashamed, disgusted and annoyed with himself – that’s how he feels because he knows how wrong it is to keep this farce of a relationship going; to keep hurting her, to use her as a distraction. Many men and women would have been more than happy to have someone as stunning as she is as their partner, and at one point in his life, he was one of them, but now, nothing about the relationship felt right.

Empty, shallow conversation that didn’t matter, curt answers, with silence filled moments, and occasional sex was all that was left out of them ever since he realised he was in love with someone else. Ever since he began to imagine some other lips kissing him, some other body in his arms, some other fingers crawling at his back; some other breaths and moans against his cheek – his relationship with the girl who watches him curiously as he dresses himself in a dimly lit room he once was familiar with, deteriorated.

Daisies.

When he finally leaves her apartment, clutching his phone in his hand, he isn’t surprised to see several missed calls and few unread text messages – all of which came from the same person – his teammate, and one of the people who tried to take off the blindfold he carried over his eyes.

As his eyes scan over the screen, each line of the text slaps him harder than the previous one.

You should have been here.

You owe her that much.

Are you really not going to show up?

And then, the last slap that knocks him out – figuratively – is the photograph.

Five people that he cared about so dearly, all huddled together as they grinned at the camera, but his eyes stay locked at one face in particular, and that’s when the regret for not being there overwhelms him even more than before.

Is this how it will end? 

Will their story end before it had the chance to begin?

Seeing their faces in that single picture; seeing her bright smile, and those eyes shadowed with sadness – he wishes that he was there as well, next to her, having his arms around his friends, pulling a face or telling a bad pun that would make them laugh before the flash goes off.

The watch on his hand ticks away slowly as he sits in his car, slamming the doors harder than he wanted to. Even if he starts to drive now, breaking every speed limit and ignoring every red light on his way, he wouldn’t be able to get there on time. 

He wouldn’t be able to get there on time to hug her, to say every word that was on his mind; to make her stay.

Like writing a poetry book, he adds another verse of regret, lined up perfectly – one after another as he backs his car onto the road, taking the opposite direction to the one that would take him to the airport.

He was late.

🌼

part III

Hope you liked the second part, there will be third part as well, if not tonight then mid-week. I had a really rough and busy patch at work last week so I wasn’t able to update. Make sure to check out my masterlist (pinned post), and to tell me what you think about this one. As before, I kinda want to tag people here because I think they are all amazing writers and mutuals.

@rosie7703, @emwritesfootball, @avenirdelight, @alexajanecollins, @afootballimagines, @footballerimaginess, @footballxwrites, @just-imagines, @donkeykai​

If I forgot someone, please message me and I will add you :)