#Just take me out back and fucking shoot me already. I'll dig the hole myself

[piningpercussionist]

Kim these are not exactly very heterosexual tags. I hope you know that

What?! You-

*Kim rereads her own omissions back to herself, her face contorting with several conflicting emotions, chief among them embarrassment and rage.*

I-

*Kim seemingly has to take a moment to collect herself, scowling with a heavy flush. Eventually, she looks back up.*

Shut the hell up! What's it matter, anyway?! I was drunk when I answered that!

Anyway, are you gonna tell me that I'm wrong?!

[wildfantasykitten]

As I growl louder and rougher, feeling your soft insides getting bruised by my hard cock, as I kiss your back, biting on you the rougher I get, thinking to myself “mmmmmmm, fuck, his hole feels so good when it clenches around my cock”. Feeling your tightest hole squeezing my shaft each time my head goes so deep you flinch. “I’m gonna fill you with every drop I’ve got, baby mama. So many babies you’re gonna need me to carry you everywhere cause your tummy’s gonna be too much for you”.

I match my movements on your cock with mine going into you, making our bodies rock back and forth together. Loving feeling your skin slide up and down your shaft with my hand, such a sexy baby mama, making me feel luckier than he can imagine. My other hand loves the feeling of your stomach skin stretching against my palm, I can almost feel the veins sticking out as the belly button pops, and I love feeling it so much, it makes me somehow speed up. I nearly roar behind you as the feeling of knowing our babies are already filling you more than your body ever expected turns me on even more.

I can feel your stomach pushing my hand against the pillows underneath you in a way they didn’t before, making me grind behind you from pride. “Ohhh, my baby mama, they’re growing so fast inside you, I’ll be able to feel the pressure of your womb against my cock soon” I keep my hand under your tummy, making sure that no matter how rough I am with you, our babies will be kept safe and protected. My cock trembles at the thoughts of another, as my teeth dig into your upper back and I force my self deeper inside you than ever, the slight sensation of your womb squeezing against my head as I explode a thick load of my seed inside you. “Fuuuucckk” I shout in your ear as we hold hands over your tummy and I can’t help but increase my grip on your dick. My brain goes empty as I kiss the top of your back and the back of your head. “God, you’re just the perfect baby mama for all of my babies. Don’t think I’m done with you for the day… Far from it…”

The scream that tears from my throat as you slam all the way against my womb is nearly animalistic, my head tilting back in unison with yours as I hit my release the exact same second that you do. You can feel my hole tighten impossibly around your cock, clenching onto you with a vice-like grip, ensuring that every single burst of your thick hot seed has no viable way to escape from me. At the very same time, you feel me cum hard against you, my cock shooting off thin streaks of white all over our blankets and pillows as my pussy squirts almost violently between both of our legs. I give an almost startled gasp as, for a split second, I'm scared that it's actually my water breaking. Luckily all it takes is my hand quickly reaching down between my legs to realize that no, it's not my water breaking just yet...you just actually made me cum hard enough for you that the combined bursts from my cock and pussy made it feel like that's what was happening.

The overwhelming pleasure that takes over me in that moment is so strong that it almost makes me dizzy.

I let out another loud, desperate moan as another hard shudder ripples through my body, my hand gripping yours over my belly as we maintain that secure and protective hold. It wasn't even something I had to consciously think about doing, or tell myself to remember the entire time we were fucking--there was just something in me that set my body on autopilot, that knew exactly where to keep my hand with yours to make sure that our babies stayed safe in my belly. There was something so natural about it that it almost felt primal being so in tandem with you. Another shiver accompanied by a tender mewl escapes me as my fingers almost frantically rub over the backs of yours, wordlessly trying to convey what I'm not able to get out with words.

I love you. I love our babies. I want to give you as many of our babies as you can possibly put inside me. I'll keep them safe. I'll make sure they continue to get nice and big. I'll give birth to them when they're ready to come out. I'll beg you to fill me with more the second that they're born. I always want to be your baby mama.

My head slowly drops back down to the pillows as I start panting heavily, moaning very softly in the back of my throat as it dawns on me then just how big my belly has been stretching. Now that I'm not completely lost to our lovemaking, my brain is able to register that my belly has grown enough that it's sandwiching our linked hands between the taut skin and our pillows. I try to reach back for your hand with my free one, shivering sweetly at the feeling of your gentle kisses to the back of my neck, as I groan out helplessly, "Please don't stop...p-please...please, baby daddy--mmn!!!"

You feel me stiffen against your chest, my hips bucking back against your cock as you realize what it was that cut me off so abruptly...

A kick.

A hard kick, right against our joined hands on my belly.

Our babies were now big enough that we could feel them moving.

"...h-h-holy fuck...d-daddy did you feel...?...o-o-ohhhh my god...!"

You feel my hips all but grinding back against yours, my tight little hole clenching at your cock, as if trying to once again milk your seed into my belly. I'm so fucking turned on that I don't know how to even try to regain control of myself, my cock already twitching and starting to get hard again as my pussy continues leaking my juices down between our thighs.

And the whole time all I can think about is the deep, desperate hope that you just got me pregnant with another baby or two.

[getitinbusan]

I've Got A Coupon (18+) 

Part 2

Namjoon: A Massage with a Happy Ending

Warnings: 18+ consensual sexual poly relationships. Always swearing, Safe sex is implied. Don't read smut if you can't handle the 🍆💦

Words: 1650

Valentine’s Day, what do you give 7 men who already have everything?

Sitting down, you create a series of Love Coupons and place them in a bowl…

Erotic movie night

Massage with a happy ending

lap dance

Voyeur, look but don’t touch!

Naked Chef, dining al fresco

Trip to the sex shop

Location of your choice!

Calling them to the kitchen they each take a turn picking their present.

Series Masterlist

6:30 am.

Joon was an early riser. Knocking lightly you were hoping he was still asleep.

No answer. Trying to silently open the door you slipped inside holding the handle so it wouldn't tip him off with the click. Loud snoring came from across the room and you could just make out his outline from the rising sun filtering through his curtains.

Tiptoeing closer you dropped your robe. Picking up the fluffy white duvet you slid underneath. God he was warm. He stirred with a sigh and moved closer, his arms wrapping around you instinctively. Namjoon was comfort. His peaceful presence could have easily lulled you into slumber if it weren't for your mission. 

"Joonie," you whispered. "Hey, wake up." 

His dimples popped as he groggily smiled. "Good morning. It's so early." 

"I wanted to make sure you started the day off right." 

Pulling the last envelope from the pocket of your robe you laid it on his chest. 

"Massage with a happy ending."  His cheeks turned red. 

"I think you deserve to be taken care of Joon, will you let me do that for you?" 

"I'm a little afraid I'm going to get too used to this…" He moved his body closer, hands hovering over your stomach. His fingertips, not sure of which way to travel, skimmed over your skin giving you goosebumps from the delicate touch. 

"What would be so wrong with that?" Your lips lingered on his. 

"I want you too badly to think of any excuses right now." 

"Good, lets start." 

Jumping out of the bed you threw your robe back on and retrieved your pile of equipment waiting in the hallway. 

"You really went all out."

He seemed surprised as you set up the table. 

"No half measures Namjoon. Now get that gorgeous ass over here." 

Pulling the sheet off the bed he wrapped himself up. 

"You know what a happy ending is right? You're just going to have to take that off in 4 feet." 

He was flustered, always so shy in his gentlemanly way. Closing the gap he abandoned his modesty beside the table. He was hard as a rock already standing straight out red and excited. 

"Should I lay on my back?" 

Pulling the cover from the table you raised your eyebrows at him suggestively. "That's totally up to you, this is a milking table." 

Never had a jaw dropped further and more dramatically than his. 

He needed encouragement. Walking over to him you let your fingers slide down his chest, "Why don't you lay down on your front and I'll just give you a massage for a bit. You won't even see me until you're ready, okay?" 

His large hands reached out and cradled your face. "It's not that I don't want to look at you. You're so fucking beautiful, I'm just a shy idiot." 

"We can work on that." You couldn't help but smile at him, "now hop on up here." 

He got on the table and lay face down.  

"We're gonna ease into this okay?" 

He nodded. 

Digging through your bag you brought out the bottle of massage oil. "This may be a little cold, are you ready?" 

Squeezing the oil in a stream down his back he squirmed at the sensation. You could have been nice and warmed it, but you liked the idea of the cold liquid making his nipples hard. 

"You've been working out huh?" You began sliding your hands over his skin. "You're a lot bigger than when we last hooked up." 

You could feel him flexing his triceps under your fingers. “It suits you.” 

Working the oil over his entire backside you wanted to up the stakes. "Is it okay if I get on top of you? It's better leverage to work out those knots." 

"umhum," he mumbled face down into the pillow. 

Grabbing the oil you quickly drizzled it down your front before climbing on. Straddling his back you rubbed yourself just above the swell of his ass. He moaned at the feeling of your pussy sliding down his skin. 

"How's that feel?" 

"So, so good Y/N."

Laying flat against him you placed a kiss between his shoulder blades and pressed your breasts into his back. Your arms smoothed down over his as you rocked yourself against his muscle. 

"Joon, I know this is for you but I'm so horny." You kissed the back of his neck, "Do you mind if I get myself off on you?" 

"Fuck baby girl, rub your pussy wherever you need it." 

Raising yourself, the mirror was in front of you. You could see the reflection of his cock hanging through the milking hole, a small slow dripping string of precum dangling from the tip.   

"If you're comfortable you should lift your head up and watch, there's a great view." 

As you rubbed yourself over his swell your hands kneaded his back muscles. He stared at you, watching you get off on him. "Fuck you've got pretty tits. I wanna feel them on my back." 

Letting your breasts hang your nipples dragged over his lubed skin. The sensation of the oil and the rubbing was too much, you couldn't help but moan the closer you got to your high. 

"That's it baby, cum all over me, make me all sticky." 

The table was rocking precariously under your enthusiasm and his cock was swinging back and forth through the glory hole.

"Joonie I'm so close." 

He flexed his glutes and with a few more passes your clit was satisfied. 

Collapsing for a second you lay heavy on top of him trying to catch your breath. "Thank you," you mustered. 

"Don't thank me, you did all the work." 

Lifting yourself to get off of him, sticky cum threads pulled between you. "That's so hot." He sat to turn himself and couldn't resist running his finger through it and sticking it in his mouth. 

"Let's do you now, are you ready for your turn?" 

He was in a daze, with a half smile and popped dimple, he could only nod. 

Grabbing some pillows off the bed you made your way under the table. Something about his penis just hanging there waiting, made it seem so much more suckable. 

"So gorgeous Joon." You licked his tip, teasing it as another ooze of precum dripped in anticipation. "I'm going to milk every drop out of you Daddy."

His moan of approval was loud. 

"Do you like that? Do you want more?" 

"Suck me please I want it so bad." He begged as you continued to play with the the tip, squirming under the torturous build up. "Take it all like you did last time.” 

"Do you think about that? Think about me sucking and fucking you in the practice room?" 

"Every day since." His breathing was heavy. 

"Do you get off  thinking about my cunt wrapped around your cock?" 

You gave him a big deep suck, you could picture his face scrunched up in pleasure and it made you want to cum again. 

"I can't stop. Whenever you bend down I can see your pretty tits in your low cut shirt. Such a bad girl never wearing a bra. I've rubbed myself raw just thinking about you."

"I put on that show just for you. When I catch you looking, I always think about your mouth on me." 

You rewarded his new inhibition with positive reinforcement. Ringing your hand around his base tightly you took him into your throat. 

"Next time you need to get off I want you to tell me. Promise you’ll use me instead of your hand, that you'll fuck my cunt open and fill me with your cum." 

He was making so much noise if anyone was walking buy they'd probably think he was recording. 

"Tell me, tell me you promise."

You were whiny, feeling the need to cum again your pussy was pulsing. Something about bringing Joon, who was so reluctant, to the point of surrender was the ultimate turn on. 

"Yeah, I promise...I promise...Fuck I'm close." 

Removing your mouth you slid your hand up and down his shaft pumping a few times before letting go. Sitting for a minute, not touching him, He was distanced from his impending orgasm. 

Legs swung over the table, he reached for your hand pulling you up and onto your feet. “You should be careful what you beg for, it might be more than you can handle.” 

He walked you backwards until your legs hit the bed. "No more fucking around."

You grinned, achievement unlocked. 

Kneeling in front of you he picked up your knees until they were bent and pushed them wide open. Staring down at your pink heat he slid two fingers inside of you. Moaning as he curled them you were left disappointed when he pulled them back out. 

"Look how excited you are." 

He held them up and showed you the sticky display before rubbing the wetness all over this cock. Pumping twice to make sure he was coated his dick hung waiting in limbo until he plunged himself inside you. The loud moan that followed was from the pure satisfaction of being stretched so completely by his girth. 

His thrusts were slow and deep, bottoming out, holding and then dragging back out against your clenching walls. "Your little pussy likes that huh?" He rammed back in. "Next time you pass me in the hallway this is what I want you to think about." 

"Fuck, Namjoon you're so fucking good. Why are you so god damn reserved? We could have been doing this for months."

He lowered himself, his body heavy on yours, his fingers gripping your hair. The slight pain with the immense pleasure shot white lightning through you. He pumped harder as you clenched and came all over his cock until he too found his release shooting his hot cum deep inside you. 

Forehead to forehead he kissed your lips. 

"Happy ending indeed." 

Part 3: Hobi - Lap dance

[prorevenge]

You mess with my cat, I'll bury you.

Sit back, this ended up kinda long.

TL;DR: Shitty coworkers let my cat live in filth for a week while I'm out of town, I get one demoted and crush the others life into dust.

I like to think I'm a patient man. I'm hard to anger, my coworkers say they haven't seen me angry in the 2 years they've known me. I have firm boundaries and as long as you don't cross any of them I can let anything go.

One of my boundaries is don't fuck with my cat.

This story is about 2 of my coworkers and me, and happened the winter of 2013.

So I worked at a veterinary hospital as a vet tech/kennel attendant, and coworker 1 is a kennel attendant(KA) coworker 2 is the kennel lead(KL). KA is the one who comes in to take care of the animals, KL is in charge of overseeing everything boarding and kennel related. They both crossed that very simple boundary.

I went away over Christmas since I lived in another state from my family, and while I was out I left my cat to board at work(one of the perks is free boarding). I trusted my coworkers would take care of him even if it was a top 2 busiest weekend of the year.

So, I set up his cage the night before I leave. He's a shy boy so i set up a tent with very distinct blankets(one is bright green, the other has rocket ships). I kiss him bye, and am on my way. I enjoy Christmas with family, candy and fudge, and other things unrelated to the story, and come back 6 days after leaving.

It's late when i get back, so the hospital is already closed and everyone has gone home. We all have a key so I swing by because I miss my cat and want to take him home.

What I am greeted by when I get to him is those same blankets, the white rocket ships now slightly tan/yellow damp with urine, old desiccated pieces of shit and smears on the wall, and a very stressed cat that smelled like pee. We're talking 6 days worth of filth. All they did was put in more food and change the litter box as far as I could tell.

I saw red.

KA, the attendant, was scheduled to take care of the animals that holiday. KL, the lead, had been there 3 different days I was gone, including the last 2. Figuring out how to destroy these people became the only thing i thought about.

I'm scheduled to work the day after I get back, and KA is there. I don't look at her all day, as it's the only way I could contol my emotions. My blood is still boiling thinking about my boy who I'd had to bathe the night before(much to his chagrin). The sight of her makes that primal part of my brain reserved for beating the shit out of things starts to burn and makes my muscles tense.

(Now some important backstory here is that KA is kind of terrible at her job. We were kind of friends since she was the only one who wasn't shitty to me when I first started. Whenever I'd find something she messed up, I'd gripe to myself but I'd fix it. She did some write-upable shit on a regular basis. I never did anything because KL was already aware and working on her so I figured 'eh, none my bidness.')

I decided against violence and figured I'd let my manager handle it. At first, I just told him about the condition of my cat and kept the rest to myself. He agreed it was unacceptable and said he'd talk to her. She denied everything, said she'd changed my cats bedding every night, that he didn't get all of it in the litter box(unfortunately true, 12lb cat[not fat] aiming at a box made literally for kittens). Basically said I lied to my manager, to my managers face without batting an eye. I gave her the chance to own up to it because that would've come with punishment enough.

My manager told me what she said, and her blatant bullshittery poked the dragon that was already awake and pissed. I told him she's fucking lying, I work in the kennel too and not to mention I know my cats shit well. He believes me, and I not so subtly point out that if she pulls this shit on an employee pet, what has she been doing with the lot of random boarders? Manager thought it was a good point, and asks me to keep an eye out for mistakes and let him know what I find.

The next day, I was in the kennel alone without her, and I began to document every single thing she did incorrectly. Remember me saying how crap she was at her job? She left me a treasure trove of shit to dig up.

To name a few of these nuggets, every single animals cage was filthy, like multi-day filthy like my cats was, two dogs had had their medications switched for the whole week, there were copious amounts of shit left in the yard(big no-no, spreads parasites and disease), and not even her documentation and charges were entered correctly. It was a trainwreck that took me the whole morning to get back to an acceptable condition.

There was material here to get her enough writeups to lose her job if she had been perfect before, and she had already been disciplined a couple times for other shit she pulled. I gather it all together and bring it to my manager, who is horrified and says he's setting up a meeting with me, KA and KL, and him to discuss it all. He encourages me to hold my temper and call them on their bullshit at the meeting. Until then I hadn't even considered KL's complicity in this bullshit, but I immediately realized there were 2 people on my wrong side. KL was not as horrid at his job as KA, he was old as hell in a demanding physical labor position. I figured what he'd got coming will be enough so I could aim everything I'd got at KA.

What's the human equivalent of shooting fish in a barrel? Because this girl had already dug herself such a hole it was incredible she hadn't been fired already. She didn't do her job, she was stealing clients from the clinic by offering to petsit for cheaper instead of offering boarding(explicitly against our contract, fireable). She had been leaving 30 minutes early leaving the shit condition I'd had to deal with. And I knew all of this.

The day of the meeting rolls around, and KA and KL are blissfully unaware when manager calls us into the office together. We all sit down and manager begins to explain what the meeting is about. He was a fucking boss and we prearranged to give KA one more chance to own up to my face and leave out the rest at first. He had asked me how far I wanted to take it, I told him I had a lot of dirt. Let's let KA dig a deeper hole first so I can use it all.

She denied it all, swore up and down she had taken care of my poor cat properly. I graciously gave her the benefit of the doubt, saying ok I believe you did clean like you say, but then how did you miss this dried up piece of shit? She said my cat must've been dehydrated. I say "oh, well you documented he'd been drinking well all week, why would he be dehydrated?" She says it might have been just from the last day. She wouldn't just admit it... So I give my manager the look, and he tells her "ok so you took care of the cat, what about all of this?" And he pulls out my stack of evidence I'd collected.

KA's face paled. KL had been silent up to this point and starts trying to apologize on KA's behalf, saying it was a busy week and things slip through the cracks. I called their shit, saying I had been able to handle as many animals as she had had to a higher degree of cleanliness than the 2 of them could accomplish, so busy was not a valid excuse.

We went over every single sin KA and KL had committed for the past 3 days, individually and in depth with discussion about each one before moving on. As we worked through the stack, manager wrote up KA for every single offence that warranted it. By the end of it she had 6 writeups(3 to get fired). She was sobbing, saying she couldn't afford her kids daycare if she didn't have that job. My manager very pointedly told her he had never seen someone with such terrible job performance in 30yrs, and if she were worried about her kids she would have done her job better.

KL was written up and removed from his lead position, and KA was given the option to quit before she was fired.

The end.

... hah! No it isn't. This is ProRevenge, not GirlOnlyLostHerJob. Oh no, there's so much more.

Remember how she had been stealing clients from the clinic? She had built up quite a large client base, and had told me some weeks before she was about to quit her job and petsit fulltime since she hates her job sooo much. Plus when she returned her key after quitting, she made sure I knew the crying was fake and she was planning to put in 2 weeks in the next couple days.

At the clinic, we still saw all of those same clients she had skimmed all the time, and plenty of them asked what happened to KA. Manager told everyone we should tell the truth, since we had a petsitter we referred to and KA was not it.

For the next few months, we saw so many faces twisted into expressions of disgust, contempt, betrayal, worry when we told them why KA was no longer there and why they should reconsider letting her watch their pets. Literally dozens of people. Anyone who has tried to petsit or do yardwork for a living before knows how hard it is to build that client base. KA had a decent one, which we absolutely destroyed.

After a while, she texted me saying I was a piece of shit who was destroying her and her kids life and she couldn't afford daycare anymore. She went from 2 or 3 petsitting gigs a week(about 300 dollars a week) to maybe 1 a month. I told her to fuck herself and blocked her number, and haven't heard anything since. Bitch.

Don't fuck with my cat.

Updates:

Edit for those saying I'm a shit human for letting this go as long as it did: KA and KL cleaned sometimes, just not enough for my standards. KA had only been there a few months and it was her first big girl job (yes, kidS at 20yrs old), and there's a small learning curve. I figured it'd be ok for a week and was poor as shit at the time so options were thin. Until that week, i was there constantly cleaning to my standards so didn't know how bad these 2 would really let it get. Protocol said lead is informed of performance issues before manager, and as i mention he was aware and KA had already been written up a couple times. I was done when i realized just how far they'd let it go so i went over KLs head right to manager because they clearly weren't handling the issues at all. Even if my cat wasn't affected, I would've done the same, he was just unfortunately there because i had to go out of town. In hindsight i wish I'd said something sooner, but workplaces have rules and i was young and tender, and didn't know it was that bad until then. But yes I'm a terrible person who abuses animals, gets people SWATted, I'm pompous and arrogant and only care when things personally affect me and my cat. You're right, reddit!

Edit 2: I'll take this opportunity to give some advice on how to pick a good kennel facility. Always, i mean ALWAYS, ask to take a tour before leaving your animal. Dont schedule an appointment, ask to go back randomly. If they try to say no, say you dont feel comfortable leaving your pet without an idea of where they're staying. If they still wont, and even a manager denies a tour, take your business elsewhere as they probably have something to hide.

If you do get a tour, here are some things to look out for. Check water bowls for grime and dirt. Some pets are messy, but if a good number are dirty, it's a big red flag.

If the kennel smells strongly of some kind of air freshener, be wary and look around for messes. A good kennel attendant will smell pee and clean and replace things until they get rid of the smell; a bad one will spray some animal odor eliminator and cover it up.

Make sure everything looks organized, properly labeled, and has some kind of system to it. Cluttered storage and unclear labeling is where so many mistakes come from; make sure they take those little things seriously, or something big may slip through the cracks.

Finding a good clinic and good boarding facility can be difficult, but they do exist. And just like you wouldn't want you or your child going to a shitty doctor or daycare, I don't want anyone taking their pets to a shitty veterinary clinic!

(source) (story by Amesa)